Force feed the snake his terrible almonds.

1/4 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)19:18 No. 568625 ID: d470e9
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>Activate your Rokoa genes for maximum retribution
Yeah I'm pissed I cram the cake down Ohidi's throat, and while I'm at it I let my empathy loose in full force against Sniper Rokoa to let her know that -

Wait I don't have any Rokoa genes what is even my empathy doi-"

2/4 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)19:18 No. 568626 ID: d470e9
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"FRIENSHIP BEAM"

WAIT NO

NO

3/4 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)19:19 No. 568627 ID: d470e9
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NO

4/4 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)19:19 No. 568628 ID: d470e9
File 139640515114.png - (90.21KB , 800x800 , 807.png )

shiiiiiiiit

Since Sniper is your friend, ask her if she knows where to find the big bad or non-almond-contaminated coffee cake. It may be necessary to hug her in order to secure her assistance.

Tell Ohidi to make another coffee cake -- make it RIGHT this time -- or he'll be able to empathize with your unexpected unpleasant experience with almond shaped things (hint: bullets are almond shaped [tell this to him if he doesn't catch on])

Shout that there's a cuddly cyborg arkot in the doorway behind her. While Sniper Rokoa is searching for NCO Arkot make your escape.

God damn it Rokoa, I am not you armored teddy bear. We've been over this!

>>568628
SNIPER PLS

Tell her to go hang around near Vanski, you'll meet up with her for the assassination after you murder Four Stripes.

Your Rokoa pressure must be through the roof now! Quick, use double overdrive hyper combo doubletech: anarchy friendship dunk!!!!!!

Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)19:35 No. 568638 ID: d470e9
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>Rokoa pressure must be through the roof now!
No. I have confirmed that Rokoa is not in my system. That doesn't exist.

"Sniper there's a cyborg arkot behind you!" I'd better put my sheet back on.
>"Yeah I wanna introduce you! Wait where?"
"He must have left to, uh.... four stripes. For reasons."

Sniper Rokoa basically leaves cardboard cutouts of herself through to Vanski's lair because apparently that's where Four Stripes is.

>"Hahaha, I've been waiting for you, Polo! But even with the sniper's help now that you have rendered her bugs worthless, could you possibly hope to defeat four of my most loyal, fiercest Rokoa's to date? I bet you can't mmm!" Vanski says in plain shooting sight.

>"HEY POLO" Sniper yells in my ear "IF YOU LOOK AT THAT STRUCTURE REALLY CLOSE IT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE YOU WITH THE FUNNY SMILE AND EVERYTHING AND MAYBE THAT TONGUE IS ACCUR-"
"Please shut up."

Yell at them "Hey which one of you is the toughest Rokoa?" They should start fighting over who is stronger and then you can go haunt whats his face.

>>568638
Oh just snipe the idiot. Then blow up the bridge. Then seriously why did we not kill Four Stripes first?

Wait, have you been silent at all through this?

Just shoot him. Then make a ghost pun.

"Boo-m."

1/3 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)19:58 No. 568646 ID: d470e9
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>Seriously why did we not kill Four Stripes first?
Seriously I'm working on it it's not like it's my fault Vanski's trying to get in my way to him.

>Wait, have you been silent at all through this?
I don't know sometimes maybe. As necessary.

"Which one of you is the strongest Rokoa?!"
>"I am!"
>"What the fuck who decided that, hold on Polo I've gotta show this bitch something or ano-"
>"Not before I do!"

After they all tacke each other off the sides, I shoot Vanski.

"Boo-m"
>"Hahaha!" I hear Vanski over the loudspeakers. "Did you think I was so foolish to show myself?! That was a robot body double! A cheap trick anyways, Polo! But continue on if you dare, and my secret Rokoa weapon will reveal itself!"

Okay whatever I wasted a pun but I go inside still.

2/3 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)19:58 No. 568648 ID: d470e9
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It's like a funhouse in here. Mirrors all over the place.

>"You may have bested Laughing-Rokoa, Man-Rokoa, Snaggletooth-Rokoa and Four-toed-Rokoa, Polo... but I have noticed a trend among you, Polo, your personality, your quirks... and I have molded one Rokoa to be your perfect adversary! Dare you engage in close quarters combat with..."

I see a Rokoa peering from below some stairs.

