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File 164133044860.png - (53.17KB , 500x500 , p0.png )
1019480 No. 1019480 ID: eedbeb

Thank you to all of the authors who gave me permission to make fun of them on the internet.

Don’t be a dick (this goes for me too)! These are real folks who are all wonderful authors in their own unique ways, and I’m the one writing so if you don’t like something it’s my fault.
107 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
No. 1019840 ID: 8483cf

These teams are good
No. 1019842 ID: 8a0fb8

Ll wants bagel on team because he loves Bagel's character Dotto the tanuki
No. 1019843 ID: c92a02

Corvid, tipler, Hyu.
Lurker, Sarc, Bagel.
No. 1019850 ID: eedbeb
File 164158747105.png - (106.18KB , 500x500 , p33.png )

>Corvid, tipler, Sarcophagus
The dog, the fish, and the creature huddle together at one of the drawing stations.

“Alright, first things first, is the protag a boy or a girl?” tipler asks, stealing control from team leader Corvid immediately.

“Um, girl?” says Corvid.

“Boy.” insists Sarcophagus. “Easier to have a guy with lots of girls than a girl with lots of guys.”

“Well, okay, but they don’t have to have sex. There can just be tension. Also, gays.” Corvid protests.
No. 1019851 ID: eedbeb
File 164158749168.png - (58.16KB , 500x500 , p34.png )

tipler ineffectually pounds the table with his hand fin. “The people want PIV sex and we have to give the people what they want.” Tears stream down his face. “It doesn’t matter what we think is right. I will compromise ever moral I’ve ever had for maximal clout.”

Corvid sighs and helps the lads design a classic assembly of emotionally vulnerable and kinky furry waifus.
No. 1019852 ID: eedbeb
File 164158750203.png - (66.93KB , 500x500 , p35.png )

>LL, Hymitsu, Bagel

Lurking Lurker has maintained control of his team, and lays down the ground rules early.
“Nudity? Sure. Sex? No. We will titillate but not fall for the trap of graphic sexual content.”

“Fine with me.” says Hymitsu

“We can even have a female MC and mostly female ensemble.” adds Bagel eagerly. “Rotating POVs, butts, maybe one smooch a year if they’re lucky.”

The group designs a mix of humanoid and furry ladies with relatively low horny levels.

Which team wins?
No. 1019853 ID: 12b116

Lurker's team. It's what the people truly crave. The other team doesn't realize that questden chickens out before the actual sex, like, 90% of the time.
No. 1019854 ID: 761270

Lurker's team wins because they get along and have a unified vision!

Corvid's team explodes
No. 1019855 ID: 8a51ec

Lurker wins handily. After all, everyone knows the Questden motto: "No Way Fag"
No. 1019856 ID: 6a4c27

Lurkers party, sorry sarc :(
No. 1019857 ID: c92a02

The collected niche audiences vote team Cortiphagus into victory before turning on each other in a civil war.
No. 1019858 ID: 629f2e

Lurker's team, but only because tipler sabotages team Corvid by making every potential lewd scene's art into a meme.
No. 1019859 ID: bdc340

LL's team plays hard to get and has lasting appeal, tiplers ensemble is good for a wank but then their quest will die
No. 1019860 ID: db267e

No. 1019866 ID: eedbeb
File 164160345548.png - (69.66KB , 500x500 , p36.png )

>LL’s team wins!

You inspect both offerings and balk at the overt sexual content of Corvid’s team. LL’s samples are sweet and simple, and you can see the lasting appeal, not to mention the better team dynamics.

Since Corvid is still immune to elimination that means you have an exciting head to head on your hands. Sarcophagus vs. tipler! Choose how they battle, preferably in a way that doesn’t involve quests at all.
No. 1019867 ID: 511ed0

Flintlocks at 20 paces
No. 1019869 ID: 50a56b

Rock paper tactical nuclear warhead
No. 1019870 ID: bdc340

The mindgames in this one are intense, as both contestants rack their brains trying to guess whether tactical nuclear warhead just replaces scissors or beats the other two.
No. 1019871 ID: c92a02

A classic Q-tip battle over boiling acid.
No. 1019872 ID: 2ddb7b

Flintlocks that shoot qtips at 20 paces over a pit of citric acid.

