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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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File 135526590848.png - (42.34KB , 800x600 , 1.png )
477857 No. 477857 ID: 501984

Yoink.
Expand all images
>>
No. 477859 ID: 5d98c3

Baaaaaaad move.
>>
No. 477860 ID: 6cc859

WOOP WOOP WOOP

THEFT IN PROGRESS THEFT IN PROGRESS

WOOP WOOP WOOP
>>
No. 477861 ID: b6178d

I like th cut of your giblets, sir.

What'll you steal next?
>>
No. 477862 ID: 5d98c3

>>477857
Steal the gods' divinity. And then steal Carmen Sandiego's hat.
>>
No. 477864 ID: 63f4f9

Steal her heart.
>>
No. 477865 ID: f2c20c

OI! Wut's the big idea, mate?
>>
No. 477869 ID: bf54a8

KABOOOOOOM
>>
No. 477895 ID: 501984
File 135527081868.png - (48.87KB , 800x600 , 2.png )
477895

Oh, wonderful. It actually talks.

I had hoped he'd just cracked under the pressure and started talking to a shiny bauble, but a certifiably obnoxious talking artifact? Ergh. Please tell me you have an ‘off’ switch somewhere.

But yes, you are being stolen. I have no intention of stealing anything else, not even hats, divinity, or the affections of random women. You see, this is no petty theft.


This is revenge.

Though being able to do that whole “stealing divinity” thing would be rather nice, as it would solve, well, all of my problems. It’s a shame that such acts are impossible.
>>
No. 477896 ID: d19c66

Joke's on you, we're not even valuable! You might as well just put us back down and steal a nice candlestick or something instead.
>>
No. 477898 ID: f2c20c

Revenge for what? We can't remember nothin'.
>>
No. 477900 ID: f6cff9

>You see, this is no petty theft.

Wait a moment how is this not petty theft? Whether you are committing petty theft for revenge or for money doesn't change the fact that it's petty theft so what's the endgame here?
>>
No. 477901 ID: bf54a8

yeah we do have an off switch, it's call no one is touching us. goes on too long and we forget everything. well, most things. but yeah, we only do things when we are touching something. also, leave a calling card, a real one if you want fame, a fake one if you want to send them on the wrong trail.
>>
No. 477902 ID: ec06d0

>It’s a shame that such acts are impossible
I know a guy who stole divinity, admittedly he died after a couple seconds and caused the end of his kingdom but the point is it's possible.
>>
No. 477905 ID: 6cc859

>>477896
Yeah, our owner's got like, five hundred of us. And that's just his personal stock. You see, for some reason people keep being suddenly compelled to smash us to pieces, so there's a lot of demand for replacements on short notice.

But that's not important. What's important is your sex life. Tell us EVERYTHING.
>>
No. 477909 ID: b6edd6

>Wait a moment how is this not petty theft?
We are intelligent, which makes it kidnapping rather than theft.
>>
No. 477910 ID: 501984
File 135527343675.png - (37.06KB , 800x600 , 3.png )
477910

>Joke's on you, we're not even valuable!
He seems to think you are, and that’s all that really matters here.

>Revenge for what?
It’s a long story, and I am not exactly working with an abundance of time. In short, we had a rivalry of sorts at the academy. He took it too far and now I’m stealing his precious orb, burning his house down, and using you to lure him away from his regiment of guards to kill him.

>how is this not petty theft?
Semantics!

>we do have an off switch, it's call no one is touching us …
Good to know. You’ll be in a pack the moment I don’t need you.

>I know a guy who stole divinity…
I’m not entirely sure what brand of crazy you happen to be, but I can tell you with certainty that it has not happened here. The gods are not to be trifled with.

>What's important is your sex life.
And this must be why I assumed he had gone mad.



>>
No. 477911 ID: 501984
File 135527349973.png - (52.71KB , 800x600 , 4.png )
477911

Oh, right.

That's still burning.


I have a timely escape to make, followed shortly by a brutal public murder.

Hopefully the other guards haven't found a way upstairs yet. You'd think they'd be deterred by the stairs being on fire, but there's always the chance they found a ladder or something.
>>
No. 477920 ID: d1efde

So then. You're in a building with at least two floors and being as the guards are expected to come from below and you set fire to the stairs to stop them. You're a bit concerned they might use a ladder to reach you, presumably through a window, so... You plan to escape over nearby rooftops? Also, does the murder have to be public? Pretty sure committing murder in public is not conducive to a living a long life.
>>
No. 477924 ID: bf54a8

ha, pack. being 'on your person' is enough for us.
>>
No. 477926 ID: 5d98c3

>>477911
Eh, you just need to fuck with the gods more to solve your problems. Also, be wary, use of us is psychologically addictive and may lead to dependence.

I suggest you leave via the window. Either that or so greatly offend a god that they make a personal appearance to deal with you, allowing you to escape in the chaos.
>>
No. 477927 ID: f2c20c

>>477920
Well, he IS in disguise. A public murder works fine if nobody knows who did it.
>>
No. 477931 ID: 5d98c3

>>477927
Good point. Pull a McNinja, take off your mask and vanish as soon as you're done murdering.

Then get a different mask. Masks are awesome.
>>
No. 477933 ID: 68bbc5

Nothing makes a statement quite like a brutal public murder.

That said, clean your knife off. It's going to drip blood everywhere and leave a trail for the guards.
>>
No. 477984 ID: 501984
File 135528365147.png - (34.34KB , 800x600 , 5.png )
477984

>So then. You're in a building…
That is a fairly accurate assessment of the situation. The murder doesn't have to be public, it’ll simply be easier this way. He’s intelligent enough that he won’t follow me alone anywhere there might be a trap, and how could I possibly rig the town square?

>ha, pack.
>use of us is psychologically addictive and may lead to dependence.
Also good to know. You’re just a font of information, aren't you.

>I suggest you leave via the window.
This is the plan, and I see no reason to change it now.

>take off your mask and vanish as soon as you're done murdering.
Also a part of the plan. You haven’t worked with many people that actually make plans, have you.

>That said, clean your knife off.
A drop or two of blood will not make my presence any more obvious than it already is, I actually want him to follow me when I leave the house, and I do not intend to bring the knife with me when I skip town.
>>
No. 477986 ID: 501984
File 135528370006.png - (59.82KB , 800x600 , 6.png )
477986

The fire looks like it’s burning nicely, but that is most definitely a guard in the hallway. I must’ve missed him on the first sweep.

It would be trivial to kill the useless peon, but you know what, Orb? I think I’ll let you decide.

This pitiful man, content to earn his keep “defending” the home of one of the most obscenely powerful families in the land from the evil-doers that would wish to harm them.

He certainly did an excellent job defending you.

Does he live, or does he die?
>>
No. 477992 ID: 68bbc5

If he's found to be alive when this whole fiasco is over, he'll probably be fired for incompetence.

It'd be only decent of you to at least allow him to honorably die in the line of duty.
>>
No. 477997 ID: b1866d

>>477986
His failure shall be his salvation. If he lives, he will learn from his weakness, become ennobled by it; if he dies, he will die fighting, einherjar ascendant and inheritor of the glory of the gods. What Im saying is, fuck him, if he get in your way, end him, but stop wasting time.
>>
No. 477998 ID: f2c20c

>>477986
Allow him to live. We do not know why he was not caught in your initial sweep, so we cannot pass judgement upon him.

(besides if you die I'd like someone loyal still working under us)
>>
No. 478000 ID: 6dc5a6

Let him go and shout at him to get some new clothes that aren't all covered in soot.
>>
No. 478007 ID: 6cc859

>>477986
See, you're already depending on us for decisionmaking! Sad how little time it took, really.

But sure, let the guy live so long as you're confident doing so won't screw up your plans.
>>
No. 478014 ID: b6edd6

If you let him live you can give him a taunting message to tell his boss.
>>
No. 478018 ID: 843735

>>477986
You might as well let him li

Whoa. Hey. Kind of burying the lead there. Did you do all this? Is that... is that a sword in the door? And another one in the floor? How does that even happen, floors are supposed to be super solid, that is like the only thing they are there for.

Are you some kind of murder robot, or possibly knife wizard, depending on the current nature of this universe? Because if you are, better we find out now than later.
>>
No. 478027 ID: d4ad1a

You seem like a badass. What's your name?

Also, better kill him. These things have a way of biting you in the ass later.
>>
No. 478036 ID: 241443

he's done nothing wrong. he'S just doing his job. he has not in any way had it coming to him, and likely committed no acts deserving of a punishment such as death. and chances are, he has friends and a family to support, who would mourn his death.

kill him. kill him dead.
>>
No. 478037 ID: 5d98c3

>>478027
If by badass you mean callous, vengeful shell of a human with tar where a heart should be, then yes. I have no problem with vengeance but I draw the line at petty and indiscriminate murder. Ignore him.
>>
No. 478052 ID: 501984
File 135529913913.png - (27.15KB , 800x600 , 7.png )
478052

> If you let him live you can give him a taunting message to tell his boss.
I know this is all going a little fast, but do try to keep up. I am going to kill this man’s boss later tonight, using you to draw him out. A message would be beyond pointless.

>Did you do all this? Is that... is that a sword in the door? And another one in the floor? How does that even happen, floors are supposed to be super solid, that is like the only thing they are there for.
Now you’re starting to catch on! Yes, yes, yes, and you will see in a moment.

> See, you're already depending on us for decisionmaking!
Alternatively, it was a test to see how much you value a human life, and how much you value your ties to your old master.

And you know what? I was expecting some loyalty to your old owner, but claiming the man should live only so he can witness his own failure?

I may have to keep you around for a while, Orb.

