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File 167440396968.png - (755.01KB , 1691x1497 , idg_000.png )
1054380 No. 1054380 ID: 08de23

[Rated PG-13, experimental and 50% improv. Let's all have a good time, hey?]

A quest following the misadventures of an interdimensional deliveryman who's way in over his head.
Expand all images
No. 1054381 ID: 08de23
File 167440408880.png - (1.63MB , 1567x1050 , idg_001.png )

Oh, hey. It's you!

You're a deliveryman for DANNY’S EXOTICA EMPORIUM; a pan-dimensional goods seller fronting as a consignment store. You're their top (read: only) agent and an irreplaceable company asset.

Hooray! Go you! Back-pats all around, etc.

No. 1054382 ID: 08de23
File 167440416062.png - (1.64MB , 1497x1018 , idg_002.png )

This is your boss, the eponymous DANNY.

She named you JACK DEERE (ha). It's a tired joke, but you tolerate it because half-hearted wordplay still sounds better than 'hey, you'.

Perhaps you'd insist on your real name if you remembered it. Alas, your pre-Emporium existence is a narratively-convenient haze.

No. 1054383 ID: 08de23
File 167440421692.png - (1.86MB , 1454x1036 , idg_003.png )

Danny's prickly, but at least one person in this timeline cares for your continued existence:


She's Danny's business partner and Director of Operations. If Danny's the face of the Emporium, Adeline's the hidden brains.

A reality migrant herself, Adeline oversees the Emporium's extra-dimensional concerns, arranging deliveries and equipping Emporium personnel (again, just you) to fulfill them.

And speaking of jobs—

No. 1054384 ID: 08de23
File 167440431427.png - (1.64MB , 1416x990 , idg_004.png )

No. 1054385 ID: 08de23
File 167440435885.png - (1.10MB , 1358x1016 , idg_005.png )

No. 1054386 ID: 08de23
File 167440449743.png - (1.91MB , 1358x941 , idg_006.png )

[ UNIVERSE: Go-Ju Alpha | RISK LEVEL: ★★★☆☆ | PARCEL: Rare BEANPIG SEED x1 ]

You're starting to wish you'd taken a sick day.

What now?

No. 1054387 ID: 27e0fa

Wally is huge, so it should have trouble traversing through the trees to catch you. Run away into the forest, and go into the direction where there are tons of trees.
No. 1054388 ID: 681cb5

Wait for it to attack, dodge roll behind it and ground pound the cross on its back.
Or you can just ask why THE WALL is so cranky.
No. 1054390 ID: dc13c4

time to take down this brick wall, kick it in the balls!
No. 1054393 ID: bbb04b

> Get Some Assumptions Squared Away!
I assume this isn't your client?
I assume that you know your destination?
I assume you need to get through this guy to reach that destination?
I assume you haven't lost the package?
I assume you don't get much info on the worlds you visit beyond what we've already been told just now?
I assume the number-letter universe code uses similar or identical criteria to a certain other author's cultivation multiverse, meaning this is a fairly low-power world (and the Risk Level only refers to the specific circumstances surrounding the delivery in relation to that universe's "range")?
I assume that you are not equipped to take this guy in a straight fight?

> What Do
If this isn't the client, it doesn't seem equipped to stop you from just going around it; given that your whole existence begins and ends with 'interdimensional foot-courier,' it's safe to presume that you're good on your feet, or at least quicker than this literal living brick wall.
No. 1054394 ID: 629f2e


Ditto for asking why it's cranky first. Who knows, maybe he's just having a rough day.
No. 1054400 ID: 5d9787

Risk level? Are we in a chinese isekai?

You didn't specified what kind of isekai cheat you have. I'm inclined to assume it's the travelling ability itself, but such presumption make me question why you would be an employer instead of the business owner.

