>And here I [thought] I was the only one
Wait, what color is she, then?

Heh. I figured your mom as a sharp one, Eliraz. Razor sharp. I wonder what her hidden agenda is in all this.

First, the obvious question: How'd she find out our color and Shadow's? I'm guessing she has her own player, so which color is hers? And is it a recent addition or one she's had her whole life?

Ask her what was the message she got from Dur'Ankh. Elizah mentioned to Jericho that one had arrived right before she left for the courtyard. Was it demands from warlord Mor'Kay?

Lastly, show her Jericho's locket and tell her there's an unidentified magical core in it we need identified. We'd prefer to have Ilbir do it, but he's not going to be back for days. Does she know anybody in the Mage Academy or elsewhere in the city we could trust to ID it without blabbing?

Then I guess we'll be off to tell Jericho about him possibly having royal blood, the Rite of Dragon Fire and to return his locket. This rite isn't going to be dangerous for him, right? I assume so, since your mom implied Jericho would still be around afterwards even if he failed it.

Hey, what's your mom's magic specialty? Is she another fire mage like Elizah or did she get something different like you did?

Mention that your sister is pink, if she does not know already.

A monkey 2013/12/23(Mon)13:22 No. 553298 ID: b3ca75
File 138783372264.png - (23.60KB , 900x450 , 93.png )

>Hey, what's your mom's magic specialty? Is she another fire mage like Elizah or did she get something different like you did?
She’s a very powerful fire mage… fire magic runs strong in our blood, after all. I’m the black sheep so to speak…
>this rite of dragon fire, this is one of those "if he's from our blood he'll be fine but if he isn't then he'll die" isn't it?
Of course not. It’s… well, a test of essence, really… or how you’ll put it.

>How'd she find out our color and Shadow's?
You weren’t the only one who receives these weird messages.
>I'm guessing she has her own player, so which color is hers? And is it a recent addition or one she's had her whole life?
I am… I was red.
Was?
He tried to take over… and I fought back and won. I… I’m sorry… I didn’t realize… I… I didn’t want to see that the same thing was happening to you, my sweet gecko… I should have been there for you… but…
You’ve always been here for me, mother… I’m sorry I didn’t ask for help.
>I wonder what her hidden agenda is in all this.
The only agenda I have is for my people… and my family…
>Mention that your sister is pink, if she does not know already.
Really? I need to have a talk with her, then.

>Ask her what was the message she got from Dur'Ankh.
The warlord requested food, water and weapon from them… and from every city between Dur’ankh to here or they’ll all burn. I still don’t know why, but they seem hell bent on getting to the capital.
>Show her Jericho's locket and tell her there's an unidentified magical core in it we need identified.
Hmm… I can give it to Reizn. I should be able to identify it. He’s going to be at the rite, so I’ll give it back to you then.
>Oh and sultan, most time when you tell your kids not to do something they usually do it out of spite or some reason or another. Just an FYI.
If they are teenagers, yes, but I expect better from and adult like my little gecko here.
Of course, mother.
Remember, little gecko, if you ever need anything, I’m here for you.

>I guess we'll be off to Jericho.
Jericho? I need… wait, did you read all those books while I was away!? I’ve barely been gone two hours!
Of course not. I’ve put some of them back on the shelf when I was done with them… and I went out on the market for some fresh air.
…and bought some flowers? …these… I… how did you?
Half of your paintings have those kind of flowers in them… and I can understand why, they really smell lovely, don’t they?

[You can now control the pebble and the thief!]

Insert Christmas in 1 hour, 40 minutes… at least were I live_

why'd we tell her about Pink? thought we had a truce of sorts there, oh well.

Hey Jericho you should mention how nice Artemis looks now as she seems to be going through a phase right now, oh and she want's to be seen as a girl for reasons. So did you learn anything new while we were gone, how was your bath, we kinda signed you up for something called the rite of dragon fire to see if you're of royal blood, did you enjoy your walk?

How do you kill a Player on your own? That's pretty incredible.

Initiate swooning.

