Heck, it could be because she's beautiful, and someone in power was jealous.

Okay, so everybody really thinks your ugly and lies to your face about it all the time, no matter the makeup or the mask? Well, I say "so fuckin' what?!" You gonna let them define your life? You gonna hide away so their lying eyes can be spared from your appearance? Well they don't deserve that! They all have to lie about it, so make them work overtime. And if the rocks come, you catch and throw them back. The whip? Grab and beat 'em with it. Live your life the way you want to and force the whole world lie to you.

So about when did you first think you were "ugly?" Do you remember what happened about that time? Who was around then?

...And I say whoever beat this terrible delusion into you only deserves to be cast into the deepest pit of Hell to be paradoxically roasted and frozen for all of eternity, and even that would be too good for them.

Kaktus 2014/02/11(Tue)11:38 No. 562051 ID: 549d6c
File 139214750263.png - (14.20KB , 900x450 , 77.png )

>Okay. Occam's razor here. What's the simpler solution…
That I’m ugly and everyone lies! It has to be! Why else would they hurt me!?
>Can you describe exactly what is deformed? If you can't, then you're not.
I look like an old hag! My eyes are to farm from each other! My snout is to short! My scales are discolored! I’m ugly, disgusting vermin!
>So about when did you first think you were "ugly?" Do you remember what happened about that time? Who was around then?
I’ve always been ugly… they always told me I was ugly…
>...who hurt you?
…everyone who ever loved me…

>Can't you recognize that you've been traumatized by whatever happened in your past? You have mental scars deeper than any physical deformity, and you need help.
A p-proper lady doesn’t go to a therapist. A proper lady conceals, she doesn’t f-feel… A proper lady… doesn’t r-run away and b-becomes a priest… a-and… and… unproper lady is punished…
>Sounds MORE like you got tortured and brutally beaten, and supposedly because of your looks.
Nonono… discipline, knowing how a proper lady behaves… It wasn’t… no… NONONO… IT WASN’T LIKE THAT!
>Heck, it could be because she's beautiful, and someone in power was jealous.
SHUT UP! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!!
ALEXANDRA!?

>Let the boy in. You've got your mask on, it's fine no matter what you think you look like.
You were screaming and- what happened to the mirror!? And your hand!? A-are you alright!?
…I’m fine, Vladimir… what do you want…
I… I… err… I was worried.
Worried? Why?
You did freak out a bit when you didn’t get your baggage and… err… I… I was… worried…
Then stop worrying because I’m fine… now, go away, I want to be alone.
…are you sure? I mean, you look pretty shaken…
I’m fine. Really.
No, you aren’t. Here, sit down and I’ll make you some tea… and then we can discuss whatever is bothering you.
…why do you even care?
See it as a thank you for earlier today… and… a-and… um… yes, tea…
…don’t bother, I can’t drink trough the mask anyway.
Then take it of-
No.
I don’t care how you look like under there… Please, Alex… just one cup…
…it’s Alexandra…

Insert A spot of tea, eh guv?_

he doesn't have ideals of beauty. he has no idea what a pretty person is supposed to look like. is too simple to care.

The only ugly thing here is what's been done to you.

>>562051
Have him wear a blindfold.

Vlad, claiming that she isn't ugly seems to instantly hard-reset her attitude to complete denial, so try to avoid that for a bit. Explain that you don't care how she looks, she's a friend and you're worried.

Kaktus 2014/02/11(Tue)13:38 No. 562075 ID: 549d6c
File 139215468873.png - (14.55KB , 900x450 , 78.png )