If mister wall isn't unavoidable just run. If there is nothing to gain don't crash against a random pile of bricks.
No. 1054401 ID: a7a180

Try climbing up the back side of the wall with fewer teeth.
No. 1054402 ID: ccbbb0

Above all, be aware of where you are standing, make sure to have a clear path in your head in order to reach the woods or leg it to your truck-kun if the situation really goes wrong.
No. 1054440 ID: 15c72a

Where are you delivering to, how long do you have, and how good are you in a fight?
No. 1054494 ID: eed02a

Check your inventory. Do you have anything useful ? Tools, hidden talents, rare and exotic running-away techniques ?
If you don't, I advise you run away anyway. You should be faster than a wall.
No. 1054496 ID: cd4366

it's a moving brick wall, get over to a hardware store and get some concrete dissolver! alternatively mix phosphoric acid with a bit of trisodium phosphate, same thing!
No. 1054811 ID: 08de23
File 167486292382.png - (1.45MB , 1368x1031 , idg_007.png )

> Where are you delivering to and how long do you have?
> What do you know about the worlds you visit?
> Did you lose the package?

PRISCILLA OF THE HILLS is a retired monster charmer running a sanctuary. Her details and your route are the only things you're confident about regarding GO-JU ALPHA—the Emporium gives you information about your destinations on a need-to-know basis.

The RARE BEANPIG SEED you're delivering is safely squared away in a pendant under your shirt.

Priscilla ordered 3 Day Delivery, but you hope to make it in less. Danny seems particularly intent on making this lady a regular.

No. 1054812 ID: 08de23
File 167486309680.png - (433.19KB , 1173x903 , idg_008.png )

You consider attacking WALLY—then dismiss the thought as a bizarre intrusion.

The hell is wrong with you? You way have more to lose than gain from trying that.

Right now, you're no better in a fight than Joe Average. The Emporium didn't grant you any combat-specific skills for this mission anyway.

You feel compelled to do a mental run-down of your abilities...


(Slots Filled: 3/3)

Slipstream [Permanent]
- You can sense and travel through weak points in the multiverse with little-to-no side effects.
- Cooldown: 24+ hours local

Sense of Direction [Beginner] [1 slot]
- You've memorized the most efficient route to your client's location.

Polyglot [Intermediate] [2 slots]
- You have conversational fluency in the local tongue, including regional dialect.

No. 1054813 ID: 08de23
File 167486332569.png - (1.69MB , 1405x1055 , idg_009.png )

> Check your inventory. Do you have anything useful ?

You realize you haven't brought anything that would aid you in a fight against a sentient brick wall... not that you had any reason to.


Phone and Stylus x1 [Inner Hoodie Pocket A]
Local Currency x100 [Back Pocket A]
Breath Mints x1 [Back Pocket B]


Interdimensional Comms Link x1 [Worn - Left Ear]
HallMart Casual Set x1 [Worn - Body]
Rare Beanpig Seed x1 [Key Item] [Worn - Neck]

(Note: Inventory slots are fuzzy/common-sense to ease ludonarrative dissonance.)

> Ask why it's cranky
> Run into the forest

Diplomacy is worth a shot. Besides, if WALLY is unreceptive, you can always run. You're damn good at running even without special abilities.

WALLY stops screeching long enough for you to get a word in.

Choose One:

[1|Direct] "What are you screaming at?"

[2|Cautious] "Easy, guy! Easy. I'm not here to bother you. What's wrong?"

[3|Awkward] "Oof. That's definitely some kind of sound. So~o... why all the yelling?"
No. 1054816 ID: 15c72a

No. 1054827 ID: f1f713

1 (while staring WALLY down as a power move)
No. 1054855 ID: a7a180

4]| "Did that just happen? That just happened. A wall roared at me! Freaking unbelievable! A wall with anger management issues! This place is off the wall, get it?"
No. 1054866 ID: 08de23


OP here, this is hilarious and I've already decided this will be JD's internal narration no matter what the dialogue ends up
No. 1054929 ID: bbb04b

1 is the most concise; we want to act fast if it is us it's screaming at. If it doesn't use its words, commence with the Evasive Maneuvers. You can outmaneuver your way around a wall with ease even if it is moving, I imagine.
No. 1054932 ID: 7c0da2

1. But be prepared to run away.
No. 1055016 ID: 08de23
File 167510503322.png - (2.35MB , 1384x1037 , idg_010.png )

> Stare down WALLY
> Internal monologue

You affix WALLY with the most unimpressed stare your facial muscles can craft. You've had a long week--too long for shenanigans like these--and you'd really like to stay on schedule.

