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File 133330493964.png - (62.46KB , 800x600 , 1.png )
397671 No. 397671 ID: 14a1d0

These mountains are nice. Fresh air, pretty scenery. It's very relaxing.
Expand all images
No. 397672 ID: c8a6d1

Stain it with the blood of millions.

Alternatively, eat that flower.
No. 397673 ID: 14a1d0
File 133330507027.png - (88.98KB , 800x600 , 2.png )

Ngh... Now if somebody could do something about these fucking jagged cliffs, it would be perfect.
This climbing is bullshit.
No. 397675 ID: c8a6d1

Hi, Rynh. Can't you grow wings and fly up?
No. 397677 ID: b85f8c

Fly harder, noob.
No. 397678 ID: 14a1d0
File 133330519702.png - (149.98KB , 800x600 , 3.png )

Now apparently there's some kind of old shine or something on this mountain somewhere. I hope that shady bastard didn't rip me off, but the shady bastards chasing him made him seem kind of legit.
If so, there should be some sign of something nearby.
No. 397679 ID: c8a6d1

Why didn't you fly up? Also, there's something shiny above your head! Some kind of words!
No. 397689 ID: 6dddd5


No. 397691 ID: b85f8c

Nice duds. New sword, eh? Wait you're male today aren't you.

Go... mountain-wards.
No. 397692 ID: c8a6d1

I think I see a creaseline in her chest. Probably just small boobs/she's wearing a breastband.
No. 397699 ID: 14a1d0
File 133330594076.png - (35.12KB , 800x600 , 4.png )

What the hell? They're not small. They're perky, damn it.

Anyway, at least there's a cave here, so that's probably something similar to what I'm looking for.
No. 397700 ID: c8a6d1

Crawl backwards through the tunnel so you can watch the entrance and any attackers can only bite your ass and not your neck or something like that.
No. 397704 ID: 5887f3

Seconding this.
No. 397722 ID: f730a1

Shuffle awkwardly through the tunnel so the sharp rocks scrape all the dirt off your clothes and not tear them off in an erotic fashion.
No. 397726 ID: c6ec33

Enter that tunnel like a lottery.
No. 397754 ID: b85f8c

I can't tell how big that is compared to you, but go in it regardless. Breathe fire on anything that looks at you funny.
No. 397771 ID: 14a1d0
File 133331338474.png - (94.45KB , 800x600 , 5.png )

I should fit through there no problem, although I'm not sure how effective going in backwards and feeling around with my tail would be. Probably not very.
It doesn't really matter at the moment, because before I can even get to the mouth of the cave, a huge figure falls down in front of me, blocking the way.
No. 397774 ID: 14a1d0
File 133331353106.png - (140.90KB , 800x600 , 6.png )

"Get out of here, runt. This is Rockhorn clan territory and we don't take kindly to outsiders. Now beat it before I beat you."

Oh shit. Minotaurs. This could be a problem if they decide to throw me out of here, since it's a few hundred feet down. Besides, I've come to far to turn back now.
No. 397778 ID: d66d75

Surrender your body to him. APPLY FIRE TO FACE! Then run like the (half) kobold you are!
No. 397781 ID: ed57e8

good thing you had thodren to practice on. use the moves you earned on it.stab him and shoot lightning into the sword.
No. 397783 ID: 431fa8

Let diplomacy fail first before fighting. "I didn't mean to intrude on clan territory- I'm just looking for a shrine. Could you point me the right way?"
No. 397785 ID: c2c011

Best him in a contest of strength! Then have your way with him after you have defeated him. By which I mean that you should ride around on his shoulders while shouting weird stuff.
No. 397789 ID: b85f8c

Yeah, go with that.
No. 397790 ID: 369d34

This, except substitute "GROIN" for "FACE."
No. 397929 ID: 14a1d0
File 133332746860.png - (107.55KB , 800x600 , 7.png )

I'm not giving up just because some over-muscled tower of beef says I have to. It doesn't matter how big he is! I'll send him flying anyway!
No. 397945 ID: 14a1d0
File 133332848826.png - (182.72KB , 800x600 , 8.png )

While he's on guard against a sword attack, I hit him with a blast of flame. Nobody can survive being obscured that much.
No. 397948 ID: fa9f7e

Yes they can. Sword his face.
No. 397955 ID: 14a1d0
File 133332917123.png - (129.17KB , 800x600 , 9.png )

>Yes they can. Sword his face.

Sorry, pal. At least you'll have a cool scar to show off when you tell people about how to lost to the great and powerf-fufu... That's a little solid.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were gonna fight me. Don't handicap yourself with a toy sword. You'd better come at me for real."

Aw, shit.
No. 397956 ID: fa9f7e

Lightning his heart until it asplodes.
No. 397959 ID: b85f8c

Last time we tried lightning, she shocked herself.

Well. This guy is tougher than Thodren, and you couldn't beat him. My advice is to not fight, and... uh... try talking? Something like "ohgodI'msorry I'mjustlookingforashrine pleasedon'tkillme"
No. 397960 ID: fa9f7e

Or use your complete lack of feminine wiles.
No. 397961 ID: f730a1

Yank the sword away and start swinging like a madman.
No. 397963 ID: b9d767

Seeing as how we probably aren't going to be able to beat him, we have to come up with a good alibi for attacking him.

Like: "Oh my god, I thought you were someone else, sorry about that."

That's if fighting is out of the question.
No. 397965 ID: 369d34

Consider that this guy is might actually be a polymorphed dragon or half-dragon. He did shrug of your blast furnace breath and caught your blade bare handed. But, if you continue to press the fight, push all your lightning up the blade into his arm.
No. 397966 ID: ed57e8

apply lightning to his balls until they explode.
No. 397971 ID: 54103e

Metal conducts electricity.

Zap his ass.
No. 397991 ID: d5ee6f

He's not even singed. Ask him he's the guardian of the shrine.
No. 399032 ID: 14a1d0
File 133374649736.png - (102.31KB , 800x600 , 10.png )

By lightning, you mean kick him in the head, right? 'Cuz I don't know what else that could mean. I'm pretty sure I would remember if I could shoot lightning.
No. 399033 ID: f730a1


No. 399040 ID: c2c011

Kick him in the balls! Don't stop until he's a soprano!
No. 399041 ID: a9298b

smash his face into the wall
No. 399042 ID: ed57e8

stuff a finger in his nose and shoot fire out of it, burn his brain!!
No. 399049 ID: e3f578

"I'm really only fighting cause i like fighting, plus I figure, hey, this might be fun for the other guy too! Know where a shrine is?"
No. 399055 ID: 4bdd79

I'm pretty sure that this is some time before Rynh became a merc, so we can't win this through brute force.
No. 399096 ID: 369d34

Grab the bull by the horns, specifically the base of them, and jam your lips against his in an awkward kiss. That should stun him with suprise. ...Then clamp on and fire-breath down his throat until his lungs are ash.
No. 399218 ID: 14a1d0
File 133380886406.png - (106.58KB , 800x600 , 11.png )

As great as brutally murdering this guy for defending this home sounds, I don't think I could manage any of that anyway, seeing as how he can just slap the shit out of me.

"Ugh... Okay, okay. I'm just looking for some old shrine buried around here. Have you seen anything?"

He snorts and stomps toward me, "You come here, try to light me on fire and cut me up and you want me to help you? Are you crazy?"
No. 399219 ID: e3f578

"Minotaur's like crazy. And a good fight. Come on, look at you, I knew you could take it. What minotaur guardian can't take a heat blast and stop a sword like he's made out of rock? Why hold back against a minotaur? Good fight, good fight."

Bullshit him like you knew he would be fine, totally. Or just not give a fuck about him taking offense, ignoring any and all protests politely by completely not acknowledging them.

Acting like an adorable naive hero might be the path of least resistance.
No. 399220 ID: c2c011

Looks like he still has some resistance in him. Kick him in the balls until he starts helping.
No. 399221 ID: ed57e8

"maybe a little. but i'm not asking for help, i'll find it myself. just asking if you can point me in the right direction so i will stop bugging you."
No. 399222 ID: fa9f7e

This, except omit the "Minotaurs like" bit and the "Good fight, good fight" bit at the end. Those sound insincere. Also, since he's a guardian, he should be guarding you and your tiny breasts. He has proven himself competent, so he may be your bodyguard as you search for the shrine.
No. 399226 ID: bdb3f8

I'll go along with general sentiment. Though feel free to complain that you were at least trying to nick him.

man, I dunno WHEN this is. on the one hand, how does I shot lightning, on the other hand, chestbumps
No. 399239 ID: 4bdd79

Yes. Yes you are.
No. 399240 ID: 923fca

"You forced my hand. Only a coward would have let a greeting like that go without a challenge. I'm no runt. I'm the biggest, strongest, prettiest (half) Kobold in the world!"

Bravado will get you everywhere. Hell, if he laughs it might be a good chance to book it. Past him, not back down the mountain. You aren't anywhere near over your head yet.

( also I swear if this turns out to be the story of rynh's 'first time', I will die. )
No. 399400 ID: 14a1d0
File 133389184458.png - (152.29KB , 800x600 , 12.png )

"What? You can't take a little roughhousing from one little kobold?"

"You breathed fire on me and almost broke my hand with that huge chunk of iron slag you call a sword! Kobolds don't do that!"

"Well, I did and I'm a kobold. Maybe that will teach you not to attack things just because you think they're weak and defenseless."


Working things out with calm, rational discussion is always the best way to smooth over little misunderstandings.
No. 399406 ID: c2c011

Point out that he looked like he was about to attack so you preemptively attacked in accordance with your kobold instincts.
No. 399409 ID: fa9f7e

Tell him that he's proven himself worthy of guarding you and your "perky" breasts while you search for a shrine.
No. 399411 ID: fa9f7e

Also, make out at the first opportunity
No. 399413 ID: 2ed56b


This reverse-psychology thing is working great, keep it up!
No. 399415 ID: ec2e47

Remind him that he declared he was going to attack you, and that sneak attacks are a proud and ancient kobold tradition.
No. 399417 ID: f72f26


this, and if he argues accuse him of being racially insensitive to your kobold culture
No. 399464 ID: bbee3d

Point out that, by your own reasoning, your attacking him is a sign that you DON'T consider him weak and defenseless! Now that you have tested him and proved his strength, ask if he wants to join you in your mission.
No. 400245 ID: 14a1d0
File 133411492203.png - (129.91KB , 1024x768 , 13.png )

"Yeah well, you said you were going to attack me first, so you started it."

Hmm... Something is off here. I don't remember that guy being there at all.

"Please, don't mind me. If you want to continue killing each other it will save me the effort of exterminating you."

On one hand, the fact that weird guys are following me makes me confident there's some kind of treasure here. On the other, now there's weird guys following me.
No. 400247 ID: 431fa8

Preemptively attack in accordance with your kobold instincts!
No. 400248 ID: b85f8c

Go "How about we team up on this guy?"

After he agrees, try a sneak attack while the big guy distracts the interloper.
No. 400249 ID: 2153a4

"Hey. He just threatened the both of us. Should we really stand for that?"
No. 400250 ID: 61e7f9

Can you push him with wind or earth movement or something to get him closer to minoguy?

