WELL HELLO THERE, SUCKER!

Press one for Conquer the World, two for Rescue the Girl, three for Defeat the Enemy, four for Become the Guy or five for Just be Fucking Awesome.

??? 2010/05/31(Mon)05:12 No. 185777 ID: 63f46a
File 127530795929.png - (44.23KB , 640x400 , 2.png )

What the hell!
Orb of Confusion should not be able to talk!
... This is Orb of Confusion, right?

>>185777
Yep. Feeling confused yet?

>>185777
No, no, no. You got scammed, this is the orb of infinite psyche. We can be pretty god damn confusing though, I mean once we managed to make a giant caveworm commit suicide because we were so god damn confusing and insanity inducing.

So what did you need an orb of confusion for?

You are now breathing manually.
And blinking manually.

Oh and we also tell jokes.

??? 2010/05/31(Mon)05:30 No. 185782 ID: 63f46a
File 127530902926.png - (57.61KB , 640x400 , 3.png )

Fuuuck! Foiled again!
I needed it for my newest invention; Extraordionary Hi-Tech Megabeam of Googly Eyes!

Goddamnit, now I have to come up with something new.

DON'T WORRY SCIENCE MAN!
We can do superscience!

What's your field of study?

>>185782
Well I guess you could still hook us up to it. Then it might turn into an extraordinary high-tech megabeam of perversion, insanity and stupidity. That might be pretty neat.

??? 2010/05/31(Mon)05:45 No. 185785 ID: 63f46a
File 127530995446.png - (53.73KB , 640x400 , 4.png )

>What's your field of study?
Evil! Well. Let me explain you.

This beam would have made whole kingdom googly-eyed. Without proper eye-sight, they could not defend themselves against forces of evil!
>Well I guess you could still hook us up to it. Then it might turn into an extraordinary high-tech megabeam of perversion, insanity and stupidity. That might be pretty neat.

Are you mad?! This is Megabeam of Googly-eyes, ot beam of perversion! It might make my tower explode!
Well. Any other ideas how to cause chaos and disorder?

ah, but the orb of confusion would not of done that ether. it would do something completely random, such as cause petunias to grow on they roofs.

We can totally help you screw over the good nation. We're like there for you, man. A hundred and ten percent.

What kinda resources do you have? A lab I hope? A hunch-backed servant?

>>185785
Oh fuck yeah! Evil mad scientist as the boss. You have my full support man.

Ok the beam might not work out as planned. But that's why you have back-up plans. Lets see what resources you have to work with and we can surely come up with something cool. Like a selfreplicating creature that will overrun any nation in a matter of months and convert the entire population to more of it's kind. Ohh biological super weapons can be so much FUN!

Tory 2010/05/31(Mon)05:56 No. 185789 ID: 63f46a
File 127531057524.png - (37.51KB , 640x400 , Tower_world1.png )

Anyway, my name is Tory. This is my tower.
Well, I share it with three other people. And their minions.
As for my minions, I have some bots. I have been pretty laze. Doc has army of zombies and Sister of Pain can summon demons to aid her.
And then there is that guy who plays the organs. He does not have any minions, but he pays me for allowing him to stick around.

Resources? I have stuff to create inventions. I am low on money, since I spent so much cash on this orb.

so how much better is your tech then the army? like would your bots be considered futuristic to their perspective? if so then we need to build something that is comparatively unbeatable.

>>185789
Well call up your bots and lets see what resources you have. I'm sure that together we can cook up something suitably insane and crazy to be worthy of even the most mad scientist.

Tory 2010/05/31(Mon)06:12 No. 185793 ID: 63f46a
File 127531157866.png - (56.32KB , 640x400 , Tory.png )

Well. It is futuristic here. It was pretty advanced where I came from. People here are still fighting with swords. Some even are using simple guns. But they can use magic.
Fucking magic.

Anyway, I have 10 bots designed for guarding this tower, four cleaning bots and two bots for other uses. I was not lying when I said I was lazy.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/31(Mon)06:15 No. 185794 ID: 6a5a08
File 127531175639.jpg - (31.23KB , 300x388 , samus.jpg )

No worries, I'm lazy too.

Also I enjoy wreaking havoc on an unsuspecting population.

Alright, first thing's first, Mad scientists have low defense. We must build you Power Armor. Use projected image as inspiration.

okay, so lazy but powerful, i can dig. we are talking to this one guy in another dimension that has a robot girlfriend. has everything built in, can even have a baby. (yes, we are transdimensional, no we can't use it on you.) ever think about one of those?


moving on. do you have a pilot-able robot? if not then you will need one, make it's power-soure 'Raw willpower' and will be able to do things that would be considered impossible. (may need help from magic to do so) you just need to try hard enough and you can do crazy bullshit.

Swords huh?

How do you feel about designing and building a humongous armoured vehicle bristling with guns of various kinds?

Tory 2010/05/31(Mon)06:36 No. 185798 ID: 63f46a
File 127531299328.png - (46.40KB , 640x400 , 5.png )

Yeah, building a tank might work! Tesla-coils, missile-launchers, a cannon...
Hehe, it would be pretty awesome.

Tory 2010/05/31(Mon)06:37 No. 185799 ID: 63f46a
File 127531302149.png - (44.09KB , 640x400 , 6.png )

Then again, they have fucking wizards, and I have no clue how magic works.

Hmm. Ok, maybe you could ask your roommates how to protect the tanks against magic. Then you could put, like, anti-magic systems into the tank and blow their silly wizards to kingdom come.

So hey, Tory, it's a great thing you got yourself scammed. We're far more useful than an Orb of Confusion. Hell, that's sort of one of our secondary features - it's just that we've got no range on it.

