Brom 2017/10/03(Tue)20:01 No. 834335 ID: f30be2
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This is Strela Bandara Leonial, a sorceress of great skill.
She used to be known as Strela Leonial. That was before her arranged marriage.
Her new name's a little chaotic, but she likes the way it feels on her tongue. She feels the same way about her new husband.

Sorcerers and sorceresses like Strela Bandara Leonial are capable of incredible feats of magic, for unfortunate prices.
The current price is that she's a big stupid monkey.

Brom 2017/10/03(Tue)20:01 No. 834336 ID: f30be2
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The man waving her own ass at her is Bruco Leonial Bandara, her husband, fellow sorcerer, and the big stupid monkey in question.
He's currently inside of her, and not in the way she joys in.

A particularly meddlesome spirit has decreed that they swap bodies for access to his service and power.

That power is currently leading them across the sky on a Corsair fly-boat, in the company of two vicious corsair spearmen called Growen and Stryza.
They are on the way to find and murder a man, for a different and less thaumaturgical pushy and powerful asshole: the captain-queen of the Tyrant Star, largest and deadliest vessel in the skies of Daranarache.

Any questions?

Looking good there girl?

How goes the quest to save the world from destruction?

Tell him if he keeps waving that thing at you you're gonna slap it.

>>834339
And then do it anyways! XD

You know where you're ticklish. Use that to your advantage.

Oh, you've got to tell us if the FLYING KICKU worked!

Any outstanding sorcerer debts/requirements to worry about?

Any particular advantages or resources at the moment?

Keep in mind, nobody can know you've swapped bodies.

also how well can the Bruc strut your stuff? Where's that grave we're supposed to be robbing?

We know who we're killing for, but not why, or who, for those of us who are new to this thing. ETA? Plan of attack? Favorite type of fruit?

What are our chances for binding Peregrinate as a cantrip (ideally after we've got the king in sight, but before 'officially finishing' the trip) instead of paying the balance of the deal? Growen and Stryza know more about the anatomy of these ships, so maybe start by asking them about the ship's blood chemistry, to figure out if drinking the stuff would kill you. What sort of autonomous internal defense systems are there? Spike traps, poison gas, gun turrets that a captain could operate remotely? Avoid tipping off the spirit by framing it as a mix of curiosity about logistics and paranoid preparation for the fight with the king.

>>834336
Has her ass always been that big?

This is going to be a combination of weird, stupid, and action-packed.

Let's do this.

"If you keep lording my own ass over me, I'm going to stuff your monkey with fire ants before we swap back."

Realize that you cannot control your sudden and intense boner.

Brom 2017/10/04(Wed)11:46 No. 834485 ID: 5ad0eb
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>>834361
It's not alive. It's a boat. A spirit-infested boat, but a boat. How it's flying in the first place, Strela has no idea. As far as she knows, the Corsairs have no sorcerers. It must be some kind of weird machine-secret. The boat's unarmed.

She's not sure how she could extract Peregrinate, or if that's even a good idea. Peregrinate is a considerably powerful spirit. They don't tend to go down without a serious fight.

>>834346
The couple's debt includes a trip up a mountain no more than a week after they locate ther prey. That means this mission has a timetable.

Their immediate resources are two bodies of potent and powerful sorcery, two more bodies with spears and spikes all over, and this flying boaty boat. Strela makes a mental note to take a more complete inventory when they land.

>>834349
The sorcerers are en route to assassinate the only man the Tyrant Star's captain has any reason to fear: her Ex.
He's the only one in the world with the power to control the massive, thrashing sky-leviathan she sails around on. She wants that rectified.

The plan of attack, the ETA, and the exact destination is pending. None of them are even sure where they're going at this point. The boat's being steered by a spirit that Strela's bound, with orders to carry them to the Tyrant Star King's hideout... wherever that may be. They've been flying for a whole day into night now, in varying degrees of quietude.

And her favorite fruit is the Pineapple, which Bruco just introduced her to the other day.

Brom 2017/10/04(Wed)11:47 No. 834487 ID: 5ad0eb
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>>834363
Hey YOU try going from the lean meats and roots of the Leonial tribe to the Bandaran marbled boar and fruit diet and see if YOUR rump doesn't get a little rounder.
Plus she's on her honeymoon. She has an excuse.
PLUS Bruco likes it. And now that she's looking at it, she likes it pretty well too.
She becomes aware that she's been scrutinizing her own hindquarters for a while. Bruco's stupid dick is acting up again.

>>834434
Oh, she knows. She knows very well now. How Bruco walks around with this idiotic thing all day is beyond her. And she keeps accidentally sitting on his balls.

The boat drops about a foot and Strela's stomach cartwheels to keep up with it.
"Looks like we're descending." The male Corsair, Growen's his name she thinks, peers over the boat's edge. "Nautic lands. Shit."
"What's shit 'bout Nautic lands?" Strela asks, doing her level best to effect Bruco's drawl.
"It means he's hiding near the Township of Naut." Growen smirks. "Corsairs are not welcome in the Township of Naut."

1]] Well you'd best get used to dirty looks now. Naut sounds like the perfect place to resupply, ask some questions, and find a bed for the night.
2]] Then we'll avoid it. Our business is elsewhere anyway, unless our mark is at the bar or something.
3]] Then Br--Strela and I will go into town. You stick with the boat. Not like you can run off without our spirit to guide you.

3. Get intel, lay down a bounty if you can.

>>834487
2. I'm tempted go go force some confrontations, but it sounds like news of our arrival will spread quickly in Naut and I'd rather not give our prey any warning we can avoid.

3) Bruco and Strela will go down there and receive a Naut welcome on their Naut quest.
Start speaking in the third person at all times. Convince people that this is how Bruco always talks when Bruco is serious.

2

>>834487
>"Corsairs are not welcome in the Township of Naut."
You guys are literal raiders from the sky. Is there anywhere you are welcome?

3

Brom 2017/10/04(Wed)17:30 No. 834577 ID: f30be2
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"Is there anywhere a Corsair is welcome?" Strela says, then adds a "...dude?" in hasty remembrance of the chill monkey she's supposed to be.

