>>273396
Yes. The troll will be the final addition to our troops.
If it's some pale, skinny virgin, he can be our computer expert or something.

Agent Smeth 2011/01/21(Fri)11:24 No. 273413 ID: f604d6
File 129563787676.png - (15.41KB , 870x540 , npdt0250.png )

My sources tell me there is one Doctor Tarp N., PhD, who is interested in being hired. Demands monthly payment in, and I quote, "20 candelas of magnets and 5 tungsten carbides".

>>273413
wtf kind of toxic materials are you eating now

Jesus Christ

Agent Smeth 2011/01/21(Fri)12:16 No. 273424 ID: f604d6
File 129564096254.png - (15.52KB , 870x540 , npdt0251.png )

These are glowsticks, they're non-toxic and I'm not eating them.

On a related note, have you come up with some great plan yet? It's OK if you haven't, I'm just curious.

>>273413

What's the phd in? Let's check credentials before we start paying out esoteric materials requests.

>>273426
you must be kinda bored, huh.

I think a solid plan amidst all the sexual hijinks going on at base would be to fit the frontliners with the body armor and frags, get a second jeep so we can carry more people to the battle, buy some smoke and flashbangs as well to disorient the demons coming through who DO seem to know what they are doing, capture and collect all their gear, sell demon's gear for extra cash.
Is there anyone that DOES know how much money we have left or is it really not that big of an issue?

>>273426
We're sorta stuck in a reactionary role and there IS a long list of things we've been trying to get done... We've got potential new hires to vet, we've planned out a series of purchases and we STILL have gotten absolutely no information from the captives other than "Cannot keep up with Ka's sexual appetites."

Until they arrive, could you just trot our the red tart and let us interview her directly? We'd also like to question our "expert." Our influence on the team seems... Difficult to enforce, so I doubt we can get Ka pried off her boytoys cock long enough for us to get any answers out of him. Speaking of which, is she actually doing any WORK?

Oh, and to add to the list of purchases: Get Lick some fucking hearing aids.

>>273439
This.

Oh, also, ditch Thor. All he has is a machinegun and he molested Skalfak.

>>273439
This.

>>273454
Can we shoot him?

Van Misbruik 2011/01/21(Fri)14:07 No. 273475 ID: f604d6
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I have interrogated both prisoners.

Two things have become obvious:
One, the old books and legends are either obsolete or they were always pure fiction.
Two, these two fockers know nothing. Their world is their respektive little shit towns, the strongest bullies are their respektive local autorities and the only higher autority they know is Satan, with nothing in between - as far as they know.

>>273475
That's actually pretty damn close to the biblical description, if somewhat more modern.

>>273475
huh
maybe we should try just talking too them maybe over tea?
You know what they say, you attract more flies with honey than with...sex.

>>273475
Thank you. Unfortunately, this is bad news for everyone, especially you. You just turned from an extremely knowledgeable and potentially highly useful academic into the possessor a, uh... Historical fiction degree. Given the circumstances- and especially the budget- I'm afraid we can't afford to keep you. Rather, we don't even know if we can afford to keep you. I'd love to give you a generous consultancy fee, but, again...

If you'd like to stay pro bono I'd love to have you. I see you're enjoying the fringe benefits, you can continue with that. We certainty can't seem to stop any of you. If you do so, could try making a profit off of it? We'll offer you 100% of the net profits after the current situation is resolved.

>>273454
>>273473

Keep Thor. He's still a kid, but he was one of the ones who helped recover Skalfak in the first place, and his weapon skills are needed for a squad support role.

>>273475
Peons, as suspected. Probing attacks, meant to test our responses, and get us to lower our guard. Obviously, while the present distractions to multiple members of the team... I feel kinda sorry for them. They were either forced or tricked into crossing over.

I wonder... are they okay hanging out in human land? Perhaps they could make good zealots missionaries. Tell their fellow demons how humanity is alright, and its much more fun to work with the humans than conquer them. Or perhaps have them spread word of how badass humanity is. I mean, we're holding off an invasion of this entire city with less than a dozen people. Granted, we haven't faced that many demons, but there are a whole shitton of people in the world over here.

>>273475
So they're useless then. Kill them or sell them into slavery.

Van Misbruik 2011/01/21(Fri)14:45 No. 273486 ID: f604d6
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Not peons. Just civilians.

"Stop squirming."

They say they weren't doing any work. Just school.

"You're not getting away."

Like some sort of joke high school where the bullies hang out and teachers do little more than talk to themselves and scrawl shit on the bleckboard.

"Resistance is futile."

From their descriptions alone you'd think they were thrown through just because the bullies happened to be holding them and came across a portal by chance.