>Are you some kind of knife wizard?
Well, knives are generally not quite so involved with what I do, and those who wield magic are not typically referred to as "wizard", but.
>>
No. 478053 ID: 501984
File 135529916550.png - (53.88KB , 800x600 , 8.png )
478053

Yes.
>>
No. 478054 ID: 501984
File 135529920161.png - (43.88KB , 800x600 , 9.png )
478054

"Knife wizard" is an adequate description of me.
>>
No. 478055 ID: 501984
File 135529935948.png - (53.55KB , 800x600 , 10.png )
478055

...

Yep, he still looks to be alive. I'd assume he has a few broken ribs from the knife, and a few broken limbs from the fall, but he's alive.

>You seem like a badass. What's your name?
Handing my name out to a mysterious ancient artifact I know very little about sounds like a terrible idea, and I’d say we’ve been getting along just fine so far without names. If you absolutely must call me something, just make up a nickname. It’s not like anyone else can hear your nonsense.

>If by badass you mean callous, vengeful shell of a human with tar where a heart should be, then yes. I have no problem with vengeance but I draw the line at petty and indiscriminate murder.
I resent that! And this murder is hardly indiscriminate. He personally supports a truly horrible group of people, and he brandished his sword at me! And his injuries probably won't even kill him. He's probably better off down there than up here with the fire!

I am clearly in the right here.
>>
No. 478060 ID: f2c20c

>>478055
Horrible group of people? If we guided their leader, I find myself wondering if they are as horrible as you say or just working against your purposes. We tend to be extremely pragmatic but generally benevolent, unless we are brought into the complete control of someone unrepentantly evil. Then we just go along with it, because then at least we can get some fun out of it.

Will you be escaping out this window?
>>
No. 478061 ID: 54c7e5

Now that you mention it, you are still in a burning building. Do you have an exit strategy? I will admit that most people who blunder their way into ownership of this orb don't usually plan things out beyond acquisition.

In fact, your competence is slightly unnerving.
>>
No. 478063 ID: ecfcdc

>>478061
This was already covered.

>>478055
You plan to go out the window, and there is a window there. Time to leave.
>>
No. 478064 ID: d4ad1a
 

Hey guys, let's come up with some really dumb nickname for him. That should be fun.

>>478061
Yeah, I gotta say, Deathface, you really seem to have this under control. I feel like I need to do something more to be helpful. Here, listen to this as you make your escape.
>>
No. 478065 ID: d4ad1a

>>478064
Trying to link this. Whatever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iof5pRAIZmw
>>
No. 478068 ID: 241443

>>478037

I bet you wait for the lights to turn green when you play GTA.

>>478055

you remind me of the Jack of Blades, so I'm gonna call you Jack.

so tell me, how is this gonna draw him out? if I was him, I'd have gotten the fuck out of dodge like yesterday.
>>
No. 478069 ID: d4ad1a

>>478068
He's gonna want us back, remember? Poor fucker's probably already addicted.

By the way, Jack McDeathface, what kind of armor are you wearing? Any enchanted equipment on your person? What're we working with here?
>>
No. 478070 ID: d4ad1a

>>478069
Oh yeah, and you might be interested in knowing that we know nothing at all about our previous master. For some reason.
>>
No. 478071 ID: 9a34be

Well, I dunno about the rest of you, but I like this guy.

As for the whole loyalty thing, we'd probably be a bit more loyal to the guy if we remembered him any. We get this whole amnesia thing whenever someone with big things in store for them grabs us.

So, Jack. The guy you're planning on killing was a rival at an academy, which has me guessing he knows a few magic tricks as well. You expecting him to be trouble, or will he be easy pickings when he's on his own?
>>
No. 478072 ID: 8e5181

Horus.
>>
No. 478073 ID: b53faa

>>478055
Oh, a name huh?
How does "Knifejaw Dinglehopper" sound to you?
I like the ring of that:
Knifejaw!
>>
No. 478074 ID: 6336b0

Oh hey, if we are giving servant assassin a nickname don't we need to give him our nicknames as well?

Personally, my favorites are "The Orb of Infinite Psyche" and "The Thousandfold". Totally awesome names right there.
>>
No. 478075 ID: 241443

>>478074

or how about "The Blue Ball of Infinite Blue Balls"
>>
No. 478077 ID: 252e1b

I like this Jack guy. Telekinetic powers are always very handy. Jack are you restricted to just moving blades, or can you toss around other things?

Anyway Jack when we're done here can you give us a nice cleaning?

1 Carefully set us on a towel either on the countertop or in a sink.
2 Use a dishcloth to wash us with a mild dish detergent and warm water. Use a non-abrasive cleaner.
3 Rinse us well.
4 Dry us with a clean, lint-free cloth being careful not to touch us with your bare fingers. Using cotton gloves should be ok.
5 Place us in a holder or on a pillow using a cloth or cotton gloves to avoid getting fingerprints on us.
>>
No. 478080 ID: 501984
File 135531289808.png - (35.31KB , 800x600 , 11.png )
478080

>You plan to go out the window, and there is a window there. Time to leave.
Agreed.

> I will admit that most people who blunder their way into ownership of this orb don't usually plan things out beyond acquisition.
To be completely honest, I haven’t planned too much past getting out of town and grabbing my stashed stuff. Maybe I’ll head to one of the grand libraries, see if I can learn anything about a certain orb.

> Nicknames: Jack McDeathface, Knifejaw Dinglehopper
You are aware that this is pretty much the only time I will ever be wearing this mask, yes? Or really, doing anything “assassin” related. I’m just tying up loose ends.

> Nicknames: The Blue Ball of Infinite Blue Balls, The Thousandfold, The Orb of Infinite Psyche
Try something shorter. And preferably less idiotic.

>By the way, Jack McDeathface, what kind of armor are you wearing? Any enchanted equipment on your person? What're we working with here?
I’m afraid that I actually don’t have too much in the way of special gear, just the one surprise I have for him.

>we know nothing at all about our previous master.
I was beginning to suspect as such. The total lack of knowledge about me, magic, or the gods was somewhat telling. In fact, considering your apparent inclination towards guidance, I suspect that you may not even be the same voices that he heard.

And speaking of your old master, I suppose I should explain a few things.
>>
No. 478081 ID: 501984
File 135531301535.png - (45.03KB , 800x600 , 12.png )
478081

He’s one of the …

Wait, you won’t even know what that is.

Hmmn.

Let’s start with the gods, and work from there.

There are seven gods. When anyone is born, they are ‘assigned’ a god. Which god they are assigned tends to reflect their personality or talents or augh this is grade school all over again.

Key point: Only your assigned god really has any amount of sway over your life. It’s never a good idea to annoy the other gods, but to actually do anything to you they effectively have to file a complaint with your patron.

Living under the gods is actually pretty alright, mostly because we get magic. Mages cast magic by channeling the latent magic the surrounds the gods, while priests and other clergy channel it directly from their patron. As such, priests and such tend to be better spellcasters than mages, but they have to keep good favor with their god to use magic, and they can often only use magic with permission from their god. There are a variety of positions within the church of each god, but for the moment the relevant spellcasters are priests, paladins, high priests, and Chosen. Basically, each is more powerful than the last.

And I mean, I’m just some dropout mage and I just torched a mansion, stole an artifact, and murdered several people without breaking a sweat. Most of my skill is in telekinesis, but I am competent enough to do basic things from most areas of magic, like healing minor wounds or lighting things on fire.

A priest, given permission from their god, could ruin my day as easily as I ruined those guards.



My good “friend” Javier?

Your old master?



He’s one of the Chosen of Sohlarn, Lord of Light.



And see? The guard is totally alive.
>>
No. 478082 ID: f2c20c

>>478081
You must have one hell of a trick up your sleeve to be certain you can take him on, then.

What are Chosen of Light like in personality, generally? I'd have thought they'd be good folk. You did say he went crazy though.

Also that guard looks like he may die rather soon. He's losing a lot of blood, there. I don't suppose you would be inclined to prevent him from dying since you didn't intend to kill him? Looks like his helmet got smashed in and those shards of glass are causing quite a bother. Now, I'm not saying bandage him up or anything but if you can give him some better odds that'd be cool.

As for a real nickname how about Dirk?
>>
No. 478083 ID: b53faa

I'm still completely set on Dinglehopper for a last name.
In fact, this particular one of the voices in your head will proceed to call you that until I either get bored of it or we learn of your actual name.
That, or one is assigned to you.
Also, try to avoid chunks of falling burnt house, those have ended quite a few adventures in my time.
>>
No. 478084 ID: d1efde

So, hang on a sec here, if your target is such a big shot and you're kinda a bug by comparison how are you going to kill him? I mean, what's stopping him from having a per-prepared defense?
>>
No. 478089 ID: f74554

How common and numerous are mages, priest, paladins, etc. in the population? Is there only one Chosen for each God?
>>
No. 478092 ID: 0b214d

>>478081
Okay, possibly a stupid set of questions and such, John Doe (it's less silly than what the others want to name you), but how exactly does your telekinesis work?

Does it work through line of sight or can you grope for things blindly?

Is it easier for you to use full power or the less power you use, the easier it is for you to use telekinesis even if things become harder to affect?

Considering you did yank that sword out of that guard's hands, you probably already do these kinds of things... but is your control good enough that you could for example just push someone's kneecap the wrong way and break a leg, without using too much energy?

Or how about just pushing something telekintically, but instead of a wide area push, focus the diameter of the push into a small enough area to just drill a hole through someone's chest, could you do something like that?
>>
No. 478096 ID: 241443

whatever, I'm still calling you Jack.

go Javierways.
>>
No. 478100 ID: 30f27a

Well, you´re aiming high. Hope your surprise for him is up to the job.

That aside, who´s your god? Some info on that one?
>>
No. 478110 ID: 5d98c3

>>478081
Yes. Having all his bones broken and multiple stabwounds shall certainly not adversely affect his lifespan.