If Tippler loses then we get some nice tasting fish!
No. 1019873 ID: 8a51ec

Combat? Boooooring. Both of them have to recite the entire plot of Ruby Quest off the top of their heads, whichever one can't remember a plot point first is the loser.
No. 1019876 ID: 96c896

No. 1019884 ID: eedbeb
File 164161123823.png - (55.66KB , 500x500 , p37.png )

Production scrambles to put together a green screen and prop flintlock pistols for the epic duel you have devised.

Sarcophagus squints at the spray painted plastic toy. “I feel like you might as well have us play rock paper scissors.”

“But this is better content for the viewers.” you insist. “Imagine the youtube ad revenue.”
No. 1019885 ID: eedbeb
File 164161124845.png - (77.90KB , 500x500 , p38.png )

Sarcophagus and tipler ineffectually shoot each other with Q-tips and caper around the green screen. The fish is as theatrical as a bad Shakespearean actor while Sarcophagus doesn’t seem very enthusiastic.

“Ah! You have killed me.” the fish clutches his poncho and collapses to the ground after taking a shot directly to the chest.

“Are we done? Did I win yet?” Sarcophagus asks you impatiently.

“Uh…” you fumble in your pocket for a coin to flip, which the goat creature slaps out of your hand. “Yes, you won, congratulations!”
No. 1019886 ID: eedbeb
File 164161125886.png - (68.50KB , 500x500 , p39.png )

tipler doesn’t seem very disappointed in the post-fight interview.

“Yeah, I’m glad to be going home honestly, I’ll finally be able to fish again.” the strange little salmon explains. “Also this way I can keep an eye on my wife in case some OBJECTIONABLE INDIVIDUALS try to seduce her.”

The camera follows him as he takes bread from the offstage snack table and starts attracting pigeons in the parking lot, before grabbing a bird and escaping into the night.
No. 1019889 ID: bcbad6

Bagel hymitsu and lurker go to a fancy dinner to celebrate their team win. however, bagel needs a disguise so the resturant staff dont confuse him for a side dish.

Thats right ladies and gents, it's paper doll time to dress up Bagel!
No. 1019890 ID: afe7de

this idea is too wholesome, but my paperdoll would be me dressing up bagel as a donut
No. 1019907 ID: 894419

So would mine, time to do it anyway. I'm thinking sprinkles
No. 1019921 ID: 497c9a

Paper doll sounds fun. I wonder what would happen if someone draws a steve bagel? What would our judge think?
No. 1019922 ID: b75ed1

Super beefy mechanical body for Bagel. A freaking sace marine of a body.
No. 1019923 ID: af2f11

Thus is the way.
No. 1019933 ID: eedbeb
File 164166751660.png - (77.64KB , 500x500 , p40.png )

After episode 3 ends, the winning team goes to a fancy restaurant in downtown LA (In-N-Out) to celebrate their success. Since Bagel is so famous after its legal victory, the others dress it up with a little paper frosting and sprinkles to imitate a donut.

Hymitsu and Bagel’s friendship has blossomed after the fanart drawing of the previous evening, and they chatter excitedly while waiting in the 30 car line at the drive through.
No. 1019934 ID: eedbeb
File 164166752555.png - (43.85KB , 500x500 , p41.png )

Lurking Lurker stays mostly silent, occasionally checking the rearview mirror.

“Do you guys see that white van?” he finally says.


“There’s a white van that’s been following us since we left the studio.” LL points across the street to where you are watching the proceedings.
No. 1019935 ID: c92a02

It's LA, there are lots of white vans. You're just projecting, Lurker.
No. 1019938 ID: 629f2e

Shit, that's the official unbranded Quest Van. Their characters must already be here, and authors should never meet their characters. They're all going to fight about everything they put their chars through.

Fox girl Dot will pester Bagel about letting her finally find Peta, a squad of children will roll up and just start kicking Hymitsu's shins and LurkingLurker will be crushed under the weight of all their different characters.

Like a 3/10 dinner overall.
No. 1019940 ID: 076735

Remember A Conspiracy of Wasps? White unmarked vans are bad news. Tell the car's biggest RPG nerd to empty their d4 bag on the road behind you to blow out the van's tyres.
No. 1019941 ID: b0c9f8

It's just Steve
No. 1019944 ID: 96c896

Let's drive off and get the van spraypainted a new color so they don't suspect us.
No. 1019945 ID: eedbeb
File 164167546810.png - (46.93KB , 500x500 , p42.png )

Uh oh, the contestants are starting to notice you. They don’t understand you have to be there if they want to be seen, because you’re the POV.

