>>181954
Yep. What happens is that there's a massive uptick in the number of super-powered people as time for a demonic invasion draws closer. This is one of the reasons why victory is impossible.

To make matters worse? I don't know how long it's been since your last invasion, but humans currently have weapons capable of destroying hell.

Said weapons are not in short supply either - several nations decided to cut back on their stocks because they didn't see the point of being able to eradicate all life on the planet fifty times over when forty times was just as effective.

My advice stands. Finish your training, then retire to earth. Buy a beach house somewhere and relax.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/24(Mon)06:02 No. 182247 ID: 6a5a08
File 127470613372.jpg - (97.83KB , 720x720 , ShadeQuest-8.jpg )

"Ah, but this time is different. The demons have us Shades now! Beings formed by dark magic, no man-made weapon can touch us in our true forms! Now all we need is the Devil's child to open a gateway and unleash our army!"

"Also, I can't swim, so a beach house would be pointless and silly."

>>182247
But don't you guys fear that if you gain too much ground against the mortals, God might send an angel to fight alongside them? You're certainly not immune to holy wrath.

And then there's the problem of the freaks with super-powers. You think they might try to stop you?

>>182335
and to combound that, who is to say the super-powers are a mortal invention?

I highly recommend you disable the freaks with superpowers somehow. You might be able to oh, for instance, take over their bodies and use their powers against everyone else. That way there will be no chance of stopping your victory!

>>182247
Oh? Shades can survive inside the center of the sun? Good to know!

A home in the mountains then, because if you think God's going to let his regrets destroy his creation you are clearly insane.
If you're scared, then go neutral in this conflict. Then you can join the winning side when the time is right and come out ahead no matter what.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/24(Mon)14:04 No. 182360 ID: 6a5a08
File 127473509237.jpg - (98.33KB , 720x720 , ShadeQuest-9.jpg )

>>182335
"In case you haven't noticed, Hell isn't exactly paradise. We just want one little country to live in, Is that so much to ask?"

>>182342
"Actually, that's pretty much the entire plan. After that we make it up as we go along."

>>182350
"Well, since Shades aren't tangible unless we want to be, yes. Unless one of us was so stupid as to take a physical form in the center of the sun. I really don't want to sit and do nothing for another extremely long period of time, unless I have a really good reason."

"Well, I should be off to the training grounds. You want to join me, or should I just put you somewhere? Where did you come from anyway?"

>>182360

When the talking pie chart popped the bubble containing us we fell into Hell and landed on your head. Your head sure was pretty tangible a minute ago.

>>182377
You have learned to control your tangibility...

Right?

>>182377
since we were dropped by god that pretty much makes us partially divine so we could effect him because we are not a mortal creation.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/24(Mon)17:08 No. 182446 ID: 6a5a08
File 127474612866.jpg - (141.66KB , 720x720 , Hellworldmap-1.jpg )

>>182390
"No, not really. I'm still in training after all."

>>182377
"For your information, I wasn't trying to be intangible, I was practicing my shapeshifting, which I'm really quite bad at right now, so there."

"You... Orb Fragment people keep talking about God being a pie chart. Are you sure you're sane?"

Welcome to the world map (of hell), please select your destination! The location with the crystal is the location of the currently controlled character.

>>182360
That's all you want?
Pfft, you're going about this the entirely wrong way then.
If you invade, then humanity will fight until either you or they are dead; since they have divine intervention on their side, that would mean you.

If you want to meet with success, the best way is to take on non-threatening appearances and have a large population suddenly appear in one of the low-population areas of Africa and immediately start building settlements.
People will soon contact you, to which you respond in broken English.
Once communication channels are up tell them that you are refugees from a dead world, and you just want a place where you can live in peace. Offer advanced technology or knowledge of magic as a show of good intention, and open up trade routes.
If you can cure diseases, you could instantly gain massive support by curing AIDS victims.

Nobody in Africa would be able to oppose you, and nobody with any power cares enough about Africans to get involved.

In less than a month you would have a secure power base and be adored by humanitarians the world over, all without violence.

Of course, the reason why you're going about this the wrong way is because the True Demons don't actually want to succeed, since they don't 'want' anything and God will keep their 'decisions' from being successful.

You seem reasonably bright, so you're probably putting the information I've provided together with your unvoiced observations to see how well they mesh.