Rynh, what the fuck is wrong with your sword?
No. 400252 ID: 369d34

"Hey, this guy is threatening us both! Let's get 'em!"

Flame-breath the weird guy while ducking behind the minotaur for cover. Try to retrieve your big metal stick sword.
No. 400310 ID: a1d7ad

How about we continue this conversation after we have beat this guy into a pulp?
No. 400526 ID: c2c011

Throw dirt in his face and then rip his fucking head off!
No. 401241 ID: 14a1d0
File 133445274454.png - (173.94KB , 1024x607 , 14.png )


Wow. A body really breaks up when it smashes down a mountainside. This is a chilling and brutal reminder of the fragile gift that is life.

"Nice hit. He's really got some momentum going there." says the minotaur guy.
No. 401244 ID: ed57e8

"okay, so what do i need to get past? do i need to do some weird ass ritual to become a honorary clan member or some shit?
No. 401246 ID: bbee3d

See if he dropped any useful stuff on his way down.

Is the minotaur more willing to talk now that you've had some time to bond through random violence?
No. 401247 ID: b85f8c

"Thanks. Truce?"
No. 401249 ID: 2fe09b

"I used to do body bowling with bandits back home on some nice rocky hills."
No. 401250 ID: 369d34

Thank the minotaur guy for the compliment, while stepping away from the edge so he doesn't do to you what you did to that poor chump.

Maybe tell him you'll stop trying to get to that shrine in his clan's territory if there's any enemies of his clan that'd have decent loot he could point you to. Say you're only really in this for the money anyway.
No. 401495 ID: 61e7f9

"Ok, so where were we? I was wanting to get inside and you were totally going to let me in there."
No. 417093 ID: 14a1d0
File 133834530279.png - (211.31KB , 1024x768 , 15.png )

"Okay Mr. Minotaur..."
"Okay, Thodren. I just wanna check out this cave. Is it some sacred tribal thingy or anything?"
"No." he replies, rubbing his hand.
"Then how about how about you say it's okay for me to be here, then I'm not trespassing and we don't have to fight?"
He looks at me, then grunts and grumbles to himself for a bit. "Yeah, fine. But only because I'm being reasonable and understanding and not because I see you as any kind of threat."

See? All diplomatical like.
No. 417095 ID: b85f8c

Awesome. Let's go see what's in this place then.
No. 417096 ID: 132b99

No. 417145 ID: 6ba105

He clearly sees he's no match for you and wishes to get on your good side prior to your inevitable rise to power, fame, and fortune.

Invite him along to witness what a badass adventurer you are. It will change his life forever, for the better.
No. 417147 ID: bccf7b


Slinko-sense ----- I mean, Friend-sense is tingling. I think he should join our party!

That's how these "adventures" work right?
No. 417240 ID: 42c1c6

what the fuck is this? Is this a flashback? You better not have gone back in time, you are pretty much the only person we've ever advised into a somewhat successful position.
No. 417244 ID: e3f578

Well let's go shrine it up
Why did you want to go her again? Some shady bastard said it was up here, but WHY?
No. 419935 ID: 14a1d0
File 133919955961.png - (120.85KB , 1024x768 , 16.png )

Right. Caves equal adventure. It's times like this that it's sort of okay to be part kobold, 'cuz it's pretty dark in here.

>Take the minotaur with you
What am I going to do with a towering bull monster with rippling muscles... Hehe... Oh gods, shut up.
He might be useful as something meaty to hide behind, though.
No. 419936 ID: c74c7d


He's got something meaty alright.

Besides, what's a smart girl without a burly bodyguard?
No. 419938 ID: 61e7f9

aw poop your sword is damaged

Yes, bring along meat shield / fuckbuddy.

No. 419941 ID: 132b99

look at markings on wall.
No. 419947 ID: 14a1d0
File 133920270751.png - (33.60KB , 800x600 , 17.png )

>Look at the wall carvings
Hmm... Looks kind of like a flame, a skull and the one on the bottom is almost completely worn off. I wonder what it was.
No. 419949 ID: 61e7f9

Ask meatshield what the fuck.
No. 419950 ID: 132b99

it's a giant SPIDER! so fire, death, and spiders.
No. 420041 ID: 14a1d0
File 133921716593.png - (129.03KB , 1024x768 , 18.png )

>fire, death, and spiders

But what does that even mean? Seems kind of silly to me.
No. 420042 ID: 132b99

it means shoot fire in the air or a spider will kill you to death.
No. 420043 ID: d1e9bf

It means that you fire the spiders to death.

Spiders like the one right above you. They can't see you if you don't move!
No. 420044 ID: d5ee6f

I think you should move to a place where you are not at right now because the place you are at is not a good place to be.
No. 420051 ID: fdad59

It means unload all your fire-breath at that giant arachnid directly above you, while swinging that great iron butter knife you call a sword upward to slice, or more likely, bludgeon, it. If it doesn't die right away, run away as fast as your little grey feet can carry you, and put that tall slab of minotaur between you and it.
No. 420057 ID: 61e7f9

fire breath up, retreat to entrance of cave.
No. 420058 ID: a9298b

it probably means fire kills spiders. spiders which may or may not be above you at any given time.
No. 420115 ID: 14a1d0
File 133925477151.png - (235.99KB , 1024x768 , 19.png )

>it probably means fire kills spiders

No, wait. I think I understand now. It's all pretty clear to me at this point.
No. 420116 ID: b85f8c

Drop and roll, Rynh. Being on fire is not cool.

After you douse yourself, run for it.
No. 420117 ID: 7acb8e

The upside is fire makes you naked.

I mean Stop Drop and Roll Rynh!
No. 420118 ID: a9298b

Well shit, probably should have considered that. Maybe you should enlist Thodren's help, seeing as how he seems essentially fireproof.
No. 420124 ID: 132b99

good thing you are sorta-fireproof otherwise that would of been bad. get out of dodge.
No. 420134 ID: c74c7d


No. 420151 ID: 001168

Roll smoking and flaming out of the cave, put yourself out, dust yourself off, then calmly ask Thodren if he knew about that spider.
No. 420154 ID: c7b4c4

Good thing mum was a red dragon or that would really hurt.
No. 420163 ID: fdad59

Its probably going to lunge forward, thinking its prey is dead. Sidestep it and stick your sword in its eye, before running out of here. Strip your burning clothes off once outside and smother them out.
No. 420208 ID: 14a1d0
File 133928589916.png - (128.05KB , 1024x768 , 20.png )

>good thing you are sorta-fireproof otherwise that would of been bad

Fuck you, I'mma dragon. Fire can't do shi- OW!
But, maybe I should use my flight time to come up with some kind of plan. This thing is very large and apparently made of stone.
Giant, fire-breathing, rock spider. I can deal with this. Just gotta think.
No. 420209 ID: 132b99

you need some mino muscle to hold a limb still then sever it at the joint.
No. 420212 ID: a3b384

Well we have an advantage with the fire breathing and could handle a giant spider that does that, but the whole made of stone thing is a problem. If you can't penetrate the carapace you're screwed. Best chance is to get onto it's back to avoid reach of it's legs. Then try to stab behind its head and pop it off, or at the spot between the middle and the thorax.
No. 420213 ID: e3d099

You're gonna need a shit ton of bug spray.
No. 420216 ID: 516a9d

Get on its back, and start bashing with your pommel. If the neck is a seam between the rocks, then you don't need to smash, just..

No. 420217 ID: fdad59

If you can get on the back of its head, you could jam your sword into its eye, or the joint between its head and body; Make a hole, and breathe fire-breath inside it. Jump up and grab onto one of its legs and climb on up there.
No. 420258 ID: f387a1

Attack its weak point for massive damage, obviously. Alternatively, collapse the cave.
No. 420292 ID: 14a1d0
File 133930503906.png - (134.38KB , 1024x768 , 21.png )

Attacking a weak spot seems like a good idea, but I think having someone who is large and not me grab onto it as a distraction while I do that is even better.

"Hey, Thodren! Want to see something neat?"

"Like what?"

"A giant fucking spider. It's pretty impressive. You might want to see it."

There's a brief pause. I'd really like an answer here. It is coming after me at this point.

"Hmm... No thanks."

No. 420294 ID: 1f8505

It's right in front of you. Return fire!

No. 420295 ID: 7acb8e

You shouldn't have all of this spider to yourself. Bring the fun to him and have a Ménage à trois :D
No. 420297 ID: a3b384

Well he's gonna see it if he likes it or not, lead it out of the cave.
No. 420298 ID: fdad59

OK. Yeah. You're not attacking that thing from the front. Back the fuck up and bring the fun to Thodren. At the very least back up out of flame range.
No. 420300 ID: 132b99

force him to fight it, he can't ignore a giant spider trying to kill him.
No. 420314 ID: d5ee6f

Have Theodren help you see if spiders bounce as well as wizards
No. 420355 ID: a3b384

The only problem I see with that is if it doesn't crumble and instead just climbs back up. Still worth a shot though.
No. 420388 ID: 14a1d0
File 133933737932.png - (124.81KB , 1024x768 , 22.png )

I'm going to lure it out to Thodren. He'd probably like to see it. It's not everyday you get a close up look at a giant, fire-breathing, rock spider.
He doesn't seem to appreciate the opportunity and just yells at me. "Don't bring that thing out here!"
"Calm down. I'm just going to drag it out here, then we can roll it off the cliff.", I explain calmly.
"We?! Why in all the hells are you dragging me into this?"
No. 420389 ID: cb0cc3

"Don't be ridiculous. You're much too large for me to drag anywhere."
No. 420390 ID: c74c7d


Because I like screwing with you
No. 420391 ID: b85f8c

Oh fine. Just start hacking away at that foot while he watches.
No. 420392 ID: c4a1fc

This, and if he persists, >>420390
No. 420396 ID: d5ee6f

Hey, it's his mountain. He's responsible for cleaning it up for unwary travelers!
No. 420398 ID: e3f578

"You think after it's done with me it's just plain done? This thing is huge, its huge and angry, hell, eventually it might even attack your village or whatever your protecting earlier. You kill something this big and angry cause it's a huge fucking threat!"
No. 420425 ID: 14a1d0
File 133935558782.png - (145.70KB , 800x600 , 23.png )

"Fine. Be a big baby about this whole thing, wuss."
I can get in a few shots while it's coming out of the cave. Take that, fucking spider!

I mention to Thodren that he should probably help, since this thing isn't going to stop with just me, but he isn't to sure.

"It's probably attacking you because you disturbed it. It's got to be some kind of guardian, so yes, it probably will stop with just you."

That actually gets me a little more fired up. If it is some horrible guardian spider golem, then I found the ancient treasure thing everyone's after! Adventure and treasure and fighting giant spiders! Woo!
No. 420427 ID: d5ee6f

Draw it out of the cave more and continue hitting the legs on that side.
No. 420428 ID: 132b99

woo, looks like you are actually starting to win, good job!
No. 420435 ID: b85f8c

Nice. Keep taking off bits of it, the fight will just get easier as you do. After it is sufficiently disarmed, go in for the kill.
No. 420436 ID: 9ac7a3

Jump and plunge your blade into it's brain through the eye socket like you are the queen of all badasses!
No. 420441 ID: fdad59

Huh. Guess that giant blunt iron butterknife is good for something after all.

