Himitsu 2021/11/30(Tue)08:48 No. 1016423 ID: 629f2e
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RACHAEL: C-Can I get a bone-in pizza w-w-with- um- p-pepperoni, and pineapple, and stuffed bone, stuffed pepperonis, and a fruit punch center?
JERRY: A number four, got it.

Suggestion 2021/11/30(Tue)08:49 No. 1016424 ID: 6c227a
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None pizza with left beef

>>1016423
I hate this but I also think that this kind of pizza would make for comedy gold in terms of delivery.

Doomsby 2021/11/30(Tue)19:21 No. 1016437 ID: e7c7d3
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The supreme supreme

Suggestion 2021/12/01(Wed)04:19 No. 1016468 ID: bfdaf0
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Apple Calzone with cherry topping.

1/9 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2021/12/14(Tue)03:20 No. 1017370 ID: e51896
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>>1016423
>>1016426


Kaia and her friends are right, she can take time to think about whatever toppings she wants, she shouldn’t overthink things, and she should totally order some hot pepp… nevermind.

However, whenever Rachael has to make an important phonecall, she has to write a script to read off what she wants to say so she doesn’t mess up her words, get stuck pausing thinking about what she wants to say carefully, or avoid accidentally offending anyone. Since this was a spur of the moment, she is left with her own mind to rely on.

‘It’s okay’ she thinks to herself, ‘just pick a topping you really like even if it is too suspicious that you’re ordering something quick and simple for a dare, but then just add in a topping that nobody would order to throw the employee off their suspicions. No one on the other line will suspect you’ll be taking the pizza naked with this order!’ With that, Rachael has made her decision: a pepperoni, chicken (without bones), and pineapple pizza, cheese stuffed crust, and with fruit punch as a drink! Perfect! She repeats the line she is going to say in her head a few times, and then begins speaking

RACHAEL: C-Can I get a bone-in pizza w-w-with- um- p-pepperoni, and pineapple, and stuffed bone, stuffed pepperonis, and a fruit punch center?

W… WAIT! That wasn’t what she meant to say! AHHHHH! Why does everything she wants to say out loud sounds so much worse than how it sounds in her head!?

However, the person on the other line without missing a beat confirms the order as a number 4 and asks if there’s anything else she wants.

Rachael is in shock! IT’S REAL?! Not only did they accept the order, but it was apparently an order on the menu?! As number 4 no less!? Rachael in utter confusion and without wanting to admit her mistake quickly thanks the employee, to which he responds saying something along the lines of please allowing two updates to prepare the pizza before timing the updates, we still gotta prologue to finish after all.

Rachael quickly thanks the employee profusely, hangs up, and turns to face her friends with a nervous smile on her face. Charisse raises an eyebrow, but shrugs.

CHARISSE: I guess Rachael has an acquired taste. Well, whateves. I’m not going to eat it. You girls can share it without me... with the pumpkin.
KAIA: Um… that’s okay, Rachael, I’ll eat it with you… I’m sure it’ll taste… delicious.
KAIA: Don’t knock it till you try it as they say.
JACKIE: Awwwww, no hot peppers…
KAIA: Hey, it’s Rachael’s orders!
JACKIE: Ah well, a naked Rachael will be hot enough to quench my thirst.
KAIA: Wait… you meant hot peppers as in…
KAIA: Forget it, I don’t wanna know!
KAIA: Well, in any case, just remember you don’t have to do this, Rachael, we can go home whenever you want...
CHARISSE: Orrrrrrr you can switch to telling us the truth!

Rachael shakes her head

RACHAEL: I’m f…fine.
CHARISSE: well… okay then.

Charisse throws Rachael a bathrobe

CHARISSE: Go and get undressed whenever you’re ready. You can use my bathroom.
JACKIE: Or undress here!

Kaia glares daggers at Jackie

JACKIE: Hey, just suggesting it as an option

RACHAEL: Bathroom is fine, thanks!

Rachael runs over to the bathroom, robe dragging along the floor by her hand, and slams the door shut, locking it.

MESSAGE FROM PEA: Congrats, your customer, and pizza order choices has been locked in. We’ll check in on these dorks every now on then as the B plot. But the main focus will be on Jerry’s journey to deliver that pizza(?) Also, I guess this quest is now potentially NSFW? If that’s the case, there’s your warning right there, this quest is now potentially NSFW.

2/9 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2021/12/14(Tue)03:20 No. 1017371 ID: e51896
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Jerry hangs up the phone after receiving the order, and goes over the notes he’s written. Of course, Jerry finds the pizza that was ordered really disgusting and cursed, but he also knows by now that there are many species out there with vastly different kinds of tastes. That is why has a huge diverse range of pizzas that humans may find unappetizing, but other species find delicious, like a doggie treat pizza for example.

In fact, sometimes whenever there is a weird pizza that gets ordered, Jerry likes to play a guessing game where he tries to figure out what kind of species ordered what kind of weird pizza.

And judging by the order he received, he can without a doubt with confidence believe that the person who ordered this pizza was……… a human! Has to be, his species eats weird shit all the time, like haggis!
Jerry wonders if it is speciesist to play such games.

Satisfied with this answer, Jerry informs his uncle about the new order. After explaining what kind of pizza it is, Ricardo starts laughing

RICARDO: Ahahahahahahahaha!*sigh*tobeyoungagain...

Ricardo cheerful expression then quickly becomes more serious
RICARDO: Justremember,Geraldo,toALWAYStreatthecustomerwiththeutmostRESPECT,NOMATTERWHAT.Yougotthat?

That’s odd. What was with that laugh? And isn’t the rule about treating the customers with respect something that goes without saying? It’s common knowledge after all. Why would Jerry need to be reminded of this? He tries to ask his uncle about what he’s getting at.

RICARDO: Don’tworryaboutit…you’llsee…

Ricardo just smirks and laughs again leaving Jerry in the dark.

RICARDO: Well,don’tjuststandthere,gogetprepared!I’llcookthepizza.

Right, Jerry can’t just stand there, he’s gotta get ready for this pizza order and protect his job position. This is his last chance to prove himself after all. He pulls out his smart phone and puts in the coordinates of the location for the MARINATION UNIVERSITY DORMITORIES so he can get a better idea of what the journey will entail and decide how he would like to prepare…

…

…Aww shit,

Well the good news is: the ETA to the dormitories will be around 15-20 updates assuming there won’t be any PROBLEMS… but the bad news is that all the possible routes to get there during the middle of his journey are each dangerous in their own rite and there will most likely be SITUATIONS and PROBLEMS.

To make things easier on himself, Jerry divides his journey to three SECTIONS. He feels the par time for each SECTION will be 10 UPDATES each, which means if he doesn’t make it to a CHECKPOINT before the par time, he’ll have to RUSH in the next SECTION!
The first SECTION involves him going through the street is located at: SAUCE STREET. It unfortunately will be rush hour during that time, so no doubt he will be facing some traffic, and some other SITUATIONS

Once he passes the first section, he’ll need to park his moped at the first CHECKPOINT located at the PARKING LOT, as that is the closest parking spot to the dormitories he can legally park. There, he’ll have to decide on which road to take to make it to his destination for the second SECTION.

Reaching the end of whatever road he takes will lead him to the FINAL CHECKPOINT, where he can evaluate things and prepare to look for ROOM 721 at the dormitories and make it to his destination during the FINAL SECTION.

3/9 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2021/12/14(Tue)03:22 No. 1017373 ID: e51896
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With that in mind, Jerry starts thinking about the streets he can choose to take for the SECOND SECTION, each with their own set of SITUATIONS and PROBLEMS, and ASSHOLES

The first possible street he can take is BROCCOLI STREET. The ASSHOLE who resides there is none other than CRUST CITY’S very own ELF SUPERHERO, THE BOID! And while he does fight crime to keep the city safe, he has also proclaimed himself to be PIZZA'S #1 ADVERSARY. If there is anyone who hates pizza more than Jerry, it’s this ASSHOLE. And while Jerry can respect his hatred, THE BOID tends to give Jerry PROBLEMS and has managed to destroy his pizza in the past.

THE BOID used to be a customer over at , but one day, after taking a bite from one of ’s pizza, some very hot cheese accidentally slid off the pizza and fell on his chin, burning him. From then on, he believed that all pizzas are trying to retaliate against citizens, and decided to don some footy pajamas, wear a towel as a cape, and put on a beak from a cheap Halloween store, and announced that he will not rest until ’s so-called controversy for world domination is exposed and taken down, saving the world from random pizza attacks once and for all. Jerry wonders why THE MAYOR would allow vigilantes like him on the street, especially crazy ones that try to destroy his pizza. But he guesses since THE BOID also fights crimes better than the police, the mayor simply ignores him.