>Have him wear a blindfold.
…that’s a bit… much, isn’t it?
>He doesn't have ideals of beauty. He has no idea what a pretty person is supposed to look like. His too simple to care.
...did you just call me stupid?
Hey, don’t insult Vlad!
>The only ugly thing here is what's been done to you.
Err… what have they done to you? …and who?
It’s… nothing. Forget about it.
>Explain that you don't care how she looks, she's a friend and you're worried.
…I can hear you too, you know…
It isn’t your beauty that matters, it’s who you are.
…that just sounded cheesy…
I don’t care how you look, you’re still going to be my friend and friends look after each other.
…didn’t the voices just sa-
Besides, your real beauty can’t be covered up with cosmetics! They can’t cover up your caring personality… you gorgeous deep blue eyes… your form… the way you move… your voice… it’s all beautiful.
…Are you coming on to me?
WHAT!? No! Err… I mean yes… um… I mean maybe?
*Sigh* Why did you have to do this more complicated… look, it’s not going to work. It’s…. it’s isn’t you, it’s me. I’m… I can’t really… it’s not going to work out, alright?
B-but… you can’t just give up without even trying!
It’s pointless to try if it’s going to fail anyway… now turn around so I can drink my tea…
B-but…

Insert Where’s my goddamn tea!?_

>>562075
Vlad, she's got a lot of baggage. It's basically true that it won't work out at this point in time, but we can work on it with her slowly, when we can have time alone with her. Speaking of which... Alexandra, he did bring up a good point. Beauty is not defined solely by one's face. Even with the mask on, people can be attracted to you, and you have no reason to believe he's lying about what he likes about you, do you?

we're not totally sure on the details Vlad but it sounds like someone hurt here in the past and it's scared her to this day. You know I'm starting to think the reason we're connecting so fast with so many people is because all of them have something bad in there past.

I mean Vlad just lost his family, Alexandra sounds like someone tried to rise her to an unrealistic slandered and just ended up fucking up horribly, Anna's dad was sadden he never got a son so she tried to be a tomboy to make him happy only for it to end with her mom going nuts and killing her family, Brad doesn't know his past but it's starting to come back and from the sound of it it's not very happy ether, and we don't know what Jal or the sister's past is yet but seeing the theme going on here it doesn't sound like it will be a cheery one.

...Look Alex, I know you don't want to get into a relationship right now but can you at least offer Vlad a hand in friendship? None of you have had it easy and all of you could use someone to lean on for when things just become to much to deal with on your own. This doesn't have to be anything romantic if you don't want it to be but no one should have to suffer alone, everyone one should at least have a friend to help pull them out of the gutter, like when you stopped Vlad from drinking his life away, like how Vlad is trying to help you right now so you can be happy as well. Again you don't have to swoon every time someone comes to you but don't push them away either if they're just trying to help.

...Vlad, you can't fix this here and now; You'll just dig yourself deeper. Please, just turn around and drink your tea. And you may as well take a moment to inform Alexandra of our new mission is and who it's from.

I don't know what to say, Vlad. We're out of our depth here. This kind of thing, it's impervious to logic. It twists perception into knots. There's no quick fix; It takes a long time and skill to right. I just don't know what to do...

Alexandra, take this as you will, but we won't give up on you, and we won't hurt you. I think the same can be said for Vlad and the rest.

Kaktus 2014/02/12(Wed)05:59 No. 562158 ID: 549d6c
File 139221357985.png - (15.47KB , 900x450 , 79.png )

>...Look Alex, I know you don't want to get into a relationship right now but can you at least offer Vlad a hand in friendship?
I guess… more friends wouldn’t hurt…
>Alexandra, he did bring up a good point. Beauty is not defined solely by one's face. Even with the mask on, people can be attracted to you, and you have no reason to believe he's lying about what he likes about you, do you?
…a proper lady is supposed to care greatly about her looks…
A proper lady doesn’t go around punching mirrors or has a breakdown as soon as they don’t have some cosmetics at hand. A “proper” lady is a dull, snobbish aristocrat… you’re anything but.
…
>...Vlad, you can't fix this here and now; You'll just dig yourself deeper. Please, just turn around and drink your tea.
Mmm… this is quite good, actually. Where did you learn making tea?
They had these premade bags in the drawesr of every room of the inn. I just heated up some water.
…oh.
>You may as well take a moment to inform Alexandra of our new mission is and who it's from.
…the light!? As in… the actual light!?
Apparently.
And we’re supposed to find and kill someone who’s been dead for 200 years?
That is correct.
…how the hell are we supposed to find someone like that? It’s not like we can go door to door, knock and ask if they’ve seen Ragnar… or that we’ll just run into him in the bar…