"Stop focking fighting or it goes right in the ass."

Which would mean they didn't even make their own portals. Which raises even more questions regarding the seemingly organized attack.

"I know you feel this."

>>273486
So they are essentially just anime demon kids who fell through the wrong portal at the wrong time.

Hey, Sister, I had an idea for some income for the base.
Get Ka, Esasmus, the squirt machinegunner, yourself and those demon kids and make some sexy videos, set up a pay website and make it bi-lingual for Japan and America. Fuckin' weeaboo kids and 40 year old basement dwellers in both countries will pay top dollar for this shit, mos def.

>>273486
Could be that only the guppies get sucked into portals, while the bigger ones don't need to enter through a portal to influence this world.
Also you missed
"You set us up the bomb?"

>>273487
Are you proposing smut films? That is incredibly stupid.

What you do is you start with pin-up poster you release for free. Then open a subscription process that allows for less clothed images and then make the ultimatum that when we have *this many* subscribers we will release sexy stuff. Each time you get a good number of additional subscribers you release more sexy stuff.

>>273493
Yes! This! Also, it's TOPICAL since a demon invasion might be a big fucking deal?

>>273499
Now is a quest discus. Knock out self.

Skalfak 2011/01/21(Fri)16:45 No. 273507 ID: f604d6
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Ka and Lick want to show off something they've made and we need to plan ahead so we don't run out of funds or otherwise shoot ourselves in the dick. We've got a lot of mail order stuff and recruits en route and I don't want to get surprised by a portal attack again.

>>273507
Well then lets see what they have. I bet it's something that blows up spectacularly.

Skalfak 2011/01/21(Fri)17:13 No. 273511 ID: f604d6
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"It's basic'ly jist a regular high-power spud gun, but for ammo I use seefore onna rope. It's technic'ly a miniature line charge, jist about hundred feet of bomb-onna-rope. Regular line charges is used to clear a hole through a mine field, or shoot it down a street and blow the buildings on both sides half to hell.

Or we kin pop it inna portal and make ravioli of anythang onna other side.

This here thang is jist a prototype though. I figger I oughta make a proper one, with 350 feet of boomrope. Need a vehicule fer that, though. And rockits. And more 'splosives."

>>273511
That actually sounds like a very useful little project. It'd certainly help if they decide to use human wave tactics to neutralize our anti-armor weapons.

>>273503
Where?

IT'S NICE.

DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH LEFTOVER C4 TO ALSO PLACE SOME AROUND THE NEXT PORTAL FOR THE FUCKERS WHO DO COME OUT?

>>273511
THIS IS BRILLIANT! IT GIVES ME ANOTHER IDEA, THOUGH. IF THE PORTAL DETECTION DEVICE CAN BE MINIATURIZED, CAN WE USE THIS OR A SIMILAR DEVICE TO SEND THROUGH A RADIO SQUEALER? THAT WAY, WHEN IT DETECTS A PORTAL OPENING ON THE OTHER SIDE THE SQUEALER WILL GO OFF AND WE CAN TRACK IT ON THIS SIDE, WHICH WOULD HELP US DETECT THE PORTALS, MAYBE, AND GET A BETTER IDEA OF THE TERRAIN OVER THERE. THE MORE INSTRUMENTS AND INFORMATION THAT WE COULD GET OUT OF THIS KIND OF THING THE BETTER.

ANYWAYS, YOU JUST TOTALLY MADE UP FOR WASTING ALL THAT C4.

>>273516
>>/questdis/339630

Skalfak 2011/01/21(Fri)17:34 No. 273525 ID: f604d6
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"I was jist thinkin' I don't need to set up no bomb around the portal, I kin jist shoot a bunch of link'd bricks a seefore with this. Jist set th'pressure lower. Cud arrange the bricks in a loop or net with detcord.

Save time an' effort.

I kin shoot a squealer with this here thang, but it might be even better to send a remote control air-a-plane, cud stick cam'ras onnit an' stuff. I think Ka's workin' on exactly that kinda thang."

>>273525
EXCELLENT WORK MAN. YOUR PREVIOUS WASTE OF EXPLOSIVES HAS BEEN FORGIVEN. NOW MAKE A QUADLINKED ONE.

>>273511

YOU ARE CREDIT TO TEAM.

>>273507

Alright, we're working on monetary schemes at this moment, which may also keep certain members from being distracted by their other distractions (Or possibly taking advantage of such an issue), but we really need someone to total up how much has been spent, and how much remained. There has to be someone not doing enough to be able to track some receits and do some basic math...

>>273529
In other words, hire an accountant. We don't need to see the thing, just put him in a corner with a calculator and a stack of bills. Or give him the bills and send him back his office. Whatever.

