1/3 chirps 2014/09/01(Mon)09:22 No. 592100 ID: dff0a8
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>>592009

[Golly] I was bought at a slave auction, the veaconness at the time was gonna use me as a sacrifice but than things happened.

[Addie] what kind of things?

[Golly] an attack against the church, I had to fight for my life... they thought I was fightin to protect the church so they made me one of them

>>592038

[Golly] it's mostly calm in the time between their special events. Mostly normal, but when it gets time to do rituals or a special event happens... It's more you find out

2/3 chirps 2014/09/01(Mon)09:24 No. 592101 ID: dff0a8
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[Bum] Uh hello, sorry to interrupt but there was this person outside your door... cover thing. I brought her inside, I don't think she's in very good shape, you should call the police and an ambulance

3/3 chirps 2014/09/01(Mon)09:28 No. 592102 ID: dff0a8
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[Golly] Oh thank you, we'll make sure to call them

[Bum] okay... is this some kind of church?

[Golly] sorta

[Bum] is there a chance I could crash here for a bit? See i'm sortof housing misplace

[Golly] I'm sorrry, no

[Bum] why not, I saw a bunch of cots coming in through here

[Golly] We're more a shelter for battered women, most of the women are out doing errands... it would not do well if they saw a man staying here

[Bum] oh... can I get some grub?

[Golly] ...

>input

Shall we eat him? Let's make him the grub to please the sexmurder cultists. Let's lead him to the kitchen >:D

Probably best to shoo the bum away before something bad happens to him. This is a cannibalistic murder-cult.

>it's mostly calm in the time between their special events
When's the next event, then? Is it gonna be calm for a while or...?

This quest made a guest appearance in my dreams. Like, as I walked down the cobblestone road, somebody was explaining to me like "all life is sacred, and you must only kill as a last resort...except cultists are a special case, because you NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GONNA DO!" as cultists start throwing rocks or unlit molotovs or something at us, and we book it. There was something about, like, one of them was a new recruit, though, and wasn't very enthusiastic or careful with their aim. But yeah, it was totally making references to this quest.

1/4 chirps 2014/09/19(Fri)09:40 No. 594748 ID: dff0a8
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[Golly] Sorry we have no food, shoo shoo

[Bum] Hey, I was just askin!

[Addie] This way mister bum, out through here.

2/4 chirps 2014/09/19(Fri)09:44 No. 594749 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] ... okay, he's gone.

[Golly] Good

[Addie] So, how long til the next event?

[Golly] Dunno, it's up to akia to tell the high veaconness. Then the engagement ceremony will need to be planned and stuff. Lets go do an errand.

[Addie] What kind of errand?

[Golly] It's an easy one that i go do whenever Akia is out. I'm gonna put a guardian at the door

[Addie] ...kay?

3/4 chirps 2014/09/19(Fri)09:47 No. 594751 ID: dff0a8
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[Golly] Ello wefty, who's my little guardian, can you keep people out of the door til i get back?

[Lefty] Nyaaaaa

[Addie] What the hell is that thing?!

[Golly] It's lefty, our bestest guardian in all the universe

[Lefty] nya nya

4/4 chirps 2014/09/19(Fri)09:55 No. 594752 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] That things not gonna kill us is it?

[Golly] well, if you attack him he'll for sure squish you jelly flat

[Addie] damn... okay, so what kinda errand is this?

[Golly] Well, we are gonna go bother akia so she'll not prowl in the park.

[Addie] who and the what now?

[Golly] Well... don't be put off or nuthin but akia doesn't like girls, she may be leadin you on and such... with all the little things she does and says, but she don't like us in that way or any adult...

[Addie] ...ooookay, so what you're saying is.. whut.

[Golly] Akia is a really bad pedophile who targets little boys, it just makes me all sorts of disgusted that them poor boys first time would be with such a uncomfortable person. So the gist is you and me go find akia and just bother her, you think you're up for some bothering?

>input

>you think you're up for some bothering?
Yeah, I think I can do that.

Man, friggen cultists. Make your minds about your perversions.

Wait, one of the veaconess' likes to leave the cult grounds for extended periods of time to molest little boys? Seems like the kind of place your superiors could easily nab her and even a good excuse for the arrest unrelated to the cult. Seems like just the kind of information they'd be looking for once you have an idea of what parks she's prowling. Time to get your bother on.

