Sing Tell Everybody I'm My Way.

Touch. With teeth.

tippler 2021/11/23(Tue)13:47 No. 1015931 ID: eedbeb
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“Can I touch your tail?” you ask.

“No, I have enough children tugging on it.” the gnoll grunts.

“I’m an adult! I’m seven years old already.” you say, offended.

She snorts at your words and you decide not to risk disembowelment for the fluff.

tippler 2021/11/23(Tue)13:47 No. 1015932 ID: eedbeb
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Once she’s reached her property, the gnoll stops to catch her breath.

“I’m Rhortra. What’s your name?” she asks.

“I’m Germ. Do you have any tubers I could use for the Thanks?”

She squints at you suspiciously. “Not unless you are willing to pay good copper for them.”

A smaller, male gnoll emerges from the house next to the farm and helps Rhortra lift the pumpkin inside. You hand over the mushrooms.

tippler 2021/11/23(Tue)13:47 No. 1015933 ID: eedbeb
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“Here is your piece.” Rhortra says, whacking a chunk off the pumpkin with an enormous knife. “Where is your home?”

“Up on the rock face above the river, you can see the smoke from the bank. Come by at sunset.” you say.

You nibble the edge of the orange flesh as you walk to the edge of the property. What should you do next?

Sell yourself for copper.

Become cop for copper, just realized you were 7, is that an adult in kobold years?

We need the tubers! Gotta find some taters or yams.

>>1015934
In like... a non-sexual way. Right?

Look for tubers in a non-sexual way.

Tubers grow into the ground. Head for your tunnels and look up

tippler 2021/11/23(Tue)14:54 No. 1015943 ID: eedbeb
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>Adult?
Kobolds are mature at 6 years old, so you are a young adult. You live with your parents and your grandparents because communal living is necessary in this economy.

Speaking of…you don’t have any copper to buy tubers with. You could find some wild potatoes but the ones from Rhortra’s garden will be of the highest quality.

You drop off your pumpkin to your harried father, who reports that the berries made his stomach turn. The dragon won’t be poisoned, though she’ll appreciate better fruit, and if you don’t have time to get more you’ll have to stick with what you’ve got.

tippler 2021/11/23(Tue)14:54 No. 1015944 ID: eedbeb
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You walk to the village that’s by the river and proclaim yourself available for a few hours of labor. The humans laugh or make crude jokes about the labor you could provide, which you ignore despite your hurt feelings.

Finally, an old crone walks up to you and asks for help guarding her shop while she runs an errand. All you have to do is stand outside and stop anyone from coming in while she’s gone.

Do you:
-Take the job
-Take the job and steal from the shop
-Other

Take the errend. Only steal from the shop if the crone sells fruits or tubers

You could also make money by selling invitations to the Thanks Meal. I'm sure the dragon would love a larger crowd.

Take your spear and do the job.
For Narnia!

tippler 2021/11/23(Tue)16:12 No. 1015953 ID: eedbeb
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You take your spear and follow the crone to her little candle store. Fat cylinders of wax line the window and you breathe in the smell of honey and herbs. She pats you on the head and you’re left alone.

The job is very boring, but you persist, hissing at the stray cat that comes too close and pacing back and forth in front of the door.

tippler 2021/11/23(Tue)16:12 No. 1015954 ID: eedbeb
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The shadows are lengthening when a mean looking human approaches to leer at the display window.

“Excuse me!” you chirp. “This shop is temporarily closed. Please move along.”

“That’s no way to talk to a prospective customer, little lizard.” the man sneers.

Oh, he did NOT just sass you.

HES GOT A KNIFE IN HIS PANTS, SCREAM ABOUT THE KNIFE AND HOW HES GONNA MURDER YOU

-turns out he is just a paying customer though, oh well-

Okay, but the shop is closed.

>>1015954
Hm, if he just wants to look that's fine, but he can't come in!

>>1015954
The shop is still temporarily closed and you'll have to come back later!

tippler 2021/11/23(Tue)17:49 No. 1015967 ID: eedbeb
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“The store is closed.” you repeat firmly. “You may look at the candles in the display and dream about eating them, as I do.”

The human seems surprised you’re standing up to him. “It’s been closed for hours, I need candles to light my home. When is the old hag coming back?”

You don’t actually know and you feel a twinge of uncertainty. You’ve been standing here for what feels like years and you have a meal to prepare.

tippler 2021/11/23(Tue)17:49 No. 1015968 ID: eedbeb
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“I’m—not sure.” you say.

“Well, how about you let me through and I can get a candle and leave money on the counter.” the man says coaxingly.

Do you:
-Let the man into the shop
-Stand firm
-Abandon your post

Stand firm. You were given specific instructions.

