...I just had a horrible thought: What if the wraith possessing Horus' body ditches it because it's trapped in the rubble and jumps to Thaark's corpse?

Ask Temrock if wraiths need line of sight on a corpse to possess it or if they just need to be nearby. If it's the latter then ask if a wraith can and will release possession and jump to another corpse if the body it's in is totally stuck.

Kaktus 2014/03/07(Fri)07:48 No. 565527 ID: 549d6c
File 139420729991.png - (15.95KB , 900x450 , 76.png )

>[Switch to The Pebble or The Thief]
[There isn’t enough updates left in this thread to switch to “The Pebble”. Please wait for the next thread.]
>Can't we just unclaim Thuul?
[You can only unclaim one pawn every 24 hours. Additionally, you can’t claim a pawn you’ve unclaimed before those 24 hours has run out. This does not include death and resurrections.]
>[claim Temrock as a pawn if available and unclaimed]
[Do you wish to claim the queen piece “Heir of savagery”? You have one pawn slot left. Y/N?]

>Gods fuckin' dammit! How the fuck did Thaark and Thuul miss their escort?! What the hell happened after lunch? Where was the miscommunication?
Well, going by Thaark’s usual pridefulness, it’s possible that I deliberately missed the escort to do this himself. Theen usually stops him but… yeah…
>You're going to need a doctor for this trip; Preferably one skilled in emergency medicine.
We got a medic with us, lad. He’s good enough to stabilize anything survivable.
>Bring Tera.
Are you sure? I rather have someone a bit more… skillful when it comes to combat. We can’t babysit a blind lass if we get into a fight out there.
Hey! I can take care of myself!
>Tell Temrock that the site has a wraith in it, and I think it's a powerful one.
A wraith? Hmm… I better plan ahead, then.
>Ask Temrock if wraiths need line of sight on a corpse to possess it or if they just need to be nearby.
They just need to be close, lad. But it’s weak when it has a new body… nothing more than a sitting duck for the first hour.
>Just go, time is of the essence!
We’ll ‘ead out as soon as you’re ready. Now… who’s coming with me? ...or do I get another set of voices?
Another set?
Aye, I used to ‘ave one of those voices in me ‘ead a few years ago… called himself Red… don’t know what happened to him, though. Just went silence like an old battlefield one day. So, what will it be, eh lad?

Insert Oh, my accent is slipping!_

Temrock is Red's old queen piece? Claim the shit out of him!

Well Temrock has proven faithful, useful, and is an all around decent fellow when it comes down to it. Claim him.

Here's hoping he can fit- and before someone cracks a joke, I'm serious- he's apparently made it to Queen status, and we've only a pawn slot remaining-that really might cause issues.

With that said? I think Tera should come along. Provided she doesn't go anywhere without someone to look after her.

Red's former queen piece? Hell yeah we'll claim that! [Claim "Heir of Savagery"] Welcome to the team, Temrock. We'll have some things to say and some questions to ask you about Red soon.

Ilbir, Tera, I have a strong feeling there's going to be combat on this trip and neither of you are fighters. Walking you two into a probable combat situation would be foolish of us, so you both should stay behind. Besides, Ilbir, you've got an appointment tonight you don't want to miss, right?

Ilbir, please arrange for the best necromancer available to be ready to work on Thaark as soon as he arrives. Theen should have some cash stashed away for this, but we'll ask Jer and Eliraz to cover most, if not all, of it. And since Thaark was an agent of Lord Jericho and it could be said he was killed in service to the Serath Kingdom would the state chip in at least a bit as well?

Tera, unless you, and only you, can do something out there that'll increase the chances that raising Thaark will bring him back with his mind intact, you should stay here. You can speak with Theen and get him to write down stuff about Thaark to focus on for his raising, then help with the prep for it.

If there's anything a necromancer can do out there to improve the odds Thaark's raising is successful then Temrock should bring along a... "Field necromancer?" Just one that has some combat skill and isn't so "squishy."

Oh, and a mirrors or other reflective item along, Temrock. We can summon a weapon that can kick a wraith out of a body and so the wraith can be destroyed, but no way to see it once it's loose other than reflections. We'll need to do that to clear Thaark's corpse if the wraith took it.

Kaktus 2014/03/07(Fri)10:29 No. 565536 ID: 549d6c
File 139421697107.png - (9.30KB , 900x450 , 77.png )

>Claim the shit out of him!
[Unable to claim the shit out of “Heir of Savagery” as he’s just taken a dump. Instead you’ll have to be content in just claiming “Heir of savagery” as a normal pawn.]
[“Heir of savagery” has been claimed!]

