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File 173805726626.png - (35.05KB , 536x534 , 5.png )
1102987 No. 1102987 ID: 4591f8

FIRST NAME, MIDDLE INITIAL, LAST NAME: Poppy East HOME ADDRESS: 69420, Petunia Lane CITY: Eastbone NSFW?: y[X] n[ ]
57 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 1103386 ID: 010d92

First: Chill, why are you spiraling about a creature that A: isn't trying to harm you and B: you could dissasemble with your bare hands? do you sense Doom from somewhere?
Second: let's try to think this through: There is Unidentified Fucking Thing in your Soulspace. I would imagine that trying to keep something hostile, or entering whilest hostile, to be impossible, or close to it. Maybe this Thing doesn't much care for that: there is both the possibility that it can no more effect you than you it, so is "here" more in parallel to you, or it is a soul-related creature, and you need necromantic magics in order to interact.
That or you made it on accident and so it is, according to magic, able to be here, what magicks have you done recently, was the magic that messed with electromagnatism the kind that have side effects?
>>1103384
WELL, THANK GOD FOR NECROMANCY
>>
No. 1103387 ID: 90b21b

C) I wonder if you can list this entity as a dependent.
>>
No. 1103396 ID: 6c233e

D) Yeet the interloper from your inventory, grab the document you came here for, and get somewhere more solid. Like your warm bed.
>>
No. 1103399 ID: 6b8094

Bee-lete it!
>>
No. 1103406 ID: 4591f8
File 173891110708.png - (12.44KB , 526x534 , 28.png )
1103406

...
>>
No. 1103407 ID: 4591f8
File 173891111237.png - (11.83KB , 526x534 , 29.png )
1103407

Ok, calm down. You're getting all riled up over seeing a little pale shithead. Maybe it's just getting late. Maybe the stress of your taxes being late is getting to you. You should probably just get the thing done.

> "Hey, little guy. I'm just here to do my taxes. No biggie."
▒▎▋▒▓█▂▄: ▓▇▄ ▁▄▄ ▖█▋▋ ▃█▄
Still no reply. Whatever.
>>
No. 1103408 ID: 4591f8
File 173891112231.png - (13.52KB , 526x534 , 30.png )
1103408

You daintily remove the thing from the premises, just in case.
>>
No. 1103409 ID: 4591f8
File 173891112622.png - (5.94KB , 526x534 , 31.png )
1103409

You use your keys to open your file cabinet.
>>
No. 1103410 ID: 4591f8
File 173891113672.png - (17.54KB , 526x534 , 32.png )
1103410

You use your keys to open your file cabinet.

Whoops! Wrong drawer. That's just some vials of bee pheromones you got off the Shadow Market. No use outside sexy times. You cover your antennae. You remember one of them makes you smell dead to bees. You'll never forget the time Lune tried that last week. You cried the whole day. You really did think she died. Maybe you're still mustering yourself in the aftershock of that.
>>
No. 1103411 ID: 4591f8
File 173891114398.png - (11.32KB , 526x534 , 33.png )
1103411

Rummaging... rummaging... A-ha! Here!
>>
No. 1103412 ID: 4591f8
File 173891114846.png - (17.03KB , 526x534 , 34.png )
1103412

SSN ACQUIRED. FIELD COMPLETE (29/32). 3 REMAIN.
Confetti! Hooray! That wasn't so hard, was it? Less than ten minutes have passed since Lune came home; that's how quick it was.
>>
No. 1103413 ID: 4591f8
File 173891115263.png - (16.26KB , 526x534 , 35.png )
1103413

You now have 3 more fields left to fill:
* Spouse SSN. Unknown location, definitely not where it's supposed to be. Just to be sure you didn't accidentally put it with your stuff, you cast a supplementary [MAGNACURIA: DOWSING].
* 12, your E-6 form. You just need to get it from your dungeon exploring associate. It's not that far of a flight.
* 17. That damned unknown variable. You have to meet with Jackson to figure out what to do.

From here, you have a few options:
A)
>>
No. 1103414 ID: 4591f8
File 173891115678.png - (2.09KB , 526x534 , 36.png )
1103414

.
>>
No. 1103415 ID: 4591f8
File 173891118520.png - (8.44KB , 526x534 , 37.png )
1103415

Somewhere else, a portal snaps shut.

Somewhere else, papers rustle only slightly from the closing of a passage.

