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File 173805726626.png - (35.05KB , 536x534 , 5.png )
1102987 No. 1102987 ID: 4591f8

FIRST NAME, MIDDLE INITIAL, LAST NAME: Poppy East HOME ADDRESS: 69420, Petunia Lane CITY: Eastbone NSFW?: y[X] n[ ]
7 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 1102995 ID: d58817

D

Easy things with known next steps can be put off, unless they're time-sensitive. Prioritize making the unknown known.
>>
No. 1102996 ID: 273c18

>>1102994
A!
>>
No. 1102998 ID: 4c750c

Yeah, 17 seems like the biggest hurdle here. Once we tackle that one, things should be smoother sailing maybe?
>>
No. 1103000 ID: 861ceb

C

and while you're out getting that maybe they'll let you use their internet so can use a search engine to figure out what 17 is.
>>
No. 1103001 ID: 524918

Figuring out the parts that we have no idea of what it is will smooth things out (D). Also hi we're the voices in your head. Do all witches have voices in their heads?
>>
No. 1103008 ID: 6c233e

D) will potentially take the longest time so get started now. And maybe we can do some of the others on the way.
>>
No. 1103011 ID: 0de4c8

Do you... even know who to ask about 17? maybe your Wife knows about 17?
B and D simultaniously??
>>
No. 1103015 ID: a7a180

Seekest thou number 17, lest it become a double digit of DOOM.
>>
No. 1103022 ID: 77189b

>>1102987
its not safe to do your taxes at work because of all the private information involved
>>
No. 1103034 ID: 4591f8
File 173814553271.png - (15.39KB , 558x437 , 9.png )
1103034

Using your WITCH INTUITION (Intuwitchion), you decide that it's probably the ideal option to secure the task that is 17.
Unfortunately, you don't have any good leads because the internet is fucked. Phone lines are also fucked. You know for sure that 17 is something that the library would know.
It's pretty late to go to the library, which is where you're supposed to go if you don't know this stuff. Your other housemates are sleeping right now, and they probably wouldn't know the answer because you don't think they even make enough money to pay taxes. Hence why they sleep on your floor. The reason why you're even up late right now is because this form is due in two days. You'd rather not pay the penalty, but if you have to, it's not the end of your world.
By the way, this form is due in two days.
>>
No. 1103035 ID: 4591f8
File 173814553468.png - (8.20KB , 396x370 , 10.png )
1103035

Conveniently, you know the librarian, JACKSON. He happens to be tethered to a demon--a demon whose summoning ritual you know. He's alright, but he seems like more of a "fun n' games" demon guy than a "taxes n' paperwork" demon guy, which is funny because he's the exact opposite on-the-job.
It's a long story, but the point is that you could summon Jackson here (it won't take long) and he would for-sure have the answer, then if 17's really that much of a hassle you can spend tomorrow on it. If not, you could meet him at the library in the morning. Either way, he seems like your best bet.

Your options are:
A) Summon Jackson now.
B) See Jackson in the morning.
>>
No. 1103036 ID: a7a180

See him in the morning. Either figure out your partner’s SSN or get some rest for now.
>>
No. 1103037 ID: 273c18

B. Surely it can't take more than two days?
>>
No. 1103038 ID: 0de4c8

B if Demons happen to sleep.
Either way you have your own SSN which you can do like, right now, dunno if you can do it while doing the ritual hell if I know long it takes
AND in all cases, the E-6 has to be done tomorrow, I would guess
>>
No. 1103042 ID: 861ceb

B

just set an alarm so you don't sleep in. Also since you said that he's not very serious while off the job would he actually be likely to help you if you did summon him or more likely just mess around and waste more time?
>>
No. 1103047 ID: 63709c

B) treat this as non-urgent so the fates don't bring you bad luck tomorrow. It's reverse psychology see?
>>
No. 1103101 ID: 4591f8
File 173831057777.png - (10.35KB , 590x560 , 11.png )
1103101

Yeah, it's probably a better idea to get help from Jackson in the morning. Plus, there's no telling what kind of chicanery he'd be up to once he steps foot in your house. Come to think of it, it's a good thing you thought twice. He loves to make games of everything and there is not a doubt in your mind that he would turn field 17 into some twisted objective.
It's a better time to focus on the other stuff for now.
>>
No. 1103102 ID: 4591f8
File 173831058119.png - (32.66KB , 590x560 , 12.png )
1103102

