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File 155969626966.jpg - (114.67KB , 750x750 , 1.jpg )
934841 No. 934841 ID: 11bf02

Jesus fucking christ i hate myself.
Expand all images
No. 934842 ID: 11bf02
File 155969629787.jpg - (58.14KB , 750x750 , 2.jpg )

I need some shit to do and someplace to do it.
No. 934846 ID: 791096

Use the toilet for that business
No. 934847 ID: 11bf02
File 155969796739.jpg - (144.24KB , 750x750 , 3.jpg )

Alright I whipped up a shitty toilet, and even made a wonky ass bathroom. Now what.
No. 934848 ID: 8d4593

Go kidnap the daughter of Peter Rosado. He owes the Cartel big, and losing a pinky finger didn't seem to convince him that we mean business. He lives in the next town over. He ain't tough but we don't own the police there, so you'll need to be quiet.

Overall, should be easy work for a young gun like yourself.

Now go, the rape tree won't fill itself.
No. 934849 ID: 11bf02
File 155969875536.jpg - (111.33KB , 750x750 , 4.jpg )

>Go kidnap the daughter of Peter Rosado. He owes the Cartel big, and losing a pinky finger didn't seem to convince him that we mean business. He lives in the next town over. He ain't tough but we don't own the police there, so you'll need to be quiet.

Jeeeeesus. Fine. Whatever.
No. 934850 ID: 11bf02
File 155969877795.jpg - (234.01KB , 750x750 , 5.jpg )

No. 934851 ID: 11bf02
File 155969882541.jpg - (144.04KB , 750x750 , 6.jpg )

I don't care enough to fix the car. Anyway I'm here. How am I getting the kid?
No. 934853 ID: 891b91

A fishing rod with bacon as bait.

Kids love bacon.
No. 934854 ID: 11bf02
File 155969946521.jpg - (75.55KB , 750x750 , 7.jpg )




Shit, I forgot to give the kid like... a personality or whatever. She's just gonna stand there forever. What should I shove in her skull? Besides a fondness for bacon and no fucking survival skills, I guess.
No. 934856 ID: 891b91

Give her an encyclopedic knowledge of aircraft seating designs and specifications.
No. 934857 ID: 11bf02
File 155970092015.jpg - (128.67KB , 750x750 , 8.jpg )

No. 934858 ID: 11bf02
File 155970095183.jpg - (89.52KB , 750x750 , 9.jpg )

Congrats, you're a mom teegee.
No. 934859 ID: 11bf02
File 155970097854.jpg - (83.37KB , 750x750 , 10.jpg )

Of an idiot, but still. Congrats.
No. 934862 ID: 891b91

Excellent! Now acquire my daughter and get a big fancy aerospace industry company to hire her as an expensive consultant for their seating engineers.
No. 934864 ID: 11bf02
File 155970433505.jpg - (105.62KB , 750x750 , 11.jpg )



She's still kinda feral, but that's a step above any other jokers I'm gonna be making, so she's probably qualified for that.
No. 934866 ID: 11bf02
File 155970450943.jpg - (117.20KB , 750x750 , 12.jpg )

Okay so she's now a bigwig. Gonna be rolling in dough soon. What do we do with it.

"GGrrrzz... S-seats. Make... good."
No. 934867 ID: 12d426

But what about that Cartel threat!? They are going to have your head if you dont deliver her.
No. 934869 ID: 891b91

>rolling in dough, what do

>cartel threat

Obviously we should just buy the cartel. Problem solved! In fact, let's buy *two* cartels and then make them fight! Or kiss. Kiss-fight.
No. 934870 ID: 11bf02
File 155970803751.jpg - (126.28KB , 750x750 , 13.jpg )

>They are going to have your head if you dont deliver her.

I assumed I was the cartel boss in that scenario. but i guess i wouldn't do my own dirty work so... whatever.
No. 934871 ID: 11bf02
File 155970806956.jpg - (176.52KB , 750x750 , 14.jpg )

Cartel's attacking. Now what?
No. 934898 ID: 8d4593

I see. You betrayed your brothers.
Welp only one thing to do now.

