Kaktus 2013/04/14(Sun)14:41 No. 505722 ID: b3ca75
File 136597569861.png - (53.86KB , 900x600 , 54.png )

>we should just start pulling out all the paintings, it looked like there was another one behind the moon.
There’s nothing behind the moon one. Just an empty canvas.
> ...what about sticking the map that was supposed to guide us to the ancient one in the frame?
…the world becomes paper… nothing else.

>You could try drawing a picture of a lizard lady in a purple robe.
Done.
AAAAH!
Invaders! Sound the alarm!
They are coming for her! Protect her at all cost!
Kill them all! Kill the heretics! FOR THE SLEEPING ONE!
RAAAH!
Well… I didn’t expect this…

Insert I want to cast magic missile…_

Ah ask these fine lizards if they serve the ageless one, we kind of need her wisdom.

>>505722
Before we engage in melee with the cultists, tell them you're an ally, and have the One of Many and the Vessel!

If they do attack, defend yourself. Match their level of lethality. They look unarmed, but if they're all mages we're gonna need to treat them as deadly opponents. Considering this is such a private area you might even be able to practice Raise Dead... but Balros doesn't know yet, does he? Okay, nevermind. Avoid using necromantic power in front of Balros.

try and see if you can calm them down first and if that fail just start creaking skulls. After I'm a firm believer in the motto "when words fall there are always fist". just knock them out don't kill them if you can avoid it.

You're not here to hurt the ageless ones, you're here to ask about the warranty on a defect set of head voices and destiny she sold you. And to possibly inquire about the return policy around here.

Customer support, not an invasion.

Kaktus 2013/04/14(Sun)15:29 No. 505731 ID: b3ca75
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Wait! We don’t want to fight! Do you fine lizards serve the ageless one? We kind of need her wisdom…
They seek to exploit the sleeping one! KEEL THEM!
No! I’m an ally! I got the voices of the many with me!
She have stolen the voices from the champion! BURN HER!
I got the vessel!
She wish to abuse the power of the vessel! EXTERMINATE HER!
I’m here to ask about the warranty on a defect set of head voices and destiny the ageless one sold to me.
She’s here for a warranty! ERADICATE HER!
um… return policy?
ANNIHILATE HER! DECAPITATE HER!
Costumer support?
EMANCIPATE H- oh, why didn’t you say so! False alarm everyone! She’s just here for the customer support!
Well, that was weird…
Now, I’m sorry, but you cannot bring your friends with you to the great golden halls of costumer support (oooh!) and endless lines (even more oooh!)! The good news is that we have some really nice waiting rooms right behind you. So… are you ready to come with me to look at this whole destiny problem, or do you wish to talk with your friends first?
…this smells of a trap…
My first case~ yay!

Insert elevator music_

don't know, uh have your friends stay here I guess as I'm sure a whole group of adventurers stands a very good chance of surviving and just see if you can't find Liz, I mean if you need backup you could always rise a zombie if things get really bad. Maybe ask book if he has any idea on what to do or expect.

I guess you'll go and test the trap?

If everything goes wrong, your friends can pull the image out the painting and you can all escape back to the empty place.

>>505731
Hang on. Ask them who the champion is. Antonidas perhaps? Or the Dean, whatever his name is?

I am worried about proceeding alone, but I mean, they were about to attack us anyway... Ask them how long they expect you to wait. Who are in the endless lines?

...yeah this is probably a trap. Maybe we should try to overpower and interrogate them instead.

Kaktus 2013/04/15(Mon)02:36 No. 505848 ID: b3ca75
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>ask book if he has any idea on what to do or expect.
Ah, The sleeping cult… they are all a bit loony, so it’s hard to say how they will act. Generally they are more interesting in more… carnal pleasures… so… um… don’t open any doors that you hear moaning behind.

Before we go, can I ask a few questions? How long do you expect me to wait in these endless lines and who is this champion you speak of?
The endless lines are just a name. There’s no one there. As for the champion, he’s the sleeping ones prince. He comes here every five hundred years when the sleeping ones wakes to… um… continue the family tree. You know, the whole bow chi-
Let’s just go.

--------------------

Are you sure you can find your way in here? I mean, we’ve been walking for twenty minutes and I’m pretty sure we walked in a circle for a while.
Oh, we are just about to arrive. Don’t worry, this place is built like a labyrinth to confuse any enemies of the sleeping one, that’s why it feels like yo-
Death to the ageless one! Long live the ascended one!!
…this isn’t part of the trap…

Insert it’s a trap!_

I think they are infected. Also are their eyes bleeding? Prepare to fight!

Do a scan on these things too.