I'm sorry. I was told to guard the place and I need to make good on it. She will be back tomorrow.

Edmango 2021/11/23(Tue)19:58 No. 1015980 ID: eedbeb
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>Stand firm
“Sorry, I’m under orders not to let anyone in.” you say.

To your relief, the human grumbles and walks away without more fuss. After waiting for another hour, the old crone returns.

“Oh! You’re still here.” she says. “I’m sorry for the delay, did you have any trouble?”

You stand tall and attempt a salute. “None at all ma’am.”

“You’re a darling.” she coos. She fishes around in her purse and pulls out a silver coin, which she places in your paw.

Edmango 2021/11/23(Tue)19:58 No. 1015981 ID: eedbeb
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You’re rich! You hurry home as the sky starts to turn pink. The smells of cooking pie and kiwi have filled the cave and your father is poking at the coals with a stick. You still need tubers and replacement berries, if possible. You can also spice what’s currently cooking for flair.

Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

See what people have for sale

You need give the coin to someone who can buy the tubers and berries in short order.

Tuber time!

Get fleeced into buying some magical beans.

Edmango 2021/11/24(Wed)09:09 No. 1016017 ID: eedbeb
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You charge up the hill to Rhortra’s farm and knock on the door, perhaps a bit too fiercely. A young gnoll about your size answers, sucking on a dough covered spoon.

“Hi, are your parents home? I need to buy some potatoes and berries.” You show off your silver piece and the kid’s eyes widen.

“Um, yeh…MA! KOBOLD’S HERE TO SEE YOU THEY GOT MONEY.”

Rhortra comes trotting to the entrance, wearing an apron and smelling like roasted nuts.

Edmango 2021/11/24(Wed)09:09 No. 1016018 ID: eedbeb
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“Germ, good to see you.” she says warmly. “I’m getting some food ready for the dinner later. Can’t show up without a dish or two.”

“I want your best taters and sour berries.” you hand Rhortra your coin.

“Gods, this is far too much for some produce. I’ll get you change and a bag.” Rhortra bustles away, leaving you with the child again, who tugs on your tail.

Contemplate on the history of the Thanks Meal celebration.

Tuck on his tail too.

mutual tail tugs as you silently chase eachother in circles because thats cute.

Touch fluffy tail of kid

Edmango 2021/11/24(Wed)12:10 No. 1016025 ID: eedbeb
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You grab the kid’s tail in retaliation and chase him playfully around the entrance while he squeals and smacks you with the slimy spoon until Rhortra returns with a sack heavy with clean tubers and few jars of berries. She also gives you five copper pieces.

“We’ll be down for a dinner in an hour or so.” she says.

“See you soon!” your new friend says.

Edmango 2021/11/24(Wed)12:11 No. 1016026 ID: eedbeb
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On the journey back to your cave, you contemplate the history of the Thanks meal. It’s been going on since your grandparent’s day, when the dragon settled in this area and blessed the kobolds with her protection and power.

You’ve never seen the dragon in person, but apparently she has powerful magic and can change her form.

Now’s your chance for some cooking creativity! How do you prepare your bird, taters, berries, and pie?

Slice and bake the tubers with lots of cheese on top


You know what, do that with the bird too

A bit hard to be creative when you only have 4 ingredients and no spices, oil, butter or anything else.

Skin, gut, etc. the bird, stuff it with the pumpkin. Bake the bird in fire until the meat is well done. Cut the tubers into small pieces and bake them next to the bird. Father said the berries are the sauce, so cover the baked bird with that in the end. If you have any spices/salt, or garlic/onions, mix them with the tubers and maybe the bird stuffing.

>>1016030
you have limited spices and oils im posting this to change my name back to normal

Bake/roast the bird, mash the taters with butter and milk, mush up the berries to make for a sauce for the meat, use the bird's drippings/fat (or just some kind of oil) with flour to make a gravy for the taters. Pie is on its own, but make sure it has nutmeg.

Traditional!

With much love and appreciation.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)15:12 No. 1016042 ID: eedbeb
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>Bird
You cleaned the bird when you caught it, and your dad has had it resting in brine. You fill the body cavity with dried herbs, garlic, and onions, and place it in a large clay pan to roast.

>Tubers
You inspect the potatoes and cut them into slices to bake with the bird. They cook faster than the kiwi and you melt some cheese and milk together to coat them.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)15:12 No. 1016043 ID: eedbeb
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>Berries
The berries are ripe and you carefully cut them and pick out the pits. After that you mush them together with some honey and put the sauce to the side for later.