Going down this street, Jerry will have to deal with THE BOID annoying him, and try to protect the customer’s pizza from being destroyed by him.

4/9 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2021/12/14(Tue)03:22 No. 1017374 ID: e51896
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The next possible street Jerry can take is THREE HAMS ROAD

THREE HAMS ROAD is home to CRUST CITY’S Burger joint: BURGERVANIA, rival to . The ASSHOLE and extremely popular rollerblading waitress mascot known as W2K works there. Jerry is unsure if she is a robot animatronic, or someone in a mascot suit, and is scared to ask or find out.

W2K actually used to be Jerry’s girlfriend ever since he was in college. He would skip classes just to hang out with her at BURGERVANIA. She would always be into thrilling and scary experiences with Jerry such as chasing each other around, watching scary movies, going into haunted houses, roller coasters. As long as it got the blood pumping, she was all for it. If there was one thing she loved more, it would be her job at BURGERVANIA. She is mad about burgers and loves serving them.

When their relationship ended a year ago, that was when Jerry saw W2K’s psychotic side. Ricardo specifically told him not to ever see W2K again as she is a part of ’s rival restaurant, BURGERVANIA when Jerry was starting out. So when Jerry broke up with her, she really did not take that lightly, especially after finding out it was because Jerry was working for , her greatest competitor. From that point on, whenever Jerry passed by with a pizza to deliver, she would threaten and try to kill Jerry with her chainsaw, turn him into a square burger, and feed him to her cat. Jerry finds it stupid how he can’t just report her due to her popularity, and because her father is the chief of police and good friends with THE MAYOR.

If Jerry takes this street, he’ll have to deal with a crazy ex-girlfriend chasing and hunting him down like in some kind of slasher film.

Message from PEA: Character design and concept for W2K was created by Absurdity DeVoid https://questden.org/wiki/Boris_Calija

5/9 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2021/12/14(Tue)03:22 No. 1017375 ID: e51896
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Next possible street is EXTRA CHEEZE STREET, where the BACON APARTMENTS are located at, and home to the ASSHOLES known as the FANATICS!

One day, before Jerry worked for , THE MAYOR held the annual PALATE OF CRUST CITY event, where people can buy and trade tickets to eat and try out different food from different restaurants. Ricardo entered this event to serve his , and it was a massive hit… so much so that it caused mobs to form around his booth and the event had to be cancelled since nobody was able to get through. To this day, whenever Jerry would pass by this street, just about everyone will try to chase him down to steal his pizza!

EUGENE, the green pizza rat also lives in the BACON APARTMENTS, and no one loves pizza more than him. But everybody calls him Gene. Jerry will most likely see him even if he doesn’t go down EXTRA CHEEZE STREET as a minor ASSHOLE. But if Jerry takes this street, Eugene will definitely be leading the mob to try to steal Jerry’s pizza as a major ASSHOLE.

If Jerry goes down this path, He’ll risk the customer’s pizza getting stolen, and will have to waste updates trying to get it back before most of it gets eaten.

Message from PEA: Character concept for Eugene was created by EDMANGO https://questden.org/wiki/EDMANGO

6/9 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2021/12/14(Tue)03:23 No. 1017376 ID: e51896
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Next possible street is MUSHROOM AVENUE, where the church of the MELTING IRIS is at, lead by the priest CASEY THE PILLOW.

Let’s be honest, it’s a cult full of creepy ASSHOLES. Jerry is not exactly sure what they worship or their motives, and was confused about it even when he did some research. One thing is for sure is that he wants nothing to do with them. The MELTING IRIS had recently been recognized as a religion by THE MAYOR and has started getting some funding from the city somehow.

Jerry had been in some weird SITUATIONS on this road. Early around the time when he started his job at and went down this road, a creepy looking kobold would always persist him to take a survey each and every day. It wasn’t until one particular bad day when he was almost late on a delivery that he decided to cave in and answer the questions at random without really paying attention so that maybe he wouldn’t be stopped to take a survey ever again.
After the survey was done, the kobold looked at the results, and gave Jerry a look of unease shock and wouldn’t say another word.

But despite that confusion, Jerry wasn’t bothered anymore for about a week until he noticed people in the street were staring at him whenever he passed by and whisper to each other. The last straw was when one day there was nobody on the streets for some reason, yet Jerry felt like he was being watched intensely. When he looked over at a manhole across the street, he was pretty sure he saw one of the cultist, the microphone person, glaring at him, and holding a net. This was followed by what he thinks was the sounds of footsteps which always felt like was getting closer and faster to him, causing him to run out of MUSHROOM AVENUE. Jerry was pretty sure that if he stayed longer, someone would have kidnapped him, He doesn’t want to go back down this road… but who knows, it’s been some months since he last visited, maybe they forgot all about him?

If he decides to go down Mushroom Avenue, he’ll have to try not to be potentially kidnapped by a weird cult.

7/9 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2021/12/14(Tue)03:23 No. 1017377 ID: e51896
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The last possible road Jerry can choose to take is SUPREME ROAD. Nothing really special about it, except that the MAYOR lives here. Though it is doubtful Jerry will see him since he works at CITY HALL, and CITY HALL is nowhere near SUPREME ROAD.

There isn’t any ASSHOLES here as far as Jerry knows, but it is still full of SITUATIONS and PROBLEMS to get out of. Really, if he takes this road, it’ll be like going through the first section, and won’t have to worry about the risks an ASSHOLE from the other roads would cause… but he has a feeling it might take a little longer to make it to his destination if he chooses that road, and there will be more PROBLEMS than usual to get out of.

8/9 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2021/12/14(Tue)03:23 No. 1017378 ID: e51896
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Luckily, Jerry has PALS that can help him out. Specifically, two that stand out is HARMON the cat, and VINCENT the human. Both usually are hiding out at the FIRST CHECKPOINT at the parking spot.

Harmon is pretty chill, and has a rad bike. He keeps a baggie full of weed and will definitely help Jerry as long as he promises him “a slice of that sweet ‘za”

Vincent, Harmon’s best friend, is a quiet dude who also keeps weed as well, but unlike Harmon who uses it for recreational purposes, he uses it for medicinal purposes, as it helps him eat the pizza. Unfortunately, the weed leaves him a more neurotic instead of less.

If Jerry wants their help, he’ll have to spend at least one update to convince them, with a chance of failing to recruit them but having the chance to try again for another update. Fortunately, Jerry is guaranteed to have them helping him if he can pay them with a slice of pizza!

Message from PEA: Character design and concept for Harmon was created by Doors https://questden.org/wiki/A_Game_Of_Words

Character design and concept for Vincent was created by Tippler https://questden.org/wiki/Tippler[/i]

9/9 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2021/12/14(Tue)03:23 No. 1017379 ID: e51896
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Now that Jerry knows what he’ll be up against, it is time to look into the 's POCKET INTERDIMENSIONAL CLOSET and pick out some items that will help him on his journey! He thinks he has room for 5 items to take with him in his HAMMERSPACIAL DIMENSION.

Plz post item ideas you want Jerry to bring with him on his quest along with a description on what they do. Be as creative as you want, but try not to go too OP with whatever crazy items we have here. For example, no “teleporter that can take you wherever you want”, because people can use that with the intent of getting to the destination in one update ending the quest early.

If an item is overpowered, but cool enough, I will nerf it to try to make things fair.

You’re not limited to just one item either, if you have multiple item ideas, post them.

You can also come up with items that could potentially SABOTAGE Jerry instead of HELPING him.

Some item examples could be a pizza decoy, a slice of pizza to give to someone to help you, skateboard, whatever you want!

After a while, I will put together a poll of the items you all suggested, and have you all select five items you want Jerry to bring

I'll come up with more later, but here's one:

The necklace of chaotic probability
The die will occasionally roll inside of it's case, the lower the roll, the more likely BAD things will happen, the higher the roll, the more likely GOOD things will happen, unfortunately the dice hates whoever has it and will try to roll WORSE more often then not.

My idea is that he carries it with him in case someone he really hates comes along so he can give them a "present" and get them off his back with both good AND bad luck. It's a double edged sword you see.

I think Three Hams road is the safest option for the pizza itself.

>>1017417
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hou0lU8WMgo&ab_channel=GentlemannGamer

All of these streets seem interesting in different ways, so if you don't mind I'm just going to rank my interest in them instead of listing my fave of the bunch.