A monkey 2013/12/23(Mon)15:57 No. 553314 ID: b3ca75
File 138784303235.png - (23.30KB , 900x450 , 94.png )

>Why'd we tell her about Pink? thought we had a truce of sorts there, oh well.
(Because I trust my mother enough to know that my sisters secret is in good hands.)
>How do you kill a Player on your own? That's pretty incredible.
(Oh shoot, I should have asked that!)

>Hey Jericho you should mention how nice Artemis looks now as she seems to be going through a phase right now, oh and she want's to be seen as a girl for reasons.
Oh, hey, nice body Artemis. Looks really sturdy.
Why, I thank Jericho, your body looks sturdy as well!
>So did you learn anything new while we were gone
oh, lots! Hmm… hard to summarize it though…
What did you learn from this book? “How to spice up the bedro-“
THAT ONE!? Oh I just… err… took a quick peek in that… um… give me that…

>how was your bath
It was marvelous! Just divine! It was li-
>we kinda signed you up for something called the rite of dragon fire to see if you're of royal blood.
…what?
Mother will be ready with the rite in a few hours… don’t worry, it’s nothing dangerous.
…wait, so does that mean… I’m part Serath?
Apparently, yes… and you’re probably a free man again in a few hours. I said I shouldn’t give you freedom but… here it is.
…thank you, Eliraz.

>Initiate swooning.
…wait, do they me you or me?
Well… you bought the flowers…
But you just gave me freedom…
And you saved my life…
You’re an intelligent and highly soficiated prince…
And you’re an extremely brave and strong minded knight…
…
…
Oh, are you going to make another lizard now!? Can I watch!?
…dammit, Artemis.

Insert Artemis, number one moment ruiner!_

Artemis you can join if you want... what she's the only one that's aloud to ruin the moment? the hell with that.

But yeah what exactly is this rite anyways?

Actually this reminds me now, since your half and half, could you actually have children?

Also you might want to explain to her that sex isn't always the followup to a happy moment... And I'm curious if she knows between sex (the physical body), or if she knows your not full male.

And of course, doubleswoon.

Artemis. In order to observe mating rituals, you need to ask about a day in advance. If you interrupt, like now, you can 'spoil the moment' which prevents creation of offspring.

Also Jericho is dead. I don't think he can make other lizards.

A monkey 2013/12/23(Mon)17:18 No. 553341 ID: b3ca75
File 138784792547.png - (23.30KB , 900x450 , 95.png )

>Doubleswoon.
…no… the moment is dead…
Completely dead.
>Since your half and half, could you actually have children?
(Um… I’m more man then female and… err… I’m sterile. Besides… my… um… women parts are a bit… they aren’t really top notch… under developed… I can’t really… well, I can but it’s a bit… err… awkward…)
>>But yeah what exactly is this rite anyways?
Well… you take a piece of someone’s… well, essence, I guess. You know, the thing in the blood… the thing that gives you magic. Usually it’s a few drops of blood, but for you it’s probably going to be a piece of your core. Don’t worry; it isn’t anything more dangerous than taking a blood sample. Then we take the blood and put it in an enchanted bowl which will, if you have strong enough connection to us, light itself on fire.

>Artemis. In order to observe mating rituals, you need to ask about a day in advance.
Then can I watch the next time you try?
No… no, you cannot. This is supposed to be private.
…aw, I wanted to see lizard mating dance…
>you might want to explain to her that sex isn't always the follow-up to a happy moment...
…how can male or female foll-
Mating, I mean mating.
Oh… alright then… so… what now?
That’s… a very good question…
I for one was looking forward to show how dexterous my tongue is to my knight…
What did you say?
Nothing!
Didn’t you say sister? Can I meet everyone? I like meeting new ones! Oh, I thought I saw some fun things on our way here from Eliraz mother and… I feel weaker? Why do I feel weak? I’m malfunctioning? What’s going on? Where is my energy!? Eliraz, help me! They tell me to charge someone again but I don’t know who they are and what to charge and I feel weak and Jericho help and Eliraz help!

Insert Batteries not included_

I think the golem facade might be wearing off? In which case, Artemis might need some copious amount of electricity.

Pure magic might work instead. Try channeling energy into her.

It's been sitting in a crypt for god knows how long and NOW decides to run out of power?!?

