Wait... did the Lich set this up? We know he wants to off Chee, maybe the idea was to get her down here and set the artifact off.

>>334887
it ain't meta, it's SCIENCE about this weird chee dream thing plus if it's weird limited soul time travel, it's not meta. It's time travel. We have to test our limits which is that we cannot create a paradox! Besides, I'm less interested in changing time and more in having bitch Chee aware of nice Chee and seeing how she reacts, then whatever happens will happen because I'm curious what all this is, but first SCIENCE!

Until the nature of these dreams is truly revealed, I just can't stop. I have to make SCIENCE! And this is SCIENCE to test our limits!

>>334887
Dude's got a point. How can we ensure the survival of Derrick Duke, huh?
Ask Chee to at least check for anyone watching, scrying, listening in, or illusions or magical traps or something. Someone has to be watching, and for a treasure room it has to be trapped!

Suggestion 2011/08/01(Mon)00:44 No. 334900 ID: b6ca92
File 131218465260.jpg - (54.07KB , 400x400 , cavejohnson.jpg )

>>334894
>>334884
>SCIENCE!
>SOUL SCIENCE!
Suggester e3f578, I humbly request that you take up the name Cave Johnson and maintain your crusade of SCIENCE in all quests you participate in hereafter.

I've got the perfect plan that will get Duke out of this alive

Duke, break it. Chee's gonna break it anyway and learn whatever from it, which means she'll have an advantage over your lich. When you break it, he'll understand this was the lesser loss because we all know you can't take Chee on yourself and can't save it for him so the lich will give you mad props the the lesser loss. Just pretend your leaving then BAM push it right over the pedastal and get STRONG FORM like a Mini-godzilla thing and start smashing it.

Whatever man as long as we don't let this bitch gets what she wants because she's a spoiled brat.

1/4 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)00:51 No. 334903 ID: c811c4
File 131218506912.png - (15.00KB , 600x600 , 116.png )

>>334866
"Chee, you hate the liches, and I don't care much for them either. Would you-"
>"team up with you? Don't make me laugh!"

Well there's that.

>>334865
Good point!

I'm going to die at the hands of a lich if I go back! I doubt that he's going to believe I'm some kind of prophet with all this future hoo hah you guys are coming, even if you're right somehow! Anyways, I'll try to get answers for all of this!

"Well in that case, Chee, what happened to that other illusionist? How'd you get through the illusions so quickly?"
>"I'm under the lich king, he knows all about this dungeon's illusions! I just had to, as much as I hate it, call on him to help me through. The cocky bastard didn't even as why, he just chuckled and said anything to mess around with Lokirm!"
"Lokir- oh right this tower's lich."
>"Zombie brain still, I see. And as for that illusionist! Well, I found it alright. Why don't you ask your harlot?"
"Um... Minci?"

2/4 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)00:52 No. 334904 ID: c811c4
File 131218512275.png - (11.23KB , 600x600 , 117.png )

I need to hear this, before I start smashing the artifact! I'll keep a close eye on Chee, though.

>"Duke, um... I haven't really been entirely honest with you. I mean, yes, I did want to come down here, you know that, but... th-there's no other illusionist. All of that was me. I was the one that contacted Chee trying to play off her assassination, or tried to, but I ended up roping you in instead. I was hoping to get her to help me, since she's not loyal to Lokirm. But it turns out she wanted it for herself anyway, and I... well, setting my illusions at the main dungeon entrance, I tried to throw you off and still get Chee to go down and I would catch up. It got complex when you came down a second time, but I sensed you, and put up two illusions of Tili and Chee to accomplish that. Then you showed up to my door soon after, and, well, I figured I may as well ride with you, and see if Chee could get past everything.

...

>"The lich here tasked me with illusionistic defenses, along with a few others. Mixing our power, with years and years to spend on them, we were able to make the dungeon's illusions so powerful, yet no single one of us could permeate it with all of the other illusionist's work intermingling. That route we took was actually the safest. All that stalling I did... it was to get Chee to take care of the main defenses without having to tell you I was stringing you along.
"That doesn't make any sense! Why go through all the trouble of making it sound like there was an enemy?"
>"You must really hate me, now. I don't think that would work! Why would you have come with me, if you knew I was just going to destroy decades of the lich's work?"

