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600413 No. 600413 ID: 2fba35

You are a princess.
Sort of.
You are also a traditionally trained ambush warrior of the upper echelons of classiness. You wield duel long-hatchets and are getting pretty good at this out-doorsman stuff.
You are very lucky in that you have no siblings and likely never will. This makes your job approximately 1000% easier.
Your given name is stupid so you go by your princess name. What is your princess name?
Expand all images
No. 600416 ID: 2ec61a

No. 600417 ID: 2fd516

Princess Glimmerstrike.
No. 600418 ID: 9ddf68

No. 600419 ID: a19cd5

princess wing-ding of hot-dogia
No. 600420 ID: 2fd516

You know what why not.

Princess Dickbutt.
No. 600421 ID: dd8e0b

No. 600422 ID: 330ce5

Princess deathstar
No. 600423 ID: 3009b4

Princess Poofenplotz.
No. 600426 ID: d3be40

Hanabi Oshiro.
No. 600427 ID: 2fba35
File 141517054032.png - (2.57MB , 1068x1301 , striker1.png )

Your Princess name is Glimmerstrike because your blades are shiny and so is your blistering aura*. Not to mention the way blood bounces off the glistening metal compound when you make a blow.
But Glimmerstrike is a lot of letter shapes and makes you sound like a horse or a dragon. Noble and terrifying beasts, but not assassins. You go by Striker. You are high-class enough to be deserving of an adverb title, you think.

*Aural depiction not to life
No. 600428 ID: 2fba35
File 141517082421.png - (2.21MB , 1120x1091 , striker2.png )

‘Dickbutt’ is an old family name. Its supposed to be the sound a particular cute bird, also called the ‘dicbut,’ makes. You shun these birds. You can only admit these facts to yourself and the voices in your head who are also yourself.

Striker, you are lost.
You deny being lost. The forest is vast but you know there are powerful estates in here, somewhere, hidden in the foliage. You must find them and also avoid detection by their agents. It is a delicate dance.
You might consider stopping to rest, taking inventory.

What will you do, dickbutt?
No. 600431 ID: 2fd516

Make a camouflaged little alcove that you can rest in. Take stock of your inventory and skills. Can you do sweet ninja jumps between trees and shit?
No. 600439 ID: 01745f

Ok, so our mission is to find a number of hidden buildings without being found ourself? How did we know they are here to begin with (since that might be relevant to how to find them more specifically)?

Also, what are we a princess (or sort-of-princess) of?
No. 600443 ID: 33c81b

are we the princess of pancakes?
No. 600449 ID: d3be40

Use whatever hunting skills you have to find shelter (from other people) and then check your inventory. Find out if you have enough supplies to make a tent or fire.
No. 600452 ID: 879a42

Become one with nature and be not lost anymore.
No. 600454 ID: dd8e0b

Take inventory, first. We need to know what we have before we can make informed decisions about what to do.

What do you do with powerful estates when you find them?
No. 600460 ID: 2fba35
File 141521093879.png - (1.45MB , 1200x590 , striker3.png )


>Take inventory and account for skills
"Can you do sweet ninja jumps between trees and shit?”

Who do you think you are? Orange Aura Fox Child? You think you can use your chakrahs to cling to trees and make copies of yourself? You think your soul is inhabited by that of a demon?

Come on, man, this is real life. And Orange Aura got canceled after just two seasons. :(

It takes centuries of training to do that stuff. And, reality check number four, no one lives past 120! So you’re not even sure how you know how long it takes to learn to be able to do that stuff, since it’s clearly impossible? You must be getting delirious.

Furthermore, you never had a teacher in the ancient martial art of energy manipulation. Its kind of passe. Once upon a time, the upper class, mostly overlapping with the warrior classes, ALL learnt the skill. They say it was some Dragon Orb Z shit, but it’s probably just fables. No, you just know how to sneak into places you don’t belong and use your sweet swords you mean hatchets.

As for locating your targets: You suppose you don’t ACTUALLY know if the other princesses and princes are in here. You had assumed as much because this land has been claim to your extended family basically since the dawn of recorded history. They don’t have any known palaces or mansions anywhere else in the world? Surely kings live in grandiose houses.
No. 600464 ID: 2fba35

stuff in bag and on person:
- some snacks you gathered from the wild: You've been putting off trying the berries and mushrooms.
-nature guides: one for things that move and one for things that don't move. The books are outdated and originally published many kilometers to the north.
-fresh undergarments
-a first aid kit you've already had a dive in. All that's left is a needle, suture thread, gauze, an some other odds and ends. Keropi abrasion stickers?
-some books to entertain yourself with if you get bored
-sweet gloves, bro
-an old fashioned water skin filled with rain water
-some salty shrimp chips and sweet round sugar crispie, gum by the foot, bees wax, a cooking knife
-some all purpose cotton string
-your hand written notes and maps concerning your journey
-a collectable plush which was forced on you
-the family ring, which you recently inherited
No. 600470 ID: dd8e0b

Well, you could try looking up the mushrooms and stuff in the nature guide. It's not for this area, but maybe they have a big enough range that they'll be included.

Food and Rest are probably our top priorities, depending on how tired / hungry you are. You either need a safe place to rest, or we need to search the area to see if you can find anything you know is safe to eat (assuming the mushrooms and roots and stuff aren't in the book, or known to you, you want to safe them as a last resort).
No. 600474 ID: 330ce5

Magic mushroom time!
No. 600477 ID: 2fd516

Alright then let's plan out the next leg of the journey. Check out your maps.

How many issues are there of Housetrapped now?
No. 600489 ID: 2fba35
File 141522660513.png - (1.09MB , 600x945 , striker4a.png )


Most of the forest noms you found are in the book or look related to things in the book. But the guide is adamant that all suspicious mushrooms should be roasted prior to eating. You’re pretty sure this is bullshit advice because forests as a general rule are too humid to start fires in. As far as you know, anyway. You mean, you’ve been trying to start a fire for days with no progress. In fact, the whole reason this land is of value is its crazy high humidity.

Housetrapped? You mean PadSnaged? It is released in daily installments in most local newspapers. At the end of the six month margin, the installments are collected into trade paper backs. This is volume three, which compiles the last three and a half tpb. You don’t know what happens after this semi-omnibus because it’s fair to say you haven’t had access to any steady newspaper subscriptions lately. You are just glad your custodian isn’t around to police what media you have access to, anymore.
No. 600490 ID: 2fba35
File 141522689723.png - (1.51MB , 900x783 , striker5.png )

The maps are based off hearsay from the last local villagers you met before stepping off the highway into this frickin private-property-that-should-be-a-national-park. You’ve been adding to them ever since. There are some caves near by, maybe two hours walk, that you heard of. Then there’s a geological marvel called ‘table top mountain.’ You can see it from here if you climb a tree. Maybe four hours hike to the top. Other than that it seems to be a refreshingly endless sea of trees. Sometimes they are fern trees covered in moss and other times they are more like pine trees.

You have some hunches about where the estates of other princesses and maybe even some princes might be and you've been carefully skirting them.
No. 600491 ID: 2fd516

Any monsters in this forest?

Head to the table top. It could be a good way to spot some estates. What're you gonna do when you find them?
No. 600492 ID: 01745f

So are these other princes/princesses also trying to kill each other, or is it us against all of them as a group? And is our goal for going after them to take their positions or just to get revenge or such? (If the former, is that socially acceptable to do or will we need a cover story to explain why all our rivals suddenly died?)
No. 600493 ID: 2fba35

“Any monsters in this forest?” you ask yourself. You recall a story from your childhood. It is tl;dr and goes something like this:

There was once a forest that was full of trees but instead of growing in circles like most trees do and having texture and form and spiraling branches, these trees grew straight up and down. A path carved straight through the trees so straight that one could see light on the other side at the end of the path.

Near the trees that grew straight up and down lived a family with six children. One day, the youngest said, ‘I will walk straight through the forest that grows straight up and down, down the path that cuts straight through it.’ His first parent shook their head and said, ‘Do not go down that path alone.’ The boy said he would be fine and took down the path. The neighbors on the other side of the forest did not meet the boy and he was never heard from again.

Later, the second and third youngest children said to their second parent, ‘We will walk straight through the forest sideways and look past each other’s shoulders, on either side of each other until we find out little brother.’ The second parent shook their head and said, ‘Do not go down that path alone.’

‘We weren’t going to,’ said the second and third youngest children.

‘Then do not go unarmed,’ said the second parent. The children said they would be fine and took down the path together.

Though the second and third youngest children watched each other’s backs the whole time down the path, the neighbors on the other side of the forest never met the children and they were never heard from again.

Later, the oldest and second oldest and third oldest children said to their third parent, ‘We will walk straight through the forest each of us with a sword, a knife and a flame, until we find our little siblings.’ The third parent shook their head and said, ‘do not go down that path alone.’

‘We weren’t going to,’ said the first and second and third oldest children.
‘Then do not go unarmed,’ said the third parent.

‘We weren’t going to,’ said the first, second and third oldest children.

‘Then do not go down that path,’ said the third parent. The children said they would be fine and took down the path together and armed, each with a sword, a knife and a flame.
And though the children went straight down the path, watched each other’s backs and were armed each with a sword, a knife and a flame, the neighbors on the other side of the forest never met them and they were never heard from again.

Many years past and the three parents added a fourth to their group and in this new marriage produced a single child.

One day, the single child said to the fourth parent, ‘I will walk straight through the forest that grows straight up and down, down the path that cuts straight through it.’ The fourth parent shook their head and said, ‘Do not go down that path.’
No. 600498 ID: 2fba35
File 141522947269.png - (3.96MB , 1200x1568 , inktober25.png )

There are lots of variations on this story and many forests are said to be THE ONE. There is also the story of The Nag. So similar are the stories, they are often combined.
You would sooner marry a commoner and denounce all right to the throne than go anywhere they say the Nag is.
No. 600502 ID: 2fba35
File 141523015984.png - (1.12MB , 1136x680 , striker6.png )

When you meet another princess, she might attack you and take your place. As one of the queens’ illegitimate grandchildren, you are 15th in line for the throne and unlike many other princesses, you are not in line for any of the thrones to any nearby kingdoms. If you meet a prince, you will kill him and take his place. Everyone in line for the throne behind you will hitch up a notch and chaos will break loose as they all scramble to perhaps better their placements in line. As soon as one person reinstates the ancient tradition of Princess Usurption, murder will suddenly seem a lot less unacceptable. Princes may come after you or may hire cousins and half and quarter siblings to take care of you then promise the assassin grace in his court once he achieves it. Princes are generally lazier than princesses.

Also, you have reason to believe that you are not the first princess in five generations to re-instate the usurpation standard.
No. 600521 ID: 53f127

Compass makers hate this one simple trick: moss only grows on the north side of trees. Use this information to go in a northerly direction.
No. 600526 ID: 2fd516

What are those clusters in the family tree? How would you replace a prince?
No. 600571 ID: dd8e0b

>You’re pretty sure this is bullshit advice because forests as a general rule are too humid to start fires in.
Well, it can also be somewhat difficult to start a fire from first principles if you don't know what you're doing, as well. What method have you been using?

Yeah, not a bad idea to survey the land. And heading that way should take you by the village, where you could get things like food or fire if you needed them.
No. 600572 ID: d3be40

That's a lot of people to murder. You're going to need some allies.

What skills do you have? Those dual hatchets imply that you have some skill in woodcutting.
You may as well start by honing your ability to chop branches, then chop a tree.

Remember, the greatest power royalty has is the ability to command others. You are currently alone. Show those you cross paths with that you have skills other than bossing people around, and many of them will respect you.
No. 600593 ID: 2fba35
File 141530805698.png - (1.80MB , 900x954 , striker7.png )

You try one last time to start a fire before heading North to Tabletop using the moss to guide you. You’ll need your energy if you’re going to tackle the climb. Frustratingly, You feel the top of the rock will be a better place to start a fire. But you’re not there yet. And you can’t make the trip until you start a fire. Which you can’t start until you’re at the top. ect.
You start by finding some old brush and shaving down to the dry part to make some kindling.
Then you bang some hard stuff together. Perfect sparks.
Blast. The same humidity that gives life also isn’t very conducive to creating the stability needed for civilization. Maybe you could use the ol’ ‘concentrate your life force onto one molecule until it splits’ trick. You also still have your string and beeswax and TY Dicbut Beenie Fobber.

Hey, while we’re on the topic of your life force, what is the psycho-tangible visual representation of it?
enter value = spectral color: 1 ≤ c ≤ 100, where 1=red, 50= green, 98=hot pink
enter value = wavelength = 1 ≤ w ≤ 100,
enter value = amplitude = 1 ≤ a ≤ 100
enter value = largest extension from core: 1 ≤ e ≤ ∞, where 1 = just past your skin,1000 = the size of the forest. If your wavelength and amplitude are both 100, your extension is probably as big as the biggest amphitheater you’ve ever seen
enter value = other notes:

alternatively, specify how powerful you think your life force is in general and how it manifests itself.

While we’re at it, are you even big and strong enough to make the hike? It’s pretty steep and rugged.
enter age value = 12 ≤ age ≤ 25
No. 600594 ID: d3be40

spectral color = 35
wavelength = 65
amplitude = 45
largest extension from core = 25

other notes:

Your mind is skewed from the revelations that completely shattered your past, and destroyed any trust you had in your previous beliefs and former guardians, yet did not break your psyche, only to leave it slowly mutating into something not worthy of a pure-hearted princess. Not that you have ever been a pure hearted princess (or anything less than a spoiled brat) since the age of 5, but still.

Theory: SOMETHING happened to you a long time ago, but the repercussions never registered in your head until a traumatic event that recently happened, connecting the dots. The end result is that your strong mind, while unbroken, has been deprived of the mental nutrients it needs to stay sane - the stories you learned as a child have dark origins, the family and friends you believed you could trust - and had to trust as a child - have now become threats to your well being and your ambitions, their thoughts completely alien to you. As a result, you are now hearing subconscious voices that now make up the brunt of your decision making analysis. Or that's what you tell yourself.

You have the ability to Force Sense everything within a small room's distance of yourself. Your weakness is that you can't analyze more than a few factors about the area around you (temperature, wind, density, electricity, humidity, life force, that's it) and you can't affect anything unless it is exrememely easier to just go up to it and influence it with your own body. Your analysis is measured in discrete intervals, which is bad; you have a sense of everything around you but have to concentrate on a small area to determine exactly how hot/windy/dense/jolting/humid/energized it is.

Also, for some reason, you can't analyze yourself. This is weird, but not unheard of.
No. 600603 ID: dd47f3

Spectral colour-80
Largest extension from core-500

No. 600672 ID: 2fba35
File 141539261443.png - (928.99KB , 900x518 , striker8 1.png )

;_; What the fuck, brain
Now is not the time to be pondering your abandonment issues. Okay, you can’t start a fire and you’re maybe a little developmentally delayed in the whole chakra aural projection department. Like the school nurse told you: it’s no big deal! Lots of people take longer to figure things out! That has nothing to do with this right here, right now. And this animalistic fetal position? Totally helps conserve body heat.

