2/3 Clamp 2011/07/23(Sat)16:34 No. 330242 ID: c811c4
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SHUNKA

>"Awhhh come on! I don't remember including sucking swords as part of your training regimen!"

3/3 Clamp 2011/07/23(Sat)16:34 No. 330243 ID: c811c4
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>"Alright Chump Chief, so you can fight a little. Let's play a little game of 'What are you gonna do about it?' Since I knew they were traitors, they're locked down in the back of our camp by much of our force that isn't tanglin' the humans. Your friends aren't dead, yet! My bro's have been given the order to simply pin them in a standoff. And here's the game! If I'm not back alive within 10 minutes, they're ordered to kill them all! And it's been about 6, and it's a three minute run to 'em. Remember, I have to be alive! But I'm sure as hell gonna try an' kill you! So! I'll give ya 5 seconds ta think about it, Chief of Brain Density! What are you going to do about it?!"

>>330241
Cut off his hands. He'll be alive, but hopefully much less of a jackass.

>>330244
Yes. Cut off his hands, and carry him back into the camp.

What you're going to do is get there before the time is up and kill them first. If he's there it isn't like he'd spare them if got there and lived. Charge him with your shield, bash him if you can but just keep running. No need for cute lines just fucking run.

>>330241
"So you've got your men surrounding your men. Brilliant."
Bash him with the flat of your sword, then haul him to the back of camp at a dead run. Tell them he's alive - for now.

If he really thinks they're traitors then he's planning on killing them anyway - IF he hasn't done so already. The stringent time limit and the distance are supposed to put you under pressure. If he meant a word of it he would have brought at least one of them to give his claims credence.

>>330243
Smash his head in, throw him over your shoulder, and run full tilt back to the camp. He'll be back alive, and you'll be the new chief since you beat him in single combat. How's that for following orders?

>>330243
You're going to ignore that and kill him because trickster whose minions just got slaughtered, duh.

Just break his back in a way that does not kill him.

he's either lying about sparing your men if you you don't kill him or lying about having your men bottled up. kill the crap out of him.

I agree that this calls upon some bodily mutilation.

I think this calls for a hands-off kind of an approach. Employ your cutting wit so we can loosen his grip on the situation.

>>330243
He's probably one of those quick and agile little fucks. Try to pin him and break his fucking legs, then run to the camp, tell them to surrender or they're about to join their chief in being dead crazy gnolls.

Kill him and drag his body with you. When they see you've got him dead, you can tell them "I don't care what he told you. If you kill my friends now, you die like he has." I mean, really, if he's dead, why would they continue to follow his orders?

Rip his vocal cords out so that he can never troll again.

yeah I'm gonna support breaking his limbs

>>330243
First Rule of FUCK YOU:

"Alive" doesn't always mean "capable of speaking".

Take his tongue. Then take what's left to his camp.

Say you call his bluff, gnolls have neither clocks nor a decent sense of time.

Just kill him, he's either bluffing or lying and there's nothing you can do about it either way.

If you kill him fast, you can rush and see for yourself.

I'm serious when I say that the other gnolls aren't going to sacrifice their own lives in order to follow the order of a dead man. If you show them his head, they know that they have two options. They can follow the guy's last order and try to kill your friends, in which case they KNOW they will die, or they can NOT follow the order, in which case they might live.

1/3 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)00:23 No. 330505 ID: c811c4
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>>330281
>Cutting wit.
Ain't none of that in me. I got a cuttin' sword.

Gonna slice this looney! Ain't gonna pull my punches either, he dies, I'll work with it, I manage to take off a limb or break somethin', I'll work with him "alive."

>"Kah! Attacking me anyway?! Nervy or stupid! The two you killed showed me how you fight, and you are slow!"

2/3 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)00:24 No. 330506 ID: c811c4
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>"C'mon c'mon c'mon, smile or something, grandpa! One on one fight, isn't that what you wanted?! You should be loving this! You call yourself a Chief?!"

God damn, he looked like he was an agile type, but he's practically a blur here!

3/3 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)00:27 No. 330508 ID: c811c4
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This ain't gonna be nearly as easy as it should be, the guy ain't some bungling log of a fighter!

>"Yer not enjoying yourself at all, here! I was told ya simply became chief cause of desperate situations, but come on! You thinkin to take my position?! I hope not, you're no clan leader! No gnolls here are gonna follow a Chief that hates fightin' as much as you, bringin' his human buddies to do the dirty work!"

>>330507
His face is within biting distance.

Alternatively you could clamp down his sword under your sword arm, and use that immobilization to grab him. Then he's yours.