*flick* The lights come on. Who's at the door?
>>
No. 1103103 ID: 4591f8
File 173831058590.png - (172.46KB , 590x560 , 13.png )
1103103

It's LUNE, your wife! Your faces light up when you see each other. Papers fly as you launch a greeting embrace at your lover like a bolt of lightning. You exchange a shower of giggling hugs and kisses. Class was great.
[LUNE joins the party]
>>
No. 1103104 ID: 4591f8
File 173831059334.png - (171.03KB , 590x560 , 14.png )
1103104

Lune: "Thanks for doing the paperwork, by the way. I know it's probably super boring."
> "Probably not as boring as sitting in a quiet room with a bunch of nerds who are all at the end of their rope. You've got such a late class."
Lune: "It's fiiine... I am kinda sleepy right now."
> "Oh, by the way, where do you keep your SSN?"
Lune: "Yeah! it's uhh.. it's.... uhhhhhhh......"
> "C'mon... use that college brain!"
Lune fiddles her wing feathers around.
Lune: "I forgotttt.... You wouldn't suppose there's some kind of locating doodlebug magic thingy you could use to find it? Or some cool mind thing that could help me remember?"
> "Aghh...!!! You ought to keep track of that!"

It's alright, though. You do, indeed, have a spell for that. You lift one of Lune's feathers from the ground and use it as a component for the magic spell.
> Don't worry, I'll find it.
>>
No. 1103105 ID: 4591f8
File 173831059648.png - (9.52KB , 590x560 , 15.png )
1103105

[MAGNACURIA: DOWSING]
From your hand, a pale flame. You close your eyes and envision it: Lune's SSN paper slip... You allow yourself to feel a vague sense of where it is. As your stride leads the way before you, the path crosses the front door.

Outside of you and Lune's house.
>>
No. 1103106 ID: 4591f8
File 173831060065.png - (113.31KB , 590x560 , 16.png )
1103106

> "Lune, when's the last time you saw your SSN slip thing?"
She shrugs. "I dunno? Financial aid, like, a few months ago?"
> "Right, well... this might be a problem."

As if there weren't enough stressors weighing on your spine already, identity theft is now a possibility.

You have a few options:
A) Hunt for the missing slip
B) Leave this be for now; find some other documentation that has it
C) Leave this be for now; get own SSN.
D) Leave this be for now; figure this out on the way to the library tomorrow.

(Your dungeon exploring associate is most likely asleep by now.)
>>
No. 1103107 ID: a7a180

Might as well go on a late night slip hunt.
>>
No. 1103108 ID: 31f4fe

Does.. this vague sense give you any sort of distance?
trying to hunt it down at night is, unfortunatly, a deeply bad idea, especially with only vague knowledge of where it is
does thou truly have no yellow/black on your form?
C: leave for now, you can hunt it down later, and should hunt it down at all, you can do your own right now
>>
No. 1103109 ID: 31f4fe

...Hell for all you know it is still AT financial aid, would be easy to find, but still something you can sleep on and do later
Later you aboutta be a Busy Bee
>>
No. 1103113 ID: e4fa58

A for adventure!
>>
No. 1103115 ID: 273c18

>>1103106
It's proooobably at the financial aid office. Looks like tomorrow's gonna be busy.
C/D, we deal with it tomorrow so you can bring backup in case it's been stolen. It's been a few months, another 8 hours isn't gonna make things worse. Get your own SSN for now.
>>
No. 1103119 ID: 4c750c

Yeah I also think C
>>
No. 1103156 ID: 7c1f1c

A

Did you mention the form is due in two days? If you really need to hunt this number down from someone else, better get a move-on.
>>
No. 1103303 ID: 4591f8
File 173875328941.png - (11.87KB , 590x560 , 17.png )
1103303

It's dark out. A cold breeze planes and whistles against the doorframe. You're on the fence about going on an adventure or leaving this for tomorrow and getting your own SSN.
On one hand, the due date is very close. Like, within arm's reach. It's already the eleventh hour, so you have about 25 hours remaining. Tomorrow will be very busy if you don't get this done.
On the other hand, it's really dark out. Lune could have left it behind at an office or something. If you search now, you might find out it's behind closed doors, then you'd have less time to sleep, and you will have wasted a bunch of time that could have been spent during daylight.
>>
No. 1103304 ID: 4591f8
File 173875329539.png - (16.30KB , 645x526 , 18.png )
1103304

