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829557 No. 829557 ID: d36af7

An angel, a coward, a demon, a White Elf, a liar, a laborer, a saint, a siren, and a wizard walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Why the l̨̗̖͎̜͖̙̻͛̿͆̎͋ͯo̍̓ͭn̩͉͎̼͆g͚̦̙ͥ̎ͨͥ̎ face?" The demon replies "I can provide you with more than a hundred barrels of ale, sixty gallons each, over the course of the next week, if you, in return, stop asking such stupid questions." Soon enough they come to an agreement.

From Zelkor's Ferry, you can head upriver about 25 miles to Passholdt's border fort. If you're going by land, most people wait for good weather and a large group, then march the whole way to the fort in one day, so as to avoid the red bear. Dirt road turns to mud when it rains. Follow that tributary river (the channel which the ferry actually crosses) to the south and there's a lake, on the far side of the lake is Rook's Vineyard. We don't go there anymore. Downriver, it's about fifty miles to the old coast road, which continues as far north or south as anyone's ever cared to check.

North bank of the river and dozens of miles beyond, from here to the coast road, is marshy lowlands. Swamp trolls live there, and stilt-walker elves, and green-robed monks in decrepit cloisters atop the few rocky outcroppings. There are rumors of some ancient beast sleeping under the mire, able to swallow elephants whole.

Any other direction, forest. All kinds of monsters in the forest, but only three kinds of men. First kind is outlaws, meaning pathetic types on the run from their own mistakes, Most are decent enough, if you give 'em a bit of charity and remember to keep a hand over your purse. Not many survive more than a few weeks. Second is bandits, meaning hardened thieves and murderers who've made the forest their home. They'll take everything you have and afterward, if you're lucky, ransom you back to civilized folk naked and bereft but in the right number of pieces. Third type is those hunting the first two. Adventurers, bounty hunters, questing knights, whatever.

Wiki: http://tgchan.org/wiki/Please_do_not_Take_these_Organs
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4587981[/spoiler]
635 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
No. 943831 ID: e4aa95

rolled 1, 2, 6 = 9

>promptly shuts off it's own higher thought processes to avoid committing evil.
Haha fair enough. Vos will ask Azarthraine if he can disintegrate us a tunnel down into the important room on the map.
No. 943833 ID: f57349

Supreme Disintegration could blast holes in the ground easily enough, but it's not completely clear how this map connects to the features you've already explored, so there's no sure way to aim at the right spot. Also, if the goal is to purify and repair this place, any sort of major structural damage is counterproductive.

From a geomantic/hazmat-containment standpoint, poking a hole straight into the heart of the pestilence might be a lot like lancing a boil, producing a pressurized jet of infectious pus.
No. 943835 ID: e4aa95

rolled 1, 3, 4 = 8

Vos doesn't wait for Azarthraine to finish his explanation. Instead, Vos nods sharply and turns to slither down into the Mouth of Doom with spear in hand, tossing the Deck of Many Things over his shoulder.
No. 943836 ID: d9acdc

>Everybody re-introduce yourselves. Appearance, personal equipment (armor in particular), any notably grand sensual indulgences or terrifying ordeals since the last time you gained a level, and whatever else you think might be relevant.

Character Description:

Maru Red is a young dark skinned woman with a thick cockney accent, and a short afro which she's been growning out since her prison escape before the expedition first embarked. ~5'8, probably 160lbs or so, with a build more accurately described as scrappy and wirey, rather than bulky or muscular. She has as much of a beer pouch and she can build up, but her adventures with the Fire Hawks haven't given her much of a chance to drink in excess or lounge around aimlessly. Even with the down time during travel, she tends to struggle to pack weight on, despite her best efforts. Her nose has obviously been broken more than once, and the multitude of white-ish scars running across her face/body show either a lack of regard for her own well being, or an intimate home life with a loving brier patch. Possibly both. Her tendency for crudeness is rivaled only by her seeming lack of an inside voice, and she attempts to inebriate herself whenever possible. Quick to action, slower to regret, and thinks most problems can be solved with a tussle and a round of drinks, maybe a really expensive round of drinks if you fucked up big time. In short, she's a raucous girl with an appetite for grog and action, driven by the dream that some day, her name alone will inspire countless imitators, epic tales, and have the tavern girls fighting over who gets to help warm her bed in the cold winter nights. |

Character Sheet:

Tiefling Townie

Specialization: Skald

High/Low Ambitions: Fame, glory, and the perks that come with it / Craving for pipeweed

Phobia: Being forgotten from this world/dying without becoming famous

Mutation: Filed down horns protruding from her forehead

Vulnerability: Much like a reptile, gets sluggish in the cold, and will become comatose if she is in extreme cold for extended periods of time.