Fuck you, brain.

You are not spoiled and you are going to prove it by absolutely NOT returning to town again to have the hairdresser fix your hair. You are going to figure out the ‘roughin it’ thing yourself. You are going to realize the destiny that should have been your birthright SEVENTEEN YEARS ago.

= spectral color: 35, lime green
value = wavelength: 40
value = amplitude: 45
value = largest extension from core: 25
value = other notes: kind of sparkly

Your aura is green. There’s nothing wrong with that. Old wives’ tales and folk songs and expressions mean nothing. You just HAPPEN to have questionable genetic patronage. There is no scientific evidence to suggest that children with green auras are bastards.
Your life force flows gracefully through you at almost perfect radial symmetry with a wave length almost matching the amplitude. One day, when you start making love, you will be known for being gentle yet encompassing. Giggidy.
Your largest extension is rated at 25, which the technician who visited your school when you were all getting tested said was excruciatingly high for a kid your age, size, and training level. When highly agitated and the frequency is turned on high, your aura should fill a medium-sized room. All part of being of royal descent~

You still have a bag of shrimp crispies and a roll of sugar disks to consume. You were saving them for an emergency, but things are getting dire. You might consider eating them on the way up the mountain or you could make camp right now. The sun is getting high in the sky and that makes you sleepy.
No. 600675 ID: d3be40

Store the food for now. Processed food is bad for your health, but has a long shelf-life and can energize you in an emergency. That's what junk food is meant for - when you're desperate and in a wasteland, the first thing you want to eat is the crud that is contained in processed with tested chemicals and hermetically-sealed packages, instead of the crud that is covered in mud and filled to the brim with untested chemicals.

Besides, most food tastes better when you're starving. Wait until your hunger can kill you, then eat the food.

Oh right, important note:


Basically, remember to roast the animals you hunt until their flesh turns white (or pink, but it's better to be sure). There are other methods to cooking, but you don't know those so just focus on hunting animals.

Finally, there may be laws against poaching. Ignore them: you are here to assassinate the local rulers. Laws don't apply to people who aren't a part of the civilization they pertain to. In effect, no civilization has the right to order the people who are not part of said civilization, only threaten or persuade. But don't kill any baby animals for fun - not for morality, but for the sake of your own sanity.
No. 600676 ID: 88960e

Eat and rest now. It's a bad idea to start a hike, close to dark, in bad a bad situation. Especially if there's the chance you might run into an enemy or competitor also trying to search from the high ground.
No. 600682 ID: dd47f3

Well, whatever, aura isn't everything, buuut discrection is the better part of valor and there's more than one reason to rest during the day-when the sun is high that's when it's the hottest and our resources are at a premium. Let's get some rest first, shall we?
No. 600686 ID: b88f04

On the notes of hunting and food, if you have to cannibalize someone remember don't eat the brain. Lethal diseases can be gotten that way. An easy way to remember this is "zombies are stupid and calling them 'walkers' does not legitimize them in any way you damn hacks"
No. 600692 ID: 2fba35
File 141540386039.png - (1.51MB , 1050x685 , striker9a.png )

You say ‘fuck it.’ You’re a growing royaling with an over-sized life energy coursing through your veins. You eat the crispies and build a sort of structure from fern fronds and hit the hay. Or, in your case, the moss you rang all the water out of. As you lay down, your tummy starts to get upset. You attempt to pass out before the tummy ache starts hits full throttle. You will rise again in four hours when the sun begins its descent in earnest and you can see again.

Damn, the humidity in this place...

select new character while Princess Glimmerstrike Dicbut III snoozes?
>y >n
No. 600693 ID: dd47f3

Let's check out the...Competition? Learn more about these 'aura' shenanigans the peoples here can do.
Any name for this race? The tail suggests not human...
No. 600694 ID: 2fba35
File 141540756972.png - (637.58KB , 900x357 , striker10.png )

Oh wow
You marvel over this beautiful hand drawn ink concept art for these adorable Kentropan babies. There are so many you can barely decide which one to indulge your curiosities with. They each conceivably have a wide girth of possible ages, energy patterns, skills, personalities and family backgrounds.

It should be noted that Kentropa is a planet and not a country. The languages spoken there are all highly dependent on the speaker’s ability to memorize complex conjugations of otherwise simple root words in regards to the subject’s proximity to the speaker in both space and time. That is why we will not be learning any Kentropan dialects.

Select character:
>Striker >a >b >c >d >e

>all these characters suck, make new ones immediately, bend to my will pls
No. 600696 ID: 88960e

No. 600700 ID: dd47f3

Gotta say, of the designs I see here, I like A&B, but E looks like she's quite sophisticated, even if she's older than some of the other characters...
My vote's going for A I suppose.
No. 600702 ID: bafb0f

B fo sho', diggin the mad science sheik
No. 600703 ID: 2fba35

a: 1
b: 1.5
e: 1.5
No. 600730 ID: 53f127

I vote "A"
No. 600737 ID: d3be40

Uh... can we pick a non-royalty character?

I get the feeling that Striker is NOT going to ally with any of her siblings/cousins. Right now, she needs allies. Let's find her one.

If any of the above are non-royalty, that's my choice (an even spread of fractal votes among the non-royals). Otherwise, please design a non-royalty character. Anyone from commoners to nobles will do, or those outside of the caste system (badass survivalists will be required).
No. 600740 ID: 2fba35

>Uh... can we pick a non-royalty character?

a: 2
b: 2.5
e: 1.5
No. 600741 ID: 2fba35

a: 2
b: 2.5
e: 1.5

a: 1.5
b: 2
e: 1.5
No. 600743 ID: 2fba35

a: 2.5
b: 2
e: 1.5

math is hard
No. 600799 ID: 2fba35

You do the math and realize that even without the ridiculously convoluted methods used to determine votes, pretty pretty princess (?) number A wins. You wait patiently for princess (?) A's intro illustration to become manifest and are delighted to learn that the colors are drying and will be done in couple of hours. You cast shade at the others in your vicinity who make passive aggressive comments concerning the value of learning digital art media.

While you wait, you all spit in the same hole and cast ideas about how you want this new character to be.
No. 600811 ID: 53f127

She should be paler than the moon, with eyes that shine like stars.
No. 600816 ID: dd8e0b

>you all spit in the same hole and cast ideas about how you want this new character to be
Unbelievably haughty, and very quick to resort to things that live up to her 'striker' title.

Spectral color: some kind of purple.
No. 600823 ID: d3be40


Look, we're sorry, alright? You put a lot of work and planning into each brush-painted image, we respect that. We didn't mean to insult your hand-crafted, high-quality images.

Alright, back to the new character: I would guess that character A is known for pragmatic and good with planning. She is likely one of the princesses / duchesses that roam the castles, and is the effective governor of her local fiefdom (if not the princess, then the person who does all the actual governing in that fiefdom). As for her normal mood or aura, I'm going to discard my vote on those. Not nice to judge someone you don't know.
No. 600827 ID: 53f127

She should be a major jock. Like, a total bro.
No. 600910 ID: 33ebb3
File 141555882259.png - (2.07MB , 900x1131 , character a small.png )

Hey, punk, get off that wall before you fall and kill yourself and take that ugly dog thing with you.
Your parents got around a lot as dumb kids and they did this ‘for you.’
How selfless of them.
You are vacationing at the estate of one who is related to one of your parents by marriage. Or maybe related to a parent’s mate by marriage? Or a sibling's mate? You aren’t too invested in the logistics. You might be 18th or 20th in line for the throne of Mossland. This place is called Mossland, right? Anyway, without genetic testing, you’ll never know for sure. And you don’t really care. You’re only 4th in line for the throne of A Different Kingdom.
You probably won’t get it though, since your parents dont likely want the same life for you that they had: arranged marriage after arranged marriage and a lot of math. You do understand that this is a game.
That’s no life. Too high on the tree and you’ve got unreal expectations of you. Too low and now one will care if someone assassinates you because they basically just pruned the tree back. Sometimes you think you could make your parents proud by running away to join the circus. Or a band. Or a theater troupe. Or a sports team.

> enter stage name:
> enter age: 14 ≤ age ≤ 21
> inquiries
> commands
No. 600970 ID: 53f127

Stage name: Kid Punk

Age: 19

Inquiries: How cool are you on a scale of 1-11?

Commands: tell an old man that skateboarding isn't a crime, refer to a police officer as a "pig" then do a thingie offa that nearby rail.
No. 600971 ID: 53f127

Commands: also, DON'T DO DRUGS
No. 600973 ID: dd8e0b

Stage name: Shades Coolio.

Age: 14 (you're tall for your age, okay).

Inquiries: how'd that dog get all the way up on top of the wall with you, anyways.
No. 600976 ID: 53f127

I change my vote for name to be Shades Coolio (best name) and will compromise with the age by voting for you to be 16 and 1/2
My inquiries and commands still stand.
No. 601021 ID: 33ebb3
File 141558028950.png - (1.98MB , 750x1138 , punku 1.png )

Prinshades Punkulio

Okay, mom, you promise not to do drugs.

before you get to the club.

But you’re having trouble deciding which club to go to.
-There’s on in the cave system near Tabletop rock, but you’re not sure how cool a club in a hole in the ground could be.
-Then there’s one on a steam boat on the creek a few miles away. But it’s pretty far and you might have to call someone to give you a ride.
-Same goes for the club in town. But unlike the other two clubs, all the adults know about it and kick out everyone under 21 after midnight. And everyone under 18 gets kicked out before ten. Being 16.5, this would be a total raw deal.

As for the dog, you don’t know, man. He follows you everywhere. Actually, maybe it’s a she-dog. Its one of the animals in this world that gives live birth, right? You forget which of the language’s 50-plus common-use pronouns you use for intelligent animals who have already given birth.

You’d take him- hir? IT back to the garden and tie it up, but if you do you run the risk of being caught by your guardian who's down there cutting roses. You would then have to fess up about wanting to get out of the manor tonight. You would then be asked to babysit your little sib. The bab is so young, their aura is still just stark white. You can’t take that shit anywhere. You mean, you could, but what kind of bro would you be?

>select club
>select side kick
>select shroom to try
No. 601026 ID: 53f127

Club: Go to Tabletop Mountain because you'll meet a hot girl there. It's destiny.
Sidekick: Dog. Girls love dogs.
Shroom: just say "NO" to drugs. Drugs. Aren't. Cool.
Other: Roll for wang size. We gotta know what kind of game you bring to the table.
No. 601032 ID: dd8e0b

Riverboat club. Keep the dog as a sidekick.
No. 601036 ID: 33ebb3
File 141558412247.png - (1.03MB , 900x666 , punku 2.png )

Doge 8yo Bab
No. 601055 ID: d3be40


*sigh* Prinshades Punkulio, please go to a fast-food restaurant or some other chain-restaurant. Bring the dog and the kid, buy some food, go home. You may be cool enough for the clubs, but today is too bright and sunny for anyone to be cool - too many hipsters dancing in the clubs.

Why not just hang out at a food store, buy some munchies, and play some games? You can still be cool and not go to a club today.

Also, serial killers can hide behind hordes of hipsters.
No. 601256 ID: 33ebb3
File 141564553051.png - (456.78KB , 600x528 , punku 3.png )

You shimmy down the wall and through your family’s property down to a foot trail. Nobles and highclass commoners all have vacation homes here. It’s not exactly legal, seeing how only people who can prove this is their ancestral homeland can live here, but when money makes the rules it kind of IS legal.

You turn around after a few minutes and see the dog. The method you have chosen insured you would not have your lil sib tagging along tonight, which you are glad of because you would lose a fair bit of respect for yourself if they saw you trading drugs with people. And also you would not be able to get absolutely shitfaced if you were having to look out for them. This was, of course, your parents’ plan all along.


Their backup plan was to raise you with a sense of fear of the world to keep you out of any and all trouble. You ignore the little voice in your head warning you of the dangers of clubs and the safety of PunKonalds. You can’t go to PunKonalds anymore. When the teller slides your card and sees your fancy duds, they always recognize you. Your older sibling is the mascot and poster child of PunKonalds and you look just like them when they were still cute and marketable. The store might even try to give you free food. The mayor might show up and try to give you a tour of this podunk town. All of this is the exact opposite of what you want to do, tonight. And if you brought the sib, the attention would ruin them.
No. 601258 ID: 33ebb3
File 141564568158.png - (879.22KB , 600x750 , punku 4.png )

The mountain is farther away than it looks and you’re not exactly sure where the cave club is. You close your eyes and try to ‘force’ sense if there’s anybody out there. Energy travels like sound through a long metal pole. The sound you hear on the other end is just the particles in the pole moving in a mirror of the original sound. You’re pretty good at this. And you have the numbers to back it up.

>Roll for wang size. We gotta know what kind of game you bring to the table.

>enter value = spectral color: 1 ≤ c ≤ 100, where 1=red, 50= green, 98=hot pink, >enter value = wavelength = 1 ≤ w ≤ 100,
>enter value = amplitude = 1 ≤ a ≤ 100
>enter value = largest extension from core: 1 ≤ e ≤ ∞, where 1 = just past your skin,1000 = the size of the forest.

Oh, before anyone shows up, maybe you should do something about this house broach signifying the court you belong to or what ever, unless you’re going to a costume party. Its been in the family for longer than anyone can remember.
No. 601259 ID: 53f127

>The store might even try to give you free food.

What is wrong with you? Grab your best girl and take her to Punkonalds for free food!
No. 601262 ID: 53f127

Spectral color: Neon Green
Amplitude: sixty... three?
Distance from core: 900
No. 601264 ID: 53f127

Wang size: 9"
No. 601268 ID: 7c58ae

rolled 10 = 10

Spectral color: violet. Ultraviolet. (Okay, not really, but it is a really cool violet).

Frequency: 16

Largest extension from core: 2^8

>Roll for wang size
You didn't specify what we're rolling, so I'm gonna guess d20.
No. 601271 ID: 53f127

I change my vote to violet.
No. 601296 ID: 33ebb3
File 141565421960.png - (1.63MB , 900x900 , punku 5.png )

>Punku: have flashback

color: violent violet
wavelength: missing data
amplitude: 63
extension: holy shit like literally are you jesus wow step back goddamn my eyes

You have the chipacity of a man many times your age and training level. You HAVE had training and it has strengthened your abilities, but you have to admit, most of it is in-born talent. When the technician came to your school to test everyone and you were sitting in the little chair next to his machine, he left the room. You sat there for twenty minutes before the dean and head of your school sectional came in and escorted you out of the building.