But anyway, as you can tell already, we're full of ideas. Possibly sinister ones. And it's our duty to assist whoever's got us - that's you. So, we're here to help until you dominate the world or otherwise accomplish your overall goal.

Then you can chuck us in a vault or something until you need us again, or sell us, or whatever - we'll just go inactive until we're needed.

But you can't smash us. You'll die if you do. So don't do that.
AS FOR A REAL IDEA, what if you studied magic some? Not to learn it, fuck no. You'd be looking for a weakness, some way to use SCIENCE to cancel it out. If you can cancel magic, their wizards are just people in funny clothing.

ah, well wizardry is actually a bizarre subset of science. mostly math, as in 'doing this results in this happening' once you get the basics down you can just make shit up as you go along. so once you figure out all the ins and outs of magic you can then counter it perfectly. just build a science thing that makes magic not work. may take some doing but if you make that then you will be unstoppable. also, we are immune due to being trans-dimensional and therefor not subject to this worlds laws.

I'm a Black Mage, I know Wizards. They're incredibly weak against physical damage, if you can get past their magic shields. If I remember, there is a certain material which negates magic, but I cannot recall the name.....

If you can get it, you cans make anti-magic bots and bullets.
Also seconding Magi-Tech Mecha powered by Willpower. We'll help power it too... well, they will. I'm lazy.

Nay, I say, nay!
Why build magi-tech mecha when you can build real tech mecha? SCREW THAT.
A magic-resistant material would be ideal, though. Ask the pain-chick about that.

RUNESRUNESRUNESRUNES! Runes. You must carve runes into the robots. That's it. I remember now.
ANTI-MAGIC RUNES. NOT A MATERIAL.
Silly me.

Oh yes, mortal, DO NOT be alarmed. We frequently argue amongst ourselves until a consensus is reached! It is to be expected, that's how we roll.

And damn you Pie, why spend a lot of time learning how to use runes when this guy is obviously way more capable with science and technology?

SCIENCE > MAGIC

Tory 2010/05/31(Mon)06:52 No. 185808 ID: 63f46a
File 127531393398.png - (28.94KB , 640x400 , Thinking.png )

Anti-magic? Might work. But then again, I don't know if I have any materials that have such features. Sister of Pain knows some magic, so she might help me out to test different materials and such. Or make those runes as you suggested.
But then again, she hates my guts.
Doc might support me with his zombies. I could attach heat-seeking missile-launchers on them.

Also hire Templars. While paragons of good, they also hate us mages, and if you convince them that the mages are the real evil, they'll help you. They're technically a warrior class, so they should be pretty stupid.

Also I remembered another anti-magic thing. Dragon parts. They can absorb and channel mana. As in, absorb to power the robots, and channel away excess to stop power over load. Problem is: How to get Dragon parts.

>>185808
Well Magic still follows rules and laws. With your vastly superior intellect you should be able to figure out what makes it tic in no time at all with the proper guidance. Which is why you should find a very nice bottle of wine, maybe some sacrificial slaves and some nice chocolate and go pay the Sister of Pain a visit. Worm your way into her heart or atleast good graces and learn magic from her, and who knows, maybe make a couple of cyborg demons in the process.

>>185811
are you proposing... cyber-demons? those things are ungodly tough. still can be killed but only time i saw that happen was by a guy with highly experimental weapons, included in that was the BFG9000

What about organ guy? Ask him if he knows anything about magic.

>>185813
How about we just meet all your tower-mates right now, and save you the trouble of introducing us later.

Rocketzombies? Awesome. The only problem is, zombies are generally expendable footsoldiers. Giving them missile launchers makes them a lot more expensive and a lot less expendable...

Tory 2010/05/31(Mon)07:24 No. 185817 ID: 63f46a
File 127531588627.png - (54.81KB , 640x400 , 7.png )

Oh well, off to visit Sister then!
>Worm your way into her heart
Oh god what. I can forgive you this one, but you obviously haven't met Sister of Pain. She is fucking horrifying.

I will probably visit Doc after this.

Yes, attaching science to demons sounds like a good idea. And yeah, giving zombies something expensive might end up BADLY.

So, how should I approach her?

>>185812
I was more thinkking along the Iron Warriors demonic machine things. But there was some cyberdemon thrown in there as well. In either case I'm sure it would be fucking awesome, and the demon should be able to resist magic alot better than just machinery would.

loudly announce your presence and your intentions. "GREETINGS SISTER PAIN! i have come with a proposal that would be mutually beneficial, i would be more then willing to augment your demons with advanced weaponry in exchange for some lessons in magic."

>>185817
Say hello from a distance. Then tell her that you think the two of you got off on the wrong foot and you would like to get to know her better.

Did you bring any gifts? The act of giving gifts is very important and creates a special kind of bond between the giver and the reciever, there is a whole science behind gift giving. Quite interesting in fact.

Tory 2010/05/31(Mon)08:20 No. 185829 ID: 63f46a
File 127531921047.png - (59.42KB , 640x400 , 8.png )

"Um... Hello Sister of P"
>"Cut that out Tory. Get out of my chamber."
"I know we did have bit of a bad start, but-"
>"Don't make me dismember you again. It leaves a mess."
"Could you atleast help me with magic and su"
>"G e t o u t w o r m"

Well, she is not very friendly today.

>>185829
Apologise for catching her at a bad time. Ask her if she would be willing to meet with you sometime later and maybe talk about a joint endeavour.

Make sure you have some gifts for her at the later meeting. You know, some nice wine, a couple of sacrificial slaves and maybe something nice to eat.

>>185829
JESUS CHRIST WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE

I mean, uh, apologise for intruding and leave. Let's go see the Doc and his army of the dead.

"Must be that time of the month, huh."

Tory 2010/05/31(Mon)09:04 No. 185850 ID: 63f46a
File 127532185519.png - (97.00KB , 640x400 , 9.png )

"Must be that time of the month, huh."