1: THREE HAMS ROAD (I want Jerry to have to deal with his ex)
2: EXTRA CHEEZE STREET (An entire town of crazies after his pizza also sounds pretty neat though, lots of possibility there)
3: SUPREME ROAD (This seems like it has the potential to intersect with any and all of the previous choices, and could basically be like playing on hard mode)
4: BROCCOLI STREET (I hate The Boid, but if we engage with him then maybe just maybe he will die a horrible death)
5: MUSHROOM AVENUE (Nothing wrong with this option, just seems like it has the most predictable obstacles, which dampens the chaos some)

Now let's talk tools of the trade. If Henry Stickmin has taught us anything, it's that it isn't the tools themselves but how you use them. As such, I'm going to try for an even split of cool useful stuff to mundane seemingly useless stuff.

I'm also going to suggest way too much. Deal with it.

Green Spotted Mushroom - Grants whoever eats it an extra life. Takes a frame rule (one update) to respawn.

Screwdriver - With a changeable tip. Phillips head AND Flat head all in one.

Stale pepperoni - About two handfuls of pepperoni that have fallen off of pizzas mid-delivery.

Airbag - Car not attached.

Poodle Doll - A living stuffed toy he picked up in an alternate world of living plushes. Indeterminate size, nobody is really sure if it'll be the size of a normal toy, your size, giant, etc. His name is Mary.

Air Tank - A tank filled with about 30 minutes worth of air.

Scuba Gear - Doesn't include an air tank, so this is all unfortunately useless.

Leaning Tower of Pizza Boxes - About 9 Feet tall. Only stays up via suspension of disbelief.

The "I Don't Care"-inator! - A ray gun that inflicts a temporary lack of interest in whoever it hits. You have not been hit by this, you were hit by life. Only has three charges.

Lawyer Badge - Proves that you are legally fit to stand as an attorney. Purchased from the dollar store.

Trousers - Always keep a spare pair! You may never need them, but consider yourself lucky if you don't. Comes with a belt.

Painting Supplies -A canvas, easel, paints, brushes, the whole she-bang. Except for green, you've been out of green for a while. You have yellow and blue, but it's not the same...

Repulsion Gel -Two buckets full of one of Aperture Labs' signature goos. A blue gel that will make any surface it hits gain bouncy properties. Aperture Science is not responsible for any limbs broken while using this.

Baseball Bat - Hey batter batter! Great for reflecting projectiles, baseballs especially.

The Hottest Hot Sauce in the WORLD!!! - Guaranteed to melt your tongue or your money back! (May actually just be a jar filled with acid.)

Halloween Pail Filled with Candy - You got it all. Chocolate, peanut butter, gummy candies, sour stuff, raisins, etc.

The Arsene Amulet - A mystical artifact that allows the wielder to steal someone else's Epithet, a mystical word attached to their soul which grants special powers. Epithet users aren't exactly common around here, but you can always take a chance that anybody seeming to have super powers may just have an epithet specifically.

A Lot of Sheep - You can't seem to count how many are in here without falling asleep...

Polaroid Camera - Somebody put a way-too-bright bulb in the flash, and now it's effectively a tool for blinding people alongside it's more common use of taking photos.

Purr Feckt's Purse - You didn't steal this, you just haven't had the chance to return it to her yet after she left it at the courthouse. Contains her wallet, important evidence for another trial (hopefully one in the far future, you'd hate to have to deal with her today if she comes to get this), feminine products, keys (how did she get home without her car or house keys?), and a pair of handcuffs. You'd guess she has them because she's a prosecutor, but the fuzzy pink design screams "Personal Use".

Opacitator - "You'll walk through walls! - Gadget Gabe (2009)"

Cupcake - Sweet!

Dances of Unfortunate Travel - A book of ritualistic dances that provide completely unreliable transportation to you and others. The five factors it considers are Direction, Distance, Transportation Method (teleportation, flight, sudden compulsion to walk, conga line, plot hole, etc.) the number of targets affected, and which specific targets to cast it on. Theoretically different moves can control all of the methods, but you're only good enough to choose two at a time to control. All other factors are effectively random, your dance methods setting their values. Takes about 1/4th an update of uninterrupted dancing to activate.

Gerbera's Phone Number - Desperate times may call for the most desperate of measures.

Hot Air Balloon - Hot air not included.

Egg - Hatches after around 9000 steps. Not very helpful when you're driving. Whatever hatches is guaranteed to see you as its father and love you, as long as you treat it well.

Electronic Mail - An envelope containing nothing but pure electricity. You have no idea how it works either.

Rice - Good for drying out your phone.

A Stop Sign - It's time to stop!

Chewing Gum - Pizza flavored. This is considered a number 14 on your menu.

Special Monocle - Has a number of properties such as X-Ray vision and true sight. Only has a limited number of charges however, and may cause meta slowdown by forcing the artist to animate the x-ray effect.

Duct Tape - Arguably the most overpowered item on this list.

A Secret Santa Gift - You can't seem to remember what it is yet for some weird meta reason, but you're pretty sure you'll remember soon enough.

Pizza bomb - A high explosive that looks, smells and weighs identical to your normal delivery box. You throw (probably) this and not the actual pizza at someone to distract them with an explosive surprise.

Pizza Cutter Ver 3.6.0: a very sharp electric pizza cutter that cuts through tough surfaces. Turn it on, and it spins like a buzzsaw. Not recommended to be used for cutting pizza, as it will cut through the pizza stone. Can be used as a weapon

We're going to need bribing material, so yes, have a slice of pizza from a week or so ago, perfectly preserved in your handy DINNERWARE time capsule. It's even still hot!

Decoy pizza - It is a cardboard pizza that you put over your ordinary pizza.

Customer complaint manager - It is just a gun with rubber bullets.

Civilian disguise - Self Explanatory you even get the briefcase for the pizza.

Weed pizza. A pizza with weed toppings. This will be for our friends Vincent and Harmon to get them to help us.

Sunstone Jerry took this with him from the plush world. Can be used to heat up the pizza if it gets too cold, or heat up other things. (Doesnt have to be sunstone, can be a portalble electric microwave oven or stove to heat things)

Pizzachu - A rare pizza-eating rodent made of sapient stained glass. You can feed it stale crumbs, causing it to perform all kinds of tricks. Its main purpose is to act as a blinder against muggers.

[Censored] Ferret - In exchange for sugar-glazed pizza bites, this fuzzy contortionist will turn itself into a grappling hook with an increased chance to succeed and dodge.

The County's Smallest Cowty - A cow the size of your hand, capable of re-absorbing mass from an alternate dimension when it is fed soda. Can be used as a roadblock or a stampede.

Stale Leftovers - Your supply of expired foodstuffs from the Pizzaria. You can feed these to your animal companions in exchange for their help. Be warned - feeding a companion too many times during the quest will cause them to become ravenous, demanding more food until they become a hazard to the delivery itself.

Extra cheeze street, and if not that, then Three Hams!

Items:

Blue Shell: Throw it and it hits the person at the front of the line! Any line!

Netflix Password: The corporate account! For use only when bored.

Ice Dream: An ice sculpture in the shape of an ice cream cone. Throw it on any street to turn that road into the BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS.

Message from PEA: Just a heads up, the suggestions for item ideas will be locked in this SATURDAY NIGHT. Afterwards, I will run a poll for which 5 items you would want to take from the list of items suggested. I will also merge some of the items together if some seem pretty similar to each other to make things easier.

Also wanted to say you're all coming up with a lot of amazing suggestions for items! Thanks everyone!

I have more pizza related ideas

Tasty Cardboard Pizza - It's a pizza made of 100% organic cardboard, not that it matters. Strangely enough the first bite ALWAYS tastes and FEELS like pizza, but contains no nutritional value. Every bite after that tastes like cardboard, but this would prove useful if you're fighting off a swarm of pizza lovers

Illegal Powdered Donut- a mini powdered donut you've been saving. The sugar content is actually illegal in 17 different countries and consuming it will, for the briefest of moments, give you prescience, but after about [1 Update] you will suffer from an extreme crash of euphoria and a sugar coma, you've been holding into this for a special day, or for when you have a buddy to watch over you.

Pizza Ball - It's a ball textured like a Pizza, it bounces like a normal dodgeball, smells like a pizza, but has no nutritional value and deflates when bitten. You've used this as a weapon as it's technically not one and every time you say it's catchphrase "ITS TIME TO DELIVER A PIZZA-BALL" it returns to your hand by the next update.

A Lyluk brand SLUSHEE - A slushee of dubious origin that when drunk improves some of your stats for a few updates.

Message from PEA: Aaaaaaaand that's it. write ins for item suggestions are now closed. Thank you all so much for the amazing item ideas. I will be setting up a poll for you guys to vote for what items to take soon.

Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2021/12/19(Sun)11:30 No. 1017840 ID: e51896
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Message from PEA: Plz Vote for your favorite 5 items here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeYTG0_I_VuBLUiQvuPabT9lwYw1oLHINg21QBJ61WSIZHUBg/viewform?usp=sf_link

You can vote for more than 5 since the list is overwhelmingly big, but try to keep it close to 5 if you can. Think of your favorite items, and then choose your most favorites out of what you like.

Thoughts of which route to take during the second section bounce around in Jerry’s head. He’s leaning towards THREE HAMS ROAD or EXTRA CHEEZE STREET currently, but he realizes he is getting ahead of himself and decides not to dwell too much on thinking about this right now. He’ll make his decision once he reaches the first CHECKPOINT.

Instead, Jerry wants to focus mainly on what items to take with him. So, he opens the POCKET INTERDIMENSIONAL CLOSET, and is instantly greeted by an emptiness of dark space with items floating around inside… a large number of items! Too many items!! Jerry is immediately overwhelmed by how many items are inside, almost making it difficult for him to choose.

The POCKET INTERDIMENSIONAL CLOSET is a closet that contains a pocket dimension uses to store items of various sizes in to help with cooking a pizza such as ingredients sent to them by STEPHAN STUFFLE or cooking tools, and items to prepare for pizza deliveries.

Jerry can fit 5 more items from the closet into his HAMMERSPACIAL DIMENSION, a pocket dimension where he keeps his items (basically his INVENTORY).

Overall, he can fit 10 items, but has already used up 5 of those spaces for:

- Wallet (contains his bank card, drivers license, insurance card, 30 ₵A$H)
- Smart Phone
- Notebook Paper with Ramona's (Rachael's) name, location, phone number, order, and price.
- Keys to the moped
- Lighter

Jerry also has CIGARETTES, but he keeps those in his pants pocket.

You're probably wondering why Jerry doesn't just put Rachael's pizza in his hammer space... Well to that I say, it will all be explained in the next update. Don't worry. It's fiiiiine
Here is the items Jerry can take:

The Necklace of Chaotic Probability
The die will occasionally roll inside of its case, the lower the roll, the more likely BAD things will happen, the higher the roll, the more likely GOOD things will happen, unfortunately the dice hates whoever has it and will try to roll WORSE more often than not. (During SITUATIONS, if Jerry carries this, it will subtract 3 HELP points from the votes, but if he manages to give it to an ASSHOLE, or someone bothering him, it will subtract 3 SABOTAGE points from the vote as long as the ASSHOLE currently bothering him is holding it. if HELP wins in a SITUATION, it'll be guaranteed that if Jerry faces a PROBLEM in the next SITUATION, it won't result in another SITUATION happening when Jerry tries to get out of the PROBLEM.)

Teal Spotted Mushroom
Grants whoever eats it an extra life. Takes a frame rule (one update) to respawn... but will cause HALLUCINATIONS to occur.

Screwdriver
With a changeable tip. Phillips head AND Flat head all in one.

Stale pepperoni
About two handfuls of pepperoni that have fallen off of pizzas mid-delivery.

Airbag
Car not attached.

Poodle Doll
A living stuffed toy he picked up in an alternate world of living plushes. Indeterminate size, nobody is really sure if it'll be the size of a normal toy, your size, giant, etc. His name is Mary. He was Jerry’s campaign manager during his political campaign.

Air Tank
A tank filled with about 30 minutes worth of air.

Scuba Gear
Doesn't include an air tank, so this is all unfortunately useless.

Leaning Tower of Pizza Boxes
About 9 Feet tall. Only stays up via suspension of disbelief.

The "I Don't Care"-inator!
A ray gun that inflicts a temporary lack of interest in whoever it hits. You have not been hit by this, you were hit by life. Only has one charge left.

Lawyer Badge
Proves whoever has it is legally fit to stand as an attorney. Purchased from the dollar store. Made of cardboard

Trousers
Always keep a spare pair! Jerry may never need them, but consider himself lucky if he doesn't. Comes with a belt.

Painting Supplies
A canvas, easel, paints, brushes, the whole she-bang. Except for green, Jerry has been out of green for a while. He have yellow and blue, but it's not the same...

Repulsion Pizza Sauce
Two buckets full of Ricardo's experimental repulsion pizza sauces that he tried to invent to keep stray particles like dust off the Pizza, but that experiment didn't work out well as it prevented toppings or cheese from staying on the pizza. Also inedible because it's REPULSIVE. It will make any surface it hits gain bouncy properties. is not responsible for any limbs broken while using this.

Baseball Bat
Hey batter batter! Great for reflecting projectiles, baseballs especially.

The Hottest Hot Sauce in the WORLD!!!
Guaranteed to melt your tongue or your money back! (May actually just be a jar filled with acid.)

Halloween Pail Filled with Candy
You got it all. Chocolate, peanut butter, gummy candies, sour stuff, raisins, etc. (May or may not be EXPIRED)

A Lot of Sheep
You can't seem to count how many are in here without falling asleep...

Polaroid Camera
Somebody put a way-too-bright bulb in the flash, and now it's effectively a tool for blinding people alongside it's more common use of taking photos. All the photos are to bright to see tho.

Purr Feckt's Purse
Jerry didn't steal this, he just haven't had the chance to return it to her yet after she left it at the courthouse. He’s serious! Contains her wallet, important evidence for another trial (hopefully one in the far future, you'd hate to have to deal with her today if she comes to get this), feminine products, keys (how did she get home without her car or house keys?), and a pair of handcuffs. You'd guess she has them because she's a prosecutor, but the fuzzy pink design screams "Personal Use".

Cupcake
Sweet! (But it’s pizza flavored)

Dances of Unfortunate Travel
A book of ritualistic dances that provide completely unreliable transportation to you and others. The five factors it considers are Direction, Distance, Transportation Method (teleportation, flight, sudden compulsion to walk, conga line, plot hole, etc.) the number of targets affected, and which specific targets to cast it on. Theoretically different moves can control all of the methods, but you're only good enough to choose two at a time to control. All other factors are effectively random, your dance methods setting their values. Takes about 1/4th an update of uninterrupted dancing to activate.

Gerbera's Phone Number
Desperate times may call for the most desperate of measures. Jerry really doesn't want to take this with him, and hopes his subconscious doesn't accidentally have him grab it (in other words, you suggesters).

Hot Air Balloon
Hot air not included.

Egg
Hatches after around 9000 steps. Not very helpful when you're driving. Whatever hatches is guaranteed to see you as its father and love you, as long as you treat it well.

Electronic Mail
An envelope containing nothing but pure electricity. You have no idea how it works either.

Rice
Good for drying out your phone.

A Stop Sign
It's time to stop!

Chewing Gum
Pizza flavored. This is considered a number 14 on the menu.

Special Monocle
Has a number of properties such as X-Ray vision and true sight. Only has a limited number of charges however, and may cause meta slowdown by forcing the artist to animate the x-ray effect. Jerry thinks this might be more fitting for a tailor than a pizza delivery guy for some reason.

Duct Tape
Arguably the most overpowered item on this list. Can fix EVERYTHING!

A Secret Santa Gift
You can't seem to remember what it is yet for some weird meta reason, but you're pretty sure you'll remember soon enough. (WARNING, may or may not be useful or might not be available at all depending on what happens in the SECRET SANTA 2021 thread: https://questden.org/kusaba/questdis/res/136526.html )

Pizza bomb
A high explosive that looks, smells and weighs identical to your normal delivery box. You throw (probably) this and not the actual pizza at someone to distract them with an explosive cheesy saucy surprise.

Pizza Cutter Ver 3.6.0
A very sharp electric pizza cutter that cuts through tough surfaces. Turn it on, and it spins like a buzzsaw. Not recommended to be used for cutting pizza, as it will cut through the pizza stone. Can be used as a weapon.

A slice of pizza from a week or so ago in a DINNERWARE TIME CAPSULE
Can be used to bribe your way out of a SITUATION or PROBLEM. Can also be used to give to HARMON or VINCENT to guarantee their help, especially if it is WEED PIZZA (That said, when you use this item, please specify what topping you want to have on it such as PEPPERONI, BACON, WEED, etc.) the DINNERWARE TIME CAPSULE kept it WARM (but not HOT)

Tasty Decoy Cardboard Pizza
It is a cardboard pizza that you put over your ordinary pizza. It's made of 100% organic cardboard, not that it matters. Strangely enough the first bite ALWAYS tastes and FEELS like pizza, but contains no nutritional value. Every bite after that tastes like cardboard, but this would prove useful if you're fighting off a swarm of pizza lovers

Sunstone
Jerry stole this from the plush world. Can be used to heat up the pizza if it gets too cold (in the event someone opens the pizza box and lets out some of the heat), or heat up other things.

