stake and rice is a good combo.

chili

sushi? everybody loves dat shet

Three hours? How about a nice casserole?

Are they allergic to anything? Vegetarian, on a diet, or can you cook whatever you want?

Roast chicken with chickpeas and cauliflower.

The true answer is clearly homemade deep-dish pizza.

Broth substitution is good when making just about anything involving water.
Rice, for example, can be pretty tasty if made with broth.
A vegetable of some sort would be good. Or even just vegetable medley.
Butter. Butter helps with the satiation of food. Just don't use lots and lots of it.
Something to drink is important for helping the meal along.

And for the main event, maybe you can try finding a couple of smallish aliens. Either the grey kind or the sort with a shell, but those huge eyes on the greys always make me uncomfortable, even if they're long dead. Maybe canned instead of fresh.

if you use the broth and rice idea, and you both like fish, I suggest fish as main dish. Fish and rice is always a nice combo. And Fish is a fancy dish too (try to find one that's easy to prepare, maybe already prepared). HEALTHY as well.

Fried. Pork chops.
And some kind of fancy garnish. Pork chops by themselves? Delicious, but kinda gross to look at. Add garnish? Suddenly it's some fancy shit.

Is there any particular grocery store you're buying at?

Apollo 2015/02/28(Sat)23:58 No. 627151 ID: defceb
File 142519668415.png - (136.78KB , 900x700 , 02.png )

Broth, rice, fish, a nice drink. Yes! This sounds like a brilliant idea for dinner. But... I don't have ANY of the ingredients! Come to think of it, I don't even know what the ingredients are! What should I buy to make all this delicious food?

Here's a good recipe for fried rice:

Rice
Butter
soy sauce
chicken
sesame seeds
carrots
onions
eggs

Instructions: Mince chicken, carrots, and onions into tiny, tiny pieces. Add butter, carrots, and onions to rice. Fry eggs, rice, and chicken. Add all three and mix with soy sauce and sesame seeds. Serve lightly.

Maybe you could make sushi. Can you lightly cook the fish to prevent diseases, and then mix with soy sauce? If not, get some wasabi for the fish.

TO make broth, just lightly roast some vegetables and add them to boiling water. The nice thing about broth is that you can save some of the broth in the freezer, add more ingredients later, and increase the flavor over time. However, broth is a low-level food, so you may want to purchase bargain aisle vegetables for this.

Apple Cider.

I have a good way to make baked salmon without needing to marinate it since you don't have much time. You will need:

-aluminum foil
-olive oil
-a light cheese of your choosing
-A batch of dill (it's an herb ask someone in the store)
-white rice
-a can of peas
So, first you need to make the dressing. Shred the cheese if its not shredded already then chop up the dill really well. Now mix it together in a small bowl with the cheese and some olive oil

Put the salmon in a sheet of foil then coat salmon with dressing fold the foil into a boat and leave the tips open (to let the salmon breathe)

Place in the oven pre-heated to 200C (392F)for 45 min then open up the foil during the last 5-7 minutes to let the salmon glaze a bit

Rice is easy to make just put two cups of water and one cup of rice in a pot on the stove (medium heat) add a teeny bit of olive oil and the can of peas to make it interesting once the water boils away you have rice!

If you're not familiar with the act of scaling a fish you're going to want to buy a filet.

Apollo 2015/03/07(Sat)21:18 No. 628133 ID: defceb
File 142579192451.png - (173.51KB , 900x700 , 03.png )

Alright! Now that I've got that figured out I just need to buy the ingredients. Looks like butter is closest so I'll go there first!

...oh my, it's really gone up in price lately. Which should I get?

The 3$ dollar butter so you can have more money for good fish and drink

It's just three bucks. Get the good butter; food poisoning is not worth three bucks saved.

If you have a better understanding of your significant other's diet and food allergies, THEN you get the cheap butter.

You do realize you don't have to decide right now. You can put all the good stuff in the cart, and if it turns out we went over budget, you can then go back and swap a few things out or remove them.