>>505848
Scythes out! Quickly kill the nearest one with its back to you, and ask our sortof-ally if this is the right way to the ageless one or if we should run the other direction.

If we need to clear this room, let's go almost full hog. Kill all opposition. Drain Life/Energy, maybe Raise Dead if you wanna and think you can control the results, but don't eat anyone.

If this isn't the right way, then run for it. We gotta get to Liz and protect her.

Oh god this entire cult is made up of Kevros and Liz's children isn't it? Oh wait the cultists also have sex so I bet some of it is just their incestuous descendants, ok that may just make it worse. Anyway just start killing the red eyes, maybe make a bad joke about clear eyes in a monotone.

Kaktus 2013/04/15(Mon)04:54 No. 505856 ID: b3ca75
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>Do a scan on these things.
Raised – Semi-Sentient Undead.
Strong – Negative Energy.
Weak – Drain.
>are their eyes bleeding?
Yes, yes they are. Or was. The blood has dried up.

>Quickly kill the nearest one with its back to you.
Claire decapitates Raised 1 for 44 (Critical!)(Surprise!) damage!
Raised 1 has been slain!
>make a bad joke about clear eyes in a monotone.
Um… She had something in her eye… and… I helped her get it out?

>ask our sortof-ally if this is the rig-
Death to the interlo- argh!
Raised 2 attacks Zealot for 14 damage!
Zealot has been slain!
…something tells me these guys don’t really know how to fight…

Insert Leeerooooy_

Welp. Time to slaughter some zombies. Blade dance time! And hit them with a drain if you need the hp since they're weak to it and all.

...can we re-animate the corpses to fight on our side, or is zombie-ism something that only works once?

I say drain and slash tell they are all gone, and also destroy that glyph on the ground because I'm sure it won't help you in any way.

Take out the three by the doorway first in case you need to make a tactical retreat. We should probably go make contact with one of the others and bring them up to speed on the situation as well as get them here.

Kaktus 2013/04/15(Mon)12:14 No. 505888 ID: b3ca75
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>...can we re-animate the corpses to fight on our side, or is zombie-ism something that only works once?
The undead generally disintegrate on death so it’s kind of hard to raise them again. There are some non-undead corpses here for me to use instead, though.
Claire Casts Raise dead! Claire creates Raised!
CONSUME FOR QUEEN CLAIRE! CONSUME EVERYTHING!
Claire’s Raised attacks Raised 2 for 14 damage!
Raised 2 has been slain!

>hit them with a drain. Take out the three by the doorway first.
Well… they seem to be unarmed… hug time!
Claire Energy drains Raised 3, 4, 5 for 22 (Weak) damage!
Raised 3, 4, 5 has been slain!

Kaktus 2013/04/15(Mon)12:16 No. 505890 ID: b3ca75
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>Blade dance time!
I don’t think my dancing skills can be used like that at all… instead let’s just hit them over the head when they come close.
Raised 6 attacks Claire for 0 damage! Unable to pierce Cloth (+Steel)!
Raised 6 attacks Claire for 14 damage(Arm)!
Claire attacks Raised 6 for 11 damage!
Claire’s Raised attacks Raised 7 for 14 damage!
Raised 6, 7 has been slain!
…ouch…

>We should probably go make contact with one of the others and bring them up to speed on the situation as well as get them here.
Except I have no idea how to get back to them… or how to send you guys. This place is a labyrinth, remember? …which beg the question, where do I go now?

CONSUME THEIR CORPSES, MY QUEEN!
Use your indoor voice, minion.
Yes, my queen, oh the great consumer!

Insert feast_

>>505890
Bad Claire, no using the m word. Treat your undead servants like people, even if they do lack free will.

don't know, think you can ask your undead for some directions or maybe feel out for a stronger power source, since I'm guessing that Liz should be pretty powerful. If not then I'm going to half to say just use eeny meeny miny moe and hope for the best.

We should probably dismiss your minion now. We probably don't want to give the still living zealots the impression that we're here to slaughter and consume them and if we do find our way back to the others we don't need another reason for Thanra to mistrust us. Why exactly is this raised talking like this anyway? Claire, you aren't having cravings are you, check your Necromantic Power level.

As for where to go move the bed and check whatever that purple sigil is with a scan. If that doesn't lead to anything useful just start checking doors and be prepared to see something unsavory.

...I don't suppose either of the guys you animated remembers how to get around in here? (Also- not to self, remember to turn off our unintelligent undead when we're done with them).

If that doesn't work... try opening all those doors up there?