Anywho, tell us yer plan, we'll point out anything glaring you might have missed.
>>
No. 478154 ID: 6cc859

>>478080
>Try something shorter. And preferably less idiotic.
Welp, we gave you some options, but now you're just going to have to settle for being Tiddles.
>>
No. 478235 ID: b6edd6

If your light-powered folks are anything like the ones we are familiar, even the asshole ones tend to have really good publicity, so it would be hard to blame the guard for working for people like that.
>>
No. 478238 ID: beeca1

>>478154
Yep.
>>478084
Us, I presume. Why else would he bother to steal us?
>>
No. 478268 ID: d1efde

>>478238
I thought we were supposed to be bait that lures the target into the open?
>>
No. 478270 ID: beeca1

>>478268
Precisely. He's vulnerable in the open.
>>
No. 478301 ID: 60fee2

>>478081
Oh, if you are wondering why we don't have much loyalty for our old master... Well, lets just say that get bounced around as many alternate realities as we do you would have blank spots in your memory too.

By the way, which god are you under?
>>
No. 478306 ID: 501984
File 135536860391.png - (30.26KB , 800x600 , 13.png )
478306

>Welp, we gave you some options..
No, what? I meant a shorter and less idiotic nickname for you. I’m not going to go around referring to you as the The Blue Ball of Infinite Blue Balls, that’s just stupid. I think you’ve lost your chance here. You are now Carl.

>Try to avoid chunks of falling burnt house.
I don’t think the fire is quite that ba



Carl, I stand corrected.

>Also that guard looks like he may die rather soon.
Keep up, Carl. Healing magic. If he’s alive by the time someone with magic shows up, he’ll be fine. Emergency workers and the like should actually be showing up soon enough to put out the fire, I just need to make sure that I’m gone before they arrive.

>What are Chosen of Light like in personality, generally?
The citizens of light are generally a little uptight. They tend to be fond of honour, justice, and righteousness, but are often oblivious to the fact that the concepts are inherently contradictory.

>You did say he went crazy though.
This was before I had properly become acquainted with you, Carl. The main thing was that he’d always speak to you out loud, and never let anyone else anywhere near you, which tended to come off as a little crazy.

>How common and numerous are mages, priest, paladins, etc. in the population? Is there only one Chosen for each God?
Not uncommon? You can find priests anywhere there are churches (which is everywhere), paladins tend to wander, earning the favor of their god, while mages tend to flock to academies, which are mostly in larger cities. And I did say one of the chosen for a reason. Each god has maybe ten around at a time? They tend to be spread out over the lands, so the odds of me running into another are fairly low.

>but how exactly does your telekinesis work?
This will take way more time to explain than I have right now, Carl.

>That aside, who´s your god? Some info on that one?
Well, about that …
>>
No. 478307 ID: 501984
File 135536864868.png - (23.56KB , 800x600 , 14.png )
478307

Oh, hey.

>go Javierways.
I would, but that’s him just now.

>Anywho, tell us yer plan, we'll point out anything glaring you might have missed.
In short, the plan involves luring him away from the mob of guards and emergency workers that are about to descend on the house and killing he before he gets permission to use magic. Which will still not be easy, given that he’s a skilled swordfighter with an artifact sword, he can use some of the same latent magics mages use, and the other benefits that the whole “being chosen” thing provide.

>You must have one hell of a trick up your sleeve to be certain you can take him on, then.
Well, it certainly is something, Carl. I made it myself! Who would of though apprenticing under a machinist after being expelled would work out so nicely?

Hmn, I don’t think he’s noticed me yet. Must be distracted by everything he has ever known burning to the ground.

This is the part where I’d yell something witty and insulting at him to begin the chase, but chatting with you has left me rather short on time to come up with choice insults.

Help me out here, Carl. I don’t want to be the idiot that just yells something stupid like “you fucker”. Nowhere near creative enough.
>>
No. 478308 ID: f2c20c

>>478307
Tell him his security isn't very tight, unlike his MOTHER.
>>
No. 478312 ID: b6edd6

Tell him he is lacking a ball, and you have also stolen his orb.
>>
No. 478317 ID: 4a27dc

If we're so important to him you could try taunting "Hey Javier. Don't worry about that fire, I was able to save your orb"
>>
No. 478318 ID: 6dc5a6

>>478317
Do this and then cast Knife To Face.
>>
No. 478333 ID: 836123

meh.
>>
No. 478336 ID: d4ad1a

Tiddles, if I were you, I'd hike up my robes, flash him some ankle, and send him a high-pitched "Yoo hoo!"
>>
No. 478354 ID: 6336b0

You should throw the orb at his face. No words, just bean him right in the face with the orb.
It'll be hilarious.
>>
No. 478360 ID: 5d98c3

>>478307
Honor and justice are only very rarely contradictory, and even then only in the most absolutely horrific of circumstances.

Anyway, shout, "NICE ORB, I THINK I'LL KEEP IT."

Then shoot him with your gonne, godless one.
>>
No. 478378 ID: 08da1f

Yea, I think "Don't worry man, I saved the orb." is the right way to go. Taunting and informative of the situation at the same time.
>>
No. 478395 ID: 45c547

Wait what? Why make him aware of you're presence. That's stupid and you should feel stupid. Just kill him in a surprise attack.
>>
No. 478399 ID: 6cc859

>>478395
Yeah, geez, Tiddles. Don't put your life at risk just to feel smug.

Also man Carl is totally the best name we've had to date. We are going to be the carlest carl.
>>
No. 478407 ID: 6cc859

Alternatively: "It is I, Tiddles the Knife Wizard! Prepare to meet your DOOM!"
>>
No. 478410 ID: 0b214d

>>478306

Carl... Caaarl...

I like it, short and simple... that and it reminds me of this murderous sapient unicorn.

>>478307

Creative insults... well, I know of one semi-creative though it verges on rant territory. Sadly, it is not of my creation...

"One might be tempted to apply conventional insults to you, you are an Idiot, a shameless attention whore, an Ugly motherfucker, a whiny Bitch, sleazeball, and so forth. But the fact of the matter is that those insults and the various colourful variations and combinations of which never the less give you too much credit. Even idiots can be put to good use, even if just as projects to cheer people up or sweaping the floor, an attention whore might be amusing in some way even if just by accident, plenty of ugly people are decent and respectable and better despite their aesthetic deficiencies and Whiners can contribute too, even if they make a fuss over nothing and are annoying as fuck and a sleazeball might have some good ideas despite his loathesome mannerisms and attitude. Not that these terms could not be applied to you, no, no. But because the people that those words described can be put to use in some small way to make this world a better place, or at least have some vaugely redeeming qualities. You, however do not. Never before has in the history of the universe have the forces of nature come together to create such an abyssmally substandard human being such as yourself. What are you? You are a Waste. I don't pity you, I pity the tapeworms that are forced to endure dwelling in you horrid intestinal track. I pity the water atoms which have passed through the bladders of Great People, be they Enlightened rulers, scientists who push forward humanity, heroes who have saved the lives of thousands or simply pleasant, kind hearted and Generous folk and now must endure being stuck inside the cell tissues of your horrid legs.

The only possible way you could endevour to make this world a better place is if you went into a chemical waste dump with a sharp rock (not a knife, some object that was shaped by the hands and minds of mankind and the fruits of their efforts deserve some respect, which befouling it with your bodily juices is anything but) and stab yourself in the chest, letting your body degrade amongst corrosive industrial run-off so it may be elevated to its level and that the materials that the universe would have eighty more kilograms of free material to be turned into anything other than you."


What do you think? Could it drive the guy absolutely bugshit insane?
>>
No. 478415 ID: d4ad1a

>>478410
That's, uh...

Wow, Carl. I don't think Tiddles can squeeze off that much of a mouthful.
>>
No. 478427 ID: d1efde

>>478395
There is a certain... "common sense" feel to this suggestion.
>>
No. 478430 ID: 45c547

inb4 the machinist thing is a gonne.

Also, from the title, presumably our owner doesn't have a god, as he was probably about to say before being interrupted by events.
>>
No. 478443 ID: 0b214d

>>478415

Sadly, I think you're right... still,maybe for someone else, in the future.
>>
No. 478448 ID: e33133

>>478395
considering he only needs to get authorization to use his powers before he can crush you like a bug, i think a sneak attack would be the best approach.
>>
No. 478458 ID: 440525

>>478360
The fact you have the orb will burn him inside, I upvote this, he will definitely chase you in rage.
>>
No. 478600 ID: 68bbc5

>>478306
Hoo-boy, Tiddles. For someone who insisted we "just make up a nickname", you sure got huffy fast.

We'll have to work on your temper in the future.
When your enemy can smite you after just a little preparation, a clear mind's gonna be far more useful for keeping you alive than a few knife tricks ever will.
>>
No. 478629 ID: 252e1b

>>478410
That would be perfect if we had a half hour!

Just say something like Your shoe is untied!

Then shoot him in the neck.
>>
No. 478642 ID: 501984
File 135547950559.png - (22.88KB , 800x600 , 15.png )
478642

>Creative insults... well, I know of one semi-creative though it verges on rant territory.
This would be nice, if I had the time.

>Hey Javier. Don't worry about that fire, I was able to save your orb
>his security isn't very tight, unlike his MOTHER.
These would be perfect, but

>Wait what? Why make him aware of you're presence. That's stupid and you should feel stupid. Just kill him in a surprise attack.
>Yeah, geez, Tiddles. Don't put your life at risk just to feel smug.
Yeah. Being overdramatic here is just taking unnecessary risks. Though, to be fair, the old plan was made under the expectation that he’d show up with guards or an entourage or something, which he and I could easily outpace.

I mean, he never just runs off alone.