>You know I'm starting to think the reason we're connecting so fast with so many people is because all of them have something bad in their past.
Well, there is a pattern. As for Jal, he’s a bastard, his mother is a thrall and all the stress has made him an alcoholic.
Err… won’t he mind you telling everyone that?
Oh, that drunkards tells everyone he’s a bastard already.
…so when he said… I thought he was joking!
Well, he wa-
*Crash!*
OH MY GOD!?
Brad!? OH SHIT, ANNA!?
…Scratch… scratch scratch…

Insert Here’s Johnny!_

Oh for fuck sake's he's being controlled by a deamon, Really? He's a fucking Vildman for god's sake, we saw one of those guys tare themselves limb from limb rather then let a Deamon control them.

hold on one sec [check pawns]
Oh and maybe try running... maybe the window?

...they got the windwalker? Well, that's just fucking great. He can take everyone in the room apart before they can react if he does that speed thing.

Poor Anna. I liked her.

I don't suppose we can try and wrest him out from whatever's control he's under?

Well as if things weren't grimdark enough.
WHERE'S THE CULTISTS! Seriously, those guys are connected to the demons so if a demon got ahold of Brad chances are they're linked.
Anyhow, BRAD! STAND DOWN! WE ARE INTANGIBLE AND THUS IMMUNE TO YOUR WEAPONRY, AND YOU WILL NOT HURT THE REST OF OUR COMRADES WITHOUT GOING THROUGH US!!!

...Okay, no. This is not happening. If Brad had been taken control of then more than Anna would have died; It would have been a rampage! You two would have heard that! And, more telling, if Brad had been taken then WE WOULD NOT BE HERE! He's our king! Our prime piece! We would be gone if he fell! This is not possible! I disbelieve! WE DISBELIEVE!

...And if that doesn't work I call BULLSHIT, and suggest you two try to get out the window ASAP. Throw everything in here at Brad or in his way, including the furniture.

We'll [Check pawn status] to see if this is actually happening, and if it is then [Switch to "The Savage"] to try and wrest control over Brad away from whatever the fuck has got him.

>>562161
That was a wraith, not a daemon, that got into that Vildman; Huge difference between the two. She gnawed her own limbs off to keep her corpse from being taken by it.

Kaktus 2014/02/12(Wed)09:52 No. 562173 ID: 549d6c
File 139222757022.png - (16.22KB , 900x450 , 80.png )

>[check pawns]
[“The Savage” Status: Sleeping, Corrupted dreams. “The hunter” Status: Depressed, Sleeping. “The priest” Status: Stressed out, sleeping. “The Alchemist” Status: Drunk, Disappointed, horny, sleeping. “Sister of Wisdom” Status: Sleeping, Blessed dreams. “Sister of Power” Status: Sleeping, Blessed dreams. “The Valkyrie” Status: Depressed, Crying. Current Corruption level: 2% and falling.]
>I don't suppose we can try and wrest him out from whatever's control he's under?
WHAT? HOW!? I don- ARHG!
AAAA-
>Oh and maybe try runni-
No! NO RUNNING! They will not escape the feast! They will not escape the coming darkness! We will gain our freedom!!
>They all deserve to die for what they did… kill them all… not even the gods are immortal.
…how does it feel, Bradford… to know that you have so much blood on your hands… so much death… all because of your pride... Do you think they would be proud?

Kaktus 2014/02/12(Wed)09:53 No. 562174 ID: 549d6c
File 139222758207.png - (13.25KB , 900x450 , 81.png )

>Wake up!
Mhng?
Why, hello there.
Boss! He’s fighting it!
MGFHF!!
Don’t worry, this stuff will have him sleeping like a baby in no time.
Mff…
See? Get him out through the window… and let’s hope those religious freaks are good to their word, you’re worth a lot of coin, little man. …who sleeps in their armor an-

[You have lost connection to “The Savage!”]

