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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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618942 No. 618942 ID: 445ff6

This time I've got it for sure!

No more being the bottom kobold in the pile! No more getting kicked around! This time I know just what will make me the most beloved kobold in the entire tribe!
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No. 618943 ID: 445ff6
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618943

It's so simple! I can't believe I'd never thought of it before.

All I have to do is sneak into the lizard camp in the next valley over from us, lift some of their "war spoils" or whatever, and sneak back out to our caves!

I mean, it's not like they need it for anything. Besides, they're so dumb I bet they won't even notice. If they weren't so big there wouldn't be any redeeming qualities to lizards at all.
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No. 618949 ID: a2aa40

Good plan! You know how to do things, right? What makes you think you can pull this off?
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No. 618950 ID: c976bc

Do you even know how to sneak?
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No. 618959 ID: 8f3b8c

you don't even have a backpack to carry war spoils in, let alone a knife, some lockpicks or some rope. that's like the minimum requirement for adventuring. I recommend you head back home and cry over what a failure you are.
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No. 619021 ID: 033aac

>>618959
Now let's not be hasty, we can still salvage this plan. Now, you started with barely anything, that means you need to rely on your skills to procure your tools in the field. Do you remember your CQC training?
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No. 619028 ID: 0cd359

You're probably going to end up running a lot. Are you ready to get in the best shape of your life?
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No. 619052 ID: 69ab8d

Do you even have a sack to carry spoils in, yet?

Also, a lantern is kind of bad for sneaking. Even dumb lizards could see it from far away, unless they're also blind.

>This time I know just what will make me the most beloved kobold in the entire tribe!
How do you know the meanies who have kicked you before will belove you when you return home with war spoils? They won't just kick you around and take the stuff for themselves?

>>618943
Haha, our status screen is a game and watch style LCD. I approve.
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No. 619060 ID: e31d12

Lizards are so stupid. This is going to be ridiculously easy. Soon you'll have the respect you deserve!

Start walking toward the camp. In the meantime, daydream about what you're going to do with all your newfound riches.
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No. 619061 ID: eb959a

Who the fuck is running this quest? What ever, go with what works I guess. Ib4 lizard sex slave.
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No. 619065 ID: 9a8629

>>619061

judging by the trip, it's Typo.
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No. 619086 ID: 9b9ee7

>>618943
don't get eaten
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No. 619328 ID: 445ff6
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619328

>Do you even know how to sneak?
I'm a kobold. It's in my blood!

>What makes you think you can do this?
More than anything else, lizards are dumb. It's not like this is my first time stealing from them. They just have more treasure than usual right now — but not enough that anyone else in the tribe has noticed yet, which is good for me!

>How do you know you'll be beloved?
We're a kobold tribe. If I bring home a bunch of stuff, the whole tribe benefits! And anyone who could benefit the tribe like that would get respect no matter what else.

>You're probably going to end up running a lot.
Running away and hiding is every kobold's backup plan. We're not the fastest, but we can fit in small spaces, and that's good enough most of the time. I'm pretty sure I've got this.

>Don't get eaten.
Lizards don't eat kobolds!

I think?

>You don't even have a backpack.
>Do you even have a sack to carry spoils in?
Sure I do. That's what I was in this cave to get! Didn't want anyone to catch on to what I was up to.

>A lantern is kind of bad for sneaking.
The lantern is just so I can navigate caves. The lizards are outside! Even when it's night I can see well enough outdoors.

It's not like I need a lot of supplies, though. The lizard camp is seriously right over there.
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No. 619329 ID: 445ff6
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619329

See? It took me like five minutes to get over here.

Now, I know I'm not sneaky enough to get past that wall in the front when the guards don't have anywhere else to look. That's, like, magic-level stuff.

But I thought about this already! The way I see it, I can try to bluff my way past the guards. It's not exactly my strong suit, but, again, dumb lizards. I figure the worst-case scenario is they tell me to just buzz off — after all, I'm small even for a kobold, so I'm about the least threatening thing they can think of.

