No, no, no, you did your introduction wrong. you gotta go like:

*RECORD SCRATCH* "Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got into this situation."

>but first you should figure out...
how to get untied from this anvil that is dragging you deep underwater before you reach the bottom of the deep sea and probably drown.

maybe grab the nearest crab or swordfish, and use that as a way to cut yourself loose.

What this creature is that's holding you upside down!

figure out how to get your hair to look like this all the time.

...Why gravity is backwards now.

Figure out what the heck a whichwyrm is.

Cast a boobie enlargement spell on yourself

Contact 4th dimensional neuron spiders for advice

Check and make sure you wore pants or a skirt today

Well, first you should figure out what your situation and environment is. Based on the way your hair, cape, bracelets, and arms are hanging, I'd say you're being suspended by your leg. So the first thing to do is to figure out what's below you so you know if it's safe to try and drop to the ground or not.

Sofia 2026/07/19(Sun)01:03 No. 1129491 ID: 7e3392
File 178442303253.png - (14.54KB , 500x500 , 2.png )

>what the heck is a whichwyrm?

You're glad you asked yourself that! always important to take stock of everything you know in a sticky situation.

The name "Whichwyrm" actually comes from "wormhole creature", which describes how your kind first arrived in the land, pouring out of strange portals and mingling with the primordial slimes and awakened creatures of the realm. As such, whichwyrms bear many attributes from all sorts of creatures. You come from one of the fluffier ones, the dust slimes.
Other than that, you don't have any special abilities to speak of that come from your race. You're kind of squishy, and a little bit resistant to slashing damage, but you otherwise can't take a beating very well.

Sofia 2026/07/19(Sun)01:03 No. 1129492 ID: 7e3392
File 178442303643.png - (12.03KB , 500x500 , 3.png )

>why is gravity backwards?
>figure out how to get untied from anvil

You look up (or down?) and see the other end of the rope tied to an anvil. it's mercilessly out of reach of even your longest extremities. you can't believe you weigh several times less than an anvil, and make a mental note to gain weight so this doesn't happen again.
on the ground beneath you is your CAP and your BOOK and a SMALL KEY (that's what you were trying to get before you got caught). The book is laying opened. There's an open doorway on one of the walls (you remember that's how you entered this room).

Sofia 2026/07/19(Sun)01:04 No. 1129493 ID: 7e3392
File 178442304339.png - (10.99KB , 500x500 , 4.png )

>figure out how to get your hair to look like that all the time

you're pretty sure you know of a spell that could do that, but you don't remember the incantation for it. You can check later if you manage to get your book back.


>cast boobie enlargement spell on yourself

That might help offset the weight of the anvil! But without at least your cap the best you can do is make them extra sensitive, and that's not going to help right now.
You do it anyway tho because i mean... might as well.
Your boobs are now more sensitive.

Sofia 2026/07/19(Sun)01:04 No. 1129494 ID: 7e3392
File 178442305804.png - (11.92KB , 500x500 , 5.png )

>contact 4th dimensional neuron spiders for advice

You try to focus your third eye on what you might imagine a fourth dimensional being to look like, before you realize you're not using your fourth eye. You were never particularly gifted in this realm of scrying, but if you had the right glasses you might be able to focus.
Still, maybe if you can't see them, you might still be able to speak to them.
"Oh great and kind fourth dimensional neuron spiders, please aid me in escaping this dumb trap i stumbled into like an idiot."

you haven't attuned your hearing to the fourth dimension, and can hear no response. Nothing seems to happen.

Sofia 2026/07/19(Sun)01:04 No. 1129495 ID: 7e3392
File 178442306470.png - (8.75KB , 500x500 , 6.png )

>check and make sure you're wearing pants or a skirt

you're good. Seems a little wet from the booby spell you cast, but otherwise undamaged.

we're part slime right? arent we a bit more flexable so we can get our foot our of the rope?

Swing!
maybe try to reach the rope over there. Maybe your weight and gravity will pull you up? Down?

Start swinging yourself back and forth until you can reach the wall. This will allow you to slam your face into the wall. Once you have slammed your face into the wall, you can try to grab the other half of the rope and get upright.

swing yourself to the anvil rope and gnaw on it

Hm... if you masturbate enough, could you get your ankle to sweat and lubricate the rope trap for your foot to slip through?