Your bill isn't final until you cash out at the register.

Butter substitute tastes similar enough to butter that it really does not matter unless you're baking or a huge health nut.

the 3$ package says "butter" in quotation marks... close enough isn't close enough for us! Take the 6$ one. ... it really has gotten up in price geez.

Just go with the cheap butter. Ignore the gluten free note on the expensive butter, ordinary butter shouldn't contain gluten in the first place.

>>628186
If for some godawful reason "butter substitute" isn't gluten free, and your loved one has undiagnosed celiac sprue, agonizing pain and irreversible intestinal damage may result. Get the good stuff, make a mental note to research dairy supply chains later on.

Apollo 2015/03/15(Sun)17:36 No. 629299 ID: defceb
File 142646617196.png - (250.94KB , 900x700 , 04.png )

I don't think they have an allergy? Cheap butter it is!

Next stop is cheese and it should be right over- WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CHEESES WHAT DO I EVEN PICK?

Definitely not American, that is the worst cheese.

We're topping salmon with it, right? I'm thinking some kind of Italian cheese, though I don't really know so it's fine if I'm contradicted! But I think parmesan or better yet parmigiano reggiano.

Parmesan is typically what is used alongside fish, I think.

Parmesan or Sharp Cheddar should do.

>>629314
Okay so I was right then! Parmigiano reggiano is basically fancier parmesan though so go for that if you aren't too worried about price.

Apollo 2015/03/19(Thu)20:40 No. 630035 ID: defceb
File 142682285796.png - (139.67KB , 900x700 , 05.png )

American cheese, your military may be superior but your taste isn't! Get out of here!

A little bit of Parmesan goes for $4 these days. Next stop is...

Apollo 2015/03/19(Thu)20:43 No. 630037 ID: defceb
File 142682300468.png - (180.64KB , 900x700 , 06.png )

..the meat! Oh no, it's this guy.

"Do you ever feel like grocery stores provide an illusion of luxury that only serves to mask our impoverished lifestyles?"

Tuna extinct?

pfft... LOLOLOLOL

Where is the real tuna?!

Just ask for some salmon. That stuff is expensive but TASTY. Also, the lack of tuna might imply that salmon costs LESS than the tuna substitute.

>>630037
Yes.

Salmon is our preferred fish. Failing that, uh, halibut or pollock maybe? Some kind of white fish. Tuna is not what we want.

>Do you ever feel like grocery stores provide an illusion of luxury that only serves to mask our impoverished lifestyles?
No, but then again, you're in a situation where you'd be prone to think about it more.

That doesn't sound like a very positive outlook, either. Maybe you should work somewhere you don't find as depressing?

>>630038
If the price of short-shelf-life dairy goods is spiking and the edible sorts of fish are going extinct, is it possible your world is facing the agricultural implications of some broader ecological catastrophe?

>>630037
"that is an excellent question, one with an answer that requires much introspection and solitary soul searching. please assist me in buying the my food as quickly as possible so i may leave and do exactly that"

Apollo 2015/04/04(Sat)23:17 No. 632981 ID: defceb
File 142821464036.png - (94.69KB , 900x600 , 07.png )

>"That is an excellent question, one with an answer that requires much introspection and solitary soul searching. Please assist me in buying the my food as quickly as possible so I may leave and do exactly that"

"Yeah whatever Nostradamus. Here's your Salmon, it's $10 for the pound."

>"But it was six yesterday!"

"And now it's 10. If you wanna go join the food riots over it they're at the other side of town, not here."

...food riots? What's happening? Is it 2055 or something and global warming has destroyed the ecosystem?

Well, hang on. Double check the label, he has to go by the labeled price. He's already packaged the salmon, but is it too late to switch? Trout or redfish are good too.

Called it.

New plan: rice and beans and some sort of spicy condiment. Buy in bulk, while you can still get anything at all without ration stamps.

Just get it. Fish is always the most expensive part of the meal, and even today, if you buy the wrong kind on the wrong day, the price can jump like that.

