You are a 17 years of age and a boy! And after 17 long boring years, you are free in a new large city! Now you are on a quest! A quest to work at a cafe! It may sound boring, but ever since you were a little kid, you`ve always wanted to! But first, you need a name, it`s bad enough that your appearance is striking, but if you keep your real name they`ll find you! Now choose a name and an action!
You're name is Brock Johnson, punch yourself in the face!
You would.... rather not punch yourself, you`re really weak, so you might break your nose... also people might think you`re crazy... that`s why you had to leave. B-but! Brock Johnson sounds like a nice name! You`ll go with that!
Now who'll find you? If we're to help you avoid them we'll need to know.
Tell the voices in your head your secrets.
Count currency and if you are able go mask shopping. If you are unable to acquire a mask, go eat a bagel.
Burn down a cafe and claim it as your own! This will also say to the other shops, "DON'T MESS WITH ME!". You'll be a hit in days!
>>624036 Yes, good! Resist the crazier suggestions! Now go find the yellow pages, or a computer (try the library)! Also, do you have any money?
You must first learn the art of coffee before you work at a cafe. Learn the different kinds of coffee. Taste the different kinds of coffee. Travel the world. Become the coffee master. Only then, will you be able to work at a cafe. And your cafe will be the best cafe.
"They" consist of your family, your 3 fathers, your mother, your brother, and the hospital staff in which took care of you since you were just a newborn. You have 900 dollars, AKA your entire allowance over the course of most of your life. (Sorry for being gone for so long!)
Well our first step should probably be to find some affordable living spaces first, then we can locate employment oppurtunities.
Is your heart set on a cafe or have you considered a gelateria or bubble tea shop
Why has the hospital staff been taking care of you since you were born? That seems to be an awful long time to be taken care of by a hospital... are you ok, health-wise?
Good idea, as you walk around the city trying to find a place to stay, you begin to fully explain your situation. One. You are positive you want to work at a Cafe! Two. No, you`re not ok health wise, in fact there`s a good chance you could drop dead in anywhere to a few minutes to two years or so.
Got any meds to take for that? Is it a heart problem or something? Also, why is one of your fathers Sanic?
One. THAT`S RACIST AS FUCK! Not all hedgehogs are Sonic, what the hell man?! Two. You were just, born bad, rotten. Your body can`t handle anything, in fact a minor cold could kill you. You haven't even grown right! You have no pigment! You`re all white!
>>627972 ............*Cough*
good to know. Also I who the hell is that behind you?
??? What? This city is full of people who specifically?
>>628017 We specifically meant the one person who appears to be looming directly behind you.
you should look for a doctor... perhaps that guy behind you is one?
Hey, hey kid Wanna buy some love?
>>628064 Um, no, thanks. Sorry, didn't realize I'd wandered into the red light district.
Does it come with a free STD?
Oh no, not THAT kind of love, friend. I mean THIS kind! The man pulls out a bottle of pink stuff, the tag reads "Inno" I promise you this is the real deal! 100% real innocent puppy love! Like nothing you`ve ever tasted before!
Back away slowly. Tell the nice merchant that you're willing to take on courier jobs but otherwise you want to increase the distance between you and that bottle of canine-based hepatitis-infested absinthe. And say "Please and good day".
You do just that, but the man is persistent. "You sure kid? You look pretty sickly, you`re parents been feeding you right? Come on! Sample taste is free~"
"It's not because of them that I look like this good sir. Thank you for your offer, and good day!" Say that and walk the other way!
We are most certainly very sure my good sir. Is there anybody else around to see this creeper pestering you?
You do just that, but the man is following you.
When you look around, you don`t see many people...
There has to be a more populated area somewhere around here, try to find one.
As you quicken your pace you try to find a more crowded are- *BAM* You slam into someone very, very, big.
Say your apology to the hopefully nice bear.
What the fuck do you think you`re doing?
"running from someone trying to sell me love, sorry i wasn't watching where i was going"
"I'm sorry, I was running from a drug dealer! That weirdo was trying to sell me 'True Love'! What IS that stuff, anyway?!" If the merchant is still behind you, please ask the bear if he can help you out.
GODAMNIT ROSS! STOP HARASSING KIDS, YOU`RE SCARING THE POOR GIRL!
"so uhhh, can i go now?"
Yeah sure kid just gimmie a sec and I`ll take you home to your parents! WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT BOTHERING YOUNG CHILDREN! IF YOU WANT TO SELL THAT SHIT, SELL THEM TO THEIR PARENTS!! Awwww, but she looked so sickly, even for a kid. SHE`S LIKE FUCKING TEN YOU ASS Don`t swear around children!
try to sneak past them while they argue
Sneak away while they argue. You don't want drugs, but you also don't want to be taken back to your parents.
Either sneak away, or excuse yourself, saying that you are in a hurry, in this case, say thanks to the stranger. (also, it may be good to explain that you are, in fact, male.)
Time to be a ninja.
I`m a boy sir.... and I`m 17, I`m not a kid... They look at you like your insane.
Yeah no, kid you`re coming with me, there`s no way you`re 17. God help me.
Say that you are in a really hurry right now, if he could let you go, just this time. Remember to look cute and look at him in the eyes, just to be sure. In case of this failing, act like it were some kind of kidnap.
Be a no good pickpocket and take his wallet.
Provide the necessary ID (or fake ID) to convince the bear otherwise. Also say you're looking to get hired in a cafe, bear seems like a rough but good guy.
You assure the man that you are indeed 17. HAH! I like this kid, can I take him?
Hell to the no. In other words, BITCH YOU BETTER STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
ok, if we have to choose, we better go with the bear... Where is he going to take us anyway?
Okay, look, I appreciate the help with the creep over there but this whole rounding my age down is getting kind of annoying. If I were gonna lie about my age I'd pick a number that qualified me for booze!
Look, kid, didn't we tell you to get away from these creepos? Maybe you should try to get to some place public with lots of people around to keep them from doing something bad. Or if something bad does happen, a lot of people at least can help you.