This is very odd, Carl.

Regardless, I suppose I will just sort of slink into these shadows until he’s closer.
>>
No. 478643 ID: 501984
File 135547956509.png - (35.76KB , 800x600 , 16.png )
478643

He’s running over to help the guard.

I mean, something really isn’t right here, Carl.

Nobody has shown up to do anything about the wounded or the fire. And it’s not as if I have been particularly subtle.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take the easy opportunity, but...


>inb4 the machinist thing is a gonne.
>Then shoot him with your gonne, godless one.
This is not quite what I would call it, but close enough.
>>
No. 478644 ID: 501984
File 135547959719.png - (33.21KB , 800x600 , 17.png )
478644

This is really just sad.

I am sure I’m not anywhere near this stealthy but he’s just.

I don’t know.

This isn’t how I expected this would end.
>>
No. 478645 ID: 501984
File 135547962005.png - (23.77KB , 800x600 , 18.png )
478645

But it will have to do.
>>
No. 478646 ID: 501984
File 135547964565.png - (28.50KB , 800x600 , 19.png )
478646

He’s dead, Carl.
>>
No. 478647 ID: bf54a8

unless of course he had a body double and is really right behind you or something.
>>
No. 478648 ID: 8c2391

The guard was probably a close friend or a family member.
>>
No. 478650 ID: f2c20c

>>478647
That would be really clever, wouldn't it?

Alternatively, his usual smart behavior could be attributed to us helping him. Kindof a pity we don't remember him at all. Then we would either be able to properly warn our new master, or would be working a bit harder to prevent our old master's death.

At any rate, Dirk, now that you've accomplished what you came here to do, get out of here. Make your planned disappearance.
>>
No. 478652 ID: fd4600

you are not a very smart person, are you Jack? he's among the seventy strongest people in the world. this right here doesn't happen. have some common sense for crying out loud.

say, are you wearing a red shirt underneath your garb?
>>
No. 478655 ID: d4ad1a

Alright, Tiddles. I think I can see how you're feeling. It doesn't look like it feels too good.

Anyway, loot his body, if you're so inclined, then get outta dodge. Time to motor.
>>
No. 478657 ID: 0b214d

>>478646

I don't like this... this smells like a trap, leave and make sure you are not followed.

>>478652

Maybe this guy has more rivals other than John? Someone who made sure help won't arrive to soon...
>>
No. 478661 ID: 2f4b71

Reload.
>>
No. 478665 ID: 7fb504

Good job killing that evil wizard. The one whose only actions we know of are trying to save a dying man and upsetting a man who killed an entire manor of people to get revenge. How many do you think survived that fire? They were probably asleep.

Ah well. Mission accomplished Jack. You can go back to robbing nunneries or drinking to excess or whatever it is you do.
>>
No. 478666 ID: 45c547

Good job mashter. This smells like trap from a thousand miles away. Get the fuck away from here, after looting body to taste.
>>
No. 478717 ID: d1efde

>>478646
So, that was underwhelming.

Say, recall when we mentioned pre-prepared defenses earlier? What are the chances that was a body double? Or that you're trapped in an illusion?
>>
No. 478783 ID: 6336b0

Well, if nobody else is coming to help or anything, then you should probably heal that guy up before he dies. Afterwards you might want to look into why nobody else is here, because that is really weird, more people should be here.
>>
No. 478804 ID: a5c529

>>478646
Lets get out of here tiddels.
>>
No. 478886 ID: 501984
File 135555316266.png - (37.58KB , 800x600 , 20.png )
478886

>unless of course he had a body double and is really right behind you or something.
There still isn’t anyone around.

>I don't like this... this smells like a trap.
>This smells like trap from a thousand miles away.
Something is definitely not right, Carl, but I don’t think it’s a trap. There’s no way he could have known I was planning this, and the body is most definitely him.

>his usual smart behavior could be attributed to us helping him.
I knew him before he received the orb. The only thing that changed when he received it was his sudden interest in talking to it.

>Anyway, loot his body, if you're so inclined, then get outta dodge.
>Get the fuck away from here, after looting body to taste.
There certainly doesn’t seem to be much else to do, does there.
>>
No. 478887 ID: 501984
File 135555321939.png - (37.11KB , 800x600 , 21.png )
478887

Yeah, he even has his one-of-a-kind artifact sword on him. This was him.

>Good job killing that evil wizard…
You would have seen more if I had actually revealed myself to him, but.

You’re right. He probably deserved a better death than this.

He should have seen it coming.

He was always so careful, but he just.

He just wasn’t careful the one time that it actually mattered.

>Maybe this guy has more rivals other than John? Someone who made sure help won't arrive to soon...
I’m sure he had other enemies, but I don’t know how anyone would have known I was planning this.

>Well, if nobody else is coming to help or anything, then you should probably heal that guy up before he dies.
At this point, I’m thinking I’ll just leave him. It would take a non-insignificant amount of time to heal him, and help really should be turning up soon.

People don’t just ignore fires and gunshots, Carl.
>>
No. 478888 ID: 501984
File 135555325130.png - (39.78KB , 800x600 , 22.png )
478888

>Time to motor.
>Lets get out of here tiddels.
>Make your planned disappearance.
A short jaunt across the rooftops and over the town wall and I’ll be able to retrieve my things from…

Oh.
>>
No. 478889 ID: 501984
File 135555327487.png - (58.47KB , 800x600 , 23.png )
478889

Shit.
>>
No. 478891 ID: a84091

You didn't tell us you were planning on burning down everything! You have to let us in on these things if you want help ok

You should maybe leave?? Town???
>>
No. 478896 ID: f2c20c

>>478889
Oh great, you managed to get caught in the middle of an invasion.

Still think the guard will get help in time?

Either way I think we'd better get the hell out of here, soon. The guard's life is becoming less important by the minute.
>>
No. 478899 ID: d4ad1a

Well that explains things. Ready to go fend off some invaders? Also, did you just fuck yourself by killing the one guy who would be most helpful against them? Ouch.
>>
No. 478900 ID: 6dc5a6

Do you know who's invading? If so, can you speak their language? Go inland as fast as your knife wizard legs will take you.
>>
No. 478912 ID: cc1edd

well now you get to jump on rooftops and between fire, making you look twice as cool! I see nothing to me complaining about.
>>
No. 478918 ID: f2c20c

>>478917
SCOM said the godless one quote. Look here: >>478360
>>
No. 478920 ID: af777a

Get out of town, a invaded port town is not a good place to be mashter. If you can spare the time some looting might be order though.

>>478643
Ah, missed that.(Gah, first a typo then something else I wanted to add to my post)

I had the weirdest dream last night where our owner was in fact in the Discworld setting and had just killed the Patrician Vetinari, who had gone super idealistic good due to brain cancer in one of his frontal lobes. I don't even know how my mind cooked that up.

Also get all thoughts of that guy deserving a better death out of your mind. Sentimentality will get you killed.
>>
No. 478930 ID: 66ff59

>>478889
are those war boats!? what did you do tiddels!??
>>
No. 478935 ID: 501984
File 135557387724.png - (27.62KB , 800x600 , 24.png )
478935

>are those war boats!?
They appear to be.

>Do you know who's invading? If so, can you speak their language?
At this distance, I can’t make out any distinguishing features. Maybe?

>did you just fuck yourself by killing the one guy who would be most helpful against them?
Potentially.

>Ready to go fend off some invaders?
Definitely not.

>what did you do tiddels!??
I don’t think that anything I ever have done or ever will do will come close to being this destructive, Carl.

>Go inland as fast as your knife wizard legs will take you.
>I think we'd better get the hell out of here, soon.
>Get out of town…
As the alternative is probably more or less suicide, this is the plan.
>>
No. 478936 ID: 501984
File 135557390021.png - (27.84KB , 800x600 , 25.png )
478936

>Also get all thoughts of that guy deserving a better death out of your mind. Sentimentality will get you killed.
Agreed. We certainly have more important things to worry about now, Carl.
>>
No. 478937 ID: 501984
File 135557397755.png - (38.21KB , 800x600 , 26.png )
478937

Before the next chapter begins, there are a few things that I need you to think about, Carl.

Firstly, what exactly do we know about our protagonist? What can we infer from what they’ve said and done? Things haven’t exactly been laid out clearly, and it might help to try to put things in order. I’m sure you have some questions for Knife Wizard Tiddles, so why not get these questions sorted out before the next chapter begins?

Secondly, our protagonist has, so far, only worn bulky, concealing clothes and has avoided referring to their own gender in any meaningful way. And yet, you’ve chosen to identify the protagonist as male. Are you sure about this?

Lastly, a discussion thread will be made shortly. Please take any comments, criticism, compliments, suggestions, inane remarks, or questions you may have for the author there. Carl certainly doesn’t seem like the type of ancient artifact that would talk behind Jack’s back, and as such any discussion about what to do in-quest will probably be fine here, unless it gets horribly out of hand.
>>
No. 478942 ID: c33f8f

I think we already have enough female protagonists running around so i say stick with a male.

Only think i can think of to ask Tiddles is what the hell did Javier do that made killing him and burning his house down justified? Especially since he apparently was our old master.
>>
No. 478943 ID: b53faa

I dunno, I never really figured Tiddles was one way or the other. Honestly, I just went with male pronouns because I wasn't sure and "it" always sounds wrong to me.

I'm guessing the author is now hinting at tiddles being a girl, in which case neato. I have no problems with that in the slightest in either case.
>>
No. 478944 ID: cc1edd

murder by sharp objects is typically associated with males. I'd wager that's why- I thought of Jack as gender-neutral before he telekinesis-brandished the knives.

the biggest question for me so far is what his original plan was for killing what is effectively a walking deus ex machina using his self-admittedly limited abilities. the rest I'll wait to find out because so far the author seems competent enough to address most untied ends, questions about the setting, and so forth, which is the kind of information best absorbed in moderate doses.
>>
No. 478947 ID: 6336b0

>>478944
His plan was to shoot the guy. With his gun.
It was a good plan.
>>
No. 478971 ID: d4ad1a

Tiddles' speech patterns and mannerisms seem male, to me. I generally trust my intuition with regard to these sorts of things.

