Damn it. You can't rape the willing.

Oh well, pick her up and ask if she would care to join you. Perhaps find a form to bypass the species stipulation so you can get that suit!

After dealing with the OSHA form, that is.

>>243183
Just turn the filthy radio in your room off! It's that part of the day where they play rap about raping and bein gangsta and crap. I don't even know why someone tuned into to that.

>>243187
Sure, why not. If she's actually familiar with this place, it'd be a lot better for her to lead the way, rather than for you to stumble onto floor C which requires form X-32-B to enter and rapidly find yourself trapped in a maze of forms and inaccessible areas.

Right, better ask after that change-of-species form too. New chair, new keyboard, possibly new cubicle, and you know if you touch any of that stuff yourself the unions will be all over your ass.

>>243183
Okay, so ask her why we're here. That doesn't really seem clear yet. We just sorta started existing.

IT'S A BIT DISCONCERTING.

rape :D

Consume her whole and slowly digest her in your tough abdomen stomach sack, so you don't have to snack later.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:17 No. 243194 ID: 2563d4
File 128702623734.gif - (13.85KB , 640x480 , bs013.gif )

"You know, eyes never quite taste how you think they might. Sayyy, how about dinner at your favorite restaurant as soon as I get these forms filled out?"
"Sure! Fine! Whatever you want!"

What a friendly soul.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:23 No. 243198 ID: 2563d4
File 128702658785.gif - (12.80KB , 640x480 , bs014.gif )

I help her up, and she leads me to the nearest secretarial office.

Well, rats. There's OSHA form 29-872-2007, but I can't just take it without approval, and I can't disturb the floor manager without going via the secretary, who isn't here!

>>243198
Oh darn it, it happened anyway.

Hm.

Ask her what forms qualify as your recourse here, and where they're at. Or if she happens to be a secretary who's not currently at your desk.

Oh, I'm sorry. Fill out forms 623C and 996B, in triplicate.

Then rape her.

hmmm... fill out the form while you wait. as long as it isn't moved off the desk it's fine.

>>243201
Er, her desk, not yours.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:38 No. 243211 ID: 2563d4
File 128702753119.gif - (17.90KB , 640x480 , bs015.gif )

Perfect! I feel so wicked, yet it's technically correct, the best kind of correct!

+5 Bureaucracy Points
+10 Renegade Points

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:40 No. 243213 ID: 2563d4
File 128702764539.gif - (9.14KB , 640x480 , bs016.gif )

...unfortunately it looks like I'm still going to need to find the secretary.

dang. well since it is filled out you can leave it there, hopefully they will see it and think they somehow forgot one and send it in for processing.

>>243213
Again, ask gnoll chick if she happens to be a secretary.

Otherwise, time to go hunt down somebody. Joy.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)20:49 No. 243221 ID: 2563d4
File 128702819026.gif - (12.31KB , 640x480 , bs017.gif )

I express my exasperation at the secretary's absence.

"Joy? I saw her when I was, er, heading for the break room."

That sure seems to have perked her up. Canids love to play fetch quests, I guess.

It occurs to me that you don't know this nice lady's name. Maybe you need to rectify this situation.

>>243221
Ask what the gnoll chick's name is, then have both of you head over in the direction she pointed.

cool, we have out heading.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)21:11 No. 243244 ID: 2563d4
File 128702947216.gif - (9.62KB , 640x480 , bs018.gif )

Damn, she's---I mean Sherla is fast.

>>243244
Copy room?

>>243221
Ask if Joy's eyes are tasty, then twist your head 360 degrees in place and thank the gnollgirl, then crawl backwards up the walls up onto the ceiling and make your way out to look for Joy.

congratulate her on her speed. then check the copy room.

>>243244
Check the copy room!
Also, ask Sherla what her name is.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)21:27 No. 243259 ID: 2563d4
File 128703042047.gif - (22.68KB , 640x480 , bs019.gif )

The door seems stuck, but forcing it is no problem for someone as stro---

Oh honestly.

I bet she hasn't filed the requisition forms for the paper she's using.

Reset the "__ days since last butt photocopy" sign and leave.

>>243259
Ask her if she wouldn't happen to be Joy, and explain blah blah blah etcetera.

Say "Oh, like they won't know who it was."

>>243263
Also remember to get the signature.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)21:42 No. 243278 ID: 2563d4
File 128703136911.gif - (11.05KB , 640x480 , bs020.gif )

I update the office record-keeping signage.

+1 Bureaucracy Point

A rather flustered Joy says that she realised that she'd be pretty identifiable, but she signed-off a TV-1970 stereotypical office hijinks form without really paying attention, and she couldn't just shred it or anything.

The boss' schedule should be clear, though. Since a workplace accident is a priority, she'll book a meeting as soon as she's done here.

ah, well since she signed off on it before hand then it's all good.

Smile like a huge creep and say you'll wait.

Ahh, but as she already knows the TV-1970 does not specify the personnel requirements for generic hijinx.

Sherla can sub in while you get your meeting scheduled. Tell me you didn't want to see that anyway.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)21:52 No. 243295 ID: 2563d4
File 128703197682.gif - (12.29KB , 640x480 , bs021.gif )

Sherla agrees unexpectedly eagerly. While Joy is dressing she takes the toner cartridge out of the copier and replaces it with a nearly-dead one from the recycling pile. I can't help but feel that I'm being an influence.

+10 Renegade Points

I return to Joy's desk with her, and she waves me on to the boss' office.

>>243287
Yes indeedy.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)22:02 No. 243300 ID: 2563d4
File 128703255527.gif - (11.78KB , 640x480 , bs022.gif )

Joy hands me the mostly-completed form and I step into the Boss' office. He's reading THE FIGURES and hasn't yet noticed me.

polity cough to get his attention.

>>243300
Put your face unnervingly close to his and grin. Then hand him the form.

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)22:09 No. 243306 ID: 2563d4
File 128703295223.gif - (13.74KB , 640x480 , bs023.gif )

I lean in and cough.

Once he's run out of air to scream with, I hold up the form.

tell him it only needs him to sign it left.

Get him to sign it.

>>243306
"Could you sign this?"

Suggestion 2010/10/13(Wed)22:23 No. 243315 ID: 2563d4
File 128703379283.gif - (21.63KB , 640x480 , bs024.gif )

YOU GOT
COMPLETED OSHA FORM 29-872-2007

+10 Bureaucracy Points

Congratulations! You have correctly reported this workplace incident through outstanding teamwork!

FINAL SCORE:
26 Bureaucracy Points
15 Renegade Points
0 Horse Points
∞ Sweet Gnoll Lovin' Points

Thanks for playing guys. I think a high-speed unplanned quest did me the world of good, even if daybreak is imminent. :)

Best quest on /quest/. Nice save, LP.

A+ rating, would sign in triplicate again.

Five stars, good show.

>>243315
Make a sequel some time!

I filled out the necessary forms to enjoy this quest.