> "What do you think? Should we go look for your SSN? It's super dark outside."
Lune: Me? Umm uhhh... I'm kinda tired. Errghghhhhh... I'd rather not have one of those nights where a bunch of stuff happens. I got a full night's sleep for the first time in fuck knows last night, and I want to keep that ball rolling. So I don't go Dalecrazy.
> "Right. You know what? Get some rest; ily."
Lune: (YAWN) ily too. See you in the morning.
>>
No. 1103305 ID: 4591f8
File 173875330095.png - (12.87KB , 645x526 , 19.png )
1103305

[LUNE leaves the party]
>>
No. 1103306 ID: 4591f8
File 173875331105.png - (12.94KB , 645x526 , 20.png )
1103306

...You've been holding onto that fire for a while and it's starting to burn your hands. You put it out.

You don't really want to go on an adventure without your wife. Being the 2nd-player-flight-assist is two-thirds the fun.
>>
No. 1103307 ID: 4591f8
File 173875331457.png - (21.20KB , 526x534 , 21.png )
1103307

Right, your own SSN... if there's anything you can find tonight, it's that.

[METAVEIA: SPACEBEND]
From the ground, an etherial red blob rises, and, from its center, a plane of passage is bored through space, to your familiar secret room. Light from the house floods into the small room through the doorway. Only you can access this space.
>>
No. 1103308 ID: 4591f8
File 173875331715.png - (11.49KB , 526x534 , 22.png )
1103308

This is your Inventory. It is bound--that guy...? You'll get to that in a second.--It is bound to your soul; only you can open or close the entrance. This is a reserved pocket of space, completely separated from the primary plane. You use this to keep your secrets safe. Mostly personal documents, but you also keep some artifacts and trinkets you acquire at the Shadow Market, especially things too dangerous to keep around the house. You make sure all of your stuff is neutralized and inert before you keep it here.

Immediately, you see: that guy, which you'll get to in a second, your file cabinet where you keep your files, though you use some as drawers for smaller trinkets, a few extra large spell scrolls for extra large spells, and your bookcase of Forbidden Knowledge, where you keep such junk as the Book of Evil and Sexy Magic.
>>
No. 1103309 ID: 4591f8
File 173875332398.png - (7.34KB , 526x534 , 23.png )
1103309

Anyways, that guy. What the fuck. You don't know what that is. You've never seen that before. You do not know why it is here. It doesn't remotely resemble anything you've stowed here. All it's doing is prancing around in place. It's kinda getting closer to you, slowly and steadily?

> "H-hello?"
No answer. ▒▇▄ ▁▄▄ ▕█▋▋ ▃█▄

In total honesty: you don't want this here. Besides your sensitive information, there's a lot of potentially volatile stuff locked up in here.

You have a few initial options:
A) [VEIACURIA: GLEAM]--Identify with magic
C) Ignore it; continue with business.
B) [METACURIA: TELEPATHY]--Read mind with magic
D) [METAMAGNA: BULLET] Kill it.
>>
No. 1103311 ID: e4fa58

A) learn a thing
Or
E) let it out of the pocket domain and than yeet it into your neighbor’s yard like an unwanted dog turd
>>
No. 1103314 ID: 273c18

>>1103309
B. It's trying to communicate, so that should allow communication. You also won't have to cast identify when you can just ask it what it is.
>>
No. 1103325 ID: 90b21b

Wait, what happens to your inventory if you die?

E) Write a letter stating that the entity is trespassing but you're willing to work something out if it wants to work as your personal blue-collar worker.
>>
No. 1103326 ID: b4ed20

B) Waddayawant?
>>
No. 1103333 ID: 010d92

Some sorta abstract space critter? pocket dimensions have the weirdest problems
well, Actual Murder seems a bit... Intense for this.
I am going the guess the static was an attempt at communication, So B: Mind Read
>>
No. 1103335 ID: 4c750c

Agree, mind read. He’s just a little guy! No need for murder!
>>
No. 1103336 ID: 6b8094

UNIDENTIFIED FUCKING THING
KILL IT NOW
>>
No. 1103368 ID: 012630

A

Diplomacy is first on the list. B is a potential tool, but it's probably nest not to open your mind to a stranger with powers you didn't think were possible.
>>
No. 1103377 ID: 4591f8
File 173885331960.png - (6.83KB , 526x534 , 24.png )
1103377

You make an attempt to communicate towards the abstract space critter.