Kaktus 2014/02/12(Wed)09:53 No. 562176 ID: 549d6c
File 139222763852.png - (16.16KB , 900x450 , 82.png )

We’re almost there, Daniel, I think I can see the top!
...Are these ruins really important enough to risk our very lives for!?
Of course! These aren’t some simple ruins; it’s a site of a battle that saved the very world we live in thousands of years ago. This very ziggurat was built as a defense against beings you can’t even imagine, let alone fathom! Here I thought you knew the way when I hired you as a guide.
No one has been mad enough to venture this far up the mountain before! We would have been dead ten times over by now… but… it’s like something is protecting us from the cold and weak air…
Do not dally now, Daniel, we need to keep moving… I’m sure the entrance will be somewhere around here…

[You now have control over “The Sacrifice”!]

Insert And now for someone completely different_

>>562176
Oh, hello, someone new. Don't worry, we're allies of the Light. You're getting close to the peak of the mountain? I guess we'll get to see what's up here.

What's that brown thing stuck in the snow?

Mantis Wizard?
No questions, kick out behind you.

Guidesman?
Tackle that guy in front of you.

Undead guy?
Stay away from those two/identify yourself.

>Daniel
>The Sacrifice
We switched from playing Civ to watching Stargate, I see.

Hello, how are you, what's the date?

hey want to know something, we just stopped by to say that your name pings up as the scarface. just thought we'd let you know that.

Also one sec [message Vaalkyrei hey uh, now might not be a good time but Brad's being kidnapped by what we think are cultist in white hoodies... and since your the only one awake and we're being pulled somewhere else can can't really do shit right now we're hoping you can do something since our little blobby hands are tied. KayThanksByeWEKnewWeCouldCountOnYouBye]

>>562186
I meant to say sacrifice not scarface, sorry

...wait a minute is that a mantis with a beard?

This is a dream, isn't it.

Kaktus 2014/02/12(Wed)11:08 No. 562196 ID: 549d6c
File 139223208761.png - (15.19KB , 900x450 , 83.png )

>[message Valkyrie]
[You haven’t yet claimed the Valkyrie pawn yet. Please wait nine months.]

>Oh, hello, someone new.
Wha- WHO SAID THAT!? WHAT ARE YOU!?
>What's the date?
I… Date? You want to know the date? Err… It’s the 19 of the 1st month of Siegfried’s season, 3995?
>we just stopped by to say that your name pings up as the sacrifice. Just thought we'd let you know that.
…Sacrifice? To what? I rather not be a sacrifice to anything, thank you very much.

>Mantis Wizard?
That’s professor Varius. He’s some hotshot necromancer from one of those desert nations down south. He wanted me to guide him up here to find these ruins for some reason… dunno why, but the coin is good.
>Undead guy?
That’s his servant… or slave… or something. Those desert dwellers are weird with their total disrespect for the dead.
>Beard?
Something about “You can’t be a real wizard without one” or something. Don’t ask me, the old man is rather eccentric.

>What's that brown thing stuck in the snow?
…Professor Varius? I think I found something…
Hmmm? Really? Let me see… ah, it’s a top of a statue! This has to be the entrance I was told about! Good job, Daniel! Quick, start removing the snow!
Err… it will take ages to dig it up! We’re going to freeze to death before that! The storm is getting worse by the minute!
Nonsense! See, the snow is already falling away by itself. Soon we’ll have a hole large enough to get through.
…How did you even find this place!? It’s in the middle of nowhere on the larges mountain in the world!
From ancient texts and artifacts, of course… and some help from elsewhere… now, we’re almost inside, keep digging, servant!

Insert An idea! I will steal it! No one will ever know!_

>>562189
If it is then I don't want to wake up, and if it isn't then we must know his secrets!

>>562196
Oh boy we're in the... past? Present? I'm confused now.
[check status of pawns]

Okay, I gotta warn you. This place is going to be full of traps if it's like the other temple we've been in.

Tell us about yourself while we wait. How did you come to be on this expedition? What's the situation like around here? Did you come across any strange people or interesting towns?