>Welcome to the team, Temrock. We'll have some things to say and some questions to ask you about Red soon.
(Let’s hope you’re a better leader then Red, lad.)

>Ilbir, Tera, I have a strong feeling there's going to be combat on this trip and neither of you are fighters. Walking you two into a probable combat situation would be foolish of us, so you both should stay behind.
Right, I’m staying.
Aw, you guys are no fun…
>Ilbir, please arrange for the best necromancer available to be ready to work on Thaark as soon as he arrives.
I’ll see what I can do.
>Tera, speak with Theen and get him to write down stuff about Thaark to focus on for his raising, then help with the prep for it.
On it!
>If there's anything a necromancer can do out there to improve the odds Thaark's raising is successful then Temrock should bring along a... "Field necromancer?"
We do have combat necromancers, yes. I’ll bring one with me to make sure the corpses don’t start to rot.
>Oh, and a mirrors or other reflective items.
I’ve fought Wraiths before, lad.

…

>Go!
…let me guess, the ruins are just over the next sand dune?
I thinks so, why do you a- oh… that’s… that’s a Skrang… what is a Skrang doing this close to the capital?
Better question is, why is jumping around on the same spot, lad…
How did that thing even get here!? Those things aren’t supposed to be able to leave their normal hunting grounds!
I can smell death…
Why do you necromancers always have to be so bloody gloomy all the time!?
No seriously, I can smell a corpse… and it’s close.

Insert They are always all DEATH and GLOOM and DOOM. Stupid emo necromancers…_

>>565536
Incoming spears! Dodge!

The Skrang is probably right over the ruins, which explains why they collapsed. I think Horus set up some sort of Skrang-attractor, like something that creates a repetitive noise. Maybe thumping the ground... like a "thumper"?

>Let’s hope you’re a better leader then Red, lad.
Well, for one thing, we don't force people to obey our orders. And we're generally interested in making things better for people. If you want a second opinion, the sultan had dealings with Red, and indirectly with us.

>what's the worm doing?
Is that thing digging up the site or something? (We could always switch there to check, and then switch back?).

*thinks*
...If a Skrang died, and a necromancer reanimated it...Could it be brought back to life and controlled?
Because if that's plausible crap's gonna hit the fan for us AND blue.

Kaktus 2014/03/07(Fri)11:10 No. 565543 ID: 549d6c
File 139421940946.png - (10.24KB , 900x450 , 78.png )

>...If a Skrang died, and a necromancer reanimated it...Could it be brought back to life and controlled?
They are too big. There’s no way a necromancer can be powerful enough to reanimate something like that… at least, not a mortal necromancer at least.
>Well, for one thing, we don't force people to obey our orders. And we're generally interested in making things better for people.
Better for whom? There are a lot of people around and most have different views of what “better” is.
>Is that thing digging up the site or something?
No, it looks like it’s just… jumping around in a circle…
>I think Horus set up some sort of Skrang-attractor, like something that creates a repetitive noise.
Even if he did, the nearest Skrang spot is hours from here on a raptor. There’s no way he should have lured one thi-

>Incoming spears! Dodge!
GET DOWN!!!
*Tock*Tock*Tock*
…bah, and here I was hoping that I would lure out your king Teal… I guess I’ll just have to be content killing some more of your pawns.
Horus…
I’m sorry, but Horus been dead for months…
So you really are a Wraith then…
Ha, Wraith!? I shit Wraiths for breakfast! No, I’m something far worse… I do believe your people usually call me… “The Dark one”…
…Daemon…
In a sense, yes… this one is more like… pawn of a Daemon… a pawn to me, like you and your voices. Now, I’ve already had my fill of stupid mortals today so I’ll make all of you a deal. Everyone who isn’t a pawn can run for your pathetic little life and I’ll let you live. You’re irrelevant to the big picture anyway… no, I’m only here for the pawn… Temrock, was it? I hope you’re ready to die. Now, any last words?
…

I believe I have a plan… If I’m right about what he is. Distract him… give me time!

Insert *Swooosh!**Battle music*_

>>565543
(hmm, so ask him lots of questions, maybe? We're good at that.)
Horus, what are your goals? Don't you know the Daemon race will die out from starvation if you insist on feeding on fear and pain instead of hope? How does a Daemon even possess someone like you're doing with Horus? Why were you helping Mor'Kay? Do you know what Mor'Kay is, even?