[METACURIA: TELEPATHY]
▐▔█▂▊▋▘, ▀▒▇▘ ▁▄▄.
You use the spell, but something strange happens.
▘▎▔░ ▏░█▙▄▃ ▒▀▋▕█▅█▂ ▓▀▗▄▒.
The spell is behaving as if there is nothing there at all. Not even a wall.
▁▄ ▖▀░▘ ▓▇▄ ▉▔▃▆▄▌▄▍▓.
It's like a swing and a miss. It's like smoke and mirrors. It's like a magical sink.
Occam's razor; the most plausible explanation is that whatever this is absorbs any immaterial magic you throw at it. It's clicking and clacking on the ground, so material magic would probably do something against it. Or you could grab it and throw it outside. Y'know, you've got business to do and the thought crosses your mind.
▓▇▄ ▁▄▄ ▖█▋▋ ▃█▄
>>
No. 1103378 ID: 4591f8
File 173885332493.png - (7.60KB , 526x534 , 25.png )
1103378

[VEIACURIA: GLEAM]
▒▎▋▒▓█▂▄: █ ▂▎▌▌▀▍▃ ▓▇▄ ▕▎█▃ ▓▎ ▆█▕▄ ▌▄ ▂▋▀░█▓▘[(00000EXPRESSION.CURIOSITY,-1),(-1,-1)][(0,-1),(1,0)]
When you cast the spell to identify it, you at least got some feedback? You can't explain it, but you get a light impression that it doesn't mean harm. Probably. What you got is barely above your absolute threshold of magical sensation.

You try to recall who would know about something like this. Besides Jackson, Kay comes to mind. She is the one who is most likely to know about this sort of thing. Part of the requirement of her profession is knowing the beastiary cover-to-cover. Kay's bookshelves are lined with thoroughly-read monster encyclopedias, alongside other... monster... literature--but you digress. She's certainly asleep by now. She is a very well-put-together individual and not the kind to forgive waking her up for something like this.
>>
No. 1103379 ID: 4591f8
File 173885332874.png - (9.63KB , 526x534 , 26.png )
1103379

In this uncertain situation, you wonder something you've never thought of before: what happens if you die inside of your pocket dimension? Normally, someone could cast a complex necromancy spell to bring you back. That's part of how dungeon crawling works. Practicing self-necromancy safely is part of the code, but you have a number of additional pacts that would make that trivial (and could save you in a pinch, should something go very very very wrong, even outside of a dungeon). If you Inventory's entrance is tied to your soul, then if you died here, you would disappear forever, and nobody will ever find the body.
>>
No. 1103380 ID: 4591f8
File 173885333096.png - (23.21KB , 526x534 , 27.png )
1103380

Your friends would be heartbroken. "Where did Poppy go?" "Last I saw her, she was doing her taxes!" "It must have been something else. Poppy's strong! She wouldn't die doing something banal like TAXES." You'd be MIA for weeks. Your disappearance would be an enigma. Lune would be inconsolable. Kay would fund the funeral. Jackson would say something insensitive about the situation and be banished from the group for a few weeks.

Options:
A) Rationalize.
B) Keep spiraling.
C) Chill tf out.
D) Neutralize the threat.
>>
No. 1103384 ID: 273c18

>>1103380
A: It's not doing anything, so it's probably not a threat. Quickly get what you came for, ashy bee, then get out of the pocket dimension.