Pizzachu
A rare pizza-eating rodent made of sapient stained glass. You can feed it stale crumbs, causing it to perform all kinds of tricks. Its main purpose is to act as a blinder against muggers.

[Censored] Ferret
In exchange for sugar-glazed pizza bites, this fuzzy contortionist will turn itself into a grappling hook with an increased chance to succeed and dodge.

The County's Smallest Cowty
A cow the size of your hand, capable of re-absorbing mass from an alternate dimension when it is fed soda. Can be used as a roadblock or a stampede.

Stale Leftovers
Your supply of expired foodstuffs from the Pizzaria. You can feed these to your animal companions in exchange for their help. Be warned - feeding a companion too many times during the quest will cause them to become ravenous, demanding more food until they become a hazard to the delivery itself. Can also be used to distract people bothering Jerry.

Ultramarine Shell
Throw it and it hits the person at the front of the line! Any line!

WebMovie Account Password
The corporate account used for streaming movies! For use only when bored.

Ice Dream
An ice sculpture in the shape of an ice cream cone. Throw it on any street to turn that road into the BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS.

Illegal Powdered Donut
a mini powdered donut you've been saving. The sugar content is actually illegal in 17 different countries and consuming it will, for the briefest of moments, give you prescience, but after about [1 Update] you will suffer from an extreme crash of euphoria and a sugar coma, you've been holding into this for a special day, or for when you have a buddy to watch over you.

Pizza Ball
It's a ball textured like a Pizza, it bounces like a normal dodgeball, smells like a pizza, but has no nutritional value and deflates when bitten. Jerry used this as a weapon as it's technically not one and every time he’d say it's catchphrase "ITS TIME TO DELIVER A PIZZA-BALL" it returns to his hand by the next update.

A Lyluk brand SLUSHEE
A slushee of dubious origin that when drunk improves some of your stats for a few updates. Pizza flavored. (Gives Jerry +2 points for HELP in a SITUATION.) WARNING: HAS A 20% CHANCE TO EITHER MAKE JERRY SHITTY, OR TURN HIM INTO A LYLUK. (not recommended for Hippos.) [/b]

Again, Please vote using the poll linked here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeYTG0_I_VuBLUiQvuPabT9lwYw1oLHINg21QBJ61WSIZHUBg/viewform?usp=sf_link
As far as what to suggest here on Questden… hmm… I dunno, Maybe you can try to convince others to pick a certain item, or maybe you can write how Jerry is feeling or what he is thinking currently.

I would like to make a suggestion to all suggestors to avoid repetition. Pick the pizza in tupperware if you were going to pick the cardboard pizza.

They're pretty similar, and I can see people voting for both. That wouldn't really be a problem at all, but for the sake of variety I'm gonna push for everyone to pick one and abandon the other.

No specific reason for the leftover pizza over cardboard, other than it feels more helpful to me. Please feel free to disagree and tell me why I'm wrong and fat in your own suggestions.

Other than that pick whatever y'all like best, too many good options I won't even start to try and influence you otherwise.

>>1017843
I think you're wrong because the cardboard pizza was my suggestion and I am biased.

But I have submitted my choices.

I voted!

1/4 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/01/10(Mon)03:04 No. 1020157 ID: e51896
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Indecision plagues Jerry’s mind as his eyes explores through the items in front of him, he really doesn’t want his pizza delivery position to be taken from him and get stuck in a mascot costume all day every day, so he’s taking longer than usual and being extra considerate of each and every item in front of him.

He looks over at the stuffie plush doll of MI MARY the Fur-kin poodle that he put away along with the SUNSTONE and PURR FECKT’S PURSE from his previous delivery after opening this closet earlier and reminisces about what happened during the previous delivery.

Mary was his campaign manager after Purr Feckt and P.I. Zzander sent him to some kind of plush world. The two met during the second day of Jerry’s struggling political campaign and the poodle was insistent in wanting to help Jerry since he disagreed with one party, and got fired from another for not going with their corrupt cheating. Jerry was the only one he had because otherwise, he would have had to return alone to his old dying town jobless. He may have been a pushover that has no chance to survive in politics, but with his analytical knowledge of probability of certain items’ effectiveness, and Jerry’s knowledge of making the very pizzas he hated, they were able to determine where and when to strike certain hotspots to win audience over with their addicting cookie pizzas in the shadows while the other political parties were busy SABOTAGING each other with slander, cheating, spying, and even murdering at one point. though none of that compares to the first day he was there when he could have sworn he saw an audience member caught on fire… but then maybe he was seeing things as when he looked again, they were gone

By the time the other political parties realized how much of a threat Jerry’s addicting cookie pizza was, it was already too late and Jerry won with a huge upset win with the audience. Apparently, everyone was sick of all the lies, corruption, and unrealistic promises the other political parties were doing that they decided to stick to Jerry’s simple promise of bringing dessert pizzas to the town of FLUFFSENUFFS if he won.

When it came time for Jerry to use his newly gained power to leave after winning, Mary rushed in crying after him through the portal back to his world at the last moment as he had nowhere else to go, and became a lifeless doll upon stepping into Crust City…

Jerry assumes that maybe since he was turned into doll to fit into the plush world, Mary in turn became lifeless to fit with his world. It really is a shame. If he was still alive, he would probably be able to analyze the effectiveness of each item in the closet for his journey. Instead, all Mary can do is drift around quietly in the empty space of the closet, alone with all the other items as his eyes slowly opens and his arms flail around trying to swim towards Jerry… wait, what?

Mary: Bosssssss!

To Jerry’s surprise, Mary swims out of the closet, and tumbles onto the floor. He’s alive???

Mary: BORK! Owww… Boss… I’m so glad to see you… Wha- what happened, boss?
Mary: Umm… let’s see… The last thing I remembered, you won the election, got that magic power, people were expecting you to use it to make more cookie pizzas…
Mary: but instead you threw some kind of secret cook book on the floor, opened a portal, gave a rude hand gestor and yelled something along the lines of ‘later suckers’ and took the portal out
Mary: and then I ran in after you crying as the portal was shrinking, blinded by all the tears in my eyes, calling out to you not to leave me…
Mary: and then… and then… bosssss

Mary can’t finish his sentence as he has tears dripping from his eyes, almost about to break down crying in relief to see Jerry again. Jerry sighs in annoyance and tells him he must have fainted after going through the portal in fear and from so much emotion, and tells him to snap outta it and stop acting like a lost puppy, because he’s been found or something like that.

Mary: haaaaah… same ol’ Jerry. I’m so relieved I didn’t lose you forever…
Mary:… You… look different… like, you’re not made of the same kind of things that Cloth-kins are made of… In fact, everything looks different here, so much materials I’ve never seen before!
Mary: What is this place? It’s… colorful!

Jerry explains that this is the world he came from, and they’re in Crust City.

Mary: Wow… This is going to take getting used to, boss.
Mary: But… I don’t think I want to return to my world
Mary: I was kind of a lonely nobody back there, hoping to make a living after leaving my dying town, but I just couldn’t handle it.
Mary: nowhere to go, nobody to return to…
Mary: Well, there is my sister, buuuuuuut…
Mary: She’s an alcoholic bitch who emotionally abused me.
Mary: Less said about her, the better.
Mary: Fluff her!

Jerry explains that’s probably for the best as he doesn’t seem to have that magic power that got him back home upon returning anymore, and that he’d probably have to ask Purr Feckt to get the coordinates back to his universe if he wanted to return which will be more of a headache than it’s worth.

Mary: That’s okay, boss! I found my purpose here, being your assistant!

Jerry tells him to stop being cheesy and he didn’t agree to this arrangement, but he can tag along and help analyze situations and items he guesses… as long as he puts on the trousers in the closet. He explains to Mary that he has fluffy hair in a weird spot, and although his plush species has nothing there that it’s covering, it’s still fuckin’ weird as shit and wants him to put some damn pants on so he can stop looking at them.

Mary: You’re looking at my crotch?

Jerry angrily tells him to stop twisting his words, his society has a mandatory clothing rule for most species, and he should put some damn pants on, and wait outside the front door for him

Mary: Yes boss! Right away! Though, I don’t see what’s so weird about having hair there. Nobody had a problem with that before…

Mary takes the pants and skips off. Jerry frustratingly calls out to him to put them on before heading out.