Equip your Grenade launcher and mount a most ignoble steed!
No. 934907 ID: 11bf02
File 155976123567.jpg - (99.05KB , 750x750 , 15.jpg )

The shitty thing on the back is a rocket launcher. We ride over to the cartel chodes.
No. 934908 ID: 11bf02
File 155976134419.jpg - (128.75KB , 750x750 , 16.jpg )

I flash some fat stacks so I can buy em off, and then I guess I can go make another cartel for that orgy or whatever.

"We refuse your bribery. You will die for your betrayal."

No. 934911 ID: 8d4593

Stick the Rocket launcher up the short one's ass, Then rocket jump to safety.

That shit's gonna be so fire, yo.
No. 934912 ID: 891b91

Summon ants! Lots and lots of ants.
No. 934917 ID: 11bf02
File 155976554222.jpg - (161.24KB , 750x750 , 17.jpg )

There he goes. Presumably wherever he lands it'll be safer than next to me.
No. 934918 ID: 11bf02
File 155976558368.jpg - (122.84KB , 750x750 , 18.jpg )

Maybe not though. These guys don't seem too bothered by ants.
No. 934949 ID: 8d4593

Wow. These guys are tough. They really made it this far huh?

No. 934953 ID: b44f0c

Devour their souls and ascend to daemonhood
No. 934957 ID: 8d4593

Wait no! If he Goes full Daemon he might run into Hif Man!
No. 935010 ID: 11bf02
File 155985212383.jpg - (154.85KB , 750x750 , 19.jpg )


This is about as true a form as I got. Anything more complicated would take more than 5 minutes to make.

>Devour their souls and ascend to daemonhood

So two issues with that. First, they don't have souls, and I certainly don't feel like givin' em any. Second, I can't ascend anywhere. I'm the peak of whatev-
No. 935011 ID: 11bf02
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No. 935015 ID: 5a647d

No. 935017 ID: 11bf02
File 155985782528.jpg - (60.59KB , 750x750 , 21.jpg )

No. 935018 ID: 11bf02
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No. 935019 ID: 11bf02
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No. 935020 ID: 11bf02
File 155985787079.jpg - (10.95KB , 750x750 , 24.jpg )

No. 935021 ID: 11bf02
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No. 935022 ID: 11bf02
File 155985790848.jpg - (63.23KB , 750x750 , 26.jpg )

No. 935027 ID: b1b4f3

These guys aren't mortal?! EVAC! Also do something about your wound.
Then start gathering information, find out where they came from. Something is interfering with your omnipotent power.
No. 937489 ID: 0de55d

Yoooooo. Blast'em harder
No. 940723 ID: e5e15e
File 156433598454.png - (81.29KB , 750x750 , 27.png )

Yeah fuck this. That bullet hurt like losing your laptop for months.
No. 940724 ID: e5e15e
File 156433601156.png - (40.51KB , 750x750 , 28.png )

I'm leaving a parting gift though.
No. 940725 ID: e5e15e
File 156433625176.png - (33.62KB , 750x750 , 29.png )

Alright, I'm safe and bored once again.

>Something is interfering with your omnipotent power.
Context clues say it's another omnipotent jackass, but I never saw him. Just his shitty green whatever. No clue how I'm going to get more info on them. I can't google it.
No. 940742 ID: b1b4f3

Make a swarm of spy drones to find out what's up.
No. 940744 ID: e5e15e
File 156435113023.png - (50.09KB , 750x750 , 30.png )

K. Lets see what's out there.
No. 940745 ID: e5e15e
File 156435114629.png - (14.52KB , 750x750 , 31.png )

No. 940746 ID: e5e15e
File 156435117128.png - (18.44KB , 750x750 , 32.png )

...I forgot to grab the kid before I left the bomb, didn't I.
No. 940782 ID: 4b08a5

Just zap yourself to an alternate reality where the kid survived. Now you have to deal with your duplicate from the new reality. So play a game of paper football with your clone, then absorb him and become twice as powerful.
No. 940787 ID: 4b08a5

Also don't forget to destroy your old universe so those green guys don't fallow you and team up with their clones from the new reality.
No. 940795 ID: 094652

Unring the explosion.
No. 940885 ID: e5e15e
File 156445747865.png - (32.47KB , 750x750 , 33.png )

If I could switch realities I go somewhere that isn't fucking blank white space 100% of the time. I'm stuck in this hellhole.

"D... dad. Dad... dy.

Yeah I'm going back in time then. That's basically unringing the explosion.
No. 940888 ID: e5e15e
File 156445766238.png - (318.76KB , 750x750 , 34.png )

Okay back in time.