>If you wanna go join the food riots over it they're at the other side of town, not here.
That's silly. The food's here!

> ...food riots? What's happening? Is it 2055 or something and global warming has destroyed the ecosystem?
Hmm. That gives me an idea.

I don't suppose it would mean anything if I asked you about the South American War? Or maybe Martian colonization? Or uplifts?

Apollo 2015/04/08(Wed)23:33 No. 633558 ID: defceb
File 142856120127.png - (154.20KB , 900x700 , 08.png )

>"So... how about that martian colony thing, huh? Cyborgs in space, we're really living in the scifi future now, right?"

Hah, a clever distraction while I check the label on this salmon.

"I don't get paid enough to care about modern politics. It's all just rich people getting better fancier machines while we're all stuck here as wage slaves. Woo. hoo."

Fuuuuuuck, salmon really is that expensive now.

>"All the food is here, why are people rioting across town?"

"'cause that's where it's all shipped in, duhh. They'll probably riot here once the docks are emptied though. I'd bet good money they'd storm in with those dumb shirts and say something stupid like-"

Apollo 2015/04/08(Wed)23:33 No. 633559 ID: defceb
File 142856123538.png - (258.11KB , 900x700 , 09.png )

"ANARCHY IN THE UK!"

"Excuse me, sir, we're not in the UK."

"TOO BAD!."

Apollo 2015/04/08(Wed)23:34 No. 633560 ID: defceb
File 142856125490.png - (91.35KB , 900x700 , 10.png )

NOW what should I do?

become justice and punish those that took the fish.

Join in the riots! Well, pretend to. What you should actually do is raid the store while no one is looking.

>>633560
Continue shopping. Just get your stuff and either try to check out normally or dash out during the riot. ...what are the chances that they'll come after you?

Take a pen, cross out the word "closed" on the sign, and replace it with the word "open"

Call the police? Also take photos of the molotovs as you leave.

Go around the counter and get your own fish. No stealing- label it with the label making price scale thingy, it's not hard.

Calmly continue shopping, try to ignore the riots.

Call the person you love and discuss new plans.

Look for a display that you can use to defend yourself as an improvised blunt weapon, if you need to. Consider getting the broth or rice next. Whichever is closer.

We're at $13 of $40 for our budget, right?
...there aren't insanely high tax rates in this dystopian present, I hope?

1/2 Apollo 2015/04/11(Sat)20:24 No. 633938 ID: 7df7d1
File 142880907696.png - (81.28KB , 900x700 , 11.png )

>>633569
The perfect crime

2/2 Apollo 2015/04/11(Sat)20:30 No. 633939 ID: 7df7d1
File 142880940975.png - (228.58KB , 900x700 , 12.png )

I can't call my love right now! They're busy with IMPORTANT WORK!

I'll continue shopping. Rice should be just around this corner, I think?

"Down with the proletariat!"

"The bourgeoisie, Phil. Bourgeoisie. We're the proletariat."

"Oh, uhm... the government ruined our farms!"

"Now you're just repeating stuff you heard on the internet."

"I'm trying, Bob, isn't that what counts?"

you are fine, when asked just say you are poor and were trying to find cheap food before they got here.

Recognize Phil's voice, remember that you used to go to high school together before he dropped out.

>>633939
Uh go "don't shoot me please."

>>633939
Just say "excuse me" to get by. Ingrained social graces will kick in if you don't make a big deal of it.

Apollo 2015/04/11(Sat)20:54 No. 633945 ID: 7df7d1
File 142881088032.png - (117.73KB , 900x700 , 13.png )

>"Oh my god, is that you Phil! It's me, from highschool!"

"No way! It's been so long! How've you been, girl?"

>"Oh, you know, just part of that poor oppressed protestantariat."

"Proletariat"

"Oh shut up Bob nobody uses those words anyway. Are you still dating whatsherface?? Didn't she go become a cop or something?"