Jericho, try some magic stuff. Eliraz, try to find that amulet. It's the only macguffin-type/non-elemental magic I think we can get our hands on right now.

all else fails try on of those stones or tears we've been collecting.

Dammit. Okay, she reactivated before, back at the dig, so she must have gotten power from somewhere. We just have to figure out from where and what. Um. My best guess it involves Jericho, somehow. Perhaps near-direct contact with a large concentration of magic? Or applying magic directly?

I don't want to risk applying magic directly to her head, since that may break her. Eliraz, pull up Artemis shirt. Jericho, put both hands on her torso. If that doesn't do anything apply a bit of fire magic. Just enough to warm up the stone a little.

I really, really hope Artemis doesn't run on "life essence," AKA souls. That's a path I'm pretty sure none of us wants to go down.

>>553344
If that's the case then we don't know where her power cell or charge socket is, and applying copious amounts of electricity to the wrong spot would be like applying mains power directly to a microprocessor.

>>553341
She reactivated when Jericho got near. So maybe Jericho should give her a poke.

Maybe she just needs to rest.

>They tell me to charge
Could you repeat exactly what 'they' are saying to you?

It seems as if whatever motive energy powers you has run low. We'll need to find a way to recharge it.

A monkey 2013/12/24(Tue)03:58 No. 553436 ID: b3ca75
File 138788630029.png - (23.33KB , 900x450 , 96.png )

>Artemis might need some copious amount of electricity.
Ele what now?
>It's been sitting in a crypt for god knows how long and NOW decides to run out of power?!?
Being an immobile head doesn’t really drain a lot of energy, I’m guessing.

>Could you repeat exactly what 'they' are saying to you?
“Warning: low power, please use magical energy to recharge unit.”
>She reactivated when Jericho got near. So maybe Jericho should give her a poke.
…that’s better… now they are saying that I’ll be done in three hours.
Wait, let me get my magical battery, if you can channel magic into her it should be able to do it too.
…you have a what now?
Not everyone have magical powers themselves to recharge their gear, alright? …and no, the shadow powers don’t count… they aren’t really “magic” as we know it.
>Maybe she just needs to rest.
…they want me to go inert for three hours… to regain power… I’m… I’m scared Eliraz…
Don’t worry, Artemis, everything will be fine.
…will I… d… dream? …
…Artemis? Hello?
ZzZzZz…
So, he’s going to sleep for a few hours, eh?
Well then… where were we? I believe I was about to kiss you.
I believe you’re remembering it wrong.
Oh? Really? How did you rememb-

A monkey 2013/12/24(Tue)04:00 No. 553438 ID: b3ca75
File 138788642091.png - (23.12KB , 900x450 , 97B.png )

Mmmm~
E-Eliraz…
O-oh… J-Jericho~

Insert Marry Christmas… at least on my side of the planet_

>>553438
Oh no, the books! Should we go? Maybe we should go.

[switch to the Shaman]

Yeah we'll let them have a moment *switch to someone*

[Switch to Terra]

>Insert Marry Christmas… at least on my side of the planet_
Merry Christmas Eve, from the other side of the planet!

Ladies please, can you at least wait until this ritual is all officiated and stuff? Also That golem totally moved.

Merry Christmas.

aww, now Artemis won't get to watch... anyways you two seem busy we'll bug someone else, and don't knock the prince up Jericho, I don't even want to imagine how big a pain in the ass that would be to solve.

ALSO Merry Christmas

Let's move to someone else while they have their incredibly adorable moment.

Heh, I figured it was about time. Don't forget to try all the "tail tricks." We'll take off now.

Hey! Artemis moved! Is that sneak faking so she can watch you two do it? Well, in case she is, throw some clothes over her head so she can't see without revealing she is.

[Connect to pawn "The Shaman;" If fail: Connect to pawn "The Acolyte."]