Questions? Not really. I'm sure Tiddles will reveal what we need to know about him in due time. We're only just getting to know each other, after all.
>>
No. 478976 ID: d1efde

Well I figured male because the outfit gave the impression of a large frame. I'm not married to the idea or anything.
>>
No. 479007 ID: 54c7e5

I kinda though that they were a golem of some sort, but that's because of the first impression of the mask.

We can infer that they were in a mage school, that she dropped out after getting under investigation for something or other (justice, righteousness, inherently contradictory), apprenticed under a mechanic and picked up some quite advanced for the setting abilities (gun), and thon is pretty good at planning for a specific scenario.
>>
No. 479008 ID: 53688c

We picked male so that when he goes into battle, we can make awful jokes about him sticking his knife in people.

That said, I've got no aversion to our lovely knife wizard being female.
>>
No. 479009 ID: 886a4d

I wouldn't mind a female knife wizard.
>>
No. 479012 ID: beeca1

Tiddles' gender is surely knife.
>>
No. 479013 ID: 501984
File 135561386241.png - (38.66KB , 800x600 , 27.png )
479013

Some of you have the right idea here, but to clarify.

The second question is just a sly way of asking:

Is our protagonist male or female?

I did not mean to hint that our protagonist was female, but merely that they could be.
>>
No. 479021 ID: 6cc859

Well, let's hear some more about this rivalry that was so extreme as to drive a fairly large-scale series of murders and destruction of property.

Also, Tiddles is obviously male. I am sure the universe would never be so boring as to pull the tired old "heavy-clothing-wearing assasin is ACTUALLY A GIRL HA HA SURPRISE" cliche.
>>
No. 479022 ID: 886a4d

I vote female.
>>
No. 479025 ID: aff0c0

>>479021
male indeed
>>
No. 479029 ID: c31f72

I'm gonna vote for them being a eunuch.
>>
No. 479031 ID: 9b155d

Male
>>
No. 479033 ID: beeca1

Male but his genitals were replaced with knife.
>>
No. 479044 ID: 6dc5a6

>>479033

Knife wizard has no need for your fleshy love sacks.
>>
No. 479068 ID: 2bafff

Male
>>
No. 479070 ID: 08da1f

Female
>>
No. 479071 ID: 08da1f

I vote female
>>
No. 479073 ID: af777a

Male
>>
No. 479091 ID: d4ad1a

Male. As nice as it is to have female protagonists, I don't know why we have to pick them every GODDAMN time we host a quest here. Seriously, guys.
>>
No. 479092 ID: d1efde

Considering we'll obsess over hooking them up with attractive women either way I hardly think it matters.
>>
No. 479096 ID: c82bfa

I think male eunuch has a lot of potential to be interesting.
>>
No. 479097 ID: 35dd62

male, goddammit.
>>
No. 479148 ID: cf49fc

Male. It just seems that way.

I AM BLOODY SICK OF FEMALE PROTAGONISTS, GIVE US ONE WHO THINKS WITH HIS BALLS.
>>
No. 479151 ID: b53faa

Actually, I'm changing my vote to female. For some reason I really want this, though I have no clue why that is.
>>
No. 479154 ID: beeca1

>>479148
Would you be okay with a male knife-eunuch thinking with his knives?
>>
No. 479155 ID: 60fee2

female
>>
No. 479157 ID: e76c60

I vote Male. As much as I dig empowering female protagonists, we have enough estrogen around here to choke a horse.
>>
No. 479165 ID: cf49fc

>>479154
Acceptable. We simply waaaaaay too many chicks around here. No wonder most of the men are awkward and bad at planning.
>>
No. 479167 ID: f74554

Voting for Male with intact genitals.
>>
No. 479195 ID: 196d1b

I see no reason to not have male, that's what I read the character as.
>>
No. 479221 ID: 08da1f

Let's have a protagonist with an ambiguous gender appearance, and a gender-neutral name.

We never learn the actual gender.
>>
No. 479222 ID: 08da1f

97% of all video game protagonists are guys, so I counter that with making our heroes here girls.

I vote female!
>>
No. 479259 ID: ec06d0

>>479222
This isn't vchan.
>>
No. 479287 ID: cf49fc

>>479222
Dammit man, we already have a 97% female protagonist rating here! Let us have this, it's getting to be like a Miyazaki flick up there.
>>
No. 479298 ID: 08da1f

>>479221

I second this, then no one is displeased.
>>
No. 479327 ID: 196d1b

>>479221
>>479298
That's actually a pretty interesting idea, keeping on with the status quo.
>>
No. 479328 ID: 68bbc5

Tiddles is obviously a male name.
>>
No. 479340 ID: cf49fc

>>479327
Kill him!
>>479328
Praise him!

Can't think, must sleep.
>>
No. 479355 ID: 51a2e0

Votin' male.
>>
No. 479356 ID: d4ad1a

Man man man man man.
>>
No. 479370 ID: 143159

muh votin' be for uh wumyn!
>>
No. 479371 ID: 3b440e

A dude!

With a penis!
>>
No. 479382 ID: 2f4b71

Another vote for ambiguous gender.
>>
No. 479613 ID: 3fcc04

You folks seem to be missing that this is titled, "Godless Quest" which is a name that matches in cliché-logic with masculine warlord and ascension to power nonsense.

The necessary antidote to cliché-stacking in this case seems to be making this protagonist female, and pregnant.
>>
No. 479616 ID: 92c81e

>>478937
Male. The personality would seem kinda weird on a female character, honestly.
>>
No. 479626 ID: 228c0b

malegetitoverwithrealywejustwanttoplay.
>>
No. 479629 ID: f2c20c

Male, because that's what I thought it was all along.
>>
No. 479631 ID: 501984
File 135583095765.png - (42.92KB , 800x600 , 28.png )
479631

Hello again, Carl.

I've killed Javier, burned his house down, murdered several of his guards, fled the city, and collected my hidden cache of supplies.

By most definitions, everything has gone according to plan.

And yet, with half the town on fire, an invasion fleet in the harbour, and the best hope for the town's defense lying dead outside his home, I feel that calling the night a success might be a bit preemptive.

Most would probably be more comfortable calling it a disaster.
>>
No. 479632 ID: 501984
File 135583102312.png - (54.12KB , 800x600 , 29.png )
479632

But for the moment, Carl, we should be fine.

I've been walking for a few hours now, and the sun rose a short while ago.

This road leads to the town of Banton, and at my current pace, I should make it there sometime around noon. With any luck, the invaders will spend most of the day consolidating their foothold, and won't attempt to take any more ground for a day or two. It's a shame I don't feel particularly lucky today.

Regardless, I've been thinking, Carl. You really don't seem to know much about, well, anything. And as nice as it is to have a babbling trinket, your advice would be somewhat more useful if you actually knew things about the world. I figure I can cover a major topic or two before anything interesting happens, so I’ll give you the choice between the gods, current technology (and how I was able to kill Javier), magic, and history. If you can think of anything else you want to know about, feel free to ask.

Oh, and I've found a way to silence you. I hope you didn't mind too much, I wanted a moment of privacy.

And then I forgot for about you for several hours.

It's been a long day, Carl, and I haven't had much sleep recently.
>>
No. 479639 ID: c82bfa

>>479632
Ah, don't worry about anything. Your plan worked as intended, it's a beautiful day, and the invaders won't care about you, probably. Plus you get to eat a proper lunch in a town, which might turn out to be a luxury depending on how things go.

As for what to talk about, well, the most important information is about the nature of the invaders and of whatever people might be chasing you from your own nation. But if you don't know much about that, the tech stuff sounds interesting.
>>
No. 479641 ID: 242e27

tech, gods, and the specifics of your godlessness.
>>
No. 479650 ID: 29e3e3

all of it.
>>
No. 479663 ID: 54c7e5

History, gods. More practical in the short term, seeing as how we always end up in ruins, or countries, or talking to people about events, or...
Also, magic seems to be something that primarily comes from the gods, so eh? We can probably extrapolate about magic from the gods.
>>
No. 479675 ID: d4ad1a

Let's just go in order, we'll get the other two another time.
>>
No. 479687 ID: a5d914

You know I was thinking about Javier. You said he was acting strangely, he had absolutely no escort and was easier to kill than you thought. What are the chances he'd lost his position as Chosen of Light? Would that account for it? Was there any way to tell?

I'd like to have a bit of history and geography. You know get the lay of the land and what it's all about.
>>
No. 479689 ID: 252e1b

>>479632
The state of technology, please.

If we have a reference for what is available we can make practical suggestions on improving it.
>>
No. 479693 ID: 32e092

>>479689
This. There's a nonzero chance we can make you stinking rich with practical engineering advice.
>>
No. 479698 ID: 997ce7

Tell us about your technology, particularly the most recent breakthrough cheap and miniaturized enough to be in widespread use.
>>
No. 479705 ID: 196d1b

Magic and technology. Those should best confer how the world works in a practical sense. Looking at the technology the world seems to be in a state where guns are effective enough to be used, but not enough so to make swords uncommon. Although depending on what types of magic are relatively widespread that might not be a very good indicator.
>>
No. 479782 ID: 3fcc04

Cosmology through magic and technology is the angle I would suggest initially because many of us come from worlds with no magic or gods at all. In contrast, the standards of how human societies work tend not to deviate too far from certain norms and are something we can work out ourselves if we have enough bits and pieces to match against what we already know. Further: The highlights of your social order no doubt are informed by the particulars in physics and cosmogony of the world it exists in.