>Are you still dating whatsherface?? Didn't she go become a cop or something?
Oh yeah! She's doing great. I'm so proud of her, sometimes.

Don't get taken hostage as a cop's girlfriend, don't get taken hostage as a cop's girlfriend...

>>633945
Your girlfriend's totally going to show up, as a cop. Ask them to please not shoot any cops or anything. If they help you fill out the rest of your shopping list maybe you can put in a good word?

Apollo 2015/04/13(Mon)14:55 No. 634214 ID: defceb
File 142896210906.png - (197.62KB , 900x700 , 14.png )

>"Oh yeah! She's doing great. I'm so proud of her, sometimes. pleasedon'tshootanyone"

"Phil we're here to loot food and tear down the social hierarchy, not chat with friends."

"Oh fine, c'mon let's walk and talk. Or riot and talk."

This could have gone worse, I guess?

Apollo 2015/04/13(Mon)14:57 No. 634216 ID: defceb
File 142896222827.png - (227.61KB , 900x700 , 15.png )

Meanwhile...

"Security cameras at a local grocery store appear to have caught a hostage situation as riots continue to escalate. Militants have captured the significant other of local police officer and proceeded to loot various food items including but not limited to: chicken, rice, broth, soy sauce, and eggs. Police have yet to comment."

THE FUCKING MEDIA.

Find a piece of paper, write "I'm not a hostage I just know these guys" on it and hold it up to the nearest security camera.
For, uh. No reason. Just because you felt like it.
Nuh-uh I'm not using metaknowledge shut up.

For no reason, start talking about how much you hate Ox news and their lies.

>>634216
Oh. So instead of having to worry about not getting shot, and being held as a hostage over your girlfriend, you're going to have to worry about not letting them get shot when your girlfriend comes to rescue you.

Okay.

Talking heads: begin wild speculation about what the food-terrorists are planning, and what's going through the hostage's mind. One person should note she doesn't look very worried, and seems rather calm, considering. (She must have been drugged! Those bastards!).

Cut to a CNN-style virtual reality animation of the hostage taking reenactment and possible violent shootout outcomes.

Oh! Worried cop girlfriend should try her cell phone.

Ask if Phil or Bob know how to work a cash register, so you can pay and get a receipt and not end up in trouble with your girlfriend for feeding her stolen goods.

Apollo 2015/04/26(Sun)00:45 No. 636409 ID: defceb
File 143003435642.png - (125.65KB , 900x700 , 16.png )

"The food-terrorists appear to be planning to loot and pillage all of the hard-earned cash and food products in the grocery store. Based on similar riots, we also believe that this is part of a larger plan to upend the American way of capitalism, by seizing control of food distribution away from the mighty hand of the market. All things considered the hostage appears to be surprisingly calm."

"Actually it is entirely possible that the hostage has bee drugged to remain calm and compliant during the situation."

"You heard it here first, the hostage has definitely been drugged by the food-terrorists."

"Those bastards."

"News flash, the militants appear to be illegitimate children. We go now to our re-enactment of the hostage crisis."

Apollo 2015/04/26(Sun)00:46 No. 636410 ID: defceb
File 143003437692.png - (128.21KB , 900x700 , 17.png )

"Greetings comrade, I have come to liberate you from your possessions."

"Oh no! But I'm just a working class American who strives to ascend the social ladder through hard work and meager pay!"

"Nyet, your capitalism is a false god who shall crumble under my hammer and sickle."

"Save me, military industrial complex! You're my only hope!"

Apollo 2015/04/26(Sun)00:46 No. 636411 ID: defceb
File 143003439594.png - (176.38KB , 900x700 , 18.png )

"You heard it here first everyone, the hostage is a supporter of the military industrial complex. Vote yes on Proposition A to allow military contractors to further arm our police force and keep us safe from the illegitimately-born, probably hedonistic, food-terrorists."

"News flash! They have just passed through the arts and crafts aisle and the hostage now appears to be attempting communication. The sign is difficult to read, but for the sake of our ratings I will now read it live to our audience."

