Stuff Prevous' pie hole, naturally. We've got the money.

Also buy George something sugary. Nothing could go wrong with that.

>>28222

Deliver FLAMING DEATH to MIBs.

Drink the Cat Lotion. Rub it all over yourself. Become the lord and master of cats.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)00:41 No. 28323 ID: cd08c0
File 12500628789.gif - (5.05KB , 400x400 , 161.gif )

>>28226 >>28273
> FEED PEY'J, REWARD GEORGE
Prevous still doesn't get the joke.

Kara decides to go back to the Seven Deadly Sammiches. Icecream is for desert, anyway!
... Prevous says they might be able to get some desert there, anyway, if they ask the right way.

On the way out, Lance suddenly starts asking if we have access to a woodchipper.
The way he's waving that lotion around is highly disconcerting.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)02:06 No. 28384 ID: cd08c0
File 125006800434.gif - (6.16KB , 400x400 , 162.gif )

> Ignore Lance
Lance is fucking creepy.

SO HERE WE ARE AT THE SEVEN SAMMICHES.

The cashier starts yelling at Prevous as soon as he enters the store.
This is JESLYN, Prevous's sister, and she kicked his ass out last week for eating the entire fucking inventory. Furthermore, the only way she's serving Prevous is if he pays his back tab, which comes to $500 dollars, and is surely far more money than he has on him.

> Reward George
Prevous, showing initiative, asks Jeslyn if she has any icecream.
Jeslyn says she has a lot of things, including a stash of icecream that he'll never get his hands on, unless he has some money.


>>28277
> Deliver FLAMING DEATH to MIBs.
That's the plan, as soon Prevous gets his damn food.

>>28297
> Become the lord and master of cats.
... Lance is looking at the lotion rather oddly, now.

>>28384
500 bux doesn't seem like much of a dent in our funds.

>>28384
FOOD UP.

>>28384
As a reward for Prevous' help, pay them an EXTRA 500$ for the next time Prevous binges.

Next time you can, go back to magic shiz place and ask to enchant prevous to make him 5x lighter, so he's an easier shield to carry.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)02:59 No. 28407 ID: cd08c0
File 12500711413.gif - (5.14KB , 400x400 , 163.gif )

>>28386 >>28387
> 500 bux doesn't seem like much of a dent in our funds. FOOD UP.
Jeslyn changes her tune very quickly.

>>28391
> As a reward for Prevous' help, pay them an EXTRA 500$ for the next time Prevous binges.
In fact, Jeslyn declares Kara her BEST FRIEND FOREVER.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)03:00 No. 28410 ID: cd08c0
File 125007125445.gif - (6.77KB , 400x400 , 164.gif )

> SAMMICHES AND ICECREAM
George and Prevous are HAPPILLY given their sandwiches. And icecream. And Jeslyn is sure to mention, repeatedly, that if there's anything else Kara needs, she'll gladly sell to her.
In total, Prevous' meal, George's icecream, and then Prevous' icecream comes to $420. Which is still nothing compared to Kara's SHITLOAD OF CASH. Everyone is filled up on sammiches and icecream.
Except Lance, who apparently fills up on something else.
Kara has $12100.

> SIDEQUEST COMPLETED: FEED PREVOUS
Prevous is now 100% loyal and ready to fuck shit up. What's next?!

Murder some MIBS. Lets roll.

>>28410
>And Jeslyn is sure to mention, repeatedly, that if there's anything else Kara needs, she'll gladly sell to her.
How much for a threesome with George?

Hug George and tell him you love him. For a newlywed couple, you two haven't been very amorous.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)16:28 No. 28752 ID: cd08c0
File 125011968163.gif - (7.22KB , 400x400 , 165.gif )

>>28484
> Hug George and tell him you love him.
He is a cutie~ Even if he can't talk.

>>28429
> How much for a threesome with George?
"$5000, and I'll do anything you want me to."
Funny, they're not... usually this receptive.


... Kara hears some sort of rumbling outside.

>>28752
Apologize about the doors ahead of time and launch a salvo from our new FIRE SHOTTY through the fragile glass, adding EVEN MORE shrapnel to it.