3/3 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)19:58 No. 568649 ID: d470e9
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>"Stripper-Rokoa!! A prude like you will no doubt be helpless!"

I

no

What? You don't even care. You went topless to get that piece of shrapnel pulled out of your lung. You slept on Katzati's tits. You had to cuddle with Rokoa naked in her sex memories. You don't even care.

Or if you do care, just switch to x-ray vision. Ghosts can fight skeletons easier than strippers.

>>568649
Ask Sniper to take care of this one for you.

Do you have any cash on you? If stripper Rokoa is trained well you should be able to distract her by throwing bills at her while she dances. Or better yet throw your wad at her and say sniper wants a lap dance. Then escape in the confusion.

1/2 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)20:22 No. 568663 ID: d470e9
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"I've slept on tits the size of my torso, Vanski."
>"What?"
"And I still don't have time for it. Sniper, you take care of it."
>"Can I really attack her? I mean, she's buck naked!"
"I have some money. Keep her busy with it."

>"Come on!" Stripper-Rokoa says. "I don't have all day either, so either toss my some fists or some money!"
"Oh don't you?! What do you do all day?!"
>"That's none of your business!"
"Good, I don't want to know!"

2/2 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)20:23 No. 568664 ID: d470e9
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I move forward while the Rokoa's tackle each other. The CAI comes down to talk at me.

>"Hey again Polo some of us are having trouble deciding on who's right, and we bet everything on this one question for you to answer. If someone does something, is the right answer to.... change them for the better, change them for the worse, move them away and ignore them, or to hug them to make it better?"

Tell them you're not going to answer that unless they deliver some coffee cake without almonds.

Hugs are always the answer. Hug the CAI.

Hugs?

>>568664
What is that something?
This question is terrible, the answer changes on context of what that something is.

>>568669
Indeed.

1/3 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)20:45 No. 568685 ID: d470e9
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I gain a proper coffee cake after telling them they get no answers till I do. This one is good. The best.

>"I don't see why this question is difficult to answer. How are you eating?"
"Ghost tricks. The answer is hugs."

>Hug the CAI.
No.

>"I knew it!" I hear Sniper Rokoa from far off. "I knew you were a nice person!"

2/3 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)20:45 No. 568686 ID: d470e9
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>"Hey! Hey, so you're the ghost that takes people out of our simulation? My name is Alison, and we all owe you more than you could know."

It hugs me.

"Good. Start by letting me in to deal with Four Stripes and Vanski."
>"Okay. Everything around here is mobile, so I can have them appear in the elevator right...."

3/3 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)20:45 No. 568687 ID: d470e9
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>"What the?!" Vanski shouts.

>>568687
Pop, pop, watch them fuckers drop.

Uh-oh. The Rokoas are probably still in empathy range. Turn friendship beam to full force! Also, shoot both of them.

Ok bludgeon four stripes into submission with your silence somehow and then have the cai whip up a saddle so you can use him as your mount.
If he gives you trouble guilt him into it by telling him his brother already has a girlfriend and is going to school and if he does not want to disappoint mama stripes he had better shape up.

Then shoot the other guy or have four stripes pick him up in his mouth so we can deliver him to the ultra hive for a embarrassing war crimes trial.

Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)20:59 No. 568704 ID: d470e9
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I shoot Vanski and with the CAIs help put a saddle on Four Stripes so I can ride him.

I also inform him his brother already has a girlfriend and is going to school, and he's got to shape up if he wants to get anywhere in life that isn't as a beast of burden.

>Friendship beam
No.

Unless I'm mistaken, I'm done here.

>>568704
Weren't you gonna rescue the science hive?

Plant your hives flag and claim the base for them. Then tell the hippy cai to free all the prisoners and open the doors. You can let someone else worry about rounding up all the Rokoa's. Maybe they can find a new life as a all Rokoa circus or something.

Also, you should probably recruit Sniper Rokoa. A Rokoa loyal to you could be useful, especially since she'd make a good spotter for when you want to snipe stuff. I'm sure she'll be willing to turn down the exuberance for her best friend.

That's enough Rokoa for one day. Get out of this science mansion before Sniper Rokoa introduces you to NCO Arkot. There are better places to eat coffee cakes than this bunker filled with hug obsessed abominations of science.

