Attempt to use willpower to turn into a dragon.

Kill self, become one of the undead.

Alright then. Let's find the nearest transmuter!

And hey, would you like to switch genders while you're at it~?

Show us your tits!

Freis 2009/08/29(Sat)16:36 No. 35957 ID: d75539
File 125158900240.gif - (19.37KB , 600x600 , 002.gif )

>>35947
What are you, retarded? I'm fourteen!

>>35948
That's a pansy ELF's way out! The kind that doesn't hump trees, the one that gets sodomised by the damn vegetables themselves!

>>35950
Yeah, THAT'LL solve my problems. Throwing magic at it's just a quick fix. I wanna cut myself off from the whole race, make myself part of, or even start my own one!

And hell no. I'm staying a man. It was hard enough finding excuses for them not to cut it off where I live in the bordello.

>>35947

Cry out "Fuck you, I'm a dragon!" Feel the power inside you and tell everyone about your inner dragon. Now eat a lot and become fat and lazy. Your new name is Shimmerscales and you need a mate, plz.

Well then goddamn. You're already not an elf.
Bam.

Fucking done already. It's mostly the attitude.

Congrats.

>>35957
Well alright then. What /would/ you prefer to be? A dorf? A cutebold? Give us something to work with here.

...14?

...elf?

...Are you sure you're not the human equivalent of 14?

>>35958
Unicode stare.

>>35957
Shouldn't you still be breastfeeding, an elf at fourteen?

That aside, what's this about a bordello?

Next plan of action would be to either kill every other elf or go somewhere elves don't go and claim to be something else.

Freis 2009/08/29(Sat)16:56 No. 35975 ID: d75539
File 125159015853.gif - (19.09KB , 600x600 , 003.gif )

>>35958
Die. In a ditch

>>35960
The attitude alone won't get me no where if I want to start a race of non-pansy elfs.

>>35963
What else? I wanna be like the guy who brought me up in this fuck shanty, Zuglar Ushilgeshud, or, as everyone calls him, Brewbeard. He runs the bar in here. No one makes a better drink than a dwarf, though he's been showing me a thing or two..

Freis 2009/08/29(Sat)16:56 No. 35976 ID: d75539
File 125159018020.gif - (31.60KB , 600x600 , 004.gif )

>>35964
Do these look like human ears?

>>35965
Elves and humans age about the same speed til about the late teens, Brewbeard says.

>>35976
You can mix drinks, but one of the biggest stumbling blocks would be the fragile constitution elves usually have.

Under your guardian's guidance, start a regime of harsh training and autopoisoning yourself with increasing amounts of alcohol.
If a dorf can't toughen you up, we won't be much help either.

Okay.
So what's up, Celelyioloo?

>>35976
Start questing.
Get strong.
Develop alcohol tolerance.
Grow a beard.

>>35976

If you take Brewbeard's beard, you will BECOME Brewbeard. Everyone knows that. Go do it now.

>>35975
The attitude is what makes you a non-pansy elf.

What the world needs is more elves with some fucking backbone.

What you need to do is go out, do some fucking. Find a hot elf chick and bang her. Have a kid, and then raise that kid to be as badass as possible.

Freis 2009/08/29(Sat)17:39 No. 35990 ID: d75539
File 125159279556.gif - (67.05KB , 1000x389 , 005.gif )

>>35978
It's no good mixing the drinks if you don't know the flavors, hence, a lot of the stuff he taught me involved be getting pretty damn drunk.. Thankfully, he started out on cocktails, (The place is sort of fancy, my guess to draw away suspicion from the old bat who runs the place) then started sneaking in harder, less poncy brews in.. I still remember the first time he treated me to some strong dwarven ale.. if not the rest of the night after.. aside from learning to pace myself til I was accustomed to it the hard way..

>>35988
Don't settle for one hot elf chick, do them all! Also, grab some booze and drink it.

Alright. Well the first step towards a new you is a new name.

What are you gonna call yourself?

Moonleaf 2009/08/29(Sat)17:52 No. 35995 ID: f2de2f
File 12515935436.png - (103.01KB , 600x600 , 1.png )

Quit yer bitchin'...

>>35990
My god, that is the beardiest dorf I have seen yet.
Try not to snap your wrist like a twig if you ever brofist him.

Unrelatedly, you could try figuring out why elves can't grow beards and work to reverse it.
Heavy sideburns and moustaches would be a secondary goal.
Body hair as well.