A monkey 2013/12/24(Tue)16:04 No. 553527 ID: b3ca75
File 138792989716.png - (6.83KB , 900x450 , Silly1.png )

>Merry Christmas.
Have anyone read our new paychecks? Including the Christmas bonus?
I thought it was alright… err… banana is another term for a lot of money, right?
It’s literally a banana. The one paying us is a monkey, remember?
…you know, replacing the author with a monkey probably wasn’t one of our best ideas…
Noo!! I need that Christmas bonus to pay the debts I’ve gotten from all the presents I bought! We need to have a magical Christmas adventure and save Christmas by finding a new author that will actually pay us! We might even learn the true meaning with Christmas while we’re at it!
That it is family and friends that actually mat-
What!? No! Buying a ton of shit and lying to children! That’s the true spirit of Christmas!
Who cares what the spirit of Christmas is, where do we get a new author?
I’m pretty sure no one is actually willing to write this thing… let alone pay us. I mean, the last assistant the old author tried to hire went insane as soon as he saw the script! That thing is probably written by some kind of eldritch horror from the beyond… and that horror is a complete pervert!
You know… who said we needed to replace the author to get paid?
So our mission is to get money and / or replacing the monkey who’s currently writing this?

>Don't knock the prince up Jericho, I don't even want to imagine how big a pain in the ass that would be to solve.
One of them are dead and the other doesn’t even have functioning girl parts, I’m pretty sure they won’t be making any babies anytime soon. Besides, I can bet one of the got a dick up his ass by now… or at least a tongue.
Who cares! We need more money! Right now!

Insert I’m not your friend, buddy_

Zany Scam to steal present money. We can dress Durach up in a Santa outfit, Iblir in an elf costume, Thaark as a reindeer and Elizah can be one of those ladies who take in Christmas donations.

and you just can't rob something because...?

I mean there's about a million of those salvation army guys around this time of year, just start knocking those guys off. Don't think they'll put up much of a fight

Get grants from the mysterious omnipresent government to study the monkey writing all this. It's the only one to produce anything coherent, even if it's crappy. The others from that experiment just shat on it, threw literal and metaphorical shit at it, and banged on random keys.

Don't worry, what with bureaucracy and red tape you never actually need to have results.

>>553527
Sign up an eldritch horror. They won't go insane.

A monkey 2013/12/25(Wed)07:26 No. 553570 ID: b3ca75
File 138798516670.png - (10.21KB , 900x450 , Silly2.png )

>Get grants from the mysterious omnipresent government to study the monkey writing all this. It's the only one to produce anything coherent, even if it's crappy. The others from that experiment just shat on it, threw literal and metaphorical shit at it, and banged on random keys.
Apparently, this is considered metaphorical shit... well, actually worse than shit. Nine out of ten people rather read literal shit instead of this.
Well, at least one pe-
The last person committed suicide in desperation.
…you know, aren’t we a bit hard on the authors writing sty-
Fuck that guy! He’s a douche!
>Don't worry, what with bureaucracy and red tape you never actually need to have results.
Nor do we get any grant money thanks to the all-consuming red tape of doomy doom!

>Sign up an eldritch horror. They won't go insane.
Alright, we got three candidates. Ilbir, if you please…
The first one is called father Kthoth, the diseased one.
Perks? Cons?
The pro is that he’ll give us a gift every Tuesday, the con is that it’s horrible diseases that will slowly turn us into unrecognizable abominations.
Does our health care cover that?
No.
Screw that then, who’s next?
Chzo, the king of pain-
Yea, that guy is a douche. He’ll force us to wear wielder masks and shit. So no.
The last one is Byarla, lady of lust.
Oh, that sound promis-
>And you just can't rob something because...?
Screw this! This is a stick up! Give me all your money or you’ll face cold steel!
Err… I don’t think robbing an Eldritch horror is the best course of-
Shut up, party pooper, what’s the wo- oh, an tentacle from the nether realm just grabbed my leg… a little help?
That would be Byarla, lady of lust if I’m not mistaken.
AH! I’m too virgin to die!
I’m pretty sure she / he is about to fix that.
…shouldn’t we help her?
Nah… anyone have any popcorn?

Insert I’ve read enough H.P Lovecraft to know where this is going_

I'm sorry, you seriously tried to mug an eldritch abomination? Sod you, you deserve what you get.

Videotape it and sell the tapes for a quick buck.