Growen furrows his brow in thought.
"Pirate's Peak," he says. "Infamous watering hole of the raider and the cutthroat."
"Anywhere else?"

Another concentrated pause. The boat is coasting just above the treeline now.

"The Tyrant Star," Stryza, his mate, supplies from the stern.
"That too."
"Your boat."
"Our ship."
"So you are barred from all but two establishments." Bruco tosses his head a little as he effects a haughty superiority. "How very--" His eyes dart to hers. "--ignominious."
Ignominious? Strela mouths. Bruco gives a faint shrug.

They touch down a mile out from the faint lights of Naut. Growen and Stryza stay with the sky-boat, while Bruco and Strela, still on borrowed feet, head for town.

Brom 2017/10/04(Wed)17:30 No. 834578 ID: f30be2
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Bruco's swaying his hips ridiculously as he flounces through the forest, his willowy arms waving.
"You look ridiculous," Strela says.
"This is how you walk."
"That is not how I walk."
"La la la la laaa." Bruco does a little spin. "I'm Strela the kitty cat. Ooooh I'm so graceful."

Strela scowls. Then she starts stomping through the underbrush. "I'm Bruco Bandara and I stomp everywhere. Stomp stomp stomp. Wow I smell."

Bruco giggles then gulps it back down in shock at the melodic tinkling of his laugh. Then he cracks up.
Strela tries to keep her scowl on but she can't.

"Whatever," she says. "I still won the fight."
"No you didn't. I won."
"You cheated."
"Gotta protect the twins, Strel. Lesson one of boy fights."
"You're just lucky I'm not on the rag right now, Bandara. Trying to talk to me about groinal issues."
"You were having some groinal issues on the boat, babe."
"I don't know how the fuck you're supposed to control this thing."
"Normally I just let my wife control it."
"You know..." Strela slows her stomping. "I'm not the only one who's... wondering, am I?"
Bruco slows down with her. "You ain't the only one who's wondering."
"I mean when are we gonna get the chance again?"
His hand brushes hers. "That's sorta what I've been thinking of saying..."

Brom 2017/10/04(Wed)17:32 No. 834579 ID: f30be2
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"HALT. Halt and uhhhh stop."
And Strela realizes one of the trees they were walking past isn't a tree at all, but a wooden strut, one of several holding up a spindly guard tower. Lucky for her the fellow up top must have been as shortsighted as they were, since he's scrambling to light his torch.
"Who goes there?" he calls. "And whence come you? And what purpose do you have in Naut?"

I am
1]] Bruco Bandara
2]] A Humble Tradesman
3]] Above your Paygrade
4]] None of your business
5]] ___________

From
A]] The Jungle Tribe Bandara
B]] The Tyrant Star
C]] The Township of Besh
D]] Nowhere you've heard of
E]] ___________

And I'm Here For
v]] The head of the Tyrant Star's King
w]] A night's room and board in your lovely town for my wife and myself
x]] My Honeymoon
y]] Nothing that concerns you
z]] ___________

I am a stupid monkey dude from nowhere you've heard of, dude, and I'm here for my honeymoon dude!

Add a Cowabunga for emphasis, dude.

1, A, x, and my favorite color is blue

I am Lord Above-Your-Paygrade, from Planet Shut-The-@#$%-Up, and I'm here for blood. Kindly point me in the direction of your local supervillain Mister "Shatters-The-Moon-With-His-Virile-Roar" or whatever that little prick calls himself these days, so we can leave as quickly as possible, because if we die on this forsaken road then the rest of the horde will assume hostilities and divert its mile-wide march to raid your disgusting little hamlet.

>>834579
5Ez: I am Lord Punchmaster from the Fourth Knuckle, here to punch. Come and face me in a honorable fisting duel.

2, A, X, and come on it's obviously green.

Brom 2017/10/05(Thu)20:35 No. 834776 ID: f30be2
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"Well how-DEE!

"I'm just a humble ole tradesman from the Tribe Bandara and I RECKon that my little lady here and me're here for our HONEYmoon!"

Brom 2017/10/05(Thu)20:35 No. 834777 ID: f30be2
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"...

'Kay," says the guard.

Brom 2017/10/05(Thu)20:36 No. 834778 ID: f30be2
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"Not exactly a honeymoon spot you went'n picked for yourselves but I suppose that isn't my business." The guard is walking the sorcerers through the township, crossbow loose but hefted in a generally Strela-y direction. "We got... what, we got the wardhouse where the wardens 'n the armory are, we got the butcher-tanner, we got the general store, the uhhhh--" he scratches his earhole-- "the hatcher alchemists, and we got the Greenhowler Grotto."

"What's a Greenhowler Grotto?" Strela asks.
"Waterin hole. Bar, yknow. And the duchess' house up the hill there but they don't much let folks in there. Elsewhere you have a good uhhhh honeymoon but don't be getting up to trouble. We got high towers and folks with arrows up on them, if you'll pardon my being blunt with you on account of you both look pretty dangerous."

A]] The wardhouse sounds like a good place to get info from the guards and maybe buy a weapon or two.
B]] To the butcher-tanner, for food and/or armor.
C]] To the general store! For general things!
D]] Let's go find out what the hell a hatcher alchemist is.
E]] To the Greenhowler Grotto to get an ear to the ground, a drink in the belly, and a bed for the night.
F]] The duchess will make an exception for us, I'm sure.
G]] _____________

Just go find a place to spend the night quick so you can start working on fucking your own body so hard it won't be able to walk straight.

You could turn back anytime so get going before you loose the chance!

>>834778
D because cmon see the sights a LITTLE BIT

E. The duchess might have a good lead on the king but first things first: Doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

G) Look for magic items and other hidden treasures. Because adventurer logic.

>>834778
D sounds plot relevant as always.

D) A place with alchemy going on sounds like just the sort of spot for a pair of sorcerers to find some new colleague-approximates and get some info.

Also, they might sell marital aids. Preventative supplies. Don't want to go through that bother again, do we?

Quick trip to D to figure out what's going on there and maybe pick up some contraceptive, then E and find a private room to go ape on that kitty.