Current inventory includes:

Lead bullets & sling
Clean cloth, hooked needles, & thread
Feathers, penknife, lots of parchment & ink
Coin purse (empty save a smattering of unspent silver and copper)
Walking stick / tent pole
Elbow length fingerless gloves with mage armor and stylized brass knuckles built in, designed to form a bruise honoring Calistra. (~30g)
8-scream devil powder (1 dose) (10g)
Fashionable headgear designed to disguise her horns and give her headbutts and extra oomfp (~5g)

I believe Maru hit level 3 sometime around us storming Ecton/surviving the dungeon. Since then, notable events include:
-Arguing with the Mayors apprentice in an attempt to reunite the kiddnapped villagers with their families and homes.
-Gets headbutt by "Cap" and corners him in the sewers with Viste, stopping Vos from charging him with a crit. Proceeded to get in a shouting match with Viste about something which probably wasn't worth fighting over, no actual violence.
-Snuck into Overmire to avoid a medical exam.
-Indulging in barfights, drugs, gambling, and other rancorous partying in town, converting ~5gp to XP. Probably not worth much actual XP, but a $2000 weekend of partying sounds pretty indulgent to me.
-"Cap" is slain during an altercation with pirates that maru only nominally participated in, described by JamesLeng as spreading fire with MSgt Oldaric.
-The Wheel of bone is confronted, Goris is captured, and after some arguing Maru arrives on scene.

Other character updates may take some time, Maru took a solid 2.5 hours to catch up on. If XP earnings are not actually being tallied, I would happily volunteer to take charge on accounting for that stuff from this point forward, if given some sort of rules or formula which I could adhere to, like with exalted.
No. 943838 ID: 094652

rolled 5, 5, 1 = 11

Hore worriedly and quickly follows Vos, which somewhat derails Azure's plans a bit, but she quickly rewrites the plan down to 'mostly what she just said, except anyone do whatever they want and hope this doesn't break down', and follows in with Hore, while Pog stays topside, glaring at everyone else until they at least patrol the first floor.
No. 943839 ID: f57349

So, went for Life Of Crime rather than Insanity?
>rolled 1, 3, 4 = 8
Vos finds his way across the first floor of the dungeon to the room with the giant leeches, then down the long spiraling stairs, previously traversed (and subsequently described to Team Magic Sword) by Valeno Nahesa. At the bottom there's a room 30' east-west by 50' north-south, stairs connecting to the middle of the east wall. Broken furniture and cockroaches scattered across the floor. Archway to the north is engraved with the words "Healing and Recovery," archway to the south similarly says "Forbidden" with a sloppy subscript "until now."

Ten feet past the 'forbidden' archway, there's a long east-west hallway. Valeno's account says the eastward section has a series of traps and a teleporter leading to some administrative area, while the westward is unknown territory.
No. 943844 ID: d9acdc

Isaiah, son of Elohim and prophet of Hanspur
Tesseract Squid? Hedge Witch

Specialization: Death Domain

High/Low Ambitions: Become a "real boy" / Spread the message of Hanspur

Phobia: Angry mobs.

Mutation: Isaiah is a necrolithograph/tesseract squid with a body of plate mail and a core made of abalone. His body requires no food or water, but cannot heal naturally. In addition, Isaiah is sustained by prayers, which can be stored in clay tablets impressed with cuneiform symbols.

Supernatural Vulnerability: Because his body is made of plate mail, damage from rust and other effects that corrode or degrade metal are a serious threat. Regular weekly maintenance is required to keep away mundane corrosion, but magic can make this task easier.