While you're doing that, lets head on over to your training. Sounds like it would be more fun than sitting on a semi-solid lava crust.

>>182446
No, we are not sane. We are absolutly bonkers. This has the side effect of making us able to find solutions in unexpected ways. Also, some of us are totally out of our gourds, so to speak.

Also, god isnt a pie chart, hes a kitten, nya!~

>>182533
Why are people assuming that God is a pie chart or a kitten?
We are not able to comment on what God may be, all we know is that we were sent here by a talking pie chart that likes to tamper with fate.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And so am I!

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/25(Tue)02:16 No. 182767 ID: 6a5a08
File 127477897217.jpg - (112.78KB , 720x720 , Traininggroundsmap-1.jpg )

>>182447
"That's actually a brilliant idea, but the problem would be that the only person in the world who can open a gateway for us isn't in Africa, and it's unlikely anyone is going to let them leave the facility they're in."

>>182553
"Interesting theory. Have you found any evidence to this?"

>>182542
"So, you were sent by an animate inanimate object who wants to mess with fate? That's the strangest thing I've ever heard."

>>182614
"Well, at least the two of you are willing to admit your flaws."

We are now in the Training Grounds. We can go to the Barracks, the Stage, the Obstacle Course, or the Training Arena.

Also, I am quite sure I'm neither God nor a Kitten, although for all we know God is a Kitten. Who's to say?

>>182767
So you send in a strike force they can't counter to sneak 'em out.
If only you had troops that could become intangible so they could pass through walls and be immune to most human weapons; that would make such an operation simple and potentially undetectable.

Oh, wait, you do.
If you can become invisible too, that's just icing on the cake. If you can make people intangible then the mission would be completely trivial; float in, grab him, float out, done.

For now, hit the training area.

For the record if you try and establish a colony in Africa, you'll quickly find that the continent's rich mineral resources including diamonds and gold mean that everybody with power cares about Africa a whole lot, they just don't say so publically.

That whole place isn't a war zone because the powers that be leave it alone after all. Instability breeds profit.

I suggest you take over Brazil. Nobody cares about them, as long as you keep the cocaine trade going. But hey, that's what Hell does best right?

>>182767
Go for the arena, I guess.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/25(Tue)20:18 No. 183164 ID: 6a5a08
File 127484393670.jpg - (99.44KB , 720x720 , HellArena-1.jpg )

>>182863
"It's not that easy. To get one of us over there without any cracks it takes a huge amount of power and a big ritual. It's easier being that the barrier between worlds is weak in the facility, but still, only about two could go, and then there's the whole getting the kid out and stuff."

>>182873
"I don't have organs, I don't think I can get high."

"Alright, so there's no official tourney or training exercises or anything going on right now. People mostly just challenge each other to a practice fight."

>>183164
Well before we embarrass ourselves by trying to tell you how to fight without knowing what you can do, how about a trip through the obstacle course first?

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/26(Wed)16:06 No. 183532 ID: 6a5a08
File 127491518850.jpg - (150.48KB , 720x720 , AwesomeRobot.jpg )

As Shade arrives at the Obstacle Coarse he meets a rather odd fellow.

"Hm... never seen this guy before."

"Please state business at obstacle course."

extra training for invasion.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/26(Wed)16:41 No. 183552 ID: 6a5a08
File 12749173099.jpg - (149.79KB , 720x720 , AwesomeRobot-2.jpg )

"Please present identification or authorization code."

"I don't have any."

"Obstacle Course is currently under renovations and only available to authorized personnel. We apologize for any inconvenience. Please return later, perhaps situation will have changed."

well, at least he is doing his job right. let's try a different place. how about the barracks?

>>183553
Yes, lets.

And also:
>>183532
>Obstacle Coarse

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/26(Wed)17:14 No. 183573 ID: 6a5a08
File 127491927125.jpg - (124.90KB , 720x720 , Shade\'sRoom-1.jpg )

"Well, this is my ugly crappy room. I mostly stay at my secret hideout where I found you, but this place locks, so it's good for storage."

anything here or just empty? if empty then i guess we can see the stage.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/26(Wed)17:27 No. 183587 ID: 6a5a08
File 127492007235.jpg - (126.64KB , 720x720 , Shade\'sRoom-2.jpg )

"I do have this walking stick I found a while back. As you can see (I think you see... you don't have eyes), however, I have no legs and do not walk, so I just stuck it in the corner in here."

oh snap! that's not a walking stick, that's a staff. like what wizards use. notice the swirl in the wood?