Keep bashing limbs off the stone arachnid until it can't move, then smash its head off at the joint. Check if the eyes are actually valuable gems then. However, if it pulls some bullshit like magically regenerative limbs, retreat and try to knock it off the cliff.
No. 420452 ID: 001168

you've drawn it into a narrow area. Once those front claws are down start trimming manibles, then eyes.
No. 420530 ID: 14a1d0
File 133936785003.png - (92.43KB , 800x600 , 24.png )

Hack and smash! While it's movement is limited, I can get in and stab it in the face. It's almost a shame to have to smash those if they are gems, but I can always get the other seven and that's good enough.
No. 420532 ID: 14a1d0
File 133936795057.png - (175.87KB , 800x600 , 25.png )


Heh... Kind of pretty. I'd probably appreciate it a lot less if I was flammable.
No. 420539 ID: 516a9d

Well, you aren't but what about your clothes?
No. 420540 ID: f387a1

Huh. No one makes good giant spiders like those in Radiant Historia.
No. 420543 ID: fdad59

Yes, check that your clothes, and anything else you're carrying that's even remotely combustible, aren't cinders after that.

Once you've confirmed that it's dead for sure, start breaking its head apart to extract the eyes. Even if they aren't gems, they could still be magical, and worth something to the right person.
No. 420546 ID: 04b86a

Burning is a chemical reaction, her clothes aren't going to just disintegrate because of a little heat. They might have some flames that need put out, though.
No. 420548 ID: 14a1d0
File 133936942805.png - (113.86KB , 800x600 , 26.png )

I'm fine. My clothes are fine too. I try to get clothes made of whatever can stand up to a bit of heat anyway, seeing as how I breath fire and all. Thodren's fine. Everyone's fine.

Oh, the spider is fine too.
No. 420550 ID: d1e9bf

"You are such a diiiiiiiiick" at both Throden and the spider.

Well, it's not going to get through that crevasse, so if you have anything you can hurt it with from a distance, now is the time to use it. If not, then just keep cutting limbs off.
No. 420552 ID: a3b384

Quit laying around, jump up and over it then cut into that neck. Pop the damn head off and get this over with already.
No. 420558 ID: 7ece35

You should try to be less on fire. Also move into the blindspot from that severed leg and holy shit your sword is breaking. That's what happens when you hit rocks with it. Back to the throw it off a cliff plan.
No. 420574 ID: fdad59

To Thodren: "You wouldn't happen to have a really big hammer I could borrow, do ya?"

Alright, get up and on that spider's left (your right.) Keep bashing at its leg until it's broken. Then keep bashing at any other legs that stick out until they're broken. Then keep bashing at its mandibles until those are broken. Then smash it's eyes out. Then smash its head into gravel. Then smash every-fucking-thing else, 'cause this goddamn spider is going to die, and stay that way, dammit!
No. 420577 ID: 132b99

get on it's back and sever it's head from it's body
No. 420604 ID: 001168

Chop that other limb off.
Then: don't break the eyes: pry them out! If they're gemstones they're worth the whole trip!
No. 420642 ID: a3b384

Ok I got it
"Hey Throden, I know you don't care for my well being but some help would get me out of your face sooner. Just saying."

It kinda needs to be dead first, before it'll not complicate that via thrashings and fire.
No. 420658 ID: f387a1

Move away and see if it still chases you.

> A spider is fine too.
Oh you!
No. 420814 ID: 68f2f2

Get up, lazybones, and stab it in the neck while it's squeezing through that hole.

Then explicitly don't share the treasure with Thodren, the jerk.
No. 420876 ID: 379fde

Attack again from the broken leg side and retreat before it has a chance to start the fire breathing once more. Go for limb and body joints.
No. 420879 ID: d5ee6f

I'd just like to point out again THE SWORD HAS A GIGANTIC CRACK IN IT


No. 420881 ID: 1f8505


"Throden, quit being a dick and kill this thing."
No. 420882 ID: b85f8c

Can it even angle its head to breath at you from all angles? Get up above it and drop down on its head.
No. 420886 ID: f387a1

What do you suggest? That thing is huge. Rip and tear?
No. 420956 ID: d5ee6f

Tricking it into the open and forcing theodren to help us shove it off the cliff.
No. 420971 ID: f387a1

The cliff isn't steep enough, however. How about collapsing the cave, now that the spider is stuck?
No. 420974 ID: b85f8c

A) the spider can't go down the cliff as it can't go out the cave.

B) collapsing the cave would prevent Rynh from going into it, which is why we're fighting the spider in the first place.

Just use sword on spider, that was working alright.
No. 421611 ID: 14a1d0
File 133961652662.png - (302.45KB , 1024x768 , 27.png )

The problem with the spider being stuck in the mouth of the cave is solved easily enough when it decides to just smash through and wreck everything.

>smashing rocks with your sword might break the sword

Hm... Maybe. Better be careful, I guess. I just need to hack off a few more legs and throw it off the mountain. Easy, right?

>tell Thodren to help kill this thing
"No way! This is your problem. You deal with it. I'm just making sure it doesn't get out of hand and go on a rampage if you can't stop it."
No. 421612 ID: b85f8c

Good enough.

Hey, aim for the joints you doof! And get behind it. Try stabbing it in the ass. Or hey, maybe UNDER it.
No. 421613 ID: 505b2f

Breath fire at the spider!
No. 421616 ID: a3b384

No need to get tricky over this thing, just keep hacking away at the legs, staying away from the face and making sure you don't fall over the cliff. If it can fall over instead that'd be sweet, but it's not likely until most of it's limbs are messed up.
No. 421617 ID: b33427

Get behind it, stay there, and keep bashing its joints. If your sword breaks... Well, see if Thodren has a weapon you can borrow. Otherwise, run for it.
No. 421623 ID: f2f455

punch in snout to establish dominance. develope domination fetish.
No. 421625 ID: e3f578

"This isn't a rampage? This is ME stopping it? Are you just waiting for me to die first before declaring it a rampage? Come on, aren't you a minotaur? Fighting this thing should be fun for you! You wouldn't even risk getting hurt, you're more rock hard than IT is!"
No. 421627 ID: 132b99

run towards him and dive between his legs.
No. 421641 ID: f387a1

This spider is either absurdly stupid or extremely hungry! You're not constricted or paralyzed and can keep up a good fight. Wait. If this thing can just smash through the rocks, why it didn't come out before? I mean, there's a juicy and beefy minotaur right here! Who woke this thing!?
No. 421654 ID: 14a1d0
File 133963010602.png - (249.83KB , 1024x768 , 28.png )

"What about the other way around? What if I beat it and go off on a rampage? Why don't you just help me ditch it off the cliff and nobody has to deal with any rampaging?"

"Hrg... You're a fucking nuisance! FINE! Now get off of me!"

"So eager. You weren't secretly getting pissed off that you were missing out on the smashy-smashy, hmm?"

He seems to be getting a little agitated. "Shut up and start fighting before this thing kills us both!"

People skills are important when you want to be an awesome adventurer like me. Now I get to deal with the damn spider, with a little help.
No. 421657 ID: 132b99

okay split up and attack from both sides.
No. 421659 ID: f387a1

No. 421689 ID: b33427

Excellent! Now you've got a quarter-ton of beefcake on your side. Now the both of you can proceed to fuck up all the legs on this spider. Since Thodren only has his fists, he should grapple a leg and hold it down while you bash the joint to pieces. Once all the little gripper bits are gone from the ends of the legs, then shove it over the cliff. It won't be climbing back up any time soon.
No. 421707 ID: 431fa8

This is pretty much a classic "destined to be best friends forever" picture, right there.
No. 421713 ID: f387a1

Oh, yeah. The spider. Almost forgot about it.

I don't think it's safe for Theodren to hold the spider. It may be poisonous. He can act as distraction while you hit the weak point of this thing.
No. 421735 ID: bccf7b

He has been assuaged by your hawtness. It is truth.
No. 421898 ID: c74c7d


After this fight get ready for some hot dickings since all that screaming, yelling and complaining usually leads to that
No. 422027 ID: 68f2f2

but this is a flashback or something. That would cause a PIME TERADOX, and those are bad.
No. 422075 ID: 1f8505


No, this is a reboot.
No. 422605 ID: 14a1d0
File 133979530883.png - (117.33KB , 1024x768 , 29.png )

Working together, the two of us easily smash the stupid spider and shove it off the cliff.
No. 422608 ID: 14a1d0
File 133979543693.png - (106.90KB , 800x600 , 30.png )

"I'll make those stupid beasts pay for this! When I finally kill them, Hell will be a relief from the pain I'll infl- Eh?"
No. 422609 ID: 14a1d0
File 133979546502.png - (121.83KB , 800x600 , 31.png )

Now we don't have to worry about it hurting anybody.
No. 422610 ID: 1f8505

No. 422612 ID: e3f578

The next time we throw something down this cliff it will be both of them teamed up climbing and then all three will fall down.
No. 422614 ID: b85f8c

Time for hi-5s. Ask if he wants to come with you to see what the thing was guarding, or just stay at its post.
No. 422625 ID: f5b22e

You've got him hooked, now reel him in!
"I'll be there's even more fun inside. Come with me!"

Consider replacing sword with some kind of pick, hammer, or mace. That sword's going to start looking like a saw if it chips any more. You need something more durable. Plus, better for smashing open treasure chests and doors!
No. 423428 ID: 14a1d0
File 133993960167.png - (110.10KB , 800x600 , 32.png )

Aw, man... This is it? All that for a bit of shiny rock? I need to plan these things better. No gold, no ancient artifacts of limitless power. Just this glowy blue rock.
Maybe I can pawn it off in town?
No. 423429 ID: 132b99

well it isn't guarded for no reason. be careful you don't get murdered by touching it.
No. 423430 ID: c74c7d


No. 423432 ID: 8a3061

you don't even know what it is yet
No. 423433 ID: fa9f7e

No. 423438 ID: 9718f3

Ancient artifacts of limitless power can be glowy blue rocks too, you know. Plus, it's glowy, which is almost as good as shiny. And shinies are great.

Probably ought to take it and get a mage or something to check it out for you.
No. 423485 ID: 14a1d0
File 133994902221.png - (272.19KB , 1024x768 , 33.png )

>be careful you don't get murdered by touching it.
Yeah, yeah. I'm sure it's fine. I gotta get something out of this whole ordeal.
Thodren doesn't seem happy either, but maybe it's more valuable than it looks.

"You almost got me killed for that?"
I just shrug it off, "That's just the way she goes sometimes. Anyway, I should be the one who's upset here. I had to climb all the way up here."

>Get a mage or something to identify it
Damn, I don't think we have any mages at home. I might have to go to a bigger city for that. Maybe I can use it as a lamp or something in the meanwhile.

>screw with Thodren on the altar
What kind of innocent, young girl jumps some guy she just met on some dusty old altar in a dirty old cave? Not me.