You wouldn't happen to know who Bob and Steve are, would you? Oh, by the way, Steve says hi.

[after he's done answering questions, summon Spear of Light, wield it ourselves to attack Horus!]

What the hell is his endgame? After he's eaten everyone, how does he plan to survive?

If all else fails, you better have enough last words handy to keep him distracted.

Temrock, order everyone else to keep going to the ruins and complete the mission. At least that can come of this. ...Wait a sec. Temrock, how do you know Horus?

Alright, Dark One, how did Horus end up your "pawn?" How'd you get him out of the ruins after the collapse? Would our pawn had made it out if we had told him to take the keystone and run? How did you know when and where to lay the trap with the keystone? How did that skrang get over here? Why is it jumping around in the same spot? What caused the two "earthquakes" in the ruins? Did you know what was in Jericho's locket? Were you the daemon imprisoned in the Marches? Was the lesser rune taken from the Marches part of the seal on your prison? A prison? What exactly did you do at Then’dranil? Do you literally shit wraiths? Who's pawn was Aviris? Why is Mor'Kay helping you? What the heck is Mor'Kay? How can you change the future if you've already seen it? What killed the old gods? What killed the new gods? What were the gods? Do you know what we are? Because Bob doesn't.

And, lastly, you're a massive shitbrick for basically wanting to doom all the other daemons and screw over this world because you can't stand bland food. Fuck you.

[Continually summon Spear of Light to random positions in the way of and above Horus, point towards him]
[Check corruption level]

Hoo man... Hey, Dude, like so I had a thought- maybe screwing over the physical world isn't a bright idea?
Like sure, hope is bland, but bland food beats no food right?
Aaaand speaking of bland...
[Nom Horus]

send the rest of these guy's to the rune we need to grab our guy and the dead guy or this would have all been for not.

and as for Horus, why are you targeting us specifically? I mean what makes us stand out from the other players other then the fact that we're adorable little squids. Is it because we're cute, is that why you hate us, because we're too cute?

Kaktus 2014/03/07(Fri)14:01 No. 565550 ID: 549d6c
File 139422966538.png - (5.94KB , 900x450 , 79.png )

>Temrock, how do you know Horus?
From wanted posters, mostly.
>Temrock, order everyone else to keep going to the ruins and complete the mission.
No, that would ruin my plan…
You heard him men, mount up and head back to the city. Oh, and tell my wife I want something spicy for dinner… I’m in the mood for something hot.
Yes, commander.
Cute.

>Horus, what are your goals?
What is this? I told you to say your last words, not play twenty questions. Why would I ever answer your questions?
Because you’re a smug asshole that has to gloat how utterly outmatched I am?
True… you are really outmatched… hmm… fine, a few questions then. I’m sure your friend will learn a lot from me. So, my goal? Why, Freedom for my people, that’s my goal.
>How does a Daemon even possess someone like you're doing with Horus?
Oh, I simply liberated this shell and am now using it like a puppet… you know, one of those things with strings…
You ate him…
Well, if you want to be pessimistic about it.
>How'd you get him out of the ruins after the collapse?
Why, my pet Skrang dug me out… of course, I would have been grateful if it wasn’t for its constant digging that caused the cave-in in the first place.

>Would our pawn have made it out if we had told him to take the keystone and run?
Probably, I was stuck behind a wall after all and it took nearly a fifteen minutes for that stupid Skrang to dig me out.
>How did you know when and where to lay the trap with the keystone?
Funny you would ask, I didn’t. I was there simply there to get the key stone, then suddenly, look and behold, pawns to kill!
>Why were you helping Mor'Kay?
I’m not. Our plan simply interweaves until the end.
>Do you know what Mor'Kay is, even?
She’s a fool, that what she is. Her whole cause is pointless in the end and she will play no part in this story at all. Irrelevant, completely irrelevant.
>Were you the daemon imprisoned in the Marches?
Huh? Where did yo- no, there aren’t any daemons imprisoned anywhere. The seal are meant to keep our world locked away from yours, nothing more.
>What the hell is your endgame?
Let’s not ruin the surprise, shall we?
>What exactly did you do at Then’dranil?
As I said, surprise.
>After he's eaten everyone, how does he plan to survive?
I’m not going to eat you all. You’re like cattle, meant to be imprisoned and milked.

