Dwarf

Cleopatra "Clitty" Farnsworth

Suggested Backstory: Your parents are birth fetishists and you have seven younger futa sisters who are also named after increasingly disgusting anatomical organs (as far as you've seen, the sire of the birth usually masturbates to this organ as your sisters are born) and two roleplaying scenarios (don't ask). You went out on a quest because the fact that none of your sisters are named "boobs", and any inquiry about this to your parents is met with denial and anguish. Do you have an older sister who met a violent, non-sexual fate? Let's find out.

ELF

You are seriously missing out by not making Goblin an option

Goblins are the bimbos of the generic fantasy universe

>>741608
Y'know, a friend of mine once played a campaign of D&D with someone who had a backstory just as ridiculous as that.

I'll never forget the first line: "Born a male, born a fag, Chung Deli was looked down upon by his family because he constantly fucked couches."

Thank you for reminding me of this, kome.

>>741608
Whatever race we're going with I vote for this backstory.

>>741613
(initially I was going to do goblin, i just didnt want another race that was either green or had big ears, Dwarves in this setting are essentially the same)

Phi 2016/08/11(Thu)19:49 No. 741661 ID: a73d2a
File 147097015124.png - (102.75KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer Dwarf Bimbomancer.png )

Ah yes, you are a Dwarf, like all dwarves you possess a keen understanding of all things mechanical. You also have an above average sex drive.

Now all that is needed is a name.

Helgan Goldthroat

>>741661
Terminal McNosedisease

Urist Tragicbeardlessness

>>741670
Obviously this.

>>741670
Yeah I don't think we're getting better than that

>>741673
Tumblarina Crimsonproboscis

>>741670
Sounds good.

Phi 2016/08/11(Thu)22:38 No. 741692 ID: a73d2a
File 147098032934.png - (122.52KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer - 0003.png )

you are Helgan Goldthroat.

former heir to the Goldthroat Mining and Exotic Adult Goods company. You were disowned by your family when you it was discovered your dabblings in the forbidden art of Bimbomancy. You became a travelling magician shortly after and are paid greatly for your services.

>>741692
What kind of services?

Is the jail cell preventing use of magic?

>>741694
I'm guessing the glowing manacles do that.

No chance of seducing the guards to escape?

>>741695
Eunuchs, all of them. They take no chances with bimbomancers.

>>741661
>>741692
You don't have nearly enough pockets to be carrying a ton of sex toys.

...I guess that's what being a magician is for. So you can pull them out of thin air.

>you're wanted for high treason against the Empire.
So... did you actually commit high treason? No judging, but it affects your defense if we're trying to cover up the truth or prove genuine innocence.

Phi 2016/08/12(Fri)17:16 No. 741893 ID: 5cf9fa
File 147104740938.png - (152.24KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer - 0004.png )

>>741717
You wish they were eunuchs, they're less annoying. No these guys are part of the Brojan Legion, warriors selected from birth to epotimize the very essence of Masculinity. They are in fact so committed to the ideals of Manness that they barely acknowledge the existence of women except when nessicary. To them your about as sexy as a bag of potatos.

>>741783
Unless swaying an entire bar into a drunken orgy is suddenly High treason you cannot imagine anything you've done in the day since you've first arrived in this country that could count.

>>741893
>ultra-manly, thus not attracted to women


...what?

>>741893
>To them your about as sexy as a bag of potatos.
Are we talking like a bag of Russets or a bag of Yukon Golds?

>>741896
http://oglaf.com/son-of-kronar/

>>741898
(Someone gets it)

A dwarf without a beard. A shameful dwarf.

>>741898
Well alright then.

I guess we may as well cooperate for now. Gotta find out what they're even charging you with.

>>741900
Nay, Lad. The female of the species grows a beard around it's other lips.

Phi 2016/08/13(Sat)20:19 No. 742040 ID: 5cf9fa
File 147114476306.png - (107.83KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer - 0005.png )

You are lead out of your cell by another Brojan. This one has a tattoo of Mars' symbol on his shoulder.

