examine your office. what BUSINESS MATERIALS do you have lying around

>>708631
Verbally abuse and/or demean your assistant, who has no choice but to put up with your shit.

Get them to tell you what's on your docket for the day.

Get out your BUSINESS PAPERS.

acquire coffee.

Call your girlfriend SUSAN. See if she's available tonight to go to SUSAN's, the new restaurant downtown.

Yiff furiously

seconding a call to your girlfriend, SUSAN, but only after you've received your schedule from your beleaguered secretary/personal assistant.

thirded on calling SUSAN!

Karate chop your desk in half to show it who's the best at BUSINESS.

Do a flip

Do a business than

toc 2016/03/12(Sat)19:32 No. 708684 ID: bacacc
File 145783995097.png - (180.53KB , 1001x1018 , SUSAN2.png )

Your ASSISTANT, its long legs quivering under your mighty girth, produces a long SCHEDULE TICKET out of its mouth. You once had a talking assistant, one of the newer models, but it annoyed you more than anything and couldn't even raise you up to your desk properly. Very disappointing. You stormed back into the seller's store and demanded a full refund, a free pedicure at the local NAIL FURNISHING, and a written four-page apology for selling anything other than the finest quality products. You expect only perfection out of yourself, and you hold ALL OTHER LIVING BEINGS to that standard.

You squint with your many eyes and read the schedule.

"GREETINGS, SUSAN! YOU'RE LOOKING ESPECIALLY [[SHINY]]. TODAY YOU HAVE [[FIVE]] BUSINESS ACTIVITIES.

ONE: Oversee extrusion of the CURRENCY LIQUID.
TWO: Reprimand PETUNIA B. SARSAPARILLA for a negative value in SUIT FARMING.
THREE: Admire the mounted head of the last EXECUTIVE.
FOUR: Bribe GRISLY T. ARES, the DISGUSTING LITTLE MAN, into not revealing to the city the many crimes you committed to claw your way to the top.
FIVE: Attend birthday party of the SUPER EXECUTIVE.

Thank you, and have a GOOD [[FIELD:TIMEOFDAY]]!"

Ah yes. Plenty of good occupational pursuits today! You could do any of them in whatever order you wanted, because you are the EXECUTIVE and, frankly, you've earned it.

But for now, you need to call your beautiful, strong girlfriend SUSAN and make sure she's up for dinner tonight. To do that, you need to summon your executive telephone line out of the HOLE. The HOLE will take you out of your office, and summon objects out of its storage sac. No matter how many times you use it, the hairy feelers still squick you out. Just a bit.

toc 2016/03/12(Sat)19:32 No. 708685 ID: bacacc
File 145783997323.png - (296.18KB , 1001x1018 , SUSAN3.png )

Your ASSISTANT lets you down onto your immaculately polished flooring. You go to the HOLE and ask for the telephone.

The HOLE hacks up the telephone and you dial in SUSAN's phone number. Despite your heavy measures of self-confidence and ego, she still makes your heart a-flutter. You have been happily together for four months now.

The phone rings.
.
.
.
"Hello?" You can hear distant JAZZ through the speaker. "Who is this?"
"HA! Who couldn't it be? It's me, SUSAN!"
"Oh, goodness! Well, hello, SUSAN! It's me, SUSAN!"
"Yeah, yeah, I knew that, ya lug." You say this as affectionately as your heavy NEWCH YORCAGO ACCENT will allow. SUSAN giggles. "That's why I called ya!"
The JAZZ stops. "Sorry, I'm in the middle of a recital. What did you call about, sweetie?"
Ah, yes, SUSAN with her many limbs and mouths in which to play JAZZ with. Just the thought of her playing can sometimes get you through a particularly unprofessional day. "Well. Think of it like this. You. Me. SUSAN's. Tonight. Howsa 'bout it, sugarlumps?"
SUSAN takes a thoughtful moment to consider, playfully. You know she has looked forward to this night for a week.
"Oh, SUSAN! You know I'd say yes."
"Great. I've got some BUSINESS to take care of, so I gotta go. You keep practicin' that JAZZ, alright?"

You both say your goodbyes. You hang up. Time to be PROFESSIONAL.

the mounted head is right there, so let's give it a look! might as well do things in order of physical proximity.

Polish the placard beneath the head

head first, currency liquid second!

The HEAD! The HEAD!

Former Executive SUSAN's head is right there, so let's admire it.

toc 2016/03/12(Sat)21:39 No. 708722 ID: bacacc
File 145784753987.png - (230.52KB , 819x990 , SUSAN4.png )

The head of the last EXECUTIVE displays itself proudly on your wall. Too proudly, for your tastes, which is why you later added the CLOWN NOSE to give the bastard a little humility.

In the world of the future, you gotta OUT-BUSINESS the competition in a fair game to move up the corporate ladder. You, of course, won, which is why MAXIMILLIAN J. LAX was dethroned and is now an ornament on your office wall. When you're feeling rather unprofessional and wondering what it's all for, you go to this CLOWN-NOSED LOSER to remind you why you worked so hard to become the best BUSINESSWOMAN there ever was.

Lately, you've been experiencing DISILLUSIONMENT, the most feared affliction of all, so today you polish the placard beneath your former superior (HA!). As you polish, your head refills with dreams of success and lots of money. Much better!

If only you were yet strong enough to out-business the SUPER EXECUTIVE. Then you'd have TWO heads. And that's more than one!

>>708722
Right, feeling good. Let's make someone else feel bad.

On to the reprimand!

how can you get stronger? also, what is the source of the DISILLUSIONMENT? polishing the placard seems like a bit of a bandaid solution tbh, and it might be better to try to destroy the root of the problem.