Skalfak 2011/01/21(Fri)18:20 No. 273537 ID: f604d6
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"No... it... just ignore that.

Anyway, I can make RC vehicles with on-board cameras and I could make automatic turrets if I had some miniature computers and IR optics - and the guns."

>>273537

Sorry, until we figure out exactly what the cash reserves are, no new purchases. So don't squander what you've got left. Like on phallic objects that double as visual puns.

Your ability to produce sentry guns is noted, however. Once the money situation is calculated, we'll see if we can manage that. It's be a pretty good investment, assuming they don't get wrecked often.

>>273537
The thought of chasing around an army of demons with a flying dildo-cam is just too hilarious to pass up.

We should hire a half-dozen interns. In this economy, we shouldn't have any trouble getting people, and we can assign them to all kinds of tasks up to and including ones which might get them killed without feeling bad about it at all because they're interns and it's expected.

End of Chapter 2 Skalfak 2011/01/21(Fri)18:42 No. 273543 ID: f604d6
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But we're still not prepared for a serious attack.

We can only hope our luck lasts.

>>273486
Ok, enough of that. You've determined that they're harmless civilians who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, now hand her over to our sniper.

Murder? Slavery? Why are so many people here dead-set on trying to prove themselves more evil than demons?

Holy shit, it's like everyone became competent at the exact same time.

GOOD JOB, LICK, THAT'S VERY CLEVER AND DEFINITELY USEFUL FOR OUR PURPOSES. IT CERTAINLY WOULD HAVE SAVED SKALFAK SOME HEAD INJURY EARLIER.

Also, you really might as well just continue the sex. It's obvious you're all having fun with it, none of us are having much luck stopping you, it's fun to watch... Just, y'know, stay goal-oriented.

Don't kill the prisoners/captives/sex-toys, though.

VER GOOD WORK, LINK. AWESOME JOB.
AS SOON AS WE GOT MORE MONEY YOU CAN START WORKING ON THE BIGGER VERSION OF THAT THING. UNTIL THEN WE'LL USE THIS USEFUL LITTLE THING.

Ka, try to keep our expenses low for the moment. Construct the cheapest version of a reasonably functional remote-controlled flying camera you are able to. Good, work though. Seems like you're a proper wrench-wench after all.

Generally:
We need a source of income.

If you are really opposed to sell demon-sextapes, I suggest this:

Have Doktor Vergewaltiger take blood and tissue samples and anatomical measurements of the prisoners and sell them to medical institutes in Nova Pori, maybe together with a video tape of his doings.

We should milk the fact we established first contact with a humanoid species.

>>273555
Because it's fun. And also because good and evil are abstract concepts without any absolutes to them, it's simply about perspective. Currently they're a drain on our time and resources, the demonic invasion is a real thing, and considering how they treat their own civilians it's likely that bad things would happen if they took over here. And so we need to do everything in our power to stop them. To do that we need among other things more funds and better discipline. One way to do that is to either sell the demons alive or dead. Then one of the things effecting discipline in a bad way is removed and we get additional funds. More manpower is also freed up to fight the demons since we don't have to use anyone to guard the prisoners.

But mainly because it's fun.

>>273543
Put a stabliation thingie on the dong copter and an internal camera and then it's good to go.

Suggestion 2011/01/22(Sat)07:18 No. 273727 ID: 3c87f5
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>source of income
>measurements of the prisoners
>milk
I like the way you're thinking and fully agree.

>>273727
Silly person. She would have to be pregnant for this. Silly perso-- oh wait.

>>273733
Did we just release demonic spawn onto the earth?
You bet we did!

Also hows that pin up idea working.
The porn industry is were the money is, just make sure that all videos are blessed by a priest that way wanking to them saves your soul instead of damning it.

>>273710
lolwut?
While most morality falls into a mire of gray, there are absolutes and near-absolutes.
Beyond that, moral relativity doesn't excuse bad behavior, it simply provides for criteria of judgement that take into account the situation.

>Because it's fun.

That is not a justification.

>And also because good and evil are abstract concepts without any absolutes to them, it's simply about perspective.

That argument might hold some water if it had any connection to reality.

Lets go with a lax proof of your incorrectness here:
You cannot have a stable society that has no standards for behavior.
Standards for behavior must prohibit interactions which directly undermine the stability of society.
Actions which cause undue harm to others undermine the stability of society.
Rape, murder, dismemberment, torture, and imprisoning of individuals are actions which undermine the stability of society.
Actions which harm society can be permitted if it is to stop actions which cause greater harm to society.