>>28752
Cradle George in your left arm and start shooting at the MiBs. Aliens style.
Maybe go for some cover if you can be bothered to.

>>28752
Yell "NOT NOW, WE'RE BUSY! DON'T YOU NEED A WARRANT OR SOME STUPID SHIT LIKE THAT?"

>>28752
Ask if the phone has recently been used.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)17:44 No. 28784 ID: cd08c0
File 125012428289.gif - (7.82KB , 400x400 , 166.gif )

>>28754
> Apologize about the doors ahead of time
What? Why-- OH GOD DAMNIT

> launch a salvo from our new FIRE SHOTTY through the fragile glass
The kickback on this thing is INSANE. Kara's shot goes a little high, but she still manages to completely obliterate one of the agents, thanks to pure destructive area.
It'll probably take awhile to get the hang of this.

>>28756
> "NOT NOW, WE'RE BUSY! DON'T YOU NEED A WARRANT OR SOME STUPID SHIT LIKE THAT?"

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)17:47 No. 28787 ID: cd08c0
File 125012446751.gif - (6.99KB , 400x400 , 167.gif )

"Lady, we MAKE the warrants."


Huh. That's a new type of agent. Kara doesn't think she's seen any like--

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)17:48 No. 28788 ID: cd08c0
File 125012448917.gif - (7.60KB , 400x400 , 168.gif )

CRAP.

>>28788
Who bombed the bombers?

>>28788
Become used to the shotgun by using it repeatedly.
Apologise for shop.

>>28788
Toss George to safety.
Rally your party.
And commence to FUCKIN' SHIT UP.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)19:06 No. 28813 ID: cd08c0
File 125012919373.gif - (4.64KB , 400x400 , 169.gif )

... Ow.

>>28789
> Explosions?
The Scrubbers -- the big burly guys with grenade launchers -- just fired on us. The store is now missing most of its front wall.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)19:07 No. 28814 ID: cd08c0
File 125012922841.gif - (6.31KB , 400x400 , 170.gif )

>>28793
> Toss George to safety.
George runs to take cover behind the cashier's counter. He should be safe.

> Rally your party.
That IS why we recruited these losers, right?
Prevous and Lance leap into the fray!

>>28790 >>28793
> USE SHOTGUN REPEATEDLY TO FUCK SHIT UP
This isn't working! Firing continuously just makes the recoil worse!

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)19:10 No. 28818 ID: cd08c0
File 125012944013.gif - (5.21KB , 400x400 , 171.gif )

PREVOUS IS FIRED ON! OH GOD NOT PEY'J

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)19:12 No. 28820 ID: cd08c0
File 125012952350.gif - (6.77KB , 400x400 , 172.gif )

... oh, okay then.

... the rumbling from before is getting louder.

>>28814
Then kick them to death with your face.
And shoot them at a closer range.

Hit that sweeper next to you with the butt of your shotgun. He doesn't even deserve the bullet. Then keep mowing down mofos.

Tell Lance that they're all hiding cats from him.

>This isn't working! Firing continuously just makes the recoil worse!
New strategy: Don't fire unless you are right next to what you want dead.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)20:48 No. 28850 ID: cd08c0
File 125013531238.gif - (6.21KB , 400x400 , 173.gif )

>>28822
> KICK THEM WITH YOUR FACE
That's using your head!

The supervisor in the back is yelling orders.
"SHOOT SIGURD. SHE'S THE TARGET! SHOOT SIGURD."

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)20:48 No. 28851 ID: cd08c0
File 125013533497.gif - (5.28KB , 400x400 , 174.gif )

>>28828
> "LANCE. THEY HAVE CATS."
... huh. That.. that seemed to do something.

Taking a moment to keep her gun steady, Kara takes out the nearest Sweeper at close range. There is very little left of him.

... that rumbling is really deafening now. What the hell--

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)20:50 No. 28853 ID: cd08c0
File 125013540389.gif - (9.07KB , 400x400 , 175.gif )

WHAT THE HELL.




> Kara canceled fight: Interrupted by cats.

>>28853
Throw Lance among them, tell them to WELCOME THEIR NEW KING.
Continue shooting after that, but only the mooks.