You need to grow a goddamn beard. Even you should be able to do that. Go cut some of your hair and stick it on in a convincing way. That'll teach your pores to start growing it on their own.

Failing that, go find some bees. Bees make kickass beards.

Also, Take no shit. Thats really the best advice we can possibly give you.

>>35990
You've got alcohol tolerance, correct? At least, more tolerance than the average elf.

>>35991
>>35978
If you combine these two and use a bit of logic, you can ply the women with alcohol to increase your chances of getting them in the sack. After all, fragile elf constitution.

>>36002
>Try not to snap your wrist like a twig if you ever brofist him.
Snap his wrist like a twig? Oh, I get it. Twig. Trees. Elves and trees.

rub peppers, vinegars, and generally painful things onto your chin-area. the irritation will cause hair to form- it's a reaction designed to ward of insects.

Get yourself an axe!

>>35990
First of all, Celeleliyo....Cello, we should know what any innate skills you have are, and any interests in ADDITION to not being a pansy elf.

Look for beardbard, he can teach some cool stuff about dorfiness and being a dorf.
Anyway you can try to be a MANLY elf, no need to change you race.

The only appropriate course of action is to find yourself an axe and cut down a few trees. To set yourself apart from the pansy elves.

Suggestion 2009/08/30(Sun)03:12 No. 36191 ID: 9b7e5a
File 12516271543.jpg - (12.56KB , 264x320 , 1250253365084.jpg )

>>35945
I like your style, boy.

Clearly, pouting is the answer.

Become a nightmarish horror of flesh and metal, a creature which devours all.

And, of course, can fire lasers out of his eyes.

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)15:22 No. 40618 ID: d75539
File 125253492167.gif - (36.99KB , 600x600 , 006.gif )

Well, for now, just to get back on track, let's try to organize all this crap. First off, let's try figure out what the hell to do first.

>>35980
Questing? A good idea, I'd at least get to travel to new places, try new booze, new competition to train myself against. Though, before that, I suppose getting the hell out of the bordello's a good start. Attempts to escape before didn't turn out that great.

>>36026
Skills? Well, Brewbeard tells me I'm at least a match for a dwarf kid when it comes to strength and taking a hit.
I can also do a few tricks with the bottles that he wouldn't dare do behind the counter. Trick pouring and crap like that with spinning bottles and junk. I think he said something about elven dexterity needing an outlet somewhere. Though, he also said he'd kick my ass if I broke anything. He's kicked it at least three-four times.
Incidentally, apparently, since I was born in the winter months, I've got a bit of a knack for ice magic. Very handy, since, we haven't been able to put the money aside to pay a wizard to make a cold box for keeping the drinks cool.
And.. uh.. I guess the girls and women here don't find me repulsive or anything.. Then again, could be because I'm the only boy-MAN here aside from Brewbeard. Most of the rest are just eunuchs who wouldn't know a sexual advance if it was raping them where they stood.. though.. they're a bit distracting at times with all the attention they give me.. Especially the old bat in charge.. I'd rather not go into it..

>>36011
If I've got nothing in the way of body hair past 20, I'll consider it. No bees though.

>>36120
Beardbeard you said..? I'll ask Brewbeard later if he knows anyone by that name.

>>40618
You keep mentioning this Bordello. Where the heck is that? Is it an elven city or something?

>>40634
Adept needs a dictionary

Suggestion 2009/09/09(Wed)15:50 No. 40636 ID: 06fc25
File 125253661659.jpg - (41.97KB , 344x226 , the_more_you_know.jpg )

>>40634

It's a whorehouse, son.

>>40636
*facepalm* *white flag*

Okay, rephrasing here. Why are you working in a brothel?

... and what position do you fill~? <3

>>40642
I'm guessing either assistant bartender, gopher/bitch boy, or shota eyecandy.

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)16:28 No. 40657 ID: d75539
File 125253889032.gif - (46.44KB , 600x600 , 007.gif )

>>40642
My earliest memories are from living here, Brewbeard watching me play with a few dwarven toys, since it seems I'd broken the ones suited for elves. As hellish as the place is, it's my only home. Knowing Brewbeard's probably the only thing that's kept me sane.

>>40645
Yeah, that's more or less it. At least I get to wear pants when I'm working in the bar.