Alright, unless there's something really important I should do first, I'm probably gonna head home.
No. 423486 ID: bccf7b


Let's bring Meatwall -- I mean, Theodren with us. Who knows; we might make a good team. And worst case scenario, I'm sure he'll be useful for scaring stuff ... or at least hanging laundry on.
No. 423487 ID: 61e7f9

You need to have sex with this man. He is a MAN. You like MEN don't you? Big strong MANLY MEN.
No. 423489 ID: fa9f7e

Heh, figures. Knew you'd never be able to attract him anyways, what with your flat chest and all.
No. 423490 ID: e3f578

Maybe actually apologize for getting Thodren in a potentially lethal situation. Then take it back because he's fucking awesome and can't be hurt. His muscles are more rock than that thing is. You know this because you could actually cut off that spider's leg. IF a sword going at full force can't lodge itself in Thodren's flesh, that implies that motherfucker is immune to most damage.

You don't have to screw him, but maybe if he complains too much about that fight he did you'll have him sit down while you check if it harmed him anyway. Then it's an excuse to fondle a muscle or two to make sure their okay. You were laughing and chuckling a bit further. You know you want to fondle some of them rippling, toned muscles. Man, shiiiiiit, they got a fucking sheen.

Chuck a rock at this thing, then be prepared for a cave-in. It's probably a magical conduit of some sort mage's would be after, or an essential part of a doomsday machine. If we go to a mad medieval scientist convention, we could sell it at a good mark-up. Or in an auction.
No. 423503 ID: e3aff6

Search the back of the altar for secret panels.
No. 423509 ID: f5b22e

Is that thing floating above her head?

Anyway, you didn't do it the adventurer way!
You must ransack that fucking cave. Tip over/break open that altar!
See where that damned spider was hiding, maybe it kept stuff!
Scour the walls for secret doors!
No. 423516 ID: b33427

Yanno, Mr. Evil Mage who you punted off the cliff was probably up here to get this glowing shard of whatever. Perhaps he was carrying something related to it, like notes. On the way down loot his broken body. At the least you'll get whatever coins were in his pockets.
No. 423517 ID: 927efa

Brush the dust off the altar. Then screw Thodren on it.
No. 423518 ID: 132b99

oh yes, loot his magic corpse.
No. 423582 ID: c74c7d


Take the bull with you. He might prove a worthy ally and a good lay
No. 425036 ID: f5b22e

That rock is magic.
Try to make a wish.
No. 425044 ID: b85f8c

Nah. Let's go. Say bye to Thodren, tell him to have fun standing around guarding a cave.
No. 425047 ID: 42c1c6

It'd be stupid not to bring someone along that's that big, muscular, and willing to do as he's told with only a minimal of browbeating.

You should maybe casually point out how boring it's going to be here now that everything except him is dead and suggest it might be less boring if he followed you.
No. 425558 ID: 14a1d0
File 134055227816.png - (134.12KB , 768x666 , 34.png )

"Alright. I'm gonna head home, then see if I can get anymore leads on some real treasure or something. C'mon, let's get going."

He just snorts and plants his little hoofy feet. "You come up here, attack me, make me help you fight some giant monster you provoked and now you expect me to follow you without question like some dumb puppy?"

"Yeah. Let's go. I'm pretty sure all the good adventurers wander around fighting monsters in groups of at least three. So I need to bolster the numbers and you seem like you can handle yourself."

"Are you nuts?"

"Not too much. But you'd have to be crazy not to be a little crazy doing this crap and you jumped right in there. Come ooooon..."

He'll crack. My argument is so perfect, he can't possibly say no.

No. 425559 ID: c74c7d


Collar and leash him then pull him with you
No. 425561 ID: f72f26

engage montage of pestering until he gives in
No. 425589 ID: e3f578

"Aww, going back to your boring guard job? You can't even get yourself into a decent scrap without me around. Face it, you had fun here. Probably for the first time in a while. There's more fun and tough fights for adventurers and mercenaries than just guarding your damn clan out on the edge of nowhere. What, do the lady minotaurs give you a little nookie for your trouble, or are your male friends all plowing them while you sit out here like a chump? You may even be the strongest of your clan and that's why you got this job, but that potential's going to waste!"
No. 425605 ID: 1f8505


Tug on his tail and say "c'mooooooooooon" a lot.
No. 425607 ID: a3b384

The money, you forgot to advertise the MONEY. And the fame and glory and babes. Come on make it sound awesome, maybe even throw some truth in there.
No. 425610 ID: bccf7b

"Is this how you get all the ladies?"
No. 425611 ID: b85f8c

Say that he could get a lot of money.
No. 425772 ID: 7f8068

Give him the puppydog eyes. Kobolds do great puppydog eyes.
No. 425776 ID: 14a1d0
File 134059714543.png - (195.41KB , 1024x768 , 35.png )

"C'moooooooooooooon... You wanna sit up here on a mountain being boring the rest of your life or do you want to go fight giant, awful monsters that breathe fire on a regular basis?"


I assume a position better suited to negotiating and refuse to give up.
"Come on. Minotaurs are supposed to be all wild and chaotic, doing anything they want, whenever they want to whoever they want!"

He shifts, tenses, snorts, but doesn't throw me off just yet. "Where are you getting this crap about minotaurs anyway?"
"I read it somewhere.", I reply. "Am I wrong? Did you not like getting down to it and punching the shit out of things?"

"Ngh... Maybe.", he grunts. I can feel his shoulders tensing. It might be that he's wracked with indecision or it might be that I'm stabbing him in the back with my claws.
No. 425777 ID: 1f8505


"You're not gonna find any hot minotaur chicks up in this mountain, are ya?"
No. 425782 ID: e3f578

"Do people respect you? Everyone who manages to probably is someone you killed, and the people who run away just fear you? They won't sing songs about you up here. 'Thodren The Guy on Top of the Mountain who just Punched People Off' ain't much of a song. What do even you have that's worth staying up here anyway?"
No. 425798 ID: a3b384

Wealth, danger, adventure, hot babes.
No. 425824 ID: d5ee6f

He's probably going to toss you off his shoulders, so get down before he can do that.
No. 425845 ID: 14a1d0
File 134062813743.png - (197.19KB , 1024x768 , 36.png )

"You're not gonna find any hot minotaur chicks up in this mountain, are ya?"

"Of course I will! This is where we live. Are you stupid or something?"

Oh right... He did mention his clan during the whole 'get out or I kill you' speech.

"Well, I mean exotic, foreign minotaur ladies or whatever it is you like. Er... You know? Who can say what can happen when you go off into the wild unknown?"

"Are you coming onto me?"

"No! I'm just sayin'. You could just impress the ladies here at home with all your treasure and stories of your super exciting battles in distant lands."

I go to jump off his back, "So, I'll be heading home on the highway heading to the south-west, if you decide to catch up..."

If that's all, I'm going to head out for home and hope he comes with me. I might be getting into dangerous levels of badgering at this point.
No. 426181 ID: e8be8d

Well tell him it's been kind of fun and that he should stop trying to be such a stubborn, hostile bull. He'd be awesome if he was a bit more adventurous.

Time to head back to civilization to get your loot sold or put to use. Speaking of loot check on the spider and see if it properly broken. Didn't it have gemstone eyes?
No. 426184 ID: 132b99

oh yes, after getting down there be sure it pop it's eye's out.
No. 427424 ID: 6ac522

Welp, you've done all the persuading that's appropriate. Lean over his head and give him upside-down nose rubs for helping you get the treasure, then tumble down and prance away.

It'd probably cost a fortune to feed someone that big anyway.
Plus he's probably married. With like, twenty kids. Why else would he be so grumpy, want to be alone, but also not leave the tribe?
No. 427602 ID: dcd48d

This, I like the nose rub idea.
No. 427608 ID: d5ee6f

Does he know you're a girl? Flash him and leave. That's coy, right?
No. 433228 ID: 14a1d0
File 134240209325.png - (186.92KB , 862x667 , 37.png )

I've been traveling a while and no eager minotaur meatshield following at my heels. I'm kinda disappointed, I guess. Every adventuring party in stories has a huge strong guy and now I don't have anyone to fill my stereotypes.
Oh well, I got some sparkly thing for my trouble, at least. I'll just camp out for the night and make for home in the morning.
No. 433234 ID: 132b99

go to sleep while holding it, maybe it will tell you secrets in your dreams.
No. 433319 ID: e7baef

Bury the thing and sleep on top of the hole. Its the only shiny thing you've found and I'll be damned if something snitches your bag in the night and you lose it.
No. 433344 ID: b33427

That little shiny is small enough that you could... insert it... into yourself... to hide it. We both know you won't do that, so do what >>433319 suggested and sleep on it.
No. 433388 ID: c6ec33

I was beginning to think that I was a terrible person when I came up with the same idea.

And then you posted it first.

I still feel terrible, but now *less so*.

Anyways, yeah, stick it in a hole and go to sleep. Wake up tied up and weaponless. :D
No. 433405 ID: 2dd991

Yes, jam it in.
No. 433447 ID: 9718f3

I, too, came up with that idea. It isn't all that unusual a thing to do. Pretty common really. Only a rapist is going to check there, and if you're in the position that a rapist is inspecting you at their leisure, well, you've got worse things to worry about than losing a gem. Most secure place to store valuables, really.

Anyway, getting robbed in your sleep would totally suck, especially if you lost that gem after all the work you put into getting it. Hide it and go to sleep.
No. 433459 ID: e7baef


This is a terrible idea its a magic thing and its been sitting in a cave for years and years with a giant spider monster thing.
If it was meant to go 'inside' then that means it was probably inside someone once already.

Do the dragony thing Rynh and sleep on top of it. Like, buried, or under your as yet unseen bedroll or something.

By the way, are those woods known for anything unusual? We know you're braver and stronger than most but we don't want to be too surprised if like, goblins or wolves or goblins riding wolves or wolves riding goblins show up.
No. 433474 ID: 58396a


Shit. We've already broken the HOLY TRINITY of ADVENTURING.

We need his big meaty bigness. Otherwise we'll be screwed even more if we don't find one of those twiggish, spell-casting beard-faces.
No. 433478 ID: 9718f3

The idea isn't to put it inside her because it is designed for such a thing. It obviously isn't. And if I thought it might be, I wouldn't be suggesting putting it in her without getting it identified first. I am confident that its function has nothing to do with going in vaginas. It is simply a secure place to store small, chemically inert valuables. Like gemstones.
No. 433485 ID: 2dd991

For a moment I thought you guys were joking. Anyway, anuses are far superior.
No. 433491 ID: a73dec

Because random chunks of glowing stone only ever have beneficial effects, right?
No. 433845 ID: 58396a

Well, we've touched it a bunch already... what else could it possibly do if Rynh jammed it into an orifice?
No. 433846 ID: 58396a

Well, we've touched it a bunch already... what else could it possibly do if Rynh jammed it into an orifice?
No. 433895 ID: 14a1d0
File 134256137096.png - (258.52KB , 1024x768 , 38.png )

"They don't even look anything like that."

No. 433901 ID: bf8c23

You have a terrible taste in pornography, Rynh.
No. 433902 ID: c74c7d


Yeah. Needs more bondage.
No. 433903 ID: 0c2247

"Prove it~"
No. 433910 ID: 735f4f

Or great taste.
No. 433922 ID: 61e7f9

No. 433961 ID: bf8c23

Anyway, why the hell is he here and why the hell she has interracial minotaur rape porn?
No. 433981 ID: afbfba

Not sure if gag panel.
No. 434102 ID: 14a1d0
File 134258631949.png - (167.84KB , 800x600 , 39.png )

"Gah! Thodren? What the hell are you doing here?!"