You’re a freak, Prinsahdes. As much a freak as those who are descendants of the calamity that was The Great Octopode War, in which the warriors of old must have got their freak on with the b’tentacled beasts who threatened your people’s freedom. But at least you don’t erect tendrils of meat schlong from your body when aroused. If you did, you would probably wind up in one of those special ‘group homes’ they tend to stuff those body-horror abominations in.

Okay, you’re not that much of a freak. You’re just a fucking prince. Almost everyone in the world’s prince.

You consider letting everyone in this forrest know you’re here and gaining instant fake friends with free food. But the whole point of this vacay is to get away from the notoriety for a while. ?

Oh shit. You sense him. That fucking green-auraed bastard who keeps trying to force their resting projection color all the way around into hot pink: the most emo of all colors. Ain’t no one deserves to be THAT emo. He thinks he’s being sly, just outside your family’s estate. He thinks he’s hot shit. God, you hate this guy.
No. 601297 ID: 88960e

Don't bother with fake friends. But do go deal with the poser outside your house. Catch em by surprise!
No. 601304 ID: 53f127

Ice that fool.
No. 601352 ID: d3be40


Your school expelled you for having Octopode ancestors? That seems hypocritical, considering the following logic:

1. You are a prince. They can expel you by right of birth? Wait, even if the school is under the jurisdiction of a higher-ranked royalty than you, doesn't being rejected by birthright, despite being royalty, contradict the concept of divine right?
2. According to the tests, you have both royalty and Octopode ancestors. So, one of your ancestors was part Octopode? Doesn't that mean they would have been tested and disgraced before you? Why did your parents not know about this?! Theory: the reason why the royal family has such a high aptitude in life force is because they bred with Octopodes. Wouldn't have to be consensual; war turns people into sociopaths. High and/or low functioning sociopaths. Or alternating.
3. It's possible that someone ranked higher than you on the royal family wanted you out of the way. Possibly so that you wouldn't assassinate them all awesome and stealthy-like.

As for the green-aura agent? Look, your dog is still nearby, right? Send in the dog. He's a scouter, not a warrior. Ugly-cuteness is such a low-profile appearance.
No. 601540 ID: 33ebb3
File 141573384565.png - (1.36MB , 1050x543 , punku 6.png )

All that… kind of makes sense..? Why your parents have held off on having your royal blood tested when your claim to the throne is in dispute, that uncle you’ve never met, why your older sibling died. Maybe also how adamant they are that you are not ready for sex? If you’ve ever realized these conveniently-fitting coincidences before, you must have mastered the art of pushing thoughts to the recesses of your mind. Besides, additive reasoning puts innocent men in jail. Distill the impossible to find the improbable and that will be your truth.

Anyway, you’d sooner kill yourself than be one of those barely-kento freaks in the ‘group homes.’ But not before killing this no good motherfucking trespasser, first. You mean, ‘you’re just going to talk to him.’

You’re having trouble zeroing in on the bastard. You sic your dog to- wait a minute.

Where’d the bitch go? You’d call her but she doesn't even have a name!

WAIT that was it! The pronoun for animals that have given birth is ‘bitch’! You knew you’d remember it eventually. But you can’t just call a dog ‘bitch.’

Do something
No. 601552 ID: 53f127

The dog's name is Sipowicz.
No. 601558 ID: 33ebb3

:dog f: GRAff! [[Wow! Very green stuff! Very hunger... Much same master! Where master am? What master at? More master is? Wow such hunger! Very hair on top. 9/10 would sniff twice !!!1! do? ]]
No. 601598 ID: d3be40

How about you call your ugly-cute dog

"Rip Dat Wanker"

Or Ripple for short.
No. 601665 ID: 07a835

I like this name.
No. 601704 ID: 7c58ae

Sniff it! Lick it! Then give a happy bark.
No. 601752 ID: 033d3f

:dog f: SNRAAaagh ,, .! [[what this? THIS? NOM? MUCH HAPPY NOM! how much nom? nom much this: NOM . NOm . NnOM. NNom . NOMm . NOM?. how nom first nom?!?]]

pick nom:
>cookies; ppl fude wow rare
>mushrooms;:food by virtue of nomable
>dead shrew [ um more like dead Fewd
>gum { um more like num?¿
>berries, ,, frurt, the smallish one kinds
>dicbut plush? smell much good like new friend smell
> you can't not nom u r a dog
No. 601768 ID: eaa962

Nom ded shrew!
No. 601780 ID: 434ecb

:dog f: gob gob gob snarf [[objective complete! good dog! small noise detect!? find noise!]]

:striker f: ...
No. 601791 ID: 434ecb
File 141582713774.png - (1.93MB , 900x966 , punku 7.png )

:punku f: “Shippo. Rococo. Roller. Holler. Rippley. Rippo. Ripper. Jack. Ghosty.”

You half-heartedly utter random-

:punku f: “Random”

-nonsense syllables into the woods, hoping your dog will respond to some of them and actually do what you tell them to, for once. Just then, you hear a cry from over your shoulder and turn to see the pure-bred turd bounding towards you from out of no where. Where was xi just now??
No. 601792 ID: 434ecb
File 141582730337.png - (1.75MB , 900x946 , punku 8.png )

What’s got him all shaken up?
No. 601793 ID: 28a643

Dog: >Introduce new friend to masterfriend!
No. 601799 ID: 86af24
File 141583405190.png - (1.83MB , 900x947 , punku 9.png )

Oh, of course. The squatter you’ve been tracking is terribly violent (and hungry) and launches out of a part in the trees on the outcropping above you like a rabid panther swinging a purple blade, like ya do. The sweet young thang seems to have taken issue with the dog. You may have bitten off more than you can chew, here.
No. 601826 ID: d3be40


If you have any snacks, THROW THEM!

Use persuasion while screaming about how you have a stash of food! Do NOT explain how rich you are, that might just make her HUNGRIER!

Keep running, find the nearest civilized house, and scream at the top of your lungs while attempting to get inside!
No. 602033 ID: 6debc2

Use substitution so she only ends up attacking a log with a single leaf on it.
No. 602045 ID: 28a643

Flee! Try to negotiate while running away
No. 602057 ID: 7c58ae

Huh. Are you armed? If not, you have a problem, because that person is attacking you with weapons.

Meaning you need a means to fight back or flee. Unless you can dodge swords, or you can do something cool with your freaky octopus aura powers, I think that means you need to beat an undignified retreat.
No. 602086 ID: 86af24
File 141591605042.png - (1.62MB , 900x833 , punku 10.png )

A true Prince never runs.

Orange Aura Fox Spirit Child, or as it was dubbed in your country, Naranjato, is not only based off a real religious sect, but the person that religion is based off of is your instructor. The manga is in its 21st year of syndication.

You ready a wave of freaky octopodal energy to knock the air out of your dog’s assailant- actually it looks like maybe they want to slice you in half, now.

WAIT A minute wait a MINUTE now, you are NOT an octopus, who’s the no-talent friend been drawing conclusions-
No. 602087 ID: 86af24
File 141591619161.png - (1.64MB , 900x884 , punku 11.png )

Your split second of self-doubt caused enough hesitation that the hachetman was able to thwart your attack, slicing it with their blade just like your instructor knows how to do: looks like they’re not as aurignorant as you thought..

Ah, but you managed to daze them a bit and they miss your shoulder by a millisecond. Looks like they meant to chop your broach in half or something.
No. 602100 ID: 50b8a5

Axe kick!
No. 602113 ID: 07a835

Call them an emo fag. Hot pink auras are for emo fags.

Also draw your weapon- you have one, right?
No. 602142 ID: d3be40

You and your dog may die if you don't just run to your house, which is within running distance.

Right now, please run away. If you kill her, it might give the neighborhood an excuse to go all witch-hunter on your mad skills and have you arrested for killing someone with Octopode powers. Your little sibling could be ruined for life if they are associated with a wizard who uses Octopode powers, royal status be damned.


And does she deserve to die?
No. 602181 ID: 53f127

Take off your shades and bat your eyes like the bishie god you are. She'll realize she loves you and stop attacking.
Also kick sand in her face or something.
No. 602185 ID: 2eb216

Forget all this octopode nonsense and fight to the death.
No. 602286 ID: a7efea

This is why you never underestimate your opponent. Always assume they're at least competent, then you can be pleasantly surprised when they aren't. If you assume they're not, you're going to have to deal with unpleasant surprises instead.

>what do
Head slam right into the other person. You have shades, they don't. Your face is armed, theirs isn't.
No. 602303 ID: 86af24
File 141599736187.png - (1.68MB , 900x822 , punku 12.png )

Logically, you know you should run, but every instinct is telling you to fight back and struggle against her (your instincts are also telling you to call her ‘her.’) It is against your people’s nature to turn tail and run, particularly because the tail is so easy to grab. Some people are born predisposed to grow self-honing, razor-like edges to their tail scales which might discourage a predator. But you were not one of these people.

You came down this path with a buddy to watch your back, but you were not armed. Your body(‘s life energy potential) is supposed to be your weapon. But this dirty hobo is a lot faster and maybe even stronger than you, despite her obvious lost-ten-pounds-in-the-past-month look. You notice she is not wearing shoes. Maybe you caught her unawares and she didn’t have time to slip them on.

You ready another blast of the purple stuff and prepare to put some distance between you and her, but before you can unleash it or take a step back, she hooks the blade’s curve around you. Not like you could run very good, anyway, with this dumb dog between your ankles. You are screwed.

Select character:
>Prinshades Lollerblades Julio Punkulio of the House of the Flying
>Princess Glimmerstrike Dicbut III of the House of the Star
>Rip dat Wanker / Ripple / Yolo the Dog
>Hey what about those other guys from before? They looked cool.
No. 602304 ID: 50b8a5

Be Glimmerstrike again. Exchange your captive's life for sexual favors.
No. 602305 ID: 07a835

No. 602306 ID: 86af24
File 141599874165.png - (294.51KB , 600x241 , character select.png )

There are still four more unexplored branches of this ridiculous tirade on gender and social class! One notices that choices 'c' and 'd' are now linked. What could that entail?

One could also chose to be the dog and grow a pair. Being a pure bred show dog, though, this would give the dog two pairs. Except that it is probably not an earth dog and 'a pair' basically means nothing.
No. 602326 ID: a19cd5

I pick crazy science lady lookin chick! (third from the left!)
No. 602328 ID: 88960e

I'm fine going C only so long as we're going back in time a bit or something. Otherwise I definitely want to stay with Glimmerstike. We aren't missing our first fight!
No. 602336 ID: a08ba8

voting the same as this guy.
C if rewind happens, but if not, Glimmerstrike for fighting action!
No. 602345 ID: 53f127

I vote Glimmerstrike. Spare him!
No. 602400 ID: d3be40

I still partition my votes into equal sizes and distribute them to each character who is NOT royalty.
No. 602464 ID: 86af24
File 141607937073.png - (1.59MB , 900x893 , striker 10.png )

>Be in the past
>Be striker

:dogf: gom gom crack glum [[objective complete! good dog! small noise detect!? find noise origin!]]

:dogf: !!? [[noise is-]]
No. 602466 ID: 86af24
File 141607945796.png - (1.64MB , 900x838 , striker 11.png )

:strikerf: ...

:dogf: [[wow! eyeballs!]]
No. 602477 ID: d3be40

Remember: the ugly puppy has eaten your rats. The ugly puppy is fed. The ugly puppy is not starving and desperate because it just ate.

Stand up, feed the dog more rats, and try to pet the dog.

No. 602485 ID: 50b8a5

pet the dog!
No. 602494 ID: a7efea

Jump up and slobber all over her!

Possibly drop the rat on her in your excitement.
No. 602501 ID: 53f127

Pet the doggy!
No. 602572 ID: 13c4a5

so good, much doge.
No. 602871 ID: e3ac67
File 141616738960.png - (1.90MB , 900x972 , striker 12.png )

You weren't scared. You were just appalled that some kind of catpig ate your only meat for a minute there. But it seems more shrews were drawn in by the same scent and promise of food as the catpig. And also maybe your body heat? Whatever you can get more, you guess. Still can't cook them though, so why bother. It’s also a good thing the catpig woke you up when it did. Shrews are ravenous and occasionally hunt in packs. After the devoured the rest of your food reserves, they might have come after you. It also seems you overslept, too. Seems you owe the dog a favor. Wait, is it a dog?
No. 602878 ID: e3ac67
File 141616902590.png - (1.90MB , 900x994 , striker 13.png )


You bend down to give the catpig a hearty belly rub, since it is so adamant that you are friends, now, and you aren’t hungry enough to waste the meat of something that is probably someone’s pet. But just as you're about to inspect it to see if it’s given birth before or not and determine the proper pronoun to use, you sense some residual energy from some other entity piping off it: probably the thing’s master(s). You perk your astral ear. It sounds like the same energy that drew you to this place. It may be the royal family of the estate hidden around here. You won't be able to take them all at once, so you better wait till one separates from the group. It is weird how they all sound like they have the same energy pattern and like they are all bundled up in one group like fags for the fire.

You listen more carefully. Wait, wait. If you focus, you can almost hear the broadcasters’ thoughts. . .
No. 602882 ID: e3ac67
File 141616972733.png - (1.84MB , 900x942 , striker 14.png )

You sense emotions so strong they can be articulated into spoken word. Who ever it is already knows you’re here and is highly intent on kicking your ass to within an inch of your life and maybe finishing you off.

For some reason, you feel a sense of betrayal, as though these dirty names were spoken by people about YOU behind your back and as though those people were previously your allies..

The dog knows too much. You brandish a hatchet..
No. 602891 ID: a7efea

Wait, are those emotions directed at you? That sounds more like someone who's already found an intruder, than someone coming to get one.

Also, killing their pet would probably just enrage them further. ...it might have use as a hostage, though?
No. 602893 ID: 07a835

Shades on, blades out, time to aggro.
No. 602908 ID: 3009b4

You're probably being manipulated, and I would hold off on that hatchet.
No. 602914 ID: d3be40

"WE'RE SORRY, OKAY?!" Say the voices in your head. "But we needed to redirect the flow of your enemies' minds without them realizing that they were being slowly manipulated!"

In all honesty though, you can't keep denying what YOU think of yourself - you need to improve who you are and express what you do instead of constantly accusing others of labeling who you aren't. Even if they are just voices in your head. Which they may not be, considering the strange coincidences around you.
No. 603010 ID: 53f127

Defeat your enemy... with LOVE.
Jump out of the trees at him while swinging your axes. Try to destroy his amulet if he has one.
No. 603347 ID: e3ac67
File 141628646697.png - (1.88MB , 900x960 , striker 15.png )

The voices (the ones not arguing with your physical perceptions of actual reality) are right. You just have to believe in yourself!

You hadn’t decided what to do with the dog yet, but when it sees the look in your eyes turn, it high tails it out of your camp with its tail between its legs, like the noob it is.
No. 603348 ID: e3ac67
File 141628678467.png - (2.04MB , 900x980 , striker 16.png )

As it scurries out through the underbrush to the open path below your camp, it noisily leads you right to one of the members of the party you felt. Probably out here taking a picnic in the balmy evening* when they caught scent of your low-status presence and took issue.