Squeegy!OeZ2B20kbk 2009/09/09(Wed)16:40 No. 40668 ID: 64d98f
File 125253963168.jpg - (1.84KB , 85x59 , uhm.jpg )

>>40657
> Brewbeard watching me

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)16:56 No. 40680 ID: d75539
File 125254057422.gif - (43.27KB , 600x600 , 008.gif )

>>40668
You know what constitutes a dwarven child's toys don't you? Axes and miniature, fully functional forges. Are you implying I shouldn't have had supervision, playing with such things?

Care to share with the rest of the class what's on your mind?

>>40680
Gotta ask...
What were the elvish toys, then?

Okay, lets introduce you to the wonderful world of strength training.

First off, do as many push-ups as you can. If you can't do even one, do push-ups on your knees (wussy way to do it, but if you can't do a normal one, you have to start small)

Then, do as many sit-ups as you can.

Then as many squats as you can.

And your height/wieght would be handy to know as well.


Beyond that, you have a few options for getting out of the bordello. I vote for trying to get Brewbeard to help you leave, with a dorfen promise to return. He seems to have taken a liking to you, and if you tell him you want to become less elven and more manly and dorfen in this journey, he is likely to help.

You want to be a real man? Then theres only one way out of that bordello. You're going to have to have sex with each and every one of those prostitutes until they're so exausted from your hot dickings that they have no choice but to agree with whatever you say. Then you take all the money, go out on the town and buy enough booze and whores to last you a whole adventure.

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)18:05 No. 40720 ID: d75539
File 125254471945.gif - (57.21KB , 600x600 , 009.gif )

>>40686
Usually some stupid set of dolls, the "wonderful, heroic" elf prince with sword and shield facing the evil Shadar Kai with only a little dagger.

I had a lot of fun smashing them with my toy axe. Especially since they were made of, what else? Wood. (Which was confiscated by the bitch in charge around here.)

>>40720

Is that the 'bitch in charge'? Now that I see her I believe she is your mother and Brewbeard your father. Would explain why you want to be manly.

>>40720
...hmm.

How do you feel about Shadar Kai? They are elves, but they engage in murder and depravity fairly often, and are all around assholes. Way more manly than normal elves.

Maybe you could make a short term goal to become more like them, and then from there progress to becoming more dorfish.

Suggestion 2009/09/09(Wed)18:58 No. 40746 ID: ab91ae
File 125254793247.png - (57.68KB , 600x400 , Gnomesucksatdrawingguitars.png )

>>40723
>How do you feel about Shadar Kai? They are elves, but they engage in murder and depravity fairly often, and are all around assholes

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)19:03 No. 40749 ID: d75539
File 125254819537.gif - (41.87KB , 600x600 , 010.gif )

>>40722
>Father
Oh how I wish. Sadly, I'm an orphan. Still, even if not by blood, he's close as I got to one. Goddamn I'm happy I was blessed with at least that much.

>Mother
I hope to any and all gods you're joking. That woman's what happens when a changeling and a demonspawn knock boots. I'm not even kidding. The woman does a lot of the 'special orders' from clients herself. Whatever's not handy, she takes the role.

I'm also goddamn sure mothers don't do what she does to her children, if I was somehow related to her.

>>40697
I'd rather just pick up an axe or something and start training, learning how to fight and building strength at the same time. Hence why the adventuring idea's so appealing.

Additionally, I'm about as tall as Brewbeard, maybe less right now. Apparently, whatever growth spurt I've got in store for me is taking it's sweet time to hit. Additionally, I'm probably half his weight.

As for escaping, it'd be his job if he openly helped me to leave, and he's happy here, even if I'm not. He's done with adventuring and all that, and has steady employment here. He's built up quite the reputation too.
That doesn't mean though, he's unwilling to do what he can to help covertly. He's told me about a cache of old equipment he used to use before settling here buried under an old, dead tree shaped like an axe in the ground, and gave me the key to open it.

>>40708
There's at least two dozen women here I know by name, and more I don't know. A lot of them would have the height advantage, and if I tried anything they didn't want, it'd literally be my balls on the line, IF they weren't able to fight me off. I could REALLY use a bit more in the height department.
And hell, I've got some confidence in my stamina (I'm not going into detail) but there's no way in hell I could attempt to do that many women in the one sitting.

Still, it's worth noting there's probably at least one person around here that could be talked into helping me leave.. Could even be good to have along til I get on my feet, fighting-wise.