Time for a well-deserved bout of internal despair.

((Did that just happen? That just happened. A wall roared at me! Freaking unbelievable! A wall with anger management issues! This place is off the wa--))

WALLY grumbles, jolting you back to the present.
No. 1055017 ID: 08de23
File 167510514512.png - (1.18MB , 1411x755 , idg_011.png )

----TIP: DIALOGUE WHEEL---- When engaging an NPC for the first time, dialogue options are presented via dialogue wheel. Each option nudges your overall characterization towards the matching label. The available 'tones' can change over time to reflect this. Otherwise, things are pretty open-ended.

> Act fast, be concise. [Direct +1]

"What are you screaming at?"

You sound more tired than intimidating. For a moment, you worry WALLY might simply ignore you. Then, an unlikely result—the grumpy stack of stones grinds out a response.

WALLY's voice grates like a V*cal*id crossed with a mortar and pestle. The syllables don't separate that well, but you make out a few key words:

「NO... SAFE... GO... BACK...」

WALLY flails again. Now you see the gesture's intent: a clumsy shoo-shoo for discouraging travelers.


"On a scale of 1 to 10, how safe is 'no safe'?"

「NO... SAFE... GO... BACK...!」

Right, well. No point debating a wall, at least not without a solid (ha) argument.

You glance at the sky. Midday already, huh?

You're on a tight deadline, here, and the quickest route to PRISCILLA's cuts straight through WALLY... but unusual circumstances do call for some flexibility.

What do?
No. 1055028 ID: 5d82cd

1. Maybe try one more time to get an answer out of the wall - ask what the danger is, maybe?
2. Are there any other people nearby, a house or farm or village or st? Perhaps you could quickly check if anybody's heard of anything (or round up a posse?)
3. Failing that...are you expected to risk danger for your job? If so, I guess try to run around the wall (and say thanks/sorry?) and be on the alert for anything weird/bad up ahead? If not...up to you how you feel about it, I guess.
No. 1055032 ID: ccbbb0

Well, let's explain the situation to Wally and ask him for a path that can take us to Prscilla in time.
No. 1055049 ID: 24edb5

Thank him for his warning and reassure him that you are a higly trained deliveryman and that you will be perfectly safe. Ask him for directions and informations.
No. 1055140 ID: 08de23
File 167538749020.png - (1.47MB , 1381x1039 , idg_012.png )

> Ask WALLY what the danger is
> Are there any other people nearby?

Your borrowed memories of the area include a rest stop 2 hours away on foot. At least you won't be stuck in the wilderness if you have to backtrack.

"Okay, okay, I get it," you tell WALLY. "It's dangerous out there." You step away, illustrating your concession. "Can you at least tell me why?"

WALLY grunts.

「AIR... NO... GOOD.」

That's a start. You nod, urging WALLY to elaborate. WALLY does its damnedest, even swaying its arms for emphasis as it 'talks'.

「AIR... MAKE... VERY... SICK...」

Despite its best efforts, WALLY's belaboured approximation of speech doesn't get much detail across, and you're starting to feel sorry for it.

"Bad air quality. Gotcha."

> Ask WALLY for a safe route to Priscilla's
> Explain the situation

WALLY grumbles and stares you down, as if to say, 'now go away'.

You swallow a sigh. Your left ear tingles where your [Interdimensional Comms Link] is pinned, reminding you calling the whole delivery off and forcing the Emporium to reschedule is technically an option...

But your parents (probably) didn't raise a quitter, so on you press.