We also have among us those who wield fire, lightning, disease, metal, magnetism, light and other interesting things as our tools and toys, often without any magic. We may be able to suggest certain refinements to your existing technology and technique or other useful applications.
>>
No. 479805 ID: 501984
File 135591960783.png - (16.62KB , 800x600 , 30.png )
479805

Technology it is, then.

Well, I suppose weapons are as good of a place to start as any. Currently, most fighting and warfare is done with enchanted crossbows or swords and spears and the like. Given how easy it is to enchant a weapon to be absurdly sharp, heavy armour doesn’t see much use outside of the rare heavily enchanted (and incredibly expensive) set that can actually stand up to enchanted weapons. The latest technological innovation in warfare would be guns, but even those are probably a hundred years old now.

Basically, someone got it in their head that propelling bits of metal at people was a good idea, and messed around with propulsion systems until they found that magic had the smallest chance of sudden, catastrophic failure. Even with that in place, they weren’t that great, as they had to be enchanted to even work, they had fairly terrible accuracy, and they took an age to reload. By most reckoning, an enchanted crossbow was easier to use, cheaper to make, and just as effective. Despite that, guns were still quite popular for a while, at least until a proper magical defense against bullets was devised. Now, they’re more or less useless, and are better suited to adorning someone’s fireplace than being held by a soldier.

My gun? Well, in one of my classes at the academy, we learned about metals that are resistant to magic. While one might think that would make them be great for use in weapons, they are terribly heavy and malleable, and they lose their anti-magic when alloyed. The thing is, the very same properties that make them horrible for use in blades also happen to make them excellent for use in bullets.

Or rather, they would make excellent bullets, if the propulsion enchantments on a gun could actually, well, propel them.

So, my gun is actually based on some of the oldest designs, using mundane explosives to propel magic-resistant bullets. It still takes forever to reload, has issues hitting the broad side of a barn, and may explode if mishandled, but I think its effectiveness speaks for itself.

Oh, and that would be how I silenced you, Carl. You had a luxury ride in a sack full of resistant bullets.
>>
No. 479806 ID: 501984
File 135591968911.png - (19.83KB , 800x600 , 31.png )
479806

Communication and transportation of goods is an odd mix of horseback transportation (and carriages) and teleportation magic. Teleportation is basically great, even despite the fact that it literally never works right. While it might not be too big of a problem if one half of a crate of fruit arrives a foot above the other half, a couch, sculpture, or tourist appearing in two pieces would be catastrophic.

Really, anything that needs to make it to its destination intact has to go the slow way. This generally covers messages and letters and the like, if only because having to piece your mail together like a jigsaw puzzle is agonizing.

As far as convenience items go, the newest thing everyone owns is probably a refrigerator. Basically, they’re magical ice-boxes for keeping your food fresh. They have to be recharged with magic every now and then, but the amount they need is so small that even non-mages can easily keep their own running. I think the main thing keeping them from mass production was a cheap source of decent insulation that played nice with whatever complex enchantments they needed to run. Before that, refrigerators we’re pretty much exclusively used by restaurants and the like.

Uh. Hmmn.

This is not the easiest thing, trying to figure out what may or may not be important.

Most people use wood or coal stoves, but anyone that can use fire magic with any degree of proficiency probably prefers to cook using their own flames. You get more control over the heat.

Plumbing is a thing that most towns and cities have. There was a bit of a debacle with lead pipes when they were first introduced, but it's all been sorted out.

Most medicine and healing is done with magic, and the bit that isn’t is just herbal remedies or basic first aid. You know, bandaging wounds so nobody bleeds out before someone that can heal arrives.

Printing presses exist, but most of what they churn out isn’t worth reading. They do keep the libraries stocked full of books, though.



I’m not sure what else would be worth mentioning. On to questions, I suppose.
>>
No. 479807 ID: 501984
File 135591977492.png - (46.28KB , 800x600 , 32.png )
479807

> As for what to talk about, well, the most important information is about the nature of the invaders and of whatever people might be chasing you from your own nation.
Simply put, I know nothing about the invaders, outside of their obvious mastery of boats and fire. I didn’t see anything distinguishing in my flight from the town, and I can’t think of anyone that would ever consider invading us. I mean, our gods operate fairly locally, so we’re basically the only nation that has magic. There are some groups of beastmen and demi-humans that do pretty well for themselves, but nothing that could even come close to taking a city.

> You know I was thinking about Javier. You said he was acting strangely, he had absolutely no escort and was easier to kill than you thought. What are the chances he'd lost his position as Chosen of Light? Would that account for it? Was there any way to tell?
I am fairly sure that this is not the case. It has never happened before, and being chosen is really a birth till death sort of deal. I’d think his strangeness and lack of escort would be more due to the invasion than anything else. I mean, what kind of 'hero' would he be if he pulled his escort away from the defense of the town?

But I suppose that’s just who he was, always trying to look good for the people. He always was more of the sort to run away from the fighting to let others die in his stead.

> There's a nonzero chance we can make you stinking rich with practical engineering advice.
Given the current state of invasion, I doubt there will be the time or materials to engineer enough of something to actually sell. And even then, it’s not like someone will just buy up a few hundred of some untested device or weapon. It’s a nice thought, though.

> Ah, don't worry about anything. Your plan worked as intended, it's a beautiful day, and the invaders won't care about you, probably. Plus you get to eat a proper lunch in a town, which might turn out to be a luxury depending on how things go.
Very reassuring, Carl. Though, I am looking forward to that lunch.

And that’s it, I think. I suppose I’ll move on to the gods next. Or, alternatively, we could enjoy the rest of the walk in silence. I’m sure listening to me listing off common knowledge isn’t exactly the most exciting thing. I don’t mind too much either way, Carl, and I’ll answer any questions you have about what I’ve already covered before anything else.
>>
No. 479809 ID: ec6d4c

>Given the current state of invasion, I doubt there will be the time or materials to engineer enough of something to actually sell. And even then, it’s not like someone will just buy up a few hundred of some untested device or weapon.
It's called wartime profiteering, my friend. Sometimes tricky to pull off right, but definitely an opportunity to be exploited, all the same.
>>
No. 479816 ID: 51a2e0

I have to agree. In times of war and strife, people tend to be rather hasty when it comes to buying things that will give them an edge against the enemy. Though that will have to wait until we know what the enemy is.

For now, why don't you tell us about the gods?
>>
No. 479832 ID: c33f8f

Spill the beans on the gods Tiddles
>>
No. 479838 ID: 2f4b71

> metals that are resistant to magic [...] they are terribly heavy and malleable, and they lose their anti-magic when alloyed
Do they retain their anti-magic properties at high temperatures (i.e. when molten)?
>>
No. 479839 ID: 163711

so lead is antimagic, huh? there are some ways to use that in a blade, depending on yous skill as a metalworker; if the bullets blocked our magic then you can use it as something like a shield on a normal blade, just coat the sides with lead. this is less likely to work, however, than actually making a bi-metal, folded non alloy for the blade a-la damascus, with a pure lead handle. and if you can get access to the necessary capital, we can certainly help you with your problems with the possibly-exploding-gun.
>>
No. 479847 ID: 1166ed

nope, tell us about the gods.
>>
No. 479849 ID: 6dc5a6

What are your goals now Tiddles? Do you care enough about your town to try to protect it from the invaders? Or would you rather develop the world's first magic lever action rifle?
>>
No. 479865 ID: cf49fc

Oh dear. Your nation is the only one with magic, and guns are 100 years old?

The rest of the world has probably moved on in weapons research. I must assume they have a grudge, for some reason. Ah well. I recommend an army of unstoppable Knife Elementals. Conquer the world. With Knives.
>>
No. 479903 ID: c82bfa

>>479805
So you made a proper gun with lead and gunpowder instead of poncing about with some silly magical gun. Good on you. Just remember to keep your powder-horn dry and away from an open flame, and that gun will take you far. What kind of action does it have?

>>479806
Sounds like a market revolution is coming if it's not already happened.

>>479865
The question is, can you give a magical construct a gun with antimagical ammo, or is it too potent and would disrupt the animating spells?
>>
No. 479916 ID: dba375

Magic sure sounds like it does interesting things to technological development. It fills up niches where it's vastly superior to existing technology, and doesn't really seem to improve, so that any competing technologies can't incrementally improve enough to catch on even if they have the potential to be far greater if pursued. Why would you build the infrastructure for electric light bulbs if you can just enchant a fixture to glow on its own? I'm curious as to what the state of technology in the other less magical nations is.

Let's hear about the gods, they sound important. As does your personal circumstances with them.
>>
No. 479917 ID: beeca1

Plastics sound like they would revolutionize things.
>>
No. 479922 ID: bf54a8

a good but simple way to improve gun accuracy is rifling. you etch a 4 grooves in a plus shape on the inside of the barrel that spiral around slightly through the whole barrel. this makes the bullet spin when it is fired, and so it goes through the air better. also how are the bullets made? casting or carving? if cast in a mold they should be identical in just about every way letting you make your gun barrel as close a fit as possible. combing these two simple modifications in one gun will yield a better accuracy.

a much much more complicated upgrade is the Revolver. it can fire six shots in a row before reloading. will explain more if you ask.
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No. 479962 ID: c82bfa

>>479922
I don't see any reason why bullets wouldn't be cast, but rifling is more hassle than it's worth unless the guns are breech-loading which they don't seem to be, and machining a gun with the precision required to make a simple breach loader that doesn't lose power would be a bit beyond Tiddles' current resources.
>>
No. 480075 ID: 2f4b71

>>479962
The first rifles were muzzle-loaders, and significantly more effective than their smoothbore contemporaries. But without access to a lathe, rifling a barrel is damn-near impossible. And for one-off custom made firearms, adding breech-loading and sealed cartridges is not out of the question either.
>>
No. 480081 ID: e3aff6

Tell us more about Javier, and the things he did.
>>
No. 480086 ID: bf54a8

>>480075
there could be a magic method to get around the lack of tools. it's only the bullets that are magic-proof, not the gun itself.
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No. 480087 ID: 92c81e

>>479916
True, although magic may not be completely static either. It may evolve or change over time.
>>
No. 480090 ID: 9d3dcd

Ah. A primitive gun design. Master. I have good news. We can show you nonmagical guns that vastly surpass the ones of this world.
>>
No. 480099 ID: beeca1

>>480090
And then we have to show him the tools to make the tools to make the tools for making the guns. Not to mention the materials themselves.

