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File 140072503324.png - (14.92KB , 750x750 , bankjob1.png )
575271 No. 575271 ID: 8750b6

On May 21st, 2014, four individuals entered the New Highlander Trust Bank in Queen City...
Expand all images
No. 575272 ID: 8750b6
File 140072510623.png - (11.00KB , 750x750 , bankjob2.png )

What followed was an absolute cock-up of a bank heist the aftermath and speculation of which played across every TV screen in North America for months to come. Everyone knows what the news reported, but only a few know of what occurred the day of the robbery and the times leading up to it.

It's common knowledge that there were four perpetrators in what became known as the New Highlander Trust Robbery. Who were they, and what was known of them before they became the infamous figures they are today?

Please suggest characters to be used. This is in no way a serious quest, so feel free to use your imagination! The more details, the better, within reason of course..
No. 575273 ID: e1609c

Johnny Dickfinger.
An assassin by trade, poor johnny got into a fistfight with a man wearing plate mail armor in one particularly interesting job, resulting in the loss of a finger.
After a Cockup in the malaysian medical center he was treated at, his left middle finger was replaced with a dick.
He is very skilled at combat, with certification and training with nearly every weapon known to man, most notably the grenade launcher.
No. 575274 ID: 287e08


One of the most skilled and renowned safe crackers the world has ever seen, and a master lockpick to boot. Kinda lanky, and it's clear he hasn't brushed his fur in years, but he does he best to dress all fancy-like [though his best isn't exactly /the/ best].

His dexterity lends itself to the operation of small arms. With machine guns or shotguns, the recoil knocks him flat.

He used to call himself Cracker, but people pointed out that's kinda racist.
No. 575275 ID: ca0da5

A lizard-type Kobold, with dull brown scales, known as a farmer.
A "Dancing Sword," three feet long and only single edged, an emerald embeded into either side of the guard.
A human female of average proportions, a pale tan, and medium black hair, which she kept in a ponytail. She worked in a garage as a mechanic.
A walking box; nobody really knows anything about this box other than that it sometimes seems to sprout legs and walk around. Holes sometimes appear in the from the front side for arms to sprout out of, but they always seem to vanish back into the box. Green dots are visible through a rectangular slit near the top of the front, possibly the box's eyes.
No. 575280 ID: 40935b

Dan Tanner: Veteran who fought in the war. Like, all the wars. He's not as fast as he used to be, but he can light a match at 100 yards with his trusty service rifle.

Ivan Nesterov: Getaway driver. An absolutely, uncompromisingly insane Slavic man that doesn't know the meaning of 'collateral damage' or 'indoor voice'. He can navigate any vehicle over any obstacle. Once.
No. 575283 ID: 9ddf68

"Cuddles" the littlest dragon.

Cuddles is a newborn dragon that was only really brought along because one of the other guys involved with the heist had to watch the little bastard and generally staying no to a dragon is a bad idea. Not knowing what else to do they just stuck a cheap mask on the little bastard, put him in the getaway vehicle, and told Cuddles to honk the horn if anyone with a gun/ a cop uniform/ or Cuddles mother shows up to signal that the rest of the crew needs to leave now.

Real name: something draconic and a pain to say or wright so everyone just calls the newborn Cuddles

Other known names: Cuddles (Very clinging, would be adorable if "Cuddles" didn't tend to light things on fire because newborns have a hard time controlling their fire breath)

Description: Bout the size of a medium size dog and covered in green scales.

Age: we think 8

Relatives: We have a good idea on who Cuddles mother is but no one wants to tell a dragon their kid was involved in a bank heist so we really haven't looked... Dragons are scary.
No. 575287 ID: e22313

Cloud Yeti, an immigrant from Jupiter.
Uniformly covered in cream-colored fur/precipitate, with blood-red eyes and snow-white "skin" underneath.
Demolitions expert, with no other weapons training whatsoever.
Wears a noir-style trench coat absolutely filled with explosives, and specializes in personally undertaking suicide bombings because of being able to survive point-blank high-yield detonations.

When short on explosives, settles for just ripping people's arms off and beating them to death with them.
No. 575300 ID: dff2c3

The current D-class host of SCP-963, or 'Dr. Jack Bright', because committing bank robbery wasn't on the foundation's list of things he can't do.

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-963 http://www.scp-wiki.net/the-things-dr-bright-is-not-allowed-to-do-at-the-foundation[/spoiler]
No. 575306 ID: 4fc275

Stefan Stacek, an immigrant who speaks in broken English but is an expert at calming people down, at least back in his country. He is also actually an undead, being brought back to life back in the old country, and took the bank job since he needed the money to pay back the shaman who raised him from the dead.
Little does he know that the magic that keeps him fresh is starting to fade very slowly.
No. 575322 ID: badcfa

"Absolute cock-up of a bank heist."
Just another day for the PAYDAY crew.
No. 575387 ID: 8750b6
File 140080084822.png - (20.31KB , 750x750 , bankjob3.png )

Ivan Nesterov, known as "Crazy Ivan" to the few people that called him a friend, was the group's getaway driver. A native of Russia, he worked as a stunt driver. This, of course, being the Russian movie industry, he quickly honed his skills at driving large russian vehicles through poorly regulated obstacles. This no doubt came in handy on the average Russian road as well. It is believed that a co-worker convinced him to get in touch with the Russian mafia, in turn leading to the man using his impressive skills to ferry mob members in and out of their business. It is estimated he alone has totaled almost a billion rubles in property damage across his career.