SECRET CHARACTER UNLOCKED! MI MARY HAS JOINED THEPIZZA PARTY!
-He has a knack for figuring out the probability of certain outcomes for each item. At the end of each update during a SITUATION, he will analyze all of Jerry’s items and inform Jerry how many POINTS will be added to the HELP or SABOTAGE dice rolls.

-He has a powerful BITE that is worse than his bark… though it’ll take a lot for him to join in a fight or get aggressive because he’s a good boi.

-Has really good hearing and smelling

-Even though Jerry’s HAMMERSPACIAL DIMENSION and the INTERDIMENSIONAL CLOSET does not accept living things, Mary being a STUFFIE (a living plush doll) tricks them into thinking he’s an item for some reason, and can be put inside if Jerry has a free space.

-Mary doesn’t have much of anything to store items with, but he carries his clipboard wherever he goes, and can use his trousers to fit some small things in his pockets.

-Jerry will need to convince Purr Feckt to give him the coordinates to Mary’s world if he wants to send him back home… though he doesn’t seem to want to go back currently.

Message from PEA: Character design and concept for Mi Mary was created by Himitsu https://questden.org/wiki/Himitsu
Concept for Stuffies and the plush world by EDMANGO’s and Tippler’s quest Plush Quest https://questden.org/wiki/Plushquest

2/4 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/01/10(Mon)03:05 No. 1020158 ID: e51896
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With Mary out of the way, and feeling a bit more confident Jerry decides to pick up the following items:

PIZZA BOMB
STALE LEFTOVERS
PURR FECKT’S PURSE
ILLEGAL POWDERED DONUT
TASTY DECOY CARDBOARD PIZZA

Jerry is quite satisfied with his decision and shuts the closet.

Message from PEA: there was 3 votes for two items (the purse and the decoy pizza) and a 8-way tie for the rest of the items with two votes, so I decided to throw you all a bone and make one of the items (the poodle plus) an unlocked secret character instead of an item (and gave him pants, you’re welcome), and chose one item from each suggester who got an item with 2 votes.

3/4 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/01/10(Mon)03:06 No. 1020159 ID: e51896
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Next, Jerry heads over to the kitchen to do a quality check on the pizza that his uncle just cooked… or so he tells his uncle. In reality, he’s taking the time to summon a spirit of an old friend from the pizza for help. As soon as Jerry grabs the pizza out of the oven and places it in the box, steam floats upwards towards the ceiling and takes the form of a creature’s spirit.

This is ANTONIO DEVARARA, the weird-pink-cyclopes-elephant-ghost-whatever-thing. He was the delivery guy that Gerbera replaced and was worked to the bone by uncle Ricardo. One day after he finished a very difficult delivery, he got a heart attack after not receiving a tip to pay off the 10 ₵A$H he owed his friend Jerry, and was punished by some otherworldly beings for not paying off his debts before dying. He was ordered to make up for the ₵A$H he owes Jerry by becoming his GAURDIAN SPIRIT as the SPIRIT OF LEFTOVER PIZZA before he can leave for the afterlife. Since then, Antonio unenthusiastically helps Jerry out of any SITUATION he finds himself in with the hope that one day, he’ll fulfill enough good deeds to make up for the debt he owes Jerry and be allowed into the afterlife. he regrets not buying life insurance.

Antonio upon being summoned tiredly stares at Jerry

Antonio: Let me guess… another pizza delivery? Right after that previous BS delivery

Jerry nods

Antonio: Fine, whatever… lets me fulfill more good deeds I owe you anyways… But just once, couldn’t you, like, summon me for normal tasks?
Antonio: like cooking you a meal?
Antonio: finding the tv remote?
Antonio: hell, even clean the public restroom?
Antonio: instead of dealing with this stupid city’s shit?
Antonio: or how about just summon me for a movie night or something worth my while for once?

Jerry reminds Antonio that he can only summon Antonio from the steam of a pizza, and he’d rather not waste several updates cooking a pizza just to fulfill something that can finish himself in a few updates.

Antonio: Right, right… *sigh* I just wish I knew how many good deeds are worth 10 ₵A$H so I can get the fuck out of this miserable world.

Jerry explains he doesn’t know, but theorizes that maybe because it took so long to pay off the 10 ₵A$H, it has been accruing interest?

Antonio: *sigh* Fucking hell, that better not be the case.
Antonio: That previous delivery was bullshit and should have been worth 100 ₵A$H at the very least.
Antonio: You know what, forget it.
Antonio: Complaining about it isn’t going to solve it.
Antonio: I guess I’ll help.
Antonio: What choice do I have?
Antonio: Just make sure the problem you have me solve is worth a lot of good deeds.

ANTONIO DEVARARA, THE SPIRIT OF LEFTOVER PIZZA HAS JOINED THE PIZZA PARTY!

- He has spiritual powers that is powered by pizza, and can perform pizza related magic

- his help will add 7 points to the HELP dice rolls, no matter the circumstances.

- Won’t guarantee that it’ll get rid of major ASSHOLES Jerry will find in the second section of the pizza delivery, but will still add 7 points the HELP dice rolls

-BE WARNED! Opening the pizza box to summon him will cause the pizza’s temperature to lower. The Pizza’s temperature will go from hot, to warm, to cold, to freezing. Jerry can maintain temperature for one turn by giving Antonio STALE LEFTOVERS to power him up.

- There are ways to heat up the pizza if its temperature drops

- the lower the temperature is, the lower the customer’s satisfaction will be and will affect how well Jerry’s performance will be in Jerry’s uncle’s eyes.

Message from PEA: Character design and concept for Antonio Devarara was created by Absurdity DeVoid https://questden.org/wiki/Boris_Calija[/i]

Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/01/10(Mon)03:13 No. 1020161 ID: e51896
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Jerry and Antonio’s discussion is cut short as Jerry’s sleeve is being tugged by some leaves. Jerry slams the pizza box shut, which causes Antonio to sink rapidly into the pizza box, with the lid of the box slamming against his head on his way in.

Antonio: ow…

Jerry glares over to where the leaves are coming from, and finds that they are predictably attached to Gerbera.

Gerbera: Hi Jerry, Hi!
Gerbera: Talking to your imaginary friend again?

Jerry forgot that he’s the only one who can see and hear Antonio unless he uses his pizza power to let him be temporarily seen in a physical form. He can’t believe that smug flower caught him talking to himself in their eyes again.
Gerbera: Pretty cool Jerry, I got an imaginary friend too, one that is physical and that you can see! a little toy of myself! Hahahaha!

Great, now not only Gerbera is patronizing Jerry by showing off an imaginary friend that not only actually has a physical form, is not only better than Jerry’s supposed imaginary friend, but it LOOKS LIKE THEM TOO! Of course, their imaginary friend would be one that looks like themself! Seriously, who would make a toy based off of Gerbera? Jerry wonders why can’t Gerbera go one day not trying to prove they’re better than Jerry in every way?

Antonio: I’m not imaginary, you idiot…

Jerry tells Gerbera to get to the point and asks why they’re here, shouldn’t they be dancing, or dealing with that custardme… Custard named Mer, or be finding a successor to be their replacement to advertise as “The ZA”?

Gerbera: OH! Don’t worry about all that!
Gerbera: Mer got their deep-dish pizza and is bathing in it!
Gerbera: also unrelated, Ricardo said they’re adding a new custard deep-dish pizza on the menu
Gerbera: Also Ricardo told me he already found a replacement for me for when I become the delivery person!
Gerbera: So I had to cancel that dancing competition I set up for the 5 interested customers

Wait, Gerbera actually found some people willing to humiliate themselves in a pizza costume?!

Gerbera: And guess what!
Gerbera: Ricardo said you’re my replacement!
Gerbera: That’s wonderful!
Gerbera: You took acting classes in college, so you should be a pro at this, my bud!
Gerbera: I’m so happy for you, you’re going to have a lot of fun, I’m sure.

Okay, now Gerbera is just making fun of him at this point, Jerry thinks to himself. How dare they compare his sophisticated acting skills he learned from college to dancing like a buffoon in a pizza costume. Jerry says if that’s all Gerbera wanted to say, that they should get back to work.

Gerbera: But I’m on lunch break, my bud!
Gerbera: Well, okay, technically I am at lunch break
Gerbera: But I’m a flower. I just photosynthesize, so it’s more of a break really!
Gerbera: So I figured because I don’t need to eat…
Gerbera: and since I’m going to be a pizza delivery flower…
Gerbera: I figured I should get some hands-on experience by going with you on your delivery route!
Gerbera: what do you say, bud? May I come with you, please? I could really use the training!