Although if magic can mass-produce stuff with high accuracy, then we're in luck.
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No. 480114 ID: 32e092

>>479807
>Given the current state of invasion, I doubt there will be the time or materials to engineer enough of something to actually sell. And even then, it’s not like someone will just buy up a few hundred of some untested device or weapon. It’s a nice thought, though.
Given the current state of invasion, people will be absolutely leaping to buy something that they can use to defend themselves. And it looks like we have a lot to offer in that regard! Step one for a better gun is to pack the bullets and propellant into thin metal cartridges (Brass works well) with an impact-sensitive spot at the back to set it all off. These improve safey (less chance of overloading powder) and can be loaded into a gun barrel far more rapidly than separate components, and the pressure of the propellant will force the cartridge walls against the barrel, creating a tight seal for the duration of firing, which means you can cut a hole in the side of the barrel to load the cartridges through so you can reload even faster. All this requires little in the way of metalworking and can be easily demonstrated as an improvement

tl;dr you can make up for killing that one town's best chance of defense by giving your entire kingdom an even better one, and come out of it with enough money to buy nobility.
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No. 480123 ID: b608d1

Knowledge of the gods would be nice. A thought strikes me however: You did not remove the bullet used on Javier. Your secret antimagic bullets may become known. It looked like the shot went through his head though so it might not be found among all the burning rubble.
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No. 480229 ID: 163711

>>480114
more than that, it is possible that the brass shell holding the lead bullet can be affected by magic, therefore opening a wide variety of methods for fast loading, ejection of shells, ect. think about it; from muzzle loading smooth-bores to fully automatic hyperburst rifles in a month. the foes of our master shall know terror, but only for a very short time before they shall know the afterlife.
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No. 480255 ID: f2c20c

>>479807
Can't you make a servicable mace out of magic-resistant metal? Or would the enchantment just block the shaft since making that out of a soft metal is a bad idea?

>>480229
Oh, that's an idea. Instead of having the magic propel the bullet directly, it could propel a casing around the bullet, which is designed to break off of the bullet as it exits the barrel. Or it could be organized like a crossbow...

Why don't they just make magic-resistant arrowheads for crossbow bolts? Surely an enchanted crossbow can just direct its energy at the shaft to move the bolt?
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No. 480258 ID: 32e092

>>480255
Plan caseless discarding sabot rifle is GO.
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No. 480270 ID: 501984
File 135617998269.png - (24.73KB , 800x600 , ihopeyoulikereading.png )
480270

>It's called wartime profiteering, my friend. Sometimes tricky to pull off right, but definitely an opportunity to be exploited, all the same.
>In times of war and strife, people tend to be rather hasty when it comes to buying things that will give them an edge against the enemy.
I suppose you’re right.

>a good but simple way to improve gun accuracy is rifling.
>a much much more complicated upgrade is the Revolver. it can fire six shots in a row before reloading.
>Plastics sound like they would revolutionize things.
>We can show you nonmagical guns that vastly surpass the ones of this world.
>And then we have to show him the tools to make the tools to make the tools for making the guns. Not to mention the materials themselves.
All of these sound like decent ideas, Carl. It’s probably not the best idea to pursue them immediately, considering I’m currently trying to outpace an invasion force, but if we happen to come into the money, materials, and time to get something done, we’ll make it happen.

>so lead is antimagic, huh?
No, Carl. Lead is another soft, heavy metal that was used in plumbing for a while before it was discovered to be poisonous. And in a number of other things. I can’t seem to think of the proper name for the stuff at the moment, but that’s just me being tired.

>There are some ways to use that in a blade…
Well, if you had enough of another metal mixed in for the sword to stand up to actual combat, you’d be able to affect the normal metal with magic. It’d resist magic better than a normal sword, but it would also be incredibly heavy for its size, and likely far less durable. If you wanted a sword that could bypass magical defenses, you could enchant it to do exactly that. It would otherwise be a normal sword, but it is very possible to enchant something to resist specific types of magic. Before you even think it, such a sword wouldn’t have worked against Javier; his defenses would have been too strong for it. Regardless, swords and the like have been a mainstay in warfare for a long time now, so most of the ‘improvements’ you can think of have probably been tested at some point or the other.

>more than that, it is possible that the brass shell holding the lead bullet can be affected by magic…
Antimagic bullet. The same pretty much applies here. While it would be possible to move the brass shell with magic, the extra weight alone would make them annoying to manipulate, and then you have the resistance to magic atop that.

>Why don't they just make magic-resistant arrowheads for crossbow bolts?
Well, outside of being poorly weighted and having little to no penetration, defenses would still affect the shaft. The metals don't really dispel magic, the just sort of ignore it. And If you have enough of it close enough together, it starts to suppress magic around it.

>Plan caseless discarding sabot rifle is GO.
I tried sabots. Even with a magic gun, you’re still just applying a force to the projectile, so adding a bunch of weight in the form of a sabot significantly affects your muzzle velocity. And you do need a sizable sabot, as …

Well.

Magic. Yeah, this is why magic was an option for a topic.

It would take a long time to explain exactly why it doesn't work, and I have questions to answer and gods to discuss. Just take my word for it, sabots do not work well enough to make an effective weapon.

>Do they retain their anti-magic properties at high temperatures (i.e. when molten)?
Probably? As I said, it’s not lead, so it has a fairly normal melting point for a metal. I’m not sure what you’re thinking here, but it’s likely infeasible to keep the metal molten for long enough. It’s not like you can just use magic to keep it hot.

>You did not remove the bullet used on Javier. Your secret antimagic bullets may become known.
It hardly matters. It’s not as if a regular gun could even come close to scratching him, and the wound it left was most definitely a bullet wound.

>The question is, can you give a magical construct a gun with antimagical ammo, or is it too potent and would disrupt the animating spells?
Animated constructs are…

Well, they exist, but really only the gods and some of the chosen have ever been skilled enough to make them. It’s easy enough to move something around like a puppet, and it’s not even unheard of to make something that can repeat some task in the absence of its creator, but anything that acts of its own volition is a magnitude above what even the most accomplished mages dare to dream of.

>I recommend an army of unstoppable Knife Elementals. Conquer the world. With Knives.
Really, Carl? It was one knife. I bought it because it would be easier to clear out Javier’s guards with something sharp, and it was cheaper than a sword. It broke when it went out the window. I have no more knives.

>I'm curious as to what the state of technology in the other less magical nations is.
Well, we’re on decent terms with the nations near us, so with trading and whatnot they’re more or less the at the same state we are. Even the magic equipment isn’t too uncommon; lots of people travel, and recharging a few things for the locals is a fast, easy way to make a bit of money.

>Tell us more about Javier, and the things he did.
As much as I would love to rant about him for a while, he’s dead. I don’t see anything about him becoming particularly important in the future, all things considered.

>What are your goals now Tiddles? Do you care enough about your town to try to protect it from the invaders? Or would you rather develop the world's first magic lever action rifle?
Hmn. The plan before the invasion was to get out of town, travel far enough that nobody would know me, offer you and the sword to a god, and get a job and live happily ever after. While mages aren’t exactly uncommon, ‘telekinesis’ is pretty much one of the best things you can have on a resume.

Now, with the invasion? I’m not so sure. If the military gets it together and repels the invasion, the old plan could still work. But the invaders are a sizable unknown here, and after seeing what they did to the town, I’m not sure that this will all sort itself out.

Either way, the town’s as good as dead. It didn’t exactly have a large garrison, and its resident chosen is dead.

Honestly? I think it’s a bit early to be planning. We know nothing about the invaders, and we know nothing about what the gods’ response will be. But if I had to put together a list of things to be done, It would probably look something like:

- Get to Banton.
- Eat lunch.
- Get information about invaders. A messenger should have been sent out the moment the ships appeared on the horizon.
- Leave Banton. It will probably be invaded soon.
- ???
- And maybe invent something along the way.
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No. 480271 ID: 501984
File 135618007790.png - (159.77KB , 800x600 , 34.png )
480271

>For now, why don't you tell us about the gods?
Alright, then.

The gods weren’t always around. At some point in the distant past, they came to our world, and for lack of a better description, everything went to shit. Groups of people sided with various gods because who doesn’t want magic, the gods had petty fights and basically everything was at war with everything else for several hundred years. Or longer, according to some. Eternal war isn’t exactly sustainable, so eventually something gave. There was a bit of a revolution among the people, and somehow, one of the gods was killed. This somehow led to a treaty of sorts, where the gods basically agreed to divide the populace such that each god had their own group of followers to lord over without the other gods interfering. And then we all lived happily ever after.

Or so the legends say, anyways. Given the gods’ close involvement with pretty much everything, recorded history isn’t the most reliable source.

Regardless, the remaining gods follow the rules that have been laid out, and everyone gets along well enough despite old rivalries.

