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File 141075303412.png - (483.53KB , 712x534 , Closet 1.png )
594186 No. 594186 ID: 189a54

7:00 in the morning and I wake up all confused,
I'm not sure what I gotta do next but I gotta get back to you...
16 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 594407 ID: 189a54
File 141091844477.png - (563.75KB , 712x540 , Closet 8.png )
594407

Now I'm here, staring at him,
And he's here, staring at me,
And cray *BOOOP* is like "Picked up the biscuits,
"Does anyone want me to make them some tea?"


And the husband's like "Not now babe,
"That's just a little too late."

Turns to me like "I'll just ask you once
"What the *BOOOOP* are you doing in my house with a gun?"

>>
No. 594409 ID: c1de71

Listen: I just wanna get back to my wife, not her, someone else. I can't tell you why I'm here because I sure don't remember what happened to me before! All I know is this woman said something about giving me drugs, at best!
then...And this will be scary...but put the gun down. this is crazy but if everyone calms down maybe we can figure out what happened and how you're gonna get back to your wife.
>>
No. 594422 ID: 2fd516

Dude your wife drugged me, I don't remember how I got here.
>>
No. 594423 ID: 3009b4

It is never too late for biscuits and tea. Also your husband probably has a gay lover on the side. I'm just say'n.
>>
No. 594460 ID: 879a42

The quest where we cant do the one thing that the quest implies is gonna happen. Also shoot him in the balls.

For your own safety of course.
>>
No. 594502 ID: 189a54
File 141098423384.png - (1.12MB , 1024x768 , Closet 9.png )
594502

I inch so I'm closer to him,
And I'm like "*BOOOOOP* I'll just tell the truth,
"I don't know how I even got here,
"Your wife *BOOOOOP*ing drugged me, dude."


And then I gather my courage,
To say what I need to say,
Saying "Look why don't we put these guns down,
"Don't wanna have to shoot someone in the balls today--"


But the husband's just laughing,
Pulls back the hammer like "*BOOOOP* cut the bull*BOOOOOP*!"
"My wife's never touched a drug,
"And you're trying to say that she deals it?"


And now my mind's racing,
His trigger finger's looking tight!
Cray *BOOOOOP* is now scooting out what's she doing,
Trying to sneak out and dodge this fight?!
>>
No. 594510 ID: cbbe9c

"To be honest? I don't remember any of last night, that's the story I heard, maybe that's a cover for something worse, I don't know. I DO know if either of us start shooting, we'll both regret it, I'm sure. I don't want to play that game, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose no matter what happens next after that."
>>
No. 594512 ID: 3009b4

Let's all get at those BISCUITS!
>>
No. 594516 ID: d8a627

>"My wife's never touched a drug,
>"And you're trying to say that she deals it?"
Hell if I know what's going on. Maybe she's covering something up, defending somebody, or maybe she didn't know what she was doing, and it was an accident. What I do know is what she told me, and that she seemed afraid that I was going to cause trouble.
Screw that shit. You think I want to be here? I don't. I don't even give a shit what you two have going on here or what you do after this, I just want to get back home to my girl.
>>
No. 594648 ID: 189a54
File 141107332791.png - (374.29KB , 712x540 , Closet 10.png )
594648

And I'm up in his face now!
All like "Look I don't give a *BOOOOOP*!"
"I don't know what the *BOOOP*'s going on here,
"I just want my wife and some mother*BOOOOOP*ing BISCUITS!"


And he's like "You feel lucky?
"'Cause you're like fixing to get shot!"
And I'm like "*BOOOOP let's just do this,
"I want to go home so your *BOOOOP*'s getting dropped!"


"I Just wanted to go home,
"And go drink up some tea!
"I just wanted to see my damn boo--"


"That's right he wanted to see me!"

>>
No. 594650 ID: 189a54
File 141107369275.png - (583.76KB , 712x540 , Closet 11.png )
594650

The gun just drops from his hand,
And he slowly turns to his wife
Like "Boo did you just say something?
"Did...did I just hear you right?"


Cray *BOOOOP* sort of smirks with her biscuits
Like "*BOOOP* what did you expect?
"I don't care if you are a deacon,
"The facts of it are you're just awful in bed!"


And he's reeling from that pack,
Half-crying to me he chokes out,
"Man the *BOOOP* like is this true or what,
"The *BOOOP* are you playing, what's this all about?!"

>>
No. 594660 ID: 20a67d

"...Really.
You apparently bring me here despite having a man already, fine.
We bust out the guns and you don't want to be around for that, I can understand that, I don't wanna get popped either. And you want to break up with your man? Fine.
But I've got my own girl at my own home and I'd like to get back to both of those so if you don't mind I'm out!"
And take a biscuit but don't eat it. Dat chick's not just cray-cray, she straight up drinking the cray juice!
>>
No. 594694 ID: 3009b4

Sit down. Eat biscuits. Let's eat the damn biscuits. EAT THEM! EAT THEM ALL!