>>1129501
If you masturbate enough you could probably cum hard enough to spray your ankle, and also the rope, slicking up both enough to get down.

Or, if that’s a bit too debasing, (TL note: sfw option) you could just… cast a spell to untie the knot? Surely boobs sensitivity levels of power could just… move the rope to not be tying you up?

Swing til you can grab the anvil rope, see what you can do then.

What's stopping you from "crouching" so you can reach the knot and untie it? Like:
O---== O \O/ /|\ |, O, / \ / \ (</ , , | | | | | | | |

Sofia 2026/07/19(Sun)17:55 No. 1129519 ID: 7e3392
File 178448375808.png - (16.49KB , 500x500 , 7.png )

>arent we part slime? can we flex our foot out of the rope?

You are pretty flexible thanks to your Dust Slime ancestry, but that rope is pretty tightly fixed around your ankle, and unfortunately you do have bones and flesh. Still, maybe you could...


>masturbate to sweat your ankle through the rope/cum on the rope

... you're not particularly excited by the idea while alone in this room. MAYBE if you knew that someone could see or was at least aware you were doing it, then you MIGHT be able to get properly worked up and sweaty about it to slip through the rope, but no good otherwise. There needs to be a second party present for you to get off about it.

Sofia 2026/07/19(Sun)17:56 No. 1129520 ID: 7e3392
File 178448376496.png - (13.47KB , 500x500 , 8.png )

>swing back and forth to grab the other end of the rope

you awkwardly wiggle back and forth to gain momentum, and manage to grab ahold of the other rope.


>gnaw on the rope

you bare your fangs and set to work chewing through the rope. It tastes alright. not like, great, but better than you expected a dungeon rope to taste.

Sofia 2026/07/19(Sun)17:56 No. 1129521 ID: 7e3392
File 178448377220.png - (57.63KB , 500x500 , 9.png )

after a few minutes you're successfully able to cut through the rope and drop straight to the floor with a dull thud. You take a few points of damage from the impact.

Sofia 2026/07/19(Sun)17:56 No. 1129522 ID: 7e3392
File 178448377720.png - (16.05KB , 500x500 , 10.png )

You reunite yourself with your gear, tucking the key into one of your pocket hollows, and pull a map out of the book. The cap fills you with power and eases the pain of the impact, but it can’t undo the embarrassment of falling right on your head. You’re at least thankful there wasn’t anyone around to see it happen. You don’t know if you’re into that kind of humiliation.

(You can now ask both your cap and your book for ideas if you get stuck. The cap boosts your mana pool and casting level significantly. the book contains nearly every secret known or unknown, but finding those secrets within its pages is difficult, and keeping the knowledge outside the book is even trickier. Still, these are an invaluable pair of tools you can use to help navigate the castle ruins. Don't Lose Them Again!)


You examine the map. You're in the first sublevel of the YAWN CASTLE RUINS. You've already explored a couple of rooms, but this key is the first item you've found. Looking over the map you can see there's a handful of rooms you haven't been to yet: a PANTRY, an ARMORY, and a STUDY. A couple of unmarked rooms and passages connect the spaces between each room. There's also a large DOOR marked between this level and the next.

Where to?

Raid the PANTRY for food!

I vote for the study. There's typically a magical Orb or two in them.

Put anvil in your inventory

Start with the pantry, a snack will bring your morale back up.

Sofia 2026/07/19(Sun)19:48 No. 1129530 ID: 7e3392
File 178449050743.png - (10.08KB , 500x500 , 11.png )

>pantry first, food will boost morale

You decide to head to the area marked PANTRY first. You don't know if the food would keep well in the ruins, but a meal is a meal. Maybe there are some non perishable goods or preserved meats you can stock up on.
Before you leave tho...


>put the anvil in your inventory

You look at the anvil, nudging it with your foot. It doesn't budge at all. It's not bolted to anything, it's just significantly heavier than you are. It's not so big it couldn't fit in a pocket hollow, but you still would need to lift it. Do you want to try to lift it yourself, or look for a spell to help?

Are you sure you even really want to carry an anvil around...?