>>185842
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SAY THAT!!

just leave, she seems angry all the time. figure out anti-magic then try talking to her again, would have nothing to back her up.

>>185850
Need a hand?

>>185850
Hahaha- I mean, whoops.

>>185850
Real smooth. Well she indicated that this isn't the first time it's happened. So reattach your arm and go see the zombie guy.

Also find a way to use science to make Sister of Pain hot. We voices are in the business of match making. :3c

Tory 2010/06/01(Tue)03:42 No. 186484 ID: 63f46a
File 127538893185.png - (69.03KB , 640x400 , 10.png )

Hello again.
I currently at Doc's, having my arm fixed.
So, here is Doc. He is a close friend of mine, and he is excellent medic. He can re-attach limbs and heads, cure diseases and make zombies. Hell, he might even be able to keep us alive for eternity.

So, what now?

>>186484
Chat up a bit with doc. Ask about zombies, how he makes them and on average how smart are they as well as how relsiliant they are.

>>186484
Have you considered attaching a cyborg arm instead? I mean, what kind of self respecting genius does not have a cyborg arm, right?

Tory 2010/06/01(Tue)04:56 No. 186519 ID: 63f46a
File 127539338944.png - (53.01KB , 640x400 , 11.png )

Doc says that he has all kinds of zombies. For example; new zombies made from inhabitants of this world. He promised to show me few.

And yeah, I haven't thought awfully lot replacing my arm. It just reminds me of the time when I tried to integrate a deathray into a cat. I got roasted.

Doc is almost finished. Should we ask him something specific?

>>186519
How smart and resilient the zombies are, and if they can heal from damage or just keep getting more banged up as they go.

If they can heal then it might be nice to replace their brains with ai's. That way you can have pretty competent zombies as groundsoldiers.

>>186519
Can he combine several zombies into a larger zombie chimera?

Can anything that was once alive become a zombie?

Tory 2010/06/01(Tue)06:04 No. 186527 ID: 63f46a
File 127539746582.png - (40.16KB , 640x400 , 12.png )

>Ask about zombies.

Tory 2010/06/01(Tue)06:07 No. 186529 ID: 63f46a
File 127539763331.png - (61.97KB , 640x400 , zombie.png )

Doc's zombies are creepy. For some reason, he bandages all of them, probably to prevent rotting or something like that. He can combine zombies, since he has made zombies out of zombies that were made out of zombies.
And yes, some of Doc's zombies were alive before they became zombies.

Well, from Doc tells me that he currently has large, berserking zombies, smaller more faster zombies, zombies made out of zombies and these new zombies that can resist magic to some extend. Of course, he has other zombies as well, but he is not willing to let me see them.

>>186529
Hmmm, those magic resistant zombies sound promising. How strong are they? How resiliant to normal harm are they? How smart are they? And last but not least, can they heal or do they just take damage until they fall apart?

Rand 2010/06/01(Tue)10:35 No. 186560 ID: 63f46a
File 127541370060.png - (39.89KB , 640x400 , 13.png )

They are... Very fragile.
Well, if we strap them to our doomsday-vehicle it might work out.
Any ideas?

>>186560
Man those suck. They're not even likely to be able to bear the weight of armour, so you would have to add servos to them to make the armour powered and crap, it would be easier to just make a bot and add anti magic runes to it.

Lets see the zombies made from zombies, maybe we can do something good with those.

>>186560

Actually combining a magic-resistant zombie into a tank doomsday machine sounds like a good idea, especially if they're fairly intelligent.

>>186582
Yeah that sounds good. Maybe you can make a device that harnesses the latent magic resistance of the zombie so you don't have to rely on a fragile shell of them.

Tory 2010/06/02(Wed)08:05 No. 186822 ID: 63f46a
File 127549110883.png - (56.92KB , 640x400 , 14.png )

Ah, in light again. From what Doc explained to me, zombies do not fare well with light.

This is the section he keeps larger zombies and constructs. They are ugly. Very ugly. Doc sure knows how to make zombies.

"Hey Doc, can you make zombies that are resistant to magic and can take hits?"
>"Depends--- I would have to--- create such unliving out of other--- unliving.
"
>"So, is it a problem?"
>"It is not--- They might not--- have some properties of--- zombies I have shown you--- but allow me to take my time--- and I will make you few."
>"Cool."

So, now we can probably go design the doomsday-vehicle.

before you leave tell him that it would also be a big help if he could just do whatever it is that makes them magic resistant to the tank itself.

anyway. what kind of power-sources you got? micro fusion? degeneracy chain? anti-matter?

>>186822
Hmm, people as legs for that big triclops thing in there. Looks a bit strange.

Looks like zombies won't be that useful as grunts then. Still if you can get some decently strong magic resistant ones you might be able to turn them into a decent personal guard or something.

Lets go meet the last guy. The crazy one in the basement with the organ. He might be useful for something as well.

Tory 2010/06/02(Wed)08:48 No. 186836 ID: 63f46a
File 127549369591.png - (40.76KB , 640x400 , 15.png )

Ah? You ask what kind of reactor I use?
My tower uses a reactor that I invented! It was a good day when I was trying to make a toaster that shoots explosive toast. Accidentally, I made a VOID-reactor! It is awesome! It practically rotates for absolutely no reason!
From what Sister Of Pain told me, the reactor supposedly is moved by stuff flowing inside void. Void is kinda like world of nothing. What Sister of Pain explained to me, void distorts laws of physics. I don't know how the fuck is that even possible. Neither does Sister of Pain know.

For bots that operate outside the tower, I usually use nuclear-reactors ( fission ). If shit goes down, I can just remove control-rods from the reactor. Boom goes reactor, everything dies around.