Also I'd just like to point out that most issues in the bedroom can be solved through compromise and communication. He's not a mind reader, she needs to tell him what she wants. If she's not willing to do that, you two go exchange notes. Unless you were too drugged to remember anything.
>>
No. 594877 ID: 879a42

Why don't we see if we can calm things down.

(Things are gonna go wrong, and this is gonna be groundhog day all over I just know it. Also, biscuit quest!)
>>
No. 595041 ID: 189a54
File 141129862133.png - (617.22KB , 712x540 , Closet 12.png )
595041

I fire two shots in the air, and
I'm just like "*BOOOOOP* just calm down!
"I got my own girl in my own *BOOOP* house,
"And I'm needing them, so I swear I'm out!"


"Man I didn't sleep with your *BOOOOOOP* wife,
"If I did it was 'cause of her drug!
"Now Imma leave you two to work it out,
"'Cause I'm almost goin' off like a mo*BOOOOP*ing thug!"


Then I walk to THE BISCUITS
Looking down at THE BISCUITS
And I pick up A BISCUIT
But god*BOOOOOP* it they're probably drugged as *BOOOOOP*!
>>
No. 595042 ID: 189a54
File 141129880401.png - (610.79KB , 712x540 , Closet 13.png )
595042

And now I'm almost out the door with a biscuit,
And husband calls from far in the room like "Wait,
"If you're gonna break a home like this,
"You can't at least stay for something I wanna say?"

>>
No. 595047 ID: 879a42

''No, I got what I came for.'' And just leave.
>>
No. 595054 ID: 97ceaf

"Assuming it isn't you about to shoot me, alright."
>>
No. 595061 ID: 3009b4

Isn't someone's cell supposed to ring revealing they've been hitting it on the down low? Also, eat biscuit. Also, give hubby biscuit. Then hug hubby. He needs it.
>>
No. 595863 ID: 0e09e2

This could all be resolved if some mother*BOOP*ers would calm the fuck down and eat some biscuits.
>>
No. 595867 ID: 189a54
File 141169962292.png - (550.25KB , 712x540 , Closet 14.png )
595867

I toss the man a biscuit,
But I ain't going for no hug!
And I'm like "Man if you won't shoot me,
"Go on then and talk to me bruh!"

"Look I got something important,
"But first I just gotta use my phone!"

Man am I really gonna wait for this fool?!
I've already been here way to *BOOOOOOP*ing long!
>>
No. 595877 ID: 892b4f

Well crap.
"Fine...But make it quick, my boo's prolly missing me too!"
>>
No. 595884 ID: 436cdc

"Fine, but I swear to shit if you call the cops on my ass I am suing both you and your cray-ass wife for kidnapping and emotional damages."
>>
No. 595904 ID: 879a42

This is bullshit. Leave. Persue normalcy and tasty biscuit eating.
>>
No. 596120 ID: 189a54
File 141184083002.png - (685.76KB , 712x540 , Closet 15.png )
596120

Against my better judgment,
I'm like "You got two minutes, tops!
"Go ahead, use that *BOOOOOP* phone,
"But you'd best not be calling no cops!"


And he dials like fast, and
He tells me "Wait one second,"
And I swear this is what happened,
>>
No. 596122 ID: 189a54
File 141184092866.png - (599.52KB , 712x540 , Closet 16.png )
596122

A MAN JUMPS OUT THE CABINET,
Cabinet,
cabinet
>>
No. 596123 ID: 06cd1e

Dawg, don't tell me I was on canidid camera extreme edition. This is...This is just too much. How many busicuits did I have!?
>>
No. 596127 ID: d8a627

>>596122
...Lady, just how the hell many men did you bring to this place?
>>
No. 596134 ID: 3009b4

It's the dude he's hitt'n on the down-low. I bet the red-head's the bottom.
>>
No. 596175 ID: 879a42

There is some serious echo whenever I hear CABINET Cabinet cabinet. Also who in the fuck is he?
>>
No. 597266 ID: 189a54
File 141243766479.png - (595.91KB , 712x510 , Closet 17.png )
597266

And I say "Cray bitch,
"I know this man's here for you,
"'Cause if I'm right with what I'm thinkin
"I don't know what I'm gonna do..."


And the dude says "Please,
"I know it's hard to understand,
"But look, my name is Frank,
"And for real sir, I am this dude's man!


And I'm like "Bullshit dude,
"This is some heavy frickin' stuff!
And then I point my gun at him like
"And you better just duck your head nigga,
"'Cause I'm about to blow up!"


And then he says "Wait, wait!
"Don't you want to know the truth of this man's spouse?!"