Early 2008, Mr. Nesterov was spotted in New Bedford City. It is not confirmed if the destruction of the entire city's famous and expensive china factories in a single night is related to him. Records on Mr. Nesterov are light, but criminal analysists and psychologists have offered that he might have owed a debt to the Russian mob that lead him to participate in the robbery, but more than a few people claiming to be friends of his have said he was probably just trying to support his gargantuan drinking habit.
No. 575388 ID: 8750b6
File 140080086242.png - (19.13KB , 750x750 , bankjob4.png )

Safer, or "Cracker" as he once was known, was born in a Native Gnolmerican reserve to two parents. According to witness testimony, as a child he was inclined to crime nad troublemaking like so many other of his peers. At the age of 16 he served six months in a detention center for successfully breaking into a local casino and stealing nearly six hundred thousand dollars with a few others. Security camera footage showed a masked gnoll easily disabling the lock system on the main vault, taking less than ten seconds total to complete the task. The only reason that Safer was able to be identified in this footage was because he was the gnoll present, and his distinctive muzzle could easily be seen poking out of the front of the mask. The robbery was successful until an accomplice of his betrayed the others, having a crisis of conscience and turning in the rest of the group.

Safer was declared reformed and released, and was out of sight for years afterward. One day he boarded a plane to Queen City, where the man who had betrayed him years earlier had left to as well. Security cameras at the airport were unable to follow him as he left the building, and his location was completely unknown until that fateful day.
No. 575389 ID: 8750b6
File 140080087508.png - (35.49KB , 750x750 , bankjob5.png )

"Cloud Yeti" has no formal name, and comes from a planet assumed to be Jupiter [unconfirmed]. Captured by local police near an undisclosed location in Nevada, presumably shortly after his arrival on Earth. He managed to escape due to several large-scale explosions, and the only survivors reported that he constantly spoke of "the war", and how he had "covered them before, you know". Several witnesses have sighted the odd, furred man[?] with red eyes, but any encounters were very quickly followed by several explosions. Some states believe that the long streak of bank demolitions had something to do with this mysterious outlaw.

Reports and sightings had been increasingly rarer and farther apart as this spree approached Queen City, and despite the efforts of all those aware of his[?] existence, what occurred there could not have been circumvented.
No. 575390 ID: 8750b6
File 140080090355.png - (23.85KB , 750x750 , bankjob6.png )

And last but not least is notable speaker and Germanic immigrant Stefan Stacek. He was known for his way of speaking clearly and simply enough to make his points clear to even the most close-minded of individuals even before his death in 1992 at a banquet hall, where he choked on a chicken wing after giving a speech on behalf of the World Health Organization about the dangers of choking. Medical records indicate that he was brought back to life by a local voodoo shaman as a mache zo, a skeleton. The shaman that performed the ritual is known in the German voodoo circuit to be unscrupulous and extortionate, and despite claiming that Mr. Stacek's insurance covered the ritual, it is rumored that an exorbitant fee was charged under the threat of reversing the ritual and dooming Mr. Stacek's soul to rot in Limbo for all of eternity.

Mr. Stacek took two years off to regain the use of his talented voice. His miraculous recovery despite the lack of a larynx or, in fact, any sort of organs or flesh has been called a "miracle" by Hermann Goel, Mr. Stacek's personal voice coach, adding "It is certainly some of my best work." Despite being unrecognizable by the public, he continued to do speech work and even teach speech to disabled children, though he was described as constantly looking worried and paranoid by his closest friends. Mr. Stacek continued making appearances up to even a few days before the robbery, seemingly relying on his bony visage to not be recognized.
No. 575391 ID: 8750b6
File 140080093155.png - (13.95KB , 750x750 , bankjob7.png )

These four being completely volatile and incompatible personalities, it is ridiculous to assume that the New Highlander Trust Robbery was completely their idea. It also appeared that one very unique and important valuable kept in the bank's vault was a specific target of the Highlander Four. An investigation pointed to senile technology firm CEO Edward Southage (pictured here, throwing a bottle of unidentified alcohol at a group of Occupy protesters out the window of his fifth-story hotel suite in Creightonston, circa 2011. Mr. Southage denied any involvement with the robbery "Or those goddamn communists," as was said in a spontaneous speech outside his vacation home in the Florida Keys. The investigation against him was ended and all charges dropped after the lead investigators retired permanently after mysteriously coming into large sums of money simultaneously.

Mr. Southton, despite being incredibly wealthy and the head of a multinational leader in electronics, was terrible at planning. There's no doubt that he assembled the Highlander Four and was the driving force behind them, but he couldn't have orchestrated what occurred there. One of the group was undoubedly the planner and mastermind, but which one? And furthermore, based on security footage, the Four came in with a plan. It is unknown how closely the plan was followed, but there WAS a plan, and like all plans it had a beginning. The Four needed to know their target, but how would they go about doing that without raising suspicion?
No. 575393 ID: 0444c2

Clearly it was Crazy Ivan, nobody was the better mastermind for stealing the OMEGA JEWEL - a massive amethyst.
No. 575396 ID: 7f0da5

With Yeti's disposition to very... blunt methods, and Ivan's refusal to travel at any speed slower than "way too fast", the mastermind likely would have either been Safer or Stefan. However, Stefan looks to simply be doing what he has to, leaving Safer with the most criminal know-how, the likely leader of the bunch.