Alternately, I have it on good authority that there's at least one back way into this valley if I climb around the outside — the sort of way that a lizard would never even think of. To them it'd just look like some kind of hole or gap they couldn't even fit one leg into, I bet.
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No. 619332 ID: 3628a3

I think I see one, try going there, or if it is not, go through the back way. Though lizards may be stupid, they can get lucky.
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No. 619334 ID: bd1216

what'cha got in the bag?

also, you're talking about that sewery looking side grate over there.
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No. 619335 ID: a3ee32

>>619328
>And anyone who could benefit the tribe like that would get respect no matter what else.
>no matter what else
...Did you do something?
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No. 619339 ID: 69ab8d

>>Do you even know how to sneak?
>I'm a kobold.
Sorry, we were trying not to be racist.

>See? It took me like five minutes to get over here.
It's important they don't notice anything missing then, if the thieving local suspects are so close. Last thing the tribe needs is the lizards showing up and kicking people around and breaking stuff.

>bluff in?
How did you get in before? Is there the chance the guards will remember you? Maybe you could build off a prior bluff (acting like you belong). Or if they're going to be upset if they recognize you after past thefts, bluffs are bad.
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No. 619384 ID: 01745f

Try the sewage grate. There is also a tree, but that leaves you without an escape route.
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No. 619398 ID: ea0ad9

>Maybe you could build off a prior bluff (acting like you belong).
If they don't know that you've stolen from them before, and you have been seen inside in the past, that may just work. In that case, I would proritize that idea, and the sewer grate second.
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No. 620721 ID: 445ff6
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620721

>Did you do something?
It's not so much that I "did something" as it is that I didn't do things. When kobolds are growing up, at least in my tribe, the adults look out for anyone who has signs of one or another talent or skill. Anyone left over after that ends up as, well, just another kobold, below everyone else in social standing, which is where I ended up.

I mean, we're not useless or anything. We still get training in the stuff everyone is expected to do. But someone who makes good tools, or knows a lot about medicinal plants, or is excellent at sneaking around, or has some natural magic talent, or whatever, is going to get more respect. And pretty much all of those things either require natural abilities I don't really have or training I never really got.

But if I can bring home a big bag of gold, I'll definitely get respect for that!

>What'cha got in the bag?
Uh, not much right now. I brought it so I could put stuff in it!

>It's important they don't notice anything missing, then.
I know from personal experience these lizards don't keep good track of their spoils. Unique stuff, sure, but they tend to end up with less of that and more along the lines of coins and rings and stuff. They can't really tell any of it apart, and they certainly aren't good at math.
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No. 620722 ID: 445ff6
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620722

>Will they recognize you if you try to bluff them?
I don't know if they really know me, specifically. They know of our tribe, of course, but they don't really view us as a credible threat. The wall used to be a lot less impressive, which helped with getting in.

>Bluff, or try the back way?
... still, I can't be totally sure that one of them might not have seen me before. I don't really look that unusual, but there aren't too many kobolds as small as me...

>Try the sewage grate
... why did they even build this? Lizards are dumb sometimes, I swear. This is even better than a random hole or something, though.
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No. 620723 ID: 445ff6
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620723

Well, that was easy.

Now, I'm pretty sure one of these bigger tents is the one I'm looking for. I'm not really sure which one it is, though...
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No. 620739 ID: 9b9ee7

>>620723
Go for the one on your left!


No your other left!
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No. 620740 ID: 196d1b

If you hold your head up to the side of them you can probably hear if there's people inside. You might be able to peek under the edge to check for sure, too, but only do that if you don't hear anyone.
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No. 620742 ID: a18f15

Avoid anything that sounds like it has a bunch of people inside.

Look for one that's guarded, maybe? They probably don't trust each other with the treasure either.
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No. 620768 ID: 46df9e

Check the tent with the barrel right outside it, after listening for occupants of course. With any luck the tent had so much swag in it they had to leave the barrel outside.
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No. 620801 ID: f5baae

>>620723
Stay away from the eyes of any potential Lizard, if you're seen, you are absolutely done for. Go towards the most quiet tent.
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No. 620872 ID: 00349e

If you're seen, you can probably incorporate the argument, "I'm in here, so I must have gone by the guards, right? So I must be supposed to be here." into whatever explanation you use.
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