"Listen. I'm a courier, and I've got an important delivery for one 'Priscilla of the Hills', due in about three days. Can you give me an alternate route?"
No. 1055142 ID: 08de23
File 167538763754.png - (1.36MB , 1351x952 , idg_013.png )


WALLY falls quiet for a moment. Then:

「HEAR... ME. SKY... SAFE.」

「GO... BY... SKY.」

WALLY swings an arm upwards, as though miming a throw. Its gravelly voice seems gentler, somehow.

「BRING... GIFT... GOOD...」


WALLY may be made of stone, but it seems the creature isn't stone-hearted. If PRISCILLA is a monster charmer, and WALLY is technically a monster, you're not surprised if they're associated.

Well, what now?

You could call it quits here (and face Danny's managerial wrath), or burden yourself with puzzling out airmail in a foreign dimension. Either way, you'll need to update the Emporium and spend the night in GO-JU ALPHA, as your plane-hopping abilities are still cooling down...
No. 1055143 ID: 60027c

Well, then, time to find ourselves andbairplane.

Uuh, does Wally or anyone around know how to get one?
No. 1055145 ID: 15c72a

No reason to quit when you can't even go home yet. Better ask around about air mail, or ail travel.
No. 1055147 ID: 0ba437

Can Wally give you a toss? They seem like a Big Strong Structure, surely they have the strongth to huck you through the air to your destination, or at least closer to it.
No. 1055154 ID: 30de7b

Oh. Yeah, I guess bad air isn't a thing you can sneak past.

This could work...assuming you'll survive the landing. It doesn't sound like you have super impact resistance or anything, though.

I guess keep asking questions, see if you can get any more suggestions out of Wally?
No. 1055156 ID: bbb04b

Quickly thank him for the advice and - oh, one more thing: Where can we go if we wanna travel by air? We're kinda new to the area.

Report the situation once you're on the move - I wager that you've learned yourself how to keep those short and to the point; interdimensional cell-data ain't cheap!
No. 1055410 ID: 08de23
File 167578800834.png - (2.01MB , 1345x1333 , idg_014.png )

> Keep asking questions, see if you can get any more suggestions out of Wally

Art's gonna get increasingly inconsistent while I figure out how to balance the image-to-text ratio of this quest...

"Thanks. I'll make sure your 'mom' gets her gift."

WALLY seems satisfied with your response; at least, satisfied enough that its eyebrows flatten into a less aggressive pose.

You wrangle some final details from your new ally:

1. The rest stop from your artificial memories, Kanna's, is a fine place to spend the night. It's popular with long-distance travelers—you may well meet someone with air transport there.

2. Kanna's doesn't offer lodging to just anyone who stumbles in off the highway. You'll need to plead your case to the host to secure a room.

3. You can expect to meet other people who intend to take the path WALLY's blocking off. The local culture skews conversational, so your 'unique' fashion sense might attract the curious.

WALLY confirms your new route and points back the way you came.


「BE... SAFE... LIFE... HARD.」

It waves as you turn away, and you wave back over your shoulder. Insightful words from a sentient stack of bricks.

"Good luck out here."
No. 1055411 ID: 08de23
File 167578810858.png - (219.30KB , 1330x529 , idg_015.png )

(Cue light-hearted animé 'stroll in the woods' track...)
No. 1055412 ID: 08de23
File 167578817643.png - (665.52KB , 1313x940 , idg_016.png )

>Report the situation once you're on the move - I wager that you've learned yourself how to keep those short and to the point; interdimensional cell-data ain't cheap!


You walk for an hour-ish before you stumble on a leyline. Your [Pandimensional Comms Device] warms as you approach the nexus. Once it's just hot enough to teeter on painful, you stop by the roadside and touch the cuff.

Static in your head. Short, crackling bursts that drown out the ambience of the forest.

You close your eyes.
No. 1055413 ID: 08de23
File 167578839319.png - (850.20KB , 1371x702 , idg_017.png )

You 'see' the words more than 'hear' them, and it's hard to tell who transmits...