>Pie
You’re tired after a long day of gathering ingredients, but you combine your last precious bit of honey, milk, and some valuable nutmeg with the pumpkin your dad has pre-mashed for you, then pour the slop into a stiff dough shell.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)15:12 No. 1016044 ID: eedbeb
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As you’re resting and waiting for everything to finish, Rhortra and her family announce their arrival, bearing plenty of food to share. Your family is stunned to see the gnolls, but after you explain they welcome Rhortra inside. There are three gnoll children and they romp with you while you monitor the fire.

Finally, everything is ready and you prepare the dragon’s plate. You take the choicest slices of meat, pie, potato and add a splash of berry sauce.

Your father nods solemnly. It’s time to take the tunnels to the dragon’s den.

Watch, and learn,
Here is the deal:
He'll slip and slide,
On this banana peel.

Do not drop the plate. Watch your step!

Tripping right now would ruin all your efforts, and be super embarrassing, so be careful.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)16:40 No. 1016050 ID: eedbeb
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You walk very carefully on the bumpy trail. One wrong step could ruin all your hard work.

The tunnels twist, join together, and connect to other warrens dotted throughout the mountains. The air gets colder as you travel deeper.

You’re checking your plate to make sure it’s still warm when another kobold enters your tunnel.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)16:40 No. 1016052 ID: eedbeb
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It’s a female kobold around your age, with her own plate grasped in her paws. You take a discrete sniff. Her meat might be livestock instead of a wild bird, but otherwise your food is better.

“Are you doing Thanks Meal too this year?” she asks, leaning over to take her own sniff.

“Yeah, I didn’t know multiple people did it.” you say.

“It’s only one boy and one girl.” she says imperiously, then lowers her voice. “My mother told me whoever has the worse food gets eaten by the dragon.”

-Come up with your own rumor
-Scoff
-Flirt

>>1016052
FLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRT

Something something mildly suggestive pickup line about eating.

>>1016055
do this, except very poorly

>>1016055
Like "How about whoever has the better food gets eaten by a kobold instead?"

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)17:48 No. 1016065 ID: eedbeb
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You channel all you’ve learned from your father’s tales of romance. “That’s a shame, you’ll be eaten before I get a chance to eat you.”

There’s a moment when the innuendo is sinking in where you’re cursing your boldness, but then the other kobold blushes.

“My food is much better. We’ve been fattening this pheasant on scraps for months.” she stammers.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)17:49 No. 1016066 ID: eedbeb
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“Oh, there’s no hope for you, I got my tubers and berries from the finest farm in the land.” you boast.

The kobold pouts. “I doubt the dragon would actually eat either of us. What’s your name? I’m Weasel.”

“I’m Germ.”

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)17:49 No. 1016067 ID: eedbeb
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The two of you chatter and continue walking for a few more minutes until you start to see an orange glow. You emerge in an enormous cavern, where the great red dragon slumbers on a pile of old treasure.

You announce your arrival, but the dragon doesn’t stir. Hm, you wonder how to get her attention.

-Find a way to wake the dragon
-Make out with Weasel

I really want to say MAKE OUT WITH WEASEL, but that can wait.

Bring food up near the DRAGON'S SNOOT. They wanted food, giving them a whiff should work. After that though, if it doesent work, begin makeouts. I need this in my life, please, you don't understand.

Save making out for an even cheesier flirt later, hopefully she won't be eaten by then. Maybe if the dragon smells your food?

Make out with weasel

Make out with a weasel

Kiss the dragon on the forehead. Guaranteed to wake sleeping beauties.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)20:30 No. 1016089 ID: eedbeb
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Weasel gently bumps her shoulder against yours, and you feel her tail brush your side.

“We have to do our duty.” you say, a note of hesitation in your voice.

She sighs and moves away. “You’re right. Let’s try to put the food near her snout so she can smell it.”

You ascend the hoard to where you can feel the hot breath leaving the majestic dragon. You and Weasel hold your offerings as close to her nostrils as you can.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)20:30 No. 1016090 ID: eedbeb
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The dragon stirs with a great rattling of metal. One of her enormous golden eyes opens and focuses on you.

“Is it time for the Thanks Meal already?” She gives an enormous yawn and slowly pulls herself upright. “Let me get into a more appropriate form.”

The dragon glows with magic and rapidly shrinks to the size of a tall human. She sits and takes both of the plates into her lap.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)20:30 No. 1016091 ID: eedbeb
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Fishing a fork out from her hoard, she takes a hearty bite of your meal, then Weasel’s.

“Mmm! These are really good.”

The dragon wolfs down the contents of both plates then leans back with a contented sigh.

Now you do the shoulder bump tail touching thing. Also suggestive eyebrows.

Ok NOW make out.

Hug dragon.

>>1016099
Yes

Let's kneel and praise the dragon!

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)07:05 No. 1016114 ID: eedbeb
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“Er, do you require anything more from us, most honorable and mighty dragon?” Weasel asks.