Innate Power: Isaiah instinctively knows where the closest rivers and roads are, how far away they are, and what direction they lead. In addition, when touching a river, road, or path someone has traveled, he can channel his senses through it and into it, allowing him to learn the history of the route, and everything it "knows". This helps with determining things like the name of the route, towns it passes through, the volume of traffic currently and in the past, is there rain or snow on the path up ahead, how old is it, etc etc.

Current Inventory:
A week's worth of nonrechargeable waterproof ration-tablets
Jug of Oil
Big Hammer
Deluxe Lantern
Iron Statuette, depicting a rat standing on water
Rope, in pack
Basic Supplies, tucked in armor
Marbles, 1.5 pounds, pack
Canvas, pack
Rope + silk rope, pack
Rations, pack
Dried Fruit, pack
Torches, pack
Crowbar, pack
Signal Whistle and Hand Mirror, pack
10 Pitons, pack
Healers kit, pack
Water, pack
Bear trap, pack
Grappling hook, pack
Blanket, pack

Isaiah hit level three around the time we made it into and out of the bad air room in the dungeon, I think, and has not done anything of note since.
No. 943846 ID: d9acdc

Kent Vogner
White Elf Townie

Specialization: Artificing

High/Low Ambitions: To level the playing field between the oppressed and those in charge via the acquisition and redistribution of knowledge from the elite into the hands of those in need. / An adoration of arachnids

Phobia: Public speaking

Mutation: Kent has abnormally dark skin, bone ridges at major joints, and touching stone or hard ceramics with their bare skin makes the surface ripple and warp like the surface of a still pond, amplitude dependent on how forceful the contact is. Upside is they've got an excellent sense of touch, including bonuses for fiddly mechanical tasks and some degree of tremorsense.

Supernatural Vulnerability: Eyes that are sensitive to sudden/unexpected increases light, causing vertigo and nausea, which are more/less severe depending on how drastic the change was, and the level of exposure.

Innate Power: Super jump plus clinging. Given sufficient time to 'charge up,' firm footing, and unrestricted limbs, they can launch themself into arbitrary ballistic trajectories, and whatever they hit, they'll stick to until they decides to let go (or until peeled away by something strong enough to lift them off the ground).

Description: Kent Vogner was plagued by a mysterious change in physique from a young age, causing a drastic change in skin color, the growth of bony protrusions, and strange anomalies when interacting with stone and earthenware. Omeyocantli, a relic of the great race of Serpentfolk who were a highly advanced society that befriended the antehuman Haon-Dor, was interested in Kent's condition, and decided to study them. An exchange of knowledge occurred as Kent began to learn the ancient secrets of the serpentfolk, and Omeyocantli found a curiosity to muse upon for a short time. However, Kent's tutelage under the serpentfolk scientist was relatively short lived, as the creature quickly became bored after it learned all of interest regarding Kent's physiology. After separation from their former master, the amateur artificer delved into burglary, relieving those in a position to abuse power of valuable knowledge that might help give the poor and underprivileged the tools to further themselves, and move up in the world.

Current Inventory:
-Fatigue Study: A First Step in Motion Study (Sub currently)
A work from before the fall of the Old Empire, written by Evelyn Moller, formerly a leading authority on the workings of mortal minds as well as industrial engineering. The tome details how to eliminate fatigue as a limiting factor of industry via the creation of an automated workforce and tools.
-The Several Known Languages: a Written Primer on the Nuances of Civilized Communications
-Kent’s Guide to Artificing
A compendium of learned and found notes/knowledge on engineering and artificing, compiled by Kent Vogner, with over half the information being sourced from Kent's former mentor, the Serpentfolk Omeyocantli of Valusia
-Dried fruit (Pack Currently)
-Water jug (Pack Currently)
-Platemail helmet
Modified to include a removable face plate with dark goggles, to help protect against changes in light, and make them more difficult to identify.
-Tools for Field Surgery
-A silver wire bracelet with six tiny symbolic items.
Each charm will do something magical when removed, and will regenerate over time as long as the bracelet itself is intact.
Steel knife (or possibly sword)
Rope of fine quality but otherwise entirely ordinary.
Ceramic mug
Will turn into a mug of frosty cold beer, unless Nistamatsin personally is the one to remove it, in which case it will turn into two dozen wooden barrels of beer. Each of the barrels is just under two feet in diameter at the ends, a few inches wider in the middle, and three feet long, so you could stack 'em up on their sides and block a 10' square corridor floor to ceiling while leaving triangular holes that could almost function as arrow slits.
Brass birdcage
Turns into a wind-resistant lantern, already loaded with a pint of oil and lit.
Narrow ivory cylinder with fluted ends and a single line scored down it's length
Turns into a parchment scroll, pen, and small flask of ink.
Dun-colored spiral with knurled texture
Rope and a small knife, respectively, both of fine quality but otherwise entirely ordinary.
A pair of parallel black rods with three crossbars connecting
Turns into a wooden ladder. Dimensions vary depending on the number you think of (1 to 12), formula not yet known.
8: wooden ladder, 24 feet long, weighing 160 pounds
-First aid supplies
-Wooden Crossbow
Ten +1 Broadhead Bolts
Five +1 Bodkin Bolts
5 Meteorite bolts
-Lock Picking tools
-Delver’s Webbing
1 Empty half pint glass vial
4 Half pint vials of centipede anti-venom
2 Half pint vials of alchemical healing potions, 1d6 healing, harmful to kidneys if consumed too regularly
1 Half pint glass vial of paut, heals 4 magic fatigue points
-Big Knife