You skip the pleasantries. ~Checking in a little late. The delivery route's blocked off. Health hazard.~

~For real?~ That disgruntled voice definitely belongs to DANNY. ~What, did everyone catch the Fantasy Plauge? How's the delivery? ETA?~

~Guessing three days flat. Trying to find the local equivalent of airmail right now.~

~No airmail unless you're getting in the sky with the package, got it? I want that BEANPIG SEED signed for. Priscilla's a special client.~

~I know, I know. I'll deliver it personally. I can't say how long until I cross the next leyline, but I'll update you on the situation sometime tomorrow local.~

~That's what I wanna hear. I'll keep an ear out, so stay in one piece, JD.~

Without so much as a 'cheers', the connection breaks.

All seems quiet for now. You should probably use this time to think up a fake backstory for Kanna's, in case anything unexpected and disruptive happens.

(Unexpected and disruptive has been the general theme of your past week.)

So, what will your FAKE NAME and FAKE HISTORY be?
No. 1055433 ID: e5709d

Sarthos Bellstuffer
Temporary Magical Construct (on a magical quest to fulfill your master's whim and then cease to exist)
No. 1055443 ID: 9f25d6

You are Beanpi Giorno! Special building inspector.
No. 1055510 ID: bbb04b

Um... Is there any reason we can't just be truthful, save for the "interdimensional" part? Simple is better when you're inventing a cover-story. The less lies you have to tell, the better. At the same time, I assume you only bring this up because people who want to stop/intercept your specific delivery are an annoyingly common occurrence. As for a specific cover story, assuming that hiding your identity, affiliation, and delivery target are the bare minimum... Though we need to keep our destination the same; we need to book a flight, after all, so we can't lie about that.

> Your name is JACE - JACE DIERDRE, in full, but only if someone asks; we don't know that last names are even a thing, or if only nobles have them or something.

> You are a FREELANCE COURIER on a delivery to THE HILLS(?). If anyone other than your hired pilot asks about the specifics, you keep all your clients in strict confidentiality, and info on any of them is on a need-to-know basis. Of course, if Priscilla lives in a named town or something, you can safely name-drop that and staunchly refuse to elaborate to anyone, not even your pilot.

> You grew up FAR FROM HERE, in the COUNTRYSIDE. No specific place-names will be given; we will not get caught out by a "fellow native" or "seasoned traveler" of whatever spot on the map we'd have pointed at.

> You like boasting about your running speed - from chasing escaped animals - and having a nice cool drink in the evening, and dislike having your sleep interrupted or delayed. You prefer coffee over tea, and are a teetotaler when it comes to drugs and alcohol - that stuff makes folks crash in the long-run, and you're always on the clock, but since you're always in a rush to be headed somewhere, you never get to see as much of the places you visit as you'd like.

> Also (and this one's vitally important as a strategic move), you'll be more curious about whoever you're talking to than perhaps JACK DEERE would be; the more time they have to spend answering your questions, the less time and inclination they'll have to ask their own of you.
No. 1055650 ID: 08de23

Forgot to mention: names, concepts, etc. that aren't chosen for Jack will be applied to NPCs or tertiary characters moving forward. Have fun!
No. 1056192 ID: 08de23
File 167649348430.png - (632.90KB , 1200x900 , idg_018.png )



> Your name is JACE - JACE DIERDRE, in full, but only if someone asks; we don't know that last names are even a thing, or if only nobles have them or something.

This will do. So far as you can tell from your borrowed memories, the name sounds local enough.

>Um... Is there any reason we can't just be truthful, save for the "interdimensional" part?

Quoth DANNY:

Tracking is for packages, not people.

You aren't particularly concerned with interdimensional stalkers, but Emporium policies require pseudonyms outside 'home base'. Something something agent safety; something something cover your tracks. You reckon DANNY just likes the sound of her own voice.

All in all, you don't mind playing along. It's a minor inconvenience considering the Emporium feeds you, houses you, and otherwise ensures your survival in a foreign universe.

Actually, how do you feel about all this?