Allow me to introduce ourselves: We're the Voices of the Many, a collective of spirits that come to advise those who'll play an important part in the fate of the world. We try to make that fate one of "saving the world" as best we can, but there are others like us who have their own agendas, and still others who have been corrupted by daemonic influence.

Okay, looks like we've jumped back in time. It was the 23rd of the 3rd month of Thane’s season, year 3996 when we left. Hmmm... I wonder who's with us now. Better [check pawn status]. Just to make sure, this mountain is the Pillar of the Heavens, isn't it?

Wait. Varius? We heard of this guy when we were last in the Serath Kingdom. He's the Serath Academy's best necromancer. We wanted to consult with him about wraith possessions that were happening down there, but he'd left on an expedition a few days before. Then his apprentice turned up dead, his corpse quite possibly have been driven around by a wraith for a few days... Not a good sign.

I have a bad feeling about that "help from elsewhere" he mentioned, and you should to, Daniel. We've been facing daemonic forces and Varius may be under their sway. Or he might be with another like us, and his motives could be anything. Or he could just be an academic fixated on something. Whatever it is, his objective here is unknown, and that worries me.

Unfortunately there's no going back down the mountain; You'd die for sure that way. There's no choice, you'll have dig down and follow Varius. All I can suggest is remaining wary and keeping your distance.

Ask Varius if he knows from which direction this ziggurat was made to defend against those unfathomable beings. Is he sure it wasn't built to contain them and not as a fortress against them?

...10 magpies he's going to kill you

anyways if you really want to go down there be on the look out for traps, monsters, and generally bad shit. If I can take a shot in the dark I'm guess that the battle that happened her so long ago was when the windwalkers fight some guy who's title was the scourge of god and killed him... and with my second shot I guessing that the necromancer here wants something to do with that guy's corpse or the corpse of the fallen windwalkers.

>I rather not be a sacrifice to anything, thank you very much.
Well then you'd better get really freaking paranoid because you're in a remote location where nobody can hear you scream and in the company of a necromancer crazy enough to tie a beard to his face.

Kaktus 2014/02/12(Wed)13:12 No. 562215 ID: 549d6c
File 139223954559.png - (12.76KB , 900x450 , 84.png )

>[check status of pawns]
[“The Sacrifice” Status: Confused. There aren’t any claimable pawns nearby!]

>Allow me to introduce ourselves: We're the Voices of the Many, a collective of spirits that come to advise those who'll play an important part in the fate of the world.
…right. A simpler and more likely explanation is that I’ve gone nuts and is hearing things.
>Tell us about yourself while we wait. How did you come to be on this expedition? What's the situation like around here? Did you come across any strange people or interesting towns?
Err… he paid a lot of coin to be guided up the mountain? Of course, I didn’t think he would be crazy enough to go this far. As for the “situation” around here… well… it’s snowy… cold… boring… as it always is? …and the only town around here is the same town I’m from, It’s called Ängladal and is at the foot of these mountains.
>We must know his secrets about the beard!
It’s fake. I can almost see the steel wire from here.
>Okay, looks like we've jumped back in time. It was the 23rd of the 3rd month of Thane’s season, year 3996 when we left.
Huh… that’s almost nine months… what happen then?
>Just to make sure, this mountain is the Pillar of the Heavens, isn't it?
Yes, one of them… the tallest of them, in fact.
>Wait. Varius? We heard of this guy when we were last in the Serath Kingdom.
Yes, Serath deserts, that’s what they are called! I had it on my tongue but…
>There's no choice, you'll have dig down and follow Varius. All I can suggest is remaining wary and keeping your distance.
Right… just digging myself deeper and deeper…
>...10 magpies he's going to kill you.
…you’re on.

>Ask Varius if he knows from which direction this ziggurat was made to defend against those unfathomable beings. Is he sure it wasn't built to contain them and not as a fortress against them?
It’s was made as a battle ground… one of four, in fact. They were built to fight back and seal the beings into their own world. Sealed by a word from the gods… but the seals are weakening and the words are gone… at least, that’s what the legends says.
Wait, you’re going to poke around a prison for who knows what? What if you unseal this crap!?
Don’t be ridicules. The seals were made by the old gods themselves. A mere mortal like me would never be able to even weaken them, let alone break them. Besides, these beings need a bunch of sacrifices of blood and stuff to even have any power. There’s no need to worry, my boy. Besides, there’s four other seals… one somewhere deep in the fetid jungles to the south, the other two somewhere across the great sea…
…I’m still a bit skeptical about a-
There! It’s open! Quickly! The storm is growing worse and we have much to accomplish!