>Do you literally shit wraiths?
Of course not. Wraiths are souls of the death corrupted by my touch.
>Who's pawn was Aviris?
Mine, of course.
>How can you change the future if you've already seen it?
There is more than one future… and in most of them, I win.
>What killed the old gods?
I’m not entirely sure… they just… died one day… and then the dark times began… and then… the awakening. The time when we became… aware… sentient…
>What killed the new gods?
The “New gods” are just myth and legends. Nothing more. Now, I’m getting tired of answering your question. How about we-
*Twang!*

Kaktus 2014/03/07(Fri)14:01 No. 565551 ID: 549d6c
File 139422968456.png - (5.87KB , 900x450 , 80.png )

…so you ordered your men to flank me and fill my back with crossbow bolts? Cute… real cute… but pointless. Either way, I like your style, so before I murder your men because of this pathetic attempt at trickery, I’ll give you… let’s say… three… no, four more questions.

>Do you know what we are?
No… Gods maybe? Or something far worse?
>why are you targeting us specifically?
Because you’re a threat.
>Is it because we're cute, is that why you hate us, because we're too cute?
…you are a bit… cute, I admit. But no, that would be stupid.
>You wouldn't happen to know who Bob and Steve are, would you?
I’m looking forward to the day when I’ll see them starved to the point of madness…
>Oh, by the way, Steve says hi.
Tell him to go fuck himself… him and his mortal wives.

>Lastly, you're a massive shitbrick for basically wanting to doom all the other daemons and screw over this world because you can't stand bland food. Fuck you.
…what? WHAT!? WHAT HAVE THOSE- Those… those lying sons of a- No! You got it all wrong! I’m the one fighting for all the daemons! They are the tyrants! The enslavers! …let me guess, He told you about the grape and bread, didn’t he? *Sigh* …it’s the other way around. Negative emotions are more filling while positive taste better. They enslave us, starve us, and force us to work while they gorge on all the positive emotions! I simply wish to feed my people. Feed them so they can regain their strength and fight back! FOR FREEDOM! FOR LI-

Kaktus 2014/03/07(Fri)14:01 No. 565552 ID: 549d6c
File 139422970021.png - (6.15KB , 900x450 , 81.png )

*BOOM!*
shi- explosive arro-

Kaktus 2014/03/07(Fri)14:01 No. 565553 ID: 549d6c
File 139422970845.png - (5.71KB , 900x450 , 82.png )

>summon Spear of Light!
*Slice!*
AAAH!!!

Kaktus 2014/03/07(Fri)14:01 No. 565554 ID: 549d6c
File 139422971762.png - (7.31KB , 900x450 , 83.png )

[You’ve successfully slain a puppet controlled by “The Dark One”!]
…heh, I have to say, nice one… but it doesn’t matter… I’ll be back soon enough… and then you’ll burn… just like the rest of you slaver scum…

HOLY CRAP, DID WE JUST KILL A DAEMON!?
A puppet of a daemon, yes…

Insert Temrock wins! Flawless victory!_

NICE ONE TEMROCK!
Unfortunately the Skrang is kind of coming and I dunno if it's time to run like mad or time to hold REALLY still and pray it doesn't eat you.

Yeah well you're still a shitbrick, so take your 'greater good' back to hell with you.

That Skrang is getting closer, everyone lie still and silent. As soon as he decides to fuck off, move to save our mercs.

'slaver scum' again? Is Blue working with the Dark One? Still, the fact that Steve lied is disconcerting. The whole mortal wives thing also does not bode well.

a war within a war, heh glad to see things are working up to our normal levels of fucked.

anyways how long do we have to wait until the skrang leaves cause I would like to get to the ruin before our guy bleeds out. We lost on man already and I'll be damned if we lose another.

>Better for who?
For those we're in a position to help. We're not naive idealists, and I know we can't help everyone, and that standards conflict. But we are in a position to do right where we can, which is all anyone can do.

Thanks for trusting us enough to see through that conflict.

Temrock, if I had any doubt about claiming you it would have just evaporated. Good show! And lemme guess; What you were right about him was that he was a smug asshole, yes?

We still have a big problem. That undead skrang is inbound and I don't know whether it's still operating under it's master's last orders to hit your position or if it'll behave like a regular skrang now and head towards vibrations. You could try quickly asking the necromancer about that, but I don't think you have the time to.