... You brought that one onto yourself there kid

Does this mean Byarla will take the job?

Why did we send the diplomat to rob the eldritch horror and not the thief? ...oh right, he was busy stealing someone's heart.

So, uh, diplomat. Think you're up to talking your way out of this?

You know, Terra's a necromancer. Why haven't we considered the possibility of raising the original author as an undead slave? (Or do her powers not work on potted desert vegetation).

Thaark, got you all covered. [Deploy popcorn x 3]

Elizah, you brought this on yourself with such a boneheaded move. You're gonna have to get out of this on your own. Hey, Byarla! Go easy! She needs to be alive, whole and at least somewhat sane to play her part after you're done.

>>553575
Well, they could just take the author's laptop away from the monkey and retcon the original author back in. Boring, but it'll work.

A monkey 2013/12/25(Wed)11:47 No. 553583 ID: b3ca75
File 138800087977.png - (7.21KB , 900x450 , Silly3.png )

>They could just take the author's laptop away from the monkey and retcon the original author back in.
OH GODS, SOMEONE HELP ME!!
Last time someone touched that laptop they wrote themselves out of existence… it was quite unpleasant according to them.
>So, uh, diplomat. Think you're up to talking your way out of this?
That’s an exit only! EXIT ONLY! AH!
>Does this mean Byarla will take the job?
AH- oh… that… that felt kind of nice~
I take that as a yes.

>Videotape it and sell the tapes for a quick buck.
We’re going to be rich!
WAIT WHAT ARE YO- *Blarg*Cough*Gag*
…wow, I didn’t know it was physically possible to go all the way to the other side like that…
Filthy rich!
Step back, gentlemen, I’m going in. Let’s make this a threesome!
Early retirement here I come!

A monkey 2013/12/25(Wed)11:48 No. 553585 ID: b3ca75
File 138800093312.png - (3.34KB , 900x450 , Silly4.png )

>You know, Terra's a necromancer. Why haven't we considered the possibility of raising the original author as an undead slave?
Meanwhile…
Hey, guys! I was able to rise the author from the dead! …guys? Anyone?

…braaains…

Meh, at least we have an author now. So… what’s the Christmas bonus this year?

Braaaains!!!

Sweet.

…brains…

Um… why are you looking at me like that? Author?

How do you know how he's looking at you funny if you can't see?

Godspeed Thaark, you crazy bastard.

>>553585
You put in runes so he follows your orders, right? Order him to get to writing and stop trying to eat your brains. And to make it better this time.

...you included the runes that require him to obey, and forbid him from harming you, right?

well it is the holidays and with that comes the holidays weight gain from all the food so I think now would be a good time to RUN LIKE HELL. just say Terra. Oh and if you want to find the others, just follow the moans.

A monkey 2013/12/27(Fri)14:34 No. 553856 ID: b3ca75
File 138818369804.png - (2.97KB , 900x450 , Silly5.png )

>How do you know how he's looking at you funny if you can't see?
…oh gods, the writing is getting worse by the minute! And the author hasn’t even started writing yet!!
>...you included the runes that require him to obey, and forbid him from harming you, right?
…err… of course I didn’t forget the runes… There’s no way I forgot all the runes completely and accidently raised him as a mindless undead monstrosity that hungers for the flesh of the living.

…Must feed… on living flesh… also brains… brains taste like chicken… braaaains…. *moan*…

>RUN LIKE HELL.
Run away, run away!
>Oh and if you want to find the others, just follow the moans.
Right, follow the moans… got it… wait, doesn’t zombies moan too?

*Moan*…

Oh shi- EEEEKK!!!

*Om nom nom*

A monkey 2013/12/27(Fri)14:36 No. 553857 ID: b3ca75
File 138818377680.png - (15.24KB , 900x450 , End.png )

[Connection with Tera have been lost.]

Whups. Time to rewind. Or cast someone new to play her part.

NO! BAD AUTHOR! SPIT OUT THE CAST THIS INSTANT!

I meant follow the moans of pleasure but eh, she'll be fine. I mean this is a zombie horror flick and she's a virgin white girl, they never die in this kind of situation... I mean unless she had sex with someone during the course of this film.