Fuuka ♥ 2009/09/09(Wed)19:14 No. 40760 ID: 2f2d76
File 125254884623.png - (4.39KB , 165x191 , FUUKAMK3.png )

..How did I get in charge of a Bordello again?

Suggestion 2009/09/09(Wed)19:19 No. 40766 ID: ab91ae
File 125254918628.jpg - (42.62KB , 401x181 , holy god.jpg )

>Changeling and a Demonspawn
...Holy shit that woman is terrifying. That is some strong blood in her veins.

>Still, it's worth noting there's probably at least one person around here that could be talked into helping me leave.. Could even be good to have along til I get on my feet, fighting-wise.
Proceed.

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)19:23 No. 40772 ID: d75539
File 125254939746.gif - (26.77KB , 600x600 , 011.gif )

>>40723
The Shadar Kai haven't the best reputation. Granted, they're.. well.. grittier at the least, asshole =/= manly.

They're a good few rungs up the ladder in my book from elves, but not really something to aspire to. Men shouldn't stick to the shadows and strike when their enemy's back is turned at every opportunity.

Incidentally, we've one or two Shadar Kai women in the bordello's basement.. I accidentally peeked in on one during her 'play time.' Crazy bitch spotted me and grabbed a collar and leash. Thank god I was fast on my feet. Whenever I see her in the break room and the bar, she's always got the same collar hooked onto her belt.. Mad-woman gives me the shivers. Moreso than the old bat.

Fuuka ♥ 2009/09/09(Wed)19:25 No. 40776 ID: 2f2d76
File 125254952370.png - (2.58KB , 147x134 , FUUKA2.png )

>>40766
>..Holy shit that woman is terrifying.

Hold your tongue!

Is this the face of terror?

(you best say know if you know what is good for you)

>>40772
AND YOU!

YOU NEVER DREW A CLOTHED VERSION OF >>40760 AND IT IS MOST INDECENT.

>>40746
I meant it as a compliment, I SWEAR.

Besides, Presley is king of a Dwarf and Kobold fort. That is pretty atypical.

>>40772
Maybe theres something to her strategy. If you managed to get a collar and a leash on every woman here, you'd probably be able to subdue a few of them, even with their physical advantage. Besides, I'm sure your over estimating their strength, they arent men, after all, and look at you! You must be strong as an oxe! You should totally try it. I'm sure nothing could possibly go wrong.

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)20:01 No. 40807 ID: d75539
File 125255168212.gif - (41.56KB , 600x600 , 012.gif )

>>40766
She's the bouncer for the place. A beast woman or wererabbit or some shit. They weren't able to get her to do anything else around the brothel when it came to seeing customers other than kicking their asses, and not in the way they'd pay for either. Eventually, she was signed onto security. Lately though, she seems sick of the place, often looking to get fired. After she built up a reputation, her presence keeps the clients in line, usually.

>>40785
Were you listening? Unwanted interference with the girls will GET MY BALLS CUT OFF. There's reason almost all males working here are EUNUCHS. I wouldn't even be able to get away with trying to enslave even one of the girls for long before they caught onto me. Even if I'm that old bat's favorite, she'd probably have to lighten my package half a pound to enforce the rules.
I can't very well start a new race of elves if I can't get anyone pregnant, can I?

tl;dr: The girls can fuck with me, I can't fuck with them. Got it?

>>40807
Well it seems rather clear what to do then.

Talk to the bouncer, offer her a life of adventure, fighting and riches, and prove that this isn't some bullshit little kid story by saying you got Brewbeard to tell you where a weapon cache is. Throw in some of that charisma you have, should convince her fairly easily.

Go to said weapon cache, take everything you can carry, make your way to a nearby town, sell the weapons you don't need.

At that point, you are armed, have a capable comrade, and have money. Pretty good amount of progress towards goal of becoming a manly badass, wouldn't you say?

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)20:55 No. 40840 ID: d75539
File 125255490017.gif - (19.72KB , 600x600 , 013.gif )

Alright! Let's get this show on the fucking road already!

CHAPTER 1: START ~ TO FLY THE NEST.

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)20:56 No. 40841 ID: d75539
File 125255500032.gif - (46.82KB , 600x600 , 014.gif )

I find the bouncer soon enough.. she seems to be enjoying a snack.. the were-rabbit notices me..

"..What the fuck do you want, kid?"

"Look, we're both tired of working here. Adventuring seems far more lucrative."