Kent hit level 3 around the same time that Isaiah did, when they cleared the bad air room. Since then, notable event has been the trip to Rooks Vineyard.
No. 943847 ID: d9acdc

Name: Bulgruf Many-Woman
Class: Soldier
Specialty: Mounted Archery
Higher Ambition: To create art that inspires others to emulate the noble and virtuosic nature of Blink Dogs
Low Ambition: To find peace from the animals hounding her
Mutation: Being the descendant of a Huraka, her breath carries a similar power to ward off illusions and deceit; accordingly, she sneezes involuntarily in the presence of deception.
Phobia: Past sins and impossible obligations will come back to haunt her.
Vulnerability: Random normally-nonsapient critters frequently petition her for minor but inconvenient favors, which she need not outright accept, but cannot outright refuse.
Innate Power: She can harness the power of storms with a grizzly roar.

Current Inventory:
Right Hip: rope
Left Hip: arrows
Left Shoulder: bow
Right Shoulder: shovel
Neck/Chest: jug of water
Head: canvas
Somewhere Uncomfortable: -----

Bulgruf is currently level 0. Notable events since her introduction include:
-Chasing down Agatha, and subsequently getting into a fight. Hitting an archmage with a lightning bolt and surviving probably counts for something, right?
-Negotiating with pirates offscreen, involving some unelaborated monster clean up.
No. 943848 ID: e4aa95

rolled 4, 2, 4 = 10

>So, went for Life Of Crime rather than Insanity?
Yes indeed.

Seems like the teleporter is the way to go, judging by that map.
No. 943851 ID: f57349

What's the plan for getting past the traps?
No. 943872 ID: 8d924c

>New character?

Minotaur Townie
Specialization: Mazes/Labyrinths
High/Low Ambitions : Build a labyrinth greater than any existing./ Mean Spirited Pranks
Phobia: Sunlight. Will never travel aboveground during the day, given a choice.
Mutation: As a minotaur, he has a sturdy head and neck as well as two horns. Bigger and stronger than a human, and better nightvision.
Also hooves. That isn't really a benefit. This would be difficult to conceal.
Vulnerability: Complete incompetence at stealth. Despite being perfectly capable of complex and nimble movements, somehow none of this translates into ability to move quietly or unseen. Or unsmelled, for that matter.
Innate Power: Maze mastery. Limited control over the walls and structures within a labyrinth or maze.

Head: Paralytic toxin. Usually applied to his horns.
Chest/neck: Chain armor
Right shoulder: The Trapmaker's Art- A book detailing the construction and engineering of traps, written in Dwarven.
Left shoulder: Architect's Almanac- A reference work for architecture, focusing on the construction of dungeons and associated features, but usable for less ambitious projects.
Right hip: Big hammer
Left hip: Lead bullets & sling
Hidden: The Book of the Maze- A text promising the reader power over the walls around them. It's suggested that these walls are in fact the walls between worlds. Unverified effectiveness, as Daedalus has only begun to read it.