>>505890
Do not consume sentients. Raise more undead though, we'll need the help. Hey, can you Drain Life one of your minions to regain health? Personally I think it's fine if you treat zombies like minions, because they aren't really... hang on. Do zombies retain any of their old memories? Maybe you can ask one where to go next. Also, if they do retain memories maybe we should treat them with a bit more respect, but I still think using them as meatshields and HP batteries is fine. It's not like we're going to bring them with us when we leave, and I doubt the living zealots will appreciate having undead walking around.

Kaktus 2013/04/15(Mon)13:13 No. 505898 ID: b3ca75
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> Hey, can you Drain Life one of your minions to regain health?
Yes, yes I can.
>Bad Claire, no using the m word.
Fine, I’ll start calling them living impaired then…
>ask your undead for direction.
Consume!
>Claire, you aren't having cravings are you, check your Necromantic Power level.
Well, I’m feeling a bit peckish…
[Necromantic power: Average! Humanity: Average!]
>We should probably dismiss your minion now.
WHY!?!?! I’M SORRY, MY QU-
[Minion dismissed.]

>Pick a door. prepared to see something unsavory.
Let’s go with the one farthest to the left…
…
…and I should really have expected to walk in on someone having sex… but I didn’t…
Ah, an outsider. Are you here to join our celebration, child? It will begin as soon as the first pair in front of us is done. Or maybe you simply want to watch? We do not judge your preferences here, not among the children of the sleepless one…

Insert …I don’t even know anymore…_

>>505898
Tell them they're under attack, and we would like to help them defend the Ageless One.

say your here to see the sleeping one actually but your guide cut out on you when someone else came up to him and asked if he wanted a shag then just left you there after saying "I'm sure you'll find it". so if you could give us some directions or something that would be very nice and if he ask why you want to see the sleeping one just say you heard it was the 500 year celebration thing coming up and, uh you wanted to go? might need to work on the why part but yeah pretty much what I said.

Someone calling themselves the Ascended One has mind-controlled some of their members in order to kill the ageless one, quick do they have any way to call the Champion we may need his weaponized Cod-piece.

Look, I was just trying to get to the customer service department when I was attacked by zombies and my guide killed. You guys have some problems, here.

Kaktus 2013/04/15(Mon)14:34 No. 505926 ID: b3ca75
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I’m here to see the sleeping one, but my guide was eaten by zombies. You should probably do something about that.
Oh, don’t worry, they will be resurrected soon enough. Our mistress power is strong in here. We are practically immortal… which is a good thing considering some of our fetishes…
…right… um… how do I get to your mistress?
Why would you like to meet her?
For the five hundred celebration thing?
You mean the awakening? I’m sorry, but you are a bit early. We still need to wait for the champion to arrive… but don’t fret, he should be here any year now…
Um… I need customer service?
…you need what? We don’t sell anything. We can’t give you service for something we don’t have. Besides, the ageless one is asleep. She won’t wake up before the champion comes.
mmm… right there…
Well, seems like we have little time before our little celebration here starts. Are you sure you don’t want to join?
…yes, I’m sure.
If you wish… but customer service? For what? Who’ve tricked you to come here?

Insert Live porno_

We kind of need help getting to our friends now, they were in a room almost exactly like this one except it had a couch and table and only had three doors. Your sure we can't talk to the Ageless One now, it is kind of an emergency, we were told she was the only one who could clear up our little Borequeen infection. We also had some questions about why she made us a Lich and gave us the Voice of Many.

these guys seem a little more, well, sane so I say let them know the voice of the many would like to speak to Liz as we kinda seem to have some piss ant necromancer and an undead army after us and they seems to be trying to kill Liz as well to make sure we never get to talk to her... you know your average Tuesday.

>>505926
Oh, just explain everything. I'm tired of this.

>>506003
Specifically point out that you need to speak to someone proficient in dream combat so you can drive out the Queen Boreworm haunting your dreamspace and doing unspeakable things to you.

These guys should understand the urgency of getting that problem solved today.

Kaktus 2013/04/16(Tue)01:08 No. 506033 ID: b3ca75
File 136609968325.png - (54.00KB , 900x600 , 62.png )

Are you sure we can’t talk to the ageless one? I really need to know why she made me a lich.
A lich? That doesn’t sound like something she would do at all. Are you sure it was her?
Pretty sure. She even gave me the one of many.
What!? You have the voices? That’s…. that’s not possible!
At least direct me to someone who can teach me Dreamscape combat. That’s why I’m here.
I… you know, I think it’s best that you speak with the first Zealot about this. He would know what to do about all this. Just go through those double doors while thinking about the taste of peaches.
Sounds easy enough…
Then go through the door on the left while thinking about your one true love. It’s very important that you only think about one person.
…but… but I’m in a relationship with more than one person…
Well, too bad. Choose one of them… and why are you with multiple people? I thought you guys on the outside settle with only one.
I’m a Mantis. We’re practice Polygamy.
Really? Man, we really need to invite more mantises here… we should really do with some exotic people in these gatherings. Anyway, when you enter the second door, the one thinking about love, go straight forward through the double doors and think about the thing the ageless one loves most.
Which is…?
You figure it out.
…so… taste of peaches, the one I love most and the thing Liz loves most…
Correct. Now excuse me, I got an orgy to attend to.
…so… what I’m I supposed to think about?