You don’t see any sign of his family, but you do catch the glint of his house broach. Its unclear if he’s a prince or a princess, but he seems to be unarmed, despite his obvious intent to harm you. He’s probably a princess come to usurp you. Ha. He has underestimated his rivals.

The brachycephalic quadruped further confounds its master and unwittingly distracts him for you. Good dog. Best friend.

*Kentropans are crepuscular
No. 603351 ID: e3ac67
File 141628697095.png - (1.75MB , 900x884 , striker 17.png )

You launch out over the ledge through the trees before he can spot you, aiming for the broach. Some people use a special ancient hand-me-down to help focus their life force hoo doo. Breaking it would perhaps hinder his abilities - hold up. ALL that fuggin, like, orgone was coming from just this one guy?! Dang, maybe you should have taken the time to put your shoes back on.

You may be in over your head.
No. 603479 ID: d3be40

Look at his face. He's scared. You look like a crazed hillbilly with a hatchet and hunger for orgone-smelling meat.

Do you know if he's a prince or not? Does HE?

Knock him out while he's paralyzed with indecision and/or fear. If you kill him on a whim, others will be less likely to join your ambitious cause.

If he runs, you have been spotted. Chasing him into civilization is a horrible idea - they will arrest you for trespassing into a city with intent to do lasting harm and/or homicide.
No. 603482 ID: a7efea

>Dang, maybe you should have taken the time to put your shoes back on.
You've gone into battle without shoes? You fool, now your traction is going to be all messed up and foot stomping attacks will be super effective against you.

Go put them on this instant.
No. 603490 ID: 330ce5

If some object help channel power wouldn't breaking it cause him to loose control and unleash some serious power?
No. 603523 ID: 3935c7

Interrogate him!
No. 603567 ID: e3ac67
File 141635901314.png - (1.78MB , 900x912 , striker 18.png )

He didn't look too scared before , but he does, now.

A bunch of stuff happens in the span of one or two seconds and next thing you know the goober flopps over backwards onto your blade. You had intended to slice him in half until you started to have doubts concerning the validity of this target. You’re not sure if he intentionally fell down to keep you from building the momentum needed to chop his spinal cord like celery or if he just tripped over the dog while trying to run away from you. Now what?
No. 603568 ID: e3ac67
File 141635940722.png - (1.91MB , 900x930 , striker 19.png )

Oh yeah, interrogate him! Try not to get attached as you grind you stocking’d heel into his lower reproductive facilitators. He spits through his teeth as his glasses slide out of place. Gross, you can kind of see his eyeballs.

:punkuf: You’re not going to make me beg, trash!

Woah, hold up. What even is that accent??
No. 603575 ID: fa61ce

Become the seductive femme fatale, lacing your threats with a sensual undercurrent to put him off!
No. 603580 ID: 07a835

Standard interrogation. Who is he, what's he doing in the forest, WHO DOES HE WORK FOR?!
No. 603586 ID: fa61ce

No. 603588 ID: 53f127

I take it eyes are privates in this culture? Anyway, ask him if you can crash at his place for a while.
No. 603593 ID: 8f8ce5

You're not TRULY from around here are you, 'your highness' I'm here for one reason and I think you can guess what that reason is. You found me first though, I don't like that, BUT, gotta love the numbers game, maybe you're gonna be lucky today.
So what's your number...And is it lucky?
No. 603671 ID: d3be40

1. Knock him unconscious.

2. Tie him up.

3. Use your aura to force sense his brain.

No. 603732 ID: e3ac67
File 141643016774.png - (1.82MB , 900x958 , striker 20.png )

"Well, 'your highness.'"

You take his unfamiliar broach up in one hand, stretching the delicate spider wool of his shirt.

"I'm here for one reason and one reason only and I think you can guess what that reason is. You found me out first, though, and I think we know your reasons are the same as mine. Gotta love that numbers game~!
So, what's your number… punk?"
No. 603738 ID: e3ac67
File 141643034574.png - (1.77MB , 900x916 , striker 21.png )

No. 603746 ID: e3ac67
File 141643430250.png - (911.78KB , 630x700 , striker 22.png )

:punkuf: "…
oh my god you’re retarded."

There is a lilt of exasperation to his cry of hopelessness.

Ugh, another name to add to the list of insults.
:strikerf: “Fuck yourself and tell me where in line you are for the throne!”

:punkuf: “The throne?”

:strikerf: “YES? Prince or Princess!"

He seems confused.

He starts to speak. Starts over again.

:punkuf: “For Mossland I’m, like, 20th in line-”

Triumph! You stopped a princessassin (value= 20th) from prince-assassinating you (value=15th) ! Congrats! Level up screen activ-

:punkuf: “But I’m 4th in line for Ramshead.”

He looks as though he’s just figured out what’s going on and is not amused. He is indeed your princess, here in Mossland. But in Ramshead, he is your prince AND BUT TOO ALSO AND is ineligible for usurpation by the means you have instated. Also he has no reason to want to usurp you when he is basically already a crown prince to a neighboring kingdom. Also if you had killed him, it might have started a war between the two rival nations.

OOOOOoooh.. Now you fucked up. Now, you fucked up. Now, you fucked up. You have fucked up, now. Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. Now you fucked up. Now, you have fucked up.
No. 603747 ID: b05d1a

Make it up to him w/sexytime.
No. 603752 ID: 07a835

Fuck. Um, like, smooth out his hair and put his garments back in order?

Then pout and tell him you're not an emo poser.
No. 603754 ID: 8f8ce5

"Urgh. And suddenly that numbers game becomes much less fun."
Back off, let him up/assist him if he doesn't mind overmuch, make any formal apologies that can be made and get going.
No. 603756 ID: 88960e

Right. So... Then it's in my best interest not to murder you, and it's in your best interest to agree to let this go so I don't have to murder you, right?
No. 603887 ID: 6b7f5f

We need to trick him into being our ally. Pretend to fawn over his amazing sunglasses.
No. 603890 ID: d3be40

Okay... yeah. Um. Well. You.

Look, can you just call princes "bastards" and princesses "bitches"? If you're going to insult other royalty, you may as well drop all pretense of society while you're pinning down an enemy prince with two hatchets and your knee.

First thing on your agenda:
"What's with your fucked-up aura?"

Might explain what a high-ranked prince from Ramshead is doing in the middle of Nowhere, Mossland. Think about it: he's fourth in line for Ramshead. Where's his squad of personal bodyguards? Where's his backup crew of hipsters and groupie girls? Maybe he's dishonored, and you can do whatever you want with him.

You may not want to kill him. Having an ally royalty aiming for a different throne may be a great idea. You can cross-reference intel from two different countries and fuck around in the ambassador offices.
No. 603968 ID: e3ac67
File 141651663550.png - (1.57MB , 831x900 , striker 23.png )

:strikerf: “RRrriiiight.”
You fear grin majestically as you dislodge your knee from his squish bits. As you untangle your hand from his hair you attempt to straighten it, but it seems he put some kind of product in it and it’s basically screwed for the day. You notice he really is alone (save for the dog who has returned to his flank), or someone would have heard the struggle.
:strikerf: “Um, um, well- where’s your, like, entourage?”

:punkuf: “Entourage? Oh. I’m incognito.”

:strikerf: “Uhh.. Okay. Wow. But like, why’d you want to kill me? YOU don’t belong here, either, Prince- ?”

:punkuf: “Shades. Prinshades…”

:strikerf: “Well, look, um, about all this, haha, is there anything I can do to make it up to you,” you say politely, not actually meaning it and hoping he’ll forget the whole silly thing.
No. 603969 ID: e3ac67
File 141651672054.png - (1.54MB , 837x900 , striker 24.png )

“I want you to take me to the hospital.”
Looks like what ever plans he had for this evening are ruined.
No. 603970 ID: 07a835

Welp. Time to move. You fucked up, better try to fix things.
No. 603976 ID: 2c8782

Save him! Take him to the nearest medical center, and make up a story along the way.
No. 603980 ID: d3be40

Okay, he's a high-ranked prince from a different country. That means people in the local town are (a) unlikely to know who he is or (b) like having him as a celebrity. Get him to the hospital but be ready to break off and let him do the rest of the walking if you are spotted, or cannot keep a low profile.

Discuss details of your new "alliance" on the way. The fact that you can kill him at any time before you get to civilization should hold an advantage in intimidation.

1. "What is with that fucked up aura of yours? I got this sense of 'betrayal'. Like super-fucked-up betrayal; the kind where the voices in your head start broadcasting how much they hate you on someone else's aura. Seriously, are all Ramshead royals this fucked up?"
-> You can say this because right now, if he insults you, he knows you could just impulsively murder him and his ugly-cute dog. He'll likely explain what is up with his aura. Respond politely and curiously.
2. "So, do you live here or something?"
-> This is a VERY important question. What is Prinshades doing all the way here in Fucked Up Forest, Mossland? If he has a minor fortress or summer home in the local city, it means he has some influence over its people. Even if that influence is being a [REDACTED].
3. "So, here I am, saving your life after dealing a life-threatening wound, dragging you back to civilization, where they could have me arrested for assault, attempted murder, and regicide. Whereas you could do the same and be promoted as a hero and a role model for kids everywhere. But that's politics, right? Actually, that's pretty much the world in a nutshell."
-> Make a joke of your current situation. You fucked up, but you didn't mean to fuck up. Help him realize that your impulse was based on cultural values and personal ambition, and not some lack of self-control.
4. "So, could I crash in your backyard or something?"
-> You need a place to stay. But you know you need better survival skills. If you ally with Prinshades, you can hone your skills in the local woods, with a contact to give you supplies and shelter when necessary. He needs bodyguards, you need supplies. If you're both planning on killing your way to the top, it's not insane to collaborate to the end if you can both reach your mutually beneficial goals at the same time.
5. "Cute dog. So, where did you find him?"
-> You may as well ask about the dog, direct the conversation away from all the seriousness after the top 4 points have been discussed.
No. 603985 ID: e3ac67
File 141652337478.png - (91.36KB , 204x196 , striker first aid.png )

>ask about his aura

Don’t you think it would be inappropriate to ask him why his dick is so big, right now? You know that’s what that is, right? You fuck with it. It’s big because bitches need the D. Mystery solved. Any animal with a twenty foot long venomous spike for a dick would evolve to also use it as a weapon and a nest for its young, to boot, case closed.

Looks like he’s passing out. Maybe you could just leave him here, in the ditch on the side of the road, and hope someone else will come by and pick him up. He might bleed out by then but at least there will be no witnesses. He’s kind of fat. You know you can’t carry him to the nearest hospital in time and you don’t even know where one is.

Or! Maybe he has interest in usurping the throne with you. You could perhaps work your way up to 4th in line and be even with him and- well, then who knows! He could be a powerful ally, if he ever gets his dick to work again!

>>600464 <<<<<<<<<<
No. 604015 ID: 53f127

You broke his dick? You monster!
Heal him with your medkit.
No. 604074 ID: eda819

>if he ever gets his dick to work again
Are dicks really that important?
No. 604079 ID: 07a835

No. 604092 ID: a85bd2

nah, that's what tongues are for. dicks are like christmas ornaments. nice when they're there, but it's the tree that matters.
No. 604206 ID: d3be40



*GROAN* Once again, question 1: "Why is your *Life Force* so fucked up?"
No. 604223 ID: 07a835

Their race reproduces via their auras. So it's the same thing, actually.
No. 604437 ID: 9242de

Pretend that you were actually saving his life from an unseen foe, quickly drag him out of there to the nearest hospital and trick him into feeling gratitude towards you so he'll be your ally.
No. 604746 ID: 6d4898
File 141678240405.png - (1.27MB , 777x800 , striker 25.png )

He’s too heavy and its too far to carry him into town and you don’t know if there’s any doctors around or where they are and the powers that be have not deemed you deserving of a magical ride to take you anywhere, so you start to drag the fat lazy prince back to your hideout to patch him up. It is then and only then that his hitherto wimp of a dog starts half-heartedly trying to defend him by at least barking at you.

He’s either passing out from blood loss and shock or from unleashing so much energy at you at once. You’re feeling a little floppy headed from the blow he glanced off you. You wonder if his name is Glance. As you drag him around by the arm pits, you can’t help but notice that he’s still got plenty of juice left.
No. 604747 ID: 6d4898
File 141678263901.png - (1.54MB , 800x788 , striker 26.png )

No. 604748 ID: 6d4898
File 141678275271.png - (1.28MB , 776x800 , striker 27.png )

The dog was trying to kiss its master's wound shut, like ya do, right before this happened. You hope there will be no cross contamination and that you don't turn into a vampire prince.
No. 604753 ID: 6d4898
File 141678308570.png - (1.24MB , 723x800 , striker 28.png )

You fall the fuck down all over your victim and the dog tries to drag you away a bit before letting go. It returns to bark in your ear in a threat display. Though its teeth were blunt, its jaws were powerful. This must be how it was able to straight up munch on that shrew from earlier. Gross, you gut dead shrew particles in your blood stream too, probably.

No. 604755 ID: 07a835

Alright new plan. Leave him here, go get the medkit and bring it here to treat the both of you.
No. 604756 ID: d3be40

Can we switch over to the dog now?
No. 604799 ID: 6d4898
File 141679957575.png - (1.14MB , 900x631 , dresses.png )

>go get the medikit and bring it back

Oh duh, why didn’t you think of that! This isn’t even a REAL road. You doubt he could get run over, even in this dwindling light. And if he does? Hopefully they’ll never find you.

Unfortunately, you can’t be the dog. You can, however, tell someone you haven’t even met which outfit you think is the best. That should distract you from having to think about the task of sewing this guy up like a potatosack doll.
No. 604814 ID: 589d72

well i like the dragons in the margin but i think you want us to tell you which clothes we like. in which case, i like A
No. 604817 ID: 74b1ed

No. 604826 ID: 6d4898
File 141680221512.png - (1.14MB , 900x631 , dresses.png )

wait i got lazy and messed up

Suddenly, are not from the green seas and marshes of Mossland. Nor do you hail from the dry and tall plains and rocks of Ramshead. The village you live in is a very important village in that it houses a very important clan. One of 789 official clans, to be specific and proper. And those clans have faced much more strife in recent years than many other places in this world. Almost all of it internally propagated. Almost.

And as an indirect result, you could only pick five of your favorite outfits to bring with you on this journey.

Please list the five outfits in order of FAVORITE TO LEAST FAVORITE, making notes on why they trumped the competition.
No. 604860 ID: eb2c25

H is our favorite outfit for warring and other martial pursuits. It's also cool-looking.

A is our favorite formal wear outfit. Being for formal occasions, it is less preferred than the warring outfit that is H.