Miscellaneous:Travel clothes, boots, gloves, hooded cloak, knife, flint for sparking, food and water for a day.
No. 943876 ID: e4aa95

>What's the plan for getting past the traps?
Just a light source, an eye that can make out microscopic details, and Valeno's description of how they got past everything. Vos will just try avoid triggering the portcullises, and failing that he'll try to slither under them, and failing THAT he'll try to lift them.
No. 943890 ID: f57349

You can spot the seams around the edges of the first pressure plate, but that safe path along the wall is too narrow to effectively slither across. Also, you're briefly overcome by an urge to commit petty vandalism. After it's complete, the portcullis has slammed down in front of you.
No. 943891 ID: ebe46b

rolled 6, 5, 6 = 17

Rolling to lift the portcullis.
No. 943892 ID: f57349

The portcullis doesn't budge, and you've sprained a muscle in your back.
No. 943894 ID: f57349

You're one of Mad King Kazleth's many children, and your innate power can't actually rearrange the physical structure of a maze, just ease your travel through it while baffling intruders. It can also be used to help dodge nonmagical weapons, even without enough space to maneuver.
No. 943896 ID: ebe46b

rolled 5, 5, 5 = 15

Vos grumbles in frustration and slithers down the opposite, unexplored path.
No. 943900 ID: 094652

rolled 1, 4, 6 = 11

"-mnit, why does anyone important have an obsession with poking clearly Artifact-Of-Doom objects?!"
"I blame fanaticism."
"Didn't you tell Mister Decaro about the Deck?"
"Vos worships a literal goddess of mutation. Frankly, I'm surprised he managed to overhear me on the boat one floor up."
"Oh right."

Hore and Azure chased after Vos, but have lost sight of him and are desperately trying to track (diceroll) the slithering pattern his naga tail makes. Hore has been placing Azure's markers haphazardly like breadcrumbs, hoping the others will catch up soon and detect traps for them before it's too dangerous to venture forth. Azure, on her end, considers rallying the team, but decides they're still technically under life insurance policy and should follow any time now.
Any time now.
No. 943904 ID: f57349

From the portcullis, it's about ten yards back to the foyer and stairs up, then twenty yards to a corner right, ten yards, corner left, ten yards, corner right, then a hallway straight on to the limit of your light. After the second corner there's a door in the middle of the right-hand wall. Behind the door there's a 20' x 40' room heaped with broken wood, crockery, and moldy grain. No other obvious exits. Do a thorough search, or continue down the hall?
No. 943905 ID: ebe46b

rolled 1, 1, 6 = 8

>Do a thorough search, or continue down the hall?
A quick once over with Vos' glowing super eye should suffice. He is letting it illuminate at full brightness at all times, taking note of the aura of everything he sees but not dwelling too long. Continuing down the hall.
No. 943909 ID: f57349

There are a few bits of potentially valuable metal mixed in with the debris, but nothing that stands out as magical or threatening.

Twenty yards down the hallway there's a door on the left leading to a kitchen, and a short hallway on the right leading to a small room with a broken table and half a dozen doors leading away - probably to bedrooms, going by the aura traces.

Ten yards past that there's a short passage on the left leading to what may once have been the dining hall, but is now home to a couple of dead elvenoids in monastic robes and a nest of giant diseased rats, none of whom seem to enjoy bright lights. Time for a fight.
No. 943921 ID: ebe46b

rolled 6, 5, 2 = 13

>Time for a fight.
Alright! I'll get ready to stab the first rat that comes into stabbing distance. Any tables or anything I can quickly knock over to create a quick funnel or barricade?
No. 943939 ID: 094652

rolled 3, 3, 4 = 10

Hore hears the sound of a thousand rats and the clanging of metal against stone. She and Azure find Vos stabbing sacks of pus with strings for tails.

A: "Hore, their pupils! Set the table on fire!"
H: "Let's see if I can pull off a trickshot."

Azure casts Resistance on Hore and then flies up to find a chandelier or something to perch on (if she can't find anything she'll just keep flapping in the air where the rats can't bite her). Hore positions herself so she can hit the table and the Rat Nest at the same time without hitting Vos, then attempts that.
No. 944005 ID: 8d924c

Went and looked to see what I could find regarding Kazleth, is the innate power you're suggesting the ability to move through walls? And is everything else good, I didn't make any mistakes?
No. 944037 ID: f57349

Yeah, approved for play. You could even jump in to the current fight.