>>40841
Apply CHARISMA to the following:

'Look, I hate it here, and you hate it here. I happened to learn where a weapon cache is. If we leave here, we can arm ourselves to the teeth, sell the rest, and go about fighting, making money and doing whatever we please. You down?'

Volunteer to go collect some debts with the bouncer. Pocket the money and seek fame and fortune in a distant land.

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)21:10 No. 40847 ID: d75539
File 125255581858.gif - (55.43KB , 600x600 , 015.gif )

>>40842
>>40843
"Look, I hate it here, and you hate it here. I happened to learn where a weapon cache is. If we leave here, we can arm ourselves to the teeth, sell the rest, and go about fighting, making money and doing whatever we please. Adventuring seems far more lucrative."

"..Kid, I don't even fucking know you. Why sh-" she pauses a moment.. "Oh, right, you're that kid I have to keep dragging back here. What, you get tired of trying to run away all yourself this time and want a buddy or something?"

>>40847
"Oh, my mistake. I guess you can just stay here if you're so satisfied with the absolutely *daunting* task beating the shit out of drunken lechers all day.

I figured you were one who'd prefer to get a challenge out of life - a challenge you're not going to get here. Maybe I was wrong."

>>40852
Also ask if she genuinely likes carrots, or if she is just eating them because all the other rabbits do.

Ancient secret of manliness: TAKE NO SHIT!
Commence Punching.

>>40860
This is dumb, you're dumb. She'd kick his ass. Getting your ass kicked by a girl is not manly.

>>40847
Time to put your charisma to the test, kid.

"No, I got tired of getting out of here only to have to get dragged back. And as far as I know you are one of the only people in this place with the ability to do that. I reckon that if you and me both bust out of here, then I won't get dragged back here and you can go off and do whatever it is you want to do. And before you go off saying a kid like me is going to just slow you down, I'm gonna be ditching you before you ditch me once we get out of here. I'm sick of this place and just about everyone here, which to an extent includes you, and you probably think the same about me. So, we got a deal?"

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)21:42 No. 40866 ID: d75539
File 125255772667.gif - (55.17KB , 600x600 , 016.gif )

>>40852
"Oh, my mistake. I guess you can just stay here if you're so satisfied with the absolutely *daunting* task beating the shit out of drunken lechers all day.."

That seems to hit home.. though, you're not sure if it hit the right nerve..

"Watch your mouth brat. Yeah, beating the snot out of the idiot drunks that're either stumbling into or out of the bar here is the only bit of fun I get 'working' here, but what can I expect? I'm just a fucking slave to you bastards. Being the guard dog for these sex crazed sluts isn't the best job, but at least I can think I've got my own goddamn will again instead of 'Slave do this! Slave do that! Slave suck my dick!' Pfah!" She near spits on the ground, but instead bites a large chunk from her snack.

You have to raise your hand to cover the smirk forming on your lips, "I figured you were one who'd prefer to get a challenge out of life - a challenge you're not going to get here. Maybe I was wrong.."

She chews rapidly, if only so she can keep her food from tripping her tongue, "Yeah? And what happens if say, I go along on your inane little adventure? What happens if we both get caught? I know what'll happen to me, I'll probably become some other fucking mindless, drugged up slut in the basement. What'll you do to the people trying to catch us? Probably run off at the first sign of trouble and ditch me to save your own useless hide like the pansy shit elf you are."

Fffffff.. I should choose my words carefully.. And hope I can keep myself from losing my cool..

>>40866
'And what if I'm tired of being dragged back here, and am willing to kill to avoid being brought back? What if I know where a large cache of dwarven weapons are? What if I want to get far, far away from here and make a name for myself through conquest and bloodshed, and want to know if you have the courage to follow? What if that were the case?'

"Run off? I'm WAY less likely to run from a fight than YOU"

>>40866

Hell I'd fight to the death to protect you babe. I'm not gonna run away.

>>40869
>wearegoingtodie.gif

"HEY! Who you callin' an elf?"

>>40866
I have greater things in mind for both of us. You don't want this dull job, and I don't want to be a pansy elf. I asked because I respect your ability to kick people's asses, and an am eager to learn more about how to do just that. However, if you'd prefer to keep this job, I suppose nothing's keeping you from it.

I'm just offering an opportunity. Consider it, won't you?