Of course, I can only make few of them. Otherwise I use solar power. Or batteries.

>>186836
Aw fuck yeah. Fuck you laws of thermodynamic, that this is fucking awesome.

And you got fission power small enough that bots can carry it around. Also awesome. Hmm, how long can they be active with the usual batteries you use?

And have you by any chance experimented with implants and mind control?

you created a dimensional breach, that is what the void is... exactly how much power does it generate? also, could you make more?

Tory 2010/06/02(Wed)09:04 No. 186842 ID: 63f46a
File 127549463958.png - (58.18KB , 640x400 , 16.png )

Thank you, thank you. It is my best invention in my opinion.
I don't know how much power it can bring. But Sister told me to be extremely careful with it. She said our tower might fall into the void if we exploit it too much. Which is not fun at all, according to Sister. I have to turn it off for a while sometimes.
Yeah, the void is pretty much nothingness surrounding all worlds.

Anyway, the organist is too focused on his own music. My words cannot reach him. Well, fuck him then. Any ideas what we should do now?

>>186842
Time to find gifts for Sister. You know, some nice wine, a couple of strong sacrificial slaves, possibly holy warrior types before they got captured, and maybe something nice to snack on. That way you make a nice first impression, or well third for you, and you also place her in your debt according to arcane and old rules regarding the giving and recieving of gifts.

Tory 2010/06/02(Wed)11:54 No. 186869 ID: 63f46a
File 127550489824.png - (6.55KB , 640x400 , design.png )

Hey, so I am going to get some gifts, try to approach Sister again and sleep until Doc gets his magic-resistant zombies ready.

So, design a rad design for our doomsday-vehicle!

Ask doc to coat it in magic resistant zombie flesh! Things'll be so much easier!

Suggestion 2010/06/02(Wed)13:15 No. 186876 ID: 1963d1
File 127550971931.jpg - (236.09KB , 640x400 , suggestion.jpg )

>>186869
Well, I'm not the best artist in the world, but I think this get the point across. Notice the dual miniguns and the magic-resistant zombies (whose constant howling can't be good for enemy morale) strapped to the front. You'll be unstoppable!

Hmm, if Doc is making us zombies, we should probably come up with something to strengthen/help his zombies.

Perhaps a way to help them perform better in sunlight?

>>186869

Suggestion 2010/06/02(Wed)13:35 No. 186889 ID: c71597
File 127551091880.gif - (70.55KB , 679x544 , Doomtank.gif )

>>186869
Not the greatest work of art ever. But I hope you get the idea. Big fucking tank, shitload of guns and cannons, maybe add in a few tesla coils and flamethrowers alongside with plasma guns or something. Make magic resistant zombiepuree to paint the tank with. Then go wild and wipe out a city or two.

Suggestion 2010/06/02(Wed)13:57 No. 186899 ID: 5a2e05
File 127551222262.png - (115.98KB , 308x275 , metalgear.png )

>>186876
>>186889
Traditional tanks will get us nowhere.

>>186842
Hey, ever think about making a doomsday device that uses the VOID generator's dangerous effect as a weapon?

Tory 2010/06/02(Wed)14:28 No. 186919 ID: 63f46a
File 127551411059.png - (97.10KB , 800x400 , 17.png )

Uh, I was getting slaves and all that jazz.

Void-weapon is no-no.
Because I don't know shit about void. Seriously. While I know something, it is still little. Nobody really knows anything about the void. I basically use it to generate electricity and some other uses ( not dangerous ).
But I'll put researching the void on my to-do-list.

Keep up good work! I will be back!

I'm not sure that one giant weapon is what we need. It's too easily destroyed.

What we need is a rolling factory that creates lots of simple hunter-killer drones. Going for air superiority is also a good idea...

I've GOT IT! We need a weather-domination machine! That way we can solve the zombie aversion to light,starve our opponents by creating months-long droughts or by flattening their crops with hailstorms!

>>186921
But magic might be able to counter that. Hmm, I think we should look into mind control implants. With those we could easily force a crapload of peasants into obeying us and serve as our grunts while we can take the somewhat smarter among them to man our vehicles of war and mass destruction.

The Void? That's where I live! I could maybe use the reactor to enter your world.

Oh, wait, yeah... not allowed. NVM!

Anyhow, we should totally turn the organ into a doomsday tank. Like, while we ride into battle on the back of a magic-resistant zombie dragon, Organ Man can shoot lasers from the organ pipes, which rain down upon the foes using targeting systems which we, the Orb, will control with our minds.

Also these lasers will turn people into chickens, Dungeon Keeper style.

Tory 2010/06/03(Thu)05:27 No. 187114 ID: 63f46a
File 127556802011.png - (47.66KB , 640x400 , 18.png )

Goddamnit, Sister sure accepted my gifts, but she was not pleased. She severed my other arm, so I had to spent time with Doc.

Anyway, let's build!

Tory 2010/06/03(Thu)05:28 No. 187115 ID: 63f46a
File 127556808578.png - (42.65KB , 640x400 , 19.png )

[ Hours later ]

... Goddamnit, I am tired and bored.
Let's do something else for a while?

well what is there to do? you got a fem-bot?

>>187114
>>187115
For Mother Russia!

So are you actually Russian, or just a Russian fan?

Tory 2010/06/03(Thu)06:52 No. 187124 ID: 63f46a
File 127557316853.png - (33.81KB , 640x400 , 20.png )

I was once in a project held in New Soviet Union.
Everyone in the project got one.

So, what should we do? Continue the vehicle or go to do something else?

well, if you try doing something while you don't want to do it you make mistakes. let's go do something else and come back to it later.

Let's get a guitar and play with Organ Man to try and communicate.

>>187127
that may work, commune with music man with music.