"You badgered the hell out of me to come with you, now you want to know why I'm here? Maybe I want to know what's up with tha-"

"IT SEEMED LIKE A NORMAL BOOK WHEN I GOT IT! I was a little suspicious after the first few horse penises... SHUT UP! I'm not the one on trial here!"

"Wait, what trial?"
"There is no trial. There is no book! Drop it! I only kept reading it out of morbid curiosity! Don't get any ideas, mister!"

Now that Thodren has made up his mind, I can have him throw boulders at monsters and stuff. It'll be awesome. I guess there's not much else to do but head home in the morning. Maybe I can figure out what this rock is for.
No. 434103 ID: 61e7f9

Hug him or something to show affection.
No. 434109 ID: bbee3d

Go back to riding on his head. Now you don't have to walk anymore!
No. 434116 ID: 0c2247

Ask him to show you what they got wrong about minotaur dicks.
No. 434168 ID: c74c7d


Just... hug him already and say how good that he made up his mind.
No. 434184 ID: 6a13b9

Rynh, from here on in be sweet and supportive of all those around you. Build up a team in a positive fashion, encouraging their progress and strengths. Become an awesome, admired leader.

Thus fracturing your timeline so we can eventually see Good Rynh Vs. Tsundere Rynh.
No. 434191 ID: afbfba

There's another good reason for having him along.
Now you don't need to sleep on the ground.
No. 434219 ID: b18143

Well there's no need to be defensive. You're a young girl, bound to be curious and with precious little literature at hand.

Just play it cool. Ask why he redecided. Was there anything special that made him change his mind? Maybe his mom told him to get off the mountain and try a change of scenery or something...

Has Thodren ever been outside his clan territory much? Did he bring anything with him? What is he actually expecting to happen? You've made camp so you might as well share a meal and talk a bit. Friends are best made over food.

Also he does owe you an explanation about minotaur penises now. If you get bored you can sit down with the book together and point out inconsistencies. That'll be a nice icebreaker.
No. 434250 ID: ab63b5

Goddess. I knew you had some unresolved sexual tension, but to resort to rape smut?

> Maybe I can figure out what this rock is for.
With your acuteness and prowess in magic, I suppose. Try making a stupid wish.

> That'll be a nice icebreaker.
That'll take two weeks or more.
No. 434294 ID: 6a1ec2

How did you even get that book?

I mean, what book? I don't see any book!
No. 435240 ID: 14a1d0
File 134298292596.png - (301.86KB , 1024x768 , 40.png )

After a good nights rest where nothing inappropriate happens and nobody questions anyone's taste in literature that they didn't know was that kind of book until it was too late because nobody labels the damn things, we head to my hometown to restock supplies and maybe get some information.
But first, I'm going to check in at home.

"Hi daddy, I'm home!"

"Hey Rynnie, everything go alright?"

"Yeah. I fought a minotaur, then I triggered an ancient fire-breathing spider golem and found a glowing magic gem of some kind in an old shrine hidden in a cave."

"Sounds like it went well. Might be valuable too."

"Maybe, some weird guy in a robe followed me up there. Probably a wizard or something. He seemed to want it."

"He didn't give you any trouble, did he?"

"Nah. I punched up off a cliff."

"That's my girl."

"So, you ya wanna meet my new minotaur friend I badgered into going on crazy adventures?"

"In bit, I need to work on this pile of junk. People buy these fancy Gnomish imports and think they're so great. Sure, they work fine at first, then the magic all wears off and the hamsters die and the whole thing turns into a maintenance nightmare. Good for business, I suppose."

I'll just let him work at that for a bit and go do something else in town for now.
No. 435241 ID: fa9f7e

How suspiciously specific. Anyways, your dad is cool. How'd he get that scar?
No. 435243 ID: e3f578

Hug him unexpectedly from behind, make him struggle to get out of the hug! OR, at least when he can't drop that very important looking thing.
No. 435244 ID: a9298b

might as well see if you can find someone to appraise your gem.
No. 435245 ID: e3f578

and ask him what happened in that other universe where he left you up for adoption instead of actually taking care of you.
Did he get sucked into this universe and kill his universe double?
No. 435246 ID: fa9f7e

That looks like a water bottle for a hamster
No. 435247 ID: a3b384

...Why is there a car? Or more importantly, why don't you have one?
No. 435288 ID: b33427

Visit the blacksmith to get that overblown butter knife you call a sword sharpened. Seriously, it has to be as dull as dishwater by now. Then find whoever around here can do appraisals of magical artifacts and get that gem checked out.

Dang. Who in this two-bit town has the money to buy a fancy imported Gnomish automobile, and is short enough to actually fit in it?
No. 435289 ID: bf54a8

also if you can get that sword magiced up so it can cut rocks. will work just as well on bones.
No. 435292 ID: 8a3061

go to tavern or town hall or castle or wherever has a notice board. Check notice board for missions
No. 435293 ID: 735f4f

Hmm if your dad is here you should go inside and say hi to mom. Am sure she would love to meet your new friend.
No. 435301 ID: 6a1ec2


It's not a car. It's the pistonomatic autokatonic rollermoveratron 9000!
No. 435317 ID: 58396a


You have BESTDAD
No. 435393 ID: 8a3061


unfortunately mother is a gigantic red dragon with a bad attitude. If she was around there wouldn't be a town left.
No. 435415 ID: b33427

After tromping about the mountains for several days, fighting a stone spider golem, and tromping back, you're not exactly "daisy fresh" right now. Better set aside an hour or so for a bath, and get a clean change of clothes before dinner.

Also see about getting Thodren a bath, and his clothes laundered, so you don't have to endure that pungent bull-man funk for a few days.
No. 435433 ID: 58396a


Pffft... we should steal his clothes while he does, too! To get him back for the scaring us while reading.

It's not like we want to see that, or anything.
No. 435436 ID: b26bd8

gnomes can make literally anything, at any tech level. the problem is, one day it gets a bit hot, and the glue melts so the feathers fall of, or one of the whistles stops working, and then EVERYTHING GOES WRONG. the bells and whistles often aren't even ATTACHED to anything, but if they come off, run for cover.
No. 435505 ID: b33427

Which means Rynh's dad must be quite skilled if he can fix a Gnomish machine well enough that he can make a business of it.
No. 435519 ID: 58396a


It just needs some blinker fluid. You know those gnomes: always using completely ridiculous things to do stuff.

The blinker fluid doesn't even do anything except make a clicking noise, but if you don't have any, the damned things won't work at all.
No. 435744 ID: 14a1d0
File 134315091129.png - (204.14KB , 1024x768 , 41.png )

>Bath Time
Alright, I could use a scrub down after all that, but Thodren is not going to fit in this tub or in this room, maybe. Minotaurs are a little larger than most races that live in towns, with houses. He can go splash around in the river, I guess.

>Who in this two-bit town has the money to buy a fancy imported Gnomish automobile, and is short enough to actually fit in it?
Just some old rich guy that likes to show off how rich he is by buying stupid crap to show off to everyone else. So you have one of those automocar things. Big deal, I can jog faster than that thing.

Anyway, I should get the sword sharpened and see if anyone knows about magic gems. That would get things rolling.
No. 435769 ID: 58396a


I vote we watch him splash around in the river. From a good hiding spot.

It's a test to see if he'll make a good adventurer.
No. 435774 ID: bf54a8

ye. got your priorities straight. go get that shit checked.
No. 435993 ID: 5a8a13

Gosh, looks like even you have some trouble fitting into that tub, at your height. Are most of the locals Kobolds or other tiny folk?

As for the sword.. you might be better off just trading it in for something that can actually deliver on the force you put into your swings. You were shattering stone back there. Do you know how to use any other weapons?
No. 436047 ID: b33427

When you do go to get that gem identified or appraised, make sure Thodren is with you. Nothing says "don't fuck with me," like a minotaur backing you up, and that should be enough reason to not screw you over or try to steal the gem.

As long as you're heading to the blacksmith, or wherever it is you'll get your sword sharpened, ask your dad if he has anything to be delivered there, or to be picked up, before you take off.

Rynh actually might not have to trade in her sword. It's a single-edged sword, so she could use the blunt side to deliver crushing hits, and save the sharp side for when crushing doesn't work. And as long as we're on the topic of weapons, did Thodren bring any other than his huge fists? Round him up and see about getting him a big weapon that delivers massive quantities of blunt force trauma.
No. 436097 ID: 68f2f2

"Round him up and see about getting him a big weapon that delivers massive quantities of blunt force trauma."

He's already got one of those, but should see about getting him an axe or something. minotaurs love axes.
No. 438389 ID: 14a1d0
File 134393501031.png - (144.41KB , 684x451 , 42.png )

I take the stone around town and ask if anyone knows what it is or more importantly, what it's worth.
The general consensus is that is a gem of some sort and that it glows. Some people think it's probably magic.
I know that farms don't generally attract a lot of wizards, but I'm probably the most magical thing in this town. I might not get a lot of answers here. It's mostly human farmers with a few kobolds, dwarves and a handful of gnomes working the tool and mechanical trades. Not a very mystical bunch at all.
No. 438391 ID: bf54a8

looks like the first thing you are gonna have to do is leave again for a bigger town with more wizards in it.
No. 438392 ID: 61e7f9

Eh, forget it. This town is too small to be any good.

Everyone knows you've got loot by now so if you travel you may be followed and attacked. I recommend traveling with Thodren if you go anywhere.
No. 438460 ID: 5a5118

This is sufficient reason to head out of town again. Use a mixture of a map and word of mouth to learn where a young lady like you can talk to a friendly wizard.
No. 438474 ID: 1f8505


Locate a town with an actual appraiser and go there.
No. 438479 ID: b33427

Alright, so what larger towns and cities are around here might have institutions for the study of the arcane arts? Alternatively, are there ones that possibly deal in the trade of antiquities and other junk adventurers haul in. Cities on major trade routes are a good bet for where you want to go.

Hey, isn't your dad an ex-adventurer? He's got the scars of one, plus, well... you. That has to indicate an adventurous past of one kind or another. Could you ask him for his old contacts for when he needed to sell magical loot?

Go round up Thodren before he accidentally knocks over a gnome's house or something and meet up with your dad to plan the route to your next destination. Offer Thodren a place to sleep in the garage, since it's likely the only space the inn has that'd fit him is a stable stall. Oh, and pick up extra food, 'cause huge meatshields tend to eat loads.
No. 438608 ID: 6a13b9

Go back to the mountain. Loot smooshed wizard corpse for info.
No. 439210 ID: 14a1d0
File 134409547012.png - (154.84KB , 856x768 , 43.png )

Hmm. I wonder what town in the area would be best for this kind of thing. Belja is probably the biggest trading city in the area and it's pretty close. Styrewood is full of elves. Elves are magical or something, right? And Havenport is down south and is a port. Ports have lots of different people coming and going all the time, so who knows?
One of them probably has a glowy rock expert somewhere.
No. 439213 ID: 2a7713

Do you not feel the pull of the sea? Do you not yearn to smell the salty ocean breeze and feel its cruel winds in your hair? Havenport is the only choice! Adventure awaits!
No. 439216 ID: b33427

Think back to that guy who told you about the cave where you found that glowing gem. Which way did he come from, and which way did he go? 'Cause those who want the gem are probably where he came from, and will be pursuing him where he goes, so you don't want to be around either place.