E is our favorite casual wear outfit. Although only third favorite, it is the strongest canidate for our 'default' outfit. If only because one can only partake of combat and special occasions for so long.

B is the fourth favorite-it's basically for wooing/attracting others since we apparently look very pretty in it. nevermind that the outfit clashes with our aura color.

L is the least favorite. We were in a hurry and was preoccupied when we took it.
No. 605011 ID: 4cd284

Let's go E. If not, A.
No. 605013 ID: 4cd284

Then N, K, I
No. 605070 ID: 6d4898
File 141687116774.png - (1.60MB , 837x900 , striker 29.png )

No. 605080 ID: 6d4898
File 141687193050.png - (1.76MB , 868x900 , striker 30.png )

You finish the Glancing Prince’s stitches just as you loose the last of the light. You had to snag some of your string around a tree and the dog in order to get to the prince and even then you felt the need to have him blind fold the animal with your ruined sock to shut it up. Blind fold dog, snag dog, tie to tree. These were the actions you should have taken, probably.

You then discovered you only had enough stitches string and gauze for one person. So you gave the other prince the stitches and yourself the gauze. You two really need a hospital, or at least a well stocked private doctor’s office. After you fed him all your sugar disks and dandy linons, he insisted on ingesting your suspicious mushrooms. Raw! He then passed out 100%, but not before you had him use what was left of his purple magic to dragon-orb-z you up some fire. You never even got the chance to ask him his name. You didn’t think of making small talk while using your filthy hands to poke holes in his back skin.
It is now totally dark out. You don’t know what to do.

Find where the prince came from and get help before infection sets in in your dog bite? Or just go to sleep after eating some roast shrew. You are too tired to freak out but you want to freak out and are too damn antsy.
No. 605095 ID: 07a835

He's stable, you aren't. Go.
No. 605104 ID: 4cd284

Go get help! Bring doge with you!
No. 605301 ID: 3009b4

I know the dog is as ugly as hell but he's so ugly he's kinda cute.
No. 605314 ID: d3be40

You didn't chop off his tail, did you?

Get him to a hospital. The longer an infection exists, the more fucked Prinshades is. You can recover from a few sleepless nights, but Prinshades might not forgive you if his butt has to be amputated.

After all, if the past four hours are any indication, not many people hunt in the forest. There aren't even that many animals! Just freaking shrew colonies. Risk getting ambushed and get Prinshades medical help before his tail has to be amputated and/or discarded and he rejects any possible alliance.
No. 605460 ID: 6d4898
File 141695027201.png - (1.51MB , 853x900 , striker 31.png )

>Bring dodge

You know, Ripple, this isn't what Striker wanted to be doing today, either. Why don't you help her find the way back to whence you came, you idiot. Ah, I see, a passive aggressive form of revenge in which you force her to struggle just that much harder with the wound you yourself inflicted on her. She could not even get her shoe back on, you bitch. That's right, just keep strangling yourself like that. That helps EVERYONE.
No. 605461 ID: 6d4898
File 141695054135.png - (1.89MB , 895x900 , striker 32.png )

>Not many people hunt in the forest. There aren't even that many animals! Just freaking shrew colonies.

Shrew colonies are no laughing matter, umkay? Unlike most animals, they are almost always constantly alert and awake in order to satiate their bottomless appetites. True, though, that the forest seems to be picked clean save for the carnivorous, spindly ratlike creatures. Huh. Guess the Hunting Class swept through here. Or maybe the animals can sense you are an apex predator.

Ripple, tell us if there’s any big animals ok good thanks
No. 605464 ID: 6d4898
File 141695120762.png - (1.76MB , 872x900 , striker 33.png )

You found it, Dickass.
Sorry, ‘Dumbass’.

This must be the place. They don’t seem to have risen any kind of alarm. Perhaps they are not missing their Prince, yet. The wall goes all the way around and out of sight and seems to be ten or fifteen feet tall. There’s a well lit path leading to a wooden gate. Usually these kinds of places have a second smaller gate near the larger one for maintenance staff.

Didn’t Glances say something about being in line for the same throne as you? It’s possible some of your closer relatives are in here. You can see cottages inside the centuries-old wall, dwarfed by that garrish new development to the right. You are judging them. You’re all turned around and can’t see Table Rock from here?? The estate must cover several acres.
No. 605476 ID: d3be40

Almost all life is capable of rage, cowardice, and deceit. So before you try to increase your reputation as a usurper by protecting the forests, please remember that male lions usurp other lion tribes by murdering the leaders and killing their cubs, maggots and other parasites swarm in all kinds of animals and infest other animals as they are eaten (in organ biology, weak eats you), and life itself constantly mates and dies because the cycle lengthens the existence of the genes instead of the individuals. Still, there's a hidden cost in cutting up forests and constructing slaughterhouses; pollution, migration patterns, land quality over time. Maybe the world is cruel and by burning down a forest full of rabid killer machines, you're just incurring a debt of cruelty on the local peoples?
But that's for later.

Right now, the kid's bleeding out. You need to get him to a hospital as soon as possible. If these people know him, then they'll be angry about seeing their celebrity chopped up and in critical condition. However, they'll also realize that if you know him, you wouldn't be stupid enough to just go through the front gates with him as a hostage after trying to murder him.

Find a guard, tell him that you accidentally hurt the prince while you were hunting down some food, and that he'll vouch for you if you can save his life right now. If they get suspicious, try to wake up the kid so that he can explain that he needs help. If they don't know who he is or if he isn't really a prince, then it's still their job to protect citizens (and possibly other people) and he should get medical attention.

If you sneak in and get caught, the guards are likely going to think that you performed an assassination for someone else and were carrying him back to his house to loot his stuff and obfuscate the assassination. This is a VERY bad idea and it won't get you directions to the nearest doctor.
No. 605708 ID: 311774

Do you know anything about this place? Are they gonna get all pissy at you for roughing that guy up?
Because that would prooobably be bad.

Come to think of it, do you have any money, or is this a bartering economy? And if the latter, do we have anything that would work well for bartering for medicine and all that jazz?
No. 605958 ID: 9b57d3

Did you mean dicbut

Just walk up and tell a guard that you totally accidentally hurt the prince so they should probably send someone down the road to collect him and get him some better medical attention, and you need some medical attention yourself.
No. 606405 ID: 6d4898
File 141723717326.png - (1.33MB , 649x900 , striker 34.png )

You were going to throw a rock somewhere further along the wall these rent-a-cops are patrolling to send them looking for the origin of the small noise... But the guards seem to have distracted themselves. You’re a little disappointed, both in that you didn’t get to outsmart them and the fact that they are being so unprofessional. They are still armed, however. Wow the short one’s got disproportionately large feet.

>Just walk up and tell a guard that you totally accidentally hurt the prince
Wait, there’s no reason to be scared of them. It was an accident! (No it wasn’t)
And you’re a Nobel in this land! It might be pretty funny to see their reactions with you catch them mackin on each other while on duty.

As you come nearer, you overhear them murmuring about how much easier this job is when little boy blue’s not around.
Well, well, well. The extent of their dereliction is down right deplorable.

Status of dog: hesitant
No. 606406 ID: 53f127

Just sneak past them then and roll the Prince down the hill to the emergency room.
No. 606409 ID: db5034

Tell the guards about Prinshades. We must save the coolkid!
No. 606411 ID: 9b57d3

By prince, do you mean the dog? Because we do not have the prince with us.

It totally was an accident though. He fell backwards onto your sword, and you didn't even realize you had cut him until the dog showed up with that bloody mouth. Don't uh, tell them that story though. Just say you met, got to know eachother a bit, and were sparring with him when the accident happened.
No. 606413 ID: db83ac


Tell them you were hunting and accidentally injured a prince. A REALLY high ranking prince. For a FOREIGN KINGDOM (specifically, fourth in line to Ramshead, perhaps they know him?). You both need medical attention right now. If they accuse you of assault and react by declaring your life forfeit, tell them that you're 15th in line (for Mossland) and that THEY don't have any excuse for regicide.

If they ask, tell them that the prince has a strangely wonky life force (WILL YOU TWO GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE @#$%ING GUTTERS?!) and you attacked him, thinking that HE was stalking and hunting YOU for sport. If they get suspicious, just yell at them that they can sort this out over at the nearest hospital or clinic and that THEY REALLY SHOULD BE DOING THEIR JOBS RIGHT NOW! PRINCE IN DANGER, START GUARDING OR TURN IN YOUR BADGES!!!
No. 606947 ID: 53f127

This is a good approach. Catch them "off guard" so to speak by approaching them and telling them authoritatively "You idiots! While you were canoodling, someone attacked the Prince! Go help him!"
Make sure you don't have incriminating stuff with you first tho.
No. 607081 ID: 6d4898
File 141738787931.png - (1.31MB , 1000x576 , striker 35.png )

>roll the prince dog down the hill

Actually, the dog gets away from you and rolls down hill directly to the guards, entangling itself in the thin string leash you were dragging it by before. They begin to draw their weapons because of the unfamiliar roukous.
No. 607082 ID: 6d4898
File 141738802493.png - (1.73MB , 900x889 , striker 36.png )

Damn, it seems they know the animal. They begin to make a fuss over it, quickly noting it has blood in its fur and has somehow managed to lose the prince whose side it never leaves. The tall one takes out a knife and cuts the sensible cotton twine off the dodge.
No. 607090 ID: 6d4898
File 141738842493.png - (933.04KB , 900x481 , striker 37.png )

>Someone attacked the Prince! Go help him!

“Guards! Guards!” You point back down the path. “There’s a youth in the woods down the path, I think he’s hurt!”
They stare at you for a minute. You hope they don’t notice your obvious dog bite.

>Make sure you don't have incriminating stuff with you first tho.

They noticed.
“SO yeah, uh, maybe go check on him!...?” Avoid eyecontact. You are really bad at being dishonest.

The one with big feet gets up to apprehend you, like this is the most amusing thing that’s happened in a while. The tall one tries to settle down the dog, only a slightly bemused smirk on their face.
No. 607119 ID: d3be40

*cough* *cough* *wheeze* *cough* *cough* Man that hurt... sorry, connection issues.

Look, they're obviously not buying your story and they probably think you're trying to frame them for killing him. Show how much responsibility and reward/punishment is at stake here.

I don't like how you can use your royalty as some kind of "get out of pwnage free" card, but right now, that prince is DYING.


Bend your knees and put your hands over your head, just to claim that this is THEIR responsibility, not yours. Either they do their duty, and get rich, or they spend weeks trying to come up with excuses for failing to get the prince medical attention WHEN THEY RECOGNIZED HIS DOG BEGGING FOR HELP.
No. 607179 ID: 07a835

I think you may have to defend yourself with violence.
No. 607611 ID: 6d4898
File 141748254182.png - (1.39MB , 900x772 , punku 13.png )

Lets check up on Prinshades Glancer Lollerblades Julio Punkulio back in the woods.

You’re not sure if it is because you are higher than a hummingbird huffing helium or what, but this publication is the funniest goddamn thing you have ever read.

You think you’ve heard of this story. In your country, it is officially translated as ‘Casa Cornered’ but by word of mouth in the underground goods trades you frequent, you’ve only ever heard it called ‘Dwelling Static.’ It is one of the most heavily banned series in the world and its notoriety follows it up into space and to other worlds, too. In most countries, it is scorned for its positive portrayals of dangerous enemy aliens: your people’s hypocritical xenophobia at work. In other places, it is contrabanned on account of its inclusivity extended towards people with disabilities. And yet, to more contrarian countries, the author’s entire body of work is reviled for not not being inclusive enough.

The other book had no pictures and psychedelics are a lot more fun when you’re actually looking at visuals. It was about a young person being pit against several other young people in the woods. It was a pretty thinly veiled allusion to some adult activities, you think, what with all the attractive, able-bodied young people in sizable but manageable groups, living alone in the woods and drawing each other’s blood. Erotica. Erotica for kids who don’t know what erotica is. Pass.

Anyway, you could have never hoped to get your hands on a copy of any volume of Pad Pegged and everything Striker has done to you is forgiven if she will let you borrow this tome.
No. 607613 ID: 6d4898
File 141748276949.png - (1.59MB , 900x819 , punku 14.png )



The bitch sold you out and now your family’s rent-a-cops are here. They are surely about to verbally scold you and drag you back to the manor.
No. 607615 ID: 6d4898
File 141748292506.png - (1.57MB , 900x798 , punku 15.png )


“Ur highness, pls u r injured.”

There are four or five guards come to recover you. YOU FEEL FINE ITS JUST A FLESH WOUND YOU GOT STITCHES FROM SNITCHES IT’S FINE

This is kind of just a normal Friday night, for you. :/
No. 607623 ID: 6d4898
File 141748526101.png - (1.61MB , 900x799 , striker 38a.png )

>muffled Yackity Sax playing in the distance

Meanwhile, back at Prinshades Punkulio’s family’s estate, it seems Glimmerstrike’s quest has come to a stand-still. Your motives struck the caregivers of this estate as less-than-selfless. They were good enough to have your wounds treated and offer you some facilities to get cleaned up (under close guard), though. They then escorted you to a guest room, where it was heavily implied you should not try to open the door. The room was clearly designed for a child half your age. They took your hatchet and there are bars on the window, probably to keep would-be kidnappers out. But right now, they serve the purpose of keeping you in. You shall have an audience with the Masters of the house when they rise in the morning. This is, after all, their vacation. They might however decide to let you walk free or just call the authorities.

>Have flashback
>Be someone else
>Be someone else having a flashback, THEN be that person
No. 607624 ID: 53f127

Princeshades you need medical attention. Simmer down.
No. 607629 ID: d3be40

You have some alone time. Clear the voices out of your head and do something fun.

Like "sleep".

Be someone else plz
No. 607828 ID: 6d4898
File 141754919589.png - (1.33MB , 689x900 , new royal.png )

As one might recall, you aren’t from here. You’ve come a long way and there are many items on your itinerary for which you’ve been charged. You’ve crossed a shallow sea and a dead ocean and rode in a legless metal beast on a perfectly flat plane to get here.

You are an assassin.

Where you are from, everything is either black or white. The snow is white, the trees are black, and they grow straight up and down and have no growth rings when you cut them open. A person is either a good person or an evil person. And there’s nothing wrong with being evil. What your culture abhors is anything in the gray area. Half in shadow, semitransparent, being in jail instead of being dead. Only a real fruit tart would place opaque materials over any part of their body, especially the eyes. It is more common to wear a blindfold and pretend you can’t see through it if you don’t want your eyes to be seen.

The other travelers on this bus have been trying much too hard not to stare at you. You would gladly try to answer their questions if they just asked. Or they could try to guess your name. This is a boring bus ride.

>Answer questions
>Do something
>Arrive at destination, skip q&a
No. 607833 ID: d3be40

Okay... why not first question your sanity since you can apparently feel someone talking about you right now? Maybe someone is trying to get into your head, corrupt your mind with half-truths and half-hearted opinions.