To learn about the target, the most obvious method would be to have Stefan politely ask for a very, very in-depth guided tour. With words that charming, there's no way they could refuse!
No. 575398 ID: 2000fd

Safer is the mastermind. Embittered by the betrayal of his former group, Safer gained contacts in the local branch of the Russian mafia and struck a deal to bring an end to his betrayer, who was currently getting snug with the Russians' fiercest foe: the Albanians. Stashed within the New Highlander Trust Bank was not only a great deal of the Albanian mafia's money, but also a mystic book known as "Libri i Rhapsodi". Rumors have it that the secrets contained within the book could do feats beyond the marvels of modern science, even going so far as to bring the dead back to life.

The question of bringing a crew together arose quickly. Safer was good, but he could not carry out the deed alone. Ivan was loaned out to provide the getaway driving. Cloud Yeti, who had been captured by the Russians after stumbling into their hideout, was granted freedom on the condition that he completed this task for them. The Russians were fully aware of his history. Stefan was brought in after having a run-in with an undercover Russian contact. He was promised to be restored to his proper human glory and be released from fear of falling into the void of limbo via his German voodooist if he could complete this task.

Stefan was good friends with one of the town's architects and expressed interest in architectural documents. He was granted virtually unlimited access to his friend's library and from there was able to make a copy of the bank's layout. They had their in, all they had to do was work out the details.
No. 575399 ID: 68bbc5

It was Safer who got the bank's layout, but though Safer was been called in for his criminal expertise, Stefan was clearly the mastermind, for who else could rally the other three to his crazy genius scheme?

And whatever that treasure is, there's no doubt whatsoever that it's at least 10 feet tall.
No. 575423 ID: 7cca4c

>And whatever that treasure is, there's no doubt whatsoever that it's at least 10 feet tall.
Okay, who the hell keeps an ancient Jupiterian mummy in a safe in a bank?!?

I'm in for Safer being the Mastermind hired by the Russian Mob and doubles as the Lockpick, Stefan being the Face, Cloud Yeti for the Distractions, and Ivan for the Getaway Guy.

Obviously Stefan was tasked to get the bank's blueprints first. Whether it's via an architect's office or directly at the bank, a poorly-made rubber mask is involved somehow. Initially they will be after the money, but Ancient Jupiterian Mummy.
No. 576373 ID: d15e22
File 140135221089.png - (23.50KB , 750x750 , bankjob8.png )

Safer, having a (mostly) sane mind and doubtless criminal experience, was chosen to lead the other three. Mr. Stacek was hardly a career criminal, Mr. Yeti posessed a very dangerous mindset, and Mr. Nesterov was not one for planning at all. Safer was the first to be contacted by Mr. Southage, and provided with the rest of the team, with the goal of retrieving the an ancient book; The Libri i Rhapsodi.
No. 576375 ID: d15e22
File 140135222199.png - (11.05KB , 750x750 , bankjob9.png )

Despite his senility, Mr. Southage had goals, one of which was to live forever. From an old war buddy of his, he uncovered the location of a book first found in a catacomb deep under Italy in 1922 by the famous archaeologist Mario Mario. The book was partially translated by the archaeologist's brother, Luigi Mario, revealing the secrets of life and death contained within. The book was eventually sold and passed from collector to collector, often fetching sums of millions of dollars before being purchased by a museum. While an exhibit was prepared, the book was stored in a vault in none other but the New Highlander Trust Bank. It was the main target for The Four, though they were encouraged to collect as much of the bank's money as possible as their own payment, since Mr. Southage was, bluntly, a stingy bastard.

As evidenced in tapped phone conversations, Safer had come up with a plan wherein Mr. Stacek uses his persuasive personality to obtain the bank's blueprints from the planning office at which they were stored. Witness reports and camera footage allowed investigators to piece together Mr. Stacek's visit to the office at 1:26 PM on May 6th.
No. 576376 ID: d15e22
File 140135228061.png - (12.38KB , 750x750 , bankjob10.png )

Stepping out of his car, Stefan stands in front of the Steele Concepts and Erection head office. In his possession is his KEYS, his WALLET (with normal wallet things inside), $287, an UNSPECIFIED CHEAP RUBBER MASK bought by Safer at a local costume shop, and a HANDGUN. There is no ammunition for the GUN, however, since the man at the counter in the only gunshop in town refused to sell anything to a skeleton. Stefan stopped for a moment and considered his next move.
No. 576377 ID: 396517

Next move: Make an innuendo internally about the name of the building.
No. 576378 ID: 20208d

Casually smoke a cigarette while checking the office out through the window for Cameras, Security guards, Back doors, Hot babes.
No. 576915 ID: d15e22
File 140177116992.png - (18.44KB , 800x750 , bankjob11.png )

Stefan cracks a giggle at the name of the office. He barely resists making a boner joke as well. He might be middle-aged (for a human, not an immortal skeleton) but he definitely has the mind of a child. It helps with his speechwriting!