Kaktus 2014/02/12(Wed)13:12 No. 562218 ID: 549d6c
File 139223957892.png - (892.24KB , 960x716 , Silly1.png )

Star date… err… I think it was the tenth last Tuesday. No matter… I am in dire need of assistance, as the whole crew has taken ill to some kind of unknown disease. I’ve tried to find a cure but to no success. There is no information about this unknown disease in the ships database… and I’m running out of hope. Without the captain to command us, the guy with weird glasses to look cool, the big guy with weird ridges on his head to look tough and the beard being the beard we’ll have no chance to steer the ship. Our only hope is that I, Data, find the cure before it to late… the cure to this nefarious disease… this disease that the crew have come to call… Starbound.
THE MIGHTY BEARD HAVE BUILT A MIGHTY CASTLE FOR THE BEARD!
I, Magneto, master of magnetism, have constructed the perfect pickaxe made of iron! Fear my mighty pickaxe!
Pickaxes is so last week. I got a drill… made of diamonds!
Log update… The crew has started speaking in tongues. The need of complete extermination is growing larger by the hour.

Insert This is highly illogical… wait, wrong series_

>>562218
Data, you must infiltrate the source of the infection and sabotage its functionality. Become server admin, and the grief the fuck out of everyone so they stop playing.

Or you could just shut off the internet.

>>562226
Turn off the net or at lest block it cos well some ones got them hocked on mine craft:/

Route the input device they use for the game to the navigation system so they'll steer the ship instead of controlling their game.

>>562294
PERFECT. We'll make the game into their job!

>>...10 magpies he's going to kill you.
>…you’re on.
That's a bet Daniel can't lose. If he lives, he collects. If he dies, he's too dead to pay up.

>>562218
So... a holodeck game has taken over everyone's real-life, and is making the crew act crazy?

You'd think you'd be used to this by now.

Obviously, there are only two ways to solve problems. If it's a small problem, you can make an analogy at it, thus solving it by technobabble. If it's a big problem, you have to confront it, and talk to it on it's own terms in order to come out the other side.

So, try an analogy first. If that doesn't work, you'll have to venture into the heart of the starbound.

Starbound has shown up in my dreams. Twice. In the past week.

Also, Data, clearly the only way to cure them of the game is to BEAT THEM AT IT! :3

Kaktus 2014/02/13(Thu)05:59 No. 562349 ID: 549d6c
File 139229995424.png - (690.44KB , 720x540 , Silly2.png )

>You could just shut off the internet.
Impossible. The internet is currently too important to the ships survival to be shut off. For example, I’m currently downloading 47 different erotic holo simulations and the new Lego movie. It’s imperative that they are done as soon as possible.
>Route the input device they use for the game to the navigation system so they'll steer the ship instead of controlling their game.
New course set. Old course: Planet paradise, filled with puppies and candy. New course: Planet Doomy doom death destruction defilement Danish resort… warning, this planet has a 100% death rate on all redshirts, 100% death rate on all mauve shirts, 99% death rate on all captains (Unless you are an anti-authority maverick called Kirk or bald).
…oh shit, my shirt is mauve!
>You can make an analogy at it, thus solving it by technobabble.
I need more information about this “Starbound” to make an analogy. Let’s analyses the behavior of the infected.
Gentlemen, behold! The larges mustache you’ve ever beheld!
THE BEARD SUDDENLY NEEDS TO CONSUME A LARGE AMOUNT OF PRINGLES!
That’s nothing! Watch this! It’s a horse playing the saxophone!
It’s… it’s… beautiful…
THE MIGHTY BEARD SHEDS A SINGLE TEAR DOWN HIS MIGHTY CHEEK!
Urge to kill… rising… urge to live… almost gone…

