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1019480 No. 1019480 ID: eedbeb

Thank you to all of the authors who gave me permission to make fun of them on the internet.

Don’t be a dick (this goes for me too)! These are real folks who are all wonderful authors in their own unique ways, and I’m the one writing so if you don’t like something it’s my fault.
157 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
No. 1019969 ID: 8483cf

Can't improve on what's already perfect
No. 1019980 ID: eedbeb
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>Clothing Damage
Surveying your totaled van gives you a bright idea for the task tomorrow. You shakily walk away from the wreckage to sleep at the studio for the night.

“So for clothing damage you need several things. Combat, where clothes can be damaged, a healthy suspension of disbelief for why no one’s getting injured, and finally some level of horny.” the creature explains. “The problem with all of those things is that they weaken over time. The solution? Falling into existential despair.”
No. 1019981 ID: eedbeb
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>Lurking Lurker
“Do you want your character to get bodied in a quest?” the mollusk asks rhetorically. “Well then you’ll like my clothing damage quests, where you can pay to get your oc featured in a story I slowly stop updating.”

The being within the shell shrugs. “I’ve served my time in the quest trenches, I can do what I want at this point. And I say fuck you, I’ll get to it when I feel like it.”
No. 1019982 ID: eedbeb
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“It’s very simple.” the pastry explains. “Cute naked girl good. Cute naked boy also good. Keep it simple, light-hearted slice of life and you never have to worry about the long term consequences of basing a quest around something with very little plot realism.”

Who’s idea do you prefer?
No. 1019984 ID: 15a025

I throw my vote to Sarcophagus.
No. 1019985 ID: 8a51ec

>"Cute naked boy also good."
Bagel. Y'know, like, as a joke.
No. 1019986 ID: 8483cf

Bagel is having the most fun, which is how you win at pretty much anything!
No. 1019988 ID: 96c896

No. 1019989 ID: 629f2e

LurkingLurker, because their quest has my OC in it!
No. 1019990 ID: afe7de

Bagel's too wholesome, BAGEL WIN
No. 1019993 ID: c92a02

Lurker wins, because you perk up at the idea of readers paying you to not update a quest.
No. 1020004 ID: e51896

No. 1020011 ID: d467f5

Sadly, Sarcophagus didn't really deliver on that suspension of disbelief part in the quest about the great heist on the tripod space station. (I liked all the great heist plot and different aliens, though!)

Bagel has my vote.
No. 1020023 ID: eedbeb
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“Congratulations!” you tell the caltrop wielding bread product, though it doesn’t know you know. “You’re safe today, which is good because this next task is a double elimination challenge!”

A crew member takes Bagel up to the balcony while you assemble the four remaining participants.

Separate Corvid, Sarcophagus, Lurking Lurker, and Hymitsu into teams of two and choose their quest related collab task. The losing team will be eliminated.
No. 1020024 ID: 8483cf

Corvid and Lurker
Sarc and Hymitsu
No. 1020025 ID: e51896

LurkingLurker and Sarcophagus vs Hymitsu and Corvid

Collab task: make the more popular TEXT ONLY quest
No. 1020026 ID: 629f2e

LurkingLurker and Sarc, Hymitsu and Corvid

Task: Run the best quest that doesn't get popular, create a true hidden gem. Which team's quest will pull ahead when the only replies they're getting are from kome?
No. 1020027 ID: bdc340

sarc and hym
corv and lurcer
No. 1020028 ID: d467f5

People are starting see through the "non-consensual" euphemism.
Come up with a new, better euphemism!
No. 1020029 ID: 15a025

LurkingLurker and Sarcophagus, Hymitsu and Corvid. The task is designing a quest where the love interest betrays their lover.
No. 1020030 ID: afe7de

Corv/hum sarc/lol

Make the best KOME quest to be judged by our guest star Kome the galactic, transdimensional being of chaos.

Also what if a certain eliminated feline was watching from the rafters longingly before being shooed off
No. 1020031 ID: c92a02

Sarc and Lurker, Corvid and Hyumitsu. Their next task... intermissions. Pick a minor character from their existing quests and make a spinoff all about them.
No. 1020033 ID: b4dd65

Support intermissions
No. 1020037 ID: eedbeb
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>Come’s (pronounced kome) bizarre adventure

You need a quest that’s going to appeal to the chaos agents of the world. You’ve noticed a reader named Come who usually makes exotic and somewhat untenable suggestions, and you task the contestants to make a serious quest that appeals to him.
No. 1020038 ID: eedbeb
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>Team Dog
You put Corvid and Hymitsu together, ensuring an update word count bigger than your dick (your dick is very large, just to be clear). They seem uncertain at first, but work together quite well, brainstorming and doodling characters that could work for their quest.