"So what are you guys charging me for anyways?" You inquire

"Silence Prisoner!" He shouts in response

Phi 2016/08/13(Sat)20:26 No. 742041 ID: 5cf9fa
File 147114520685.png - (135.37KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer - 0006.png )

After a short walk you are lead into a more ornate room. You see a Human man getting a blowjob from a red haired women.

"Ah Bimbomancer, welcome. I hope the Brojans didn't treat you too roughly, I'm sure you understand that precautions must be taken when it comes someone like you."

"So whatre you charging me with?" you deadpan

"Straight to the point right, good." He smiles lightly in response

"Dixie you can stop now."

Phi 2016/08/13(Sat)20:32 No. 742044 ID: 5cf9fa
File 147114552463.png - (104.52KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer - 0007.png )

"Yes Master" Dixie coos

Shit you know that look. This girl got hit hard with the bimbo stick. She'd be lucky if she can count you reckon, getting turned that hard.

Phi 2016/08/13(Sat)20:45 No. 742046 ID: 5cf9fa
File 147114633384.png - (82.16KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer - 0008.png )

"I'll cut straight to the point then. I am Gaius Agrippa I run the Empires secret Service. Its my bussiness to know all the coming and goings with the Empire, especially pertaining to the Emperor himself."

"So what does that have to do with me."

"Well, we happen to know last night a Bimbomancer was seen by the Emperor personally for some kind of secret counsel. We also happen to know that you are the only Bimbomancer to enter our borders at this time. Now we dont know what the Emperor wanted and we dont care, what is known is that you would be held personally responsibly if anything happened to the Emperor. And that you would be held to the full extent of law and would be executed on the spot, do I make myself clear."

"Wait are you implying what I think you're implying?"

Defending ourself might be easier if we know if we HAD seen the emperor.

Oh shit, they think you turned the Emporer into Dixie don't they.

>>742048
No, they probably know we didn't, but as they couldn't catch the actual thief, we make a convenient scapegoat.

They want us to do some...ahem, wetwork.

>>742046
Insist you have nothing to do with anything that has befallen the Emperor. If you're the only foreign Bimbomancer then it must be one from inside their country, like whoever spelled up Dixie.

...HAS anything befallen the Emperor or are you just here in case something does?

Tell him that Bimbomancy was the logical (if somewhat 'disgusting') choice for political assassination; the Brojans are trained to ignore the call of Bimbomancy, so a Bimbomancer assassins get into a niche blind spot that allows them to hide in places where Brojans avert their gaze.

Seriously, every @#$%ing Knight Order; if they don't learn about (and practice, even) what they denounce, they're blind to artistic attacks from their enemies.

Which means that you were there to give the Empress anti-Bimbomancer defense training, so she could defend herself against an assassin-type that her Praetorian guard refused to prepare against. Simple.

>We also happen to know that you are the only Bimbomancer to enter our borders at this time.
The only known bimbomancer. It stands to reason anyone attempted anything against the Emperor, and/or attending a secret meeting, would not be open in their movements.

We both know I'm not guilty of whatever you're accusing me of, and that case is entirely circumstantial. I also know if you wanted to just use me as a convenient scapegoat, there's no reason for you to be talking to me. You could drag me right to the kangeroo court and subsequent execution.

The fact we're talking at all means you want me to do something for you. You're just trying to pile up leverage in advance so you don't have to pay me for it.

take control here, freeze the bimbofied cunt and lay it to him streight

Cast an escape spell

Phi 2016/08/17(Wed)21:12 No. 743024 ID: 5cf9fa
File 147149352425.png - (85.67KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer - 0009.png )

>The only known bimbomancer. It stands to reason anyone attempted anything against the Emperor, and/or attending a secret meeting, would not be open in their movements.

>We both know I'm not guilty of whatever you're accusing me of, and that case is entirely circumstantial. I also know if you wanted to just use me as a convenient scapegoat, there's no reason for you to be talking to me. You could drag me right to the kangeroo court and subsequent execution.

>The fact we're talking at all means you want me to do something for you. You're just trying to pile up leverage in advance so you don't have to pay me for it.