Also, you may as well tell him that's fine, you don't wanna be chief after you get the tribe out of the fire.

Okay he's in a PERFECT position for you. Thrust forward with your body AND thrust both arms forward, then bend the elbows and lock his arms to the sides, then give him THE CLAMPS!

What is he talking about this is GLORIOUS BATTLE, this is what a Gnoll wants and your getting it, so what if you got human back-up, you can still get your kill on
And we got promises to keep too, so back-up is needed. Your Clamp The Gnoll, Not just The Gnoll. PArt Clamp, Part Gnoll. Part violence, part promises. And are you gonna let a Chump like this stop you from being motherfucking Clamp? No your gonna go for the legs, using your legs. Trip the bastard, he's too busy looking at your arms and weapons to know what you're doing with your feet.

Your teeth, his neck, KERCHUNKA!

>>330518
Yes! Go KERCHUNKA him until he is the dead!

Remember that time where you fucking bit a harpy that stabbed the dagger in your neck? Do it again.

>>330520
Except he should stay conscious afterwards.

remember back at the castle when you took a big bite out of a wooden table? his neck is weaker than wood.

1/5 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)01:40 No. 330525 ID: c811c4
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>"Your move, gramps! Show me what you got! Bet ya my life if ya make a move, you die!"

2/5 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)01:41 No. 330526 ID: c811c4
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He's fast. Too damn fast to try n' bite, I know that much. No mobility for that or any legs. Never was good at the footwork. But I ain't lettin' him get away!

3/5 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)01:42 No. 330527 ID: c811c4
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"Got hi-"

>"Kahaaa! My name ain't Wind for nothin'!"

4/5 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)01:43 No. 330528 ID: c811c4
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He... his arm cleared my shield, an' I didn't even see...

>"What do they call you, huh? Lumberer? Musclebrain?! Or did yer mother not even love ya enough to think of anythin' appropriate to say in public?!"

5/5 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)01:50 No. 330531 ID: c811c4
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>>329981
>>329163

LIKE HELL!

"They call me
CLAMP!"

>"Wha-"

KERSNAP

>Clamp.

GIVE 'IM THA CLAAAAAAMPS!

>>330531
You'd better not die, dammit.

Drag him by the neck over to the camp where everyone's fighting. You need to find a medic, seriously.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA--oh dear severe chest wound.

Hold him high with a hand and let the other gnolls know you have slain their leader... Let them surrender to you.

Leave sword in so you dont bleed to death.

Eat his flesh! (Do not actually eat his flesh. Instead go do whatever it is you need to do to not die or something.)

>>330531
Ouch, that one has to be painful. But since you insist on not wearing any sort of armour I'm guessint this might not be the first time, getting back to the camp on time might be difficult now though. Time to show everyone why Gnolls are badass, sling him over your shoulder and run to the camp.

If we're planning on leaving him alive, pull his arms out of the shoulder sockets too while you're at it, you only paralysed him from about the waist down.

you aren't allowed to die, Clamp. if you die now, you'll be in a world of shit.

MEEEEEEEEEDIIIIIIIIIIIIC!

DEATH HUG DEPLOYED!
But yes, pulling the sword out now would likely cause too much bleeding.

>>330528

It's only a grievous sword-wound. You'll be fiiiiiine~

I'm hoping that wound is too high to get the heart, but from the looks of it it might have hit a lung. Not entirely sure how gnolls have their organs arranged.

Rip off his damn head and start running, you need to take control of what is left of his clan. They don't have to do what he said if he ain't the boss, but you need to get there before they follow his orders.

1/7 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)14:42 No. 330656 ID: c811c4
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He's harmless without the swords.

Ain't gonna lie. I think he got my lung. Could be worse. Doesn't matter anymore, I gotta get to the fight. Chiefs' change like one changes clothes, I'm not thinkin' this one gained loyalty beyond death.

3/7 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)14:42 No. 330658 ID: c811c4
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>"The chief is dead! The chief is dead!"
>"Fall back!"


>"Clamp?! Hey, he's over here, help him!"
Heh, sounds like Sholkus already came.

Good, clans' backin' down, Captn' should get 'im to surrender. Didn't plan on this, but it's lookin' like it's alright. Sholkus can get to cure that pup, and take 'im off to a good home. Ain't feelin' like I'm gonna be so lucky, but I don't care about it.

4/7 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)14:43 No. 330660 ID: c811c4
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Promise fulfilled.

7/7 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)14:44 No. 330664 ID: c811c4
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... I'm not dead.

i see. looks like at least one person likes you enough to save you.