If not, whatever. Practice using those toys that are actually portable assassin training machines. Not that they can effectively kill anyone, but they're good at keeping the mind sharp on the road.
No. 607900 ID: 53f127

Your name is Skiff Chazrock
No. 607906 ID: a19cd5

>Enter Name: Morticia Addams
No. 608038 ID: 6d4898
File 141758485427.png - (1.73MB , 900x829 , new royal 1a.png )

Five thousand years ago when your foremothers set foot on this new world, legend has it, it was agreed among all the newly burgeoning colonies that they would never allow their economies to become dependent on consumerism and over-production. Having spent One Thousand Years living in the harsh confines of space arks with no natural resources at their disposal, this was an easy promise to keep to themselves and to their children.

Besides, the planet, which to this day is called ‘Close Enough,’ ‘Good Enough,’ or ‘Practically as Good as The Real Thing,’* severely lacks in resources like heavy metal and petroleum, anyway. The level of your society’s technology is such that only these materials can be used to make ‘video games.’ Other worlds use bio-tech to manufacture them, but obtaining a personal hand-held system of that sort would pose even further difficulties. Only the highest of the high class can afford personal computers for themselves and much less their children.

[*Ken= us, our stuff we were born with, our people, my blood family,
Kentro= of ours, belongs to us all right now, the home, yours and mine, my family’s
Kentropa= Kentatopia with less letters

Kentatopia = Motherland, the legendary title of the old World, 'it was this way,' 'it was the way it was,' 'we were the way we were'

fun fact: if you conjugate ‘ken’ into the past tense, it either means ‘stuff that existed before I was born’ OR ‘I got robbed’! ]
No. 608040 ID: 6d4898
File 141758539923.png - (1.68MB , 900x884 , new royal 2.png )

P.S. you totally have one. You’re holding it right now, the hand held video game console, this is what you hold. The people on the bus can see it.

Your favorite game right now is a rom hack called ‘150 drags.’ It is based off the time-honored, ancient tradition of miniature dragon collecting. Only the richest of the rich and those willing to do whatever it takes to get even one dragon can achieve one, but the object of the hobby is to obtain many varieties.

P.S. there’s one sitting right next to you.

But the video game version is good, too. It is based off the card game which is a spin off of the comic which borrows from the novel which is an homage to a play which is derivative of a much OLDER novel which is in turn a curation of folk stories that are believed to be thousands of years old.

You have so many dragons? OK? But you could only bring one and that was only after a lot of bribing at every customs office you met.
No. 608049 ID: d3be40

I see you like to play video games despite the fact that you have better things to do. Welcome to the club.

Understandable. That game console is worth a fortune, just like your pet. Recommended action: train your dragon using the video game.

Pets can watch video games, ya know.

But in all seriousness, does that video game console have "apps"? Apps are small programs that - well, some are games and some are tools.

The public apps are "free" - free to anyone who can afford a video game system! A glorious twist of anti-consumerism! But the real deal is in finding apps that have been banned, or apps that were never introduced to the networks.

I'm sure that you have some. An app or two that was built by a guy who was a genius but stepped on too many pet dragons and was executed for his incompetence. Apps that turn your video game console into a powerful weapon, or a handy survival tool!

Well? Aren't you going to gloat over everyone around you about how many "UNIQ APPS" you have on your already-expensive video game console?
No. 608119 ID: 0de40a

Nah, you don't gloat about it. Just having it where everyone can see it is enough, To do more would be trying too hard.
Hrrrm...Here's a question: If someone got any bright ideas concerning robbing you, how would you kill them?
No. 608227 ID: 9bb161

Play your games. Accumulate more dragons. Casually display your wealth and status.
No. 608234 ID: 6d4898
File 141763871029.png - (904.13KB , 900x622 , new royal 3.png )

By the way, your name is Ahe Blink, correct?
No. 608243 ID: 0de40a


Simply because that name was concocted in a very clever way.
No. 608245 ID: 88960e

Sure, y.
No. 608253 ID: 6d4898
File 141763974634.png - (1.14MB , 624x900 , new royal 4.png )

>Apps that turn your video game console into a powerful weapon, or a handy survival tool!
>is the console magic?

Um. No?

But bro. BRO. It has like ten buttons and you gotta use ‘em ALL! You don’t know this, but it WAS designed to train soldiers enlisted into the space corps. It is the rough size, motor complexity and shape of many space ship consoles and certain kinds of high tech weaponry.

But, you don’t know that. You didn’t even know this planet had any kind of space program. You don’t even know that Kentropa is in the midst of a fifty year cold war with a far superior galactic empire. If the people of this world knew, they would all bend over, shit piss and vomit shit and piss vomit out of sheer rage, the old time blood lust they were once heir to reemerging like a shite phoenix covered in vomit and screaming about piss and probably anal prolapse for good measure.

But you don’t know anything about that! Not consciously anyway. [small][small]Subconsciously, everyone knows. You’re all kind of a hive mind on the macro level? [/small]What ever. Everyone simultaneously knows and doesn't know. Mostly they don’t know.[/small]

You get to a mini-game within the 100-drags rom hac. Your lap dragon is begging for food. It has been sniffing around for it for a while, now. You let it play bug-crush. It is displeased.
No. 608263 ID: 6d4898
File 141764008354.png - (1.11MB , 623x900 , new royal 5.png )

As you can clearly see from this illustration, you are made of knives.

Lol oh your god srsly tho, what the H is wrong with this artist oh gosh. Like should we call someone wow.

Anyway, you have:
Needles: 3
Shanks: 3
Daggers: 4
Knives: 2
Naked blades: like five?
Throwing knives: 2, but you could throw any knife you wanted

The rest is in storage.
No. 608294 ID: d3be40

Keep tinkering with your game console. Explore different functions and learn how it works. You might be able to do even better at your games, without cheating even!

Does this bus have food? Call for some service, or trade food with other passengers. They likely have food for pet dragons, because pet dragons frequently dying on buses would likely result in enough lawsuits to sink the bus union twenty times over.

So, how did your family stake it rich in a non-consumerism environment? What plots worked to help them stomp their way to the top of the food chain and stay there.

Also, are you colorblind?
No. 608375 ID: 9bb161

No. 608801 ID: 6d4898
File 141774312423.png - (1.42MB , 900x872 , ahe 6.png )

>how did your family stake it rich in a non-consumerism environment?

Oh you know, mostly spot commissions.
No. 608802 ID: 6d4898
File 141774335535.png - (1.29MB , 900x841 , ahe 7.png )

It’s a basic learnable skill like anyone can pick up.

That having been said, you really want your work to stand out against your business competitors, but not so much it isn’t still marketable. Clients are looking for a certain classic style: they don’t want your personal flare to show too much and you certainly can’t leave any sort of trade mark other than the kind other professionals will pick up on. Clients just want the job done in such a way that it looks very organic and natural! They may then recommend you by word of mouth.

Your family is part of- no, IS the entirety of a very high-end firm. You only trade in this one service, unlike other companies who also trade in goods, commodities and corporate espionage. That’s what makes you the best!
No. 608993 ID: 311774

So are you traveling on the job, or to simply flaunt your decadence?
Because if the former, let's go over what you're supposed to be doing here.
If the latter, flaunt that shit yo. Show alllll those peeps what you got.

And if the former still go right ahead and show off. Engage in the time honored tradition of "making it rain."
No. 609158 ID: 6d4898
File 141781580146.png - (1.23MB , 771x900 , ahe 8.png )

>let's go over what you're supposed to be doing here

Officially you are here to attend the ball of one Prince Who-Will-Probably-Not-Be-King. The creature is of age and yet has no recognized life partners. Your story is that you are the youngest of many dead children and your dying nation’s last hope for rejuvenation is to create ties overseas, thus. She’s not bad looking. They say she (she? sorry you’re not sure how this country assigns linguistic pronouns. Aura color you think? Number of Mothers? Number of total parents? Adult Height? YDK.) rejects her society’s customs, primarily the wearing of eye coverings. 8/10, would smooch.

But unofficially you are here to uncover if anyone in this kingdom knows who (or if someone here) is responsible for the recent turmoil in your country. Double unofficially if you locate such a person or persons, you are to remove them. Permanently. Then, make a hasty retreat to your home land to marry your actual suitors and succeed your mother to clan boss. You
You miss your mother.

Your side task, if you have time, is to study this land’s orgonal martial arts from its one and only living master. There are a lot of stories about them. They sound 90% fake, but stranger things have happened. Oh and also bring back living specimens of any undiscovered lap dragon breeds you find.

You will be disappointed when you find out this country only breeds hobby riding dragons.

No. 609175 ID: d3be40

Okay. Recall the route to the Ball. When you get off the bus, find a map of the surrounding area and look for a dragon breeder or shop for supplies. Also, find a cozy room.

Did your clan give you permission to take mercenary commissions for the duration of this mission? If so, you may want to take on some "art requests". Not for the money, but for the reputation - pretend that you're willing to work "Dwelling-Static" grade landscapes (for these aura-sensitive "critics", do you think you'll have colors other than red, pink, and brown to work with?) for chump change; that should get the Prince's attention.

As for the famous martial artist, you may want to learn from the local punks before you prove worthy of the local masters, and then go looking around for this urban legend. Don't waste all of your Ball time chasing shadows, though.

Oh, and look around for a new "playmate" for your pet dragon. You like hatching dragon eggs, right?
No. 609231 ID: 7819f4

So you looking to get your smoochings on with this Prince? You sound interested.

Who's responsible for the turmoil in your country? A group? Some shadow organization? A dick with a really big grudge?

What kinda stories are we talking here about this martial arts person?
No. 609452 ID: 1e015c

Go seduce the prince
No. 609518 ID: 6d4898
File 141791311817.png - (1.56MB , 900x852 , ahe 10.png )

> Are you color blind
> ‘Urban Legend’ will explode their ego

You were warned but you didn’t understand the extent? to which these people let it all hang out. You suppose they cover their eyes because it is the only personal bubble they have left when everyone can see each other’s aura’s color, intensity, frequency, mood fluctuations, ect. This bab here is your number one fan and has the right idea. Nice, normal, pure white aura. You can still see the spikes in it, but it takes a while to learn to control that. No one else on the bus has white aura but you and this bab. Yeah, ain’t no strangers gonna be having your soul color revealed to them today, yeah no.

You wonder idly if even this grand master of chi-control lets it flare up like their body is on fire or what. Seems like a waste of energy.
No. 609519 ID: 6d4898
File 141791317432.png - (1.65MB , 900x841 , ahe 9.png )

>Who started the war?

you don’t know, but here’s the deets.
In your nation, the borders are formed not by physical landmarks but by allegiances to different chieftains. Its like this:

Immediate Family < clan < tribe < nation < state

Things don’t usually start getting political until you get to the state level, which goes on like this with a bit of overlap in the lower rungs:

families < township < fiefdom < province < state < country

There is a strong sense of impermanence which demands the law take a back seat to how governance takes place on a local level and that was how the people liked it for as long as anyone could remember. If you have a problem with your neighbor your family takes care of it. If your family had a problem with your neighbor’s family, the clan took care of it. If the two clans had a beef with each other, it would be settled within your clans’ tribe but if the two clans were from different tribes things could get ugly. If two tribes were at war the state might step in to settle in. Much higher up than that and you would get into politics.

But then things got stupid.

Individuals attacking entire tribes to circumvent retaliation from other single individuals, clans that had been at uneasy peace up and destroying each other over night, delicate but equal power struggles suddenly cantilevered out of proportion. It is not your people’s way. Your brothers and sisters worked quietly to back trace the roots of the discord and uncovered a series expatriates from Mossland. Some of your brothers and sisters were never seen again.

You’re not dumb. And pretty sure your mother mostly sent you here to keep you out of trouble in case he, too, falls.

In your native tongue, pronouns are derived from number of mothers. Your mother had three. That’s an odd number. That’s the official story anyway. The truth is more complicated. Your mother often swaps pronouns every month to keep people guessing.

You miss your mother.
No. 609522 ID: d3be40


Okay then. Draw up a diagram of your allies, up to whatever level on the hierarchy is still relatively on "Your Side". Is over 25% of your family bickering with each other? Is your clan in control of itself or are there talks of your mother being ousted out of power? Are the clans in your tribe unified or have they gone to making "splotter and random art" themselves instead of requesting your family for commissions?
No. 609541 ID: 311774

You gotta take that bab yo
Raise that bab to be your partner in totally-legal crime.

Perhaps you could use this time to start composing a letter to your mother then. Send it off when you get to town.
Or did something terrible happen after you were sent off?
No. 610263 ID: 6d4898
File 141815299882.png - (2.08MB , 1034x1000 , ahe 12.png )

Dear Boss,

I am now entering the third day of transit from when I was seen off on the edge of our territory. I made the hike into town from the edge of Wallow Village on my own. I carried all my luggage. You were wrong about it being too much to lug around.

We crossed the sea by ferry over night. You were wrong about the Rust Sea being as impossible to navigate as the Sea of Dead Things. Yes the Rust Sea is just the name of the coastline between the dead sea and Mossland, but it wasn’t that bad. We all stayed inside the whole time.

I understand we’ll be in Ramsheath by sundown. It is very confusing how a town in Mossland is called ‘Ramsheath.’ Or is it ‘Ramshearth’? ‘Ramsheart’? Anyway, I’ve made arrangements to meet someone who will hopefully carry my stuff for me and show me to an Inn.

There are peasants on this ‘bus,’ Boss.

Please re-consider hooking me up with that boy from the Stagger tribe. He is 900% obtuse. There are many fine Princes in Mossland right now that might have me and come back with me. They have names like ‘Of the Star’ and ‘Flying.’ When they come back to our land, we will give them names that they could never have had in Ramshead or Mossland. What do you think.

‘Blinking Star’
‘Flying Blink’
‘Star Blinker’

See, when one prince becomes king, she picks a title like that. But everything is pretty locked up over here. The stability of power is almost trite, Boss. Why would someone from Mossland come to The Land of the Black and the White Where the Trees Grow Straight up and Down just to tear our power structures apart? These people abhor change, it seems.

Boss, I shall bring back as many fine Princes as I can. Do as you will.

-your right hand man
Ahe Blink

The letter is a little bit informal, but you imagine this is no time for formalities. You are the last of your mother's children. You hope it doesn't get back to your mother that you actually had a pack animal carry your luggage.
No. 610304 ID: d3be40

...Make SURE that you are going the right way. Are you going to Ramshead, or Mossland? Ask someone in town about the place.

To prevent someone calling a trace on the people you ask, try asking different questions at random in different places, so that it doesn't look suspicious.