Insert Then you have to think about the smell of purple.

I dunno. Think about your plushie?

>>506033
1) Taste of peaches.

2) Renault because you've spent the most time with him, so you probably love him most. It's not like you're choosing to love only him or anything.

3) Kevros. Sex with kevros, maybe. Or maybe just sex, if 'thing' excludes people. Might want to clear that up- ask if the last one isn't a person. It would be somewhat unfair if you had to think of a person you never met.

Also oh god that is sick. They just killed the couple that were fucking. Probably as part of the sex act. We're in a goddamned pit of Slaanesh! I hope they don't do that to people they invite to the orgy, too. Or do visitors resurrect too? This place is fucking weird.

Actually everyone here probably resurrects. It reminds me more of a Rakdos Pit then a Slaanesh pit though...

Yeah I guess go with Ren for door two, number three is probably Kevros in a maid uniform.

Oh man, the hedonism took a turn for the scary all of a sudden. Bad lizards! That is not how you orgy!

...could we cheat for door two? Imagine the ideal of the person you're in love with, not an actual person? Seems kind of a betrayal to chose. And you'd think there'd be a way for, you know, people who aren't actually in love to get through. Most people aren't, after all.

Kaktus 2013/04/16(Tue)06:32 No. 506061 ID: b3ca75
File 136611913174.png - (55.67KB , 900x600 , 63.png )

>ask if the last one isn't a person.
Is the la-
>oh god that is sick. They just killed the couple that was fucking.
And I’m leaving.

>Taste of peaches, Renault because you've spent the most time with him and Kevros in a maid uniform.
>It's not like you're choosing to love only him or anything.
…I guess… and I’ll try to imagine a Lizard named Kevros in a maid uniform…
…
Did it work? …snow?
Coffee…
Mistress!? Why are you awake!? The champion hasn’t arrived yet!
…no, he hasn’t… something’s… wrong?
We was attacked by some undead, Sleeping one, but we was able to repel their attack… and we got some guests too.
no… it’s not that… hmm… there are too many of you. Too many Braveswords. There are… three… no wait, two too many… yes, I can feel them… in one of the waiting rooms…
Oh, that’s just the guests... we’ll kick them out as soon as they are done here.
Bah, stupid outsiders, making me think Kevros got here… wake me up later, I’m going back to sleep.
Of course, sleeping one.
…wait, who is this?

Insert bah, humbug_

Ask her to show us what Kevros looks like in his maids outfit now. Everything looked different back when we were with her back then and I wanna know if he still has that adorable tail bow.

'Sup, Liz.

This is what happens when you're careless with god powers and don't watch where you leave your headvoices. Also, she's got an evil rape worm hiding in her head you were supposed to be able to do something about.

Man liz looks ancient now.

Kaktus 2013/04/16(Tue)08:06 No. 506069 ID: b3ca75
File 136612480783.png - (56.47KB , 900x600 , 64.png )

>'Sup, Liz.
WHAT!? How!? You guys are supposed to be with Kevros!? Did something happen!? I mean, you were still with him when he visited last time… Did Kevros give you away or were you forced to leave or… or what!?
>Man liz looks ancient now.
I don’t look a year older than one thousand, thank you very much.
>Ask her to show us what Kevros looks like in his maids outfit now.
Let’s save that feeling for when the real deal comes here, okay?

>Also, she's got an evil rape worm hiding in her head.
Rape what? I can’t sense any worm thingy in your head… the only thing I can see in there is some severe mental trauma from when someone tried to control you… do you mean that?
Maybe… I still need something to control the nightmares I get from it…
Well, it is dangerous to dream alone. Take this! *Snap*!

[Claire learned dream walk!]

That should make you lucid in your dreams… and… why are you staring like that?
…it’s just… you look nothing like the you I meet in my dream…
Dream? What dream?

Insert illusion and dreams_

>Did Kevros give you away or were you forced to leave or… or what!?
Dunno. Last thing we remember is you getting bored and blowing up the universe. Then we were with her. ...and sometime in between we went and bugged ghost-graven when he was in the middle of getting it on in the beyond. Heh. Don't remember hanging with Kev. Maybe it hasn't happened for us yet? Stupid non-linear perspective.