Say "Oh no! A big pile of targets clustered together! Why I'd need some kind of crazy high-powered shotgun t-HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Then turn the cats to chunky salsa with your shotty.

>>28853
I'd say the lotion is a AMAZING SUCCESS.

>>28863
Well, I doubt he was supposed to drink it...

>>28858
Do you really want to do that where Lance can see you?
Killing hirelings is bad for business.

Use remaining lotion as a vaginal douche later.

Is that rudy?

>>28868

And Tom

>>28866
So you can have pussies in your...

I love this board. I know I do. Otherwise I'd leave.

>>28853
Mental note:

New shotgun fun, but kick makes it harder to kill things or cause property destruction where you want it to be.

Get an anti-recoil enchantment on it later. Then it will be even more fun.

>anti-recoil enchantment

Bob you are a motherfucking genius.

Suggestion 2009/08/12(Wed)22:00 No. 28890 ID: 9a71e2
File 125013961829.jpg - (19.45KB , 270x270 , 1238861474198.jpg )

>>28880

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)22:22 No. 28897 ID: cd08c0
File 125014092628.gif - (3.62KB , 400x400 , 176.gif )

>>28863
> I'd say the lotion is a AMAZING SUCCESS.
Yes. Yes it is.

>>28857
> Throw Lance among them, tell them to WELCOME THEIR NEW KING.
Lance is firing wildly into the horde.
"KARA! KARA SAVE ME! THE CATS ARE EVIL KARA SAVE ME SAVE ME SHOOT THE CATS WHAT ARE YOU --"

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)22:23 No. 28899 ID: cd08c0
File 125014100941.gif - (5.86KB , 400x400 , 177.gif )

> Ignore Lance
> Lance is fucking creepy.

There is a cacophonous "NYA~~!!"
And Lance disappears within the horde of cats.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)22:24 No. 28900 ID: cd08c0
File 125014103834.gif - (4.95KB , 400x400 , 178.gif )

> Continue shooting, but only the mooks.
Before Kara does that, she'd really like to GET OUT OF THE WAY.
The horde of cats presses onward, brutally crushing everything in its path.
Kara dives to the side before she's swept away.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)22:24 No. 28901 ID: cd08c0
File 125014105762.gif - (3.52KB , 400x400 , 179.gif )

...

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)22:24 No. 28902 ID: cd08c0
File 125014107692.gif - (3.45KB , 400x400 , 180.gif )

Kara has no idea what just happened.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/12(Wed)22:25 No. 28903 ID: cd08c0
File 125014111517.gif - (4.07KB , 400x400 , 181.gif )

All that's left is the Scrubber and his supervisor. The Scrubber is still heavilly wounded from the fight before, but the Supervisor managed to escape by pressing up against the buildings, and is completely unharmed.
All the other MIBs were swept away.

Prevous was trampled directly by the horde, but is inexplicable still here and conscious.
Barely.
Lance is nowhere to be seen.

>>28903
OPEN FIRE at the point exactly between the supervisor and his lackey.

>>28903
Shotgun the scrubber, threaten the supervisor at gunpoint, and Rekaens I love you.

>>28903

Obliterate the Scrubber, toss Prevous to safety, then threaten the Supervisor.

Wipe out the scrubber, threaten Supervisor, ask Hope to dispense healing.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)00:04 No. 28933 ID: cd08c0
File 125014707847.gif - (7.79KB , 400x400 , 182.gif )

>>28918
> toss Prevous
You... you're serious? Prevous just survived a giant sweeping cat horde of death, and remained stationary through it, with what Kara can only assume is pure fat, mass, and determination.
There is no fucking way.

>>28907 >>28918
> Obliterate the Scrubber
That Kara can do. She'll just take her shotgun and -- GOD DAMN RECOIL.

>>28885
> Get an anti-recoil enchantment
That sounds like a REALLY GOOD IDEA.

Kara's badly injured. She can barely hold onto this thing, let alone aim it properly.
Even as tough as she is, she won't last much longer. That Scrubber is aiming at her. She'll have to...