Lighting up a cigarette, Stefan peers into the glass. He figures that, as a skeleton, he can smoke all he wants because he doesn't have lungs to destroy.
No. 576916 ID: d15e22
File 140177118697.png - (13.49KB , 1000x750 , bankjob12.png )

In the lobby, there seems to be a secretary at the front desk, looking back at him. She has a few things on her desk and doesn't look too happy about him getting his bone-oils over the freshly cleaned glass. There's a watercooler in one corner, a few chairs for sitting, and not much else. An open door leads into what seems to be design offices, though he can't see very much of them. There's a closed door down the wall.
No. 576917 ID: d15e22
File 140177120715.png - (14.31KB , 800x750 , bankjob13.png )

Stefan feels a little creepy.
No. 576918 ID: 2baea8

Store SPOOK POINTS for later use.
No. 576923 ID: f4e1fa


That fine lookin' lady looks like she knows where you need to go and how to get there, she just doesn't know it yet. Just be careful gettin' your skeleton all over everything.
No. 576967 ID: d6e000

Walk in like you got an appointment
No. 577200 ID: d15e22
File 140196125169.png - (27.06KB , 1000x750 , bankjob14.png )

Putting on his best strut and a winning... smile, Stefan walks into the office like he owns the place, or at least like he has an appointment. The secretary gives him a death glare the whole time.

>"You can't smoke in here, sir. Please leave your cigarette at the door."

Oh, whoops. Stefan flicks it out onto the curb as he enters.

"I have an appointment," Stefan says in his best, most charming voice. As a human he already had a voice like silk, but ever since he died there's been a certain... refined roughness to it. He finds that it grabs a person's attention easier, and is one of the few things he actually enjoys about being a skeleton.

>"Oh good, you're not just here to stare through the windows. Name?"

Stefan thinks. He's here to get the blueprints to the New Highlander Trust Bank. He can say things in a very persuasive manner, but he just has to make sure that what he says and does isn't too suspicious and perhaps more importantly, can't link him back to the robbery taking place in just a few short weeks! Anyone investigating it after the fact will come right back here, see that HE retrieved the plans, and link the whole thing straight back to him!
No. 577204 ID: 2000fd

Sinistro Pauroso, recently deceased son of Italian immigrants. If they can't find Sinistro, it may be under your nickname, Sini.
No. 577207 ID: e6f437

Introduce yourself as Miss Liz Steele (no relation) and assure the secretary that people mistake you for a man all the time since you have a rough skeleton voice now, but you forgive her.
No. 577209 ID: 949cfc

Paco Panchito Ayeayeaye, Mexican-American Native Chief! We've risen from our dead because of a burial ground issue with one of your buildings!
But not to worry, for Paco Panchito Ayeayeaye always believed in legal solutions! We're trying to negotiate with the current owner of that building, and we need a blueprint of the building to locate our grave!
(And if she asks why we're not in our grave right now, answer something in the line of grave robberies.)
No. 577220 ID: 321d85

Er, how common are (undead) skeletons, anyway? Apparently common enough for it not to immediately link your appearence to your identity, or you'd probably have a disguise or something.
No. 577250 ID: 68bbc5

Brilliant. This gives us both a difficult-to-question motive AND an alibi.
Definitely go with this.
No. 577255 ID: ca0da5

Miss Sophia Sara Ayeayeaye. Let's combine the ideas, y'know? Female with a questionable motive and whatnot.
No. 577404 ID: 5c2478

Couldn't his accent betray him though? Do skeletons even have accents?
No. 577413 ID: ca0da5

He took speech lessons, he can totally play off that.
No. 577568 ID: d15e22
File 140216753276.png - (16.21KB , 800x750 , bankjob15.png )

Stefan knows that skeletons and other forms of undead are relatively uncommon, but still exist. There's support organizations for them in most major cities, like Alcoholics Anonymous for people without pulses. He never really liked those things, so he never joined one.

Straightening his tie and stepping back from the counter, Stefan says that he is Miss Sophia Sara Ayeayeaye, Mexican-American Native Chief, who once presided over the large and prosperous Paco Panchito tribe!

>"You don't sound like a 'Miss'."

In an offended tone, he asks if she thinks all skeletons REALLY sound the same. She's about to reply when he cuts her off, explaining that of course they do, it's magic, not vocal chords. Almost no differences between how any two skeletons speak at all. So of course she sounds like a he.

With the conversation back in his pocket, he goes on to explain that while his people may be gone, their spirits live on-- But only because THEIR COMPANY had erected a building directly on top of their ancient burial grounds! He explains that he came back to life in a physical form so that he may find his grave to bring peace back to his tribe, something that's only possible with the blueprint. He notes that her company is very lucky that the Paco Panchitos preferred to deal with spiritual matters with legal discourse instead of good ol fashioned hauntings and murder. The secretary idly nods throughout his whole speech as she types on her laptop.
No. 577569 ID: d15e22
File 140216754563.png - (11.20KB , 800x750 , bankjob16.png )

>"There's no appointment showing up under your name."

Oh. Shit. Stefan should have thought about that before he opened his dumb bony mouth. "And I don't suppose you could just... let me in?"

>"If I wanted to lose my job, sure."

This is quite a problem. He's got a solid story, but no way in!
No. 577575 ID: e6f437

Is there a coffee machine or something? You need to spill something on your suit and then ask to use their "little girls room" which is hopefully located somewhere in the back.

