>>1127339
Oooo solid plan, I like this.

>>1127339
And ifcwe have new axe.
Then have old axe.
changing one item into another?
Magic!
Grem transmogrificate!

Kakroon 2026/06/18(Thu)18:59 No. 1128245 ID: 681cb5
File 178180918692.png - (98.34KB , 1000x1000 , 24.png )

>Wait!!! Kobblav said he wanted an axe that was old and well used!
OH NO! Grem axe is too good! But how will Grem make new axe into old axe? Grem rather not wait for it to be old like elder kobold.
>We use axe on wood. Wear axe down. Then get old looking axe and wood for trading!
But axe is heavy and Grem is tiny. Grem not made to cut wood, Grem made to eat moss and be mighty wizard. Also, making new axe into old axe take long time, Grem not have long time.

>We have one more easy step in our trading chain. We need to find someone with a worn down axe, and give them a free upgrade!
Yay! Trade axe for axe! Easy! Now Grem just need to find someone with old axe to trade…
>Changing one item into another? Magic! Grem transmogrificate!
Gremogrification! Grem already named Wizard Grems greatest magic. Now Grem just need to learn magic.

If Grem will trade then Grem need stall, and lucky for Grem Grem already has Grem stall called Grems’s Grem stall for Grem. Yay! Grem will now trade new axe for old axe, as well as friend rocks and moss for shiny. Kobolds love friend rocks and moss.


>While waiting can pick flowers and make a hair garland. Girls like those right?
But flowers not like getting put in water. Makes them sad. Merman do not want to give sad flowers to Mergal. Grem have to find other thing Mergal want. Thing that likes going in water. Or at least indifferent to water.

After doing some trading at Grem stall, Grem has bad news and good news…

Bad news – Kobolds have no axe to trade. Humans not trade with Kobolds, they just poke them with sharp sticks until Kobold stops moving. Gnoll not trade with Kobolds, Gnoll just take from kobold without giving back. Thus, Grem not get old axe for new axe.
Good news – Grem has 4 shiny now from trading Friend Rocks and Moss to other kobolds.

Current Grem pocket stuff:
Unused Axe
Rock friend
Moss
lint
4 shiny

Hmm. Maybe we can find an old axe rather than waiting for one to come to us. Maybe go to the woods and look for someone to trade with?

OH! wait important step for being a magic guy, disguise! Grem needs a disguise like some kind of mossy forest spirit so they can go to where the humans are using axes to trade new for old. Cause humans that use axes are the ones who most need new axe. And they know not to make forest spirits angry so they can't say no.

Time for the stocks of Grem to rise. With this brilliant business plan soon Grem will rule the world!

Kakroon 2026/10/08(Thu)21:16 No. 1132738 ID: 681cb5
File 179149416373.png - (129.62KB , 1000x1000 , 25.png )

>Time for the stocks of Grem to rise. With this brilliant business plan soon Grem will rule the world!
Grem invested all stonks in Moss! Grem going to sun, which is even bigger than moon! Sadly, Grem then ate the moss and now Grem bankrupt. That is just how the free market works.

>Hmm. Maybe we can find an old axe rather than waiting for one to come to us. Maybe go to the woods and look for someone to trade with?
But who to trade with? Human not trade with Kobold. Gnoll only take and not give. Kobold have no axe. Grem need plan…
>Important step for being a magic guy, disguise! Grem needs a disguise like some kind of mossy forest spirit so they can go to where the Gnolls are using axes to trade new for old.
Perfect! Grem fool Gnolls that Grem not Grem the Kobold but Grem the forest creature! Grem is genius!

Gnoll 1: “Brah! Your axe sucks balls!”
Gnoll 2: “My axe is vintage, brah! A real Alpha axe, brah!”
Gnoll 1: “Brah, your axe is falling apart! Brah, no Alpha would have a broken axe.”
Gnoll 2: “That’s just what a Beta would say, brah.”
Gnoll 1 & 2: “Brah! Brah brah brah? BRAH!”

Kakroon 2026/10/08(Thu)21:16 No. 1132739 ID: 681cb5
File 179149417432.png - (101.18KB , 1000x1000 , 26.png )

GREM: “Behold! Grem the Spirit comes to you with a-”
Gnoll 1: “Brah, Is that one of those dork Kobolds?”
Gnoll 2: “It looks like a nerd Kobold, brah.”
GREM: “No, no, Grem is forest spirit-”
Gnoll 1: “Brah, it got a new axe.”
Gnoll 2: “Let’s kick their ass and take it, brah!”
GREM: “Wait, don’t kick Grem’s behind or-”
Gnoll 1: “WOO! ASS KICKING TIME!”
Gnoll 2: “LET’S FRICKING GO!”