Bitch I don't! Am I really not going?!
Not gatting this nig and getting out this house?!
>>
No. 597271 ID: 879a42

Just fucking leave. Don't even say anything just turn and leave. Fuck this house, fuck those guys, fuck those bisc- okay well grab a biscuit but FUCK everything else.
>>
No. 597275 ID: 474675

Oh fine, maybe this will be funny enough to be worth waiting further for. But frankly, this I hope will be the craziest thing I ever experience!
>>
No. 597348 ID: 189a54
File 141251392957.png - (606.44KB , 712x499 , Closet 18.png )
597348

Now I've had far enough shit!
And I'm all like, "This is fucked as hell!
"Now I'm gonna just leave, right now,
"Before I do somethin' stupid and go to jail!"


And I look at THE BISCUITS
Untrusting of THE BISCUITS
But I grab up THE BISCUITS
Then I leave with SOME BISCUITS
>>
No. 597349 ID: 189a54
File 141251426937.png - (682.76KB , 712x540 , Closet 19.png )
597349

And now I'm on the road,
Still shaken by all the shit I just heard!
I just wanted to get up and just chill,
Instead I caught up in something absurd!

Now I'm sort of pondering,
Just where did I want to go now?
My buddy Quan just got out of jail today,
But boo's probably home having a cow...
>>
No. 597350 ID: 3c25b3

Best to be easing your boo's worries.
>>
No. 597354 ID: 879a42

Go see Quan, you need a bro to talk to about all this cray BOOPing shiz goin on, maybe offer a biscuit but let him know the broad who baked em is like totally cray tho.
>>
No. 597386 ID: 3009b4

BOOO! We missed story time :(
>>
No. 597913 ID: 189a54
File 141306334295.png - (316.02KB , 712x500 , Closet 20.png )
597913

So I head to the bus stop,
And Quan's already waiting outside,
He's like "Bruh, what's been keeping you?"
I say "You won't believe what I survived!"
>>
No. 597915 ID: 189a54
File 141306362951.png - (598.06KB , 712x500 , Closet 21.png )
597915

Meanwhile cut back to the room
While I tell Quan what just happened,
Cray bitch scoffs, and says,
"Someone had better explain, and real quick, my friend..."
>>
No. 597919 ID: 3c53ab

we should have stayed around, shouldn't we.
[Hubby]...What? You mean to tell me that was all made up or something?
[Wife]Tell me why you putting up with me when you's really the type to swing for other guys!?
>>
No. 598033 ID: 189a54
File 141315670267.png - (532.62KB , 710x510 , Closet 22.png )
598033

And then Steve and cray bitch,
They start to chew each other out,
Frank's like "Can't we talk about it--"
Cray bitch says "I don't wanna hear your bitch mouth!"

Now Frank is all confused,
What could he add to this?
Turn it around, drop dirt on cray bitch,
Or should he just go and explain what he did?
>>
No. 598068 ID: 3c53ab

a thought: Why does she care? Wasn't she trying to drop this guy for that other dude for a bit there?
And ASSUMING this guy isn't bi and trying to get the best of both worlds, we could probably explain what we ACTUALLY did, instead of jumping to conclusions like Frank here was doing earlier.
>>
No. 598167 ID: 3009b4

EAT BISCUITS.

Also this is about as far as the song that I know if. I know there's something about a dude comes home, big confrontation, and then guy calls up and it's revealed he's hitting it on the down low.

So eat biscuits, group hug, talk about relationships. Then call up a talk show.
>>
No. 598186 ID: 879a42

Stress will be removed if biscats are crammed into thy face.

EAT THE BISCUTS. (I wanna see what happens.)
>>
No. 599291 ID: 189a54
File 141419490526.png - (378.17KB , 712x510 , Closet 23.png )
599291

But Frank ain't very good with pressure,
And he starts shaking and stepping back!
And as the camera cuts back to Tavron,
It looks like he's having some panic attack!
>>
No. 599292 ID: 189a54
File 141419542855.png - (247.43KB , 540x405 , Closet 24.png )
599292

Now back to Tavron and Quan,
Who's all caught up to what went down today!
And Quan says "Shit, bruh that's heavy,
"I didn't know no deacons could swing that way--"


But uh oh here comes part two,
Part two of this day's crazy shit!
WOOOOWOOOOWOOOOO
Up behind Tavron and Quan,
A policeman drives up like "HALT,
"YOU'RE BUSTED YOU BITCH!"

bitch
bitch
>>
No. 599297 ID: 3009b4

Offer biscuits.
>>
No. 599345 ID: 879a42

Cops are after your biscuits! Run for it!
>>
No. 599397 ID: a19cd5

Quick, distraction plan alpha-sigma! POP THE TRUNK AND LET LOOSE THE DONGS OF WAR
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