In mechanical terms you can basically teleport short distances, but only to places you'd eventually be able to reach by mundane means, so e.g. no skipping into a bank vault unless you have all the keys and know how to use them. There's more to it but I can explain the rest when it becomes relevant.
>a thousand rats
More like a dozen, but they're the size of rottweilers. Vos, looking for a choke point, retreated to the kitchen and overturned a table to block the lower half of the door.
There's a rack of pans and ladles and so on over the central table in the kitchen which Azure can awkwardly crouch on top of, with her back against the ceiling.
Rats are readily enough incapacitated by stabbing, or transformed into helpless quivering heaps of cartilaginous flesh by Tittivila's blessing. One of them did manage to bite you, though. The last few rats, including that one really big one, retreat back to the nest when Hore and Maria start throwing fire.

You've got a few moments free, after the rats are out of the way but before zombies arrive. If the chorus of groans echoing off the stone walls are anything to go by, more than the two you saw are coming. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dlr90NLDp-0
No. 944075 ID: e4aa95

rolled 5, 5, 1 = 11

>You've got a few moments free, after the rats are out of the way but before zombies arrive.
Vos will try to further reinforce the barricade however he can. He'll keep his chest eye lit bright so Hore can see and take potshots at the zombies as they approach. He'll resume stabbing once they close in.

Anything interesting about the zombies' auras?
No. 944076 ID: 094652

rolled 1, 5, 6 = 12

"Maria, finish burning that vermin nest! Hore, grab the table and push it against the doorway! If the incoming enemies are the suicidally-stupid kind, you and Maria set it on fire!"
"On it!" (mostly she kicks it into place though)
"Mister Decaro, you're hurt. I think I have one charge-"

Azure notes the crazed look in Decaro's eyes and realizes the deck did something to him, though she isn't sure what.

But she's trained for this moment. Bardic Performance of Suggestion go:
"Mister Decaro, that is a very serious wound from a bringer of plague and infestation. Perhaps you should close your eyes and pray to your goddess for restoration of purity and dismiss any physical intrusions as divine mutation and not react to alien touches with petty violence unfitting of a righteous cleric and let the sexy harpy nurse do her job."
No. 944444 ID: d9acdc

rolled 1, 4, 3 = 8

OOC I haven't followed along with any events transpiring since we jump cut to everyone meeting up. So, instead of delaying and hoping I get a full grasp on the action:

Seeing Vos slither in, Maru gives a look of "what can you do?" to Daviste, and stretches a bit as she waltzes in after him. Bulgruf sticks close to Azarthrine. It seems that Hore and Maria have both charged in as well- what about the other members of the firehawks? Are Daviste or either of the originals joining in?

Rolling to see how lost Maru gets trying to catch up to her eelman friend.
No. 944451 ID: f57349

The walking corpses themselves are bottom-of-the-line undead: slow, stupid, and fragile. They're wearing robes that used to be white, and missing their left hands. However, Vos's augmented aura sight can resolve the individual plague-organisms they're carrying, which are... something else. Each microbe is a miniscule vortex of horror, like Nistamatsin's true face, smaller than a human hair on the outside but maybe as large as a grape within. If they get inside someone, normal immune system function or conventional healing magic can't possibly shake the infection off the way it would a normal undead-raising plague; you'd need specialized antiparasite magic, like what Yisheng Ji used on Vos inside the Eckton Bloom.

Criminal compulsion from the Deck means Vos cannot voluntarily share this insight in any form he expects the recipient to be able to understand, except in response to a direct question backed by credible threat of violence. Excessively cryptic hints and circumlocution are acceptable. Thanks to a clash with his faith, he's not driven to actively mislead or otherwise prevent allies from figuring it out themselves.
No. 944455 ID: e4aa95

rolled 5, 5, 2 = 12

>let the sexy harpy nurse do her job
Vos takes a warning snap at Azure.

>aura sight can resolve the individual plague-organisms
Doesn't change what I'm doing! Gonna stab some zombies.
No. 944467 ID: 094652

rolled 3, 3, 3 = 9

Azure decides addressing this potentially brain-damaging infection in an hour is at least better than addressing it one day later with her leadership stripped.