D->E->F

Brom 2017/10/06(Fri)20:45 No. 834895 ID: f30be2
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The streets of Naut are dark and overgrown. Roots curl through cobbles and leaves peek from the cracks. The people are furtive and reptilian, and cloister themselves in homes as the sorcerers pass to the hatchery-alchemist. There is a smell of fresh-turned dirt in the air.

There's a light burning in the window of the hatchery-alchemist, throwing the relief of a stubby, black clad figure across the frosted windows. Strela cracks the door.

"We are CLOSE," barks the proprietress, who reclines behind a desk that's much too large for her. "GO away and return tomorrow or I make OMELET of your BROOD and SPIT in your MOUTH, you smelly LIZARD--"

Brom 2017/10/06(Fri)20:47 No. 834896 ID: f30be2
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Then the door opens the rest of the way and she gasps, bouncing to her feet, as the leatherback journal she was writing in flaps to the floor. "Honored guests WELCOME!" She's vibrating with excitement. "WELCOME to humble establishment."

"Are you not closed?" Strela asks. She can't stop Bruco's eyes from trailing down the rather dramatic neckline of the dog-woman's leathers.

"No no no we are open whole night for you or anyone else who is not from unspeakably dirty town of Naut." She squints at the copper disc hanging from Strela's (Bruco's?) chest, then her eyes get even wider. "EsPECIALLY sorcererrrrrs!" She stage-whispers this, her accent rendering it sauh-ceraaaaahs. My lord and lady you are of substance! It has been so long since I have served those of substance! Sashika is hand and foot at your service. Potions and unguents and supplies and all salutatory things for you. However I may serve."

1]] Potions? What kind of potions?
2]] I just want to know more about this place. Naut, I mean.
3]] What is this building for? What do you do here?
4]] Why are you not a lizard?
5]] You don't happen to have any kind of alchemical contraceptive here, do you?
6]] You're presuming we're sorcerers awfully quick, aren't you?
7]] Has anything unusual been happening around Naut? Tall, scary sky hermits with big noses, maybe?
8]] __________

4, 5, and 6. Maybe she can identify what's making you stick out (besides the obvious species difference) and you can tuck that away for next time.

Ok, make friends (or at least acquaintances, or at least good customers) first, only then the questions related to your mission. A guy who has people after his life is a guy who sets up informants regarding people after his life, and this lady who likes foreigners is a strong candidate. Get on her good side before taking the risk.

So first, say the guard called this a "hatcher alchemist" and ask what that means.

I suppose that counts as a variant of 3, so that, then 1, then 5, then do some business and only then move in on 2 and/or 7.

1, 3, 5, 7, 8]] Proposition the dog-woman sexually.

>>834896
8]] Is the rest of you at our service too?

Brom 2017/10/07(Sat)18:58 No. 835070 ID: f30be2
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"What is it exactly you do here?" Strela asks. "What's the building for?"

"Oh nothing of excitement and sorcerous adventure, this Sashika can tell you!" Sashika wrinkles her nose. "This is hatchery-alchemist. Here when stinking lizard people get sick I brew for them curatives. When they are hurt I create poultices. When they lay their STINKING eggs they bring to me and I incubate and embalm in special potion to ensure that they will be born hale and grow up to be big strong disgusting lizard person."

"You mentioned potions?"

"OH yes. Yes yes yes this is what I do that is of interest to such august ones as yourself. Nobody every buy them!" She laughs a barking, harsh laugh. "Ha! Ha! But Sashika brews them regardless. I get So! Bored! But it is to your benefit! Follow. Please.

Sashika leads the sorcerers through a black velvet curtain and past rows of fist-sized eggs floating in transparent liquid. They arrive in a chamber filled floor to ceiling with full, stoppered bottles.

"POTIONS!" Sashika shrieks, triumphantly. "Of every kind! Potions of rhino-strength, of chameleon-skin, of tiger-teeth, of leopard-speed! Potions to make your body float like feather or weigh five times as much! To make your breath flame! And ALL for sale to those of esteem and worth, who have USE for such things! And not just want to cure hangover for the fiftieth time!"

Strela sneaks a peek into the satchel of silver the Corsairs gave them. She and Bruco have 200 silver pieces between them. The Tribes use no money; how much of this madhouse she could buy with it she has no idea.

Brom 2017/10/07(Sat)18:58 No. 835071 ID: f30be2
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"Do you-- mmm. Do you have any potions of, er, contraception?"

"Contra--" Sashika looks at her like she's the light out of the underworld. "You are... mates?"
"Uhhhhh yes," Strela hazards.
"You are.... interracial?"
"Iiii guess," Bruco says.

Brom 2017/10/07(Sat)18:59 No. 835072 ID: f30be2
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"WELL." Sashika remembers her balance. "Such things are far from the mind of a powerful young single alchemist when she is so busy being essential cornerstone of community. And such potions tend to be tricky to craft and quick to lose potency... but oh! perhaps ever-prepared little Sashika has one sitting around somewhere. I will look."

Brom 2017/10/07(Sat)18:59 No. 835074 ID: f30be2
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She makes a beeline for a low shelf to her left, makes a big show of looking, then immediately grabs a bottle and practically gallops back.
"The Breath of Love." She places it on a low table. "An inhaled vapor. Not ONLY will it prevent little varmint in nine months, it prevents transfer of disease, promotes endurance, is powerful aphrodisiac, and makes the seed of a man taste of lavender." Laven-daaaah. "Why with such magic in your belly, gracious lord, you would be half monkey and half stallion! One imagines you could even pleasure two women! Or more of course!! Ha Ha Ha!! Well one imagines one could imagine such things. I am a professional alchemist." She pushes the bottle across the table. "Yours, gracious lord and lady, for fifty pieces of silver."

1]] Fifty it is.
2]] Fifty silvers for one potion? C'mon. That's probably way too much I think.
3]] I think we're good, actually. Though that was an enthusiastic pitch.
4]] To be honest, I'm more interested in one of those other potions you mentioned. I'd like to peruse your more utilitarian stock.
5]] Actually... I think we'll be on our way.
6]] ___________

>>835074
>One imagines you could even pleasure two women
She is IMPLYING IMPLICATIONS of a THREESOME.