ADELINE's mentioned she finds your adaptability most impressive, if uncanny for an amnesiac reality migrant. You're a good actor, though—comes with the territory—so regardless of your stance, your employers don't know your true thoughts on your situation.

It's quiet right now. You might benefit from a little introspection to kill time.
No. 1056198 ID: 7f2a90

Well, it certainly isn't boring! (Even if interdimensional travel isn't usually as exciting as most people think.)

You do have... questions about why, exactly, the Emporium's sole deliveryman is some amnesiac whose existence isn't really questioned by either of your bosses, and about why you're the only one (with only two coworkers) in what you'd assume should be a major industry.

Ultimately, you guess this beats whatever your previous occupation was, at least, and you try not to think about the implications of the likely identity behind whoever/whatever made you an amnesiac, as this is (conveniently for the narrative) a mostly unactionable line of thinking.

(There's a distinction between NPCs and "tertiary characters?" Interesting...)
No. 1056425 ID: e51896

No. 1056435 ID: 5c4288

Consider what you do remember from past deliveries. You seem to know your employers well, and you appear competent at your job. What all have you done that you do recall involving them? Were you already working for them when your memories fade away, or did they find you afterwards?
No. 1056466 ID: 520a3f

Might as well muse on what you DO know. Where IS your home base? Is it at least comfortable?
No. 1056479 ID: aa81bb

It's very interesting seeing other dimensions another worlds!

Sometimes you compare easy points of reference like souvenir shops and fast food places!
No. 1058398 ID: 08de23
File 167868009526.png - (554.85KB , 1258x954 , idg_019.png )

>Consider what you do remember from past deliveries
>Well, it certainly isn't boring! (Even if interdimensional travel isn't usually as exciting as most people think.)
>Sometimes you compare easy points of reference like souvenir shops and fast food places!

Compared to the reality posited by fantasy novels, your travels are often entertaining-but-unremarkable. Sometimes the changes between worlds are subtle: a McDaniel's where a McDowel's would be, that sort of thing.

You have a client, a package, and the general knowledge to unite them--the 'exciting' bits come courtesy of random inconveniences.

For example, your last delivery had you delivering enchanted winter gloves to an eccentric occult aficionado in ROKU ALPHA.

Uncomplicated, right?

Well, it was, until you spawned into a biweekly cult ritual. The members thought they'd summoned a demon.

(You still find their assessment of your face a smidge insulting.)

No. 1058399 ID: 08de23
File 167868024588.png - (480.64KB , 1148x864 , idg_020.png )

>...why you're the only one (with only two coworkers) in what you'd assume should be a major industry.

Oh, there are others. Kind of. The Emporium fronts as a 'normal' store, after all.

Fraternal twins ENZO and ASTRA man the register and work the floor. Aside from being comically flamboyant, the pair seem mundane enough.

No. 1058400 ID: 08de23
File 167868028623.png - (652.57KB , 1234x871 , idg_021.png )

There's also some guy with a mask fetish who blows by with new stock every few weeks.

You're the not-normal deliveryman because you're best suited for it, what with the consequence-free dimension hopping and all. Probably. You don't ask too much about the other staff's circumstances, in case they get the idea they're welcome to reciprocate.

No. 1058401 ID: 08de23
File 167868037333.png - (470.35KB , 1255x909 , idg_022.png )

>Were you already working for them when your memories fade?

Your memories go hazy whenever you try thinking farther back than your first month or so at the Emporium. Your earliest, sharpest memories are of your orientation with ADELINE. She's more animated around you than with the normies upstairs, actually, expressive in ways uncommon in public.

>Where IS your home base? Is it at least comfortable?

It's not bad. DANNY sectioned off the employee lounge upstairs for you. If ASTRA and ENZO mind, neither have expressed this to your face.

The lounge serves you well enough as an apartment suite. You might as well be the live-in janitor, too, given cleaning the kitchenette and bathrooms fall to you.

Everything prior is a semi-coherent smear, like pages of a comic book rescued from a washing machine.