More creepy points!
No. 577614 ID: 321d85

You could pass off your use of the word "appointment" as metaphorical, like having a date with destiny, or something.
No. 578019 ID: ca0da5

Should show some discomfort at the fact that they have to deal with things properlike, too. I know the sooner the better, but after that statement he'll just have to ask about getting an appointment.
No. 581562 ID: 18da89
File 140391469398.png - (18.17KB , 750x750 , bankjob17.png )

"Ah, you see, you misunderstand. It is not an appointment in the traditional sense!"
>"Oh, please do go on.'
"It is not an appointment that can be jotted down on a ledger or entered into a database. No, it is something greater. You see, my scaly friend, it is an appointment with destiny! An appointment with fate, an appointment with the divine! An appointment that will decide the final fate of my once-great but now-forgotten tribe! Of course, it would be foolish to stand in the way of such a thing, yes? Of course! Mere mortals like us-- Ah, well, only you, really-- could only hope to follow these grand designs, not create them or alter them or stand in their way! A foolish task for the fools. It is said that great men and women, leaders, decision-makers forge their own paths, but that assumption is wrong-- They simply see the road ahead with utmost clarity, and follow it with perfection to its glorious end! While others peeter and putter about, figuratively slamming their empty heads against brick walls and becoming lost in their own hubris until they are swept over by the sands of time.

Ma'am, I would never mean any insult, but I must ask: Who are you to block my path to the ultimate fate of an entire people and their way of life? I would hope you would consider yourself to be a great person and not one of the countless bodies fallen off to the wayside from where great men tread. I am standing here today not only for myself but for you, to point you down the path, to lead you away from your rapidly approaching spiritual and mental destitution! So, in short, help me help you! Work with me! I need your help as much as you need mine. And while great men walk, they rarely walk alone. Furthermore..."

Camera footage Shows that Mr. Stacek continues on like this for another ten minutes. The secretary, Ms. Baker, begins to visibly regret her decision to let him speak at the twenty second mark, thought it takes much longer than that for her to finally get a word in edgewise.
No. 581563 ID: 18da89
File 140391470366.png - (8.90KB , 750x750 , bankjob18.png )

"OH HEY, LOOK WHAT JUST OPENED UP! It looks like our lead architect Mr. Ferdinand is available right now. you should shut up-- should save your speech and meet him as soon as possible, yes? Before this opprotunity closes and I'm forced to have you escorted from the building?"

Stefan graciously accepts the offer. She waves him toward the office door and shouts; "JIM, THERE'S SOMEONE HERE TO SEE YOU, THANKS." The door slams shut behind him after he walks in.

On the other side, Ms. Baker sighs, drains the rest of her coffee in a single go, and resolves to take her break early today.
No. 581564 ID: 18da89
File 140391471854.png - (12.94KB , 750x750 , bankjob19.png )

A thin man pops out from the nearest cubicle. Stefan figures he must be Mr. Ferdinand.
>"Can I help you?"

Stefan explains that he's there to view the blueprints to the New Highlander Trust Bank and that the kind secretary in the lobby can explain why he's here.

>"Oh! That's odd-- Someone's already looking at those! They came here not five minutes ago. They should stil be in the file room. I hope you don't mind sharing."
No. 581599 ID: fdcce1

Ask who the heck is in there! Then go in there! You have the gun if you need to threaten someone, but it probably won't come to that.
No. 581699 ID: 321d85

Yes, this. Maybe not "Who the heck is in there" though; more like, "Really? That is odd. Who might they be?"
No. 581736 ID: e6f437

Tell him that you don't mind sharing and will manage on your own.
Then sneak into the file room with the sneakiness of a spooky skeleton and see who else is interested in those blueprints. Rivals? Feds?
No. 581909 ID: ae6cbd

Immediately take control of the map upon entering the room. After all, you're more important.
No. 584611 ID: 18da89
File 140572332348.png - (13.27KB , 750x750 , bankjob20.png )

Stefan asks WHO, exactly, is in there.

>"Uh... it's, like... this little lizard thing? I dunno. It looked at me funny so I kinda just stayed away."

Stefan says he doesn't mind sharing. He notes that others might mind sharing with him because he's a skeleton.

Jim says he noticed that.
No. 584612 ID: 18da89
File 140572333205.png - (12.92KB , 750x750 , bankjob21.png )

Stefan has Jim lead him to the record room, pointing him at the door before splitting. A flash of a camera goes off as Stefan rounds the corner, and-- hey, it IS a little lizard thing! And it does have a blueprint!
No. 584613 ID: 2fd516

Is that... Safer's ex?

Call security!
No. 584617 ID: 53548a

Point the GUN at it and tell it to step aside, this is your dig.
No. 584630 ID: 40935b

Don't do anything brash yet. Close the door behind you. Smile. Ascertain that it is indeed the Blueprints to the bank. Then, shove the barrel of your gun right in between their beady little eyes. Make sure they're unarmed, confiscate any weapons. We'll make them take the rest of the pictures and take the camera for ourselves.
No. 585075 ID: 53548a

Wait a sec--
>They came here not five minutes ago.
This lizard just walked in while you were ranting extrapolating to the secretary? How did we miss that? How did she miss that?
No. 587648 ID: 18da89
File 140701583297.png - (16.89KB , 1300x800 , bankjob22.png )

Stefan doesn't know about anyone's exes. He also resolves to ask Jim why he didn't see the lizard come in. He quickly draws his unloaded gun, in time for the little lizard to pull a hammer! Stefan doesn't like hammers. Hammers break bones. Gathering up his courage, Stefan very kindly asks the thing to move aside.