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)22:25 No. 40900 ID: d75539
File 12525603191.gif - (41.21KB , 600x600 , 017.gif )

"Run off? I'm WAY less likely to run from a fight than YOU"

If you hadn't before, you definately hit a nerve right there, the were rabbit swoops down and grabs you by the collar, hoisting you into the air by one hand.

"I'm not some fucking scared little rabbit!! I'm tired of every godsdamned man on the planet thinking I'm some meek little rodent!"

"And what if I'm tired of being dragged back here, and am willing to fight to avoid being brought back? What IF I know where a large cache of dwarven weapons are? What IF I want to get far, far away from here and make a name for myself through whatever means necessary, and want to know if you have the courage to follow? What if that were the case?!"

"I'd say you're a ballsy little, pointy eared, sprite fucker and it's a wonder they haven't been cut off already!"

You feel an odd, but familiar sense of dread..

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)22:26 No. 40901 ID: d75539
File 125256038892.gif - (59.86KB , 600x600 , 018.gif )

"Oh, dear me.. What's happening here? I rather hope you two are playing nicely~"

Ffffffff... shit. I hope the bitch didn't overhear anything

>>40866
"I do not appreciate your racial stereotyping. If people try to catch us they are unlikely to remain unharmed."

This is one of those rare cases where passive voice is a friend.

Wait till she passes and then say "YOU WANNA GO!?"

and put your fists up.

too slow...

>>40901
Playing nicely? Of course. Nothing wrong here~

>>40901
She's showing me some moves.

>>40901
Turn on the charisma for a sec.
"Of course we are! I just asked if she'd mind terribly giving me a better view of the bar. I thought I had noticed someone interesting way in the back, but I couldn't tell from my perspective on the floor.

Looks like they weren't so interesting, after all."

As soon as the bitch is gone, then you can work on the were-rabbit again.

Freis 2009/09/09(Wed)23:29 No. 40960 ID: d75539
File 125256417654.gif - (51.56KB , 600x600 , 019.gif )

>>40918
>>40942
"Playing nicely? Of course! N-Nothing wrong here~"
(Incidentally, right now we're just in one of the upstairs hallways.. she's got good ears, so it's easy for her to just stand in one place and keep an ear out for any screams uh.. more 'distressed' than the norm..)

"Yup! J-just giving picking him up so I could.. U-uh.." she chimes in, starting strong, although.. she could use a little help.. I get the feeling both our asses might be on the line here..

>>40960
"She was showing me the ropes. She's the best bouncer around, so I figured if I wanna get tougher, I should ask her what's what. So if we get a bit loud, I'm sorry in advance."

>>40960

"Give me a hug"

Give her a hug

>>40961
This.

>>40963
This one seems a bit more believable, considering how she is holding us. Since she can hear so well, whisper softly to her 'Sell this or she'll get suspicious.'

She should understand.

>>40963
>>40975
"...give me a hug. We recently came to an understanding about something we didn't agree on. Though it may be somewhat uncharacteristic of us, it felt like the right thing to do after having resolved such an issue of argument."

Clearly the two of you were involved in a staring contest. Trying to psyche eachother out, staring eachother down at eyelevel.... she had to pick you up to her eye level, but nonetheless.

>>40960
"She's teaching me the finer points of golf. Albeit with the balls being soft and squishy, and the tees being bodies."

Freis 2009/09/10(Thu)15:47 No. 41369 ID: d75539
File 12526228563.gif - (51.10KB , 600x600 , 020.gif )

Your mind scrambles for something, ANYTHING to say to get the old bat away..

"She was showing me the ropes. She's the best bouncer around, so I figured if I wanna get tougher,"

"Now now Celes.. You know I don't like you getting into fights.."

"I-I mean! U-Uh.. we were having a staring contest, s-she just had to lift me up to her eye level!"

"Oh..? It didn't look like you were very comfortable with the way she was holding you~"

"SHE'S TEACHING ME THE FINER POINTS OF GOLF, ALBEIT WITH THE BALLS BEING SOFT AND SQUISHIER AND THE TEES BEING BOD- GKKH"

"I was just picking him up for a hug."

"Oh.. how wonderful~"

C-Choking.. sh-she's choking me..

>>41369
When you're telling a lie, pick one and stick with it.

>>41369
"She gives great hugs"

I'm tapping out! I'm tapping out!

Freis 2009/09/10(Thu)16:39 No. 41393 ID: d75539
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"She gives great hugs..gkk" You manage to croak out. AIR. NEED AIR.