Somewhere else, a home mutely slumbers in ignorance.
>>
No. 1103416 ID: 4591f8
File 173891118806.png - (9.11KB , 526x534 , 38.png )
1103416

One moment, you're in your Inventory, holding your documents. The next, you are somewhere unfamiliar. The only feature is a thick stygian fog.

A) Explore
B) Wait
C) Cry
D) Analyze
>>
No. 1103417 ID: 6b8094

Analyze. You seem to be lying down on something.
>>
No. 1103418 ID: 6c233e

D) Somewhere you've been before?
>>
No. 1103419 ID: 273c18

>>1103407
"solstice: the bee will die"
I guess its name was Solstice.

>>1103416
You should've anchored the bookcase to the wall! Or used a lighter set of shelves, like plastic or something.

Anyway.

A.
>>
No. 1103420 ID: 010d92

wow you died fucking instantly
D: Did the door close with you still inside? did It close it? is this what happens when you get trapped inside yourself?
...Did one of the Pheromones knock you out?

Well, one way or another, you are definitely going to cry about the verything that managed to happen in the last hour
>>
No. 1103421 ID: 59787f

Stop laying in the fog like a French girl, analyse what the vapor that makes up this fog is!
>>
No. 1103422 ID: 2ca689

oh, you know where this is. C about it
>>
No. 1103429 ID: 8d29d7

Goddamit we are supposed to do our taxes not to GET SENT TO SUPERHELL (is this normal to witches?)
>>
No. 1103430 ID: 4c750c

I’m gonna go with B on this one. We just chill for a bit. Maybe take in our surroundings for a bit of D? Mostly chill though
>>
No. 1103436 ID: 90b21b

Wake up now or you die for real
>>
No. 1103461 ID: d58817

C

We were just starting to make progress. This is too much. Everything keeps happening all at once.
>>
No. 1103462 ID: 4591f8
File 173901188708.png - (11.82KB , 526x534 , 39.png )
1103462

You feel at the ground. It's cold, and dusty. You're not a geologist, so you can't be completely sure what the gravel is made of, but it's light and coarse like pumice. You don't think you're under the effects of the pheromones; they've never induced hallucinations in your experience, though you can't be sure.
>>
No. 1103463 ID: 4591f8
File 173901189097.png - (10.42KB , 526x534 , 40.png )
1103463

[MAGNACURIA: ANALYZE] -> FAILED

None of your spells are working. In fact, the fabric of magic here seems to be absolutely stagnant. You haven't felt this mundane since before you learned magic.
>>
No. 1103464 ID: 4591f8
File 173901189822.png - (6.58KB , 526x534 , 41.png )
1103464

You feel lost. You feel lonely. You wonder if you had just seen the last of Lune.

You've died before, once, in a safe environment, but that stuff requires a lot of set up to create a proverbial "save point," so that Kay could revive you without needing to recover your body. You hear tales of other witches who find thrill in mortal odds, but that's simply not your thing. In fact, it was such an unpleasant experience for you, you never killed a monster or enemy since.

You don't recall any sort of transitional period like this.

After you died the first time, Kay extended her studies on necromantic arts, just for you, and helped you through signing a bunch of pacts, the sum of which should allow you to be resurrected without consequence if your body is found.

Alas.

Your soul wanders the fog, hoping you'll find something. The world here is featureless and monotonous. The whole of you wishes that this is some hallucination or some limited in-between realm. You hold this hope close to your heart as you fly around.
>>
No. 1103465 ID: 4591f8
File 173901190706.png - (11.15KB , 526x534 , 42.png )
1103465

After nearly an hour of cainite meandering, you hear a deep, raspy, androgynous voice.

???: MISSUS EAST. I HADN'T EXPECTED TO SEE YOU SO SOON.
> "...Death?"
???: A RELATIVE.
>>
No. 1103466 ID: 4591f8
File 173901192231.png - (15.98KB , 526x534 , 43.png )
1103466

The figure steps through the foggy veil.

TAXES.
TAXES: APOLOGIES FOR THE WAIT.