3/4 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)00:52 No. 334905 ID: c811c4
File 131218517339.png - (9.06KB , 600x600 , 118.png )

"Because I love you."
>"But I didn't do any succubus magic on you to make you love me!"
"You may as well have. Didn't I tell you the love potion wouldn't work on me?"
>"I thought you were just being nice!"
"Nope."
>"..."

4/4 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)00:53 No. 334906 ID: c811c4
File 131218520737.png - (16.18KB , 600x600 , 119.png )

>"That's real sweet, lovebirds. I'm going to take the artifact now, and very likely puke on it too."

OH FUCK! GRAB MINCI AND LEAP OUT THE DOOR!

you could just leave the tower with the sucbus. I mean its not like you have any real loyalty to the litch's and no offense but your not a heavy hitter. so if you stay involved in this you are going to be way over your head.

>>334906
I think we should duck out of the room before she touches that thing. If she doesn't set off a million goddamn traps then we'll deal with her ourselves.

"Not if I puke on it first! Then break it because ffffffffuuuuuck learning, also your future soul says hi" to make her go wat
That's it, FOUR ARMED STRONGMAN DERRICK DUKE PLAN IS GOOOOOOOOOOOO
Just Grow another set of arms and make your skin thicker, reduced height and width if you have to keep your mass constant for quicker shifting or whatever, make skin thicker for better defense!

Your the final boss of this ungeon and not another motherfucker is gonna steal your spot. Not Chee, she ain't the final boss she's just a tiny bitch. YOU ARE BIG STRONG MAN DERRICK MOTHERFUCKING DUKE! ONE WINGED ANGEL!
Noli manere, manare in memoria
Noli manere, manare in memoria
Derrriiiiick, deeerick

tell Minci to summon illusion popcorn and eat it as you watch what happens.

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)01:13 No. 334912 ID: c811c4
File 131218642561.png - (13.78KB , 600x441 , 120.png )

>Dive out of the room!

"Minci! Let's leave. The lich might kill me for leaving, but still! We can leave, go and find a nice little place, and stay there."
>"DD, I'd love to, but I've spent years trying to find a way to stop this artifact from being used. And we're so close, we just have to destroy it. Please, Duke... let's fight Chee?"

.. i.. you have to try!

>>334912
...okay. Minci should delay Chee, and we go release all the monsters (assuming that we can cast Open Lock from a distance, or cast it rapidfire as we run from the far end of the place towards the entrance) then lead them here.

Alternatively you could have Minci throw up some mirror image illusion on you while you use super-speed and some dangerous form like a blade-armed tentacle demon...

>>334910
>>334910
Here's your theme music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_MW65XxS7s&feature=related

Alternatively, I misremembered your name as Dennis Duke, so here some DENNIS on the side.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBxVvA0-tOM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MdFVpIheNw

break it break it break it
grow two more arms and skinarmor and breeeeeak it

>>334912
Tell her that there's time travel shenanigans going on, and though you already know what's gonna happen you really would like to change things just enough so you survive to live and love another day.

[/spoiler]unless this is a bad idea? I think this bit of meta is justified, in that it may help with survivial.[/spoiler]

>>334912
Tell Minci to summon a solid illusion boot and kick Chee in the back of the head so she faceplants into the artifact, then RUN.

...actually, reverse that. RUN FIRST!
Also, tell Minci that your unlife is in her hands. You don't care what she wants, as long as you're high on the list.

>>334912
...Okay.

>>334921
Well guys, now we know where the Devourer came from!

1/2 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)01:49 No. 334923 ID: c811c4
File 131218855268.png - (8.09KB , 600x600 , 121.png )

"There might be time travel I'm being told, and I have an idea of what's going to happen, but I want you to live through this. I'll fight Chee myself. I don't know what you want, but I hope I'm kind of high on the list."
>"You're high enough that I'll make sure you live!"
"Awesome. I'm going ahead.
>"I'll give backup, illusions will start popping up, but you can ignore anything weird! Solid illusions take time for me, so try to make use of fake ones in her confusion!"
"Stay safe."

2/2 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)01:49 No. 334924 ID: c811c4
File 131218859957.png - (18.26KB , 600x600 , 122.png )

"We're not letting you through, Chee! I'll break your precious artifact, and you'll become my first meal!"

hey he looks kinda like... and he's about to... oh. oh shit.

>>334924
More tentacles! Moooooore! Entangle, smash, break, devour. Activate your Super Speed! You're gonna need it. We have no idea what Chee is capable of.

well. uhh. good. carry on, then.