"Hmm you're smarter then you look." Agrippa grumbles

"Fine yes, We know it wasn't you. We are hoping that you could help us determine the identity of this Bimbomancer however.I am authorised to compensate you, though keep in mind we can make the threat of execution a reality."

Phi 2016/08/17(Wed)21:22 No. 743025 ID: 5cf9fa
File 147149416408.png - (146.66KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer - 00010.png )

"Do you have any leads?" You inquire

"Several. Before we had you arrested a member of the Venus Church was contacted to assess the situation. Bimbofication of this caliber can only casted by very powerful Bimbomancers , and in any case the caster has obscured their Truename so divination is pointless."

"This could mean quite a few suspects unfortunately, Martius has many enemies outside its walls and more then a few of them either employ powerful enough Bimbomancers to commit this act or certainly has the capacity to hire one that could."

Phi 2016/08/17(Wed)21:27 No. 743028 ID: 5cf9fa
File 147149447086.png - (95.50KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer - 00011.png )

"The mission is simple really, we need you to narrow down the list so that we can fix this."

"Simple as a needle in a needle stack then is it?" you deadpan back

"Exactly, also keeping in mind that should you fail you'll be hunted like a dog and executed for high treason."

"No pressure then."

"Excellent, well then here are your things, you can get started immediately." Agrippa motions to a table behind him with a sack on it.

Phi 2016/08/17(Wed)21:31 No. 743029 ID: 5cf9fa
File 147149466722.png - (63.57KB , 700x600 , Bimbomancer - 00012.png )

You hear the sound of something moving with in the sack.

A small winged eyeball escapes from the sack, flapping exhaustedly

"Oh my heavens, Ms' Goldthroat, you are alright. I was sure you a gonna when those Brojans stormed the bar. Bit of a sticky situation this is then, not that you're unaccustomed to though, eh?"

Phi 2016/08/17(Wed)21:34 No. 743031 ID: 5cf9fa
File 147149486957.png - (57.31KB , 700x600 , Bimbomacer Quest Lore.png )

This is [LORE], a sort of winged lexicon who follows you around.

They are knowledgeable on many subjects and can be used to answer many questions on your adventures

Simply say [LORE] along with a question and they'll answer it to the best of their ability.

[Lore] Scan "Dixie".
[Lore] Scan Agrippa (Wait, isn't that a girl's name? Eh, whatever.)
[Lore] Query: Bimbomancer Signals and Background Magic Radiation?

>>743034
Agrippa is exclusively masculine in historical usage, despite the -a. Also, given the description as a lexicon, I don't think it's guaranteed that Lore can actually scan anything.

"So, how about you start by telling me who these enemies actually were?"

>[Lore] Scan "Dixie".
Need I remind you again Ms' Goldthroat that I am not a magical detecting device. I can recount any information I have access to though, and you may add to my personal Library if you'd like.

>[Lore] Query: Bimbomancer Signals and Background Magic Radiation?
All Magical beings have a distinct Aura that is easily identified with a Detect Magic spell. In addition Bimbomancers often personalize their spell matrices with identifiable quirks or "flourishes" to sign their work.

Magic as an energy carries a distinct traceable "flavor" to it that can be detected, this radiation is measured in Thaum, and can be used to determined the presence of magic in a given area. Areas with high thaum count are generally avoided due to unforeseen polymorphic consequences.

[Lore] Tell us about the reign of the current Emperor. Special focus on major controversies and initiatives.

[Lore] Query: Bimbomancer Transformation Spells. Filter: X > Bromancer Praetorian Testosterone Wards.
[Lore] Query: Local Hotspots of Empire Capital.
[Lore] Query: Brojan History.
[Lore] Query: Venus Church History.
[Goldthroat] Check Inventory.

[Lore] Reversal / cure of bimbofication
[Lore] Bimbomance on bimbomancer combat
[Lore] Yourself (Aka Lore)
[Lore] My (Helgan's) own spells, stats, capabilities, inventory

>"Simple as a needle in a needle stack then is it?" you deadpan back
We just need a magnet, then.

>you can get started immediately
Can you offer me any resources in pursuit of this goal? If I'm going to hang if I fail anyways, no harm in giving me rope.