"*ahem* I'm... a hostage... I... know these guys."

"They appear to be saying that they are indeed a hostage and do not know these guys. Hopefully the police force will act soon to save them."

"If it's anything like the food riots in the east coast, it will probably be a blood bath."

Seriously, is anyone running this show into the ground, or has your society fractured up to the façade?

Run away, your anarchist friend probably won't fire on you, and the longer you stay the more the media and anarchists are going to escalate in stupidity.

...eh, that's good enough. Unless you want to draw a big X over the word hostage. Regardless, flip off the camera and rip the sign in half in protest.

Well, the only path is clear now.
ANARCHY IN THE UK!
DOWN WITH BIG MEDIA!
GMO FOODS WILL TURN YOUR DNA INTO POTATOES!

Meh, good enough. Ask Phil if you can borrow some foodstuffs. If he's being un-marxist and wants compensation, promise him leftovers.

Interrupt your coverage of the food riots to cut to commercials for overpriced food.

As for our protagonist: I think you just need to finish up your shopping and leave. It'll be clear you're not a hostage if you walk out of the building, right?

You could call your girlfriend and tell her you're not a hostage please tell them not to come in shooting to rescue me, except you don't even know if she's seen this yet.

Apollo 2015/04/27(Mon)00:11 No. 636604 ID: defceb
File 143011871398.png - (181.36KB , 900x700 , 19.png )

"More news after this brief message form our sponsors."

"Mega meat! So good you won't notice it's synthetic. Financing options now available."

Meanwhile...

"I'm just saying, Ox news has practically become a parody of itself. I hear they're trying to bring back the Red Scare now."

That should be everything. Call my girlfriend? But they have IMPORTANT WORK! Though I guess I could shoot them a quick text.

'hey honey caught in a riot, not in danger, plz don't worry or send superviolentSWAT teams plz ily'

Eh, can't afford grammar in this economy.

"Hey guys, it was nice seeing you again but I'm going to bounce before things get worse around here. Or that Molotov earlier burns the building down."

"Shit, Mark actually threw the Molotov again?"

"Uh... yeah? It was part of the whole 'anarchy in the UK' bit five updates ago. Anyway, seeya."

Apollo 2015/04/27(Mon)00:13 No. 636605 ID: defceb
File 143011879882.png - (114.18KB , 900x700 , 20.png )

I check the time and see I still have TWO HOURS left. Looks like all I need to do now is check out.

"Go away"

...um.

"If you're looking to steal from the cash register, there's nothing left in it."






"Also I have a butter knife and I"m not afraid to use it."

"Could you check me out, please?"

Text your girlfriend: "hey bb hanging out with phil from high school he's an anarchist proletenariet now so thats good for him <3 <3 c u soon"

>>636605
Ask if you're going to be prosecuted if you just walk out with your groceries.

So by "go away" do you mean that you, as an employee of this store, are explicitly instructing me to leave the premises with this bag of food and not pay for it? I'd be willing to, but I don't want any miscommunication.

But... you just want to buy some stuff.

Hold up your groceries in front of your chest, two handed, and go:

No,I actually want to check out. I mean, I know there's a riot now and I could probably just walk out with this, but I'm dating a cop and I'd feel guilty serving stolen food for dinner.

"Don't worry, I don't want to take any of your money." and casually stroll out, bags in hand.

Apollo 2015/04/27(Mon)10:51 No. 636643 ID: defceb
File 143015706327.png - (133.60KB , 900x700 , 21.png )

"I'd just like to check out and go home please."

"Hm... if you say so." She makes quick work bagging all the groceries. "The total will be $41.50."

>>636643
"Here's 40 bux. Take it or leave it."

>>636643
...I don't suppose I could have 3.6% off for customer loyalty in the middle of a riot?

Or coupons! Is there a coupon book laying around?

If all else fails, start raiding the take a penny leave a penny trays from all the isles. We only need 150. Or look around for the vending machines they usually have by the checkout and check the coin returns.