Hey, uh, what's up with Liz's hand? Is that bone? Metal?

Oh we've had a few strange dreams involving you, back in the old shape.

yeah according to Claire here well she was dying with rust lung you came to her in a dream and made her an offer to save her life... by turning her into a lich. You even gave her us apparently.

We somehow ended up in her head a long while ago when we were apparently out of it, we've only been aware for about a week. Antonidas and Car’zun have been helping us keep our sanity and encouraged us to find the vessel. Also one of Car’zun's old apprentices wants to kill us to take the vessel and voices.

Kaktus 2013/04/16(Tue)14:04 No. 506097 ID: b3ca75
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>Hey, uh, what's up with Liz's hand? Is that bone? Metal?
Oh, sorry, I’ve kind of just woken up and haven’t had the time to probably create a body yet. Don’t worry about it.
>Antonidas and Car’zun.
Who? Car’zun? I have no idea, who he is. As for Antonidas… do you mean the archmage? He’s been dead for the last thousand years. I can still feel his soul getting repurposed in the afterlife. There is no way you can have spoken to that guy.

>yeah according to Claire here well she was dying with rust lung you came to her in a dream and made her an offer to save her life... by turning her into a lich. You even gave her us apparently.
I did? I’m pretty sure I didn’t. I’ve kind of been dead for the last five hundred years, so no, that wasn’t me. And why would I turn someone into a lich and give them you? I’m not that impulsi- oh shiny! …no wait, it’s just a snowflake…
…so, that wasn’t you?
I’m pretty sure. Here, let me read your dreams… may I?

Insert fateful decision_

...Liz shouldn't need to form a body. She's a construct. He body survived / will survive, intact, until the end of time.

I think this is an imposter. We're looking at our undead opponent.

>>506100
yup, this.

>>506100
In that case we should ask her something only Liz would know... any suggestions?

How about asking how they killed the final boss of our last adventure? Or what she bought in that sex shop?

Kaktus 2013/04/16(Tue)15:56 No. 506112 ID: b3ca75
File 136615299575.png - (57.09KB , 900x600 , 66.png )

>In that case we should ask her something only Liz would know... any suggestions?
I’m Lizbeth Bravesword, formally known as Suss. I was created by Jacob as a sex toy but was later repurposed to carry one of the crystal focuses of Virtue. I made Kevros lose his virginity when he was dressed in a maid outfit and I was in the room next to the one where Graven lost his “other” virginity to Maggy. I helped destroy the machine called Virtue / Oracle / Wrath with the help of Kev, Graven, Maggy, Hans, Helga, Sonya and Olof, but in the end it was Kevros codpiece that finished the job. …and…

Lizbeth casts Time stop (universe)! The universe has been stopped!
Lizbeth cast Perfect Illusion! Kevros illusion have been created!
Lizbeth stops sustaining time stop! The universe is moving again!

…um… w-what just h-happened?
Happy now?

>what she bought in that sex shop?
Fuzzy handcuffs, reinforced codpiece(because Kev fired the last one into orbit… I don’t even know if that thing have landed yet…) , Skill book (erotic tails positions), Skill book (magical sex encounters), Skill book (Bondage), nun outfit and two maid outfist… for both me and Kev.

>...Liz shouldn't need to form a body. She's a construct. He body survived / will survive, intact, until the end of time.
My body is still biological. It will rot away if I don’t keep it supplied with power, which is exactly what it does when I kill myself. I don’t really have the patience to wait five hundred years for Kev to come back, now do I? But, if you don’t trust me, fine, you can leave whenever you want. You have gotten what you came for, didn’t you? But, if you want to know what’s really going on you’ll have to take my hand. Your choice. Either way, I’m going back to bed when you’re done, so hurry it up.

Insert Shake that poor sinners hand_

That's PRETTY FUCKIN' LIZ right there. While I believe and trust her, I still get the feeling that we shouldn't offer our-

You know what, fuck it. Yes. Read our dreams, Liz.

Well, all thats right. Its your decision claire, do you want her to read your dreams?

So two of our companions are actually Liz's direct descendants? I wonder why she temporarily mistakened a third though. I guess we may as well take her hand in case she's right and we've been deceived, though keep your wits about you in case she's the deceiver.

Well, that's either Liz, or the imposter is omniscient and too powerful to oppose anyways.

Forgive us the paranoia and mistrust, Liz. We went through one too many layers of illusions to trust a lot of things on first glance.

Give her your hand, Clair.

>>506112
That is a fucking lot of proof.

Let her in. Just be sure she's safe, too. I mean, this could be a trap- there is after all a phylactery in your dreamspace, and apparently Antonidas is NOT in the book. This means everything the book told us could be a lie. The Dean could actually be evil. Maybe we should have her take a look at the book first, just to be sure.