You can portal it somewhere safe for later with your wormhole and when you need to squish an enemy, you can portal it above an enemy

>>1129530
cast 'ensmallen' and 'un-heavy' on the Anvil so you can use it to knock someone out later.

also [Enhance Knockers]

When you've become stronger at the end of your journey you can come back and lift the anvil, to visualize how far you've come.

we cam also put the rope in our inventory if anything

Cast Enhance Knockers and skip carrying the anvil. Tag it with a spell to teleport it directly above your head on demand later.

I know!
Contact your friend kobold objectomancer that you have on speed-magicking and ak him to help you convince the anvil to follow you on your quest!

Sofia 2026/07/20(Mon)05:28 No. 1129591 ID: 7e3392
File 178452530859.png - (18.87KB , 500x500 , 12.png )

>Portal it somewhere for later with a wormhole, so you can squish an enemy with it later

Your Pocket Hollows are an evolution of the ancient wormholes your ancestors used! It's not quite the same as opening a portal, but you could maybe try...

... you open the book and begin to leaf through it. Runes and incantations fill your mind, things you've seen in the book before but always seem to forget reappearing in your mind. You need a spell to create an external portal into your pocket hollows. Warmth fills you, a soft wind rustling your hair.

Sofia 2026/07/20(Mon)05:28 No. 1129592 ID: 7e3392
File 178452531281.png - (12.53KB , 500x500 , 13.png )

A focused calm envelops you, mana channeling through your cap and into your body, and you begin to draw circles in the air.

Sofia 2026/07/20(Mon)05:28 No. 1129593 ID: 7e3392
File 178452531530.png - (3.52KB , 500x500 , 14.png )

The anvil and rope drop into a wormhole, and you feel a small weight somewhere inside you settle.

The hole closes.
(You have an ANVIL and some ROPE)

Sofia 2026/07/20(Mon)05:28 No. 1129594 ID: 7e3392
File 178452532123.png - (29.75KB , 500x500 , 15.png )

>enhance knockers

You flip through the book some more and pick out another spell. You wave your hands around and your boobs are big and sensitive now.

That top is looking a bit tight and small on you. Any sudden movements, or tripping and it could tear apart. Better get to the armory and find something even smaller to wear.

>>1129594
Alright, so, what'd you need the key for?

Don't forget you also acquired a length of rope around your ankle. Convenient for getting snagged on other things.

So is this sensitivity going to work like spider sense?

Check your inventory

>>1129600
Agreed!
Sense the path ahead with your boobage.
Feel the force.

Situation: escaped! Key: obtained!

Okay c'mon let's get a move on and grab some food already, who KNOWS how long we were caught up there?

Sofia 2026/07/21(Tue)00:14 No. 1129644 ID: 7e3392
File 178459289735.png - (12.98KB , 500x500 , 16.png )

>get to the armory before you breast out of your outfit accidentally

Naaaaah that would never happen. You’ve never once been caught in a compromising situation before, you think stupidly out loud to yourself, and it probably won’t happen again anyway. All the same You’ll check out the ARMORY right after the PANTRY.

>what did you need the key for?

You don’t know yet! Could be anything. Maybe a chest in one of the other rooms, or maybe it unlocks the door leading to the second sublevel. The thought of what could be unlocked with this key sends your mind reeling. You stop thinking about it now.

>so is this sensitivity going to work like spider sense?

You already tried to sense the fourth dimensional neuron spiders, and unfortunately your boob magic hasn’t attuned you to their frequencies in any way.
Yet.
No, they’re just distractingly big and feel really good moving against the fabric. You're not sure why you thought now was the time to make them bigger when you no longer need to outweigh an anvil, but you’re also not like, NOT into it… It's tough, but you manage to keep your hands off. Plenty of time for fondling later.

Sofia 2026/07/21(Tue)00:15 No. 1129645 ID: 7e3392
File 178459290014.png - (9.70KB , 500x500 , 17.png )

>check inventory

As you make your way over to the pantry, you take stock of your possessions.

On your person you have:
You have a magic CAP that lets you attune to the mana in the air around you, and focus the well within you.

You have a strange BOOK that’s filled with secrets and spells you can never remember after casting. The eye on the cover is half-lidded after the spells you cast, indicating it’s close to needing a recharge. Inside the book is an incomplete map of the castle ruins.

You have various bangles and bands that offer minor elemental defenses. Like, less than 5%, they're mostly fashionable.

Your outfit is nothing special whatsoever. The cloak is to keep you warm, and the top and bottoms are to keep you cool.