> Data, you must infiltrate the source of the infection and sabotage its functionality. Become server admin, and the grief the fuck out of everyone so they stop playing.
It’s the only way…
Hey, what happened to my mustache? Why is there suddenly two large round shapes and a… oh god, that isn’t a mustache at all!
Alright, who built that… THING between my glorious horse legs?
THE MIGHTY BEARD WISH TO KNOW WHO MADE A MIGHTY PENIS IN HIS MIGHTY CASTLE!
Who is do- Wait, who is this “D4t4RocksHumanSuck89”?
THE MIGHTY BEARD SAW DATA USE THAT NAME WHEN WE PLAYED TEAM HATRESS 4: THE HATTENING! NOW WITH MORE HATS!
Get him! …wait, what happen to the 3rd one?
VALVE CAN’T COUNT TO THREE! NOW, THE MIGHTY BEARD COMMANDS THAT WE TAKE CARE OF THIS UNMIGHTY DATA!
Death to the nonbeliever!
Oh no, my penis barrage was to effective! I need a place to hide!

Inse- Expecting an insert? Too bad, It’s BEARD TIME!_

Hide within the mighty beard's beard. It is far to vast to search effectively so they will never find you.

>Let’s
Your program finally figured out how to use contractions, huh?

>what do?
Just go somewhere where there's no air. It's not like there are any vacuum suits on this ship. And without you, none of them are smart enough to cheat to use shields to make personal air bubbles or anything.

>penis barrage was ineffectual
Did you make them... fully functional? If not, that's probably the problem.

>>562349
Ohhhhh sheeeeet its starbound now I get what he ment by a drill made of Dimonds... let me just login and have a chat with em
*plaper volts dancer has joined*
(Vlots dancer)hay guys I think irl is calling you lot

>>562349
(Vlots dancer)wait is that what I think it is O_O good mother of yhe borg it is....is it fully functional?

>>562354
>>562355
Please don't do that.

>>562349
Hide in the holodeck! Make a simulation of like, 100 Datas so they don't know which one is you.

Kaktus 2014/02/13(Thu)10:46 No. 562377 ID: 549d6c
File 139231715904.png - (143.32KB , 320x320 , Silly3.png )

(Vlots dancer): hay guys I think irl is calling you lot
(MagnetMan): Bah, let the others search for that walking can of plastic. I got a mustache to rebuild!
(Vlots dancer): wait is that what I think it is O_O good mother of yhe borg it is....is it fully functional?
(MagnetMan): Well, he did make this really advance pump system… which I’m surprise he should create with the game still being in Beta and all…
(BaldisBeautiful): Magneto! What are you doing!? You’re supposed to help us catch Data, not chat with strangers!
(LordBEARD!): THE BEARD DEMANDS VENGEANCE!

>Hide within the mighty beard's beard. It is far too vast to search effectively so they will never find you.
Hmmm… if only I should get close to the beard without someone noticing me… I know, I will camouflage myself! With a beard!
You know… we aren’t stupid. Putting on a beard won’t make it harder to find you.
Oh shi- plan B!
>Hide in the holodeck! Make a simulation of like, 100 Datas so they don't know which one is you.
My god… it’s full of beards!
MY BEARD IS STILL MORE MIGHTY!
DATA!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? The universe can’t handle this much beard! You’ve ru-

Kaktus 2014/02/13(Thu)10:46 No. 562378 ID: 549d6c
File 139231717511.png - (402.63KB , 547x522 , Silly4.png )

Warning, beard mass exceeds that of normal values! ERROR! The Universe has committed an illegal action and will shut down! All your unsaved data will be lost! Have a nice day.

Dammit, and I haven’t updated my backup in ag-

BOOM!!

Kaktus 2014/02/13(Thu)10:46 No. 562379 ID: 549d6c
File 139231718659.png - (173.69KB , 500x346 , Silly5.png )

GAME OVER!

>>562379
FIND BEARD

Just blame everything on Q. He'll end up having to fix things just to prove you wrong.