Suggestion 2011/08/01(Mon)02:02 No. 334936 ID: 3c054e
File 131218933953.png - (27.65KB , 377x137 , fridgehorror.png )

>>334925
Oh.
Uh. Might I suggest devouring the artifact? You should do a lot of devouring.

>>334924
Be ready to duck if he throws something at you. Put your head into something really tough. Other than that just flail until you hit him.

>>334924
AAAAHHHH!!!
ABORT! ABORT! RUN AND LIVE! RUN AND LIVE!

>>334924
No! Turn into a bear! Activate super-speed! Open every lock in a five mile radius!

1/3 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)02:43 No. 334944 ID: c811c4
File 131219180058.png - (29.94KB , 600x600 , 123.png )

>INCREASING SPEED ON MINCI AND DUKE

Open lock is short range, and the monster would kill me as fas- what is Chee doing.

>"Incompetent messes! The Lich King gives me his power, whether I like it or not! You think you can beat him, through me?!"

2/3 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)02:44 No. 334946 ID: c811c4
File 131219186875.png - (27.27KB , 600x600 , 124.png )

Shit! I barely avoided getting completely beheaded even with the speed!
"Minci, where's that backu-?!"

>>334947
okay
now is the time to fuck time soul science
we're using normal soul science, use the artifact
Remember when you ate those communication orbs? I think you know what to do. That's how you use it... as far as we're concerned now. As long as Chee never gets it.

>>334947
Surrender on the condition that you can leave here without further injury!

>>334947
Looks like nonlethal wounds, but she's out of action and stuck to the wall. It's just you vs Chee who is SUPERPOWERED.

However, Chee has dropped the artifact. So grab it. Try to use it, it's your only chance.

...OH! PUKE ON THE ARTIFACT!

Eat the magic. Eat all of the magic.

>>334947
NONONONONONO FUCK THE ARTIFACT SAVE HER

>>334953

How? That just brings us to the problem of beating a superpowered kobold again.

Clearly the best way to enable that is to devour the artifact. It totally works that way.

1/2 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)03:05 No. 334955 ID: c811c4
File 131219313808.png - (16.85KB , 600x600 , 126.png )

>>334954
>>334952
>>334948
>>334921

>SO HUNGRY

"CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>"It's like you move in slow motion! You call that a speed spell?!"
>"DD! Run! I'm so sorry, just get out of here!"

2/2 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)03:05 No. 334956 ID: c811c4
File 131219315449.png - (7.56KB , 600x600 , 127.png )

GULP

... ...
... ...
... ...

Nothing's happening. Sure feels funny, though.

>>334956
Oh my.

Uh. Try to get it a bit further down, I think it's stuck in your throat.

Then... I'm thinking... well, it's a soul manipulation device thing. Try eating a soul. Chee's, to be specific.

>>334956
SAVE MINCI!
Forget everything else!
JUST. SAVE. MINCI!

...okay, you have retrieved the device. grab Minci and make like a banana.

MINCI NO, HANG ON!

>>334956
Turn into a crocodile and save Minci.

1/4 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)03:51 No. 334971 ID: c811c4
File 131219587038.png - (9.47KB , 600x600 , 128.png )

"Minci! I'm coming, we're leaving!"
>"Leave me, you don't deserve this! I mean it, please!!"

>"Hahahaha! Oh my god, you actually ate it?! I'll just have to dissect you! Oh my god, this is hilarious! Well, that's the end of the road! You honestly think you can outrun me with a broken hussy?! I'm going t-"

2/4 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)03:51 No. 334972 ID: c811c4
File 131219588217.png - (7.44KB , 600x600 , 129.png )

>"Where's my magic. Lich King. My magic. Your magic, whatever. I need it. Now. You're not giving it to me, are you. Are you?!

3/4 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)03:53 No. 334975 ID: c811c4
File 131219603749.png - (9.70KB , 600x600 , 130.png )

>"You think this is fucking hilarious, don't you?! They're going to kill me now, you god damned maniac! You set me on a god damned pedestal so high I can't see the fuckin' ground, only to yank it out from underneath me at the worst imaginable point, you excreted sack of decrepit shitbones?! Don't fucking share your laughter in my head, now!!"

4/4 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)03:54 No. 334976 ID: c811c4
File 131219604917.png - (13.62KB , 600x600 , 131.png )

>"I'm having trouble standing, DD... that attack sucked a lot of my energy."
"It's fine, just lean on me!"

Oh... oh, man... what do we do?