"Ah, how precious.. well, just don't get too friendly you two, otherwise I'll have to take measures to separate you two~ Have fun!"

Gods.. I think she's leaving..

"..Golf huh?"

>>41376
L-Luckily, with the old bitch, if you overload her with too much at once, she'll not bother with the details as much..

>L-Luckily, with the old bitch, if you overload her with too much at once, she'll not bother with the details as much.

explain that to alleviate chokehold

>>41393
Okay, she's gone, now come on, put me down.

>>41393
I panicked.
Can I continue breathing now?

>>41393

And a fine sport it is too. They play it with these big cudgels they also use to brain people with. You would be a natural. So, are you in or do I have to fight you?

She's totally on to you. But so what? I'm sure deep down she wants her crazy adopted elf kid to go out on an adventure someday. She just isn't ready for you to leave yet. Parents are like that sometimes.

>>41393

"Sorry, I never was good at making up excuses."

Freis 2009/09/22(Tue)17:42 No. 49408 ID: f6b265
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>>41397
>>41395
>>41447
"Sorry, I never was good at making up excuses."

"Do you even remember what the hell you were saying?"

"I panicked. Can I continue breathing now?"

She lets me down eventually, my throat felt it was near crushed there..

"L-Luckily, with the old bitch, if you overload her with too much at once, she'll not bother with the details as much."

"Whatever, when do you want to leave, where are we meeting?"

well if you really wanna throw them off you could say you ran away again then have her go off to "Retrieve you" and never come back.

>>49408
Have her meet you at the place where the dwarven weapons are stored. Since you have to go there anyway.

She's not to tell another soul about this, make that clear.

Freis 2009/09/22(Tue)18:45 No. 49431 ID: f6b265
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>>49409
This sounds like a good idea, they wouldn't suspect anything as quickly, as the bouncer (I should ask her name) has proven reliable before, so it'd probably buy us some time to unearth Brewbeard's cache of weapons too. She agrees to the plan, though we still need to set a time.. Broad daylight might be better, the town's security would likely be more relaxed, whereas the brothel will be busier at night, and easier to escape from while everyone's distracted with their.. customers.

>>49410
I tell her to meet at where the cache of weapons should be buried, not too far outside of town to the north, towards the mountains. It should be underneath some old stump shaped like a hammer striking the earth.. Sorta vague I guess, but I guess it's non-descript enough.

>>49431
>I should ask her name

...Then do it.

Day, it'll be harder to travel at night.

>>49460
And she'll be missed sooner at night.

Freis 2009/09/22(Tue)19:27 No. 49474 ID: f6b265
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>>49451
"Hotaru, yeesh, I'd have thought you'd have remembered it after the second time I dragged your ass back here."

>>49460
>>49468
Alrighty, day it is.. Probably should start getting ready now. Hotaru says she doesn't really have much in the way of possessions, since, her assets are naturally covered, and has little need for trinkets or clothing.. so she'll probably be ready before me, and'll be able to carry some stuff for me, if I ask nice.. still, should probably travel light at first.

>>49474
>Hotaru

That's a pretty masculine name for a pretty girl like her.

Don't say ANY of that in front of her.

>>49474
Welp, get everything together. Its time to get ready to leave.

Freis 2009/09/22(Tue)20:26 No. 49498 ID: f6b265
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>>49477

Is it? Though, I suppose that's a given..

>>49478
Right.. help me pick out some clothes for traveling..

>>49498
inb4 dress or gimp

inb4 pokequest

Suggestion 2009/09/22(Tue)20:42 No. 49504 ID: 43d730
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>>49498

Suggestion 2009/09/22(Tue)20:56 No. 49509 ID: 43d730
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>>49501
>>49500

Squeegy!OeZ2B20kbk 2009/09/22(Tue)21:09 No. 49513 ID: 64d98f
File 125367898942.png - (26.60KB , 600x600 , rubyelf.png )

>>49498
You are a herbivorous bunny girl!

Suggestion 2009/09/22(Tue)21:32 No. 49531 ID: f4963f
File 125368036330.gif - (61.91KB , 1125x450 , Freis_Assorted.gif )

Just a few suggestions.

>>49531
I like the third one.

>>49531
I like the third one.

Squeegy!OeZ2B20kbk 2009/09/22(Tue)21:46 No. 49542 ID: 64d98f
File 12536811957.png - (24.11KB , 600x600 , dappergentleman.png )

In more serious tones.