Oh, and the KEY. You can only begin to imagine what sorts of insane things this could unlock. It staggers the mind to consider. You stop thinking about it now.

Sofia 2026/07/21(Tue)00:15 No. 1129646 ID: 7e3392
File 178459290422.png - (281.84KB , 500x500 , 18.png )

Inside your pocket hollows you have:
You have an ANVIL and a length of ROPE tied to it.

You have a CANTEEN filled with fresh clean water.

You have a couple of RATION BRICKS that taste bad but will keep you fed in an emergency. You really really really really really really hope you can find anything else to eat along the way.

There’s also an undefined amount of junk hidden in the darker corners of the hollows. Random odds and ends that you can’t make out the shape of until you grasp them. It’s unreliable, but in a desperate situation you might just be able to focus and find just what you need in there. Or maybe not.


The number of suggestions to find something specific hidden in the pocket hollows add up to a bonus on a roll against a hidden dice class to beat. If you meet it or beat it you find exactly what you’re looking for. If not, SOMETHING ELSE will come out of the hollows…)
the Number to beat will be determined by a couple of things:
* the danger of the situation
* The chance of finding a specific type of item
Danger rating will be given when a situation like a battle or event begins. The item chance is not revealed, and adds to the danger rating, creating the difficulty to beat. There need to be at least two suggestions that match in order to lock in a specific item, otherwise it becomes a pool of items that might be picked.
The total number of suggestions to wrest something from the hollows add up to the player’s roll as a bonus against the difficulty to beat. If your number meets or exceeds the difficulty then you find the item, or one of the items listed in suggestions. If not, you find something else that will make things more dangerous.
If there is no danger rating, (ie. outside combat) the success will be determined by what "feels cool and fun". So, you can play with it outside of combat! Just, try to remember your goal is to find The Orb hidden in the ruins. Your actions should broadly move you towards that objective ^^;

Sofia 2026/07/21(Tue)00:15 No. 1129647 ID: 7e3392
File 178459290767.png - (13.61KB , 500x500 , 19.png )

>lets get a move on and grab some food already!

You make your way through the ruins and shortly arrive at the spot marked PANTRY. It's a pretty small room, but it's full of jars and bottles and barrels and sacks. Some of it looks like it's been taken by ruins mold, but some of the stuff still seems good.

More importantly tho, you can see there's a SLIME standing next to a table. It seems to be studying a map and has a few food items spread over the table. It's back is to you, and doesn't seem to notice you as you enter.

That SLIME looks good enough to eat!

'Anything good to eat in here?'

>>1129647
Ambush, interrogate.

put barrel on slime to catch

Okay, let's consider this thoroughly. There's a slime: seemingly having at least half of a humanoid-esque form, staring at that map. Probably intelligent, might be amicable to conversation.
That staff also looks... potentially magical, in the "I heal people" way. Don't forget the... halo?? Probably a cleric.

Try and convince them to give you the halo. Always wondered what one of those might taste like.

Gently announce yourself but keep your hand on your spell book just in case.

New objective: Make friends with the slime! Like some kind of… slime… quest? Yeah.

Try and remember how you ended up here in the first place. Is this a heist or an escape?

oh right, the orb! that slime might know something... but they might also be responsible for setting that trap.

they haven't spotted you yet, so, before you reveal yourself, get a good look at the other side of the room. are there any other exits?

Grab food first, see if you can’t make a sandwich, then once you start eating then ask what the slime is doing.

"OH MY GOODNESS, YOU'RE NAKED!"

Befriend slime

>>1129647
Unless it had just eaten a healer moments before you walked through the door, thats an intelligent slime
So, unless theres a skeleton in it posed the same, your safe.

Your boobs arent tingling danger, just the low lever nice tingle so its safe.

Say hi, introduc self. acquire dinner, sneak a look at map

Sofia 2026/07/21(Tue)21:19 No. 1129677 ID: 7e3392
File 178466877276.png - (9.35KB , 500x500 , 20.png )

>try to remember how you ended up here. is this a heist or an escape?

You're here to retrieve an orb said to be hidden somewhere in the ruins, so you could say it's a heist? More of an expedition. The ruins were only fairly recently discovered on this chunk of the world. You were hired by some bird lady to make your way through and find this orb. You're the latest in a line of adventurers hired to get the orb. Supposedly none of them ever came back from the ruins. You didn't ask about it, and she didn't tell you, but you get the feeling you were picked as a sort of "Last Chance" option.
So it probably means it'll go super good for you!