Make her even more wrong by letting her live.

Tell her off. Tell her she is a spoiled bitch. then leave.

>>334976
"Oy! Chee! Boss said it hadta look accidental, so if king's in yer head we dun gotta kill ya. If ya patch Minci up I'll buy ya a drink."

Let Minci have some of your energy since she needs it more. Also, how about you turn into something she can ride so she doesn't need to spend energy walking.

>>334976
She'll probably chase you while trying to convince the Lich King to give her power.

Right now your duty is to report what happened to Lokirm, and to keep Minci alive. Actually killing Chee is probably impossible since the Lich King will boost her just enough to keep her from dying while also fucking with her.

Optimally we'd want Minci to fool Chee into thinking we've shapeshifted and are running away. Lead her off into a different corridor then... escape, somehow.

On the other hand, you just ate an artifact that's supposed to be incredibly powerful, and Minci researched it. Ask her how to activate it. Maybe we can surprise the Lich King and/or Chee with whatever we manage to do with the thing.

1/2 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)04:30 No. 334984 ID: c811c4
File 131219822218.png - (1.10KB , 600x600 , 132.png )

Oh, yeah. I barely even remember our lich wanted Chee dead! I can't even care about that. I wasn't even tasked with it, just to unearth the traitor, and with the artifact, this wasn't a failure for me. Oh, Minci... well, there's no reason for the Lich to know about her. I'll put the blame on Chee, somehow. We'll take our leave then. I just hope the lich lets me, being under his power.

"Hey Chee! We're leaving you alive! Consider yourself lucky, you spoiled bitch!"

Minci throws a few illusions around, and we lose Chee, leaving her to her devices. She's hurt, but medical attention isn't desperate, she's tougher than that. It takes awhile to get out, but in a daze, we're able to break through.

2/2 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)04:31 No. 334985 ID: c811c4
File 131219829625.png - (12.04KB , 600x600 , 133.png )

It's the next morning. I'm going to visit Minci.

"How are you, Minci?"
>"I'm well! My energy is back, and my wounds are healing nicely!"
"Good! Say, do you know how to activate the artifact?"
>"I'm sorry, I don't. You probably shouldn't though, it's very unstable. There's no telling what'll happen, but we'll get it out of you! After all, you're a zombie, there's nothing hard about dissecting you. You should go, Duke."
"Why?"
>"Well, the Lich really does suspect me, I was forbidden to go into the dungeon. We got the artifact safely back, so he hasn't done anything to me yet, waiting for me to recover before he decides on a punishment. Still.. you shouldn't associate with me. But, DD... thank you!"

>>334985
Wrap your arms around her and give her a big kiss!
"The smart thing wouldn'ta brought us together; I'm tossin' my lot in with yours."

>>334985
Start trying to digest the artifact thingy.

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)04:53 No. 334988 ID: c811c4
File 131219963165.png - (8.94KB , 600x600 , 134.png )

>>334986
Let me send you guys a mental image quick that I like to call my privacy.

>"Hee! You're really heavy, you know!"
"Hey, I take offense to that!"

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)04:54 No. 334989 ID: c811c4
File 131219964625.png - (8.24KB , 600x600 , 135.png )

HICCUP

>"Heheh! I gave you the hiccups, huh?"

...

>"Uh, DD?"

>>334989
Get off the bed.
Run to the corner of the room.
Curl up in a ball.
Say "Magic gone bad. Keep back."

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)04:58 No. 334991 ID: c811c4
File 131219993859.png - (7.23KB , 416x540 , 136.png )

Meanwhile, in Duke's stomach.

>HICCUP

FWOOMF

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)05:00 No. 334994 ID: c811c4
File 131220004357.png - (8.38KB , 416x540 , 137.png )

I-I can't move...

>HICCUP

FWOOMF

>>334993
NOPE
NOPE
NOPE
NOPE

GET TO MINIMUM SAFE DISTANCE! RUN TO LICHBOSS!
DO NOT LET MINCI BE NEAR THE DESTABILIZING SOUL VACUUM!

>>334994
Then say "run"!

>>334994
Say that you don't feel so well and then hilariously explode.

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)05:12 No. 334998 ID: c811c4
File 131220077414.png - (14.26KB , 600x600 , 138.png )

With great effort, I'm able to move myself to the window.

"Minci. Run."
>"..I- if you say so, I won't question it! I'll go, just be alright!"

I'm going to hiccup... I won't be able to stop this one.