Oh right also we're preeeeetty sure that Kevros is in fact Waran, Renault, AND Dylon. All three of them have elements of Kevros' personality. Well, I'm not so sure about Waran actually- maybe instead of Waran, the third piece is Blackadder? Liz should go out and verify who the triple-soul is. Unless she wants to just forget about the reunion this cycle and let you have Kevros for now.

Kaktus 2013/04/16(Tue)16:34 No. 506122 ID: b3ca75
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Lizbeth dispels perfect illusion! Kevros cease to exist!

>You know what, fuck it. Yes. Read our dreams, Liz.
Give me your hand then… Claire, was it?
Yes…
Hmm… that’s… odd? Your data is all twisted? It’s corrupted? What’s going on here?
Corrupted? As in bad influence?
No, I mean your programming have been corrupted by someone… wait… It’s… why would he- Wait, what’s thi-

Kaktus 2013/04/16(Tue)16:35 No. 506123 ID: b3ca75
File 136615530055.png - (59.16KB , 900x600 , 68.png )

AAAAH!!!!
AAAH?
AAAH!?!

Clf#¤”!!!11001!#/! Dispels Lizbeths true/false error!

Kaktus 2013/04/16(Tue)16:35 No. 506124 ID: b3ca75
File 136615531696.png - (56.01KB , 900x600 , 69.png )

Lizbeth, The sleeping god, has been slain!
~500 Zealots have been slain!

…what just happen? …did she… just turn into dust?

Insert what did I just smoke?_

thats... not good. that isn't good at all. I'm pretty sure that is in fact very, very, very bad.

>>506124
Goddamn it. It WAS a trap. We were set up. By who, though?

Uhhhhhhh... fuck. R...rewind?

Demand answers from the book. Tell it you know it's not Antonidas.

OH SHITFUCK. Claire, you were a Trojan. Something inside you just hacked Liz to death.

...and it gets worse. If we don't get her back? You just caused a time paradox. The universe is gonna die, and it ain't gotta wait for heat death this time.

This a probably a really got time to shit yourself

Soooo... level up?

...I don't suppose you can reanimate that dust? If not, find something to store some in in case we run into someone who can.

I think the worm queen just used you, and got what it wanted...

>>506214
Pretty sure it takes more than just a worm queen to hack reality.

Kaktus 2013/04/17(Wed)00:47 No. 506248 ID: b3ca75
File 136618484313.png - (62.12KB , 900x600 , 70.png )

>Demand answers from the book. Tell it you know it's not Antonidas.
What the hell just happen, book!? I know that you aren’t Antonidas, so who are you!? …Book!? …Antonidas!?!! …hello…?
…
…It’s just blank…
>...I don't suppose you can reanimate that dust?
I kind of need a body for that. Besides, I don’t think making a zombie out of her will help.

>find something to store some in in case we run into someone who can.
[Claire gained dust of the mad god!]
…so… what now? I have to get back to the others… but h-
RaaaahGH1011!!¤%#!ERROR!

…Are you seeing what I’m seeing?

Insert Pac Man_

>>506248
Yes. We're either stuck in a True Illusion and need proof to break out like last time we saw this sort of thing, or someone has actually managed to break reality.

Run. Out those double doors. Maybe try to Analyze the glitch-zealot while we're at it. If this is a True Illusion we need as much information as we can to break it.

It can't be a True Illusion because it isn't nearly convincing enough. Plus Lizbeth would have dispelled it like she did Kevros. Something just fucked up her, and if it can fuck up a god of everything, then it can probably fuck up everything too!

We probably are not seeing what you're seeing. Colorful columns of monospace letters covering the right side of the courtyard? Some rainbowlicious thing made out of lizard parts, but not chopped off actually ceasing to exist at sharp boundaries? Lizard parts which I might add were formerly smoking bones not lizard parts.

Well, if you're seeing a third of the room get overrun with rainbow monospaced alphabet soup and a pile of dead lizard bones replaced with a technicolored reality-corrupted zealot, then I'd say we're seeing the same thing. And if you aren't it doesn't really change much, 'cause we'd best be getting' out of here ASAP either way.

Use Analyze on the warped zealot while running through the door you came in through. Try thinking all the thoughts possible of getting the fuck out of here you can and maybe the portal magic will pick up on that and activate the emergency exit.

I have a hunch that without Liz's power, all the reality warping magics in this place are going to rapidly unravel, including those that make it even exist. It's going to quickly become a non-place, along with everything in it.