You drive around the corner before they decide to attack since you can sense the aggressive energy brewing in LL’s gigantic brain. Maybe you should paint the van a different color? White tends to stand out after a while.
No. 1019946 ID: eedbeb
File 164167549059.png - (68.10KB , 500x500 , p43.png )

You chew on the steering wheel while you collect yourself. You’d really like to capture the team bonding moment over burgers, so you park and make your way closer on foot.

After a solid hour of waiting, the group finally orders and collects the goods.

Do you:
-Follow them back to the hotel
-Call it a night
No. 1019947 ID: c92a02

Follow them.
No. 1019948 ID: b2eec0

Sneaky sneaky
No. 1019949 ID: 629f2e

Follow them!
No. 1019950 ID: e51896

Follow them. But focus on Corvid and Sarcophagus since the rest of the contestants are more alert.
No. 1019953 ID: 96c896

Follow them. If confronted, just explain you're the cameraman.
No. 1019957 ID: eedbeb
File 164168574816.png - (81.44KB , 500x500 , p44.png )

“The van’s back.” Hymitsu notes through a mouthful fries.

Lurking Lurker curses and flies into a paranoid rage in part due to being stuck in LA traffic. “We have a stalker! They’re probably after us because we’re extremely important celebrity quest authors.”

“Hold on.” Bagel rifles around in their pockets and produces a bag of assorted caltrops, which it flings out the window.
No. 1019958 ID: eedbeb
File 164168577039.png - (50.99KB , 500x500 , p45.png )

You slam your brakes but are too slow to avoid the massive pileup. You’re rear-ended and the street breaks into a chorus of honking and upset drivers.

You have been foiled! The contestants are becoming increasingly self-aware and you need to get your brilliant quest ideas out of them before they catch on.

Choose the contest and three frontrunners for the first task of episode 4.
No. 1019959 ID: 2cc187

After the van gets DAMAGED, the word DAMAGE repeats in your head...

You suddenly get an idea:

No. 1019960 ID: 8a51ec

No. 1019961 ID: 2cc187

Oh yeah, front runners are LurkingLurker, and Sarcophagus since they made clothing damage themed quests before. Bagel's the third since he's doing the anti clothing damage quest, clothing repair quest.
No. 1019969 ID: 8483cf

Can't improve on what's already perfect
No. 1019980 ID: eedbeb
File 164169733289.png - (53.64KB , 500x500 , p46.png )

>Clothing Damage
Surveying your totaled van gives you a bright idea for the task tomorrow. You shakily walk away from the wreckage to sleep at the studio for the night.

“So for clothing damage you need several things. Combat, where clothes can be damaged, a healthy suspension of disbelief for why no one’s getting injured, and finally some level of horny.” the creature explains. “The problem with all of those things is that they weaken over time. The solution? Falling into existential despair.”
No. 1019981 ID: eedbeb
File 164169734626.png - (59.77KB , 500x500 , p47.png )

>Lurking Lurker
“Do you want your character to get bodied in a quest?” the mollusk asks rhetorically. “Well then you’ll like my clothing damage quests, where you can pay to get your oc featured in a story I slowly stop updating.”

The being within the shell shrugs. “I’ve served my time in the quest trenches, I can do what I want at this point. And I say fuck you, I’ll get to it when I feel like it.”
No. 1019982 ID: eedbeb
File 164169735428.png - (58.26KB , 500x500 , p48.png )

“It’s very simple.” the pastry explains. “Cute naked girl good. Cute naked boy also good. Keep it simple, light-hearted slice of life and you never have to worry about the long term consequences of basing a quest around something with very little plot realism.”