>bottom-of-the-line undead: slow, stupid, and fragile
Hore and Azure quickly get to work taking potshots at the zombies, counting their kills at long range for the challenge. And because zombie gore is a &!+(# to triple-clean for sanitary standards, especially on fuzz.
No. 944917 ID: f57349

Maru shows up just in time, zombies are caught between interlocking fields of fire and efficiently dispatched. Also there's an ox-man in the kitchen, nearly as large as Pog, who wasn't there a moment ago.
No. 944927 ID: 094652

rolled 2, 1, 6 = 9

Hore takes one last check around before she walks up to Vos, looking for any signs of injury or rot.

"Vos, take a deep breath and count to fourteen. I think the deck managed to mess with your head. Can you tell me what it told you about your prizes and losses?"

Meanwhile, Azure notices the strange ox-man staring at the party. She quickly preens her feathers and tells Maru to stay on the lookout, then walks within a few yards of the newcomer.

"Well, hello there! Do you need some help? We have freshly salted meat at our campfire!"
No. 945009 ID: d29a09

rolled 2, 6, 4 = 12

>Can you tell me what it told you about your prizes and losses?
Vos turns his beady eel eyes on Hore. "Why do you want to know? Hmm?"

>Suddenly ox man
Vos will wrestle him into submission
No. 945047 ID: acef4a

rolled 3, 4, 1 = 8

An evil ox-man! Whatever is that thinkingb thinking, ordering her around and cavorting with enemies of tityvalla? Er, tittyvalla? You'd imagine more titty not less tity, like with dessert and desert, but maybe that's just wistful thinking.
Maru is momentarily distracted.
"Vos! 'ow'd you spell it? One "t" or two? Hore, you know the friendly one, right? I think her heads the one that's been messed with, if she's down here hanging out with wrong crowd. Maybe go get her checked out by big A, see if she's alright.
No. 945115 ID: 094652

"Uh, w-well I just, the, th-the magic brain healers, they need all the information they can get or they charge more, y'know?"
Hore actually respects Vos' personal space for once. Mostly because its radius is less than the biting range radius.

>I think her heads the one that's been messed with, if she's down here hanging out with wrong crowd.
"No, that's just weekdays for Azure."
"Sorry. But seriously, I think everyone but Azure is acting abnormal. Did you sleep-draw-from-the-Deck or something?
No. 945613 ID: 8d924c

rolled 1, 1, 6 = 8

The 'evil ox-man' is shocked by the sudden attempt to wrestle him into submission.

"What are you-augh, stop!" He bellows, shoving back, and if that doesn't work, falling back towards the wall to slip free from the slippery opponent.
No. 945627 ID: 094652

rolled 2, 3, 2 = 7

"I'm so sorry! He touched an Artifact of Doom ten minutes ago! Hore, restrain him already!"

Hore responds by pinching Vos' thyroid nerve cluster. Hopefully all those times he went limp with purring weren't just him making a joke.
No. 945667 ID: e4aa95

rolled 1, 4, 6 = 11

>"What are you-augh, stop!"
Vos continues coiling his naga tail around the ox-man, trying to pull him to the ground. Vos seems baffled by Daedalus' question at first, then he looks at the entrance, with table and chairs stacked against the door frame. "When I barricade a door, it means I want to keep people out. Not have giant muscular ox-man suddenly appear behind me. So explain yourself!"

>Hore responds by pinching Vos' thyroid nerve cluster.
Vos catches Hore's wrist and yanks her into the coil pile.
No. 945940 ID: 8d924c

rolled 1, 1, 3 = 5

Daedalus continues to flail to free himself, still trying to reach the wall. Should he free an arm, he would indicate the wall.

"Going back the way I came! I yield!"
No. 946315 ID: f57349

Hore and Vos are wrestling but the ox-man slips away, through the wall like a ghost. Back on the other side, in the trashed dining hall, Daedalus is confronted by a motherly rat larger than the average adult human and only slightly smaller than himself, who angrily vomits in his general direction.
> rolled 1, 1, 3 = 5
He successfully dodges that as well. Obvious exits, if trying to leave those folks in the kitchen alone, would be east down a 20' hallway and then north at the intersection, or returning to the malfunctioning teleportation device on the west wall which resembles a bas-relief hand.
No. 946346 ID: 094652

Azure stares at the wall for a few seconds, then decides that the ghost-oxman situation can be salvaged if they get Mister Decaro under control.