Styrewood would be the first choice. Elves are generally known for making glowy magical hippy crystal crap like that gem. They would at least be able to direct you to someone who'd know more about it. Belja is the second choice, simply 'cause it's near and likely has at least one trader who deals in this kind of junk. Havenport's third, mostly 'cause it has the same traits as Belja, but is farther away.

Oh, and something with sharp pointy teeth is about to bite the tip of your tail. Looks like it might have a kobold snout. Possibly a 'bold kid? Swing your tail away, and shove it away with your foot.
No. 439221 ID: bf54a8

tail flick

and yeah, elves may know more about crystals, but be ready to run if they start ranting about destroyers and shit.
No. 439230 ID: b85f8c

Your tail's about to get bit.

Ask Thodren for his input, since he's coming along.
No. 439231 ID: d6c330

Hippie elf magic. Hippies are all into crystal magic and shit.
No. 439360 ID: 61e7f9

Tail is about to get bit, yank it away. See what was trying to bite your tail.
No. 439386 ID: 9718f3

My vote is for Belja. It should be easier to find someone willing to work with us, and even if we don't find any leads we should be able to find plenty of adventure/trouble.

The elves, on the other hand, might not want to have anything to do with us, and probably only have shitty adventures.
No. 439456 ID: 14a1d0
File 134416261405.png - (118.20KB , 795x633 , 44.png )

Belja is northwest of here and Styrewood is down south, so it's not like I can visit one, then the other without a lot of backtracking. Big city or elves?

>'bold kid trying to bite your tail
"Screw off, Jehral! I'm tryin' to think here!"
No. 439457 ID: 997ce7

D'aaaw, he's so cute. I'm assuming he's not your lover in this timeline.

Anyways, elves, I guess.
No. 439458 ID: b85f8c

Okay, who is that?

Personally I'm more interested in the elf city.
No. 439459 ID: 997ce7

Oh, and what with the whole nose-rub thing, I think you just introduced him to BDSM. Way to go.
No. 439497 ID: bf54a8

isn't he part elf or something? bring him as a mediator if you see elves.
No. 439520 ID: 465a3a

Big City.
If the pest persists, shove him in a sack and leave him on his family's doorstep.
No. 439531 ID: 14a1d0
File 134417456836.png - (127.11KB , 655x515 , 45.png )

I guess the elves would have a higher concentration of sissy wizards, since they're all magical and... "OW! You little bastard! Biting?! I'm gonna swing you around by the tail until you barf, again!"

"Mmph mm mmmf mm mmf!"

"What are they doing, mommy?" "Don't look at them."
No. 439532 ID: 6a8f04

strangle tiny boldthing
No. 439534 ID: b85f8c

Please explain who this is.
No. 439541 ID: 67ad2c

Go for the elven place. I'm guessing they are more discrete. Big city means trouble. If nothing else they'll be able to give you a solid hint of where to go next. Also the more homogeneous population means that there might be better jobs and opportunities for someone with a unique skillset like yours and Thodrens.
No. 439555 ID: b33427

Okay, for that, Jehral gets dunked headfirst into the nearest horse trough or rain barrel. Who is this little shit that thinks he can bite you can get away with it?

Head to Styrewood; The elves will know more about magical crap like that gem. Hell, they might even have made it in the first place and still have the instruction manual.
No. 439562 ID: 61e7f9

Headlock and noogie
No. 439563 ID: f793db

Use your cooties to scare him off.
No. 439568 ID: 465a3a

Not sure if sign of affection.
No. 439581 ID: 997ce7

Grab his crotch, squeeze, and twist hard.
No. 439737 ID: 6a13b9

Field goal time.
No. 439825 ID: 14a1d0
File 134429172417.png - (195.94KB , 1024x768 , 46.png )

you are now Jehral.

Pfft, pfft... I think my mouth is completely full of dirt. This is the worst thing ever.
No. 439826 ID: c74c7d


No. 439830 ID: 160ec1

Molest her. For, you know, payback.
No. 439832 ID: 48f315

Did she grasp you firmly by the genitals and swing you around and around like I suggested?

If not, pretty sure this isn't the worst possible thing.

If she did, then ahahahahahahaha oh wow.

Anyways, tell us about yourself, your crush on Rynh, and your history, both individually and together,
No. 439834 ID: e3f578

Oh no what happened to your adorable bowl cut!
And who cursed you into a full kobold we will crush them
No. 439850 ID: b33427

Considering that this is a roadway in a town where the primary mode of non-foot transport is horses, well... That ain't just dirt, boy-o. Spit out as much as you can, then run to the nearest water spigot or hand pump, and wash your mouth out over and over and over and over, until it no longer feels dirty. You may be awhile.

That done, care to fill us in on who you are, your history and relationship with Rhyn, and why in the ever lovin' fuck you thought that biting her was a good idea? Seriously, she's way stronger and tougher than you, and she's spun you 'round by your tail until you vomited before. How could you think it would end any other way than something like you eating dirt?
No. 439861 ID: 9718f3

Hahaha, she's fallen into your trap perfectly. Use tail whip.
No. 439867 ID: a9298b

yes, round and soft and so inviting.
No. 439896 ID: b85f8c

No. 439898 ID: bf54a8

well then why did you fight someone bigger then you?
No. 439910 ID: 465a3a

Seriously.. what did you think that would accomplish?
No. 439915 ID: bf3f27

What Rynh's tail taste like?
No. 440038 ID: 58396a


The only matter of recourse is to seductively wiggle your posterior in a veiled attempt to get the girl of your dreams to become hopelessly infatuated with you~!

That is what you're going for, right?

Puppy Head Mk II, eh? I can dig. He's almost cuter this way.
No. 440057 ID: 14a1d0
File 134431875894.png - (144.97KB , 657x754 , 47.png )

Bleh... I know she's bigger than me, but I've beaten her before. I mean, when she was three years old I was bigger than her for almost a year. It all went downhill from there ever since, but maybe someday.

"Ooh yeah! I win again, chump! Jehral: zero, Rynh: like a bajillion. That was fun and all, but I gotta go find some elves to tell me if I'm rich or not."

"Gah... Leaving again already? You just got back."

"Yeah, but it's not even anything exciting. I just have to to to Styrewood to get some information about a magic rock, then I can sell it."

>What Rynh's tail taste like?
Hair, mostly.
No. 440060 ID: 6a1ec2

What did you think of her tail smacking against your nose?
No. 440066 ID: 2d7b2e

Offer to go with her.

Then furiously backpedal in a completely transparent way about how it's boring around here anyway and she's liable to get herself killed and it's not like you want to spend time with her or worry or anything shut up.
No. 440071 ID: 72d49b

You should go with her, Jehral. You're quick, right? Even if she's better at wrestling, the right knife in the wrong place can end someone just fine. And a tricksy fellow like you would no doubt be useful in other ways too.
No. 440076 ID: b85f8c


No. 440080 ID: bf54a8

..... can't tell if troll or dumbass.
No. 440081 ID: b85f8c

It's a fucking reboot. There are differences, and I would like to KNOW the differences dammit.
No. 440084 ID: a9298b

You should probably go with her. You do WANT to go with her, right? If you do, >>440066 would probably be the best course of action to take.
No. 440088 ID: b33427

So how are you related to Rhyn? Half-brother? Cousin? Friend? Schoolmate? Annoying neighbor kid? Well, what is it? And how long has it been since you bested Rhyn, anyway?

Jehral, you're never going to best Rhyn in direct combat, and she's only going to keep getting bigger than you, so forget it. Instead, have you thought of doing other things to get back at her? Pranks, perhaps?

Anyway, you're going with her. You can't prank her if she's not around, and maybe you can convince that minotaur that came back with her to get in on them.
No. 440129 ID: 9718f3

Yes, Jehral and Thodren will be super best bros. He's even bigger than Rynh. Recruit him to your side, and she'll be the one who loses.
No. 440652 ID: 7efd66

No. 441057 ID: 58396a


You had best plan on following her. That is so not optional at this point.
No. 441458 ID: 14a1d0
File 134463847015.png - (132.56KB , 656x716 , 48.png )

Rynh's and her dad are the only other kobolds in town, except my family. My parents and two boys, four girls. At least they stopped at six. Living in town doesn't have the mortality rate of living in a cave, warring with dwarves.

It should be okay to go with her. She wanders off on her own all the time and seems to be fine most of the time. What could happen visiting some wimpy elves anyway?

"I guess I should go with you then, so you don't get killed by elves."

"I don't think elves just kill people at random in the streets."

"They might. Elves don't like kobolds."

"Jehral, you are twice as kobold as me. That means we'd have... uh, three times as much kobold with us if you went. IF you did come with me, you wouldn't die immediately or anything, would you? You're like fifty pounds soaking wet."

"Pfft... You worry too much. Kobolds are the most resilient race in the world!"

"Yeah, but that's just because there's so many to take the places of the ones that are constantly dying."

"You worry too much. What would you do without someone small and sneaky to go all the places your big ass can't fit."

"Yeah, I gue- HEY!"
No. 441489 ID: b33427

Admit it, you've been checking out Rhyn's ass since she hit puberty, haven't you? Have you tried to approach Rhyn in a romantic fashion before, or have you never had the nerve?

Well, anyway, go tell your family that you're going on a trip to Styrewood with Rhyn, and gear up for the trip. Then head to Rhyn's house and see if you mooch dinner off them, since you're going to be Rhyn's traveling companion.
No. 441491 ID: bf54a8

"ha, still beat you when it comes to wit."
No. 441492 ID: bf54a8

also kobolds are expert trap makers, it's in the blood, you can probably spot a shitty elven trap easy.
No. 441496 ID: 58396a


Someone needs to fill the MOE role!
No. 441541 ID: ef4faa

How could he not? Its at eye level for him.
No. 441641 ID: 14a1d0
File 134465942506.png - (161.46KB , 656x716 , 49.png )

>Have you tried to approach Rynh in a romantic fashion before
I played with Rynh since I was old enough not to fit in her mouth. Never give two year olds anything to play with that they might swallow, especially babies. Just... Don't.
Anyway, we've violently gnawed on each other for years, but I don't think either of us have seriously considered going anything else and I don't know if you noticed, but Rynh is kind of a biiiiaaaAAAAGH!

"GAAAH! What the hell was that for?!"

"I don't know. You're just standing there all twitchy and nervous looking, so I figured you were thinking too hard about something that might deserve that."

"How did you kno- I wasn't."

"Yeah, right. You're thinking that you can get the only kobold girl in town out in the woods to get frisky. Just you and me. Alone... with the minotaur."

"Minotaur? What minotaur?"

"I found a minotaur in the mountains and I guess he thought going on adventures would be fun or something, so he's back at my place."

Now there's a minotaur. At least I won't have to take the brunt of anything coming our way. Okay, time for wandering off into the unknown.
Although dinner does sound good.
No. 441643 ID: 0c2247

Make your dinner a fish taco - Rynh's treat.
No. 441644 ID: b85f8c


Do you have equipment? Take stock.
No. 441677 ID: bf54a8

get your stuff.
No. 441689 ID: b33427

Not like you're heading out right away, so get dinner, and put your gear together for the trip. Oh, and punch Ryhn in the arm and run away, preferably along a route she can't fit her huge ass through.

