Beanpig 2023/01/22(Sun)08:14 No. 1054381 ID: 08de23
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Oh, hey. It's you!

You're a deliveryman for DANNY’S EXOTICA EMPORIUM; a pan-dimensional goods seller fronting as a consignment store. You're their top (read: only) agent and an irreplaceable company asset.

Hooray! Go you! Back-pats all around, etc.

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Beanpig 2023/01/22(Sun)08:16 No. 1054382 ID: 08de23
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This is your boss, the eponymous DANNY.

She named you JACK DEERE (ha). It's a tired joke, but you tolerate it because half-hearted wordplay still sounds better than 'hey, you'.

Perhaps you'd insist on your real name if you remembered it. Alas, your pre-Emporium existence is a narratively-convenient haze.

==>

Beanpig 2023/01/22(Sun)08:16 No. 1054383 ID: 08de23
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Danny's prickly, but at least one person in this timeline cares for your continued existence:

Enter ADELINE.

She's Danny's business partner and Director of Operations. If Danny's the face of the Emporium, Adeline's the hidden brains.

A reality migrant herself, Adeline oversees the Emporium's extra-dimensional concerns, arranging deliveries and equipping Emporium personnel (again, just you) to fulfill them.

And speaking of jobs—

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Beanpig 2023/01/22(Sun)08:18 No. 1054384 ID: 08de23
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Beanpig 2023/01/22(Sun)08:19 No. 1054385 ID: 08de23
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Beanpig 2023/01/22(Sun)08:21 No. 1054386 ID: 08de23
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[ UNIVERSE: Go-Ju Alpha | RISK LEVEL: ★★★☆☆ | PARCEL: Rare BEANPIG SEED x1 ]

You're starting to wish you'd taken a sick day.

What now?

>_

Wally is huge, so it should have trouble traversing through the trees to catch you. Run away into the forest, and go into the direction where there are tons of trees.

Wait for it to attack, dodge roll behind it and ground pound the cross on its back.
Or you can just ask why THE WALL is so cranky.

time to take down this brick wall, kick it in the balls!

> Get Some Assumptions Squared Away!
I assume this isn't your client?
I assume that you know your destination?
I assume you need to get through this guy to reach that destination?
I assume you haven't lost the package?
I assume you don't get much info on the worlds you visit beyond what we've already been told just now?
I assume the number-letter universe code uses similar or identical criteria to a certain other author's cultivation multiverse, meaning this is a fairly low-power world (and the Risk Level only refers to the specific circumstances surrounding the delivery in relation to that universe's "range")?
I assume that you are not equipped to take this guy in a straight fight?

> What Do
If this isn't the client, it doesn't seem equipped to stop you from just going around it; given that your whole existence begins and ends with 'interdimensional foot-courier,' it's safe to presume that you're good on your feet, or at least quicker than this literal living brick wall.

>>1054388

Ditto for asking why it's cranky first. Who knows, maybe he's just having a rough day.

Risk level? Are we in a chinese isekai?

You didn't specified what kind of isekai cheat you have. I'm inclined to assume it's the travelling ability itself, but such presumption make me question why you would be an employer instead of the business owner.

If mister wall isn't unavoidable just run. If there is nothing to gain don't crash against a random pile of bricks.

Try climbing up the back side of the wall with fewer teeth.

Above all, be aware of where you are standing, make sure to have a clear path in your head in order to reach the woods or leg it to your truck-kun if the situation really goes wrong.

>>1054386
Evade!
Where are you delivering to, how long do you have, and how good are you in a fight?

Check your inventory. Do you have anything useful ? Tools, hidden talents, rare and exotic running-away techniques ?
If you don't, I advise you run away anyway. You should be faster than a wall.

>>1054386
it's a moving brick wall, get over to a hardware store and get some concrete dissolver! alternatively mix phosphoric acid with a bit of trisodium phosphate, same thing!

==> Beanpig 2023/01/27(Fri)15:42 No. 1054811 ID: 08de23
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> Where are you delivering to and how long do you have?
> What do you know about the worlds you visit?
> Did you lose the package?

PRISCILLA OF THE HILLS is a retired monster charmer running a sanctuary. Her details and your route are the only things you're confident about regarding GO-JU ALPHA—the Emporium gives you information about your destinations on a need-to-know basis.

The RARE BEANPIG SEED you're delivering is safely squared away in a pendant under your shirt.

Priscilla ordered 3 Day Delivery, but you hope to make it in less. Danny seems particularly intent on making this lady a regular.

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==> Beanpig 2023/01/27(Fri)15:44 No. 1054812 ID: 08de23
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You consider attacking WALLY—then dismiss the thought as a bizarre intrusion.

The hell is wrong with you? You way have more to lose than gain from trying that.

Right now, you're no better in a fight than Joe Average. The Emporium didn't grant you any combat-specific skills for this mission anyway.

You feel compelled to do a mental run-down of your abilities...

[CHECK MASTERY]

(Slots Filled: 3/3)

Slipstream [Permanent]
- You can sense and travel through weak points in the multiverse with little-to-no side effects.
- Cooldown: 24+ hours local

Sense of Direction [Beginner] [1 slot]
- You've memorized the most efficient route to your client's location.

Polyglot [Intermediate] [2 slots]
- You have conversational fluency in the local tongue, including regional dialect.

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Select One: Beanpig 2023/01/27(Fri)15:48 No. 1054813 ID: 08de23
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> Check your inventory. Do you have anything useful ?

You realize you haven't brought anything that would aid you in a fight against a sentient brick wall... not that you had any reason to.

[CHECK INVENTORY]

PACK:
Phone and Stylus x1 [Inner Hoodie Pocket A]
Local Currency x100 [Back Pocket A]
Breath Mints x1 [Back Pocket B]

---------------

EQUIPMENT:
Interdimensional Comms Link x1 [Worn - Left Ear]
HallMart Casual Set x1 [Worn - Body]
Rare Beanpig Seed x1 [Key Item] [Worn - Neck]

(Note: Inventory slots are fuzzy/common-sense to ease ludonarrative dissonance.)

> Ask why it's cranky
> Run into the forest

Diplomacy is worth a shot. Besides, if WALLY is unreceptive, you can always run. You're damn good at running even without special abilities.

WALLY stops screeching long enough for you to get a word in.

Choose One:

[1|Direct] "What are you screaming at?"

[2|Cautious] "Easy, guy! Easy. I'm not here to bother you. What's wrong?"

[3|Awkward] "Oof. That's definitely some kind of sound. So~o... why all the yelling?"

>>1054813
1

1 (while staring WALLY down as a power move)

4]| "Did that just happen? That just happened. A wall roared at me! Freaking unbelievable! A wall with anger management issues! This place is off the wall, get it?"

>>1054855

OP here, this is hilarious and I've already decided this will be JD's internal narration no matter what the dialogue ends up

1 is the most concise; we want to act fast if it is us it's screaming at. If it doesn't use its words, commence with the Evasive Maneuvers. You can outmaneuver your way around a wall with ease even if it is moving, I imagine.

1. But be prepared to run away.