>>835074
2, try to haggle a bit. Maybe if it had more than one dose in the bottle it could be worth it.

Could get a speed potion too maybe. Speed wins fights.

Chameleon skin sounds handy for somebody used to being tricky but not as limber as they once were.
2/4: 80 for this and the camo (50 for one and 30 for the other).

2, kinda 6. Let me explain.

Talk to Bruco about it. Show him the money sack, maybe let her catch a glimpse of some silver, let her know you do definitely have the funds. That might keep her extra eager to please. Comment to Bruco that you definitely have the money, but he's (you're) the one risking 9 months of serious inconvenience on a... did she say tricky? Quick to lose potency? Potion. So it's his call. And you do have other uses for the money. A lot of those other potions sound like they could be handy... if there's a good reason so many have been sitting there unsold.

You don't have to use all those words exactly, or by yourself, let Bruco play it back and forth with you a bit too. Point is, drop a suggestion of a few reasonable doubts, and lead it around to the idea of getting a discount for multiple bottles. Don't push it too hard, just toss the ideas between yourselves and see if it gets a reaction from her like she might be open to a better deal. It's very possible that this lady has all the customers she needs (and doesn't want) and is just excited for the chance of her other potions being used for exciting sorcerer things.

In fact, as part of your discussion with each other, you could suggest that you could pick up extra work while you're here, and maybe ask her if she's heard of anyone who could use some sorcery services. Perhaps any other outsiders with worries and resources.

I want to suggest hitting on her and maybe leading to a three-way but with the two of you in each others' bodies neither of you will be able to perform and you'd probably disappoint her. It's not worth that!

>>835074
6: "was that a stealthy proposition?"

>>835074
1.

Woah, just think of how many lizard ladies we could fuck with this potion! We should ask her if anyone in town is a good lay. Love some scales, aww yeah.

6]] "Something tells me there's something we can give you for your wares that you'll value more than plain old silver. How about you throw in the speed potion too, then close up shop for real and we can talk about ways my lady and I can pay you back."

A penny saved is a penny earned!

And if everyone else is shy about fucking the potion doggo (cowards) then maybe we can cast an incantation to do some kind of illusion and make her only think we're fucking her instead.

4

Time to show off what awesomely powerful and competent sorcerers we are, by NOT blowing 25% of our king-murdering petty cash on a single-use sex toy, without even googling it first.

Do an incantation, find some fairly weak spirit associated with mercantilism or chemistry or something. We don't need to know exactly how to make this particular potion, just approximately how difficult and time-consuming the process is, and maybe a list of ingredients annotated with fair market prices for each. That's major leverage for the haggling, since it makes us look omniscient (rather than gullible tourists) even if the specific knowledge isn't so earthshaking in the grand scheme of things.

>>835147
This

6) We'll buy it if we can try it on you.

>>835169
Yes.
She's unhappy with her job. If she performs well, maybe we could offer her a better one?

Brom 2017/10/08(Sun)16:31 No. 835239 ID: f30be2
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"Will yoooou excuse us for a second."
"Take all the time your honored selves require!" Sashika's hip is cocked so far out that she'd be in danger of dislocation in a few degrees. "Sashika is your most humble servant."

Strela turns Bruco around and they move away from Sashika's menagerie of madness.
"OK," she whispers, in the latitudinous language of the Leonials (which Bruco understands but can't really speak). "She is absolutely propositioning us to a threesome right now."

"Yeah you know when we were falling for each other and I said I didn't understand what you wanted?" Bruco whispers, in the guttural language of the Bandaras (which Strela understands but can't really speak). "This one's a little easier to read."

"Do you..." Strela glances back over her shoulder. Sashika's tail is wagging. "I mean... it would certainly save us some silver."
"You're considering it?"
"Are you considering it?"
Bruco's eyebrows raise. "I didn't know you, uh, liked girls."
"It's your body, idiot."
"OK well if it's bodies then your body is being pretty funny about it too."
"Does that mean we're considering this?"

They both look back again. Sashika's rolling the potion around on the hardwood desk. She grins at them.

"This was already going to be some weird sex anyway," Bruco points out.
"Well we haven't exactly talked about... boundaries," Strela says.
"We were loose about it in my last marriage but that was two Bandaras and that's how Bandarriages are." Bruco shrugs. "So uhh I dunno."
"Ok but if we did it wouldn't be because we weren't satisfied with each other because I love you."
"I love you."
"It would definitely save us some silver, though."
"It would."

1]] Well so would sorcery and we're sorcerers. I think it's time for an incantation.
2]] Ok, lover mine. Let's get ourselves a bargain.
3]] On the other hand we do have plenty of silver. And we aren't exactly ourselves at the moment.

2.

>>835239
2 till the end of time

2) It's not like it's your first time. Right?
Speaking of bargains, this means Bruco gets to have *two* new experiences at once.

3.

I'm not against what's on the table in principle but you guys are not going to be able to perform well enough in each others' bodies to get a bargain this way.

2.
Yeah, we're definitely including the pup in this deal. I want to see just how excited we can get her to be.

3. Whether it'd be fun or not isn't the question. The danger of saying something in the heat of a moment that would arouse suspicion and the possibility of needing to function on drugs makes me think it's a bad idea. We should be considering it on the return trip.

The potion is going to make this fun no matter what. 2.

>>835239
2.
And if the potion works well, then it might help to have a skilled alchemist on our team. She's clearly unhappy here, after all.

2 and aim to recruit alchemist to our team.

Brom 2017/10/08(Sun)19:02 No. 835269 ID: f30be2
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"Ok, lover mine." Strela kisses Bruco on the cheek. "Let's get ourselves a bargain."
Bruco looks Sashika up and down, his pupils tracking to the side a little to take in her curves. Then he kisses Strela back. "Let's."
"Spirits, I can't believe we're about to do this." Strela says. Her giddiness coming from Bruco's voicebox makes him smile.
"Are you sure you want this?" he asks.
"Bruco I followed you into a cult temple and a living pirate ship that flies," Strela says. "And now I am going to follow you into this thick alchemist dog's bed."