“Yes, would you happen to know…” the dragon leans over and whispers conspiratorially. “If I missed anything important? Sometimes I sleep in for longer than I should.”

“I think things are okay. There’s a human village growing by the river but I haven’t heard about any wars or plagues.” you say. Weasel’s paw creeps into your own and you squeeze it.

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)07:06 No. 1016116 ID: eedbeb
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The movement is not missed by the dragon, who gives you a cunning smile. “You know, I offer a variety of magical services to my favored minions.”

“Like what?” you ask.

The dragon starts counting on her fingers. “Birth control, vasectomy, hysterectomy, gender affirmation transformations, limb regrowth, fertility spells, assorted blessings...Or you can have something from my hoard.”

Heavens above, woman!
Let's accept something from the hoard instead.

Blessings?
Like, all my future children could have wings?

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)08:27 No. 1016125 ID: eedbeb
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“Blessings, does that mean you could give all my future children wings?” you ask.

“That’s a little excessive, I could certainly give you wings.” the dragon replies.

Weasel is gazing critically at the hoard. “There are some magic items and gold here, right?”

“Should be, buried with all the junk.”

Let's help the dragon tidy up her hoard into manageable assortments.

>>1016128
Yeah, maybe get a family heirloom or two for good service

Oh. Can she turn you into a dragon? Then you and the female dragon could live together happily ever after.

Blessings to the start of your new relationship should be all you need, but a dowry would be nice. You'll discuss kids when you get to know her better. Do hope she says yes.

If you get wings, only fair your partner gets a matching pair. Do they come feathery, or leathery?

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)11:03 No. 1016137 ID: eedbeb
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You turn to Weasel. “Do you—do you want us to be a thing?”

She nods and kisses you, which makes you forget all about the blessings.

“Oh! I forgot to mention abortions. I do abortions.” the dragon interrupts after a moment. “Family planning is very important. My bloodline is quite tough so if we’re not careful we can become overpopulated.”

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)11:03 No. 1016138 ID: eedbeb
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“Honorable dragon, I’d like to request some gold to start a cave with my new partner.” Weasel says.

“I would like wings for both of us.” you say.

“Certainly.” the dragon starts digging in the junk heap and produces two weighty gold coins, which she gives to Weasel.

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)11:03 No. 1016139 ID: eedbeb
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The dragon furrows her brow and you feel a rush of magic. Ethereal wings sprout from your shoulders, as well as Weasel’s.

“You can hide them by saying ‘wings off’.” the dragon explains. “Otherwise people might get jealous. Also, they only have twenty charges each since you’re sharing.”

It is now time gather everyone and sing and dance around the dragon.

Invite everyone as is thanks tradition to do the ceremonial dance, a whole other group of bolds are in charge of that, and everyone else gets to watch and have food.

Partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)16:13 No. 1016149 ID: eedbeb
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You and Weasel practice flying around the cave. The magic wings seem to have some ingrained knowledge so they’re more forgiving than you’d expect and soon you’re chasing after Weasel in the air.

You land next to the dragon who’s muttering to herself. “Thanks Meal, what comes after that? Wasn’t there a dance or something—oh shit.”

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)16:13 No. 1016150 ID: eedbeb
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She picks up both of you under one arm. “I have to bless this fancy ceremony outside, I’ll fly us there.”

“Ok.” you squeak, ribs a tad compressed. Weasel squirms against you and you lose the ability of coherent thought for a few minutes.

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)16:13 No. 1016151 ID: eedbeb
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The dragon flies out of a hole at the top of her cave, then circles around the mountain to the hill above river, where the kobolds have prepared a bonfire. You think you spot your home cave’s shine in the dark night.

The dragon drops the pair of you off a good distance away, winks, and leaps into the sky. The bonfire burns bright red and the kobolds whoop with joy.

Final choice:
-Sneak away with Weasel
-Join the celebrations

>>1016151
You have all the time in the world for makeouts, the thanks meal only comes once a year!

Maybe read the room, does weasel wanna go down to bone town, or just like go party, cause idk party sounds fun and ending with snuggles sounds v cute

Sneak away and begin the makeouts. It would not be a bad idea to get some contraception for today though.

Sneak away!

>>1016152
This.

If Weasel wants to make out, then make out. If Weasel wants to go party, then go party.

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)17:40 No. 1016158 ID: eedbeb
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“Do you want to go to the party?” you ask.

“If you want, I guess there’s only one a year.” she says. You can tell she’s trying to be polite.

“Or…” you start.

“Or?”

You raise the jar of oil and the strange rubber sheath the dragon slipped to you before she took off.

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)17:40 No. 1016159 ID: eedbeb
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Thanks for reading.

Lovable quest!