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/26(Wed)17:40 No. 183596 ID: 6a5a08
File 127492081796.jpg - (95.85KB , 720x720 , StaffCloseUp.jpg )

"Oh, yeah, I guess it does look like a staff. So do you think I could use it to cast magic?"

well no, a staff is a focus. like a lightning rod for magic. a mage can cast without one but having one makes them more powerful.

Try waving it around. Some staffs have spells built-in.

Hey wait. If it doesn't fire magic or anything, stick us on top of it. You'll have an awesome new cane.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/27(Thu)06:59 No. 184003 ID: 6a5a08
File 127496876441.jpg - (129.79KB , 720x720 , Shade\'sRoom-3.jpg )

Shade waved the staff around randomly.

"Nothing. Hey, there is a little spot on top for a crystal or something."

did we click in? try waggling it now.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/27(Thu)07:25 No. 184016 ID: 6a5a08
File 127497030687.jpg - (130.11KB , 720x720 , Shade\'sRoom-5.jpg )

"Yep, looks like you're secure."

Yay for reusing old pictures due to laziness.

okay swing it and around and we'll see if we can do anything.

HHHHHRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

>>184016
ICE BALL! GOOOOOOO!

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/27(Thu)15:45 No. 184115 ID: 6a5a08
File 127500034225.jpg - (148.52KB , 720x720 , Magic Spell.jpg )

>>184017

"Whoa, you're glowing."

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/27(Thu)15:46 No. 184116 ID: 6a5a08
File 127500037527.jpg - (128.34KB , 720x720 , Shade\'sRoom-6.jpg )

"What in the Hell is that?"

>>184116
Well, you're in hell... sooooo....
I dunno... ice? stone?... is it cold?

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/27(Thu)17:07 No. 184151 ID: 6a5a08
File 127500521922.jpg - (130.85KB , 720x720 , Shade\'sRoom-7.jpg )

It's Alfredsson M. Shineshell!

Develop a close and platonic bond with the turtle.

>>184151
Huh? Why is he here?

He's not supposed to be real, he was just in a VR game!

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/27(Thu)20:12 No. 184236 ID: 6a5a08
File 127501633478.jpg - (130.17KB , 720x720 , Shade\'sRoom-8.jpg )

"Seems pretty real to me. You know him?"

Blame magic.

>>184236
Why is he white? Well, anyway... if you want to be evil, flip him over onto his back.

Then let's go check out the stage.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/28(Fri)07:16 No. 184395 ID: 6a5a08
File 127505616644.jpg - (138.38KB , 720x720 , Shade\'sRoom-9.jpg )

Shade tips the turtle over.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/28(Fri)07:16 No. 184397 ID: 6a5a08
File 127505621493.jpg - (135.15KB , 720x720 , Shade\'sRoom-11.jpg )

"......"

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/28(Fri)07:17 No. 184398 ID: 6a5a08
File 12750562534.jpg - (116.77KB , 720x720 , Stage-1.jpg )

"We're at the stage now."

The large stone theater stage is being cleaned by a servant imp.

ask him what's up?

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/28(Fri)16:34 No. 184547 ID: 6a5a08
File 127508965774.jpg - (87.38KB , 720x720 , Stage-2.jpg )

"What's up?"

"... Oh, eh, are ye talkin' t' me?"

"There's nobody else around, so yeah."

"Oh... em, jus' cleanin' up the stage fer the announ'smen' dis affe'noon."

>>184547
What announcement?

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/28(Fri)16:42 No. 184552 ID: 6a5a08
File 127509017961.jpg - (87.48KB , 720x720 , Stage-3.jpg )

"What announcement?"

"Ye dunno, eh? Da big boss, he's commin' down ta pick who's goin' on da big job ta da ove'worl'. Dey say e's got summin' planned ta pick who goes 'n all."

sounds cool, give him a fist bump and let's go.

>>184552
Maybe he wants to FITE in the practice arena?

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/28(Fri)19:00 No. 184614 ID: 6a5a08
File 127509840584.jpg - (86.89KB , 720x720 , Stage-4.jpg )

"Hey, wanna go fight in the practice arena? I could use a sparring partner."