Yeah, you can do better than Ryhn. She's more like a playfully abusive older sister to you than a romantic interest. Too bad she's the only kobold or part-kobold lady in town that isn't a relation. Oh, and just asking out of curiosity: Has your brother been stupid enough to try hitting on Ryhn? That is, if he's old enough.

Yanno, if you keep traveling with Ryhn, eventually she's going to visit somewhere with lady-'bolds. Then you could try to pick up a romantic interest, or at least get laid. In fact, you should make a personal vow to keep traveling with Ryhn until you are no longer a virgin, by one way or another.
No. 441702 ID: 6a1ec2

Or you could just travel on your own, alone, without any protection from the creatures that stalk the sunlit mountains; creatures with huge beards and beady little eyes and so many axes. Who cares if some big powerful dragon bitch is there to throw in the way or not? Not me, nope!
No. 442019 ID: 58396a


Be honest, dood! Tell her you've always wondered what it'd be like to go out. You know... that "romance" stuff. Like dates or whatever.

Think of this as a date. Except with the regular amount of violence. And a guy to make sure a bunch of other guys don't crash it. With swords and axes.
No. 443308 ID: ea36ec

Here's a thought: Rynh's Dad. He's been on some adventures to get the scars and daughter he's got. Maybe he could give you some pointers, on dealing with people twice your size and up.
No. 443316 ID: 6a13b9

I like this idea. Consider staying here and training or even questing with Rynh's dad.

Might even be interesting to have a Rynh side and Jerhal side of the quest to switch back and forth between.
No. 443856 ID: 42c1c6

Hah, now you've got her thinking about it. Good work, that's always step one.

That guy who said punch her in the arm and run... don't do that, instead slap her on the ass and run. Much, much better.
No. 445619 ID: 14a1d0
File 134548239548.png - (157.55KB , 882x347 , 50.png )

>Get your stuff
Yeah, I gotta get ready to go. I need to pack up some stuff real quick.

>Stay and train with Rynh's dad
I don't really need to know how to rebuild an engine. Not to got visit elves, anyway. They don't even have any real technology of any kind.
They're probably really bitter about everyone else getting ahead of them.

>Slap her on the ass.
Well, fair's fair. She whipped me, so...
OH GODS! OH GODS! I can see why her dad is all scarred up. She must take after her mother! Why did I think that was a good idea?
No. 445626 ID: 9718f3

Why DID you think that was a good idea? Obviously, you should have caressed it fondly.
No. 445627 ID: f2974f

Whats done is done now you have to do like so many kobolds before you have done. Run for your life!
Come on Jerhal pump those buns!
No. 445628 ID: 4d21ee

Jump on her back! She can't reach you there!

She might try to shake you off, so grab her pitiful excuses for breasts as hard as you can. The pain will keep her from trying to shake you off.
No. 445639 ID: 8a3061

She's going to murder the shit out of you. Console yourself with the knowledge that it was worth it.
No. 445645 ID: e3f578

Relax, she's just messing with you.
I mean, she fondles you all the time. She doesn't have the right to get truly angry at you for an ass pat.
It's what good opposite sex friends (that flirt with each other but never take it far) do.
And she has a great ass. It's a damn shame if SOMEONE's not patting it. And it's better if you do it than some stranger like that minotaur or another creep. So, naturally, the responsibility falls to you.
No. 445655 ID: a3b384

So you now can impress her by not getting caught and eaten despite incurring her wrath. Or something. At least you can convince her that you make good, annoying, speedy bait for monsters.
No. 445679 ID: 6a1ec2

No. 445685 ID: 7459d5

She probably won't kill you..
After all, you're probably the only person that's brave enough to actually fight with her on a regular basis.
Still you must avoid injury at all costs! Especially burns! You cannot adventure well with burns!

FIND WATER. JUMP IN! (you can swim right?)
No. 445687 ID: 67e8b2

>rebuild an engine
Ah, so you're one of THOSE kobolds. How's the state of medicine and dentistry?

I ask because it seems you might need those things soon.

Try surrendering and apologizing.
No. 445708 ID: 1444d5

She's breathing fire into the air rather than at you, she can't be that pissed.
No. 445709 ID: bf54a8

come on man, worth it.
No. 445744 ID: 42c1c6

Good work, you pissed her off in exactly the right way. Really though, get the hell out of there. Singed fur is a bad thing.
No. 445965 ID: 54fb5c

Important things first: Was it a nice ass? Maybe you should let her know?
No. 446018 ID: 47448b

Was it round and soft and oh so inviting~ ?
No. 456026 ID: 14a1d0
File 134802506842.png - (170.95KB , 753x671 , 51.png )

Yes! Freedom! She can't keep up with me. I'm too fast for her.

Oh god, that's a knee...

>Was it round and soft and oh so inviting~?

No, it's hard and bony and oh so jammed in my ribs.
No. 456028 ID: 6a1ec2

You didn't shout EVVYBODY RUN. So you ran into someone who wasn't running. You have brought this upon yourself!
No. 456047 ID: 58396a


Is that a gnoll I spy? Are gnolls common in your little hodgepodge village?
No. 456051 ID: e3f578

Oh man
Look at those curves!
You just docked in motorboat city! Now don't fuck up with your etiquette, gnoll ladies like dominating you tiny adorable guys!
No. 456057 ID: b33427

Don't you know you never, ever, look back when you're running away? That's something every kobold knows, since your entire species spends half the time running away from everything. Gods, Jehral, you're a disgrace to your entire species.

Well, since you've knocked the air out of yourself by a self-inflicted knee to the chest, nothing left to do but crumple to the ground in pain, and try to gasp out an apology before this gnoll punts you down the street. Hopefully Ryhn will be too busy doubled over in laughter at this scene to catch up and pummel you.
No. 456058 ID: bbee3d

I'm going to guess that the face we're not seeing is full of hard, pointy teeth. To avoid getting more closely acquainted with them, apologize quickly and create some distance between yourself and the nice gnoll.
No. 456092 ID: 8a3061

back away grinning inanely
No. 456094 ID: 9718f3

Stumble back while clutching your poor bruised ribs while gasping out an apology as you try to figure out how to breath again.
No. 456115 ID: 26a7c1

oh hey is that a potential party member I see there
No. 456130 ID: 61e7f9

>Well, since you've knocked the air out of yourself by a self-inflicted knee to the chest, nothing left to do but crumple to the ground in pain, and try to gasp out an apology before this gnoll punts you down the street. Hopefully Ryhn will be too busy doubled over in laughter at this scene to catch up and pummel you.
No. 457279 ID: 14a1d0
File 134842671063.png - (309.43KB , 1024x768 , 52.png )

"Well looky here, boys. The meat's running to us now and he's smellin' like he knows where what we want is. The gods are just giving me everything I want today."

"Must be for all that good behavior, right boss?"

This seems a little ominous, what with the pack of raggedy, heavily armed gnolls talking about how I can get them what they're after.

"So can we eat him now, boss?" says the one in the back with the big chopping thing. "Of course not!", says the female, which is good for me, since I hate being eaten and all. "We find the target first, then when we're sure the authorities aren't on our asses, then we eat him."

I bet this is Rynh's fault.
No. 457283 ID: e3f578

This is the part where we bail. Fast.
And get a weapon and cut some throats. Come on Jehral, your a kobold, running, sneaking and trapping is in your blood.
No. 457285 ID: 886a4d

Maybe in exchange for helping you find your target you can not eat me.
No. 457287 ID: 67ba4b

yes offer to help them find the target in exchange for your life
No. 457289 ID: 629257

Run! Right back to where you came from, they'll chase you headfirst into a pissed off firebreathing Ryhn.
No. 457291 ID: 0b214d


Oh hell no, turn around, run like fuck and be ready to dodge or wriggle out of grasping hands and such, maybe bite of some fingers or punch between the legs in the genitals.

If you manage to get away, try to get to Rynh and warn her of these bastards, seems like they're after her, maybe because of her recent adventure, who knows.

If they grab you, prepare to scream like a woman as shrilly as possible.
No. 457297 ID: 54fb5c

Call for the authorities. Loudly. Find a small passage you can lose them in.
No. 457415 ID: 14a1d0
File 134845598077.png - (105.40KB , 420x756 , 53.png )

>run back and lead them into angry Rynh

I run back the way I came so that Rynh can put some of that flailing rage to better use.

"Rynh! Help! Somebody's trying to eat me and it's probably because of you! Is that a lemon tart?"

"Hell, yeah. I guess the shipment came in yesterday and now the bakery has lemons. They're so good."

"That's great and all, but there's a pack of gnolls after me because they say I smell like someone they're after and that someone is probably you!"

"Aw man... Gnolls? I just climbed a mountain, got beat down by a minotaur, punched a wizard off a cliff, fought a giant, magical spider and then walked a whole lot of miles home. I was hoping to get some rest. I'm kind of tired."
No. 457422 ID: 3461c9

"Well, fuck you, and lead me to someone who gives a damn. Did you say something about a minotaur?"
No. 457423 ID: bf54a8

"i don't think they care"
No. 457451 ID: b33427

Go place Rynh between yourself and the direction of the gnolls.

"Well, if you're too fuckin' busy eating lemon tarts to lift a finger, get that minotaur that followed you here to fight them! Or scare them off. Just do something!"
No. 457455 ID: 629257

"Too fucking bad. Now finish that tart and grab some weapons before we're both dinner."

Make a mental note: sweets help counter her fiery rage.
No. 457489 ID: 9718f3

You could always lie and claim they said they were looking for some "giant half-kobold guy". Because it would mean they thought she was a dude. Which would likely make her angry. But she might just take out her anger on you.
No. 460962 ID: 14a1d0
File 134963915234.png - (259.80KB , 938x768 , 54.png )

"I don't think they care whether you're tired or want to eat seasonal pastries! They gotta be here for you, because nobody else in this town goes around punching wizards, so maybe you'd like to deal with this bullshit before somebody decides to horribly mangle and eat me!"

"Fine, but I don't see why they'd be after me. It's not like I left any witnesses or anything, geez..."

"Do you realize how evil that sounds?"

"It's not evil, it's just... through. You can never be too careful when punching wizards, right? My point is, how would anyone know who I was to even send someone after me?"

"They didn't. That's why they hired us to track you down."

"Now that makes more sense. It's not like there was a lot of people around to see me do anything."

Aw, nuts.
No. 460964 ID: bf54a8

cunt punch the gnoll and rynh burn it's face off.
No. 460965 ID: e3f578

And how do they know they tracked down the right person, eh?
I mean, come on, EVERY adventurer or mercenary punches wizards. I bet that gnoll has punched, raped, and eaten wizards all in that order. Who's to say she isn't actually tracking down herself?
No. 460987 ID: 67ba4b

challenge her to a contest that you are best at.
No. 460995 ID: c6ec33

Ask if she plans to boob-squish you to death.
No. 461042 ID: 61e7f9

>>I mean, come on, EVERY adventurer or mercenary punches wizards. I bet that gnoll has punched, raped, and eaten wizards all in that order. Who's to say she isn't actually tracking down herself?

say this.
No. 461113 ID: b33427

Yeah, say this, but do it from behind the nearest, largest object between you and the gnoll, which just happens to be Rynh's huge ass. It's also the safest place to be if Rynh fire-breaths this walkin' fur rug.