That's me getting shot. Unfortunately kid doesn't have the red shit on her face so... huh.

I... might not be able to go back in time? In which case I have no clue what the fuck is going on now.
No. 940889 ID: 96426b

Tell her to run. Live her life! You'll hold them off.
No. 940898 ID: b1b4f3

Hmm. Well at least put a shield around the kid (and yourself) and fastforward a bit to see what happens.
No. 940928 ID: 8b8dfb

You don't need to go back in time to fix this. Teleport her forward in in time right before she would have gotten hit by the explosion.

This way, you will avoid a paradox because after the explosion you realized she was missing. She actually vanished because she was moved forward in time by your future self.
No. 941111 ID: 4b08a5

If all else fails, ctrl+z exactly six times. You will be exactly where you left the bomb. Now grab the girl and leave, once you are safe ctrl+s. It's just a couple Windows shortcuts, and it even works on Mac.

Disclaimer: this will not work with Unix based Operating Systems, Unix does not have an undo feature.
No. 953308 ID: 470289
File 157888692308.png - (48.92KB , 750x750 , 35.png )

>Tell her to run. Live her life! You'll hold them off.
90% sure that ain't alive.

I'll fast-forward though, sure.

Yeah these dudes are still fake. I think I probably just made like, a pocket dimension or some shit. Can't actually time travel.

That sucks.
No. 953309 ID: b1b4f3

Alright time to exit the pocket dimension somehow and see if you can reconstruct her from the bits.
No. 960695 ID: 470289
File 158597805806.png - (84.01KB , 977x804 , 36.png )

>Alright time to exit the pocket dimension somehow and see if you can reconstruct her from the bits.
Yeeeeah, probably should have done this like, 3 months ago.
No. 960696 ID: 470289
File 158597809572.png - (210.63KB , 983x808 , 37.png )

In my defense, I didn't feel like it back then.
No. 960697 ID: 470289
File 158597812289.png - (17.85KB , 793x518 , 38.png )

Anyway she's... fine. Probably.
No. 960698 ID: b1b4f3

You should ask if she's okay.
No. 960699 ID: 470289
File 158597986318.png - (20.18KB , 602x617 , 39.png )

"You okay?"

"Why... Hurt... Me...?"
No. 960700 ID: b1b4f3

Uh yeah that was an accident sorry. Your excuse is that you're an idiot. Offer hugs?
No. 960701 ID: 470289
File 158598137809.png - (17.95KB , 652x681 , 40.png )

"Yeah, my bad. Accident." My excuse is that I'm kinda careless, not stupid. "You want a hug?"

"Hate... You..."

Yeah, that's probably fair.
No. 960863 ID: e7c7d3

Time to go to the toy section and appease her with distracting bits of plastic
No. 960865 ID: b1b4f3

That makes two of you, I suppose.

Good idea.
No. 962363 ID: 470289
File 158718563607.png - (166.28KB , 1226x897 , 41.png )

>Time to go to the toy section and appease her with distracting bits of plastic
Poof, we're there.

"What is... this?"

"...Toys. You know, for kids."
No. 962364 ID: 470289
File 158718575827.png - (117.25KB , 1324x821 , 42 for real.png )

"Why wou- would I want... toys? I want... no pain."

"Well good fucking luck getting that, kid."
No. 962366 ID: b1b4f3

What's that sparkly thing?
No. 962367 ID: 470289
File 158718828982.png - (87.09KB , 1265x812 , 43.png )

What sparkly th-
No. 962368 ID: 470289
File 158718832668.png - (107.73KB , 1289x837 , 44.png )

Jesus fucking christ what the fuck is this guy.
No. 962369 ID: b1b4f3

Does he not have any eyes?
Ask him what he's doing here.
No. 962372 ID: 470289
File 158718947304.png - (60.73KB , 901x626 , 45 I should probably like, put jokes in these, but.png )

"Who the fuck are you?" Pretty sure the 'stars' are his eyes, like my and the kids squiggles.

"Hi Hi Hi. Ya havin' fun, son?"

Holy hell that text is horrendous.
No. 962373 ID: b1b4f3

So uh, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you weren't the first entity to start creating shit. Or, by creating things, you stirred up the fabric of reality enough that more entities like you popped into existence. Might want to find out how many others there are.

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