They turn back around.
"Unfortunately, my wife and I don't have that much coin to spare," Strela says. "Not on something so... recreational, anyway."
"Now if it was a speed potion or something..." Bruco says, and Strela elbows him behind their backs.

"Ahhhh." Sashika's grin dies. "Ah. Of course. Silly Sashika. Such eminences as yourselves must see such wares as frivolous."

Brom 2017/10/08(Sun)19:02 No. 835270 ID: f30be2
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"We didn't say we didn't want it." Bruco's arm snakes around Sashika's shoulder. "We just have to work out another way of paying for it."

Sashika freezes like a statue as his other arm trails down her wrist.
"Sorcerers negotiate with every incantation," Strela says. "And Strela and I are positive we can come up with a mutually beneficial solution."

Sashika tries to start a sentence twice.
"Like... what?" she manages.

1]] Like perhaps if you'd throw in a potion of __________ to the mix we could justify a more... indulgent price.
--1a]] We could even throw in ___ silver pieces to balance the books.
2]] Like something that requires a little more privacy.

1) chameleon potion, 1a) -50. Just to see if she's paying attention.

2
Throw in some cash as well.

>>835270
2, because you didn't really brew that potion in the hopes somebody would come along and BUY it, did you?
You were hoping somebody would be willing to test it for you. Or, rather, test it with you.

>>835270
2.

Brom 2017/10/08(Sun)20:05 No. 835280 ID: f30be2
File 150751831809.png - (363.05KB , 960x560 , 17.png )

"I love you," Strela gasps. "I love you so much."
"I love you too."
"I could never do this without you. Never."
"Which part?"
"Any of it. Never. Life. I need you."
"I'm here." He cups her face. "I'll always be here."

Brom 2017/10/08(Sun)20:05 No. 835281 ID: f30be2
File 150751833141.png - (340.55KB , 960x560 , 18.png )

Sashika comes up for air.

"That! Is! So! Romantic!" she pants, in time to Strela's rhythm.

Brom 2017/10/08(Sun)20:05 No. 835282 ID: f30be2
File 150751834868.png - (145.84KB , 960x560 , 19.png )

"Four years," Sashika says.
"No." Strela cups her breast. She's so petite it fits in a palm.

Sashika lays between the sorcerers like a hot little pillow. Between the slender figures of the Leonials and the sculpted bulk of the Bandaras, Strela's never touched anyone as soft. She's fascinated by how squishy the alchemist is.
Though in all honesty that was probably the least new part of what just happened.

"It is true. Four years since a man. FIVE since a woman." Sashika shakes her head. "The body is not built for such an agonizing wait. Not poor Sashika's, anyway. The reptile people, they lust only in strange fey seasons. And never for anything warm blooded." She sniffs. "Not that I would want to lay with one of them. Such a stench."
Bruco chuckles. "They didn't smell all that bad."
"Pah." Sashika blows air at him. "Your nose is as weak as it is lovely." She sighs with satisfaction, then opens her eyes. They're actually a little wet, Strela notes.
"I have been so lonely," Sashika says. "So, so lonely. I did not even realize. I did not think of myself as one to be lonely. But to be touched like this again." She squirms tighter between them, closing her eyes again.
Strela and Bruco link hands across her stomach.

"But Sashika has a question," Sashika says. "Why are you truly here?"
"Hmmm?" Strela sits up a little.
"Two sorcerers surely have the breadth of the world for their honeymoon, and yet here you are. In droppy filthy Naut. Sashika thinks perhaps there is a reason for this." She shrugs. "It is not my business. I am a simple backwater alchemist. But I realize I do not even know your names." She reopens her inkblotted eye. "And I would help you, if I can."

Introduce selves.
Acquire Doggo.

>>835282
Yeah alright, ask if she's seen any corsairs around. You're hunting one.

You are Bruco and that is Strela and a spirit has guided you here to find a man. We could tell you more on the way to our goal, if you would accompany us... but we're not going to find him lying in bed like this.

>>835282
We are Bruco and Strela. Know that our cause is veiled for a reason. We cannot risk discovery. Your offer of aid is welcomed. Should we require your assistance, we will call for you.

>>835282
A honeymoon sometimes is an adventure, a quest. Literally in our case. We're playing political alliances for the benefit of our tribes, seeing sights, meeting new people, making deals with spirits, experiencing new things, and participating in threesomes.

Now if THAT ain't the Honeymoon of a lifetime, I don't know what is. We're searching for a dude. A ex-kingly dude.

>>835282
"A mission. One so important as to divert our honeymoon.
One that, I think, could use skilled and loyal alchemist. Can you think of any who would be interested in being with people who appreciate them? With the possibility, if things work out that way, of a more companionable home?"

>>835281
Damn, this is too funny.

>>835289
I think this suggestion is written best.

we're looking for someone. why are YOU here, if you hate it so much?

I'm Bruco, this is Strela, and you're our first mistress. We're here to kill a Corsair. Wanna help?

Brom 2017/10/09(Mon)11:42 No. 835375 ID: f30be2
File 150757455134.png - (12.36KB , 960x560 , 20.png )

"I'm Bruco," Strela says. "This is Strela."

"Bruco and Strela." Sashika rolls their names around on her tongue. "May I ask another question before you tell me more, Bruco and Strela?"
"Sure."

"Is it normal for Tribals to say their own names in bed?" Sashika asks.

Yes, it is an ancient Bandara tradition to toot your own horn in bed. A way of proclaiming that you, Bruco Bandara, are the king of dick moves. Strela was playing monkey see, monkey do.

>>835375
When this is happening? Yes.

just say "nope" and offer no further comment.

UHHH It for sure is, we were actually wondering why you weren't saying your own name? Were you not enjoying yourself?

>>835375
"I suppose you should know, before we invite you on our adventure, that we are rather... Innovative. In the heat of passion we slip, but we have normally been addressing each other based on the body they are in."