Kakroon 2026/10/08(Thu)21:16 No. 1132740 ID: 681cb5
File 179149418288.png - (123.30KB , 1000x1000 , 27.png )

[Sounds of a poor kobold getting their ass kicked by two Gnolls]

Kakroon 2026/10/08(Thu)21:16 No. 1132741 ID: 681cb5
File 179149419097.png - (114.06KB , 1000x1000 , 28.png )

Ow… Grems plan failed. Grem lost axe and Grem got beat up. They even stole Grem’s shinies, the fiends! Now Grem have no axe at all!

Gnoll 1: “Thanks for the axe, dork!”
Gnoll 2: “Later Nerd!”

Grems everything hurts.

Current Grem pocket stuff:
No Axe (Axe stolen)
Rock friend
Moss
lint
0 shiny (All shinys gone! Forever!)

those dummies left two halfaxes for Grem to steal

Hmmm... They left behind an old worn axe like we need. It's just broken. Seems the gnoll who was using it had a little bandana that was holding it together. Surely we could use some nearby vines, or some kelp from the lake, to a similar effect? Then we can take it to Kobblav~ If an axe with a bandana holding it together counts as an axe, then repairing it with other things should also be fine! Worst case though, a broken axe is the most old and worn that an axe can be! So even of we can't fully fix it, should still be good for presenting to Kobblav.

>>1132749
And we all know two is better than one!

Trail these motherfuckers to their camp

Don't despair, Grem!

Sometimes strength comes from the most unlikely sources.
Pick from your pocket the moss everyone says is the grossest, the one they call spinach; it will give you the strength you need.

Once that's done, and with courage renewed, start over your negotiations.

Send your rock friend flying, as hard as you can, towards the mean gnolls, let your them stablish contact in a new and more impactful manner.
Quick! Do it before the gnolls leave for good!

Obtain new half AX!

Kakroon 2026/10/12(Mon)20:44 No. 1132909 ID: 681cb5
File 179183785217.png - (84.36KB , 1000x1000 , 29.png )

>Send your rock friend flying, as hard as you can, towards the mean gnolls.
NYA!

Grem let friend rock fly towards those two meanies, but they are already too far away to be befriended by friend rock. Grem can only watch them disappear among the trees.

>Trail these mother huggers to their camp
Grem already know where Gnolls live. Grem not need to follow Gnolls to find Gnolls home.
>Pick from your pocket the moss everyone says is the grossest, the one they call spinach; it will give you the strength you need.
Grem not know what Spinning ache is, but Grem not like ache so Grem not like spinning it either. But Grem do like moss… sadly, Grem only had little moss left and now it’s gone as Grem ate it. Grem sad.

Kakroon 2026/10/12(Mon)20:44 No. 1132910 ID: 681cb5
File 179183786295.png - (148.71KB , 1000x1000 , 30.png )

>Those dummies left two halfaxes for Grem to steal. Obtain new half AX!
Grem take broken half of axe and half broken axe, which is together kind of a full ax?
>And we all know two is better than one!
Grem think it’s only one axe but two parts? Or two half parts of two axes than make one axe?

>Worst case though, a broken axe is the most old and worn that an axe can be! So even of we can't fully fix it, should still be good for presenting to Kobblav.
But tree friend asked for worn axe, not broken axe. Grem cannot give broken axe, or Tree man might get angry! Grem need to find a way to repair axe…
>Seems the gnoll who was using it had a little bandana that was holding it together. Surely we could use some nearby vines, or some kelp from the lake, to a similar effect?
Grem tries their best, but Grem no tool maker. Even with vines Grem not manage to make Axe whole again.

…this is pointless. Grem is a failure. Grem had axe to give, now Grem have nothing. No Hat, No Staff, No orb to ponder. Grem lousy wizard. Grem lousy Kobold. Grem just lousy.

>Don't despair, Grem!
Sadly, Grem not have a pear. Grem even more sad now.

Current Grem pocket stuff:
Broken, worthless axe.
Rock friend
No moss (all eaten)
lint
0 shiny (still stolen)
Hurt (Everywhere)
Sadness (Full of it)

Current Gremjectives:
Give new axe to tree man for staff
Find gift for Merman girlfriend for orb
Find a mighty wizard hat.
Give up and go home a broken Kobold

Half axe + Half axe + Something to stick them together = 1 worn axe.

All part of the plan.