Wait, does that add up to 41.50$? Or are the shown prices not with tax added?

In either case the 40$ offer seems decent considering that you've been accosted by rioters.

Turn to the Ox News viewers and tell them your ransom is $1.50. Maybe they'll send you the money.

Forget the butter. Do not freak out.

Ask the rioters if they can lend you the remaining $1.50.

Probably won't work, but it's worth a shot.

Hey Phil! Can you spare two bucks for a starving-yet-scrupulously-honest proletarianite such as me?

Then give him fifty cents change back.

Suggest you should get out (with your groceries) quickly due to the fires...

Apollo 2015/04/29(Wed)20:12 No. 637020 ID: defceb
File 143036353969.png - (163.92KB , 900x700 , 22.png )

>"Uh... Hey Phil! Can you possibly spare two dollars for a poor rolypolytariot?"

"Why? You going to go buy drugs with it?"

>"I might."

"Awesome. Pay me back later!"

>"Great, now TAKE MY MONEY!"

I pay, then grab the food and run off.

Apollo 2015/04/29(Wed)20:13 No. 637021 ID: defceb
File 143036358943.png - (167.85KB , 900x700 , 23.png )

"Hold it! Nobody is allowed to leave without the bosses permission!"

Really? I'm so close to the exit.

Apollo 2015/04/29(Wed)20:13 No. 637022 ID: defceb
File 143036362849.png - (199.69KB , 900x700 , 24.png )

*bounce, bounce, THUD*

Capitalism wins again.

>>637022
Did you get a receipt? You need to be able to prove you're a law-abiding citizen.

Hum "we are the champions" and stroll out of there like a boss.

Heroic victory pose in the parking lot. Groceries, get!

The newsreel just recorded you clearly throwing money at the cashier. Wonder how well those newscasters will scribble on that kind of receipt...

Anyways, you got the groceries. Now go home.

>>637039
Reverse footage, now she's stealing from the cashier!

Apollo 2015/05/05(Tue)17:28 No. 638343 ID: defceb
File 143087209688.png - (293.46KB , 900x700 , 25.png )

I run on home as fast as my legs can take me. The trip takes half an hour.

Looks like the protests have reached here too.

"Ma'am, there is currently a large protest in action, please find another way around."

>"But my apartment is there!"

"I need to ask you to find another way around."

>>638343
Ask what streets are blocked. Know where you can't go, in order to find where you can go.

Do you know him through your girlfriend?

If so: [name], don't be a dick. You're dinner-blocking your coworker! I gotta cook.

Alternatively: explain you are totally a dangerous protestor, so he's got you on the wrong side of the barrier. He can't leave you loose! Who knows the damage you might do. Contain me!

...then when you're on the other side just walk over to your building.

go around back.

Apollo 2015/05/06(Wed)00:26 No. 638469 ID: defceb
File 143089719608.png - (107.34KB , 900x700 , 26.png )

>"I'm actually the uh... most dangerous protester! Yeah! Who knows what I'll do out here! I might even protest you! You HAVE to detain me."

"...if you insist? Right this way ma'am."

>"I LIED! Later nerd!

"S-stop right there!"

Well now I have this riot police chasing me too. Now what?

>>638469
tell him about the fascinating world of zoobooks.

>>638469
Yakkity sax.

Also jump over the barricade and have the protesters block the cop for you.

Run right through the crowd of protesters. A lone charging cop isn't gonna make a lot of headway in that crowd

1. Take out the butter
2. Take a piece off of it
3. Drop it behind you
4. Have him slip on it
5. Laugh... HARD!

Shout "Now you see the violence inherent in the system! Help, I'm being oppressed!" then use your running start to jump on top of the barricade and crowd-surf across the protesters to the front door of the apartment complex. If a cop tried the same thing, they'd just drop him.

>>638608
Do not throw away the butter you went through so much trouble for.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)13:39 No. 638873 ID: defceb
File 143103115160.png - (134.40KB , 900x700 , 27.png )

>"Now you see the violence inherent in the system! Help, I'm being oppressed!"