And, Claire, just so you know, we've seen this kind of reality breakdown before. Not just long, long ago; Recently. When we tried switching focus to Kevros from Dylon reality glitched out and somehow Dylon and Folken's locations swapped. ...And that coupled with what's happening here and Liz's surprise at who corrupted your data is giving me a bad feeling that Kevros is involved in this.

Kaktus 2013/04/17(Wed)06:27 No. 506275 ID: b3ca75
File 136620525297.png - (46.58KB , 900x600 , 71.png )

>Colorful columns of monospace letters covering the right side of the courtyard? Some rainbowlicious thing made out of lizard parts?
That’s exactly what I see!
>Analyze the glitch-zealot.
Corrupted – Error!
Weak )# ColdColdColdColdColdCold
SEEREALTHRUTH – Malfunction!
eeverythingIseeeverythingIse

HoSdog StahwGnineppahOtEm TiStruh Pleh EsaelpPlehEm!

>we'd best be getting' out of here ASAP. Try thinking all the thoughts possible of getting the fuck out of here.
Run away!
…
I’m telling you, he didn’t turn into a corpse because of that bad joke I said.
Maybe he died because you stole his magical artifact? I know you took something from that box!
I was just looking! And besides, it said that you we’re free to use them whenever you wanted.
I don’t know… those toys shouldn’t really be… sanitary to keep in a waiting room.
I’m still bitter that we missed that show they we’re going to do.
You’re lucky they turned into bone before they started that… “play” and not under it.

Insert Got a bone for you_

guys we have a problem. the guy who sent us here was a fake. A thing made to be a trap for Liz! It killed her and all her zealots. Which is a pretty big deal as Liz was\is the god of your universe.

Also her zealots might be turning into abominations pretty soon so destroy that pile of bones and get ready to swap the picture with the sun because we are OUT of here once Claire gets back.

So anyone have a clue on who would want to reveal this world as a construct? I mean its not a big deal, theres lots of theories running around that the realm we are from could be one as well.

Guys, we got a problem! Found the sleeping one, she tried to check something in my head, and then she melted to dust, all the zealots died, and reality itself started unraveling!

...this was all a trick. Someone wanted the god dead. And we gotta get the heck out of here.

>HoSdog StahwGnineppahOtEm TiStruh Pleh EsaelpPlehEm!

If we take each capitol letter to be the last letter in a word and reverse the order of the letters in each word

>oH godS whatS happeninG tO mE iT hurtS helP pleasE helP mE!

Well that is certainly bad how are we going to help these poor people.

Kaktus 2013/04/17(Wed)11:39 No. 506306 ID: b3ca75
File 136622397310.png - (48.79KB , 900x600 , 72.png )

>So anyone have a clue on who would want to reveal this world as a construct?
…wait, the world is a construct? What?

We got a problem!
“Oh no” problem or “Oh shit” problem?
“Oh gods, we are all going to die” problem! Apparently someone used me to kill the sleeping one along with all her zealots and now reality itself is starting to collapse!
Wait, the sleeping one is real? …and you killed a god!? What the hell?
Um… guys? Is there supposed to be numbers floating around in the air like that?
Turn the goddamned painting around already so we can get out of here!
But I did this really nice picture of a snake I wanted to try out…
Wait, no! What are you do-

Kaktus 2013/04/17(Wed)11:39 No. 506307 ID: b3ca75
File 136622399495.png - (30.47KB , 235x91 , BeepBeep.png )

-Codec call-

Kaktus 2013/04/17(Wed)11:41 No. 506309 ID: b3ca75
File 136622407023.png - (125.36KB , 638x449 , Shortsshorts.png )

This is snake. Colonel, can you hear me?
Loud and clear! What’s the situation, snake?
…You were the one who called me.
Oh, right. Anyway, Snake, Liquid have-
Liquid!? Didn’t he die at shadow moses? …and when I killed his possessed/not possessed arm… and when I killed his clone in the sixth game that was actually an alien from the future… that was actually a clone from another alien?
Actually, they changed it so it actually was Raiden that was the time traveling alien in the seventh game... but that’s not important right now. What’s important is that Liquid is building another Metal Gear!
Metal Gear!?
Metal Gear! So you need to blow that shit up! It’s in Zanzibar! Go sneak that shit!
Okay!
But snake… what about our honeymoon!?
Otacon? Where did you come from? No matter, Metal Gear!?
Snake, you don’t love like you used to anymore!
Metal Gear?

[You are now Erect Snake! What do you do!?]

Insert Hotness, I wanna bang you!_

>wait, the world is a construct? What?
Well, a construction. A simulation would be a better word for it. Long story short: nothing you know is real or actually, well, exists. Liz kind of became a god in the process of finding a way to keep all the non-existing stuff, well, existing. So taking her out is a big deal.