You haven’t seen as much weird stuff from either of them, but you know Hymitsu has an excellent sense of humor and Corvid can draw tiddy.
No. 1020039 ID: eedbeb
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>Team Old
The two veterans shrug and get to work designing a hybrid fantasy/sci-fi setting where the protagonist can be a dumbass without dying immediately. Since both have an abundance of characters, they populate the world with existing designs, which makes their lives much easier.

Which team wins? You’ll steal their idea for your own purposes.
No. 1020040 ID: 8483cf

Team Old wins because they're used to dealing wi- um, appeasing the chaos gods.
No. 1020041 ID: c92a02

Team Old. Their shorter word count allows for the plot to turn on a dime.
No. 1020043 ID: b78c95

Team old wins because Hymitsu got distracted by Edpineapple's latest BROKEN GLASS and REACTANT quests, making long thought up suggestions for each
No. 1020044 ID: 15a025

I think team old's got the upper hand here. A protagonist's "power" seems like a prime way to cause some crazy chaos or try some interesting suggestions. My vote goes to these boomers.
No. 1020045 ID: 1a1d89

Team Old wins. They dust off Xom to use in their quest.

...they also give a rather generous anonymous donation to Steve.
No. 1020047 ID: 6267cf

Team old probably for this reason, sorry team young :(
No. 1020048 ID: e51896

Hymitsu: wonder why your not on team old when you actually had a quest called "High Tier" under your previous alter ego BokkunThesketchguy that predates Sarcophagus' oldest quest "team Port Echo echo echo echo."
No. 1020052 ID: bdc340

Neither of these can truly satisfy Come.
No. 1020074 ID: eedbeb
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You shoo away the losers and get the lawyers in to seize control of the winner’s intellectual property.

“What are you doing?” Sarcophagus asks, bewildered.

“How do you think we make money once the show is over? Well, okay, we don’t make any money from quests but how do you think I entertain myself during off season? By using the ideas I’ve gained in this competition to make the ultimate story telling experience!”
No. 1020075 ID: eedbeb
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Bagel and Sarcophagus gasp with horror while LL scratches his crotch and shrugs.

“Well, we’re down to the final three. I expect you to keep your brains nice and fresh for tomorrow.” you tell them firmly.

What do you do after filming?
-Go to the hotel to keep an eye on the authors
-Whatever else you usually do after work (suggest)
No. 1020076 ID: c92a02

What you usually do after work, your other work. It's a hard life running a game show while working two jobs and living out of a van, but that's showbiz, as they say in LA.
No. 1020078 ID: 8483cf

Live in a van down by the river.
No. 1020081 ID: 1ee277

Before the finale peek in on all the eliminated contestants to see what they're up to right now
No. 1020083 ID: e51896

Let's do that. And you know what, give them a secret competition to let one of them come back into the game if they win to be part of the final four along with Sarcophagus, LurkingLurker, and Bagel.
No. 1020084 ID: 583659

I like the idea of a rising revengeance losers bracket return
No. 1020086 ID: d467f5

Your other job is secretely piting MSPaint adventures and 4chan's quest board against one another to ensure tgchan's rise to supremacy.
No. 1020109 ID: eedbeb
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>Van life
You are the envy of millennials everywhere, living in your very own recently wrecked van that you pay for with your meager part time fast food job. You walk from the studio to where you’ve parked and crawl into the back. After connecting to the nearby café’s wifi, you open discord to see how all the eliminated contestants are doing.
No. 1020110 ID: eedbeb
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They all seem to be fine, posting quest updates and dropping cryptic non-statements about their day to day lives.

You consider inviting one of them back, but then remember the show can’t afford production for an extra two episodes, not to mention the laziness of the author.

You curl up in your dirty clothes and blankets and go to sleep.
No. 1020111 ID: eedbeb
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You shave in the building bathroom and freshen up with a generous paper towel pat down. Once you’re presentable you welcome Bagel, Sarcophagus, and Lurking Lurker back to the set.

“For the finals, we’ll play out a very brief quest (1 day updates worth) from each of you and then choose the winner.” you tell them.

Based on the contestants previous responses, describes the premises of each of their entries.
No. 1020116 ID: d467f5

The quests are just a very complex Alternate Reality Game in order for the three contestants to perform the greatest of Questden taboos:

The winner will be decided through....

Doxxing Kombaaaaaaat!
No. 1020119 ID: c92a02

Hey, now you're just tricking the audience into writing your quests. Nice try, Steve!
No. 1020126 ID: eedbeb
File 164178654636.png - (72.21KB , 500x500 , p58.png )

It seems like your scheme has run its course and the lads are no longer having a good time. You faint from malnutrition and production has no choice but to crown three champions.

Thanks for reading.
No. 1020134 ID: d467f5

Hey, no!
Ok, ok, ok!

What about...
Some guy who is now a ghost and has to explore the afterlife.
A deep sea prove that finds a new inteligent species.
And a celibate priest that is isekaid to a lewd fanfic-like world.
No. 1020164 ID: 71be42

Guess it’s like they say, reality TV is feast or famine.
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