>>594751
>Lefty
That is clearly a right hand though

>>594763
But he's most proficient with his left appendage. Therefore, lefty.

Is it really safe to go bother her? But eh, do we like poke her with a stick and say "No, bad deaconess"

>>594755
This veaconess is not the one we want. We gotta climb the ranks or hope the High Priestess comes by to visit so we can kill her. Until then, play it cool, play it all the way. gonna be a nice heft paycheck once this is all done with, combat pay and all that.

1/2 chirps 2014/11/12(Wed)10:46 No. 601778 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] Alright, we're at the park. Why didn't we check the one closest to the church?

[Golly] This one is harder to get to and she's been more successful here.

[Addie] So... where do we start looking, there's no playground here.

[Golly] Just you wait, she'll walk by this area- it's on the route here score spot. She doesn't think I know where it is, but it's better to act ignorant and use her sense of security to catch her.

2/2 chirps 2014/11/12(Wed)10:48 No. 601779 ID: dff0a8
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[Golly] There she is, and there's a peepboy.

[Addie] Well lets jump into action then! ...what do we do?

[Golly] I'll let you come up with something, I want to gauge your creativity.

>input

None of my ideas are good at handling this, so here is a few.

Run up screaming and flailing like an idiot.

Fake an emergency.

Pretend you are important (doctors/coworkers whoever) and use it as an excuse to drag her off.

Say nothing, walk up and litterally carry her away.

DO NOTHING. I have no idea why this is an option except for amusement/disturbing scene and golly to question your lack of action.

Walk up and tell the kid his parent wants to see him. (Saying mom or dad specifically may backfire if they aren't around.) Im gonna vote for this one.

Sneak around and break enough twigs and step on enough leaves that she can tell she's being followed. She won't do anything if she thinks someone's watching.

1/3 chirps 2014/11/17(Mon)08:49 No. 603196 ID: dff0a8
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*crunch, snap crunch*

[Addie] Sure is a nice day for a walk, in the park! WHY I DO BELIEVE THE PARK IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PLACE- WOULD HATE TO SEE SOMETHING STARTL-

2/3 chirps 2014/11/17(Mon)08:49 No. 603197 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] *whimper* bugaga habuubu

3/3 chirps 2014/11/17(Mon)08:52 No. 603198 ID: dff0a8
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[Golly] Damned be the skys girl, you alright?

[Addie] 2 plus 4 equals lemons, actions have an equal and opposite glaucoma chance, I think I can do better next time, lemme leemme lemmings try again... what?

[Golly] Uhm... you alright?

[Addie] What is... alright...?

>input

>What is... alright...?
Oh, right, it's that thing you're not! Hahaha!

Didn't count on her responding violently so quickly. You need to snap out of it, though, quick. Or else she's gonna get away with that kid.

Call an ambulance for Addie. That will also scare her off possibly.

>>603219

That it would, sudden sirens would do much to scare off her.

1/3 chirps 2014/11/17(Mon)15:54 No. 603263 ID: dff0a8
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[Golly] I'm gonna call an ambulance, it'll hopefully scare akia away from doing her shenanigans

[Addie] No mommy, I don't wanna stay up for scary stories, I'm going to enjoy the softness of my bed... down here...

[Golly] Yep, ambulance time

2/3 chirps 2014/11/17(Mon)15:55 No. 603265 ID: dff0a8
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[Golly] welp, she's passed out on me.

*Sirens In the background*

3/3 chirps 2014/11/17(Mon)15:56 No. 603267 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] ...

>input

Do a triple backflip! We need more head trauma!

Are we still standing in the park? Check to see if we've suffered any permanent brain damage.

Can you think clearly now? You took a dreadfully large rock to the cranium, started going word salad on us bun bun.

Look how bad addie's vision is now, lines and shapes are not as precise anymore and there is a lack of color or detail.

Well I think she needs brain surgery. Addie! Talk to the nice people with your words so they know to help you.

1/4 chirps 2014/11/19(Wed)12:09 No. 603721 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] Hello, I think I might have brain damage.

2/4 chirps 2014/11/19(Wed)12:10 No. 603723 ID: dff0a8
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[Littleperson] BRAIN DAMAGE, IS THAT SOMETHING YOU CAN JUST TELL RIGHT OFF THE BAT? MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO SEE A DOCTOR OR SOMETHING.

3/4 chirps 2014/11/19(Wed)12:11 No. 603724 ID: dff0a8
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[Otherlittleperson] what are you yelling in the middle of the street for?