Translation!

she bee vill die (I think it's using a different alphabet for the previous update)

quickly, ashy bee.
your prized salvific taxes
be wary the judgement
the bee will die

solstice: i command the void to give me clarity

>>
No. 1103385 ID: 273c18

(I did use quipqiup but it was a monoalphabetic cipher anyway, not too hard to solve)
>>
No. 1103386 ID: 010d92

First: Chill, why are you spiraling about a creature that A: isn't trying to harm you and B: you could dissasemble with your bare hands? do you sense Doom from somewhere?
Second: let's try to think this through: There is Unidentified Fucking Thing in your Soulspace. I would imagine that trying to keep something hostile, or entering whilest hostile, to be impossible, or close to it. Maybe this Thing doesn't much care for that: there is both the possibility that it can no more effect you than you it, so is "here" more in parallel to you, or it is a soul-related creature, and you need necromantic magics in order to interact.
That or you made it on accident and so it is, according to magic, able to be here, what magicks have you done recently, was the magic that messed with electromagnatism the kind that have side effects?
>>1103384
WELL, THANK GOD FOR NECROMANCY
>>
No. 1103387 ID: 90b21b

C) I wonder if you can list this entity as a dependent.
>>
No. 1103396 ID: 6c233e

D) Yeet the interloper from your inventory, grab the document you came here for, and get somewhere more solid. Like your warm bed.
>>
No. 1103399 ID: 6b8094

Bee-lete it!
>>
No. 1103406 ID: 4591f8
File 173891110708.png - (12.44KB , 526x534 , 28.png )
1103406

...
>>
No. 1103407 ID: 4591f8
File 173891111237.png - (11.83KB , 526x534 , 29.png )
1103407

Ok, calm down. You're getting all riled up over seeing a little pale shithead. Maybe it's just getting late. Maybe the stress of your taxes being late is getting to you. You should probably just get the thing done.

> "Hey, little guy. I'm just here to do my taxes. No biggie."
▒▎▋▒▓█▂▄: ▓▇▄ ▁▄▄ ▖█▋▋ ▃█▄
Still no reply. Whatever.
>>
No. 1103408 ID: 4591f8
File 173891112231.png - (13.52KB , 526x534 , 30.png )
1103408

You daintily remove the thing from the premises, just in case.
>>
No. 1103409 ID: 4591f8
File 173891112622.png - (5.94KB , 526x534 , 31.png )
1103409

You use your keys to open your file cabinet.
>>
No. 1103410 ID: 4591f8
File 173891113672.png - (17.54KB , 526x534 , 32.png )
1103410

You use your keys to open your file cabinet.

Whoops! Wrong drawer. That's just some vials of bee pheromones you got off the Shadow Market. No use outside sexy times. You cover your antennae. You remember one of them makes you smell dead to bees. You'll never forget the time Lune tried that last week. You cried the whole day. You really did think she died. Maybe you're still mustering yourself in the aftershock of that.
>>
No. 1103411 ID: 4591f8
File 173891114398.png - (11.32KB , 526x534 , 33.png )
1103411

Rummaging... rummaging... A-ha! Here!
>>
No. 1103412 ID: 4591f8
File 173891114846.png - (17.03KB , 526x534 , 34.png )
1103412

SSN ACQUIRED. FIELD COMPLETE (29/32). 3 REMAIN.
Confetti! Hooray! That wasn't so hard, was it? Less than ten minutes have passed since Lune came home; that's how quick it was.
>>
No. 1103413 ID: 4591f8
File 173891115263.png - (16.26KB , 526x534 , 35.png )
1103413

You now have 3 more fields left to fill:
* Spouse SSN. Unknown location, definitely not where it's supposed to be. Just to be sure you didn't accidentally put it with your stuff, you cast a supplementary [MAGNACURIA: DOWSING].
* 12, your E-6 form. You just need to get it from your dungeon exploring associate. It's not that far of a flight.
* 17. That damned unknown variable. You have to meet with Jackson to figure out what to do.

From here, you have a few options:
A)
>>
No. 1103414 ID: 4591f8
File 173891115678.png - (2.09KB , 526x534 , 36.png )
1103414

.
>>
No. 1103415 ID: 4591f8
File 173891118520.png - (8.44KB , 526x534 , 37.png )
1103415

Somewhere else, a portal snaps shut.

Somewhere else, papers rustle only slightly from the closing of a passage.

Somewhere else, a home mutely slumbers in ignorance.
>>
No. 1103416 ID: 4591f8
File 173891118806.png - (9.11KB , 526x534 , 38.png )
1103416

One moment, you're in your Inventory, holding your documents. The next, you are somewhere unfamiliar. The only feature is a thick stygian fog.