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)00:05 No. 28934 ID: cd08c0
File 125014711569.gif - (4.15KB , 400x400 , 183.gif )

... Prevous!
With a mighty battle cry, Prevous leaps on the Scrubber!
"BEEEEEEF!"

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)00:05 No. 28935 ID: cd08c0
File 125014713994.gif - (4.37KB , 400x400 , 184.gif )

>>28907 >>28918
>> threaten the Supervisor
... right.

...
"You think I'm just another Sweeper, don't you, Miss Sigurd. I don't even have a gun.
But I didn't climb to the highest rank of the MIB for nothing."

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)00:06 No. 28936 ID: cd08c0
File 125014715745.gif - (3.63KB , 400x400 , 185.gif )

"Alright, Miss Sigurd. Let's see what you can do."

Give him the finger.

>>28936

Didn't we get a free magic detector earlier?

Put it to use on this fucker, shortly before attempting to kill him with flaming death.

>>28936
Ignore his taunts and shoot him. He's just trying to intimidate you.

>>28936
Shoot around his feet.

Totally make out with him.

He wont see it coming. Promise.

>>28935
"So just how did you get to the highest rank of the MIB?"
He's a high-ranking villian, he should have at least a small exposition compulsion. Maybe we can find out his weakness.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)01:18 No. 28949 ID: cd08c0
File 125015148157.gif - (6.84KB , 400x400 , 186.gif )

>>28937
> Give him the finger.
Happily.

>>28938
> Didn't we get a magic detector?
We did. It says this guy is radiating about five point seven thaums a second, whatever the hell that means.

>>28938 >>28939
> Shoot this fucker.
Unfortunately, he's fast enough to dodge, at least for as long as Kara's suffering from recoil. She does, however, manage to blow a crater in the wall behind him, raining shrapnel down on him.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)01:18 No. 28950 ID: cd08c0
File 125015150072.gif - (7.92KB , 400x400 , 187.gif )

>>28944
> "So just how did you get to the highest rank of the MIB?"
"Devotion."


OW GOD IT'S LIKE A THOUSAND HANGOVERS AT ONCE.

>>28950
DOWN THAT SUPERCOFFEE.

DRINK THE FUCKING SUPER COFFEE OH GOD

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)03:19 No. 28965 ID: cd08c0
File 125015879111.gif - (4.58KB , 400x400 , 188.gif )

>>28951 >>28952
> drink coffee
The... the coffee? Kara had almost forgotten about it.
This isn't like a normal hangover. She was just using that as an analog, you know?
She's completely sober now. Besides, the last time she drank it...
But... but...

"Well, Miss Sigurd, I must say I'm disappointed. I honestly expected you to put up a better fight than this.
But if this is all you can manage, I suppose I won't hesitate. Your little quest is about to end."

...

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)03:24 No. 28970 ID: cd08c0
File 12501590462.gif - (31.58KB , 400x400 , 189.gif )

> why not



> animated

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)03:24 No. 28971 ID: cd08c0
File 125015906893.gif - (3.92KB , 400x400 , 190.gif )

i can feel pain
but it is a different kind of pain
it is not pain but PAIN
within that pain is clarity

i have drunk away my sorrows
but i am drunk no longer
i am the opposite of drunk

i can see things as they truly are



SIGURD is here. She is injured, but those injuries will not hinder her will to fight.
There is a SNAKE here. He is not a dragon, but merely a snake.
There is a DORF here. He was Sigurd's ally. He has fallen in glorious battle.
Sigurd's SWORD is here, discarded beside her.

It is because of the SNAKE that she is injured. It is because of the SNAKE that her comrade has fallen.
He is saying something, but it is of no consequence.
He is not a dragon, but merely a snake.
Sigurd wishes for vengance.

Instruct her how.

>>28971
Grab the sword and CUT UP THAT SNAKE

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)03:49 No. 28976 ID: cd08c0
File 125016058525.gif - (3.78KB , 400x400 , 191.gif )

>>28973
> take your sword
of course. GRAM has never let me down
i shall use it in rightous vengance

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)03:51 No. 28977 ID: cd08c0
File 125016066071.gif - (4.68KB , 400x400 , 192.gif )

> vengance
with a mighty roar, GRAM unleashes its fury
its power makes it unwieldy, but it is no problem for one such as i

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)03:51 No. 28978 ID: cd08c0
File 125016068971.gif - (3.62KB , 400x400 , 193.gif )

it is attempting to strike at me now, with sneaky tricks and mental games
how cute

it will not work on one as devoted as i
how shall i dispatch the snake?