"Eh, sorry man, gotta finish an' I got a lot o' groun' ta cover. I'm na much ova fighter an'ow. But I 'ear there's some loony imp chick who's lookin' fer some 'un ta spar with. No 'un takes 'er seriously. Can't blame 'em. Prob'ly find 'er at the arena."

cool, thanks dude.

>>184614
Oh, hey, we found a romantic interest for you! Score!

>>184614
To the arena.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/28(Fri)19:55 No. 184649 ID: 6a5a08
File 12751017439.jpg - (151.11KB , 720x720 , HellArena-2.jpg )

>>184620
"I dunno... imps are, like, bottom of the ladder. I mean, I'm not racist or anything, but..."

Shade proceeds to the arena, where he finds the imp girl being confronted in the fight ring by a minotaur.

"*grunt*Look, this is the last time I'mma telling you. Get out of here and *snort* let real fighters train, or I'll make you."

"Well then bring it, mooseface. Or are you scared people'll make fun of you for hitting a girl?"

Wow, she really is crazy. Everyone knows you don't piss off a minotaur if you don't want to be turned into gore in the sand and rocks.

>>184649
There's plenty of room. Offer to fight her.

Also, you're not exactly a high-ranker yourself either.

>>184649
I'm interested in seeing how this works out.

>>184649
Steal the minotaur's loincloth. He will be too embarrassed to continue his... Bullying.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/05/29(Sat)13:35 No. 184945 ID: 6a5a08
File 127516532417.jpg - (98.26KB , 720x720 , HellArena-3.jpg )

Shade approaches the two.

"Hey, uh, imp girl. I'll spar with you if you want."

"Why thank you, finally someone not treating me like a fly. Hear that moose? I've got a sparring partner and you don't. So let the real fighters train."

"*snort* Fine, no use making a scene. But you better watch your back, pest."

With that the minotaur grumbles to himself and lumbers away.

Greetings! It is I, your narrator. Been a while since I directly spoke to you. So, now, you get to choose their names. Shade's name and the imp girl's, that is. So... any ideas?
In other news, background is fixed.
In other other news, bold face is fixed.
Good God I make a lot of mistakes when I rush.

if you want normal names then: Zeke and Clara.
if you want demonic names then: Restuphal and Gallorgia.

we kinda don't know your moves so we can't tell you how to fight better right now. after we watch we can give you some ideas on how to improve. one piece of advise i can give is: NEVER underestimate your opponent, she could have a hidden move that would of let her take out that minotaur.

>>184948
>Restuphal and Gallorgia.

Those aren't bad at all... but both are kindof gender neutral.

How about Rastuvial and Gillergia?

Rast and Gill for short.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/06/05(Sat)12:19 No. 188228 ID: 6a5a08
File 127576557424.jpg - (128.25KB , 720x720 , HellArena-4.jpg )

I have finally defeated the procrastination monster and updated.

Shade is now Rastuphal, or Rast for short, and the imp is Gillergia, or Gill for short. They introduce themselves, blah, get ready to fight, blah blah, let's move on with this, blah blah blah!

"Alright, Smokey, since you were kind enough to get rid of that idiot, you can have the first move," Gill offers, with a taunting gesture. Rast grips the staff with both hands.

Alright guys, I don't know much about combat. Any ideas as to what to do?

well, since you are unskilled then the only thing you can do is clumsy power hits.

anyway. suggest you charge but then stop right before you reach her and then smack with the stick. rushing is a common rookie mistake and by doing it makes you look like a rookie and then the stop will catch her off guard because she would be ready to counter.

>>188228
ok ok...
move up to her
Yell attack
hit her with the stick.
stay in position for a few seconds
move back to where you were originally
and that's how it works...

>>188306
no your fool, this is side-scrolling fighter, notice the health bars?

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/06/05(Sat)15:50 No. 188327 ID: 6a5a08
File 127577823082.jpg - (127.88KB , 720x720 , HellArena-5.jpg )

Rast charges forward, but suddenly stops, Gill's counter-attack missing. Rast then attacks with a powerful downward swing. Gill is quick and manages to block the clumsy power attack, though still takes some damage, and is slightly off balance from the strength of the attack.

>>188327
Quickly, while the staff is still close to her, channel some magic through it and launch lightning into her face!

or maybe just glow and distract her HHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

>>188327
String it
Spin hit
back hand slash

Notice how we're now in contact with Gill?

@Gill: Hey! Gill! We're a magic artifact, and we wanted you to know that Rast is very attracted to you. Just letting you know.