A) Explore
B) Wait
C) Cry
D) Analyze
>>
No. 1103417 ID: 6b8094

Analyze. You seem to be lying down on something.
>>
No. 1103418 ID: 6c233e

D) Somewhere you've been before?
>>
No. 1103419 ID: 273c18

>>1103407
"solstice: the bee will die"
I guess its name was Solstice.

>>1103416
You should've anchored the bookcase to the wall! Or used a lighter set of shelves, like plastic or something.

Anyway.

A.
>>
No. 1103420 ID: 010d92

wow you died fucking instantly
D: Did the door close with you still inside? did It close it? is this what happens when you get trapped inside yourself?
...Did one of the Pheromones knock you out?

Well, one way or another, you are definitely going to cry about the verything that managed to happen in the last hour
>>
No. 1103421 ID: 59787f

Stop laying in the fog like a French girl, analyse what the vapor that makes up this fog is!
>>
No. 1103422 ID: 2ca689

oh, you know where this is. C about it
>>
No. 1103429 ID: 8d29d7

Goddamit we are supposed to do our taxes not to GET SENT TO SUPERHELL (is this normal to witches?)
>>
No. 1103430 ID: 4c750c

I’m gonna go with B on this one. We just chill for a bit. Maybe take in our surroundings for a bit of D? Mostly chill though
>>
No. 1103436 ID: 90b21b

Wake up now or you die for real
>>
No. 1103461 ID: d58817

C

We were just starting to make progress. This is too much. Everything keeps happening all at once.
>>
No. 1103462 ID: 4591f8
File 173901188708.png - (11.82KB , 526x534 , 39.png )
1103462

You feel at the ground. It's cold, and dusty. You're not a geologist, so you can't be completely sure what the gravel is made of, but it's light and coarse like pumice. You don't think you're under the effects of the pheromones; they've never induced hallucinations in your experience, though you can't be sure.
>>
No. 1103463 ID: 4591f8
File 173901189097.png - (10.42KB , 526x534 , 40.png )
1103463

[MAGNACURIA: ANALYZE] -> FAILED

None of your spells are working. In fact, the fabric of magic here seems to be absolutely stagnant. You haven't felt this mundane since before you learned magic.
>>
No. 1103464 ID: 4591f8
File 173901189822.png - (6.58KB , 526x534 , 41.png )
1103464

You feel lost. You feel lonely. You wonder if you had just seen the last of Lune.

You've died before, once, in a safe environment, but that stuff requires a lot of set up to create a proverbial "save point," so that Kay could revive you without needing to recover your body. You hear tales of other witches who find thrill in mortal odds, but that's simply not your thing. In fact, it was such an unpleasant experience for you, you never killed a monster or enemy since.

You don't recall any sort of transitional period like this.

After you died the first time, Kay extended her studies on necromantic arts, just for you, and helped you through signing a bunch of pacts, the sum of which should allow you to be resurrected without consequence if your body is found.

Alas.

Your soul wanders the fog, hoping you'll find something. The world here is featureless and monotonous. The whole of you wishes that this is some hallucination or some limited in-between realm. You hold this hope close to your heart as you fly around.
>>
No. 1103465 ID: 4591f8
File 173901190706.png - (11.15KB , 526x534 , 42.png )
1103465

After nearly an hour of cainite meandering, you hear a deep, raspy, androgynous voice.

???: MISSUS EAST. I HADN'T EXPECTED TO SEE YOU SO SOON.
> "...Death?"
???: A RELATIVE.
>>
No. 1103466 ID: 4591f8
File 173901192231.png - (15.98KB , 526x534 , 43.png )
1103466

The figure steps through the foggy veil.

TAXES.
TAXES: APOLOGIES FOR THE WAIT.