Everybody assumes magic users are freaks. Body swapping for sexual thrill is pretty much nothing.

>>835389
No, don't say that! We're not supposed to tell anyone about that!

It's one of the conditions that the spirit Peregrinate set on us, which states that nobody but Bruco and Strela are supposed to know that they switched bodies!

So no telling Sashika or anybody!

If anyone figures out there's a body swap, Strela has to go up the mountain on her own. So there's some incentive to keep it secret. Hmm, will Strela know if that part of the deal fell through?

I feel like it's busted no matter what we say. Perhaps it would suffice to just go "Uh, it's a bit embarrassing..." and leave it at that.

Its a odd marriage custom from way back when. Is supposed to keep the spirits happy and such.

(quick distract her from this topic by nibbling on something sensitive!)

>>835391
Oh, I missed that.

Ok, then: "Yours doesn't? I thought it odd that you weren't."

Brom 2017/10/09(Mon)13:06 No. 835403 ID: f30be2
File 150757961913.png - (12.51KB , 960x560 , 20a.png )

"It's a ummmm old marriage custom," Strela says. "To keep the spirits happy."
"Ahh." Sashika nods. "Sorcery. Sorcerers! I share a bed with two sorcerers!" She spreads her arms out and gathers both of them closer. "It is like a thing from a lurid travelogue."
"And you're right," Bruco says. "We're sorcerers on a mission."
"I'm not sure how much of it we can say to you yet," Strela says, "but we're here to find someone. A man."
"Ah! A mission with whose difficulty Sashika is infinitely familiar."

Strela starts to giggle before modulating it down an octave. "Why are you here, Sashika?" she asks. "If you hate it so much."
"Ah, pff." Sashika says. "This is a boring and sad story."
"C'mon," Bruco says. "We showed you our uh our marriage custom and everything."

Brom 2017/10/09(Mon)13:07 No. 835404 ID: f30be2
File 150757964984.png - (85.58KB , 960x560 , 21.png )

"Very well. Short little version." Sashika sits up. "When I graduated from the Academie Einbesh--"
Strela interrupts. "You were a student of Einbesh?"
"Half a decade ago, yes."
"Einbesh. The Bibliopolis." Strela is starstruck. "No wonder your potion was so potent."
"You know of us?"
"Only uhhh what Strela has told me," Strela says.
"Well. Little Sashikita knew she was to be a sorceress. And when her unmagical blood crushed this dream, she scrambled her way into Einbesh and knew she was going to be a great alchemy-savant. And when she came to Naut, she knew she would observe their unique phylogenetic ways for the space of a month, perhaps two, and then be off on her way to change the world. If she could see the woman she would become I think she would have stayed on her carrot farm." Sashika laughs ruefully.

"When I arrived I found them in crisis. Plague, stillbirth, barely holding on to their lives. And damn Sashika's heart, it could not simply sit back and observe. When So it was I dashed from one crisis to the next, and as I found success I found dependency. And I discovered that months have a way of bringing their ugly relations the years in. And I stayed here. As much as these lizard brains infuriate me, I cannot allow them the suffering they would feel without me. And no self-respecting alchemist would wish to take my place. I was training an apprentice, one who could replace me, perhaps. What an effort! Like making a castle from mud! But I began to think it would take. And then he vanished one day, last year. All his things gone. Where he went, why, poof. I do not know. But he took much of my hope with him."

Brom 2017/10/09(Mon)13:08 No. 835405 ID: f30be2
File 150757968490.png - (23.02KB , 960x560 , town2.png )

She lays back down. "And then two sorcerers came and fucked the black out of her spots. So! Life is not all weepy." She snuggles back up to them. "Will you share Sashika's bed tonight? Or does your mission call you somewhere else? And if it does..." She looks up, sheepishly. "Is it somewhere you may need an alchemist's help? One who knows this place like the back of her paw?"

We're going:
A]] to the Wardhouse.
B]] to the butcher-tanner.
C]] to the general store.
D]] to stay right here for the night.
E]] to the Greenhowler Grotto.
F]] to the Duchess' manse.
G]] out of Naut. Our business lies elsewhere.

And we
1]] have to travel alone. It's not safe.
2]] would love to take you with us.

>>835405
E, F, D, G, 2.
"They can manage without you for a month or two, yes? And it's possible that completing our mission may solve some of the problems this town is having - if stillbirths had always been common here the town would have died out, and what we seek could easily cause such things."

A, E, D, 1.
We have to make some preparations for the journey first. let's not take the dog along when we look for the scoop on the King. If she needs to arm up too, we could go to the wardhouse with her then drop her off (A/D/E). Information is best hunted in smaller groups.

D, 2

We are on a mission to save the world after all. This little trip for the corsairs is just a side journey. And a master alchemist would tip the scales in our favor.

But warn her that the journey could get dangerous. (I wonder if we could call up a spirit to find her missing apprentice)

>>835405
D2.

D2
Towns like this are probably dime in a dozen. Her continued stay would hardly be a solution to the problems that this town faces. If she really wants to make a change, then coming with us would be her best bet.

D2

Brom 2017/10/09(Mon)18:03 No. 835459 ID: f30be2
File 150759741952.png - (139.78KB , 960x560 , 22.png )

"Well I do want to look at this Greenhowler Grotto thing," Strela says. "Strela?"
"I don't believe I've ever been in a grotto," Bruco says.
Sashika's lip curls. "Uch. It is not a good place to be."
Strela pulls Sashika into her embrace. "So does that mean you don't want to come with us?"
Sashika freezes again. "You would like this?" she squeaks.
Strela looks to Bruco. He puts a hand on Sashika's plush thigh and nods.
"We would," she says. "The journey may get dangerous. In fact I'm willing to bet it will. But a master alchemist would tip the scales in our favor. And if you really want to make a change..."
"Tedium builds a shield against fear like pearl around sand," Sashika says. "I am immune to it. Whatever I have is at your fingertips."
Bruco rubs the patch of skin right under her bellybutton. "Y'know I think it already was."
Sashika giggles.
Strela lays with Bruco's (or her own, technically) back pressed against hers. She is still far from used to this body; but the heartbeat coming from Bruco and the gentle swoop of his hips under her hand are making it easier on her.
"You wanna spend the night here?" he asks.
"If Sashika's reaction to the Grotto is any indication we won't exactly find stellar lodging there." Strela makes herself more comfortable, and feels Bruco shimmy his hips (her hips, technically) in response. "And I must admit she managed to tire me out."
"Was I good?" Sashika asks. "I am not exactly in practice."
"You were one of the best women I've ever had," Strela says, with complete honesty.