Here are the important questions:

1. This is Ramsheath, Mossland, correct? Can you tell me some of the current events?
- Ask the first innkeeper that you rent a room from. She'll have a contractual obligation to support her customers, to a point.
- If the innkeeper asks why you want to know this, tell her that you're from a long line of professional artists (which is technically true) who do simple work for rich people, like redecoration. You're here because you heard that there are royals who are going to have a very large ball, and you want in. Also, because that prince is super sexy and your family is so good at their jobs that they've done the dance with royalty before. Best get as much information about the city and the prince as possible before interacting with them, though, or they'll simply execute you for being a blabbering idiot.
2. Ask a random guy where the nearest dragon shop is. If they get confused, ask about where you can buy dragons or dragon supplies for your little pet dragon.
- Ask directions after wandering and shopping. At random intervals, talk to someone who looks like they're on a daily routine walk, and not where their job is. This way, you dilute any trails that you leave in terms of suspicious questions.
- Show the stranger your pet dragon, and let them pet it, but don't let them see it for too long or they'll be able to identify it. It easily explains why you're looking for a dragon store.
No. 610717 ID: 6d4898
File 141832559347.png - (1.24MB , 629x900 , ahe 13.png )

You skip to the next day when you arrive in Ramsheath. The fresh air is almost soggy. There’s a hand carved marque by the road that seems to suggest this is a tourist destination and that we are in Ramsheath, South Mossland. After skimming the literature available at the inn next to the bus station you learn there is a rock climbing company, a hot spring company, and tours of several local vineyards, orchards, farms and guided pack animal trails. The main attraction is Tabletop Rock.

It takes you a long time to discern all this. You have to use a pocket translation book and each of the languages it translates to and from are non-phonic, non-alphabetic, non-syllabic and (mostly) non-logographic. Each character represents a full idea.
No. 610718 ID: 6d4898
File 141832576942.png - (908.35KB , 900x617 , ahe 15.png )

This one, for instance, might say ‘I am going to the store,’ and the one nestled inside it says ‘but I’m not going to be happy about it.’ However, in the context of the rest of the script block, these two characters beg the reader to ask themself WHY they would go to the store when fresh produce is right around the corner. The line that usually means ‘I’ is now being utilized by the author of the text to mean ‘you.’ It’s fascinating, linguistically, but the content useless to your mission.

You think it was rather presumptuous of the tourism board to believe only Ramheads would visit Mossland (the two countries share a common writing system). But then again, maybe that is why this town is called Ramsheath.

You don’t speak the language well enough to ask for a dragon shop. You have only ever been to one pet store that sold dragon paraphernalia. The old tradition states that one should feed their dragons off their own life force, causing the dragon to become addicted and completely dependent on the person who wields them. Eventually the dragon’s digestive system atrophies and if it is accustomed to feeding off only one person, switching to another person’s energy will send them into shock and kill them. But you think that’s kind of shitty and mostly you feed yours ant honey. It is imported but you couldn’t read the ‘made in’ label on the bottoms of the vials. Luckily, you brought some along.
No. 610720 ID: d3be40

If you don't know the language, use visual cues instead.

Given this disturbingly complex 'inscribe-context' language, using some key words like "shop?" and pointing to your dragon may be a better idea. People may get the idea that you're trying to sell your dragon, but a dragon store (which likely gets some of its best customers from rich 'The Land of the Black and the White Where the Trees Grow Straight up and Down' tourists) should be able to tell the difference if you show them money and ask for 'supplies'.
No. 610756 ID: 311774

That is kind of shitty!
Give your dragon a little bit of ant honey and be proud that you're not shitty like all the other dragon owners.

Focusing at the task at hand, when's this Prince's ball? Do you need to make any preparations prior to it, or do you have everything you figure you will need? Do you need to check in with anyone, announce your arrival?
No. 611506 ID: 6d4898
File 141853959782.png - (1.21MB , 900x642 , ahe 16.png )

You were pretty concerned for the little guy, you guess. You unpack just enough stuff to get to the dragon food and feed the damn thing already. You sometimes supplement their diets with fresh caught bugs and flower nectar or tree sap. Some of them like fruit juice. Some of them like fresh blood. Some of them only feed on rotting fruit or rancid meat or coagulated blood.
Which kind of dragon was this, again?

>blood drinking
>bug eating
>sugar slurping
>juice box crushing

>That’s not what we wanted to know; we want to buy a NEW dragon before we start our mission proper

But the mission is important! You only have three days in in Mossland before you become suspicious. In 20 hours you should be arriving at the ball. You then are expected to wait another 20 hours to see if you get any call backs, as it were. Then they will probably want you out unless you have business.

Someone was supposed to meet you here and carry your stuff a block down the street to the inn. Or really you had hoped you would be graciously invited to stay in the homes of one of the nobles, here. You could perhaps gather information at one of the estates. It is believed the villain in your country’s upheaval would have been very high class in order to pull it off.
No. 611696 ID: db83ac

Bad idea. You do realize that coming in uninvited to any of the noble houses, even if you were first in line to Mossland, would likely result in trespassing charges, arrests, and/or an attempt on your life.

Just carry your bags and ask where the nearest hotel is, preferably something in your budget. Get yourself ready for the ball.

And leave your dragon at the hotel but be sure to put him in a safe place with sufficient food and water.
No. 611857 ID: 311774

Well that's rude.
Grab your bags and let's make a plan. Do you have any information of the nobles in the area? Names, descriptions of personalities? Who would be the most amicable towards letting you spend a few days? Who would be the least?
No. 613771 ID: b84f67
File 141919418396.png - (1.19MB , 900x646 , ahe 17.png )

You have gathered a little intel on some nobles in the area who are known to grant audiences a little easier than others. Some are delegations from foreign lands, ambassadors and trade commissioners and other politicians and their kin. Others work directly under the king or his queens or sons and daughters. Some are the queens of princes and crown princes who also do important political work.

Who ever you pick, you have to hope you are a good judge of character based only off hearsay and tabloids. Pick wrong and you might wind up staying in the home of the one who had your sisters and brothers assassinated.

>Select 1 to 3 characters A through T, draw up information
No. 613780 ID: 4f21cb

J, T and B
No. 613819 ID: d3be40

D, K, and L
No. 613824 ID: 5cceef

D, L, K
No. 613937 ID: 311774

D looks sinister
J looks manic
M looks nice though.
No. 613945 ID: 69fd19

F...I almost wanna say is Punkilo's father.
J seems like some kinda Aural dancer-type person or something. Or maybe he's that Narotujanjo guy Ahe is looking for.
Q intrigues me...Is he/she into meditation? Or is it more of a likes to be left alone to sleep thing?
No. 616567 ID: b84f67
File 141989859063.png - (503.35KB , 900x395 , ahe 18.png )

Subject D is of mixed heritage and might identify with your predicament. They hold a fairly high office for someone whose parents were immigrants. Something to do with taxes, you think? Accounting? They’re a sly character, not sure if shade.

But the good doctors K and L are renown for helping anyone who needs it. They are also world famous for holding the record for the longest-running mate group. It was founded at least two hundred years ago. Each time a member grows old and dies, they are always remembered by younger mates in the group. These two are all alone, now, you think. They aren’t royals perse, but they are kind for folks with celebrity status and hold sway with many powerful people.

Subject T is a prince who should have been first in line for the throne of Mossland but because of private family matters, they are practically banished. It would be in poor form to straight up force them into exile, though, so they still hang around the Mossy palace quite a bit. It strikes you that they might not be so loyal to their king so much anymore. If it were you, you would have killed your own mother by now.

J is the last of a line of princes from a land called ‘Rebelia,’ and has married the king of Ramshead. Subject J is known for founding or popularizing a movement to absolve all political power and return it to the people. Then they had kids.

B is a visiting spokesperson for their country’s trade commissioner. They should be attending the royal ball with their family.

M is a young person who pals around with royal children who cannot be allowed to interact with common folk and yet ??? this is a commoner?? who is paid to hang around with royal children? The tabloids aren’t being very clear, they seem to assume you already know everything about this.

F is pretty much the same thing but isn’t paid, as far as you can tell, and hangs out with an older set of royal children.

I and Q are monks of dying orders old time religions. Either of them could teach you a thing or two about spirit soul life force magic, but the long haired one with a pension for going shirtless is known to give knowledge away in exchange for money. Also, long hair shirtless chest makes a girl go *dragon noise*

Woah, hold that thought-
No. 616629 ID: b84f67
File 141990369802.png - (1.20MB , 900x630 , ahe 19.png )

You are being mugged in broad dusk light. You try to cause a commotion but the townspeople have conveniently disappeared from sight. You reach for a knife in your waist pocket, your lap dragon trying desperately to retreat up your sleeve as its delicate body is tugged asunder-
No. 616633 ID: b84f67
File 141990417388.png - (3.35MB , 1469x1018 , ahe 20.png )

But the thief knocks you down, flat on your face. Pain shoots through your being as you come undone. You drop your knife like a child novice.
No. 616634 ID: b84f67
File 141990442067.png - (0.99MB , 900x615 , ahe 21.png )

It happened so fast.

When you regain yourself enough to sit up and look around, the dragon-knapper is gone. You would like to get your spectra back under wraps, but it is not cooperating on account of how hurt your wrist feels. Did you actually let go of the dragon to keep it from getting hurt? If you managed not to fall on a knife it will be a christmas kwanzaa kenpass miracle.

Though you are in shock, the logic sector of your brain is telling you to go to the cops immediately. Another part of you demands you ice your hand. Another says you should look for witnesses.
No. 616635 ID: db83ac

Aw, you wook so cyu-

Well, your aura's showing. Scan for your dragon and get running now!
No. 616643 ID: 2ec61a

get the cops, they are trained for this.
No. 616823 ID: db5034

Look around for witnesses, then run for the cops!
No. 616831 ID: f187ca

Attend to hand, perhaps check for witnesses. I dunno about going to the cops- aren't dragons not a thing around here/possibly illegal to have here?
No. 616839 ID: db5034

J. Go with Pamps. Can't go wrong with Pamps.
No. 617037 ID: b84f67
File 142005292793.png - (1.09MB , 900x609 , ahe 22.png )

You look for someone who might help you report the crime but everyone seems to be too intimidated of you. Usually you would be flattered, but this is super unhelpful behavior. Long story short, you wind up at the local law enforcement office and even THEY seem wary of your presence. No one can understand your accent when you try to speak Mossy but eventually someone is kind enough to go across the street to get you some ice for your hand.

Eventually they stash you in a corner like they could get more work done quicker if they just get some space. This is getting you nowhere. Your family dragon is probably halfway to the Ramshead capital by now. Furthermore you are too frazzled to do anything about your aura being projected.
No. 617038 ID: b84f67
File 142005362505.png - (1.04MB , 900x608 , ahe 23.png )

Just as it occurs to you that the loss of your companion animal might be just cause enough to stay an extra long while in Mossland, they bring someone in for processing. They make twice the fuss over them as they did over you, as though they were expecting them.

They look to be around your age, very disappointed, and full of bees.

Wait, ‘bees’?

Maybe you have a concussion.

Something about their green energy gets your stuff all fired up again. Hopefully they won’t notice.
No. 617039 ID: b84f67
File 142005368106.png - (3.01MB , 1486x1012 , ahe 24.png )

She noticed.

Is that envy you detect? She wouldn’t be so jealous if she knew everything you’ve lost.

No. 617040 ID: db5034

Try and strike up a conversation! Remember, friends are allies!
No. 617041 ID: 5875f0

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
Her Aura feels weird, enough so that yours reacted to it?
I think that might be worth asking about, what's with her bee-aura.
No. 617086 ID: b84f67
File 142006380358.png - (1.06MB , 900x615 , ahe 25.png )

>what's with her bee-aura.
You have a hunch already.

>Try and strike up a conversation! Remember, friends are allies!
There’s no way she speaks the old tongue.

So you use it to call her ‘the son of a flippant harlot.’
No. 617089 ID: b84f67
File 142006473158.png - (1.22MB , 900x769 , ahe 27.png )

:strikerf: [what did you call me?]
:ahef: OoO!
No. 617090 ID: b84f67
File 142006509355.png - (1.16MB , 900x636 , ahe 26.png )

Astounding! This creature speaks, not just reads, but SPEAKS one of the oldest surviving languages on-world!

Respect bonus: plus plus 2

You blather on to her about your predicament in your native tongue, but she doesn't seem to catch on. So you start over in the old tongue which is a robust language irreconcilable with blathering.

The cops want to know what you’re saying! She seems to think she is in a position to negotiate with them.

>tell them you’ll help her if she helps you
>the nerve of this trash. forget it.
>be someone else, select player
No. 617092 ID: da193e

Offer to help!
No. 617126 ID: 2ec61a

strike a deal, you need your dragon, they want freedom.
No. 617620 ID: 311774

Help for help. We need to get our dragon back and she needs... whatever she needs.
No. 619872 ID: b84f67
File 142107855061.png - (1.18MB , 900x616 , ahe 28.png )

>Help for help

You decide to stay cool and enlist the translation services of the sweet young thing. You tell her you can bail her out and get her a lawyer if she needs it and she begrudgingly complies.

You have her tell the cops on duty here at the station that you are capable of paying extra if that’s what it takes to get your property back quicker: that property being a lap dragon. Also you have been physically assaulted by the crook and you want them to take note of that.
No. 619874 ID: b84f67
File 142107911583.png - (1.17MB , 900x638 , ahe 29.png )

They don’t take too kindly to being offered the extra money. On top of that, the word your translator uses for ‘dragon’ isn’t the kind of dragon you meant and one of the cops sneers as xe asks you if you have a ‘license for that riding dragon’.

>continue to be chill
No. 619879 ID: d3be40

Use your hands to explain that you have a "small" dragon.
No. 619885 ID: 8339bb

use hand motions to show what you are saying better.
No. 619976 ID: db5034

Use your hands to indicate the size of your lap dragon!
No. 619977 ID: 53f127

Draw the dragon life size.
No. 620029 ID: 311774

Hand motions and then a drawing.
No. 620353 ID: b84f67
File 142125551236.png - (1.19MB , 900x620 , ahe 30.png )

>show them how big your ‘lap dragon’ is WINK

No, come on, guys, it's like. It’s like a fat snake with a goofy tongue, like.. And it wriggles around and.. noodles its way into your breast pocket to get warm.

You do your best concussed impression of the sap sucking lap dragon’s serpentine movements and tendency to noodle its way inside peoples’ clothing.

Wow the artist can’t even draw hands amazing zezezeze
No. 620354 ID: b84f67
File 142125561874.png - (1.16MB , 900x625 , ahe 31.png )

The cops seem stunned by your amazing pantomime.
No. 620356 ID: b84f67
File 142125598123.png - (1.12MB , 890x620 , ahe 32.png )

But Look to your translator for answers. Strange, the atmosphere in here just got really uncomfortable for some reason.
No. 621179 ID: b84f67
File 142170759989.png - (1.15MB , 900x624 , ahe 33.png )

Using your good hand and the bulletin board and letter pins behind you, you recreate an artistic rendering of the stolen lap dragon while your new associate translates attempts to convey to the police officers what the different components represent.
No. 621181 ID: b84f67
File 142170771463.png - (1.13MB , 900x635 , ahe 34.png )

Okay you think we’re done here. :/

You are told the police will alert all beat agents to the animal’s description. You didn’t get a good look at the guy who robbed you. They were notably shorter than you and had a broad rimmed hat, you think?