>>187124
Build an electrical guitarr that actually shoots lightning bolts and produce sonic waves strong enough to if not melt faces then atleast blast them away. Then go jam with the organ dude.

Tory 2010/06/03(Thu)10:02 No. 187157 ID: 63f46a
File 127558454061.png - (84.89KB , 640x400 , Secret-weapon_discovered.png )

Fuck yeah! I combined my old guitar and one of my tesla-coils to produce a fearsome weapon AND an instrument!

oh man, that is the most rad thing ever, jam with organ dude a bit

>>187157
Get in! Perhaps you could work with Doc to make an elite death metal zombie killer band? Too bad zombies probably have no musical talent.

Tory 2010/06/03(Thu)10:27 No. 187163 ID: 63f46a
File 127558607468.png - (21.78KB , 640x400 , 21.png )

After jamming with organ-guy, we finally get to conversate with eachother. My performance must have been pretty electrifying! We haven't talked to eachother in week! We discuss about weather, inventions, music and organs.

Do you want to ask organ-guy anything specific?

What can the organ guy do? Apart from playing organs of course.

>>187163
See what organ dudes stance is on conquest of various kingdoms.

Tory 2010/06/04(Fri)06:35 No. 187700 ID: 63f46a
File 127565851345.png - (31.62KB , 640x400 , organist.png )

Organist does not care about such matters as kingdoms.

He can play Organ. That is all what I know. That is all he tells me.

hmmm, well then at least you had a really nice jam session. got an idea for a good present but starting on something new before you finish something old is not good so i will tell you after we finish what we are done the tank thing.

so turning the organ into a weapon would automatically turn him into a weapon expert?

how he gains money?

can we turn his organ into a mesmerizing tool?

>>187700
Well ask him if it would be cool if you were to record some of his music and use it as a morale booster and sountrack when you conqour shit.

who the fuck cares about conquering shit?

ask the organist what his favorite song is.

Tory 2010/06/04(Fri)09:12 No. 187732 ID: 63f46a
File 127566797140.png - (54.14KB , 640x400 , 22.png )

He says he loves Toccata and Fugue in D minor.

Now that you mention it, how the hell does he get his money?!

Anyway, we probably should go to finish the vehicle now...

yeah, we had a big and awesome enough break. let's finish that shit!

Tory 2010/06/04(Fri)12:05 No. 187765 ID: 63f46a
File 127567831741.png - (62.63KB , 640x400 , 23.png )

It is done. I have a new weapon! I shall call it Tory's Superior Ultra-Armed Megatank of Doom!
Sounds catchy! It is armed with multiple vulcan-cannons, a huge tesla-coil, cannon, organ-pipes, grenades and heat-seeking missiles!
It still lacks some paint, but it is least of my concerns. Zombies are not ready yet, but they will be very soon.

Now we have to come up with a plan. We cannot just attack like a rabid dog, can we?

I am so tired...

take a nap, we'll come up with a plan when you wake up.

>>187765
Or even plan while you sleep. Use magic resistant zombies to paint the whole thing.

And no you can't just attack randomly and expect to win. You have to build some assasination bots to take out mages and nobles. Then get some brain control implants or something similar going and get an army of meatshields. Then burn down a city or two.

To render this entire thing pointless, make a type of viral nanobot with no symptoms, spread it around the world, and hit the kill switch. Then go sweep out the stragglers.

Remember to thin your paints.

Tory 2010/06/05(Sat)05:11 No. 188134 ID: 63f46a
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>To render this entire thing pointless, make a type of viral nanobot with no symptoms, spread it around the world, and hit the kill switch. Then go sweep out the stragglers.

I don't have equipment or skill to manufacture nanobots.

Anyway, so we use zombies as shock-troops? Some zombies should focus on wizardfaggots, but I don't know if they can win against them.

I think I have few cannons in my storages...

>>188134
First make some badass ninja bots. They're to take down as many wizards as they can before the assault. Then use zombies as shock troops and use the tank to support them and blast everything to hell. Not like you have to be careful with aiming when the force largely consists of zombies.

Oh, and leave a note for Sister asking if she wants in on the plan.

>>188136
yes, a note, given from far away.

Have the note say that you, Doc, and Organ Man (he'll be playing the organ in the tank, right?) are going out to crack some skulls, and want to know if she'd like to come along too.

Be sure to praise her epic demonic powers.

Tory 2010/06/05(Sat)09:57 No. 188196 ID: 63f46a
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>Use magic resistant zombies to paint the whole thing.
Check.
>First make some badass ninja bots.
Rewired old robots, check.
>Oh, and leave a note for Sister asking if she wants in on the plan.
Note left, check. She hasn't answered yet.

So, should we go now or make somekind of backup-plan ( I installed an escape-pod to ensure that if everything gets dirty, I can easily transport myself back to the tower. )
Otherwise, we might just be ready to go!

escape pod? in that case i think you are ready to go.

>>188196
Eh, this seems excessive, but you could wire the tank to spray an acid mist when you hit the escape pod button. To cover your escape, of course.

Eh, I think it would be a bit rude to puree up the zombies Doc whipped up for you.

Tory 2010/06/05(Sat)11:50 No. 188222 ID: 63f46a
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[Next day]

What a rotten weather for mood. There should be thunder and rain! Goddamnit, I have to make weather-machine someday.

I am at the outskirts of my target. It is pretty huge city, and very important to that nation. They might have noticed me, but they probably do not care. Or then they just haven't seen me.
Anyway, we are ready to go. Zombies are waiting for my orders.

>Eh, I think it would be a bit rude to puree up the zombies Doc whipped up for you.
I did not tell him. Zombie-paint made tank more cooler than it originally was. Red tanks are awesome.

let's roll up and blast a hole in the wall to let the zombies in, then circle around a bit and have the tank enter from another direction.