TL;DR: The onus is on you to prove that society would suffer more harm if these two prisoners were NOT being raped than allowing our team to rape them.

Good luck with that.

>Currently they're a drain on our time and resources,

Because we have chosen to keep them captive. You don't get to take prisoners and then whine about having prisoners. Deal with it.

>the demonic invasion is a real thing,

Yes. It is a real thing which they are not party to; we have confirmed so beyond a reasonable doubt.

>and considering how they treat their own civilians it's likely that bad things would happen if they took over here.

First: Can you prove this claim? Prisoner 1 thought he was protecting his home, which requires that he believes it to be worth protecting. Prisoner 2 believed it was some sort of athletic competition, and that level of naivety and innocence suggests that their world is far from a brutal nightmare. That both prisoners completely lack martial skills would support this assumption.

Second: Can you provide any logical argument suggesting that treating the prisoners this was will prevent an invasion?

>And so we need to do everything in our power to stop them.

Again, how does that in any way, shape, or form justify this sort of abuse?

>To do that we need among other things more funds and better discipline.

Better discipline can be accomplished by not encouraging bad behavior, and punishing violators.

>One way to do that is to either sell the demons alive or dead.

Slave trade! Take a shot!
Again, what have these prisoners done to justify such an action? There are far better ways to turn a profit on the demons. The talkshow circuit and as guests for televangelists.

>Then one of the things effecting discipline in a bad way is removed and we get additional funds.

Your 'solution' shows a fundamental lack of respect for society and any sense of proper behavior. You argue that a demonic invasion is bad because of how horrible life would be under their rule, but you do so while engaging in what are out-and-out war crimes. Against civilians, no less.

>More manpower is also freed up to fight the demons since we don't have to use anyone to guard the prisoners.

That's a non-issue; there are plenty of researchers would would pay to examine these demons first-hand, and that pay would be more than enough to hire a proper guard.


Heh, let me go one step further; lets assume, for the sake of argument, that the demons sent incompetent civilians in first so they could obtain footage of humans doing horrible things to demons in order to obtain popular support for an invasion.

For supporting evidence?
Prisoner 1 thought he was defending his home, so he clearly believes humans are a threat.
Prisoner 2 was unable to recognize that our team was human, suggesting that there is a sharp lack of information on humans among demon civilians.
The portals work using a mechanism we do not understand, and it is possible that transmitting data either does not require a portal or is accomplished by burst transmissions when a portal is open. This second possibility seems likely, as it would fit the sequence of events:
Portal 1: Prisoner 1 sent here as bait with a monitoring device.
Portal 2: Prisoner 2 sent here as bait with a monitoring device, recordings of Prisoner 1's rape and other mistreatment send back.
Portal 3: Assault squad sent in to 'rescue' Prisoners 1&2, recordings of continued rape and mistreatment of Prisoners 1&2 sent back.

I would expect that Portal 4 will either be an attempt at a covert scouting force with a mission of recovering the 'rescue' squad or a full-on invasion force.

Oh, hey, Smeth, is your face red?

>>273767
You make the assumption that I'm after a stable society here. I'm not. Or that I thought it was a good idea to take prisoners. Which I didn't, I wanted to shoot them right away.

And I could make arguments against the rest. But that's not fun right now. And so I will state what I said before. Because it's fun, which might not be a justification to you. But to me it's all the justification I need.

HIM MOST COOL DUDE GUY 2011/01/23(Sun)09:38 No. 274005 ID: f604d6
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>>273767
HOLY EYERAPING WALLS OF TEXT, BATMANG!

YOU MAD!

HIM MAD!

MAD AS ALL BALLS!

>>273756

Science would probably pay more in the short term than the porn industry. Part of the reason the porn industry is so rich is because of the SHEER VOLUME OF PORN that exists, and we don't have a sheer volume of porn to produce; That is, unless you like watching the same handful of actors in the same place bang it over and over and over. Also, whacking it to demons may be a bit disconcerting for some people. Remember that nobody else really knows they exist, and stirring up a huge giant panic because some catholic auto-mechanic down in Louisianna gets caught beating it to satan.

Then we might have to deal with the church, the pope, the government, local police forces (If it catches on we're more or less holding slaves), etc. Drawing attention to ourselves in bulk like that just doesn't seem like a great idea.

Scientists, though, those guys know how to keep a tight lip. Plus, I'd personally rather have the public find out about these guys in a credible scientific journal or academic paper; it makes us look like researchers and not underground slave traders.

Public Image, ladies and gentlemen. If you want to make money, you're going to have to go public. If you go public, you have a public image to uphold and maintain. If you want to make lots of money, it's best to have a good public image, not a bad one.