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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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697233 No. 697233 ID: 2a2f8a

Down from Highest Goblin Peak,
Across the craggy mountain's sweep,
There came to be in morning's mist,
A GOBLIN! Lo! With Wonder Whist!

Handharp was the Goblin's name,
And it the young minstrel became.
For in his HAND a HARP there twanged,
And here's the song that Handharp sang:

"O to be green and goblin be!
To Gob about in Greenest Glee!
I've been a goblin all my days,
And to GOBLINS there's no higher praise!

"I come of age in Goblin Tribe,
And in this time of Goblins' lives,
Away they trek! Across the world!
With Hearts all full and fingers curled,

TO MESS THINGS UP FOR EVERYONE ELSE
AND PISS THEM OFF TILL THEIR EYES MELT
What kind of GOBLIN would I be
If Humans didn't DESPISE me?"
Expand all images
>>
No. 697234 ID: 2a2f8a
File 145378504623.png - (507.26KB , 960x560 , 2.png )
697234

But lo, Young Handharp! Cease your prancing!
You have little time for dancing!
For what did our young Goblin see
Winding through the Goblin Lees?

An INTERLOPER LOPING THROUGH
With pauldron bone and leather shoe!
Who dared invade the goblin land
With a whopping longsword in his hand!
>>
No. 697235 ID: 2a2f8a
File 145378505440.png - (514.40KB , 960x560 , 3.png )
697235

A HOBGOBLIN this thing proved to be,
And GOBLIN's greatest enemy!
For when in ways Hob and Gob meet,
There's scarce a moment aft they greet

Before a head or arm is chopped!
With 50 thousand million mops
You could not clean the gory tide
That has been shed by either side.

And on this Hob's great scaly back,
There was a little canvas sack,
Which squirmed and bounced and shook and jived,
As though within was one alive.

Handharp took in this eerie sight,
And thought to himself, fight or flight?
The big Hob had not seen him yet,
And there'd be trouble when he did; you bet!
>>
No. 697236 ID: f56624

>>697235
"Yo hob, want to join this gob in fucking with the pinkies?"
This will be a tale of unification against a common foe
>>
No. 697237 ID: 5ad4a7

>>697235
FUCK HIM UP
>>
No. 697241 ID: f2461f

Play the saddest song you know and while the hob is busy bawling his eyes out slit his throat.
>>
No. 697248 ID: fa8f9d

>>697236
This is the best week to say fuck the norm and do whatever
>>
No. 697249 ID: 3a9db6

Handharp, stand down, desist, and pause,
to harm this man, you have no cause.

For you are neither thick of arm,
nor ample armed to do him harm.

The minstrel's life is sundry grand,
to love and dream across the land.

But now's no time to strum the lute,
HANDHARP HIDE YOURSELF FROM THIS BRUTE
>>
No. 697253 ID: 2a2f8a
File 145379004013.png - (540.85KB , 960x560 , 5.png )
697253

Quashing the urge to rush his foe
(Or, madder still, to say hello!)
Handharp did smartly hide away
There to his beefy foe survey.

He watched the Hob sit him a spell,
And sigh, and scratch his biceps fell,
And pick his nose, and crack his back,
And then to open up his sack.

And what was in that canvas shroud,
But a GOBLIN GIRL, nose turned up proud!
Her hands all bound with velvet rope,
And in the clutches of this dope!

"Soon, my sweet, we shall away!"
These words the Hob was heard to say.
"To where our love need never hide,
And I your groom! And you my bride!"

"Again, I object heartily,"
The Gob girl says, but "Joyous Be!"
Her proud fiancee interrupts.
"What joy must lie in wait for us!

"And must it not be through that joy
The blood feud 'twixt our tribe destroy,
And must not our highest holy vows
A reigning time of peace allow?"

"OK," she says, "but here's the thing.
Hobgoblins suck. So do their rings.
And their wedding parties doubly suck.
And you would look shit in a Tux.

"So untie this shit and let me go."
The Hobgoblin laughs. "O, my love, no!
For in Kingdom Hob, at wane of light,
We two shall be as one! Tonight!"
>>
No. 697254 ID: 2a2f8a
File 145379004729.png - (646.08KB , 960x560 , 4.png )
697254

>>
No. 697255 ID: f56624

>>697253
sneak up and bite his dick
>>
No. 697257 ID: 5ad4a7

>>697254
Stab him in the privates.
>>
No. 697259 ID: 8aa7ad

Sneak up and stick that Hob rat!
>>
No. 697264 ID: 7b7ab3

While my first instinct is to carve this scum into itty pieces it might be wiser to wait for an opportunity to kill him sneaky like.
>>
No. 697305 ID: 2a7417

Filled with strength of righteous rage,
you'll free the lass from her (metaphorical) cage,
The path of greatest strength you'll pick,
you'll simply kick him in the dick.
>>
No. 697331 ID: 171e1d

Some ugly Hob filth.
Trying to shag a Gob lass.
Slit his nasty throat.
>>
No. 697333 ID: 99a64d

He's like twice your size, the time honored goblin tradition of sneak attack is the only option. How far is the hob village? If it's far enough we could wait until he makes camp and kill him in his sleep.
>>
No. 697372 ID: 4e4f2c

SNEAK ATTACK DICKPUNCH FU
>>
No. 697592 ID: 2a2f8a
File 145392955352.png - (541.24KB , 960x560 , 6.png )
697592

Full of righteous indignation,
Bent on the girl's emancipation,
Handharp crept from brushwood thick
To stab the Huge Hob in the dick!

But no sooner were the privates near
Enough for him to try and spear
When a mighty mitt descended down
And plucked poor Handharp off the ground!

"Who are you," quoth bulky foe,
"Who from the shadows sneaking go
To try to sever off my tool?
Just who are you, ill-fated fool?"

Handharp's throat was very dry
His limbs all shook; his eyes were wide.
For he knew with his next breath
What he said meant life or death.

But in the Hobgob's other fist,
The girl was also thinking this.
SUNCAST was she, and she did ponder
How to save this kinsman yonder.

>You may now give Suncast commands too!
>>
No. 697594 ID: 5ad4a7

>>697592
Husband and wife!

He cannot marry her, she is already taken!
>>
No. 697598 ID: 7b7ab3

Suncast: Say he's your brother and that you'll never forgive the Hob if he harms him.
>>
No. 697599 ID: c2318b

"Hi there! Name's Handharp, discount mohel. Sorry about that! Got a little too enthusiastic."
>>
No. 697667 ID: f20f1b

!! >>697598
>>
No. 697696 ID: c2318b

>>697598
Okay, being serious! This.
>>
No. 697822 ID: 40f16b

Claiming that they're friends or relatives and that Suncast will be proper sore if Handharp is hurt seems like the best bet.

Then again, the Hob may just kill Handharp for funsies.
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