No. 1058402 ID: 08de23
File 167868055238.png - (193.75KB , 1245x873 , idg_023.png )

>You guess this beats whatever your previous occupation was, at least, and you try not to think about the implications of the likely identity behind whoever/whatever made you an amnesiac.

Indeed; it's not worth dwelling on. Does it really matter so long as you're functional? Even the best orators can't remember their first words, but they're no less eloquent for it.

Anyway, you're being addressed.

"H E L L O! H E L L O! P L E A S E - H A L T - S I R!"

...There's a kid(?) with an odd intonation up ahead waving at you, standing smack in the middle of the road. WALLY did say you might encounter folks on the way to KANNA's.

Choose a tone and suggest a course of action/dialogue/etc:



[3|Other: Specify]

Long update is long, I know. I vanished for a bit; back now! :'D
No. 1058420 ID: 2eb3cc

Stop briefly and ask what's up, I guess?
No. 1058421 ID: 273c18

2. Stopping someone in the middle of a road with a smile like that smells of banditry.
No. 1058461 ID: 34713f

[3|JACE: Energetic]
"Sorry, Jace stops for no man no woman no child nor beast o' the earth, but I can walk-and-talk if yer up fer it!" Keep up the exact same pace the whole time no matter what happens.
No. 1058466 ID: 708905

Something seems off
No. 1062664 ID: 08de23
File 168317128666.png - (859.97KB , 3072x2304 , idg_024.png )

>Stopping someone in the middle of a road with a smile like that smells of banditry.

Something about that mile-wide grin doesn't sit right with you. Using kids as bait for stick-ups isn't uncommon back home; no reason things would be different here.


>"Sorry, Jace stops for no man no woman no child nor beast o' the earth, but I can walk-and-talk if yer up fer it!" Keep up the exact same pace the whole time no matter what happens.

The kid hesitates for a solid 1.5 seconds before skipping after with inhuman speed for their short legs.


Their grin somehow spreads, revealing stark white teeth to shame the finest dentures. As they match your pace, beaming up at you, their blank irises catch your attention.

"Huh!" You mask your suspicion well. "Not so nice of 'em, is that? Ya look like a good kid!"

"THAT'S-VERY-KIND-OF-YOU-SIR!" Thankfully, their smile seems to have reached its maximum width. Their pitch's chipper upswing strikes you as even uncannier, though. "NOW-PLEASE-IF-YOU-DON'T-MIND, I-MUST-ASK-YOU--"

"What, not even a handshake 'fore the interrogation?" You raise a good-natured eyebrow. "I could trade ya fer a name. Only fair!"

You catch the faintest twinge of annoyance on their face.

"OH! HOW-RUDE-OF-ME! YES-YES-OF-COURSE!" Without missing a step, they perform a sharp salute. "MY-NAME-IS-SARTHOS!"

Before you can interject, Sarthos continues:


Only now are you hyper-aware of the BEANPIG SEED warming against your chest.

Damn. You really are gonna be mugged by a kid, aren't you.

((Beanpig Says: From here, a guest artist will pop in for a bit for quicker updates. Anyway, let the shenanigans continue.))
No. 1062674 ID: 4189f6

Nope, can't allow that. Time to run!
No. 1062688 ID: bcda6c

"well, sucks to suck lol"
>book it like a motherfucker as daddy dearest bursts into the bedroom, shotgun in hand
No. 1062689 ID: 8f084a

"Well do you have the right paperwork? Can't just give this thing to anyone youknow"
No. 1062703 ID: af7615

I dunno, his behavior is weird enough that he may not be mugging you; he may just not be communicating clearly. Maybe he only needs it for a bit? Ask what for. Probably don't simply hand it over, regardless.
No. 1062704 ID: e5709d

Looks like a robot.
Be friendly but assertive. You have a job to do and you don't have a sufficient level to deal with sidequests.
No. 1062708 ID: a7a180

Sorry, my mom taught me not to cooperate with strangers! Why do you want it anyway?

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