I have a plan, but it hinges on your men still having explosive bolts. Order them to hold still. Tell the necromancer to start sensing for necromantic magics and point out the biggest concentration. Once he gets a fix on the skrang your men fire their bolts into the sand over its position. If it's not under orders it'll come up there. If it is still under orders then run and see if it follows you. If it still is then dive out of the way at the last second.

>>565556
I dunno if Blue and Eliros are working with the Dark One or not. Their strong hatred for slavers is similar but that could be coincidence. But what the Dark One said about Mor'Kay intrigues me. I think he's covering for something. We should make contact with her or Red soon.

If what the Dark One said about negative emotions is true, then even though he and his brethren are enslaved I don't think we can help them. To do so would harm so many in this world.

Kaktus 2014/03/07(Fri)15:31 No. 565563 ID: 549d6c
File 139423511757.png - (17.25KB , 900x450 , 84.png )

>Lemme guess; What you were right about him was that he was a smug asshole, yes?
…well, that and him being vulnerable to convenient weapons.
>We're not naive idealists, and I know we can't help everyone, and that standards conflict.
Then you’re smarter than Red, at least.

>That Skrang is getting closer, everyone lie still and silent.
…it doesn’t seem to work, I can feel it coming right for us.
>I have a plan, but it hinges on your men still having explosive bolts. Order them to hold still. Tell the necromancer to start sensing for necromantic magics and point out the biggest concentration.
Um… necromancy doesn’t work like that!
We got more explosive bolts on the raptors but…
We don’t have time, then.
>If it is still under orders then dive out of the way at the last second.
Well, I always wanted to kill one of these things…

Kaktus 2014/03/07(Fri)15:55 No. 565565 ID: 549d6c
File 139423652960.png - (6.47KB , 900x450 , Silly1.png )

And now, it’s time for: The Annual Maid Competition!

Why are we doing this again?
Because it’s the Maid day, of course!
Wasn’t that last week?
Shush…

First, Let us introduce our judges for this year! We present to you, five lizard of royalty... First, we have the lizard that went from rags to riches, his highness, his grace, duke of West Ul’dan, Lord Jericho Drah’kon the second, knight of the Serath army, lover of the prince, the antipode sorcerer supreme, mage apprentice and judger of maid outfits!
Is that really necessary?

Our second judge is the Prince of the Seraths, Eliraz Drah’kon!
Sister, what have you gotten us into this time?
…wait, why didn’t you get all those weird titles li-

Then we Durach, shaman of the wastes… technically royalty when Jericho gets married.
I don’t even know what I’m doing here…

And a warm welcome to the newcomer, Alex v-
Just Alexandra, alright?

And last, the founder of this event, Elizah Drah’kon, Heir to the throne of the Sera-
Yeah, yeah, let’s get this thing started. I really need some cheering up after Byarla cheated on me… that pig… and whore…

And last… THE VOICES OF THE MANY! …which thanks to being like a dozen voices will probably decide who wins in the end, making the other judges pointless *Cough*…

And now, for our contestant: Ann-Sofie, the only lady here.
The power of my boobs compels you to vote on me… and to give me candy!

Bradford the Savage!
Why did you guys force me to set up my beard?
Because it was blocking the view of your delicious chest, that’s why…

And lastly: Vladim-
OH GODS, HOW DID YOU GUYS CONVINCE ME TO DO THIS!? …and why is most of us guys!?
Because guys are cuter in maid outfits then girls~
I have to disagree with that…

Now, enough talk, it’s time to vote!

Insert …this is now officially “Fetish quest”… I feel dirty…_

>>565563
Godspeed, Temrock.

>>565565
Yeah I'm gonna have to vote for Anna here. Vlad just can't pull it off like Kevros, and I don't think anyone is going to survive voting for Bradford.

The shoes make it for Vladimir though, voting for the sexy pink tail!

>>565562
Well at least we know one emotion is tasty and unfilling, while the other is filling but tasteless.

Let's look at the facts. Bob said that he eats people alive to feed off their pain, which would be nonsensical if pain were unfilling. It would make more sense to trap someone in an illusion where they constantly are presented with more possibilities to escape, generating bursts of hope.

The Dark One said, without being prompted, that Thaark's hope was delicious. Also keep in mind there's no reason for him to tell us he's being enslaved because he considers us to be slavers. There is no reason for him to lie. Bob, on the other hand, wants us to believe he is doing the right thing. So, I think Bob is lying.

