3/9 Punk 2014/05/18(Sun)17:52 No. 574975 ID: f93bc2
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From behind you comes a voice "I guess she won't be exploring anymore..." You turn to find.. your squire?! Reaching into a drawer with a evil look on his face "Welcome to the owner of the fortress' chambers, sire. That is to say... MY CHAMBERS!"

Punk 2014/05/18(Sun)17:53 No. 574976 ID: f93bc2
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He tears something from within the drawer, giving you no time to act! "Now would you kindly...."

Punk 2014/05/18(Sun)17:53 No. 574977 ID: f93bc2
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"..Sign here please." Your squire holds a deed before you, the deed to the fortress. "You should've just mentioned that you wanted to take over the fortress, silly. I've been looking to secede from the kingdom for months! Just haven't found any takers for the fort!" Oh. You think to yourself, how underwhelming. You sign. Shake hands. And successfully take the fort. A legend finished. A job well done.

Punk 2014/05/18(Sun)17:53 No. 574978 ID: f93bc2
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The End.

Punk 2014/05/18(Sun)17:54 No. 574979 ID: f93bc2
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BUT NOT REALLY!!! A PISSED OFF voice THUNDERS from the distance, shaking the entire fortress! "WHAAAAAT!!!??? THAT'S SUCH A SHITTY ENDING!!!!"

Punk 2014/05/18(Sun)17:54 No. 574980 ID: f93bc2
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You rush to the window and look outside your heart dropping at the sight you behold.

Punk 2014/05/18(Sun)17:54 No. 574981 ID: f93bc2
File 140046087476.png - (141.89KB , 600x600 , pg72.png )

There, coming over the forest horizon is your god, AZ THE AEGIS SHREDDER riding upon his steed, MEGLAHORSE THE SUFFERER, it's massive hooves tearing craters in the ground below. "THAT ENDING ISN'T NEARLY BADASS ENOUGH!!! I WON'T ALLOW IT!!" The god of all BADASSES is coming your way. What do you do?

Accept your dread God's challenge. The avatar of badassitude will fight the god of all badasses for the very essence of badass itself.

Start by transforming your new fortress into a giant castle-mech so you are of appropriate size to fight.

>>574982
I cannot improve on this suggestion.

>>574981
He wants a more badass ending? I'm sure killing the god of all badasses would suffice. Seconding the Ultra Castle Battle-mech idea, don't forget to add lasers or flamethrowers.

Does this fort have a catapult?
The fort isn't a weapon, its the prize. Launch yourself over the walls and unhorse that God.

Alternatively, just keep him out in the sun. That fucker is pale, he'll get all crispy in no time.

Make sure the lasers and/or flamethrowers are crafted from the corpse of Dora duplicated endless times via sheer badassery. Get a dead-baby macross missile massacre up in this bitch.

Wait! What if this was the scribe's plan all along? To lure you here and just hand over the fort without a fight to force Az to appear? Maybe this is a plot to kill the god of badasses!

>>574982
This is pretty much the only reasonable course of action here.
Obviously we gotta start with a dramatic-tension rising staredown, like in those rad old westerns.

Punk 2014/05/23(Fri)17:29 No. 575544 ID: f93bc2
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There is only one solution. You have to battle your god. You instruct your loyal(?) scribe to take notes carefully. He abides.

Punk 2014/05/23(Fri)17:29 No. 575545 ID: f93bc2
File 140089138380.png - (91.31KB , 600x600 , pg74.png )

Using sheer force of will, you force your new fortress into a gigantic battle-mech in order to stand on equal ground as your god. You and your faithful men now pilot...

Punk 2014/05/23(Fri)17:30 No. 575546 ID: f93bc2
File 140089140863.png - (142.56KB , 600x600 , pg75.png )

THE MAJORIS BAD RIDAH

AZ appears very ready for battle, but MEGLAHORSE begins to sweat at the prospect of wicked mech fights. What a bitch. What will be your SICK ACTION FIGHT MOVES?

>>575546
Bitches have no place in this battle of the ages! UBER STONE ROCKET PUNCH the FUCK out of Meglahorse's bitchass head!

Follow this up with a shot from your PELVIC-THRUST ACTIVATED DICK CANNON

>>575560
also, favicon is up in the thread for review. enjoy, m8

You need a weapon to cross swords with your god.

Is there a nearby mountain we could rip one out of or something?

>>575571
You see that ground?
Punch it, sending shockwaves of badassitude towards Az. Then, pull out a badass sword, either gleaming steel or encrusted with jewels the size of heads, out from the ground. THAT'S RIGHT WE PULL A SWORD OUT OF THE VERY EARTH ITSELF!

I don't know, can we get away with literally pulling our dick out and cockslapping Az in the face with it? There is no higher expression of badassness than this move, but it's risky.