The night passes in soft bliss.

Brom 2017/10/09(Mon)18:03 No. 835460 ID: f30be2
File 150759743822.png - (369.86KB , 960x560 , 23.png )

Greenhowler Grotto is sweltering and humid. Strela's high-altitude fleece sticks to her skin.

All around the wide sweep of its main hall, a great wooden framework supports a forest of hammocks, several of which swing gently with the snoring of Nautish citizens. The floor level is studded with hidebound stools and low wooden tables, moatly empty at the early hour. Behind the bar, next to a sweating copper still, a lizard man bartender regards the trio under indolent lids.

What draws the eye most dramatically hangs right above him. A mottled green hide, stitched into a wide canopy stretched across a block of sandstone, mouth slightly agape, flayed eyestalks stretched up to the balcony above it.

As Strela looks at it, its eyes swivel and it looks back. She averts the gaze.

"This place is olfactory Hell," mutters Sashika to Strela's left.

A]] Order a drink.
B]] See about purchasing provisions or some other kind of tavernly gear.
C]] Ask the bartender about Naut.
D]] Ask the bartender about himself.
E]] Ask the bartender about whatever the hell is hanging above him.
F]] Ask the Bartender about Corsairs.
G]] Do that classic adventuring thing and ask him about rumors or strange happenings.
H]] Listen in on some breakfast conversations, surreptitiously
I]] Depart the Grotto.
J]] _____________

EDF. New new main character.

ACDF. Standard bartender questioning tactics.

G

C, F, H

A but breakfast for everyone. Get the smell of lizard out of Sashi's nose

A and B.

Brom 2017/10/12(Thu)13:29 No. 836217 ID: f28b2f
File 150784017729.png - (12.26KB , 960x560 , 24.png )

Strela sidles up to the bar.

“Howdy,” she says.

“Hey.” The bartender is leaning against the back wall of his establishment. He makes no move to approach.



"So you the bartender?"

"Yup."



Silence.



"How is that?"

"Alright."



"Slow morning?"

"Bit."



Great. Scintillating.



"So... Naut." Strela sits at the bar. Bruco follows. Sashika stands; her ears barely reach past the counter. "How do you like it."

"Sfine."

"Tell me more about it?"

"Decent folk. Buildings don't leak much." He shrugs. "Been worse. Morning, Sashika."

"Hello, Tarvid, Your floor is filthy."

He shrugs again.



"So..." Strela taps on the bar. "Have you heard of any Corsairs about?"



The conversations floating around the breakfast tables drop like dead birds. Tarvid the bartender is as still as ever, but lines appear in the scaly epidermis on his forehead.



"Why?" he asks, the lethargy in his voice replaced by something darker.

Isn't there a standing bounty on them for menacing fine upstanding citizens and whatnaut?

Before you continue you should order a drink. That should bring him a bit closer to the bar heh.

And then proceed to explain your noble cause.

>>836217
>The conversations floating around the breakfast tables drop like dead birds.
Annnd now everyone is looking at us.

>"Why?" he asks, the lethargy in his voice replaced by something darker.
> darker
Uh oh. Let's choose our words carefully.

>>836217
have you ever seen anything good happen when Corsairs are about?

We're hunting.

>>836217
We're Sorcerer's, spirit deal. Gotta find a certain Corsair, give him a message from beyond, yotta yotta yotta. Supposedly near here. We'll probably die from a spirit killing us if we don't find him in time and failing the deal. So, actually on a time limit here.

>>836217
We're looking to gut us a pale, knife-nosed, spear chucking freak. Do you you know where they're at or not?

Heard they weren't popular around here. Also heard there was one hanging around. Seemed an unusual combination. Unusual things suggest... business opportunities. For us.

>>836217
So there ARE corsairs about.

Brom 2017/10/16(Mon)13:51 No. 837210 ID: f30be2
File 150818709362.png - (18.95KB , 960x560 , 25.png )

"We're hunting one," Strela says. "Do you know where they're at or not?"
"Bad business," Tarvid says.
"Bad but mine." Strela clicks a silver onto the bar. "Yours is getting me a drink."

They hold a mutual stare for a moment before Tarvid slides a tankard under the tap and fills it. "Bit early."
"Are you a barkeep or a dad?" Bruco asks.
Tarvid snorts and slides the brew over to Strela.
As she drains it, the sounds of morning food and talk cautiously reestablish themselves.

"Was talk of a corsair boat in the sky last night," Tarvid says. "Everyone's on edge."
"Not what we're looking for," Bruco says, hastily. "This one would've been here a while."
"Corsair been here a while." Tarvid wipes his nose. "You sound like Rolastus."
"Rolastus?"
"Lead guardsman. Sees Corsairs under his bed and down the shitter. Bit--" He waves his finger around his earhole in the universal gesture for crazy. "In his old age. You could take that kind of talk out of this bar and to his wardhouse, would do us some good. Just eh." He gestures at Bruco. "It didn't bother me none, but watch your woman's mouth there. He don't much like them talking out of turn to him."
Bruco's eyebrow hitches up.

Guess we should go see that guy then.

>>837210
Before you leave, ask him what a Moldy's doin' so far out of Bureau territory.

>>837210
Go find the old guy. Tease Bruco while he's in your body.

Visiting Rolastus... I don't think he would be helpful considering he sees a Corsair in every shadow. But I'd still visit the Wardhouse just to ask if there's been any official reports about Corsair sightings.

Oh. Ask Sashika if she's got any memory-enhancing potions. For Rolastus.

>>837214
I think you got your wires crossed.