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/09/24(Thu)07:35 No. 50130 ID: f6b265
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>>49504

Something about this gives me an odd sense of foreboding.. something to do with a skull headed kobold.. I don't know where I'd get a sword and shield just lying about the brothel anyway.

>>49513

It's bad enough that old bat has forced me dress up as a girl before, I'll not do it myself for any reason! I.. though.. maybe the bunny ears could let me pass off as Hotaru's.. No, that's just stupid, my real ears would be too easily spotted, and I hardly want to become a rabbit either!

>>49531
>>49542

Again, there's no armor just a lying about, and I've not had any training to use it yet either.. you can't just throw on some armor and pray for the best, learning how to overcome possible encumberances with likely bad fitting dwarven armor would get me killed. Well, probably..

As for the other two, a simple cloak and tunic will be good for travel.. though, perhaps it wouldn't hurt to have some finery along for special occasions..

>>50130
Take both outfits, and lets get going already.

>>50130

Lookin' pretty classy there, Cele.

>>50130
Bring both. Cloak and tunic for travelling, dapper outfit for... well, you never know when you'll need to impress. <3

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/10/03(Sat)18:36 No. 56427 ID: f6b265
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>>50172
>>50174
>>50175

Right, I should be able to hide the clothes I packed under my cloak..
Now, currently on the third floor, where to?

I forget who's rooms are where, but here on the top floor, it's mostly reserved for the more well mannered and docile, 'innocent' girls. The room layout's a bit odd, the nicer girls up top with the more firey ones downstairs.. Probably that old bat's way of trying to make it seem like some sorta heaven and hell schtick. Hotaru would be guarding the hall way, but, we've already taken care of that, we've essentially got free run of the place. Most of the girls should be out of their rooms, since it's day, but you never know.

>>56427
Head to your room, see if there's anything worth taking with you.

>>56427
Search for the kitchen. You'll need to stea- I mean, 'borrow' some food for the two of you before you get your asses in gear, right?

Do you know any empty rooms with windows you can get out of?

Ask Hotaru which room belongs to whom. Being how she's worked there longer than you, she should know more about room ownership.

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/10/13(Tue)20:23 No. 64505 ID: f6b265
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>>56567

Nothing really too interesting.. I guess I could take the figurine Brewbeard made for me though for the hell of it.

>>56568

The Kitchen is on the first floor! We're on the third genius!

>>56797

Not mine at least, crazy bitch had it bricked over after the first time I tried to escape.

>>64455

I'm fairly sure she would've already gone ahead. Besides, room ownership changes every few weeks, I can't be arsed to keep up on it. She doesn't strike me as the type to bother either.

Check out the room across the stairs.

Check the drawers for anything else you might want to bring.

Hmm...What's on the other side of the room?

>>64505

Let's just go out the front door.

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/10/13(Tue)21:21 No. 64567 ID: f6b265
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>>64516

What the hell were you expecting?

The dark corner of your room is a brick wall? Alright whatever. Rummage through those drawers for something.

Number the rooms in any random order. Then pick 3

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/10/13(Tue)21:44 No. 64597 ID: f6b265
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>>64535

You know we're up on the third floor, right? That's all the way on the.. Oh, you know what?

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/10/13(Tue)21:45 No. 64598 ID: f6b265
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FUCK THIS BRICK WINDOW!!

I fucking ROFL. Hope you land safely there, little buddy.

>>64600
He's an elf, those fuckers are like cats.

Hiro!J02Ujjg4Nw 2009/10/13(Tue)22:05 No. 64616 ID: 1e1932
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>>64598

All according to plan.

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/10/14(Wed)00:48 No. 64659 ID: f6b265
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>>64600
>>64605

CRITICAL LAND FAILURE

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/10/14(Wed)00:48 No. 64660 ID: f6b265
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..Well, maybe not.

"..I don't remember this being part of the agreement.."

This is both awesome and horrible. You might pay for this with your thumbs.

"Well i mean you didnt have to catch me but uh....thank you"

>>64660
"It wasn't part of the plan. Not that hitting the ground face-first was the plan, either, but I didn't expect to fall on you."

Prepare for some pain, anyway.

"I just leapt out of a third story room, THROUGH a brick wall. You can't possibly think this was expected or intentional?

Although, thanks for breaking the fall."

>>64660

"I'm sure you would have opted for a softer landing too."