Grem spirit is as broken as this axe
fix Grem like we would fix axe
sticky sap or tar will stick it together
so Grem should eat sap

>>1132916
Yes, maybe sap will help things? As glue if not as food. You're pretty near the goal; you have a worn axe, it just needs to be fixed.

>>1132910
Get strip of cloth -> soak in pine sap -> wrap around broken axe handle

This is so sad. Have a good cry, wash your face if you can, but don't give up yet.
If you can remove the wood from the top part of the axe, you might be able to attach the head to the bottom part.

Kakroon 2026/10/15(Thu)22:45 No. 1133038 ID: 681cb5
File 179210432848.png - (98.23KB , 1000x1000 , 31.png )

>Half axe + Half axe + Something to stick them together = 1 worn axe.
Half axe + Half axe + Rock friend…
GREM: “Grem cannot combine those things.”

Half axe + Half axe + Hurt…
GREM: “Grem cannot combine those Grems.”

Half axe + Half axe + Sadness…
GREM: “Grem cannot Grem those Grems.”

…Grem is out of ideas. Also items in pocket.

>Maybe sap will help things?
Sap is sticky and gets everywhere! It might work! Grem hurt tree little so tree give sap. Sorry tree, but Grem need sap to heal tree cutting axe for tree friend!
…
…wait… Grem not sure-
Oh!
Grem fixed axe! Two axes become one axe! Success!
What was Grem thinking about again?

>Grem spirit is as broken as this axe.
Sap is also sweet. Licking up sap leftovers also heal Grems soul. Like Axe! Grem more happy now, but still hurt. One Grem eye still cannot show world Grem in.

Kakroon 2026/10/15(Thu)22:45 No. 1133039 ID: 681cb5
File 179210433798.png - (115.41KB , 1400x800 , 32.png )

Grem hurry to big tree friend! Nothing can stop Grem from-

OH NO GREM TRIP!

OH NO AXE FALL INTO PUDDLE OF WATER!

OH NO WHY IS THERE PUDDLE OF WATER HERE GREM NOT REMEMBER PUDDLE BEING HERE BEFORE?

OH NO GREM CAN’T STOP THINKING IN ALL CAPS!

Kakroon 2026/10/15(Thu)22:45 No. 1133040 ID: 681cb5
File 179210434767.png - (79.17KB , 1000x1000 , 33.png )

As Grem watches the axe disappear into the oddly deep puddle of water, Grem sees strange shiny thing coming up. Suddenly, there is big lizard with shiny axe standing before Grem. Grem feel small.

Maiden of the Puddle: “Hark, valiant Knight, it is but I, the fair maiden of the puddle! Whoms may thou be, sir knight?”
GREM: “…Grem?”
Maiden of the Puddle: “Sir Grem, did thou drop this golden axe into my puddle by any chance? Do thou wish for it to be returneth unto thee, oh brave knight of the mossy table?”

…Grem has no idea what is going on anymore.

Current Grem pocket stuff:
Rock friend
lint
Sap (stuck on claws)
Hurt (Most places)

>>1133040
No, you didn't drop that. If you had a golden axe like that you'd never leave it in a puddle!
Can she give your worn axe back to you please? Actually she's some kind of spirit right, can she fix the handle properly?

You are no knight! You are regular Grem, soon to be mighty wizard Grem! Dive into the puddle yourself to retrieve the axe!

The Axe can wait, is Maiden single?

Demand Maiden
>"No."
Throw a rock at her, ignore golden axe, seize Maiden
Victory

>>1133040
No we need our worn axe back not this golden thing

>>1133040
Ask the pretty lady how to be cool and powerful and how to be a lizard.
Grem is sad and wants to be these things.
Also compliment her. People like compliments!

no the spirit wants a worn axe
shiny axe only good for getting stolen

>>1133040
Do not lie. It is a pretty axe, but it is not the one you dropped. Maybe the pretty maiden can teach you magic?

Tell maiden she is pretty! Then explain your axe is not that axe. Should we ask if she likes horse mermen?

Compliment the Maiden on her strength. The axe must be very heavy if it's made of pure gold! And also is probably bad for cutting trees with because gold is soft.

Ask if Maiden is a wizard to teach Grem wizardry.

Ask her if she needs a better home that isn’t a puddle, like a pond or something

Ask if she knows Merman. She seems like a lady he would like, big and underwater!

Say you dropped a vintage, worn axe, and need it as gift to woodsie friend.

No! Grem's Axe was a certified GREM BATTLE WORN vintage axe. Screen used in the GREM movie, during scene twenty-six.

However it was missing the GREM certificate of GREMticity.