A moment passes.
No. 587649 ID: 18da89
File 140701584369.png - (11.35KB , 950x950 , bankjob23.png )

The lizard moves to the right, and Stefan follows. They circle each other until Stefan is at the table and the kobold is at the door, where it tucks the hammer back into its coat and quickly absconds without a word.

If Stefan still had sweat glands, he'd be soaked right now. He's always been a lover talker, not a fighter. He's never even shot a gun before. With shaky skeleton hands, he turns and examines the blueprints on the table.
No. 587650 ID: 18da89
File 140701585956.png - (19.40KB , 950x950 , bankjob24.png )

Bingo. Stefan has found the blueprints to the New Highlander Trust Bank. This is the key to their little heist. Now, Stefan just has to figure out a way to get these out of here without raising suspicion. He could probably just walk out of here, but this place does have cameras. They'll bust him even before the heist starts!
No. 587657 ID: a3ee32

Your ribcage should be ample room for some rolled-up blueprints, as long as they don't fall through your pelvis and out your pant leg or something
No. 587664 ID: c7350f

"Is that a blueprint in your pantsleg, or are you just happy to see me?"

Ahem. Should work, regardless.
No. 587685 ID: 40935b

aggh dammit you should've been all like 'You drop the hammer before I drop the hammer' and walked him out the front door by discreetly holding the gun to his side, and then taken the camera once you leave the building.

Put the blueprints anywhere they'll fit- folded up under your shoes' insoles, your wallet, >>587657 will work if you're careful. If anyone asks you how it went, just say you're supposed to be buried in somebodies office near the door. And don't ask Jim why he didn't see the lizard enter, because I think it was mentioned.
No. 587725 ID: 685316

You could yell that the kobold stole the blueprints and as people are trying to stop it walk out.
No. 587889 ID: d8a627

Without a word? I'm fairly certain he just said "I'm watching you."!
No. 592135 ID: 18da89
File 140960849307.png - (17.99KB , 950x950 , bankjob25.png )

Stefan doesn't have time to read the blueprints. He just hopes that they don't notice the blueprints are missing anyime soon as he rolls them up and puts them in his chest cavity. He figures that he looks like any other skeleton and he hasn't given out his real name, so they won't be able to track him, right?
No. 592136 ID: 18da89
File 140960850389.png - (16.86KB , 950x950 , bankjob26.png )

It always feels weird when he puts something where organs should go. Being a skeleton is weird. Mr. Ferdinand is by his cubicle when Stefan exits and proceeds down the hall.

>"Did you find everything you needed? That other guy sure got out of here in a hurry, what was up with that?"
Stefan says that the lizard was probably just shy, and that he did find the blueprints, no problem, and even put them back in the right spot. He has to keep himself from holding his ribs.

>" Oh, cool, thanks. I'm usually the one that has to go in there and put everything back together. Like whenever some big-shot architect from New Sailor or San Redento or whatever comes through looking for something. Pssh."

Mr. Ferdinand pauses for a second.

>"So, uh... Alice filled me in about why you're here. If you don't mind me asking, uh, where are you supposed to be buried?"

Stefan rolls his skeleton eyes and gestures to a cubicle over by the door.

>"Shiiit. Rick's gonna be pissed."
No. 592137 ID: 18da89
File 140960851340.png - (13.01KB , 950x950 , bankjob27.png )

Stefan shrugs and then attempts to exit the building. He can feel the secretary glaring at him as he passes by the front desk.

She calls out, nearly spooking Stefan's guts out.
>"You, uh, you dropped something."
No. 592138 ID: 2fd516

Thank her profusely- it would be expensive to have to buy another gun!
No. 592154 ID: 8bd2b1

Maybe then you should mug her with it?
No. 592158 ID: d8a627

That blasted lizard must have snuck that onto you!
No. 592159 ID: d8a627

Actually, no, the Lizard dropped it back in the room and you were going to return it to him. Toootally your story. But in case you can't find him, would they happen to know who he is?
I swear Trout if that winds up being Farmer, I'm going to expect to see other suggested chars. Not very highly, but expect them nonetheless
No. 592167 ID: 9ddf68

claim it to be a pez dispenser
No. 592564 ID: 18da89
File 140987514476.png - (13.45KB , 750x750 , bankjob28.png )

Several responses race through Stefan's mind. He briefly considers telling her it's just a dispenser for cheap chalky candy, despite it clearly being an actual gun, before tossing that idea for threatening her with it, or claiming the heavy hunk of metal that fell out of his pocket was planted on him without his knowledge. He eventually concludes that all those ideas are dumb, and turns and thanks the secretary for letting him know he dropped that!

>"Do, uh... do you have a license to carry this, or something?"
She asks, plainly nervous. She now holds the gun closer to herself, away from Stefan.

Stefan reassures her that he does have a license to carry, and that has undertaken plenty of firearms safety training, and even coaches people on it on the weekends! As an undead immortal native american chief hell-skeleton, he has to have SOME kind of hobby. He notes that modern technology is still really cool. Of course, these are all lies, but she seems to be buying it. He explains that the unsecured gun was just a lapse of judgement on his part that will not be repeated, and that it's good that she picked it up as opposed to someone else.

>"Well, okay, I guess... I mean, you're not threatening me over it or anything, so you're probably not gonna do anything BAD with it."