Who’s idea do you prefer?
No. 1019984 ID: 15a025

I throw my vote to Sarcophagus.
No. 1019985 ID: 8a51ec

>"Cute naked boy also good."
Bagel. Y'know, like, as a joke.
No. 1019986 ID: 8483cf

Bagel is having the most fun, which is how you win at pretty much anything!
No. 1019988 ID: 96c896

No. 1019989 ID: 629f2e

LurkingLurker, because their quest has my OC in it!
No. 1019990 ID: afe7de

Bagel's too wholesome, BAGEL WIN
No. 1019993 ID: c92a02

Lurker wins, because you perk up at the idea of readers paying you to not update a quest.
No. 1020004 ID: e51896

No. 1020011 ID: d467f5

Sadly, Sarcophagus didn't really deliver on that suspension of disbelief part in the quest about the great heist on the tripod space station. (I liked all the great heist plot and different aliens, though!)

Bagel has my vote.
No. 1020023 ID: eedbeb
File 164174202388.png - (72.76KB , 500x500 , p49.png )

“Congratulations!” you tell the caltrop wielding bread product, though it doesn’t know you know. “You’re safe today, which is good because this next task is a double elimination challenge!”

A crew member takes Bagel up to the balcony while you assemble the four remaining participants.

Separate Corvid, Sarcophagus, Lurking Lurker, and Hymitsu into teams of two and choose their quest related collab task. The losing team will be eliminated.
No. 1020024 ID: 8483cf

Corvid and Lurker
Sarc and Hymitsu
No. 1020025 ID: e51896

LurkingLurker and Sarcophagus vs Hymitsu and Corvid

Collab task: make the more popular TEXT ONLY quest
No. 1020026 ID: 629f2e

LurkingLurker and Sarc, Hymitsu and Corvid

Task: Run the best quest that doesn't get popular, create a true hidden gem. Which team's quest will pull ahead when the only replies they're getting are from kome?
No. 1020027 ID: bdc340

sarc and hym
corv and lurcer
No. 1020028 ID: d467f5

People are starting see through the "non-consensual" euphemism.
Come up with a new, better euphemism!
No. 1020029 ID: 15a025

LurkingLurker and Sarcophagus, Hymitsu and Corvid. The task is designing a quest where the love interest betrays their lover.
No. 1020030 ID: afe7de

Corv/hum sarc/lol

Make the best KOME quest to be judged by our guest star Kome the galactic, transdimensional being of chaos.

Also what if a certain eliminated feline was watching from the rafters longingly before being shooed off
No. 1020031 ID: c92a02

Sarc and Lurker, Corvid and Hyumitsu. Their next task... intermissions. Pick a minor character from their existing quests and make a spinoff all about them.
No. 1020033 ID: b4dd65

Support intermissions
No. 1020037 ID: eedbeb
File 164175601488.png - (49.43KB , 500x500 , p50.png )

>Come’s (pronounced kome) bizarre adventure

You need a quest that’s going to appeal to the chaos agents of the world. You’ve noticed a reader named Come who usually makes exotic and somewhat untenable suggestions, and you task the contestants to make a serious quest that appeals to him.
No. 1020038 ID: eedbeb
File 164175602759.png - (91.63KB , 500x500 , p51.png )

>Team Dog
You put Corvid and Hymitsu together, ensuring an update word count bigger than your dick (your dick is very large, just to be clear). They seem uncertain at first, but work together quite well, brainstorming and doodling characters that could work for their quest.

You haven’t seen as much weird stuff from either of them, but you know Hymitsu has an excellent sense of humor and Corvid can draw tiddy.
No. 1020039 ID: eedbeb
File 164175605176.png - (64.17KB , 500x500 , p52.png )

>Team Old
The two veterans shrug and get to work designing a hybrid fantasy/sci-fi setting where the protagonist can be a dumbass without dying immediately. Since both have an abundance of characters, they populate the world with existing designs, which makes their lives much easier.

Which team wins? You’ll steal their idea for your own purposes.
No. 1020040 ID: 8483cf

Team Old wins because they're used to dealing wi- um, appeasing the chaos gods.
No. 1020041 ID: c92a02

Team Old. Their shorter word count allows for the plot to turn on a dime.
No. 1020043 ID: b78c95

Team old wins because Hymitsu got distracted by Edpineapple's latest BROKEN GLASS and REACTANT quests, making long thought up suggestions for each
No. 1020044 ID: 15a025

I think team old's got the upper hand here. A protagonist's "power" seems like a prime way to cause some crazy chaos or try some interesting suggestions. My vote goes to these boomers.
No. 1020045 ID: 1a1d89

Team Old wins. They dust off Xom to use in their quest.