"I heard violence!"
"I heard oppressed!"
"LET'S RIOT."

>"Carry me home, brave prositutariat!"

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)13:40 No. 638874 ID: defceb
File 143103124972.png - (119.25KB , 900x700 , 28.png )

"Down with the burger-geise!"

Maybe I started a riot. But now I'm home, so... worth it?

So worth it. Now rush inside and get cookin'!

Hope that your beloved isn't home too early.

>>638874
Yes. Of course. Get to cooking. Hope your girlfriend isn't too mad about giving her more work.

>>638873
Crowd surf in a skirt like you don't even care.

>Maybe I started a riot. But now I'm home, so... worth it?
It only won't be worth it if the riot means your girlfriend has to work overtime and is late for (or misses!) dinner.

Hopefully things calm down before that.

Hurry up and get indoors.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)15:16 No. 638894 ID: defceb
File 143103697944.png - (153.77KB , 900x700 , 29.png )

Yes! To cooking! My apartment is near the top floor, so I'll have to take the elevator. I'm so excited to cook! Looks like someone else needs to ride up too.

"...hey, weren't you on TV earlier?"

"Yes! I was in the movie "Anarchy in the UK." I think it was on the Box channel sometime today. Did you enjoy my performance?

No, probably my doppelganger or something? You know how there's a theory that someone always looks like you somewhere in the world. It was most likely them.

I was on a cooking show once. Maybe you caught a rerun?

Stay silent. Keep that smile on your face.

>>638894
Tell him you weren't a hostage if that's what he's asking.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)18:08 No. 638921 ID: defceb
File 143104732818.png - (145.42KB , 900x700 , 30.png )

>"What, me? No. Certainly not. You probably saw a doppelganger. On a cooking show movie. On the Box channel. I'm not a hostage."

"...you're weird." They get off a few floors below mine. Whew, dodged that one.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)18:12 No. 638924 ID: defceb
File 143104754685.png - (203.88KB , 900x700 , 31.png )

Finally, home sweet home.

<sub>"...following the swat raid, the hostage appears to have gone missing. Experts assume they have been kidnapped and are now being carried away to a convenient enemy state.

In related news, police are urging people to remain in their homes and keep all doors locked and closed until the riots blow over. Here's Johnny with the weather."</sub>

Ohhh, I left the TV on again. I check the clock and see I still have an hour and half left.

Call your beloved to tell her you're alright, and get cooking.

Check if you have any messages that matter (like, "Hi hon, I'm going to be home early / late"), and then get your food unpacked and start cooking.

>>638924
Alright, time to make sure you have all the ingredients, then go through the recipe to make sure it's clear in your head before you start. Get a good estimate for how long it'll take. Defrost anything that needs to be defrosted, and make sure to preheat the oven before you start cooking!

>>638924
Double-check living room for guests.

Remember to lock the door, in accordance with police advice.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)20:25 No. 638954 ID: defceb
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>Double-check the living room for guests
This is the only room! Besides the bathroom, of course. It's a small apartment but in this economy it's the best we can do.

>Defrost frosty ingredients, preheat oven, check recipe, etc
Check! It should take me just under and hour to cook everything.

>Lock the door!
Check!

>Check for messages!
Looks like I got one!

"Hey babe riots reaching this part of town. Chief letting me go 'cause of leg. Ridin' w/ Mark, gonna be heli but don't tell anyone sssshhhhh. love you lots hope you're safe<3333"

THEY'RE OUT EARLY. If they're getting a lift from Mark then they'll be here in about... thirty minutes! That's not enough time!

>If they're getting a lift from Mark then they'll be here in about... thirty minutes! That's not enough time!
Gotta stall her!

...do you have any really chatty neighbors you could put between the helipad and your apartment to delay her?

Do you know anyone who has a drone they could fly around the airspace and get in the way?

They also have to get past the riot. Depending how they do it that might take them a while.