To the wardhouse for paranoid preparations, then. Pisswater's a poor breakfast anyway.

Let's check this guy out.

>>837215
Thiiiiiis.

Brom 2017/10/22(Sun)12:44 No. 838720 ID: f30be2
File 150870146005.png - (86.26KB , 960x560 , 26.png )

"Then I guess we're off to the wardhouse." Strela steps away from the bar. She nearly trips over the diminutivie Sashika, who skitters apologetically out of the way.
"No tip?" Tarvid calls.
"Here's one," Bruco says, following Strela. "Don't tell a man to watch his woman's mouth next time."

"What a fuckin' punk." Bruco is scratching Sashika's head to calm himself down as they head for the wardhouse. "You couldn'ta said something?"
"Coin is a universal language," Strela says. "Its lack is doubly so."
"I guess."
"It hadn't occured to me you wouldn't be used to blocking that kind of thing out," Strela says, then, suddenly conscious of keeping the kayfabe up for Sashika, adds: "Uhhh we're a little more egalitarian in the Tribelands."
"Naut is a morass in ways beyond physical, my friends. You need not tell Sashika this. They are-- set. In lizardly ways." Sashika tugs on Bruco's pant leg. "Behind ear, Mistress?"
Bruco readjusts and Sashika's leathers squeak as her tail wags rapidly. "Yessss," she purrs.
"You're going to need to gird yourself, I think," Strela says. "For this Rolastus customer."
"He better watch his tongue," Bruco hisses. "Before a cat gets it."

Strela tries to hide how amused she is by Bruco's unorthodox act of doubleback chivalry. "Would you happen to have a potion for this, Sashika?" she asks. "Something to jog our man's memory or give him some clarity?"

"Have you seen my shelves, milord? Sashika has a potion for this." She twists her head to get Bruco's hand behind her other ear. "A draught I can brew to banish the uncertainty from Rolastus' mind, and bring him the focus he lacks. Under such influence his mind would discern the true threat from the phantasm... but such a thing he would never willingly take from a foreign harlot in tight pants." She frowns. "Rolastus and Sashika are not on the best of terms."

A]] We'll make do without. I imagine we can get what we need out of him regardless.
B]] Then we'll just have to trick him into drinking it somehow, won't we?
C]] He'll drink it. Strela and I have a way of convincing people.
D]] This calls for an invocation instead, then:
E]] __________

C) And we don't mean by sleeping with them. This time.

>>838720
c

Something tells me threatening the captain of the guard in his guardhouse won't work.

D]] An incantation to make the potion look and taste exactly like Rolastus' favorite drink, whatever that might be. Frame it as dropping by to give him a gracious gift as an apology for not checking in first off when you arrived from the forest mysteriously.

C!

You'd think sexism would have been selected out in a lot of societies when anyone could randomly be a sorcerer who takes issue with that sort of thing.

E) How about you make for a cheaper invocation by using the invocation to get him to drink? Don't forget to pay for the potion, by the way. Can't go taking advantage.

Potential bonus: if you (or rather, Bruco) visibly use some sorcery with this guy it might teach him a little lesson, or at least get him to hold his tongue a bit until you're done.

>>838720
C it is!

C

D, how much would a spirit charge to make a self-nutshot on the bartender look like an accident?

C Shouldn't be terribly difficult.

E. Go all out on disproportionate retribution and attract unnecessary attention by invoking spirits to humiliate an imaginary bit character who didn't agree with my personal politics in THE CURRENT YEAR. He deserves it.

D.

I'm not entirely sure C is meant to imply seduction, but I'm pretty sure it's meant to imply seduction. Strela can easily use her feminine wiles to- oh. Right.
Let's go with B instead. We'll find a way to sell it as a truth serum and convince him he's obligated to drink it for some reason.

Brom 2017/10/29(Sun)16:16 No. 840816 ID: f30be2
File 150931896146.png - (29.07KB , 960x560 , 27.png )

"No," Rolastus says.

Brom 2017/10/29(Sun)16:17 No. 840818 ID: f30be2
File 150931902071.png - (22.50KB , 960x560 , 28.png )

"I'll not drink it. You can't make me drink it. I don't care what it does, and I don't care to have that whorish witch who brewed it in my office, so she can take her whore witch draught with her. And then you can talk to me. Not before."
He leans forward. The thugs at his flanks are unmoving.
"You've brought your savage tribal shit into my town. I would like to see it leave."

"Here I thought the corsairs were here before we were. I guess you'll never be certain about them now."

>>840818
"Wow, kind of racist there buddy. But yeah it's pretty dumb, like our whole character arc was spitting in the face of all of that. Rest assured we haven't brought any of that with us."

>>840818
We shouldn't kill them. That would be morally wrong probably. Still, we need him to apologize for those words.

If we can find a practical way to get him to talk politely, we should take it! However, if he refuses to apologize, we should probably demand satisfaction.

Good news - it's a suppository.

>>840818
well I guess its time to break a couple noses. Start boar start with taking out the minions after giving Bruco a look.

>>840818
"Well, that's too bad. We heard that you're the guy to talk to when it comes to talk about a Corsair that's been here a while. But since you don't want to talk about it, then I guess you'll just have to deal with it on your own."

>>840818
Oh, so he wants to play hardball? That's almost cute.
"I suppose if that's how you feel.
I'm sorry, Sashika. It looks like you're not welcome in this town anymore.
We'll guard you while you go around letting the expectant mothers know that this fine gentleman is running you out of town, and how you obviously won't be able to help their eggs anymore. You're always welcome with us, of course."

Then you can leave.

>>840851
He has insulted our new wife. Ask her where he can hear it, if that potion would work as a suppository.

Well, let's try with some persuasion.

Tell him you just saw a Corsair entering through a window in this building and that you're worried for his safety. It's all thanks to this potion that you were able to clearly see its swift movements.
Tell him you understand he's been seeing Corsairs and that you know how elusive they are. Unlike other less-trained individuals. This is his only chance to prove to everyone he cares about that they're wrong! Is he really fine to leave things as they are?

If we can't persuade him with words then I guess we'll have to get creative :3