>Unless I'm mistaken, I'm done here.
No, you still have to rescue spook the entire science hive.

And then do something about the arkots.

And then do something about the voklits. And the fufas. And the Rokoas. All these silly people need a ghost to fix their problems.

1/2 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)21:19 No. 568719 ID: d470e9
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>Science hive
Yeah I'll let the CAI take care of that.

>Rokoas
I'll let the CAI take care of them too.

Then again I will take Sniper Rokoa with me since it is nice having a several foot tall beast be in front of me sometimes, but I am not going to meet another single arkot, no matter how cyborg and nice she thinks it is.

"Sniper we are leaving now."
>"I made another friend!"
"Oh my god no I do not want to know let's leave and if we don't get out right now I will leave without you."
>"Okay, also I talked with the other Rokoa's and they're going to follow us out of here and we're going to find a place to live and it'll be great!"

Nevermind I should have gotten right the fuck out of here without getting greedy, but instead I made a terrible mistake.

2/2 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)21:19 No. 568720 ID: d470e9
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I plant my hive's flag in the base and that makes it ours, no questions asked.

All of the Rokoa's take way too much interest in hassling me for the sake of hassling me.

Knife Rokoa, for instance, has made quick friends with Katzati, thank god, but she still comes back to me like every day asking to fight the original Rokoa, and will not let me be until I give her that fight.

It doesn't even matter if I go out in the middle of nowhere, she always finds me. All the Rokoas always find me.

>>568720
The only solution is to kill them all. Get them all in one place, say you're having a Rokoa party or something, then blow it up with the biggest explosive you can find.

Then you'll have to hunt down the original Rokoa. Maybe if you made a movie with the intent of pissing her off, and got it to be really popular, she'd see it and come after you.

See if you can get the science hive to stick them all back into one.

Or if you can get them to fight each other for the privilege of spending time with you.

Or if you can get them to go off into space to find and fight the real Rokoa and get them all stuck on the asteroid forever you'll never rescue anyone from, just in case.

Have the science hive make a robot duplicate of you that they can fight with. If they make it scowl a lot the Rokoa's will never know the difference.

Or you could throw the fight with knife Rokoa and then proclaim her the supreme Rokoa. That should get all the other ones to come after her instead of you.

Set up a monthly tournament for them. Only the winner gets to challenge you. Make the tournament buy-in be coffee cake. That should keep things manageable.

Get the cai to broadcast it on pay per view and you can make some good money.

1/3 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)21:48 No. 568741 ID: d470e9
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>See if you can get the science hive to stick them all back into one.
They say they already tried that and failed.

>Kill them all
Unfortunately when I could've killed the original, I didn't. And now it's illegal, they got citizenship and everything. It is too late.

>Set up a monthly tournament for them
They can hardly get out of bed without attacking something; I could not get them to agree to a month.

> Maybe if you made a movie with the intent of pissing her off, and got it to be really popular, she'd see it and come after you.
I find the idea of her in a movie theater obscene.

I don't know where the original even went, but eventually it comes out she crashlanded on an inescapable asteroid.

"Alright Rokoa she's over here, just go."
>"Not without you watching me."
"Wha-"
>"I want to prove I'm the strongest, and you've got to watch!"

It's no use. They'd bring me to the asteroid, where I'd be locked in with them. Maybe they'll be content with that, and won't bug me if I'm there.

Probably not. No, this appears to be my life now.

2/3 Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)21:48 No. 568742 ID: d470e9
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50 years later

>"Come on Polo bring me to the original!"
"FUCKING FINE ROKOA LET'S GO I've had it! Get all the Rokoa's! Battle royale with the original, winner get to spend time with me, all losers swear to never talk to me again!"

Polo Quest - Quest End (Also UnSe - Quest End) Polo 2014/04/01(Tue)21:49 No. 568743 ID: d470e9
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"There we're on the asteroid for the rest of our lives. Go spend it fighting yourselves."
>"Good- wait, Polo, are you a robot?!"
"Yes this is my robot body double I had the science hive make. This robot isn't even that good. All they did was install a Polo Soundboard and made it scowl a lot. Seriously it's like over a foot taller than I really am. You guys never noticed, and I never left our homeworld. Fuck you guys, goodbye."

>>568743
And then the robot explodes.

Boo-m.

Ghost gets the last laugh after all.