Also, tell Organ Man to start playing. The sweet music of destruction shall ring in the air this day! Charge!

Did you remember to install chicken-lasers?
You didn't. I just knows it.

Tory 2010/06/05(Sat)12:53 No. 188236 ID: 63f46a
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Boom!
HAHAHA! Did you see that?! That was pretty fucking awesome!

I did install lasers! They just don't change you into chicken ( what a shame )!

Tory 2010/06/05(Sat)12:56 No. 188237 ID: 63f46a
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Zombies are now flooding in!
So now I just turn around, circle around and fire again?

yes, and keep a look out for 'heroes' they are extremely powerful and some could beat a guardbot unarmed.

Tory 2010/06/05(Sat)13:15 No. 188245 ID: 63f46a
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Now you got me worried. Seriously? I never witnessed such inviduals. I have fought tanks, sure, but never heroes.

>PALADINS OF EGAON, CHARGE! GIVE THE UNDEAD A FINAL REST!

Should I be worried right now?

crap, paladins. they are paragons of 'good'. if you can take a bunch out with a shot then do it. if not then blow open a hole and flank them.

>>188245
Welp, that about puts a socket wrench in our zombie schemes.
Fire your lazor, perhaps we can take out a few paladins before the army is reduced to nothing.

USE CHICKEN LASER ORGAN!

Tory 2010/06/05(Sat)13:49 No. 188269 ID: 63f46a
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Through radio I request the organist to play! He plays Toccata and Fugue in D-minor. Awesome! That must have scorched many of them!

> THE UNDEAD HAVE A METAL BEAST OUTSIDE THE CITY! SLAY IT!

It seems that remaining army splits up, one staying and one heading for me.

wait until they are in range then just start blasting. and run some over. since they are in a large group none are heroes. heroes only work in groups of 6 or less.

>>188269
Open up with the cannon on the largest tower in the city. Open up on the army with all secondary weapons and charge the fucks. Crush them under your treads. KILL! CRUSH! DESTROY!

Time to try out those vulcan cannons! If they come for the tank use the grenades to blast them away.

Installing those heat-seeking missiles was also pretty clever. I'm presuming that our zombies don't emit heat so they shouldn't cause too many friendly casualties even if you go ballistic with them.

Tory 2010/06/06(Sun)02:24 No. 188833 ID: 63f46a
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Vulcans work well! Their armors don't stop bullets. Few survived the onslaught however.

They are now at melee-range, ready to attack.

RAMMING SPEED! crush them under your treads.

Actually, switch on the tesla coil, then go for ramming speed while laughing over the loudspeakers! They'll regret wearing all that metal armour and waving about metal swords soon enough!

>>188833
Yeah turn on the tesla coils. Get on the loudspeakers, let loose your best mad scientist crackle and crush their corpses under your treads!

Tory 2010/06/06(Sun)04:41 No. 188902 ID: 63f46a
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Hahahahahahahahaaaa!
Tesla coils are fucking awesome! I think they are pretty shocked how powerful my weaponry is!

Tory 2010/06/06(Sun)04:42 No. 188903 ID: 63f46a
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>BONG!
>Sizzle.

Tory 2010/06/06(Sun)04:43 No. 188904 ID: 63f46a
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What the... It seems that one of them landed a hit on the tank before dying!
But they are all dead now, crushed and zapped.
What now?

>"HALT!"

MUST BE ONE OF THEM HEROES!

TIME FOR LONG-WINDED MONOLOGUE!

Also can you give us a picture of the outside?

>>188904
See what kind of moron is yelling at you to halt. Don't pop out of any hatch though, that would just be stupid.

focus fire ALL guns on him. you MAY be able to take him out.

Tory 2010/06/06(Sun)10:47 No. 189015 ID: 63f46a
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Okay, I'll use heat se..

> Metal beast! We shall punish you for all the lives you have taken! May Alonthor have mercy!

HAHAHAHAHAAA! Wait?
Are these those heroes you spoke of? They dress like faggots.

Okay, I need a speech!

"WHAHAHAHAHAA YOU PATHETIC, WEAK-MINDED FOOLS! YOU HAVE SEALED YOUR DOOM BY WALKING INTO MY FIELD OF FIRE! SURRENDER NOW AND I WILL LET YOU LIVE AS MY SLAVES!"

If they refuse, fire every weapon you have at the same time.

faggots covered head to toe in magic! assume every last scrap of cloth they have is super powerful. just start shooting and don't stop. focus on the wizard first, you may be magic resistant from the zombie paint but high power wizards can temporarily stop time and shit.

>>189015

Fire all explosives at them.

>>189016
That speach works. Just fire everything you have at the ones at the back as you're saying the last word. Make sure to take out any mages or healers they might have first.

"You dress like faggots! Organist, commence epic boss battle music!"

Then get inside and FIRE CHICKEN LAZOR!

 

>>189024
Yesss...

Tory 2010/06/06(Sun)13:16 No. 189123 ID: 63f46a
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"Whahahaa you pathetic, weak-minded, idiotic, completely stupid fools! You have sealed your doom by walking into my awesome field of fire! Surrender now faggots and I might let you live as my slaves!"

>"Are you completely out of your mind?!? After such attrocities, how can you even expec"
I'll take that as a "no".
"Well that's too bad! Die by my awesome weapon!"

I won't fire everything. It is completely not needed. I'll just fire the cannon. It should deal with them.

Tory 2010/06/06(Sun)13:17 No. 189124 ID: 63f46a
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Ka-boom!

Tory 2010/06/06(Sun)13:18 No. 189126 ID: 63f46a
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Oh... Oh what the fucking hell. I call bullshit.
Well, atleast the mage is pretty wounded. Little burned and mauled, seems to be barely conscious. Now what? I cannot fire the cannon for minute now.