[Littleperson] The big person was wondering if they had brain damage.

[Otherlittleperson] really? how could someone just know that, doesn't a doctor diagnose that or something?

[Littleperson] I know, that's what I said.

4/4 chirps 2014/11/19(Wed)12:13 No. 603726 ID: dff0a8
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[Otherlittleperson] HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE, DOES YOUR HEAD HURT?

[Littleperson] OR MAYBE YOU SAW A DOCTOR EARLIER?

[Otherlittleperson] WE AREN'T DOCTORS, MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO FIND A DOCTOR!

[Littleperson] A DOCTOR THAT SPECIALIZES IN BRAIN DAMAGE.

>input

Eat them. Do it.

I'm talking to myself. That's a sign of brain damage, isn't it?

>>603727
Sounds like something a brain damaged person would do. Or a cultist! And you're both.

Yeah I definitely think your cognitive perception has left the building.

Where are the good beetles and their brain fixing machine when you need them?

So how about we go and find a doctor? Or have someone lead us to a doc?

1/4 chirps 2014/12/01(Mon)12:02 No. 607512 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] nyaaaaaaaaa

[Littleperson] AAAAHHHH, NOSTOPWHATYWANT!?

2/4 chirps 2014/12/01(Mon)12:03 No. 607513 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] Is there a doctor around here?

[Littleperson] nope

[Addie] welp time to eat you than

3/4 chirps 2014/12/01(Mon)12:04 No. 607514 ID: dff0a8
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[Littleperson] NO NO, WE HAVE A VILLAGE ELDER- BETTER THAN ANY DOCTOR

4/4 chirps 2014/12/01(Mon)12:05 No. 607515 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] Oh, myan mu elp e- fink godbwain amage

[Elder] I'll answer your questions if you please take that villager out of your mouth...

>input

>put elder in mouth

So... http://youtu.be/pDjJShkYW7g

Eat them all.

Pull him out of your mouth and start licking his head like a lollypop while the elder answers you questions.

>I'll answer your questions if you please take that villager out of your mouth...
'ow can 'oo tell im gibbin' im bwain damage chewwin on 'is head. 'oo a doctor or sometin?

chirps 2014/12/10(Wed)08:24 No. 610466 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] ows tis *lick lick*

[Elder]not much better...

>input

EAT. THEM.

Stick the villager in your hair, storing it for later and making a classy decoration at the same time.

'Dere. Dat betta?

chirps 2014/12/14(Sun)20:13 No. 611855 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] Does this work?

[Elder] eh, guess it's the best you can do. So what questions you got, giant person?

>input

>So what questions you got, giant person?

[Addie] Hello, I think I might have brain damage.

How I know bamage drain?

How do I seek enlightenment?

1/2 chirps 2014/12/16(Tue)08:28 No. 612388 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] Do I have brain damage?

[Elder] Yes

[Addie] How do I seek enlightenment

[Elder] You must become one with yourself.

2/2 chirps 2014/12/16(Tue)08:29 No. 612389 ID: dff0a8
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[Elder] But it's impossible for you, since you have brain damage... and you're dumb.

>input

>>612389
Become one with yourself....but the only way to do that....

IS EAT THEM.

Fine. Eat em.

Actually the answer is obvious.
Eat yourself.

The answer is ideed obvious.
>Eat yourself

>>612389
Before commiting to any action request knowledge on how to improve your condition. Both the brain damage and the stupid stuff.

1/2 chirps 2014/12/17(Wed)13:40 No. 612785 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] How o great elder do i change these things.

[Elder] You must eat yourself, but if you think it's impossible I made you a little stuffy of yourself to make it easier.

2/2 chirps 2014/12/17(Wed)13:40 No. 612786 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] Awwww, do i have to? It's so tiny, and adorable.

>input

Pretend to eat the doll but only hide it in your cheek while making chewing sounds. Just in case its a trap.

EAT THE DOLL.
.........................
THEN THE REST OF THEM.

Eat the doll.
Just fucking eat the doll.
Destroy them if it doesn't work.

Inquire about suppository format.

chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)11:14 No. 613968 ID: dff0a8
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[Mark] Oh, you were mumbling about eating something... so i fed you your pillow.

chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)11:17 No. 613969 ID: dff0a8
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[Addie] Who are you, where's golly?