You were sent in with a map the scholar managed to dig up, but it only shows the first two floors. You were planning to make your own map along the way, but if this slime has one then maybe the two of you could compare notes. Assuming they're friendly...


>get a good look at the other side of the room, are there any exits?

Nope, just more shelves and cupboards and stuff.
(i dont want to draw it, just imagine it.)


>anything good to eat in here?

Hard to tell without opening things, but it seems like there's a few things untouched by mold or preserved well enough to last indefinitely.
You can reach one of the jars nearby. It's full of preserved fruits. You pop off the lid and give it a taste. Pretty good.
You'll see what else you can scrounge up after...

Sofia 2026/07/21(Tue)21:19 No. 1129678 ID: 7e3392
File 178466878254.png - (10.09KB , 500x500 , 21.png )

>make friends with slime, cautiously

Your boobs detect no malice in this creature. You step forward and clear your throat.

"Hello, friend?"

The slime jumps with an "EEP!" and whips around to face you, holding her staff in front of her for defense. "D-don't hurt me! I taste bad and I don't even have very good items anyway so , so, so just-"

she fumbles and drops her staff and bursts into tears.

Sofia 2026/07/21(Tue)21:19 No. 1129679 ID: 7e3392
File 178466878775.png - (8.64KB , 500x500 , 22.png )

"whoah whoah whoah, sorry, I'm not looking for a fight! I just was looking for an orb somewhere in the ruins, have you seen anything like that around here?"


"y-you mean you're not going to try and eat me...?"

The thought DID cross your mind, but are you really going to say that? No, not right now. Maybe later tho.

"No, I'm not gonna eat you. What about the food in here, is any of it still good?" You hold out the jar you found, "This seems fine."


She breathes a shaky sigh of relief. "ougghgh I'm sorry about that, I'm such an embarrassment... You said something about an orb? I was actually also looking for one of those too, but I got lost. My map doesnt seem to match this area at all, and I was just trying to make sense of it..."


You cross the room and peer at her map. Comparing it to your map, it seems like this is for a floor much much lower in the ruins. "Yeah I guess this wouldn't be much help up here. Look, why don't we stick together? We'll have an easier time finding the orb as a team."

The slime beams at you and extends a goopy hand. "I'd really appreciate the help, thank you!"

(What is her name?)

Aloe Verde.

Sofia 2026/07/21(Tue)21:46 No. 1129681 ID: 7e3392
File 178467038198.png - (12.03KB , 500x500 , 23.png )

"I'm Aloe Verde," she says as she shakes your hand, "I'm a cleric, so I can heal you if you get hurt or sick. Probably.."

"Nice to meet you, Aloe. I'm Charlotte, I'm a mage. I'll blow up anything and anyone that tries to hurt you."

formalize this partnership with a hug

Check spellbook for spell that restores food freshness. Have lunch together and get her story.

Oh! Now we have a witness for if our top slips! Definitely *don’t* think about that the entire way to the armory!

Hey, I was right, she IS a cleric! Nice!
c'mon we gotta take a nibble of her halo, maybe it tastes like angel food cake...

...so, what's the halo taste like?

Now you need to come up with a really lame team name. Something like... "Slichwyrm" a portmanteau of slime and whichwyrm!

Did somebody bite her halo is that why she's afraid of getting eaten

>>1129691
No wait, I came up with something better: Slyrm. Strike fear into the hearts of your enemies with the power of SLYRM!

>>1129644
Boob Mana?

>>1129681
Daw.
Shes adorable.
Hopefully not caustic.

Enhance your knockers as a show of friendship

Sofia 2026/07/24(Fri)00:01 No. 1129781 ID: 7e3392
File 178485129849.png - (12.77KB , 500x500 , 24.png )

>taste the halo
>what does the halo taste like?
>you should see what the halo tastes like
>Halo taste test when?
>what that halo taste like tho

While Aloe isn't looking you quickly sneak a nibble. It tastes like a mango lemonade gummy fruit, but the mouth feel is more like a sort of plastic, if it were also made of sunlight. Not bad.