Then when that fails to do anything, ask fem-gnoll how much she's getting paid for this job, 'cause you might be able to beat it. There might even be enough for her to say who she was hired by, and where.
No. 461114 ID: b33427

Yeah, say this, but do it from behind the nearest, largest object between you and the gnoll, which just happens to be Rynh's huge ass. It's also the safest place to be if Rynh fire-breaths this walkin' fur rug.

Then when that fails to do anything, ask fem-gnoll how much she's getting paid for this job, 'cause you might be able to beat it. There might even be enough for her to say who she was hired by, and where.
No. 461193 ID: a5d914

Well ask what they want. You're cooperative as long as there is MONEY in it.
No. 461829 ID: 2e3746

Become romantically interested with the Gnoll-thing! It'd be great! (trust me)
No. 462927 ID: 14a1d0
File 135025345738.png - (275.29KB , 1024x768 , 55.png )

The gnoll grabs Rynh's shirt and pulls her up on her toes. "I don't even care. I'm just turning you in for a payout.

"They gonna pay you in arms, cuz I'm gonna rip it off if you don't step back, bitch!"

"Big words for a giant kobold. Now where's the stupid shiny rock. I'm going to be needing that too."

>Who's to say she isn't actually tracking down herself?
That doesn't even make any sense.

>Ask if she plans to boob-squish you to death.
This also doesn't make any sense and seems like a terrible idea.

>ask fem-gnoll how much she's getting paid for this job, 'cause you might be able to beat it.

I don't have a lot of money and I doubt Rynh is going to pay her off. She's kind of big on fighting.

>You're cooperative as long as there is MONEY in it.
So I should betray someone I've known my whole life for a bit of money so I can be on the losing side when Rynh burns everyone alive?
I'll think about it.

If I'm going to do something, it should probably be a little more decisive and less stupid. I'm like half the size of either of them.
Also, I can see up Rynh's shirt from here... Nope, nothing.
No. 462930 ID: 48f315

Wonder if Rynh is actually male this time around. That would be amusing.
No. 462932 ID: bf54a8

bite the gnoll in the ass.
No. 462937 ID: f2c20c

The smart thing to do is to hand over Rynh and her shiny rock so that your settlement goes unharmed.
No. 462947 ID: e3f578

Do you have a knife on you? You have a really good opportunity to FUCK up her spine right now.
Or cunt punt...
Jehral, I got an idea.
Rape the gnoll with your tongue, don't think, DOITDOITDOITDOIT
You're down there commence the distracting cunnilingus!
No. 462951 ID: 629257

Give the signal to Rhyn to breathe fire at the gnoll. This signal is slapping her ass as hard as you possibly can. Then be ready to run for more and better reasons then you've ever had.
No. 463010 ID: 42c1c6

You know, I don't think you really need to do much here Jehral, just wait three seconds, Rynh'll light this gnoll bitch up and then you can all go eat lemon pastries from the bakery.

Nah, that's no fun. You're a kobold, jump on her back and stabby stabby. Or if you are unarmed, claw at her neck.
No. 463050 ID: 2ed56b

Yes. Slapping Ryhn's ass is all she needs to get properly riled. Doo eeeetttt
No. 463056 ID: 0ed1c4

Slap their titties together
No. 463060 ID: 87d89c

Dude, don't you hate Rynh? Just sell her out and let her get what's coming to her.

Slap Rynh's ass and tell the gnoll all you know. After that join a group that won't treat you as deadweight or chew on your head. These gnolls are probably not them, though the head gnoll seems legit.
No. 463085 ID: b33427

Rynh's going to mop the street with this gnoll bitch, whether or not you do anything. What you can do is lower the chance Rynh'll get injured by keeping the gnoll from swinging that poleax.

The gnoll isn't paying attention to you, so quickly slip around to her other side, open your mouth wide, and chomp down on the hand that's holding that poleax. Grab on to the poleax shaft as hard as you can with both hands, and don't let go for anything. She'll have to let go of Ryhn to get you off, and that's when Ryhn'll attack.
No. 463093 ID: 375db2

punch/kick gnollbitch in the back of one of her knees. Strong as she may be, its still a soft spot, and should give Rynh a good opening to set the greasy bitch on fire.
No. 463238 ID: 8a3061

attempt to locate and then steal the charm vs. fire that the lady gnoll may well have about her person

seeing as, you know, she probably knew she'd be hunting someone who could breathe fire

No. 463703 ID: 14a1d0
File 135042961733.png - (243.07KB , 768x865 , 56.png )

Her legs are bigger than my entire body. I think I'd better go for the throat if I want to be slightly more effective and less suicidal.
I'm up her back and have my teeth in her neck before she even realizes what happened.

"You little shit! I'm gonna bite your fucking head off!" she says, growling even though I'm trying to choke her out. Kobolds can break bones with our jaws, it's just that gnolls have really big necks and I don't think I'm getting anything vital here. It's not really an issue for long, Rynh cracks her across the jaw and sends her flailing to the ground and I can feel the crushing agony of victory.

"Woo! Fuck yes! We have a winner!" hoots Rynh, pumping her fists in the air. "But, uh... It's not really that big of a victory compared to all the other stuff. C'mon, let's go get the other two."

I think I'm stuck.
No. 463704 ID: f2c20c

Then ask for help.
No. 463707 ID: 6a8f04

grope gnolltits
No. 463710 ID: 1f8505


Loot the gnoll!
No. 463731 ID: 67ba4b

indeed acquire all of the loots like a good thief
No. 463735 ID: bf54a8

flail around and rip her shirt off and grope her tits
No. 463739 ID: 9718f3

Whine at Rynh until she helps get you out from under the gnoll. Like a man.
No. 463740 ID: 4435b3

No. 463747 ID: b33427

Roll the gnoll's torso over to slip out from under her, "inadvertently" groping her in the process.

Tell Ryhn to not run off so fast; This gnoll needs to be tied up first, so she can't run off and blab to her employers if she wakes up.

You suggest using her top and the belt from her loincloth to hogtie her. Take the bindings off your tiny feets and use them to gag her. Leave her in an alley for now.
No. 463762 ID: 26a7c1

Whatever you do, make sure to get in a few good gropes.
No. 464236 ID: c74c7d


Rape the gnoll to establish dominance.
No. 464240 ID: 1f8505


Let's not.
No. 464379 ID: 14a1d0
File 135060677420.png - (153.08KB , 1024x768 , 57.png )

For now, I just want to get out of here because she's crushing me and my tail's bent up in an awkward position.

>Grope her tits
I don't care what I grab as long as I can get her off of me quick.

>Whine at Rynh until she helps get you out from under the gnoll. Like a man.
Rynh is already wondering if I'm worth taking along. I can take care of myself. Now if I could... just kind of, roll her off here. Hrgh~!
No. 464380 ID: 1f8505


You are not looting the body!

Why are you not looting the body?!
No. 464381 ID: 629257

Oh for the love of... look get under her arm and push her body up and away. Trying to squeeze through her armpit is just getting you in tighter.
No. 464382 ID: bf54a8

indeed, swing the arm around.
No. 464384 ID: 32f0e3

You're gonna have to gnaw your way out.
No. 464392 ID: 26a7c1

Push on her with your right leg.
No. 464434 ID: 4224e5

grab her tongue, then use spittle as lubricant.
No. 464449 ID: 6a13b9

Discover magical abilities by casting Mini-gnoll on her.
Deal with a you-sized gnoll tsundere the rest of your journey.
(If this works she'll probably still have bigger breasts than Rynh.)
No. 464703 ID: b33427

You're not gonna get out that way; You're pushing her torso into your left leg, working against yourself. You're also laying on her right arm, trapping it against you. So just stop what you're doing right now.

You're never going to get out from under her with just your arms. You need to get your legs in action, either to push her torso away, or push you away. They do have the strongest muscles in your body, after all.

Lean to your right far enough so you're laying on the ground, then lift her arm up enough you can get it in both hands, and shove it so it lays across her chest. Then winkle your way under her torso so you can get both hands on her shoulder blades, and push her torso up as much as you can. Then either get your feet under her torso and push up, or get your knees under there to brace it up. Then you can push yourself out from under there with your hands, and maybe your tail as well, if you still have feeling in it.
No. 468457 ID: 14a1d0
File 135200763670.png - (118.97KB , 751x768 , 58.png )

I climb out from under the gnoll and see that Rynh has things well in hand. Both of the other gnolls look pretty smashed up.

"Jehral, do you know what this means?"

"I don't know. That somebody is trying to hunt you down and maybe kill you?"

"Yeah! I got me a legitimate, shadowy, evil force after me. I'm into a full on adventure at this point."

She seems pretty pumped considering that someone might be trying to stab her in the near future.

"Yeah, great."
No. 468458 ID: 1f8505


Either that or Rynh pissed off the wrong person and now has a bounty on her head.

Loot all bodies.
No. 468459 ID: bf54a8

offer to watch her back.

and by that you secretly mean her ass, but don't tell her.
No. 468464 ID: 6dc5a6

No boots to loot, damn. Only logical course of action here is to skin your attackers and sell the pelts.
No. 468475 ID: b33427

Jehral, help out by getting a bunch of rope. This lot is going to need thorough tying up. There a place to haul them for interrogation?

There any risk of a local lawman showing up and being bothersome?
No. 468870 ID: 14a1d0
File 135215325387.png - (185.09KB , 1024x588 , 59.png )

Rynh can interrogate them just fine, by the look of it. I'll just keep watch while she talks to them. I guess they didn't know she was a half-dragon when they were tracking her or they might have sent more stuff after her.

>There any risk of a local lawman showing up and being bothersome?

Would the town guard be interested in a street brawl involving three armed gnolls? I don't know. I guess I could just ask this officer here.
No. 468881 ID: bf54a8

"just to be clear, they started it, just didn't expect the person they were mugging to kick their asses"
No. 468889 ID: 8b9215

"Three gnolls picked a fight with her."
No. 468890 ID: b33427

"They tried mugging Rynh. So... Yeah. You got a cell to scrape them into once she's done?"
No. 468894 ID: 1f8505


"Who do you think is hotter?"
No. 469653 ID: 87d89c

Nah, don't snitch nothin'. Let's settle this matter without the authorities.
No. 469655 ID: 87d89c


Also, take control of Rynh.

Haul off the leader some where secure, tie her up, tear off her top and interrogate her properly.

See if you can also work out one of those "I'm sparing your life, so you owe me one" kinda deals.
No. 471608 ID: 14a1d0
File 135287677865.png - (101.66KB , 800x600 , 60.png )

I am quick to point out that the gnolls attacked Rynh first, even through I guess it was actually me that attacked them first, but I don't tell them that. They threatened first, anyway.

The constable seems to not care and tells Rynh to drag the gnolls with her while we all go to the police office.
I'm used to it by now.

I don't think Rynh has ever deliberately broken the law or anything, but the police are on a first name basis anyway.

No. 471647 ID: 14a1d0
File 135290262239.png - (81.53KB , 800x600 , 61.png )

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