>What do you do!
Liz is dead! We created a time paradox.

MISSION FAILEO

remember the basics of CQC and also remember to bring antidote for the DEADLY ZANZIBAR HAMSTERS

>>506310
meh, they think and feel, real enough in my mind.

No, Hal you stop this instant. Rosemary was a horrible support character and we are not repeating that nonsense again.

>>506309
Otacon can come along for our honeymoon. It'll be just like old times.

>>506311
DEADLY POISONOUS ZANZIBAR HAMSTERS, I mean. damn the lack of edit features!

>>506312
Oh, I agree. Unfortunately, it's the collapsing programing architecture whose opinion matters.

Kaktus 2013/04/18(Thu)05:40 No. 506486 ID: b3ca75
File 136628880769.png - (52.25KB , 272x186 , CQC.png )

>remember the basics of CQC
[Erect snake gains Knifegun!]

>Otacon can come along for our honeymoon. It'll be just like old times.
You can come along too, Otacon. It’ll be just like the old days…
Like the one time I got so scared I pissed myself!?
That’s Revolver Ocelot fetish, not mine.
I meant it in a negative way. Dammit Snake, what’s happen to you lately!?
Come on, Otacon, one last mission. It’ll be fun! …for me?
…fine. One more…
Yay!

Kaktus 2013/04/18(Thu)05:40 No. 506487 ID: b3ca75
File 136628882443.png - (930.08KB , 970x653 , WhereIsMinsc.png )

Brrrrrrother!
Liquid!?
Yet again you come to foil my plans! Don’t worry, this time I’m prepared!
Metal Gear!?
No… something far worse… DEADLY POISONOUS ZANZIBAR HAMSTERS.
Hah! I got protection against their poison. They are useless against me.
The normal hamster yes… but not the MINIATURE GIANT POISONOUS SPACE ZANZIBAR HAMSTERS! I like to call it, METAL GEAR HAMSTER!
METAL GEAR!?!!?
Prepare for a crab bat- I mean hamster battle!
Otacon! How do I defeat this giant hamster!?
*Static*
OTACON!? …damn! Colonel, can you read me!?
I need scissors… 61!
COLONEL!? How do I defeat something like this!?

Insert Fisson Mailed_

Taunt liquid. Inform him he will never defeat you because you got all the superior dominant genes while he's stuck with the lousy inferior recessive ones.

DRINK LIQUID, HE WILL NEVER SEE IT COMING!

We shouldn't drink liquid yet. Unlike a real Metal Gear the Hamster will simply continue to rampage if Liquid is killed so we have to disable it before defeating Liquid. This is Zanzibar so we should just throw grenades at it's legs then drink Liquid.

>>506487
Go for the eyes!

>>506491
>>506491
>>506491
>>506491

Kaktus 2013/04/18(Thu)14:19 No. 506517 ID: b3ca75
File 136631997696.png - (217.63KB , 480x360 , SnakeDrinkingLiquid.png )

>Taunt liquid.
You can never win, Liquid! All my gens are the superior dominant ones while you’re stuck with the lousy inferior recessive ones!
:LiqiudPIX: GAH! I will fight you with my bare hands and a bare chest on top of Metal Gear for that!
…perfect.
>DRINK LIQUID, HE WILL NEVER SEE IT COMING!
:LiqiudPIX: Wait… what are you doing!? Noooo! My only weakness! …that, and below zero temperatures!
*Glug Glug*

Snake consumes Liquid! Liquid have been slain!

>Consult animal companion.
Minsc, how do I defeat a miniature giant space hamster!?
Go for the eyes, Boo, go for the eyes! YAA! …with grenades! YAA!
But it’s a Zanzibar hamster...
Oh, well… um… Run, Boo, RUN!
Snake, there’s only one way to defeat a giant Zanzibar hamster! You need to use Metal Gear!
Metal Gear!? But it’s not big enough to defeat this… thing!
Then there’s only one thing we can do…

>Create the biggest Metal gear!
Yeeesss…..

Kaktus 2013/04/18(Thu)14:19 No. 506518 ID: b3ca75
File 136631999822.png - (401.14KB , 547x522 , OneMoreTime.png )

Warning, Metal Gears Gearsness exceeds that of normal Metal values! ERROR! The Metal Gear has committed a Gear action and will shut Metal! All your unsaved Metal Gear will be lost! Have a nice Metal Gear.

Metal Gea-

*BOOM*

Kaktus 2013/04/18(Thu)14:20 No. 506519 ID: b3ca75
File 136632001606.jpg - (31.67KB , 500x346 , HarderBetterFasterStronger.jpg )

Game over.

A Metal gear solid parody and not even a mention of the box? What is this shit!?