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Chanting Swirl
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Boom! It's Robert "Fucking" Nowak time!
Rob was pumped beyond belief! A combination of excitement, rock, stress, and his natural hypomania was sending him to levels he hadn't felt in awhile. He felt like slamming his fist through the wall multiple times. If he wasn't living in his GamGam's spare room, he might have. Instead, he exerted his throbbing energy over a speed bag in the corner of his room.
WhappityBappityWhappityBappity
Christmas '81 was great for Rob! This was the one of the last gifts he got before his mom died. Christmas '84 was good too. Got one of them new cellphones! This could handle the 'thin flops', too. With an adapter, boom! Now it works well with that new computer he got in '83! God, his GamGam was awesome.
WhappityBappityWhappityBappity
Robert wondered, for a brief duration, if 23 was too late to learn guitar. To blast sweet lixx like a metal head or a punk rock master. Maybe he should just get voice lessons so he can hit the high notes like those glam rock virtuosos. He let out a test "Waaaah!" while he punched on the bag. Rob thought he sounded pretty fucking awesome. Not stage material, but he could skip the first few lessons.
WhappityBappityWhappityBappity
Apparently this date is with some duck broad that owns an arcade. Maxine! That ain't a half bad name, in his book! Short for Max. Does she take it to the max? Maximum sex?! Oh yeah! That was the hope, right there. Drunken debauchery on a queen-size was a fine evening for Rob! Maybe even butt stuff! With his butt! No. Can't scare her away like his last girlfriend. Ol' Cindy "Bendy" Bailey. Prude. Damn, was that the last girl he was in a quasi-serious relationship? Bitchy Bailey? Booby Bailey? Sinful Cindy, fit and frisky? That was literally in high school. Still, he was held back in 7th grade and started one year late. But whatever. Fuck. High school was so fucking fucksville. No one understood him or the thousands of bolts of fucking electric fire that danced in his skull with the insanity of nuclear sun sandwiches. Ol 'Spazzy Mo-fap'. Fucking hell, high school sucked! Good thing Robert was an adult now. Grown ass man, with a license. No car, but he could drive his GamGam's, if he needed. The rails were still good for most things. Meeting cousins, trade school, bars, more trade school, bowling, even more trade school. Rob was going to be a plumber. Plumbing was fucking awesome! Modern civilization was built on plumbing. Literally! Romans started that shit or something, but they used lead pipes and it made a fuck-ton of people retarded. British in the 19th century used to pump their shit into the Thames, and it gave a fuck-ton of bastards cholera. Until Joseph Bazalgette fixed that shit like a fucking man! What a beast! A mother fucking unsung hero! Great Stink, fuck off! Champion Supreme, fixing shit! Holy Fucking Shit, to be that kind of plumber!
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Robert was now spending the current section of his learning experience telling computers what to do. Fucking dumb as fuck! He wanted to go back to the first sections.
He wanted to be back with the pipes, seeing the problem, and fixing it with his own hands. It was calming, to fiddle with something on that level, to just for once, for only just a few short minutes, to feel different.
Warm, rushing water.
Warm, rushing water traveling through PVC and concrete.
Tumbling down the pipes. Onward to the plant. Treated. Cleaned. Then onward once more, becoming one with the lake.
Is this what it felt like for normal people?
Was serenity warm, rushing water?
WhappityBap. Bap. BAP!
"Shit!" His hands were sore from punching the speed bag. He did it for nearly 40 consecutive minutes and now he had to get ready for his date or lose the possibility of meeting anyone tonight.
He hopped in the shower and scrubbed himself clean. He spent perhaps a little longer than he should have in it.
He slapped his glasses back on, stepped out of the shower, and paused to look at himself in the mirror.
What a wonderful sight! Robert saw a fucker that was fit! His body was svelte and his muscles were wiry, plus he had huge nuts! These things had their own gravitational pull! Back to the face now. Robert didn't want to rub one out, there was a fucking queen-sized bed in this if all things go right! And they will fucking fuck, damnit! Beastly Robert with the Big Balls! Back to the face, focus.
Shit, that was a sweet 'stache! He had been growing it for awhile, but a clean lip was a good lip too! Both were nice. Oh shit, the date! Wait, what if she hated it? Mustache, no 'stache?! Shhiiiiii--
A) EMBRACE THE MANLINESS AND KEEP THAT 'STACHE!
B) KILL THE CATERPILLAR! EMBRACE A BOLD NEW ERA OF A CLEAN FACE!
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