Aw, hell no! Jerry really doesn’t like the idea of training someone who is about to replace him, especially not GERBERA OF ALL PEOPLE! What if their smugness makes them try to take all the glory for Jerry’s hard work for themselves when the delivery is over?

But then again, what if Gerbera goes on this pizza delivery journey with Jerry and after seeing the PROBLEMS Jerry encounters first hand, they decide to quit and go back to dancing in the costume?

Jerry decides to list the pros and cons of Gerbera joining the PIZZA PARTY:

Pros:
- they will be able to HELP Jerry out of SITUATION
- they might find out their not cut out for this if they go through enough PROBLEMS, possibly giving Jerry a higher chance to keep his job in delivering pizza.

Cons:
- It’ll be harder to recruit Harmon the cat, and Vincent in the second section if Gerbera is in the PIZZA PARTY as Jerry has told them how terrible Gerbera is
- Gerbera will probably take all the credit for delivering the pizza, making them look better than Jerry in Ricardo’s eyes

Jerry is currently split on the decision to let Gerbera join or not. What do you all think, should Gerbera join, or not?
IMPORTANT PLZ READ: If you want to vote to have them join, please come up with a PRO for having them in the PIZZA PARTY likewise, if you don’t want Gerbera to join, please come up with a CON. YOUR VOTE WILL NOT BE COUNTED IF YOU DON’T LIST A PRO OR A CON. ALSO, IT CANNOT BE THE SAME LISTED HERE, OR WHAT SOMEBODY ELSE CAME UP WITH IN THE SUGGESTIONS.

Holy shit yes. Absolutely bring Gerbera, they don't know what they're fucking getting into. They don't know what hell awaits them in every delivery.

PRO: Gerbera can vouch for Jerry on whatever bullshit encumbers them when they get back to Ricardo, making it look even more amazing if Jerry succeeds the delivery

YES, Pro: Gerb can finally understand that JERRY is actually CURSED when making deliveries, it's not really his fault that the universe conspires against him.

or alt Pro: Jerry will probably hate Gerbera no matter what, but maybe they can learn to empathize with each other and he can get Gerb to understand that Jerry just isn't into his enthusiasm and finds it pedantic or insulting

Fuck yes we're bringing flower boy.

So Mary doesn't want to go back to his own world, well ask if he would like to go to the blender instead? That isn't right, Jerry is stuck with him so a more fitting place would be the microwave. As for Gerbera, I would advise against him coming along. He still has optimism and a smile on his face it would be monstrous to steal that from him, also he might get a cut of your pay for doing this, or worse you might owe him a favor for doing this.

NOPE. He's liable to both sabotage you AND take credit for success!

FLOWER POWER! Bring them!

PRO: Gerb has potential for many plant-based puns, my bud. That and their massive ego is so dense it can curve bullets, or any other projectile for that matter.

Pro: you can use Gerbera as a human shield. Flower shield in this case

1/4 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/01/17(Mon)01:49 No. 1020580 ID: e51896
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UPDATE 1

Jerry tries desperately to think of a lot of cons not to bring Gerbera. But for some reason, even though he can think of a couple more reasons why he shouldn’t bring the flower, his thoughts are betraying him, urging him to take Gerbera along with multiple pros loudly proclaiming good reasons for Gerbera help. Jerry relents, but takes solace in knowing that one of the pros being that he can use Gerbera as a shield if it comes to it.

He sighs and tells Gerbera to install the sidecar on the scooter outside, and wait for him.

Gerbera: REALLY! AW YEAH!
Gerbera: This is gonna be fun! We can tell stories, take in the sights of CRUST CITY!
Gerbera: And bring joy to our customer’s face!
Gerbera: Thanks sooooooo much Jerry. I’ll be waiting outside!
Gerbera: Don’t take too long talking to your imaginary friend, bud!

As Gerbera runs out, Jerry calls out to Gerbera to take some items from the closet, but it’s too late, Gerbera is already rushing out of the kitchen and out the building. Jerry sighs again and already regrets his decision.

Jerry has reluctantly let Gerbera has joined the PIZZA PARTY

- They are annoying and smug

- Will come up with some ideas now and then (though take their advice with a grain of salt)(advice will not add extra points to HELP or SABOTAGE Jerry)

- may or may not help Jerry depending on the circumstances

- They’ll be a witness to whatever happens to Jerry during the pizza delivery

- It will be harder to recruit Harmon and Vincent with Gerbera in the PIZZA PARTY

Has the following items

HAMMERSPACIAL DIMENSION:

- GERBERA DOLL: Just a toy of themself that they got from the secret santa event. Has a pullstring that talks about how great they are, and even sings!

- RADIO: Gerbera uses this mainly to dance in they’re costume.

- THE ZA COSTUME: Dress up as ’s mascot!

- MACE: Got it from working a second job as a royal guard in another quest. Good for bonking, hitting home runs, and may cause clothing damage for some reason. Gerbera would rather only use it if their life is in danger and will otherwise take a really good reason to attack someone with it to protect the pizza.

- A picture of SNOWPEA: It depicts a female bee. Gerbera takes this wherever they go, feeling that a little bit of her is with them cheering them on.

POCKET:

-Wallet (contains their bank card, drivers license, insurance card, 50 ₵A$H, their business card)

- keys to their home

- smart phone

Jerry hears Antonio's voice from inside the pizza box

Antonio: are they gone yet?
Antonio: Just so you know, my powers will only work as long as only you hold the pizza box, or the pizza. It will not work if anybody else holds it, even if you’re nearby.

Jerry says Antonio doesn’t have to come up with an excuse to not to let Gerbera hold the pizza box. He completely understands.

…

Jerry leaves the building with the pizza, and finds Gerbera has already set up the sidecar on the scooter, and seems to be playing with some kind of plush toy… wait a minute… IT’S MI MARY!

Gerbera: Wow! This toy is probably the most interactive I’ve ever seen!
Mary: Uhhh, please put me down… I’m supposed to be waiting for Jerry.
Mary: errr… that is, if you want? Sorry for being bossy.
Gerbera: Whoa! She’s programed to know certain people?! what a technologically advanced toy this is!
Gerbera: This one must belong to Jerry. I didn’t even know he was into toys.
Mary: Umm… oh my…
Mary: N… not to rudely call you out for your mistakes, I understand you didn’t mean to…
Mary: but I actually identify as male… but I understand if you want to call me female Mr. giant flower
Gerbera: and I’m not male… nor female!
Mary: s… sorry. I should also point out I’m not a toy,
Mary: I’m actually a stuffed animal, a fur-kin…
Gerbera: Stuffed animal, toy… same thing!
Mary: And umm… wait, did you say that I belong to Jerry?
Mary: Wow…
Mary: Imagine that…
Mary: NO WAIT! He is my boss! And I need to wait for him!
Gerbera: Ah, don’t worry about that, he is my bud! and he should be on his way. I’ll return you to him when he gets here.
Gerbera: A friend of Jerry is a friend of mine!
Mary: Oh, you’re friends… umm… okay… I guess I can wait here with you then…
Gerbera: Ha ha ha! This toy is so fluffy and adorable, I just want to hug and cuddle it!
Mary: H-h-h-hugs! Cuddles?! Uhhh, wait, hold on! W… we just met!
Mary: Shouldn’t we, like, umm… get to know each other or something?!
Mary: At least go on a date before we do something so lewd?
Gerbera: Uh… wait, what?

Jerry doesn’t know why he let this go on for this long, so he walks up to Gerbera and Mary, and gives a cough to get their attention

Gerbera: Hi, Jerry! Hi! You dropped your doll!
Mary: Boss! Thank goodness.
Mary: Is everyone in your world giants… now that I realize it, you’re giant too…
Mary: I had to wait for somebody to open the door to leave since I had trouble pulling the door, I was too small

Jerry gives Gerbera a quick rundown about who and what Mary is, and where he came from.

Gerbera: OH! So sorry, Mary. I thought you were a toy…
Gerbera: All object people who are plushies in our world are about our size, and I confused you for a toy considering how small you were.
Mary: s… so mean…
Mary: but it makes me wonder why I didn’t retain my size after coming here…
Mary: or did I shrink upon coming here?
Mary: or did Jerry grow?

Jerry theorizes that maybe traveling between his world and Mary’s world, the universes makes them take a form that is most suitable for the environment they’re in. He also is relieved that the trousers from the closet Mary is wearing is a one size fits all, able to adjust to Mary's small size

Mary: oh… so confusing.
Mary: So what are we doing, boss? You told me to wait outside, but didn’t tell me what we’re doing.
Gerbera: We’re delivering a pizza from our restaurant to a customer!
Mary: OH! One of those giant cookie pizzas? I’ll help with the best of my abilities!