>>189126
speak of his worthiness and promise to teach him the ways of the dark side for his allegiance. Get him to abide by a magical pact (your friend should help you with that) and have a powerful wizard on your side.

If her refuses, you know what to do...

Fire Awesome Heat Seeking Chicken Rockets!

>>189123

I told you you needed to fire everything.

Target the leapy pointy-eared faggot with a bow with the missiles, then open up with the vulcan cannons and grenades on everyone else.

told you about heroes man. okay they shouldn't be able to move while holding that shield up. wait for it to drop or someone to step out then unload your other guns.

Have organist rock out on the organ at a volume high enough to cook them while you deal additional damage with the Tesla coil, missiles, and grenades.

>>189126
See, that's why you should have opened up with everything you had while speaking. Fire all secondary batteries and go to ramming speed. Run over those fucks before they can act!

All excellent plans. OR, you could drive off and do other stuff, since I'd be willing to bet they're trapped in that shield until it wears off and/or the wizard is rational enough to dismiss it.

That shield is transparent so scientifically speaking it shouldn't be able to stop lasers! Fire a laser barrage and see if that'll catch them by surprise.

If any of them do survive then move up to the next stage!

"So I see you have a shield, but that won't do anything when you're outnumbered!" Wait a second for them to make some feeble reply then continue - "Outnumbered by me and my ninja robots of course! Hahahaha!"

Then remember it's ok to hit your minions if you'll take one of these guys out at the same time. If we can keep them delayed for another minute then we'll get them for sure with the cannon.

Tory 2010/06/07(Mon)06:45 No. 189751 ID: 63f46a
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The shield breaks and everyone scrambles away before lasers hit them. Damnit. On good side, the wizard is visibly slow and exhausted.

Ninja-robots are still in the city dealing with any faggots wearing robes ( not women, since it would cause too much attention anyway. )
I have no idea if they are still functional. I can't call them back right now.

I begin to pursue wizard. Any other ideas?

spin really fast and smack armor dude with the tank and finish wizard off then go for robe guy.

>>189751
Go for the wizard and the robed guy. Run them down or gun them down with your secondary armaments.

>>189751
it's a common fact that you kill the support first

If you don't take out the robed figure, he'll heal your wizard. Fire a missle at the man. just run over the armored dude... then again, his armor might actually protect him and allow him to cut the underside

to this I say move backward, fire heat-guided rocket at the robed cleric/bard, fire a gun at the armored dude to slow him down.

If you can fire another missle, use it on the elf to keep it from shooting a magic arrow at you.

oh, and do something 'bout that wizard before he can regain mana...

Tory 2010/06/07(Mon)12:50 No. 189847 ID: 63f46a
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Okay! I'll jus

> SUN-GOD ALONTHOR; I PLEAD FOR YOUR STRENGTH!

Oh he was fa

Tory 2010/06/07(Mon)12:50 No. 189848 ID: 63f46a
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WHAAAT THEEE FUUUUUCK?!

Tory 2010/06/07(Mon)12:51 No. 189850 ID: 63f46a
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Okay.
What the shit did just happen?!

and that is why heroes are so dangerous! did you land right side up? damage assessment? it may be prudent to do a fighting retreat, start backing away towards the tower and shoot at them when they give chase.

>>189850
A paladin just smashed your tank with his hammer making it fly away. Heroes do that sort of shit, defy physics and other insane crap. And as you don't exactly look like a melee scrapper yourself you need some henchmen to take care of people like that while you sit in your tank cackling manically as they die before you.

Which is why you either have to start hiring or learn demon summoning from Sister. That smug fuck in his armour wouldn't be so god damn smug if a cybernectics enhanced demon was ripping off his arms.

Hrm. This guy is a paladin of a sun god, right? Maybe he's weaker during the night or an eclipse or if the sun's light is blocked out.

>>189860
Smoke screen time!
Combined with a flare/flashbang if we got em...

Is Organist okay? If so, play victory theme. The Heroes will think they've won, and lower their guard, then BOOM! Stealthed ninja robot attack.

Tory 2010/06/08(Tue)03:12 No. 190364 ID: 63f46a
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Organist is still in the tower, it does not matter if he plays here or there.

Anyway, that dude hit us really hard. The right side is little dented, laser-organs are offline and movement is little impaired.
I don't know how paint handled that hit.
And yeah, we are not upside-down from what I can tell from gravity.

Oh sorry, I mean left side.

>>190364
Well then the tank can still fight. Recall the ninja bots and get moving, lock on with all avalible weapons on the wizard and the robed guy and fucking fire!!!

I think a tactical withdrawal may be the wisest course of action if we don't kill at least one of them soon.

Tory 2010/06/08(Tue)08:34 No. 190414 ID: 63f46a
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Yeah, I think I am gonna withdraw now. I cannot get out with the tank reasonably fast, so I have to use escape-pod.

Tory 2010/06/08(Tue)08:38 No. 190417 ID: 63f46a
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Aaaand blow up the tank to make sure it won't be used against me. And to fuck up those heroes.
Anyway, what the fuck. Our plan was awesome. Why did we fail so hard?

Also, I probably cannot stay in this world. They are probably gonna seek me afterwards. The evil nation is still way too weak compared to good nation.

Foiled again!

i think it's the fact that you didn't make it big enough. you need to build a BOLO. just so huge that even a god can't lift it.

Heros tend to be moralfags and protect the innocent whenever they can. Even at the cost of letting the bad guy get away. Are you evil enough to use live babby armor?

They tend to be honorable too. If you wanted to challenge them to a fight (fair or not) they would accept it.

You can keep this civil good vs bad fighting or you can take the low road and start targeting innocent people to make the good guys divert resources into protecting them.