A few thoughts run through your mind. You could choose a few to act on, consider the order, or suggest something else:
A) "What was that thing in my Inventory?"
B) "Where is this? Are you real?"
C) "What happened? Am I dead?"
D) "I'm not done with my form. Surely you could help me with 17."
>>
No. 1103467 ID: 59787f

Ask him for help with entry 17, something tells me he might know a thing or two about taxes
>>
No. 1103468 ID: 273c18

>>1103466
D. Also A.
>>
No. 1103469 ID: 90b21b

A) "Because I think it murdered me. Can you move my corpse so I can be resurrected by my wife? I can't finish the taxes if I'm permanently dead."
>>
No. 1103482 ID: 2ca689

D
>>
No. 1103484 ID: 12398e

C, A, D, preferably in that order. B is silly to ask. Real is relative. Though, asking where this is is actually a good question thinking about it.
>>
No. 1103488 ID: 6c233e

>>1103469
This. But also D
>>
No. 1103494 ID: a5a9f7

D: Sinse you have somehow managed it, you might as well ask the inevitability of life how the Taxes gets done
But Also A: what even was that glitch creature
>>
No. 1103497 ID: a5a9f7

...Is this why the BONE FACTION has grueling taxes? The name already implicates a connection to Death so it makes sense their relative is here too
>>
No. 1103518 ID: d58817

D

No one would know better.
>>
No. 1103526 ID: 4591f8
File 173909772988.png - (9.25KB , 532x520 , 44.png )
1103526

TAXES: YOU HAVE DIED, MISSUS EAST. I WILL BE HANDLING YOUR CHECKPOINT TO THE AFTERLIFE. ACCORDING TO YOUR DEATH CERTIFICATE, YOU WERE "CRUSHED BY [YOUR] OWN BOOKCASE." USUAL ENOUGH. HOWEVER, YOUR LOCATION IS LISTED AS "POPPY." ISN'T THAT STRANGE?

That already answers one question you had. It's hard to find your name being your location of death as funny as it should be given the circumstance. You straighten your back as you engage in conversation with Taxes itself.

> "Taxes, may I ask a few questions first?"
TAXES: ?
>>
No. 1103527 ID: 4591f8
File 173909773412.png - (12.14KB , 532x520 , 45.png )
1103527

1. Field number 17

> "What was field 17 on the tax return form? It was blank when I had it."
TAXES: DOES THIS MATTER? YOU ARE DEAD.
> "Well, I'd like to know, now that I'm here."
TAXES: IT SEEMS ABSURD OF ME TO LEAVE A FORMAL CRITEREON DEVOID OF DIRECTION.
Taxes manifests the tax form and scans it eyelessly. It cocks its head.
TAXES: THIS DOES SEEM TO BE THE CASE. I BELIEVE THIS TO BE THE ONTOLOGICAL TAMPERING OF SOME EXTERNAL FORCE. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW. I WILL HAVE THIS RECTIFIED.
> "Thank you. Rectified? How?"
TAXES: BY SUNRISE I WILL UPDATE THE FORM.
> "Would this effect the form I already have filled?"
TAXES: NAY. THAT WOULD BE TAINTED BY YOUR HAND, WERE IT NOT ALREADY LOST. THE UNTOUCHED PAGES WOULD BE ALTERED UNANIMOUSLY.

If the god of Taxes didn't know, there is no way in Bone Hell that you would find out on your own. Even though it did not tell you, you feel as though you just made immense progress on the matter.
>>
No. 1103528 ID: 4591f8
File 173909773730.png - (9.55KB , 532x520 , 46.png )
1103528

2. What was that thing?

> "When I-- hold on, can we get chairs, please?"

Two pillars of stone rise from the ground.

> "Thank you. When I opened my Inventory dimension, there was a strange creature. It was made of simple rigid geometric shapes. It resisted all of my identification magic as if I wasn't doing a thing."
TAXES: I PRESUME IT IS THE NATURAL DISLOYALTY OF THE MORTAL SENSES.
> "You're saying I made it up?"
TAXES: I SAY TELL YOUR PITEOUS HEART THERE'S NO HARM DONE.