8/10

Sofia 2026/07/24(Fri)00:01 No. 1129782 ID: 7e3392
File 178485130159.png - (31.21KB , 500x500 , 25.png )

>check spellbook for something that restores food freshness

You take a look at the food spread across the table. Some of it looks fine, but a lot isn't.

"Hey are you hungry? I can maybe fresh some of this stuff up and we can have some lunch before we move on."

You open the book and begin to leaf through it. Runes and incantations fill your mind, things you've seen in the book before but always seem to forget reappearing in your mind. You need a spell to restore the freshness of the food. Warmth fills you, a soft wind rustling your hair.

A focused calm envelops you, mana channeling through your cap and into your body, and you begin to draw circles in the air. The food on the table rapidly rejuvenates before your eyes, fresh fruits and meats, even the bread has a bit of freshly cooked steam wafting off of it.

Sofia 2026/07/24(Fri)00:01 No. 1129783 ID: 7e3392
File 178485130586.gif - (39.29KB , 500x500 , 26.gif )

Aloe looks over your shoulder as you work. "Oh, hey i recognize some of those passages! Why are you casting spells from a cleric tome?" You snap the book shut immediately.

You look at the cover as you tuck it into your pocket hollows and notice the eye is fully open when it should have lost a little power just now. You glance at Aloe. She looks taken aback, but otherwise unharmed. A shiver ripples down your spine, but you try to ignore it.

Sofia 2026/07/24(Fri)00:01 No. 1129784 ID: 7e3392
File 178485130795.png - (12.07KB , 500x500 , 27.png )

"S-sorry," you mumble awkwardly."It's not a cleric tome, there's uh, you know. There's some crossover, with, uhm," already the memory of the page contents is leaking out of your mind like water through a loose mesh, "crosses over with uhh... the ... spell. You know, like uh..." your mind is completely blank again. "Anyway... the food is ready to eat now."

Aloe looks confused. "Oh, I guess mages need to know a little bit of every school of magic, right? Restoring food is probably like healing magic."

"Y-yeah! I think so, I'm not too versed in it, but yeah, that probably is it." You grab a chunk of bread and stuff it in your mouth so you can't answer any more questions about the book. You're not even sure you could explain it to her, but you're glad at least that she didn't see more than she did.

Sofia 2026/07/24(Fri)00:01 No. 1129785 ID: 7e3392
File 178485131008.png - (13.36KB , 500x500 , 28.png )

The two of you lunch it up here in the pantry, chatting idly about different things.

"So, ahh, I don't mean to pry, but , aren't you a little... exposed...? for, dungeon crawling...?" Aloe asks. You can tell she's trying and failing not to stare at your huge boobs.

"Oh, these?" you squish them together playfully, "heh, it was for a puzzle I was caught up in earlier. I could make them bigger for you if you want?" you say slyly.

"Oh I mean I, ah, if , if you, did, feel like, doing, that, I , I mean, I wouldn't ,, Try and ., stop you,, if you wanted , to do. that."

well she did ask, just make sure to take your top off before doing so, so you don't accidentally ruin your top. I know these dungeons usually have tons of gear laying around for the taking but it could still be awhile before you find another top and it might not even be suitable for your class. Might as well just play it safe and take your top off before casting the spell to save yourself the headache.

Oh no, a casting mishap has caused the spell to affect both of you, how unfortunate...

>>1129785
Big belly is good like big tit

>>1129785
Yeah might as well.
Also warn her not to look in the book. It probably drained her, or some of her cleric power, to refill.

This guy has good ideas. Bigger tummy could also be great from a strategic standpoint, more padding to potentially protect vitals and all that...

Sorry, what was I saying? Oh yeah, right! Aloe seems chill, let's offer her to come along with us!

Bigger boobs again! Your top can totally contain them! …Right?

She's a slime. Ya gotta be blunt. Ask if she wants sex.

>>1129785
She could make them bigger - I bet a slime would feel nice inside our tits

>Flirt

If you get much bigger you might just pop out of your top. Then she'd have to help you find something else to cover up with unless she's cool with you being topless..?

>>1129806
Cast 'Flexability' on your top so it maintains your bust

A good spell is worth casting twice. Keep the top on so you can pop out!

Well time to tuck and roll into the slime.

>>1129808
Agreed
Otherwise when that thing goes off, itll kill someone

Why are you so embarrassed about your book?

Also, enhance knockers.