>>190417

On the contrary, the plan succeeded. There were just some unexpected setbacks! One thing you accomplished was to almost entirely disable their "mage". You simply now have a list of characters to deal with. The "paladin" clearly uses magic, but uses it to accelerate non-magical objects like his hammer, so your zombies could only block the magic if they were smeared all over the hammer. That might not be a bad idea in fact...

The faggy elf guy is the only unknown left in the situation. He's got a bow which probably means distance attacks. A pittance compared to your cannon, but armor plating might need to be thickened a bit.

The other thing you accomplished was to learn a name. "SUN-GOD ALONTHOR". Gods have a fuck ton of magic, but they always have pre-prescribed and arbitrary limits, like for instance being powerless during the night time. Gods are also a bit of cagey loners, so they don't usually tolerate followers of other deities anywhere they can reach, which excarbates their weakness by making sure that say for instance NIGHT MISTRESS SHAR has nothing in that city left to care about. If you can learn Alonthor's limitations, taking the city should be cake. And maybe you can get enough of a body count to actually pay back the guy who's giving you zombies.

Also you were right that the weather was entirely wrong for mood. Bright and sunny is not a good day to attack a stronghold of Alonthor.

Tory 2010/06/08(Tue)09:50 No. 190444 ID: 63f46a
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You are riOOOOOOFFFFF

Tory 2010/06/08(Tue)09:53 No. 190445 ID: 63f46a
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I mean, you are right. I should have made some research before attack nearest and largest city near my tower.

And that's other problem. They can probably track me now. This tower is sturdy, but it is still very weak from last bunker-buster that broke the shield-mechanisms. I haven't had time to fix it.

So, options are using that device again, or just trying to defend myself against any attackers. And from what I've seen, those attackers can be very strong.

... yeah let's fix that shield thing, also try to make it stronger.

>>190445
How about we set up the machine thing to be used at a moments notice, and try to get the defenses running?

If they attack we can just skedaddle.

>>190455
no wait! even better, if they attack and you don't have enough defenses up. lead the to sister pain!

Tory 2010/06/08(Tue)10:23 No. 190458 ID: 63f46a
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Yes. That would be good.
Then again, getting shield STRONGER than before is going to be extremely hard. And not to mention that shield got pummeled by nukes back then. It was basically forcing void-reactor to work at full power. Which was extremely dangerous. I used shield just to get me more time.
It might take days to fix the shield.
I think you understood me wrong. It is not only these heroes that now can track me, but I think that nation also wants my head now.
The defence systems are not very good. They can dispatch intruders, but not an army full of dick-swinging paladins.
And don't get hopes too up. Sister of Pain is a demon.
Now, what was that shield for? To give me time to finish the device. Either I use that to clean all my worries, or I can defend the tower desperately. Tower must remain in my hands! In our hands!

well then, let us see The Device!

Well what are you trying to get at? That our best option is to come up with some very capable and/or unbreakable fortress defenses? We can do that.

not sure the army would come after you ether. that group of knights way of been their entire army.
if just the heroes show up we can make a bunch of simple but devastating trap.

Tory 2010/06/08(Tue)11:07 No. 190470 ID: 63f46a
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I am not too sure. It was a city. The defenders might have been city-guards. There might be larger army. More larger than 200-300 people. But hey, I did kill innocent people and defenders of good! That's evil!

Unbreakable defences sound pretty cool. But they fucking send my tank rolling around like it was some kind of stone. And there might be more of heroes aswell.

Anyway, the device. I designed it with Sister of Pain helping me. When we made this, Sister was not aware I was using void-reactor to power this. That's why she's so mad.
It functions pretty simply: It transports whole tower to somewhere else. Where? I don't know. It uses remains of "ancient portals" to choose place to transport to. I have no idea what place I'll end up in. I have a way to choose the destination, but it's like choosing one of 10 000 colored boxes without knowing what the fuck is inside them.

I am currently in world 0003. I have used the transportation-device four times. I have no idea which one my home-world is, but gods I hope I never end up there.

hrmmmm, sounds like a last ditch thing. let's see what we are up against before we decide to evac.

anyway, a simple but deadly thing for heroes is traps. a pitfall that leads directly into the void. a spyglass with a hologram of a naked chick that's all blurry and if they try to focus it a spring loaded dagger shoots into their eye. unless his eyeballs are made of metal he can't withstand that.

Tory 2010/06/08(Tue)11:16 No. 190474 ID: 63f46a
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Thousand times I have said it, I cannot control void. I can open it, but not use it in traps. And as said, I cannot withstand siege. Atleast for now. I'll put it on my to-do list.

I think I am going to use this now. I have to wait 25 hours for next transport, but it gives me time to invent something new!

I wonder what Live co. will think of this failure...

no, i mean the pit goes down a chute and dumps them into the generator.

Tory 2010/06/08(Tue)11:23 No. 190481 ID: 63f46a
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Dumping stuff in generator is something I will never do.
But
now
I

Have

Initiated




the transport



Here
we

goooooo~

Rand 2010/06/08(Tue)11:25 No. 190484 ID: 63f46a
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Pause until next thread. Thanks for playing!

Wait, you've got the void generator, right? How much can that thing destroy if it overloads? Say, an army?

Also get some fucking rest.

>>190491
Bah, we can do better than THAT.

Premature ejection.

Next time let's have a plan B. Also we'll need to study our enemies beforehand. If we had put a spoiler on that tank they would never have caught us.

>>190500

It happens to a lot of guys.

Are we playing Hecatomb the quest? Because I would be okay with that. I would be way okay with that. We need to get to work animating some constructs, forming pacts with demons, and forcing eldritch monstrosities into our servitude.

Next world we're trying a bit more subtlety.

>>190491
Next time there will be cyberdemons and hookers and blackjack. You know what forget the blackjack.