You can tell that it's withholding information. You could press harder but you want to get your other questions in. You have priorities. Most importantly...
>>
No. 1103529 ID: 4591f8
File 173909774265.png - (10.63KB , 532x520 , 47.png )
1103529

3. Move my corpse, please.

> "Could you move my corpse out of my Inventory so that I could be resurrected? I have the Curian, Mutian and Magnan necromantic pacts. Please."
TAXES: I DO HATE TO SEE SUCH A PATHETIC DEATH UPON A TALENTED WITCH IN HER PRIME. I HOPE YOU'LL AGREE. I'M FAMILIAR WITH THESE PACTS; THIS IS MY DUTY. WITH THESE PACTS, IN YOUR STATE, I MAY BRING YOU BACK WHERE THE THRESHOLD STOOD. AS TAXES, I CAN ALSO RETURN YOUR DOCUMENTS TO YOU IN THE PARTIAL STATE THAT YOU LEFT THEM. I WILL WARN YOU, HOWEVER, THAT, ALTHOUGH YOU WILL BE SOUND AND USUAL OF LOGICAL MIND AND BODY, YOU WILL LACK A FEELING SOUL. THERE WILL BE NO PLEASURE. NO PAIN. NO HATE. NO LOVE. YOUR PRECIOUS WIFE WILL AWAKEN TO A DIFFERENT PERSON THAN THE LIVELY ONE SHE LOVED.

That's not life. That's a special hell. That's a special terrible hell to make you as miserable as possible. That last sentence--it digs into your heart like a thousand nails. You don't want this! You don't want any of this!
>>
No. 1103530 ID: 4591f8
File 173909774593.png - (16.99KB , 532x520 , 48.png )
1103530

TAXES: MAY I ADD--YOU HAD SHOWN ME AN ERROR IN MY CREATION, AND I DOUBT YOUR UNIQUENESS IN YOUR PLIGHT. I AM WILLING TO RETURN THE FAVOR, MOVE THESE OLD BONES AND PULL SOME STRINGS FOR YOU.

You lean forward.

TAXES: I COULD... EXPAND THE DEFINITION OF LINE 2 TO ENCOMPASS YOUR EMOTIONAL SOUL, AND, THEREBY, TRANSFER YOUR VEIAN LIFEFORCE ALONGSIDE YOUR TAX FORMS, RESTORING YOU TO EMOTIONAL WHOLENESS. UNDERSTAND I CANNOT GIVE THIS GRACE TO EVERYBODY. SINCE THIS PACT IS BOUND TO YOUR TAX STATUS, THE TERMS OF THIS PACT ARE SIMPLE: YOU MUST TURN IN YOUR TAXES ON TIME.

Taxes' words fill you with waves of intermingling relief and stress. On one hand, you have been given the divine grace of Taxes to continue your life. On the other hand, its condition will make tomorrow the most important day of your entire life.

You can handle it.

You may choose multiple and their order, or suggest your own action:
A) Press for information on the Thing. (What do you ask?)
B) Press for information on "ontological tampering" (What do you ask?)
C) Thank profusely.
D) Plead for an extension.
>>
No. 1103531 ID: 273c18

>>1103530
A. Say that it wasn't a hallucination because you had a premonition of your own death after talking to it. It's like it was trying to warn you, but you couldn't hear it directly? Also, you didn't mishandle your bookcase, which means something pushed it onto you. That means something is trying to stop you from doing your taxes, something related to the thing you saw. So, ask... who could have killed you?
>>
No. 1103533 ID: 273c18

Hmm, I wonder if Poppy will hear this:
Its name was ▒▎▋▒▓█▂▄. That means "Solstice".
>>
No. 1103534 ID: 6c233e

C) but also, it sounds like we still need to fill in 17 even though it isn't supposed to be there? Can he tell us what it is, or is this task impossible from the start?
>>
No. 1103538 ID: 1d9ed0

I don’t think Taxes know what The Thing was either. If it was supposed to be there, he would have said “IT IS BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION” or something like that. “YOU IMAGINED IT” implies that this could be a serious problem.
>>
No. 1103540 ID: a5a9f7

That.. sounds like you are missing a pact entirely: if you have a pact for everything but your "Veian" lifeforce... but that's assuming it was ever possible
A/B: I don't think your getting any direct information on these... but you can ask: Why, why was The Thing there? At you? Why the Tampering? was it anything you did?
Will there be other things trying to stop you doing the taxes?
And C, thank him deeply, he had no need to do this. For the god of taxes to be bending the rules, even if in response to other rules being bent by- someone else, can't be emotionally easy, even if it literally is as the god of taxes.
>>
No. 1103556 ID: 3937ba

B

I think that if there's some supernatural entity messing with our tax forms, and our continued existence as ourself depends on filing our tax forms properly, we should know what we're up against. If the Thing is an agent of this force, then we should learn about it, in turn.

(Also C, this is a terrific boon for the spirit of Taxes to grant personally. Many of His terrestrial representatives would not be so kind.)
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