Punk 2014/10/29(Wed)22:34 No. 599810 ID: cf5f21
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BITCHES GET STITCHES!! UBER STONE..

Punk 2014/10/29(Wed)22:34 No. 599811 ID: cf5f21
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ROCKET PUNCHUUUUUUU!!!!

Punk 2014/10/29(Wed)22:34 No. 599812 ID: cf5f21
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MEGLAHORSE flies into the distance, crashing through trees as he grinds to a halt upon the earth. But wait, where is AZ?!

Punk 2014/10/29(Wed)22:35 No. 599813 ID: cf5f21
File 141464730047.png - (140.05KB , 600x600 , pg79.png )

A surprise attack!!

Punk 2014/10/29(Wed)22:35 No. 599814 ID: cf5f21
File 141464731883.png - (143.04KB , 600x600 , pg80.png )

NO CHANCE! PELVIC-THRUST ACTIVATED...

Punk 2014/10/29(Wed)22:35 No. 599815 ID: cf5f21
File 141464733003.png - (105.53KB , 600x600 , pg81.png )

DIIIIICK CANNONNNNN!!!!!!!

Punk 2014/10/29(Wed)22:35 No. 599817 ID: cf5f21
File 141464734484.png - (228.82KB , 600x600 , pg82.png )

He takes the brunt of your mighty attack, but doesn't fall. "AHAHAHAHAHA! PERFECT!" He comments in mad elation, preparing to charge you.

>>599817
Clearly you must catch his sword in both hands and begin a POWER STRUGGLE. Mash B to win and toss his sword away! Then mash B some more to throw punches faster than he can!

>>599820
You know what would be more badass? TANKING. As in, grabbing hold of that sword WITH YOUR BODY (as in letting Az stab you), catching Az flat-footed. Then go do the Cherno Alpha Beatdown, mixed with the Fist of North Star on Az' ass.

>>599836
I really can't suggest a more badass thing to do, so do this

>>599836
No, you must parry the sword with your FACE!

No, you must catch the sword with your teeth and EAT IT!!!

>>599820
Totally seconding this as our next move.

also WOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE THIS QUEST

Jump out of your mech, land in that guys skull, and hijack his brain so you can use him as zombie thrall.

Trip him over and laugh. Nothing is more badass than belittling another person.

Punk 2014/11/11(Tue)11:27 No. 601541 ID: ac3f4f
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>Clearly you must catch his sword in both hands and begin a POWER STRUGGLE.

Yes! You quickly manuvuer and catch his sword in your BARE giant robot HANDS!!

>Mash B to win and toss his sword away!

YES! YOU WILL PROVE WHO THE MOST BADASS IS BY MASHING B AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE! B-BUT... You don't seem to be winning!! The MAJORIS BAD RIDAH doesn't seem to be strong enough to compete against AZ'S button mashing skills!! He must have been amazing at that torture scene in MGS: Peace Walker! Fuck that sequence, man!!

Punk 2014/11/11(Tue)11:27 No. 601542 ID: ac3f4f
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>You know what would be more badass? TANKING. As in, grabbing hold of that sword WITH YOUR BODY

You release your grip and the sword immediately stabs deeply into MAJORIS BAD RIDAH, AZ seems surprised.

Punk 2014/11/11(Tue)11:27 No. 601543 ID: ac3f4f
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Your two lackies- er, friends look on you in shock.. They don't know..

Punk 2014/11/11(Tue)11:28 No. 601544 ID: ac3f4f
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That this is what you were waiting for!

>Then mash B some more to throw punches faster than he can!

>Fist of North Star on Az' ass.

Punk 2014/11/11(Tue)11:29 No. 601546 ID: ac3f4f
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AZ lies in a heap, bloody and beaten, he looks to you and speaks words you won't forget for the rest of your life.

Punk 2014/11/11(Tue)11:30 No. 601547 ID: ac3f4f
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"F..F...FAGGET..! YOU WON'T.. GET AWAY WITH THIS... MY... MY DAD WORKS AT NINTENDO... F..FUCK YOU... I CAN GET YOU... BANNED FROM THE SERVER IF I WANT..."

Punk 2014/11/11(Tue)11:30 No. 601548 ID: ac3f4f
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And with that, the glory and majesty of AZ THE AEGIS SHREDDER passes on from this existence. You proclaim that you've truly won your fort, in victory. To this, BLACK LOVE LUGO speaks up..

"But.. But the fort is..."

Punk 2014/11/11(Tue)11:30 No. 601549 ID: ac3f4f
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Oh. Balls.

Punk 2014/11/11(Tue)11:30 No. 601550 ID: ac3f4f
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THE END.

>>601550
It's okay! YOU CAN REBUILD IT! Make it better, stronger... faster?

That was Sofa King good.