Really don't sweat it, I'm sure they'll appreciate the nice dinner even if it isn't ready as soon as they get home. Just work fast (but not too fast, you don't want to mess something up).

>>638960
Yeah, Pretty much this. Don't sweat if you're not finished yet when they get back. I'm sure they'll appreciate it- and the riot outside will probably slow them just a bit anyway.

Patience. You've gone through a hectic time to get to the romantic dinner. Don't ruin it by poisoning the dishes through haste.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)21:50 No. 638970 ID: defceb
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>Patience

You're right! I take a moment to recenter myself. Then I text the neighbor.

>"hey dude remember that favor you owe me"
"oh no"
>"I won't ask anything weird this time promiseeeee"
"what is it"
>"I need you to distract bae for like a while"
"how am I supposed to do that"
>"idk show her your ring collection again"
"I got so many tho"
>"pimp hands yo. wear 'em all. go make fiddy cent proud."
"fine"

Yes! Now that just leaves one last problem in my way...

...I don't actually know how to cook.

>>638970
Just look up the recipe on the internet and FOLLOW IT CAREFULLY.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)22:41 No. 638980 ID: defceb
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>Just look up the recipe on the internet
Check!

>and FOLLOW IT CAREFULLY.
I'll... do my best!

I boil, toil, and cook my way through the recipes. I get so focused that time simply slips away.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)22:42 No. 638981 ID: defceb
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"Hey honey, I'm home!"

Oh no! You failed me, neighbor! I still need five minutes before everything will be ready!

>>638981
Good enough!

say hi and say you have a special surprise and to wait just a little bit longer.

Look through the peepholento make sure it's her.

Say baby I have a surprise for you so could you close your eyes coming in? Will be ready in 5 minutes.

Tell her that dinner will be ready soon.

No more drama, your mind might snap.

Dinner
Movie
Bed

Simple.

>>638986
Not just her eyes, but her nose as well!

>>638981
Don't delay, let them in.
They'll probably need a few minutes to get ready for dinner anyway!

Apollo 2015/05/08(Fri)00:59 No. 639007 ID: defceb
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>”Cover your eyes! I’ve got a secret for you, but I need a few more minutes before it’s ready.

“Okay dear, but you’re going to have to lend me a hand then. Oh! Close the windows too, I think they’re going to start using tear gas out there.”

>”O-okay! Just a few more minutes.”

Apollo 2015/05/08(Fri)01:00 No. 639009 ID: defceb
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“What is that? It smells really good!”

>”It’s a secret, now sit down.”

“I can’t see the chair, I'm still covering my eyes."

>”Right, take my hand. It’s right over here.”

“I hope this is food, I’m getting hungry.”

Apollo 2015/05/08(Fri)01:03 No. 639011 ID: defceb
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>”Okay you can look now! I made you some broth, fried rice, salmon!”

“Oh, honey you didn’t have to do this.”

>”I wanted to!”

“It’s delicious! You made it all yourself?”

>“Well…”

Apollo 2015/05/08(Fri)01:04 No. 639012 ID: defceb
File 143107225205.png - (157.44KB , 900x700 , 39.png )

>“...I may have gotten some help.”

THE END

Dinners cooked: 1/1
Governments overthrown: 0/1
Riots started: 1/1
Illuminati plots exposed: 0/3

Achievements unlocked:

Fifteen Minutes of Fame - Starred on TV

Favored Discount - Went over budget

Anarchy in the UK - Started a riot

Super Mario Sister - Bounced off a Riot Policeman’s Helmet

Good End - Totally got laid after

>>639012
What, no post-credits scene? Laaaaaame.

>>639017
We totally got laid, isn't that enough?

>>639012
It's a good thing we didn't overthrow the government. Our girlfriend works for the government! That could have annoyed her and messed up the dinner. (And our totally getting laid after).

>>639012
>no showing the sex afterwards
7/10 bretty gud.

>>639022

Are you kidding?

11/10 cutest quest ever.

Would (and will) re-read whenever I am sad and need a happiness boost. Best quest.