[Mark] I'm mark, the ever lovable llama-dog. Golly went back to her covenant to get punished for some minor thing... I dunno- akia was just angry with her.

[Addie] Mkay

[Mark] Well anywho, I heard you were interested in becoming one of our members! But since Akia has doesn't want you anymore that means I have to place you somewhere.

chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)11:21 No. 613970 ID: dff0a8
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[Mark] So to better gauge which group of us, and pair you to the best veaconess to better suit you, I have gone ahead and run a background check.

[Addie] Well, so where am I going?

[Mark] I hadn't quite decided yet... Since information on your name is very sparce- so i went looking for your real name.

chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)11:25 No. 613974 ID: dff0a8
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[Mark] Now you do have a nice name, Adelaide Sensor, I like it a lot. But since that's not your real name I just looked up Adimaine Lemoncherry.

[Addie] ...

[Mark] Now I can ignore this whole thing with the galaxy police department or heck, i'll even give up julia if you just do one thing for me.

[Addie] okay... what is it.

[Mark] I want you to become a paladin for our church!

[Addie] What if I refuse?

chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)11:27 No. 613975 ID: dff0a8
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[Mark] THEN I RAPE YOU WITH A GARGANTUAN SPIKED OBELISK AND EAT WHAT REMAINS

chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)11:28 No. 613976 ID: dff0a8
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[Mark] The choice is yours, but I'd prefer one of our people to be a proud policewoman.

>input

Not much of a choice...Join or die, it's almost cliche really.

Ask what being a paladin of the church would require of you.

And why exactly he wants someone in the police force to be part of the church anyways. Say that you rather like being a non corrupt cop.

Up to you really. You seemed rather angry with the church for making your species look bad and ruining any sort of social life. Would be nice to tell him to just fuck off.

But on the other hand we know enough about the church to know that he is probably serious about the whole horrible rape murder thing. And probably has the power to back it up.

you could snap your own neck. killing yourself before someone else kills works wonderfully if the way they propose death is horrible.

>>613976
Yeah, whatever. Ask what was up with that weird dream.

>Mark
Nope nope nope. Refuse whatever he offers. Nothing he threatens can be worse than cooperating with that god-monster.

Death before dishonor!

chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)14:37 No. 614049 ID: dff0a8
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[Mark] Well, have you made up your mind?

[Addie] Yes

[Mark] Than lets talk about why i wan't you to be my pala-

[Addie] I refuse.

chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)14:38 No. 614051 ID: dff0a8
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[Mark] Whut

[Addie] You heard me, Fuck Off.

[Mark] But the obelisk raping

[Addie] I don't care, I'll snap my own neck. I damn well like being a not corrupt cop

chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)14:39 No. 614052 ID: dff0a8
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[Mark] Mhmmmmm

chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)14:43 No. 614054 ID: dff0a8
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[Mark] I am so angry that my shape-shifting capabilities cannot process all of it.

[Addie] Well try to process sucking a dick!

[Mark] ... I've changed my mind, no more rape.

[Addie] Well what'ya got big-man

The End chirps 2014/12/22(Mon)14:46 No. 614058 ID: dff0a8
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[Mark] Another failure, Why are law enforcers so stubborn... maybe i'm approaching this wrong


>Bunbunfiltration End

>reload from last checkpoint

>Go to the after life, get new body, comeback and feel badass

You definitely could be a bit more subtle Mark. She would have been the perfect candidate but you had to go threaten her right off.

Even a crooked cop would have told you to fuck off with that delivery. You have to work slowly. Show them the carrot first and only bring in the stick if needed later.

She felt like being a bunbun was a bad thing because of the stigma surrounding your cult. It ruined her social life and made her a loner. Thats a far cry from hating you because you run a horrible murder cult. If you had started making her life much better and made it clear it was all because of the power of the church you could have reeled her in quickly.

A few weeks watching her closely to see what made her tick would have shown you weaknesses you could exploit.

So much potential lost with just murdering her.

A few measly hours and I come back to everyone having gotten Addie killed. Couldn't have just LIED about accepting, pretend to be a double agent and still be loyal.

Goodnight sweet princess. It was fun while it lasted.

>>614112
There was no lying. We were fucked the minute the evil physical god appeared. At least this was quick.

>start new game

>>614112

Considering the usual things that happen for this group to those who don't end up falling into the group, she would have been dead anyways.

Honestly dying quickly and painlessly was probably the good ending when it comes to the devourer cult.