Nope, life ain't going to let you off the hook that easy. Don't try to move you need your rest, but try to talk and get someone in here we need to know what the hell has gone down.

>>330664
Look around, see if you can get someone's attention. Ask for an update on what's happening.

Doing well for a guy who run through. You are alive (if wounded), and you don't even look tied up, so whoever healed you probably likes you.

That's the great thing about lungs. You've got something like five separate lobes! And being a gnoll, I don't know, you probably have like eleven spares.

Of course you aren't dead, you're a hero.

Heroes don't get off the hook that easy.

>>330664
What, you thought that would be enough to kill you? Hehehehe, fate isn't done with you yet. There is a pup in need of your training and guidance among other things. You also need to lead your people into a brigther tomorrow, best chiefs are the ones that don't want the position.

>>330664
Yea, you're alive. Don't look so pissed about it.
Seems like you've got loyalty on your side; that'll make the rest of this so much easier.

Find out how long you've been out and what's happened since then. See if the Gnoll Essence fixed the pup's impending Gnoll Blight death.

Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)15:39 No. 330717 ID: c811c4
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>>330666
Hah, that's a surprise.

I ain't a hero, though. Just lookin' after all I had left.

"Hey! Anyone 'round?"
>"Ah, you're up, finally."
"Where's the pup?!"
>"Paint me impressed, first thing you do when you wake up from a near mortal wound is ask 'bout a baby kobold. She's fine. Also, it seems you killed our old chief. By the ridiculous laws that be, you are the new one."
"Can you take care of the kid?"
>"Of course, that's what I do around here. Leave the pup's care to me, for now, everyone's waiting, and some runts are getting antsy to make themselves chief. You should eat, too. You've been out for nearly a day."

holy mother of mammeries!..
i mean, yes, can you sit up? eat a thing if you can find one.

>>330717
FOOD?! WHERE?

What other ways can Chief status be transferred? You can probably beat the shit out of anyone challenging you but you've said you don't really want to be Chief. So if we can give it up without dying that'd work out well for you.

>>330717
...Keep impressing this one. I like her.

Ok so Chief, lets ask details about how the battle went down since we missed most of it. And what become of the humans. Between your very large mouthfulls of food of course.

She's kind of cute, if ridiculously busty. Well anyway, time to get better, which means EATING, and then once you're well it's time to beat down any and all challengers. Plus make certain your deal with the humans is still solid.

she must be the matriach or what have you. does that make her the mate of the chief..? ah, perhaps you shouldn't ask her that. for now, eat, check on your allies, and beat up some cocky younglings.

Eat. Enforce your authority. Keep being bad ass.

First things first, issue the order stopping attacks on the humans. You agreed to that, and if you want the land claim to remain valid they need to abide by it.

>>330732
Good life advice, those.

>>330738
I guess that one's kind of important too.

Also make sure that the bold kid has taken the potion or otherwise been cured.

>>330717
NOW you can think about steak

Oh great. >_>

Yeah go eat something C-man, doctor's orders. X3

>>330732

1/7 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)18:01 No. 330832 ID: c811c4
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Yeah, most woman in a clan are just as much warriors as the guys, and it doesn't do a womanly figure much favors. So when there's a girl that doesn't have to follow that life... doesn't matter right now, I got more important things to worry about than hookin' up.

The matters of how a chief becomes chief varies a bit from clan to clan. Rare to see a Chief live long before a stronger guy takes the mantle.

"I don' really wanna be Chief. Ain't my thing. Who else can be Chief around here?"
>"No one, and don't you dare back out of this. You saw the scrawny dick that got in charge, and that was the only guy who could keep the clan from falling apart. Everyone else is run of the mill, and you are going to be the Chief whether you like it or not!"

Gah, I ain't arguin' about this right now.
"Where are the humans?"
>"Their leader said as long as your Chief, another reason why you don't have a choice, they'll most likely honor some contract they made with you. They've already left, but they'll keep in contact now and again. Now, anything else, or are you going to make me carry you to eat?"

2/7 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)18:01 No. 330833 ID: c811c4
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"No."
>"Egh, it's a good thing your fight with Wind wasn't a battle of manners! Being Chief isn't a speed eating contest!"
"Yeah yeah. You said somethin' about runts acting up? I'll deal with 'em. You said the pup's fine? I wanna see it after dealin' with the upstarts."

3/7 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)18:02 No. 330835 ID: c811c4
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"So, you guys wanna challenge me, huh?"
>"Uh, you know what, I think we're good.
>"Yeah. We're with ya, Chief."

Off to see the pup, then.