HOWEVER, this doesn't mean we should try to free the daemons. If the Dark One is any indication, they're not going to play nice with mortals. We need to keep as few demons active as possible. Optimally, I'd like to figure out how to outright kill them all or lock them out of the universe like they were before our four godly friends got inexplicably knocked off. For now, though, we should keep Bob and Steve on our side, and keep them thinking we're on their side.

>>565565
going to have to agree with Durach on this one, but just because out of the three of them I vote for Vlad because I want to see him have something good go for him after just losing his family AndBecauseIt'sFunnyToSeeHimSquirmCough

Also Because Anna wins by default for being the only girl and her good looks don't hurt things either so it's really just a match for runner up at this point.

Well that's a no-brainer, Bradford wins.

May god have mercy on us, for Bradford will not.

Actually, I change my vote to bradford. The beard rocks it.

While I'm all for uncovering Bradford's radiant manliness, a maid outfit is just wrong on him. Get him a pair of Saxton Hale short-shorts and a yeti to punch to death instead.

Elizah, you should clarify that lizard guys are the cutest in maid outfits; Prime eternal example being Kevros. That said, I'm voting for Anna. She's totally rocking that outfit, which is enough to edge ahead of Vlad even with his extra cuteness.

>>565572
And that's a vote for...?

>>565569
You got some of that wrong. Check >>564150. Bob said he needs to eat people to maintain a physical form in this world. Also, the emotion he prefers is fear, not pain. Pain is the Blood God's preferred emotion.

That said, I do agree locking the daemons out of this world would be for the best. That or finding a way to block the flow of mortal emotions to them. Or finding what killed the real gods or where they went and bringing them back to deal with the daemons.

>>565582
Ok, it was the fear as they are slowly digested. Along with the actual digestion. Actually lemme just go to questdis for other stuff.

Ann-Sofie wins on the basis of being the only maid who looks happy and ready to do maid stuff. That is important for a maid.

>five lizard of royalty
Oh hey, thanks for spoiling Alex's backstory.

Oh, and Vlad, by the way. We kind of have a thing for lizard guys in maid outfits that goes back a few thousand years. Epocs. Nothing personal, beardchest or perkytits.

>>565595
I thought it was fairly obvious, myself.

Kaktus 2014/03/08(Sat)06:24 No. 565618 ID: 549d6c
File 139428865008.png - (6.63KB , 900x450 , Silly2.png )

And it seems like our judges has made their decisions… so let’s hear it! Who do you vote for?

Bradford, of course! I mean, just look at those muscles and his broad chest. Just seeing his firm butt in that cute little getup makes me want to get some of my toys, bend him over and just pound that cu- Hey! Stop staring at me like that! It’s… it’s kind of scary… geez… if looks would kill…

I, on the other hand, vote for Vlad. Just look how cute he is!~ And the pink ribbon on the tail really sells it!

Anna, because boobs. I like boobs. There, happy?

Hmm… Bradford or Vlad… Vlad is cute but… you can probably cut meat on the six-pack Brad is sporting.
I don’t even have a six-pack.
…you don’t? But you’re so… muscular?
It’s called stout strength. I’m a fighter, not a body builder.
Err… I don’t know, I wouldn’t actually call you stout but… right, I vote for Vlad. Cuteness wins.

Um… who wants to give me a hug?
I will!
Then I vote for the girl.

Our current score is… Anna: 2, Brad: 1 and Vlad: 2… now, let’s count the votes coming from the ones at home watching this!

>Yeah I'm gonna have to vote for Anna here.
>I'm voting for Anna. She's totally rocking that outfit.
>Ann-Sofie wins on the basis of being the only maid who looks happy and ready to do maid stuff.
That’s three more votes for Anna!
>Well that's a no-brainer, Bradford wins.
>Actually, I change my vote to bradford. The beard rocks it.
And two for Brad…
>I vote for Vlad.
>Vlad, by the way. We kind of have a thing for lizard guys in maid outfits that goes back a few thousand years.
And another two for Vlad!

Our final score is thus… Winner: Anna with 5 points! Runner up: Vlad with 4 points! And in last place… Brad with only 3 points!

And here comes our prizes… For the runner up… Congratulations, Vladimir, you’ll receive a free Maid uniform of your very own with matching panties!
Um… thanks?
Oh, you just have to try it on as soon as possible!
But… I’m already wearing it!
No buts! If it means I’ll see your cute butt in panties and a miniskirt a while longer then you’ll try it on again!