>>28978
SLICE ITS ARMS OFF AND RIP OUT ITS SKULL.

Blast him!

>>28978
Crush it beneath your heel.

>>28983
Actually, scratch that, cut out it's heart and eat it.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)04:39 No. 28987 ID: cd08c0
File 125016357431.gif - (3.83KB , 400x400 , 194.gif )

>>28981
> blast him
simplistic but effective

>>28980
> slice his arms off
one arm is already severed
the other comes shortly

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)04:40 No. 28988 ID: cd08c0
File 125016359981.gif - (4.67KB , 400x400 , 195.gif )

>>28980
> rip out his skull
it attempts to fight as i claim my prize
but is no match

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)04:40 No. 28989 ID: cd08c0
File 125016362276.gif - (3.79KB , 400x400 , 196.gif )

> vengeance
for my name is sigurd
the ultimate warrior

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)04:40 No. 28990 ID: cd08c0
File 125016364877.gif - (3.79KB , 400x400 , 197.gif )

i grow weary now
... i think...
... i shall...
.....rest.....

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)04:41 No. 28991 ID: cd08c0
File 125016366723.gif - (3.92KB , 400x400 , 198.gif )

Kara Sigurd has passed out.

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)04:41 No. 28992 ID: cd08c0
File 125016369362.gif - (2.05KB , 400x400 , 199.gif )

End Chapter Three.

>>28991
No! I must kill the MiBs!
No. You are the MiBs.
And then Kara was a vampaia.

>And then Kara was a vampaia.

You sure that's Kara? Because Kara just collapsed.

I think that's Hope.

So...

Kara likes to booze or she gets angry.

When fully sobered by coffee, calls herself Sigurd, acts in accordance with Norse mythology.

Is taller, stronger and more durable than a normal human would be.

The suits call her Sigurd, and seem to have special orders regarding her.

Lives in a world with magic.

So, Kara seems to be a Valkyrie (maybe an Einherjar) that is purposefully staying drunk constantly to forget something that is still a source of rage.

>So, Kara seems to be a Valkyrie (maybe an Einherjar) that is purposefully staying drunk constantly to forget something that is still a source of rage.

Ladies and gentlemen! Our first epileptic tree!

I'm so proud. *Sniff*

>>28971
SHIT JUST GOT KNURD.

>>29020

It's an interesting theory. Not SO out there. The Sigurd thing is weird, and she does use terms like "glorious battle" and calls Prevous a dorf and so on. Maybe not a Valkyrie perse, but I wouldn't be surprised if Kara's not exactly human.

>>29014
Or could be, if she'd get off the sauce.
Alternately, something like Shadowrun goblinisation?

>>28991

Is that a fucking Barbed Wheel?

Goddammit.

>>29172
Wait- what are you-
Fuck.
I WAS RIGHT
EVERY SINGLE QUEST ON THIS SITE IS SECRETLY RUN BY WEAVER
I'M NOT CRAZY
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)17:24 No. 29223 ID: cd08c0
File 125020946599.gif - (5.10KB , 400x400 , CC_Lance.gif )

...

Rekaens!zCiuXQBmHU 2009/08/13(Thu)17:24 No. 29225 ID: cd08c0
File 125020948984.gif - (5.59KB , 400x400 , CC_Prevous.gif )

...

>>29172

It's not the first one.

>>29193
Not quite.
Weaver has power over anyone who uses the Orb of Infinite Psyche as a plot device. Using [technobabble] metafictional [technobabble technobabble memes] he can reach through the fourth wall to control them, or drain their psyche. I haven't been able to uncover his plans yet, but I'm sure they're sinister.

I hope this message reaches you in time - Weaver knows I'm on to him, and his servants are everywhere.
Remember, >>29193, you are the chosen one. Only you can destroy the true Orb!