A few thoughts run through your mind. You could choose a few to act on, consider the order, or suggest something else:
A) "What was that thing in my Inventory?"
B) "Where is this? Are you real?"
C) "What happened? Am I dead?"
D) "I'm not done with my form. Surely you could help me with 17."
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No. 1103467 ID: 59787f

Ask him for help with entry 17, something tells me he might know a thing or two about taxes
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No. 1103468 ID: 273c18

>>1103466
D. Also A.
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No. 1103469 ID: 90b21b

A) "Because I think it murdered me. Can you move my corpse so I can be resurrected by my wife? I can't finish the taxes if I'm permanently dead."
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No. 1103482 ID: 2ca689

D
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No. 1103484 ID: 12398e

C, A, D, preferably in that order. B is silly to ask. Real is relative. Though, asking where this is is actually a good question thinking about it.
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No. 1103488 ID: 6c233e

>>1103469
This. But also D
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No. 1103494 ID: a5a9f7

D: Sinse you have somehow managed it, you might as well ask the inevitability of life how the Taxes gets done
But Also A: what even was that glitch creature
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No. 1103497 ID: a5a9f7

...Is this why the BONE FACTION has grueling taxes? The name already implicates a connection to Death so it makes sense their relative is here too
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No. 1103518 ID: d58817

D

No one would know better.
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No. 1103526 ID: 4591f8
File 173909772988.png - (9.25KB , 532x520 , 44.png )
1103526

TAXES: YOU HAVE DIED, MISSUS EAST. I WILL BE HANDLING YOUR CHECKPOINT TO THE AFTERLIFE. ACCORDING TO YOUR DEATH CERTIFICATE, YOU WERE "CRUSHED BY [YOUR] OWN BOOKCASE." USUAL ENOUGH. HOWEVER, YOUR LOCATION IS LISTED AS "POPPY." ISN'T THAT STRANGE?

That already answers one question you had. It's hard to find your name being your location of death as funny as it should be given the circumstance. You straighten your back as you engage in conversation with Taxes itself.

> "Taxes, may I ask a few questions first?"
TAXES: ?
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No. 1103527 ID: 4591f8
File 173909773412.png - (12.14KB , 532x520 , 45.png )
1103527

1. Field number 17

> "What was field 17 on the tax return form? It was blank when I had it."
TAXES: DOES THIS MATTER? YOU ARE DEAD.
> "Well, I'd like to know, now that I'm here."
TAXES: IT SEEMS ABSURD OF ME TO LEAVE A FORMAL CRITEREON DEVOID OF DIRECTION.
Taxes manifests the tax form and scans it eyelessly. It cocks its head.
TAXES: THIS DOES SEEM TO BE THE CASE. I BELIEVE THIS TO BE THE ONTOLOGICAL TAMPERING OF SOME EXTERNAL FORCE. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW. I WILL HAVE THIS RECTIFIED.
> "Thank you. Rectified? How?"
TAXES: BY SUNRISE I WILL UPDATE THE FORM.
> "Would this effect the form I already have filled?"
TAXES: NAY. THAT WOULD BE TAINTED BY YOUR HAND, WERE IT NOT ALREADY LOST. THE UNTOUCHED PAGES WOULD BE ALTERED UNANIMOUSLY.

If the god of Taxes didn't know, there is no way in Bone Hell that you would find out on your own. Even though it did not tell you, you feel as though you just made immense progress on the matter.
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No. 1103528 ID: 4591f8
File 173909773730.png - (9.55KB , 532x520 , 46.png )
1103528

2. What was that thing?

> "When I-- hold on, can we get chairs, please?"

Two pillars of stone rise from the ground.

> "Thank you. When I opened my Inventory dimension, there was a strange creature. It was made of simple rigid geometric shapes. It resisted all of my identification magic as if I wasn't doing a thing."
TAXES: I PRESUME IT IS THE NATURAL DISLOYALTY OF THE MORTAL SENSES.
> "You're saying I made it up?"
TAXES: I SAY TELL YOUR PITEOUS HEART THERE'S NO HARM DONE.

You can tell that it's withholding information. You could press harder but you want to get your other questions in. You have priorities. Most importantly...
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No. 1103529 ID: 4591f8
File 173909774265.png - (10.63KB , 532x520 , 47.png )
1103529