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/06/05(Sat)18:20 No. 188448 ID: 6a5a08
File 127578721352.jpg - (129.57KB , 720x720 , HellArena-6.jpg )

The staff glows and releases a Mana Bolt spell, hitting Gill and knocking her down. At such close range, it also shocks Rast, but very slightly.

Rast has learned Mana Bolt! Or at least figured out that he knew it before.

>>188403
"What?"

"What?"

>>188448
@Gill: Of course! Why else would he challenge you to a fight? Win, lose, or draw, he can spin it so that he can ask you out without losing face over the general disdain for Imps - you're either a worthy fighter on your own merits, or he can tell people you're his by right of conquest and nobody will object because you're an imp. ... Personally? I think you should kick his ass, and claim him as your spoils of war. If you can take the staff away, then you might be able to use magic against him...

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/06/06(Sun)10:23 No. 189003 ID: 6a5a08
File 127584499364.jpg - (133.16KB , 720x720 , HellArena-7.jpg )

You cannot speak to Gill anymore, since she is no longer in contact with the staff or fragment.

Hey! What are you trying to do? I told you I-

Gill does a sort of flip thing to get off the ground and knocks Rast out of the way while he isn't paying attention.

[dammit seven! focus!]
dammit lost our advantage cause one voice decided to be a dumbass.

QUICK shove her while she is upside-down!

>>189003
You have a staff, you can redirect the force of that hit. Just spin with the staff so the force dissipates and becomes part of the swing. Hit her Homerun style

>>189005
HA! No, that was because nobody else decided to say anything.

>>189235
[you could of said something to both of them, and i was asleep dude.]

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/06/06(Sun)16:15 No. 189253 ID: 6a5a08
File 127586614067.jpg - (132.75KB , 720x720 , HellArena-8.jpg )

Rast tires to use the staff to knock Gill over, but she pushes herself into the air with her arm and lands on the staff, pulling Rast's face into her fist.

How is that even fing possible?!

Because I enjoy seeing pain and suffering, and also this is currently fighting game physics.
And also, Questers, you are now in contact with Gill.

*tries

I blame lack of fingers.

@gill: OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT!!!!

quick, while her hand is out grab it and flip her over you!

>>189253
@Gill: Of course! Why else would he challenge you to a fight? Win, lose, or draw, he can spin it so that he can ask you out without losing face over the general disdain for Imps - you're either a worthy fighter on your own merits, or he can tell people you're his by right of conquest and nobody will object because you're an imp. ... Personally? I think you should kick his ass, and claim him as your spoils of war. That would make things easier on him, too. So, if you can take the staff away, then you might be able to use magic against him...

>>189253
how odd
we have to choose who we support
I say we just stay subjective and support the person we're currently with... and sneak bad thoughts the entire time

>>189253
wait, aren't shades untouchable when in a certain form?

>>189253
@Gill BUTTERFACE BUTTERFACE GILL IS A BUTTERFACE

(attempting a distraction)

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/06/07(Mon)05:08 No. 189729 ID: 6a5a08
File 127591251467.jpg - (121.72KB , 720x720 , HellArena-9.jpg )

>>189255
>>189263
>>189705
"W-what?" exclaims Gill, confused at the strange voices in ehr mind.

With help from your distractions, Rast is able to toss Gill over him, face-first into the ground without much resistance.

>>189449
[i]I'm not very good at shapeshifting, so I don't have that ability yet.[/]

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/06/07(Mon)05:10 No. 189731 ID: 6a5a08
File 127591261831.jpg - (34.64KB , 124x124 , unamusedpiechart.jpg )

Good Gods I fail. Well, you get what it means, I'm not editing for that little error.

smack like you are playing Golf. a overhead wold miss if she rolls.

>>189816
FORE

>>189878
... wazit called when you hit a girl golf club style in the crotch inhumanely hard?

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/06/08(Tue)06:03 No. 190389 ID: 6a5a08
File 127600221822.jpg - (126.40KB , 720x720 , HellArena-10.jpg )

"FORE!"

A Talking Pie Chart 2010/06/08(Tue)06:05 No. 190391 ID: 6a5a08
File 127600232692.jpg - (168.89KB , 720x720 , EndofShadequest1.jpg )

>>189999
Critical Hit!

Ow.... i hope she isn't vengeful. i mean, she wanted to fight but still.