Kakroon 2026/10/21(Wed)22:50 No. 1133295 ID: 681cb5
File 179262301147.png - (150.58KB , 1000x1000 , 34.png )

GREM: “Grem think maiden very pretty.”
Maiden of the Puddle: “Why thank thee, sir knight, but-”
GREM: “Grem not Knight! Grem is just Grem. But soon Grem be mighty wizard Grem!”
Maiden of the Puddle: “…and did Grem drop this golden axe?”
GREM: “No. Grem dropped old worn axe.”
Maiden of the Puddle: “Oh? And not this-”
GREM: “Needs it to gift to woodsie friend.”
Maiden of the Puddle: “I see-”
GREM: “Woodise friend lives in woods.”
Maiden of the Puddle: “So you didn’t-”
GREM: “It be certified Grem Battle Worn vintage axe!”
Maiden of the Puddle: “…wha-”
GREM: “Seen used in the Grem movie during big fight with fake Grem.”
Maiden of the Puddle: “…”
GREM: “Grem think maiden is very pretty.”
Maiden of the Puddle: “You already-”
GREM: “Can pretty lady teach Grem how to be a cool and powerful lizard like pretty lady is?”
Maiden of the Puddle: “No, I’m just here t-”
GREM: “Is maiden single?”
Maiden of the Puddle: “Wha-”
GREM: “Or is there multiple maidens?”
Maiden of the Puddle: “…eh!?”
GREM: “You are very pretty, maiden person.”
Maiden of the Puddle: *sigh*
GREM: “Maybe pretty maiden teach Grem magic?”
Maiden of the Puddle: “Listen, I’m just here for the axe-”
GREM: “Maiden must be very strong! Axe made of pure shiny very heavy yes?”
Maiden of the Puddle: “Ehh…”
GREM: “Is Maiden wizard? Maybe Maiden teaches Grem wizarding?”
Maiden of the Puddle: “I already told y-”
GREM: “Do maiden like Mermans?”
Maiden of the Puddle: “…why wo-”
GREM: “Grem think merman and maiden alike. Both big and underwater!”
Maiden of the Puddle: “How does that-”
GREM: “Maybe pretty maiden can teach merman magic so merman can teach Grem magic!”
Maiden of the Puddle: “Ugh. Kobolds.”

Kakroon 2026/10/21(Wed)22:50 No. 1133296 ID: 681cb5
File 179262302086.png - (109.56KB , 1000x1000 , 35.png )

Maiden of the Puddle: “Enough of your constant blabbering, you fool! Here, just take the axes or whatever. I got this lizard folk who dropped a spear in a swamp to visit.”

She throws both the axes on the ground, with the old broken axe landing with a dull tok while the golden axe smashing into the ground hard enough to bury the blade a fair bit into the ground.

Maiden of the Puddle: “And I’m out! Peace.”
GREM: “Bye pretty lady!”
Maiden of the Puddle: “…by the goddess I hate Kobolds…”
GREM: “… … …Grem think pretty maiden was nice lass.”

Kakroon 2026/10/21(Wed)22:50 No. 1133297 ID: 681cb5
File 179262303072.png - (80.56KB , 1000x1000 , 36.png )

Grem grabs old axe. Grem got old axe again!

Grem grabs golden axe! …golden axe refuses to go into Grem pocket! Golden axe too heavy for Grem. Grem not even able to move Golden axe! Maybe if Grem was dwarf or big man or lady Grem could complete the Golden axe challenge. But Grem only Kobold.

Still, Grem wants shiny axe…

Current Grem pocket stuff:
Old Axe
Gold Axe…ish. (To heavy)
Rock friend
lint
Pain and a black eye


Current Gremjectives:
GET SHINY AXE INTO POCKET!
Give new axe to tree man for staff
Find gift for Merman girlfriend for orb
Find a mighty wizard hat.

>>1133297
Smash golden axe with rock until the head comes off. The two pieces are lighter! Then you can pick each one up and carry them.

Gold Axe is now our Sekret Stash For Later. Bury it so no one can find it, we will definitely remember where we left it, and come back for it later when we have MIGHTY MAGIC to lift it.

Then go deliver the worn axe to the axe man.

cover axe in leaves and stuff
Like a clever fox would!
then you come back for it later after you forget where it is

Dig around axe blade to free axe from ground.

Then, cover axe with leaves and dirt to hide it from Gnolls and others whp would steal axe.

Leave rock friend nearby to guard shiny axe for good measure (and help remembee where you hid it).

Then, bring old axe to woodsie friend.

You are not strong, but Merman is, and shiny expwnaive things can impress ladies! Bring Merman over to collect it and finish his quest!

>>1133303
*Expensive

>>1133303
Oooh! Merman could help!