...they also give a rather generous anonymous donation to Steve.
No. 1020047 ID: 6267cf

Team old probably for this reason, sorry team young :(
No. 1020048 ID: e51896

Hymitsu: wonder why your not on team old when you actually had a quest called "High Tier" under your previous alter ego BokkunThesketchguy that predates Sarcophagus' oldest quest "team Port Echo echo echo echo."
No. 1020052 ID: bdc340

Neither of these can truly satisfy Come.
No. 1020074 ID: eedbeb
File 164177229417.png - (79.96KB , 500x500 , p53.png )

You shoo away the losers and get the lawyers in to seize control of the winner’s intellectual property.

“What are you doing?” Sarcophagus asks, bewildered.

“How do you think we make money once the show is over? Well, okay, we don’t make any money from quests but how do you think I entertain myself during off season? By using the ideas I’ve gained in this competition to make the ultimate story telling experience!”
No. 1020075 ID: eedbeb
File 164177230574.png - (61.99KB , 500x500 , p54.png )

Bagel and Sarcophagus gasp with horror while LL scratches his crotch and shrugs.

“Well, we’re down to the final three. I expect you to keep your brains nice and fresh for tomorrow.” you tell them firmly.

What do you do after filming?
-Go to the hotel to keep an eye on the authors
-Whatever else you usually do after work (suggest)
No. 1020076 ID: c92a02

What you usually do after work, your other work. It's a hard life running a game show while working two jobs and living out of a van, but that's showbiz, as they say in LA.
No. 1020078 ID: 8483cf

Live in a van down by the river.
No. 1020081 ID: 1ee277

Before the finale peek in on all the eliminated contestants to see what they're up to right now
No. 1020083 ID: e51896

Let's do that. And you know what, give them a secret competition to let one of them come back into the game if they win to be part of the final four along with Sarcophagus, LurkingLurker, and Bagel.
No. 1020084 ID: 583659

I like the idea of a rising revengeance losers bracket return
No. 1020086 ID: d467f5

Your other job is secretely piting MSPaint adventures and 4chan's quest board against one another to ensure tgchan's rise to supremacy.
No. 1020109 ID: eedbeb
File 164178328453.png - (68.83KB , 500x500 , p55.png )

>Van life
You are the envy of millennials everywhere, living in your very own recently wrecked van that you pay for with your meager part time fast food job. You walk from the studio to where you’ve parked and crawl into the back. After connecting to the nearby café’s wifi, you open discord to see how all the eliminated contestants are doing.
No. 1020110 ID: eedbeb
File 164178329627.png - (44.30KB , 500x500 , p56.png )

They all seem to be fine, posting quest updates and dropping cryptic non-statements about their day to day lives.

You consider inviting one of them back, but then remember the show can’t afford production for an extra two episodes, not to mention the laziness of the author.

You curl up in your dirty clothes and blankets and go to sleep.
No. 1020111 ID: eedbeb
File 164178331193.png - (77.67KB , 500x500 , p57.png )

You shave in the building bathroom and freshen up with a generous paper towel pat down. Once you’re presentable you welcome Bagel, Sarcophagus, and Lurking Lurker back to the set.

“For the finals, we’ll play out a very brief quest (1 day updates worth) from each of you and then choose the winner.” you tell them.

Based on the contestants previous responses, describes the premises of each of their entries.
No. 1020116 ID: d467f5

The quests are just a very complex Alternate Reality Game in order for the three contestants to perform the greatest of Questden taboos:

The winner will be decided through....

Doxxing Kombaaaaaaat!
No. 1020119 ID: c92a02

Hey, now you're just tricking the audience into writing your quests. Nice try, Steve!
No. 1020126 ID: eedbeb
File 164178654636.png - (72.21KB , 500x500 , p58.png )

It seems like your scheme has run its course and the lads are no longer having a good time. You faint from malnutrition and production has no choice but to crown three champions.

Thanks for reading.
No. 1020134 ID: d467f5

Hey, no!
Ok, ok, ok!

What about...
Some guy who is now a ghost and has to explore the afterlife.
A deep sea prove that finds a new inteligent species.
And a celibate priest that is isekaid to a lewd fanfic-like world.
No. 1020164 ID: 71be42

Guess it’s like they say, reality TV is feast or famine.
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