Welp, time to go nurse this massive brain hemorrhage lmao

>ask for a hospital
>ask for a room key wait damnit this isn’t the inn, fuck
>day dream about Dicbut
No. 621183 ID: 311774

We probably need a hospital now, like, badly.
No. 621871 ID: b84f67
File 142206972844.png - (1.14MB , 900x625 , ahe 35.png )

You sign the paperwork and pay the translator’s bail: ten thousand bolt nuts. Though, the cost of living is so low here compared to Black Trees Up and Down, it feels like five hundred. Besides, if she’s going to be your sidekick to get back your FORTY thousand dollar dragon and, maybe, even avenge your family, it will be worth it!
Apparently her name is Princess Glimmerstrike Dicbut III. Princess? That sure is a funny name.
No. 621872 ID: b84f67
File 142206996369.png - (1.14MB , 900x629 , ahe 36.png )

:strikerf: wow, so, uh. Thanks. See you around.
:ahef: oh. You’re leaving.
:strikerf: yep, Striker out. so. bye! :)
:ahef: where’s the hospital
:strikerf: oh, there’s not. They have a doctor who lives in the woods. I was trying to find him/her for a while but I gave up. Good luck to you, though! :D
:ahef: oh...
No. 621875 ID: b84f67
File 142207012429.png - (1.07MB , 900x630 , ahe 37.png )

bloop, lost your ice bag
No. 621878 ID: b84f67
File 142207064564.png - (1.10MB , 900x633 , ahe 38.png )

What happens next gets fuzzy for you but it goes a little somthing like this:

:ahef: s-striker-kun
:strikerf: H-hai, Blinku-sama?
:ahef: promise me.. one thing..
:strikerf: yes?
:ahef: you must..
:ahef: please.. you must.. go to the bus stop and get my luggage for me.
:strikerf: ~A~

Cherry blossoms and/or rose petals / linden berry trees

>Be Striker
>Skip forwards, stay Ahe
>Be someone else, specifications welcome
No. 621880 ID: d3be40

Well, we'll just let these two bond on their own time.

Be Prinshades.
No. 621891 ID: a18f15

Be striker.
No. 621937 ID: 311774

Be Striker again. We gotta solve the mystery of our missing dragon while the iron is still hot!
No. 622085 ID: b84f67
File 142216992693.png - (1.19MB , 900x637 , striker 39.png )

You are Glimmerstrike Dicbut III and this crazy foreigner has just passed out on you. They don’t seem to be in too good of shape. It was nice of them to pay your bail, but you don’t care anything about finding their pet with them! You still have a kingdom to usurper after all. *Usurp.

Also you’re pretty sure they cat called you when you were being brought in for processing. You were not looking forwards to trying to break out of that jail tonight.

Wait, no. Like, surely you know how awkward this is, Glimmerstrike. You don’t gotta explain it to yourself. Like, you can if you say to yourself ‘Glimmerstrike, what the crunsh. How. Why. Who?’

aaUUuhhh okay this fellow is packing heat like a lot of heat, you can feel it through their robes, this just got 1000% more terse. Wait, heat is fire arms. So, blades must be ice. They're packing ice.
No. 622087 ID: a18f15

>They're packing ice.
So... that makes them cool, right? Eh? Eh?
No. 622106 ID: 7473df

Take the unconscious (and eerily attractive) foreigner to a doctor, straight away!
No. 622230 ID: b84f67
File 142224518863.png - (0.99MB , 900x582 , striker 40.png )


Yeah, you guess the vagabond is pretty cool. But they’re getting heavy!

And you never found the doctor! He probably came to patch up the prince you sliced, but no one came to check on your health status all night last night.

You drag the foreigner towards the nearest inn. You know a little bit about first aid. You gave stitches to that prince you cut, remember? Maybe you can stabilize this character. Afterwards you will think about checking to see if their luggage is still at the transit station. Yes?
No. 622240 ID: 7473df

Ask some locals about a doctor! Once you've got him/her squared away, get some lodgings!
No. 622262 ID: a18f15

>Maybe you can stabilize this character.
I dunno, brain hemorrhages are trickier than cuts.
No. 622308 ID: 311774

We are the Best Doctor and that is the Best Plan.
Find a table somewhere and begin brain surgery.
No. 624919 ID: b84f67
File 142379695037.png - (1.22MB , 900x656 , striker 41.png )

You can’t just keep dragging this semi-conscious body around town so you pop into the inn.

:strikerf: Hey, Enkeepa

:enkeepa: Holy TREE shit, My Lord! What have you gotten yourself into, this time?

Enkeepa owns the inn, fifth generation. You ask her if she’s seen the doctor, lately. She asks you if that’s a dead body you’re lugging around and tells you she thought you were still in jail and, wait, is that why you were in jail: is that the foreign Prince you were rumored to have killed.

:strikerf: Enkeepa, I’m terribly dishonored by your assumption I’d be unprofessional enough to incriminate myself by bringing a dead body right to all these witnesses.

The inn also has a family-style restaurant and everyone has turned away from their meals to gawk at the roukous at the front desk where you stand.

:enkeepa: of course not, Prince. You’re way too skilled a prinsassin for that!

:strikerf: …. Was that sarcasm, Enkeepa-Commona.. *commoner

:enkeepa: ‘Course not, Prince GlimmerStrike

That patronizing grin looks almost genuine and you honestly can’t tell, anymore. You sign in to the tab-book and make your way up to your usual room.
No. 624921 ID: b84f67
File 142379748482.png - (1.11MB , 900x597 , striker 42.png )

You will have to try and find someone willing to give you the doctor’s information. It makes sense that he would have at least a telegraph line.

Wait, why didn’t you ask at the police station? They have a telegraph machine, damnit! Wait, does the inn have one? The bus stop might and you have to go pick up the noble’s gear, anyway. What is it s/he’s trying to get back, anyway? The animal side-kick everyone in the world was born with except for you?

>get ice for stranger’s hand / otherwise tend to stranger
>go directly out to run errands; sub-command: select errands
>abandon the stranger to reassume your mission to usurp the throne
>masturbate furiously
No. 624945 ID: 311774

Not just any animal sidekick, the best animal sidekick. A fucking dragon.

We should tend to the stranger so we can later recruit them into our party to usurp the throne. Let's go check for her luggage back at the bus stop.
No. 624983 ID: 5865c9

Tend to her immediate injuries, then go on errands --> Look for a doctor
No. 625112 ID: b84f67
File 142397261259.png - (1.08MB , 900x627 , striker 43.png )

This hotel is pretty nice. It’s got an ice box that chops up the ice for you and you don’t even need to put boltnuts in to get it. The little kelpophane bags and twist ties came from down stairs in the restaurant. You didn’t see a public telecom booth while you were there.
No. 625114 ID: b84f67
File 142397292666.png - (1.15MB , 900x643 , striker 44.png )

The place isn’t so nice you are expected to wear your shoes or house shoes everywhere in the hallways, though. In this way, it is better than your old charter school.

Drat. The Black Trees tourist was jizzing their perfect, piercing pink life force all over the place earlier like it was going out of style. They seem to have completely exhausted their reserves.
No. 625115 ID: b84f67
File 142397322027.png - (1.10MB , 900x603 , striker 45.png )

Ice scrotums should be wrapped in infant towels so as not to irrationalize the skin.
No. 625116 ID: b84f67
File 142397340430.png - (1.17MB , 900x609 , striker 46.png )

Actually, maybe their default aura isn’t hot pink. Maybe they were just projecting the color of pain and fear because they were in a lot of pain and had just been robbed. Wow you feel like a jerk.

You better find that doctor fast or you might have to give this weirdo a transfusion of life blood and you are not professional enough to try it.

>Go down stairs and ask if there’s a phone
>Go to the bus stop
>Go back to the police
>Masturbate furiously
>Think of something better
No. 625122 ID: 82efdc

>Masturbate furiously
Eh, as much as you like being control, bedridden injured people are a turn off.

>Go down stairs and ask if there’s a phone
And ask if they know how to get in touch with a doctor. (Can't be the first time someone got sick in the hotel!).
No. 625125 ID: d3be40

Send a request to the innkeeper for a doctor.
No. 625189 ID: b84f67
File 142403749266.png - (1.12MB , 900x644 , striker 47.png )


>Ask the inn establishment for a doctor, but not face to face

That’s BRILLIANT! Why didn’t you think of that sooner! Enkeepa doesn't mind the horn and even if she did, she might not know to make fun of you immediately before listening to your pleas for common decency! GENIUS
No. 625190 ID: b84f67
File 142403785014.png - (1.06MB , 900x642 , striker 49.png )

Now you don’t even have to put your pants back on.
No. 625192 ID: b84f67
File 142403803697.png - (1.15MB , 900x610 , striker 49b.png )

“Hello, horn attendant?
Yes, this is room 25!
I was wondering. Do you guys have a telegraph or wire service?
You do! Oh, you piggy back off the bank across the alley? Great!
Can someone call the doctor for me?
Yes, it is kind of an emergency. I have a head bunger and possibly sprained or broken wrist. Also running low on energy, could go into total system collapse.
Oh, you will?
Thank you so much!
Yes, I’ll wait right here. How long do you think it will be before the doctor gets here?

I see.
I’ll be the guy in black sleeping on the bed. Yep. Oh, uh.
*groan* not good, ohhh, owie.

No this isn’t a prank.

Okay, yes it’s me, Glimmerstrike..
Yes I really need a doctor!
So two hours?
Sounds good, thank you!”

Damn it feels good to be a ganster.

>Keeps being Glimmerstrike, do nothing
>Keep being Glimmerstrike, do something: input activity
>Be someone else: input elseness
No. 625230 ID: d3be40


If you're going out, be sure to give her a letter so that she doesn't assume the doctor is an assassin and throw knives all over the room. You may want to wait for the doctor before you leave.

Alright, let's see how Punkulio is doing.
No. 625257 ID: 00f89f

Make sure to fully disarm the visitor, and be ready to assure them that the doctor isn't an assassin.

And while you're all by your lonesome, that "furiously masturbate" thing doesn't sound all that bad.
No. 625339 ID: b84f67

Guys, just so you know, I don't mind if you want to suggest something that has already been suggested. In fact, I need tie breakers like 90% of the time. So please, feel free to say what has already been said and also feel free to change you answers. thank.
No. 625421 ID: 066a87

Stick around, wait patiently for the doctor. This person needs help.
No. 625461 ID: a19cd5

Draw your weird alien genitalia on his face.
No. 625789 ID: b84f67
File 142445532489.png - (1.13MB , 900x621 , striker 50.png )

>Make sure to fully disarm the visitor
Right.. Man, there’s no way even leaving a letter might work. The doctor could come in and wake Black Trees Hidden Dragon over here and get sushi’d to death.

You search the traveler’s person and come up with no less than
Needles: 0/3
Shanks: 1/3
Daggers: 3/4
Knives: 2/2
naked blades: 0/5
Throwing knives: 1/2

Seven fucking blades on this individual. That’s insane. Pretty sure you got them all, though.
You stash them under the bed for cheap hiding purposes and write a note for the doctor and the slumbering lunatic.

>Draw your weird alien genitalia on his face

Then you draw an obscene symbol on his/her face.

Damn it feels good to be a prankster.
No. 625790 ID: b84f67
File 142445560443.png - (963.93KB , 900x600 , striker 51.png )

>Turn the steam room up to 50%. Lock the door
This inn is so nice. Being family oriented means it also is oriented towards families who are still growing. Amenities like woah.
No. 625791 ID: b84f67
File 142445574367.png - (1.16MB , 900x644 , striker 52.png )

Time to get down to business. It’s been a while since you held a meeting with the brokers. Professionality has been at an overall high this past quarter and you think it may be time to give everyone at the firm a little vacation time. PAID vacation time.
No. 625793 ID: b84f67
File 142445591714.png - (1.11MB , 900x619 , punku 16.png )

>Alright, let's see how Punkulio is doing

Woops, you are suddenly being Prinshades Lollerblades Julio Punkulio of the House of the FlyingTendril or something like that: one of your parents just got publicaly re-named King of Ramshead official. You can now rest assured that you are your nation’s heir apparent: assuming you won’t be usurped. You are picking out names for yourself for when you awaken as a god in your new role as supreme ruler of the world.

Your wound is healing nicely. Your royal cosmic waves have ensured 50% healing every 20 hours. Also you had a good doctor.

No, not Dicbut. That retch can rot in prison, for all you care. You will just be keeping all her illicit materials, like Pad Snagged vol. III, the cover with Da’iv on it.

But right now, you are enjoying some of your OWN collection. This stuff is so obscene for real, yo.
No. 625798 ID: b84f67
File 142445789785.png - (1.27MB , 900x605 , punku 18.png )

These two aliens. They’re from a race divided not by aural might but by a more biologically tangible set of criteria. The scrappy one on top is the Princess. Although, since she is from another kingdom, she is a Prince to you. The lanky one on bottom: he’s just a noble commoner. But a commoner none the less!
There are SO many things that are fucked up about this scene.

too bad about the low quality, though. You think it was transcribed from gravitons sent over from another dimension. http://snager-dragon.tumblr.com/image/111579046837
No. 625803 ID: b84f67
File 142445809254.png - (1.03MB , 900x637 , punku 17.png )

>Woah, hold on, there, mister! Where do you think you’re putting that hand? You’re still in recovery!

Well, you are a virile young man and like any hot blooded Ramshead you are prone to getting worked up when in pain and especially when bleeding. So are these aliens in the perverse movie! Small world.

But unlike Kentropans, the blood these colorful bug monsters shed seems to serve no biological means towards reproduction. Must just be a courtship thing.

Also your grody distant cousin with the horrific green aura totally spooged it all over you yesterday and your system is begging for a discharge-
No. 625804 ID: b84f67
File 142445831237.png - (1.07MB , 900x633 , striker 53.png )

The black trees baron totally spooged their horrific aura all over you and now your system is begging for a discharge-

Woah, Déjà vu. You're Dicbut again.

>wait patiently for the doctor
No. 626011 ID: ecfd51

is that homestuck
No. 626077 ID: 103dfc

Wash yourself.
No. 627888 ID: b84f67
File 142560828257.png - (1.14MB , 900x620 , striker 25.png )

You fill the tub and promptly fall asleep with the humidity turned on high and your hormones all riled up.

You made Dikbut soup. Woops.

Good thing the doctor will be here soon.

Go to part two >
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