Jerry says it’s not exactly the kind of pizza he’s thinking of, but to not worry too much about it. He puts on his helmet, starts up the moped and drives off.

2/4 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/01/17(Mon)01:50 No. 1020582 ID: e51896
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The drive so far is pretty normal. There is some traffic, but that’s to be expected for the start of RUSH HOUR. Jerry is sure the traffic will pick up even more later.

Mary is amazed by Jerry’s moped as he has never seen, let alone ridden on one before. Jerry can tell that Mary is at a loss for words on the new sights he is seeing that isn’t in his world. His world isn’t as technologically advanced as Jerry’s, and doesn’t even have the same high quality materials that Jerry’s world has. he can see Mary’s spark of wonder in his eyes. Before too long, curiosity overtakes Mary and he begins asking a lot of questions about Jerry’s world. Thankfully Gerbera was there to explain things to Mary and how things work so Jerry can focus on driving the moped.

The drive brings them to EXTRA CHEDDAR PARK… or it would have… if it weren’t for an annoying WILD MOTHER GOOSE with her offspring crossing the road! Some jerk in a car is also pretty close behind Jerry, so he can’t move the moped out and make a detour.

Mary: Whoa! PAPERLINGS
Gerbera: PAPERLINGS? Those are cute little geese! What’s a paperling?
Mary: Oh, sorry… they’re so wildlike, they reminded me of paperlings…
Mary: they’re from my world and are made of paper, shaped kind of like us fur-kin, but much wilder…
Gerbera: OH! You mean like Origami? I can make something like that, one that flies!

Jerry explains to Gerbera that paper airplanes are not animals.

Gerbera: they’re still considered origami!

The mother goose hisses as it walks by.

Gerbera: awwe, look at the cute little baby geese!
Gerbera: Lets wait for them to cross!
Mary: huh? I thought we were going to hunt them!
Gerbera: Noooooo! Don’t hurt the little guys!

Jerry rolls his eyes at this and decides to just wait for them to pass.

…
…
…

3/4 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/01/17(Mon)01:51 No. 1020583 ID: e51896
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4/4 Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/01/17(Mon)01:52 No. 1020585 ID: e51896
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WTF!?! Well It’s been 30 minutes (but thankfully not 30 updates), and they’re still passing by… just how many eggs did this mother goose lay?



Gerbera is still watching the geese with fondness while Mary had fallen asleep. Jerry had enough and decides to get everyone’s attention. He explains that it seems like they are in a SITUATION, and they’ll need to find a way out of this situation before it becomes a PROBLEM

Gerbera: I propose we wait. They’re only baby geese, let’s be polite and wait for all of them to pass!
Gerbera: So cute!
Mary: I don’t know, we’ve been waiting for a long time already, it feels like there is no end in sight.
Mary: And they do look delicious…
Gerbera: What?! Come on…

Jerry looks towards where the baby geese is coming from, and confirms that the line is just not ending. It’s decided that they’ll need to find a way to get past the geese, while considering the car behind them is too close to turn around and make a detour.

Mary asks to be let off the moped and Gerbera drops him gently onto the street. He then takes out his clipboard, looks through Jerry’s items, and does some calculations and measurements with his arms and hands. He was going to look through Gerbera’s items, but they refused stating he didn’t want to take part in disturbing the geese.

Mary: hmm…
Mary: Okay!
Mary: looking through our items, I think I got a calculation on how effective each item will be if you decide to use one to help us through.
Mary: otherwise, you can save them for something else. I’m sure the items we have could be used against something much worse than the geese here honestly

Gerbera: Nope. Not gonna have a part in this! I’d rather you leave them alone and be patient[/b]

YOU ARE NOW IN YOUR FIRST OFFICIAL SITUATION. Lets go over how this works one more time as a refresher:

- During that SITUATION, suggesters can either vote to HELP Jerry out of the SITUATION, and suggest how he can get out of the situation, or suggesters can vote to SABOTAGE the situation, and suggest how he’ll be SABOTAGED.

- Even if you cast your vote to HELP Jerry, you are allowed to also suggest an idea to SABOTAGE, just in case your HELP vote did not win (though it will not be counted as a SABOTAGE vote).

- likewise, even if you cast your vote to SABOTAGE Jerry, you can also suggest an idea on how to HELP Jerry in case your SABOTAGE vote did not win (though it will not be counted as a HELP vote).

- You cannot suggest an idea on how to kill Jerry unless otherwise stated

-after enough time have passed, I will tally up the votes and add those numbers to two 6-sided dices, one dice for HELPING Jerry, and another for SABOTAGING Jerry. The dice with the highest number + votes, wins.

- for example, if HELP gets 5 votes, and SABOTAGE gets 3, I will roll a D6 + 5votes for Help, and roll a D6 + 3votes for SABOTAGE, and the highest number will determine if Jerry gets out of a SITUATION, or if the SITUATION becomes a PROBLEM, and will pick suggesters’ ideas as to how Jerry will get out of the SITUATION, or how he ends up in a PROBLEM

- When SABOTAGE wins, the SITUATION becomes a PROBLEM. When this occurs, Jerry will have to waste one update trying to get out of the PROBLEM.

- Sometimes, another SITUATION can occur while Jerry is having a PROBLEM, in which another vote will occur where he can escape the PROBLEM and continue on his way to his destination, or have another UPDATE wasted.

-NEW RULE: Using and item will add more than one point to a help or sabotage. Someone like Mary will let you know the number of points each item will give for HELP and SABOTAGE by using it a certain way

-NEW RULE: If you have an idea of how to use an item different from what Mary thought up, you will still get extra points for using an item, though you won’t know how many points. Be creative.

- NEW RULE: Antonio the spirit of leftover pizza can help by opening the pizza box to summon him for a guarantee of 7 points to the HELP score, but it will lower the temperature of the pizza going from HOT to WARM to COLD to FREEZING. It is possible to maintain heat by giving Antonio leftovers

Options

- HELP JERRY (come up with an idea how if you vote this. You can also write up a SABOTAGE idea in case HELP loses)

- SABOTAGE JERRY (Come up with an idea how if you vote this. You can also write up a HELP idea in case SABOTAGE loses)

-Use an Item:

Gerbera: sorry, I support the geese. I’m not letting you use my items
(it might take convincing to get Gerbera to cooperate.)

1. PIZZA BOMB
Mary: hmmm… well it might clear a path, maybe scare the geese away, or blow them out of the way… but we’d be pretty close to the explosion and it’ll likely ruin the Moped, and ruin the vehicle of the person behind us, making them pretty mad.
HELP: 2 SABOTAGE: 5

2. STALE LEFTOVERS
Mary: We can probably distract the oncoming baby geese by dropping a bunch of leftovers on the floor… Theres not a lot to distract them for long though
Mary: you might also want to save the leftovers for negotiations.
Antonio: you could probably save the leftovers for me and for later if you want my help and maintain the heat of the pizza
HELP: 3

3. PURR FECKT’S PURSE
Mary: I think maybe there is some perfume that the geese won’t like the smell of and will repel them… but… what if there is something the geese actually get attracted to? I don’t know your species real well, or your perfumes, so I’m just guessing off of my own knowledge about PAPERLING…
Mary: I also have a bad feeling about using her purse… Something tells me something real good might happen if we return it to her without using it beforehand.
HELP: 5 SABOTAGE: 2

4. ILLEGAL POWDERED DONUT
Mary:If you eat this, You might be able to use its prescience to know exactly when to drive forward quickly through a gap in the line without harming anyone…
Mary: Just remember you’ll crash into a sugar coma in the next UPDATE
HELP: 5

5. Tasty Decoy Cardboard Pizza
Mary: This should be able to distract the geese long enough for you to pass. Though maybe it will be better to use it to trick someone who is more of a threat to your life or pizza?
HELP: 5

Mary: I don’t really know how the items in your pocket will help currently. (wallet, smart phone, notebook paper, moped keys, lighter) Sorry.

-Get Antonio’s help (7 HELP POINTS) (Lower Pizza Temperature if you don’t give him STALE LEFTOVERS)

Antonio: Really? You’re considering to use my help… on some geese? I guess I could do that, but don’t you think I’m more suited for more harder serious SITUATIONS?

Message from PEA: Finally, the countdown begins. I hope you'll all have fun with this. Be creative!

I just want to say, do NOT worry about failing to deliver the pizza. No matter what happens, I aim to make the ending and epilogue as satisfying as it can be so you won't have to worry about failure. This quest is more about the journey than the destination.