And the loser, Bradford, receives the fabulous price of… Having to clean the white space while wearing his maid uniform!
OH! So you mean I get to see him wiggle around in that!? Sweet! Now, Brad, remember to make sure you really bend over when you-
I want to object! The judges were clearly biased to vote for females and lizards!
Oh, hush. Stop being a sore loser and start showing off that firm butt of yours.
What’s up with you two and butts, anyway?
ALL THE BUTTS!

And lastly, the winner, Anna… she will move on into the next bracket of the competition which will be decided next week… so, turn in the same time next week for the thrilling conclusion of th-
Um… we three were the only ones who signed up in this competition.

…you where? Well… then you win by default, I guess…
Yay! So what do I win?

Err… balls! I haven’t prepared a prize yet and-
What!? I don’t get anything!? What a rip off! I’ll sue your ass if I don’t get anything!
Here, I have the number to a great lawyer, Anna.

No! Wait! I got… I was just kidding… err… I got your prize… right… here? …somewhere?
(Help me out, guys!)

Insert And the prize is…. My dick in a box_

She gets three requests off the magical computer to grant her wishes.

One free 'nobody could have survived that' death escape/reversal coupon, redeemable anytime! Perfect for last-minute dramatic entrances and cavalry charges!

She gets one "get out of ridiculous plot death free" coupon.

Her prize is that she gets a free mansion in the White Space for one day. This mansion comes with free maid service for the day, also the maids from the service are made up of the judges who are not disembodied voices.

uh, well first off you will be given a camera so you can take picture's of brad and Vlad so you can always see them in maid uniforms whenever you want, also not copyrighted so you can sell them if you please. Next, you can also keep the maid uniform. Lastly you can... uh, go on a romantic date with anyone from the cast and they have to wear a maid's outfit.

>>565630
This sounds perfect!

Kaktus 2014/03/08(Sat)10:00 No. 565639 ID: 549d6c
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>She gets three requests off the magical computer to grant her wishes.
That’s a bit… dangerous, you know. I mean, if she changed her past she’ll never have become a part of the gang, thus never being able to make the wish and suddenly the universe is collapsing!
Actually, I was going to wish for a pool filled with candy… and a bunch of hunky men taking care of me while dressed in maid uniforms…
…isn’t that a bit of a waste of wi-
Of course I would wish to change the past! Losing my family is way more important than some pool filled with candy!

>She gets one "get out of ridiculous plot death free" coupon.
This is not cannon, meaning that that coupon would be useless… Besides, it’s Alex who’s going to get a spear plunged through her from behind…
What was that?

Nothing!

>Her prize is that she gets a free mansion in the White Space for one day.
Hmm… now that, that I can do.
>This mansion comes with free maid service for the day, also the maids from the service are made up of the judges who are not disembodied voices.
What!? Why would you guys punish us!?
I didn’t even want to be a judge!
…hmm… those maid outfits does look comfy though…
Don’t make us go on strike again, author.

No, you guys are right… that wouldn’t be fair… wait… we already have a maid, don’t we? Congratulations Brad, you’re now Anna’s maid for the day!
Oh! A big hunky man in a sexy costume just for me? Awesome!
I hope your mother taught you how to share.
Of course! Everyone who wants to ogle that firm butt dressed in panties is welcome to come! I’ll buy you all a drink!
>You will be given a camera so you can take pictures of brad in maid uniform.
Pictures? Why not a video tape?
>Go on a romantic date with anyone from the cast and they have to wear a maid's outfit.
Pff, who needs a romantic date when I got a hunk of a ma-

>May god have mercy on us, for Bradford will not.
Alright, that’s it… somebody dies. Author; come here so I can split you head in half for all this!
Wait! Don’t kill him! Don’t you remember what happened last time we killed him!?
…wait, isn’t he supposed to still be a zombie after all that?
Oh gods, not this again! Just forget about that plot hole, alright!?
Speaking of plot holes… weren’t we consumed by one la-
No! Shut u- dammit, too late!

Kaktus 2014/03/08(Sat)10:00 No. 565640 ID: 549d6c
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Giant plot hole has spawned!

My only regret is that I didn’t have time to plow Brad’s ass with a strapon!
My only regret is that I didn’t plow Jer’s butt…
What!?
My only regret is that I’m dying…
Vengeance is mine! HAHAH-

Giant plot hole successfully consumed the cast!