Stefan says of course he wouldn't, conveniently ignoring how it'll probably be used in the bank robbery he's here to plan. He approaches the desk, and she hands it back to him.

One unloaded handgun added to inventory.

>"I don't see why anyone needs to carry a gun, anyway."

Stefan says he's been staying in a not-so-kind area while he gets this whole burial ground business finished up, and even though he's a skeleton, he'd prefer to not have any broken bones.

>"Oh. I wouldn't know how that is."
No. 592565 ID: 18da89
File 140987515398.png - (12.12KB , 750x750 , bankjob29.png )

Stefan thanks her again, holds a hand to blueprints in his ribcage, and absconds the Steele Concepts and Erection office. Later that day, the blueprints are discovered missing, and despite Stefan being captured on multiple security cameras stealing the blueprints and threatening the kobold, he wasn't able to be identified due to a lack of notable features and was long gone before anyone could ask any questions. Later analysis of the events surrounding the robbery of the New Highlander Trust Bank did reveal that there is, in fact, a native american burial ground under the Steele Concepts and Erection building, but it does not belong to any "Paco Panchito" tribe. The bodies within are planned to be exhumed in 2019.
No. 592566 ID: 18da89
File 140987516493.png - (15.21KB , 750x750 , bankjob30.png )

Meanwhile, Safer pours over his notes on the table in the middle of the kitchen of the small apartment that was leased out to act as their base of operations in the city. He was a criminal and was used to criminal activity, sure, but he's never had to plan something like THIS before. He was the one following orders, not the one giving them.

Rubbing his face and draining a cup of coffee, he leans back in his creaky chair to think. What does one need to pull off a bank heist? Stefan is out getting the blueprints so know where they need to go, but they don't have the tools to do what they need to do. They'll probably need more guns than the cheap little potmetal thing he made Stefan take with him. Safer had lockpicks, of course, but they'll need something more for vault doors or anything heavier-duty than an average door. There also might be something he's forgetting that they might need, miscellaneous things, tools, stuff like that. He figures their benefactor gave them enough of an allowance to get what they need, within reason. Stefan is currently out doing his job, but Mr. Nesterov and that little alien thing are around to do what needs to be done, along with himself. He needs to decide who should get what.
No. 592567 ID: 5a1426

Well of course the Jupiterian needs to go get his explosives himself.
...How can he get some?
No. 592569 ID: 40935b

Mr. Nesterov should see if any of his contacts have krinkovs or shotguns for sale. If not, we'll buy locally either illegally or under an assumed identity. To break into the vault, we'll need either the right codes, a drill, thermite, or explosives- you should research the vault and weigh options. We'll also need first aid kits, some kind of armor, a specially chosen and Ivan approved getaway vehicle, a designated escape route, and at least two contingency plans. Also, it appears someone else is trying to rob the bank. We should eliminate the competition before they put their plans in action.

also, what was the novelty mask you gave Sefan?
No. 592596 ID: 5eea01

What you need is a giant drill separated into parts for assembly. And it must be cunningly snuck in via a giant ceramic pig. You'll probably need a crane.
No. 598380 ID: 18da89
File 141334170322.png - (10.55KB , 650x650 , bankjob31.png )

Right, the little fuzzy alien thing. He's gonna have to be the one to do the heavy lifting, if the need arises. Safer has no clue where the alien gets his explosives, but the little info packet provided by their benefactor said he's got some way to easily get a hold of large amounts of them. Coming out of the poorly-lit dining room, Safer finds him in the living room, watching cartoons on the little tv set in there. The russian is also there, thumbing through a book.
No. 598381 ID: 18da89
File 141334173289.png - (13.06KB , 650x650 , bankjob32.png )

"Alright," Safer starts. "Stefan got the blueprints. We need supplies. Guns, explosives, maybe armor and first aid just in case things go bad. We'll also need a good vehicle to hold what we're picking up and a route to follow to get away. Hey, uh, cloud dude." He turns to talk to Cloud Yeti. "You can handle explosives, right?"

"Can I handle explosives?" The alien looks back with a toothy grin.


"You bet your ass I can."

"Alright. Do you need cash or--"

"Don't worry about it."


"Don't worry about it," he repeats.

Safer opts to not worry about it and turns to Ivan. "And you, do you think you can handle weapons and vehicles? I'm aware you have connections that should be able to get you--"

"Do not worry about it." The russian's thick, growling tone cuts him off. Safer shrugs and thinks about what's left.
No. 598382 ID: 18da89
File 141334173995.png - (12.76KB , 650x650 , bankjob33.png )


First aid kits.

Should Safer go to Drugs R Us or Floorblues?
No. 598383 ID: 4f004c

Drugs R Us sounds like too much could go wrong, even when working legitimately. Go for Floorblues.
No. 598385 ID: 0bd34b

You can't trust a man unless his floor is blue. Go to Floorblues.
No. 598428 ID: 3223c4

Drugs R Us sounds like it'll only have the cheap, low-quality stuff.
Floorblues is probably the safe bet. You like it safer, right?
No. 598468 ID: e34da4

Floorblues is probably more expensive, so it depends on how much you have to spend. If that 20 is all you've got, might wanna scoot over to the bargain drugs.
No. 602021 ID: aca445
File 141587292825.png - (16.60KB , 950x950 , bankjob34.png )

Safer drops 40$ on bandages, painkillers, antiseptics, band-aids, and a candybar.