Hore decides to get off Vos.

"Hore, how are you doing?"
"This would be more fun if the 'hospital' wasn't defined as 'where you go to get illnesses'."
"Noted. Maru, I have an idea, but it's a simple one. If you have any songs to sing, now would be a good time."
No. 946943 ID: 094652

rolled 1, 5, 2 = 8

"... I'll take your silence for a no, then... [deep breath] Maru, please strike Mister Decaro's name from your accounts payable. Hore?"
"What did you-"
"We're leaving. Now. If Mister Decaro wishes to adventure in this completely unknown but otherwise OSHA (Occupational Sanity and Holiness Administration) compliant floor, that is his choice and his choice alone, and not influenced in any way by forces beyond our control. Meanwhile, we will make do without him on our completely legitimate and low-paying plans that will not concern him in any way whatsoever."
"... OH... Well, goodbye Vos, I hope Tittivila still shines on you even if you can no longer trust any change in others. I'll take good care of your shrine for you. I wonder if I should mark it before the wolves do..."

Rolling for reverse psychology (Bluff).
No. 947923 ID: f57349

Azure knows enough about pushing emotional buttons to figure out what's wrong with Vos's mind, and subsequently persuades Jalkaren to fix it for free. On with the delving.

The room you're currently in used to be a kitchen. Fireplace, sturdy wooden table, and various pans and tools (mostly cast-iron) seem to have stood the test of time remarkably well. A rusty knife sits in a brown puddle near one of the back corners, large enough that it probably corresponds to someone who died there and bled out, but there's no body (apart from the one-handed zombies you've already dealt with) and no bloody footprints.

You could take the time to search more thoroughly, cross the hall to the residential area, go around the corner to the dining room where at least one giant rat is still waiting, or continue down the hallway deeper into the heart of the place.
No. 948205 ID: 094652

rolled 5, 5, 3 = 13

Azure instructs the group to take some kitchenware as a present for Rhea, grabbing any tools that look delicate and relatively sanitary. She takes a closer look at the fireplace - or rather, instructs Maria to take a closer look for her.

Hore considers picking up the knife and adding it to her belt, but it looks cursed and nasty. She's looted bloody corpses that were less disgusting. Hore takes a few pots and pans with the least rust, and suggests they throw the kitchenware at the monsters in the next few rooms.
No. 948686 ID: d9acdc

rolled 5, 1, 2 = 8

Maru is baffled at the turn of events- Vos, Hore, Azure, and the angelall get involved in some mess that she doesn't really understand, but the end results in Hore ceasing her weird rants against Vos, so it's probably a good thing? Just glad the glowy tart didn't seem to take issue with her heritage like everyone else seems to.

If there's more exploring to be done, this room seems safe enough as a potential point of retreat, but we should clear out known threats so in the event that we have to run we don't get sandwhiched between a rat and a Minotaur, or whatever else seems fit to assault them in this place.

Lets gather up Vos, Hore, Azure, and whoever else is crammed into this room and go do some pest control.

Rolling to gather party and remove the mentioned giant rat as a threat.
No. 948753 ID: f57349

You successfully plunder the kitchen and regroup. Rhea can ritually purify any inanimate objects that might carry biohazards, provided they're reasonably fire resistant - iron cookware certainly qualifies.

Who's in front when you enter the giant rat's lair?
No. 948754 ID: d9acdc

rolled 3, 1, 3 = 7

Vos is notably more of a tank than Maru, but I'm not going to volunteer someone else's character, so I think the skald is currently in front, unless someone chimes in saying otherwise.
No. 949314 ID: 094652

rolled 5, 6, 1 = 12

Hore follows directly behind Maru, with Azure perched on her back.

Azure is still wondering what the final boss will be like and what the correct answer to Jalkaren's riddle is. Hore is distracted by her own imagination, thinking about how an ineffective horde of shambling corpses can overrun an entire country, and conversely, how a small team of specialists can thwart them before they can do any real damage.

Their ears are tuned to listening for rats, though. Perception roll to listen-specific.
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