4/7 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)18:03 No. 330836 ID: c811c4
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"The pup?"
>"She's okay, boss! Looks a little different, but real healthy!"
"Alright. Gonna keep 'er around here for awhile, she'll be taken care of, but eventually she's gotta go live with a proper kobold home when she's sure to be good enough to travel."
>"What's her name?"
"Never decided. Think I'll go with the mothers' though, in good memory of my late friend, the pup's father."

5/7 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)18:03 No. 330838 ID: c811c4
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"Her name's Shabin."

6/7 Clamp 2011/07/24(Sun)18:04 No. 330840 ID: c811c4
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And here I am, sucked into bein' Chief. Given the nature of the human contract, I really dunno if it'll hold. That's for another time though, plenty of work to be done here before I start worryin' about stuff like that.

Even after the casualties, this clan is larger than I've ever seen. Crazy as Wind was, he seemed to know a thing or two about management. Actually some dedicated blacksmiths and workers along with the matron, with a decent infrastructure beyond "smash raid kill." He set up this camp to expand gnoll territory beyond just a simple nomadic clan, looks like.

Important thing is the kid is good, and I'll make sure she's raised tough enough to hold her own.

As for me... well, I just gotta keep on survivin'.

7/7 Cheelop 2011/07/24(Sun)18:05 No. 330841 ID: c811c4
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Oh, my! That wasn't just a silly dream, was it...

CheeQuest Intermission 1 : End

nope. you better seek help from this guy, Chee. he's got invincible balls of steel, and they're big enough to provide you with full cover.

The question is, why were we able to see it?

I think that Clamp is one of the souls inside you, Chee. Maybe if you get good enough at soul manipulation, you can single him out and send him to Shabin. That would be a touching gift, I think.

I don't think that was just a dream. could be something piced together from bits of memory from the souls

>>330845
That is the most likely, but it is also possible that he was in the (quite wide by the looks of it) area when Tom went out of control, and we got some of his memories.

...

Oh.


*tosses theory out the window*

If we have Clamp's soul then we should be epic at physical combat. =/

>>330855
It could just be that Chee has the body of a tiny cobold kid, and that Chop is, well, Chop.

Aaaaand we're back to the soul-stealing monstrosity. Ah well, it was nice while it lasted. I'll raise a glass to you, Clamp

>>330841
I knew it! I knew this was a CheeQuest thing!
I KNEW IT

Also, that explains everything.

...wow, didn't see that coming. o.o

And the moral of the story is that love potions are amazingly applicable weapons and tools.
Let's go buy an arsenal from the alchemist.

>>331054
Whoa whoa whoa, where the heck do you get that? That's absolutely terrible. Love potions are the most evil thing imaginable. The kobold may have used it to avoid enslavement and things may have turned out 'well' in the end, but what is enslavement of the body when compared to enslavement of the mind and free will? A physical slave can only be forced to do so much, but a slave of the mind as one would be under the influence of the love potion (even temporarily) has essentially lost their mind and free will and would do everything in their power for the holder of their leash, including betraying all their friends and ideals they might have so firmly believed in before the enchantment took effect. It cannot be argued for it to be anything other than evil, and YES I'm taking this too seriously.

A love potion is evil if used for evil. Just like a sword or a bucket of water can be. A sword you kill a hundred people with is more evil than a love potion you use to save lives, by (just as an example) making a rampaging racist paladin fall in love with you so he doesn't kill your whole town! And you could, like, drown someone with a bucket of water I guess. If they held still.
C'mon now, this sort of argument has been retreaded countless times. Potential for evil use does not make something evil.

>>331073
We should PROBABLY move such philosophical/ethical discussion to a discussion thread, so this will be MY last contribution here. A sword or other weapon (as the ones that exist in the mundane world) can only rob you of your life, but magical things that can enchant you and take your mind and free will robs you of your very character and ideals. Nothing mundane can truly take away your ideals, your morals, those things that dwell in your heart of hearts, but magic such as the love potion can cause you to sacrifice all that you believe in on a whim, and thus *I* believe that the potential misuse (and to an extent all use would be 'a misuse') of such things ought to justify their being prohibited.

You know the thing that freaks me out? Not whether he's a soul inside us or not but the fact that we helped him in some weird time paradox thing.

Chee bro, we can go back in fucking time and change minor events! I bet you before our little fiasco the gnolls ended up in a lot more chaotic situation than how we solved it. Orrr we exisisted in some form long ago besides you and totally helped that guy and we exist nonlinearly...

Chee have we ever told you about the future in the past before when this necromancer chaos started? Back when you were just the old unskilled you? It totally explains why we never got you to flirt with others, we just gave up or were shipping you with some smuck in the future and knew we couldn't perma change events!