3. Move my corpse, please.

> "Could you move my corpse out of my Inventory so that I could be resurrected? I have the Curian, Mutian and Magnan necromantic pacts. Please."
TAXES: I DO HATE TO SEE SUCH A PATHETIC DEATH UPON A TALENTED WITCH IN HER PRIME. I HOPE YOU'LL AGREE. I'M FAMILIAR WITH THESE PACTS; THIS IS MY DUTY. WITH THESE PACTS, IN YOUR STATE, I MAY BRING YOU BACK WHERE THE THRESHOLD STOOD. AS TAXES, I CAN ALSO RETURN YOUR DOCUMENTS TO YOU IN THE PARTIAL STATE THAT YOU LEFT THEM. I WILL WARN YOU, HOWEVER, THAT, ALTHOUGH YOU WILL BE SOUND AND USUAL OF LOGICAL MIND AND BODY, YOU WILL LACK A FEELING SOUL. THERE WILL BE NO PLEASURE. NO PAIN. NO HATE. NO LOVE. YOUR PRECIOUS WIFE WILL AWAKEN TO A DIFFERENT PERSON THAN THE LIVELY ONE SHE LOVED.

That's not life. That's a special hell. That's a special terrible hell to make you as miserable as possible. That last sentence--it digs into your heart like a thousand nails. You don't want this! You don't want any of this!
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No. 1103530 ID: 4591f8
File 173909774593.png - (16.99KB , 532x520 , 48.png )
1103530

TAXES: MAY I ADD--YOU HAD SHOWN ME AN ERROR IN MY CREATION, AND I DOUBT YOUR UNIQUENESS IN YOUR PLIGHT. I AM WILLING TO RETURN THE FAVOR, MOVE THESE OLD BONES AND PULL SOME STRINGS FOR YOU.

You lean forward.

TAXES: I COULD... EXPAND THE DEFINITION OF LINE 2 TO ENCOMPASS YOUR EMOTIONAL SOUL, AND, THEREBY, TRANSFER YOUR VEIAN LIFEFORCE ALONGSIDE YOUR TAX FORMS, RESTORING YOU TO EMOTIONAL WHOLENESS. UNDERSTAND I CANNOT GIVE THIS GRACE TO EVERYBODY. SINCE THIS PACT IS BOUND TO YOUR TAX STATUS, THE TERMS OF THIS PACT ARE SIMPLE: YOU MUST TURN IN YOUR TAXES ON TIME.

Taxes' words fill you with waves of intermingling relief and stress. On one hand, you have been given the divine grace of Taxes to continue your life. On the other hand, its condition will make tomorrow the most important day of your entire life.

You can handle it.

You may choose multiple and their order, or suggest your own action:
A) Press for information on the Thing. (What do you ask?)
B) Press for information on "ontological tampering" (What do you ask?)
C) Thank profusely.
D) Plead for an extension.
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No. 1103531 ID: 273c18

>>1103530
A. Say that it wasn't a hallucination because you had a premonition of your own death after talking to it. It's like it was trying to warn you, but you couldn't hear it directly? Also, you didn't mishandle your bookcase, which means something pushed it onto you. That means something is trying to stop you from doing your taxes, something related to the thing you saw. So, ask... who could have killed you?
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No. 1103533 ID: 273c18

Hmm, I wonder if Poppy will hear this:
Its name was ▒▎▋▒▓█▂▄. That means "Solstice".
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No. 1103534 ID: 6c233e

C) but also, it sounds like we still need to fill in 17 even though it isn't supposed to be there? Can he tell us what it is, or is this task impossible from the start?
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No. 1103538 ID: 1d9ed0

I don’t think Taxes know what The Thing was either. If it was supposed to be there, he would have said “IT IS BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION” or something like that. “YOU IMAGINED IT” implies that this could be a serious problem.
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No. 1103540 ID: a5a9f7

That.. sounds like you are missing a pact entirely: if you have a pact for everything but your "Veian" lifeforce... but that's assuming it was ever possible
A/B: I don't think your getting any direct information on these... but you can ask: Why, why was The Thing there? At you? Why the Tampering? was it anything you did?
Will there be other things trying to stop you doing the taxes?
And C, thank him deeply, he had no need to do this. For the god of taxes to be bending the rules, even if in response to other rules being bent by- someone else, can't be emotionally easy, even if it literally is as the god of taxes.
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No. 1103556 ID: 3937ba

B

I think that if there's some supernatural entity messing with our tax forms, and our continued existence as ourself depends on filing our tax forms properly, we should know what we're up against. If the Thing is an agent of this force, then we should learn about it, in turn.

(Also C, this is a terrific boon for the spirit of Taxes to grant personally. Many of His terrestrial representatives would not be so kind.)
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