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)05:14 No. 334999 ID: c811c4
File 131220089663.png - (12.58KB , 416x540 , 139.png )

>HICCUP

FWOOOOOMF

...Uh oh.

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)05:22 No. 335001 ID: c811c4
File 131220133807.png - (20.85KB , 600x600 , 140.png )

AW

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)05:26 No. 335002 ID: c811c4
File 131220158907.png - (13.91KB , 600x600 , 141.png )

YEAHHHH

I'm huuuuge!

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)05:34 No. 335003 ID: c811c4
File 131220204489.png - (13.03KB , 600x600 , 142.png )

What the heck? I can.. it's weird, I can taste you guys! Creepy I know, but you guys are delicious!

>"Duke?!"

Hey, is that...

>>335003
You are huge and in love with Minci.
Protect her.
Love her.
Keep her safe.
No matter what else happens, this is something you must do. This is the task we bind you to.

Your nickname is now Tom. There will come a point in the future we will ask you to lead us to Minci, and you will do so. The consequences for failure are beyond your comprehension.

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)05:45 No. 335005 ID: c811c4
File 131220271563.png - (11.84KB , 600x600 , 143.png )

"Minci! You're okay!"

>H-How can we get you back?!

"No idea! I'll think about it later, but I haven't eaten yet! In fact, I haven't eaten anything edible ever! And I'm really hungry."

"Hungry for souls."

>>335004
Everything in this post.

Are we gonna eat her soul?

>>335007
No.

>>335007
Maybe later

Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)05:58 No. 335010 ID: c811c4
File 131220351353.png - (10.88KB , 600x600 , 144.png )

"But don't worry, not yours! If the Lich had any power over me, it's broken now. I'll help you run, you can hideaway, I'll come back someday, somehow, to find you after I've changed back!"
>"You promise...?
"I double zombie promise! Someday, but man, I am hungry, and I gotta get outta here before I go do something I regret!"
>"O-o-okay, then! You better keep it, or I'll really take ALL your souls next time! Goodbye, Duke..."

INTERMISSION 2 - BIRTH OF THE DEVOURER : END Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)06:08 No. 335011 ID: c811c4
File 131220408517.png - (6.91KB , 329x469 , 145.png )

Haha, sorry you guys, you probably didn't need to see that!

"It's not goodbye, Minci. We're going to have a lot of fun later! See ya!"

WAIT, ASK HER WHERE SHE'S GONNA HIDE.

1/2 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)06:20 No. 335013 ID: c811c4
File 131220481425.png - (9.13KB , 600x600 , 146.png )

"Oh my gosh! Tom! I was a real... a real..."

>>335011
Keep track of where she hides! Always know where she is!

2/2 Derrick Duke 2011/08/01(Mon)06:22 No. 335016 ID: c811c4
File 131220497972.png - (11.72KB , 600x600 , 147.png )

>"Bitch? Haha, don't worry about it. A lot's happened since then, and I don't hold it against you! But now that you know, if we could fetch Minci, that would be grand. You have more to worry about than my love life or your past, so get back to sleep. We have a lich to destroy!"

EPILOGUE : END

>>335016
I wonder if we can send JUST Duke over to her...
Medium-term project: Swapping Duke's soul's place as the 'body' of the devourer with somebody else's, and making him a new body exactly like his old one only better.

TOM IS BEST CHARACTER
TWICE

Could someone explain to me just HOW THE FUCK did Lagotrope manage to swing things around like this? I mean, seriously, it was like he was predicting our every thought before he even made this intermission.

So.... do we call him Tom or Duke now?

soulless zombies are dumb. make a HUGE pit and put an illusion over it and they will just try to walk across and fall in the pit.

>>335041
Supporting this plan.

>>333679
Hey Tom, remember this?
>-A... note, asking to call someone with the accompanying rune alignment. I don't remember where I got this, odd. Too bad I dropped the orb!

DERRICK DUKE IS BEST DUKE

>>335041
Add spikes too. Because why the fuck not?

>>335040
Derrick 'Tom' Duke, the Devourer.

>>335039
Like I said in >>/questdis/350787, we figured out very early on that Duke is Tom, and from that point on we were deliberately aiming for this. Lagotrope didn't really ha
>>335055
HOLY SHIT Lagotrope confirmed for time traveler

>>335016
You know, getting your love life back on track as it is now would be really fucking creepy.

>>335105
Only if he tries to show his affection for Minci through Chee.