"Camping trip," He tells the incredibly uninterested minimum-wage clerk. Flawless. Perfect cover story. With hardly a grunt in reply, he rings Safer up and hustles him out of the door for the next customer.
No. 602022 ID: aca445
File 141587294359.png - (17.33KB , 950x950 , bankjob35.png )

Outside, as Safer enjoys the crisp nutty taste of Harshe's chocolate, someone posts a poster to the telephone post next to him. He's some kid, a gnollish thing like him, and he's carrying a stack of these posters and a staplegun. Seeing that he has Safer's full attention, he speaks with the annoying yap-snarls that gnollish things speak with. "Hope to see you there, man!"

Safer thinks that gnollish voices are annoying even though he IS a gnollish thing. Can't stand them. He hates his own voice and tries to sound like some gruff movie star to compensate.

With a smile and a nod, he moves on to the next pole, and staples another, and then so forth, heading down the street. Safer mosies on over to look at what he's just been spontaneously invited to.
No. 602023 ID: aca445
File 141587295594.png - (26.20KB , 950x950 , bankjob36.png )

Oh. Oh shit, that's the same day as the robbery! But he's not sure how much it'll affect the bank heist. He can't be too careful, though, for something this big, EVERYTHING has to be taken into account. It could result in more people at the bank, less people, more police, less police, who knows! This poster doesn't have anything more than a date and what it is (and vaguely racist chariactures of gnolls), so [b]Safer is going to have to find more details about this. But how?[b] The kid probably doesn't know squat. Maybe he can find some way to get in touch with the organizers.
No. 602042 ID: 06465b

You know what this smells like?
An opportunity!
They will be useful for a distraction, at least. I second the opinion that you should ask the kid of who organized this event, and get in touch with them.
Totally not suggesting inciting a Gnoll riot on the street during the heist, figurative or not, no siree bob.
No. 602047 ID: 321d85

You should query The Internets. But you miiight ask the boy, too, since he's right there. Might be an undesirable link back to you, though.
No. 602050 ID: 635118

Avoid the boy, it can get linked back to you. Internet at a cafe.
But for the love of god get a new shirt. Or buy a fedora and join a ska band. I'm sure you know the right decision to make.
No. 602052 ID: 4f004c

He's got an undershirt on under that open shirt, man.

Anyways, if you can get somebody else into an outfit that looks just like that, well, Gnolls at the Gnollish Pride Parade look stereotypically the same. You can totally claim it was you as an alibi if anybody suspects you afterwards.
No. 602073 ID: 635118

The overshirt is the problem man.
Hawaiian print. Motherfucking hawaiian print. Who does he think he is? Bruce Campbell?
No. 618594 ID: aca445
File 142059766801.png - (14.37KB , 700x700 , bankjob37.png )

Secondary research into the robbers in the months after the heist has revealed that "Safer" has worn his shirt in every instance in which he has been photographed or spotted. Eyewitnesses always noted the hawaiian print. The assumption can be made that if the shirt is not there as a misleading tactic for identification in that he can swiftly just become another face in the crowd if it is removed, then it has immense personal significance to the gnoll.

Safer just thinks it makes him look good.
No. 618595 ID: aca445
File 142059769580.png - (19.31KB , 700x700 , bankjob38.png )

Safer takes a hike down to the nearest internet cafe. Of course the Queen City has these, even in the year of our lord two-thousand and fourteen, Safer thinks to himself as he pulls a chair to an empty computer.

A cursory Google search quickly brings him to the organization's website, presented with all the web design that gnolls can muster. Apparently this whole event was Kickstarted and successfully funded and according to the newspage, all the needed permits have been obtained and it's already in the very last stage of perparation. It's practically all but guaranteed to happen. Aaaand...
No. 618596 ID: aca445
File 142059772219.png - (11.21KB , 700x700 , bankjob39.png )

Yeah, that route brings it right in front of the New Highlander Trust Bank. A blessing and a curse! There's going to be a lot more witnesses. Too many variables to take care of. Buuut, it's a good distraction and there's a crowd full of people who look like him to slip away into. Sucks to be the other guys, though.

The organizers have an address set up, too. Seems to be some kind of small office in a seedy part of town. The kind of place that makes your hair stand on end. Safer'll have to decide if he wants to pay a visit there or not.

That's just what a quick look-over of the website reveals, anyway. Safer can look for something specific or go do something else.
No. 618598 ID: a19cd5

I say plan to head out the back and take that side-road away. The crowd is too risky.
No. 618638 ID: e34da4

Your name is Safer, not Hacker. You're probably not gonna get much off the site, but do look for a name or two to bring up, then go check out these guys. It'd be good to know what kinda people they are, to better plan around them.
No. 620031 ID: 311774

Prepare a much better decoy shirt. One that makes you look not like a dork.

Try to look up events. Plan around whatever the loudest thing is gonna be and try to time it for when it passes by.
No. 620106 ID: 03c5b0

May I suggest a reversible shirt just for this occasion? They'd expect a Gnoll with a Hawaiian shirt, they won't look for a Gnoll with Balinese shirt. Or Tahitian shirt. Or Hong Kong Tiger Print shirt.
No. 620429 ID: ea0ad9

>Prepare a much better decoy shirt. One that makes you look not like a dork.
Yes, get a shirt that has floral AND vine print!
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