As for the gods themselves:

Haemorus is the Lord of Blood. His domains are Life and Death. His magics focus on the manipulation of flesh, blood, and bone. He is associated with the Bat, feasting upon flesh. His people are barbers, morticians, doctors, assassins, and butchers. His people tend to be distant and calm, seemingly less affected by events than others.

As a rule, those with the favour of Haemorus live longer. As such, I’ve been sure to make offerings to keep on decent terms with him.

Cyra is the Lord of Fire. Her domains are Warmth and Refuge. Her magics focus on the creation and manipulation of fire. She is associated with the Lion, protecting her kin. Her people are soldiers, innkeepers, smiths, guards, and chefs. Her people tend to be passionate about what they do and kind towards those they care for. Those they don’t care for don’t last very long.

Cyra is probably not the happiest with me. Not enough that she’d care to do anything about it, but I haven’t gone out of my way to appease her and she’s not incredibly fond of murderers.

Sohlarn is the Lord of Light. His domains are Freedom and Order. His magics focus on light and guidance. He is associated with the Eagle, flying high above. His people are leaders, jailors, judges, politicians, and executioners. His people tend to believe in honour, justice, and righteousness, and often value them more than most would consider reasonable.

Given recent events, Sohlarn will likely kill me if I ever dare to set foot in one of his churches. I never liked him or his people much anyways, so it’s not a big loss.

Fwyn is the Lord of Earth. Her domains are Nature and Creation. Her magics focus on the manipulation of earth and stone. She is associated with the Beaver, constructing a den. Her people are hunters, masons, herbalists, engineers, and farmers. Her people tend to be dependable, if a bit reclusive.

I don’t think I’ve done anything that would annoy Fwyn, so she’s probably indifferent about me.

Karas is the Lord of Winds. Her domains are Novelty and Change. Her magics focus upon the manipulation of winds and weather. She is associated with the Raccoon, surviving behind masks. Her people are sailors, revolutionaries, couriers, vagrants, and inventors. Her people find entertainment in simple things, but tend to bore easily.

I haven’t had too much to do with Karas in the past, but given current events, I think I might have to look into making an offering or two.

Hyrssa is the Lord of Seas. His domains are Hope and Ambition. His magics focus on the manipulation of luck. He is associated with Hermit Crab, seeking a shell. His people are merchants, gamblers, entrepreneurs, prospectors, and ambassadors. His people tend to believe that the world is not as great as it could be. How they act on that is a bit more varied.

In the past I’ve tried to be on good terms with Hyrssa for the extra bit of luck it provides. That said, he might not be too happy with me over Javier’s death. A lot of people looked to him as a role model, and he was more or less the best hope for the town’s defense. On the other hand, he might appreciate that I’m trying something different with my life.

Nothe is the Lord of Darkness. Her domains are Discovery and Secrets. Her magics focus on Observation and Illusion. She is associated with the Coyote, hunting in the night. Her people are explorers, psychologists, spies, lawyers, and scientists. Her people often make strange leaps in thought, and are notoriously hard to follow in conversation.

Nothe has a bit of a rivalry with Sohlarn, so she’s probably quite happy with me considering the circumstances of Javier’s death.

And that's the lot of them. Really, you don’t have to do much about the gods to keep a relatively normal life. By default your patron god will be happy with you, and making the others more than indifferent is generally as easy as offering your pocket change to their church every now and then. They really just don’t care enough to bother punishing minor sleights, so as long as you avoid doing anything extra heretical (like killing one of their chosen), you’ll be fine.

And yes, as many of you have guessed, I was born without a patron god. It's not completely unheard of for it to happen, but it's rare enough that most people aren't aware of it.

Anyways, it really only means that my personality and the like were not strongly influenced by any of the gods, I'm not particularly great with any of their magics, and I can't belong to any church.

It does get a bit weird when gods do want to affect me, though. Positive stuff works just fine, but a part of their divine agreement is that the gods can only punish their own disciples. So, for example, if a follower of Fwyn went and murdered one of the Chosen of Karas, Karas would have to either ask Fwyn to punish the follower, or ask for her permission to act against the follower. Either way, Fwyn would probably agree, even if only to avoid making enemies among the gods.

Obviously, with me not having a patron god, I'm in this awkward punishment grey area where there isn't a specific god that is supposed to keep me in line. When these grey areas crop up, the gods have to reach some sort of consensus before anyone can do anything about it. Well, do anything about it without angering the rest of the gods. The original plan for killing Javier hinged on the consensus delay, but it all worked out regardless.

And honestly, I can't see them giving Sohlarn permission to hunt me down. It's not like I would just go quietly, I've proven I'm capable of killing Chosen, and the gods are very adverse to sending anything stronger than the Chosen to deal with problems. And none of that even matters now that they have an invasion to deal with.
>>
No. 480272 ID: 501984
File 135618016872.png - (37.76KB , 800x600 , 35.png )
480272

Oh, hey. Banton.

It looks like there’s a bit of a guard presence, and they’ll likely be wondering why I’m walking in at this hour, alone, on a road that leads only to an invaded town.

You have any ideas about what to tell them, Carl?
>>
No. 480276 ID: b53faa

>>480272
Time to get your gameface on, mate.
Slap some mud on yourself, muss up your hair.
Today's order of the day is "Distraught survivor," and you best play it well.
Don't go overboard, though. We don't want any suspicions to arise when you make your miraculous "recovery."
Just some mild shaking and a lightly-vacant stare will do.
>>
No. 480282 ID: c33f8f

Can't you just circle to some other road?
Also how well can you see without your glasses?
>>
No. 480284 ID: cf49fc

>>477984
Good plan. Totally true as well. Try walking through brambles to get more minor injuries. Inform the guard of the armada of flame spewing murder ships.
>>
No. 480287 ID: f2c20c

You could claim to have set out before the invasion happened, and witnessed it while camping off the side of the road.

Being a ragged survivor could be odd considering you seem well-packed.
>>
No. 480288 ID: 6336b0

I don't see why you can't just walk up and tell them that you are running (well, walking really) away from the giant invasion fleet that just wrecked the town you were in.

Honesty is the best policy and all that.
>>
No. 480289 ID: f2c20c

Also, uh, if one of the gods was killed during that war, shouldn't there be a hole in the pantheon? Like, elements that aren't represented? I guess there isn't a direct opposite for Haemorus. What would oppose Life and Death though? Or maybe Haemorus used to represent just one of those two aspects? Like, there used to be a Life god and a Death god, but one died so the other took both roles?
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No. 480335 ID: 2f4b71
File 135621376282.gif - (8.23KB , 330x140 , Explosively_formed_penetrator.gif )
480335

>>Do they retain their anti-magic properties at high temperatures (i.e. when molten)?
>Probably? As I said, it’s not lead, so it has a fairly normal melting point for a metal. I’m not sure what you’re thinking here, but it’s likely infeasible to keep the metal molten for long enough. It’s not like you can just use magic to keep it hot.

Capital!
What I'm thinking here, my bespectacled friend, is to be two steps ahead: eventually, someone is going to cotton to the idea of bullets made of anti-magical metal, and device a countermeasure: thick armour of naturally strong materials. As mentioned before:
>heavy armour doesn’t see much use outside of the rare heavily enchanted (and incredibly expensive) set that can actually stand up to enchanted weapons
We can probably assume any Chosen tasked to go after you would be fairly well-off financially, and forewarned of your ace-in-the-hole, and would be so equipped to shrug off a soft metal ball splattering against their armour.

So you need a can-opener. Let me introduce you to a little thing called the Explosively Formed Penetrator.
>>
No. 480336 ID: 48f315

>>480335
That is an even softer ball of liquid metal. Granted, it has a lot of kinetic energy, but if we become capable of transferring that kinetic energy to liquidized metal we will also be capable of transferring it to small sharp things that are not soft balls of metal.
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No. 480337 ID: bf54a8

for massive damage a Claymore mine may work against an enchanted armor guy. at worst it completely coats them in anti-magic metal. at best the first few weaken the enchantments enough that the rest can break trough.
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No. 480341 ID: c82bfa

>>480270
>I have no more knives.
We should probably rectify that in Banton. A knife is always handy to have.

>>480272
Why lie? You saw the invasion coming in and ran away. It's perfectly reasonable and there's doubtless more on your heels who did the same. If you want you can act like you're trying to put a spin on it, like you ran to valiantly get word out even though obviously you'd much rather have fought. You know, give them an obvious lie so they don't look for another one.
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No. 480353 ID: d2cff6

cross-ref: Unchosen by the Gods, Dead God

Perhaps you are chosen. I believe you would have to ask the god of death, personally, for more details.
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No. 480354 ID: b608d1

What if you just say you are a theology student who was visiting the city to look up some texts in the city library. You were living on the cheap in the guest bedroom of some distant relatives outside the city walls. This night you got wind of some kind of warfare and fires in the city. Then your aunt Janet suggested that you immediately return to your mom and dad before things get worse so you can keep your parents safe and free them from worrying about their son being caught up in fighting.
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No. 480360 ID: dba375

Yeah, let's just tell them the truth. Obviously not the whole truth, but enough to explain your situation. The city was on fire and you saw warships on the horizon, so you did what any sane person would do and ran. If they look through your stuff and see your gun and get suspicious, just explain that it's an old style gun and you're a hobbyist of some sort, and that it's not exactly something you could use to attack a city.
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No. 480397 ID: 4ede1b

>>480353
Or perhaps it might be better to ask the God of Secrets who should currently be looking favorably upon him.
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No. 480450 ID: 501984
File 135626635235.png - (43.38KB , 800x600 , 36.png )
480450

>Time to get your gameface on, mate.
>Slap some mud on yourself, muss up your hair.
>Today's order of the day is "Distraught survivor," and you best play it well.
>Try walking through brambles to get more minor injuries.
Carl. If I can see them, they can see me. Jumping in some bushes would be incredibly suspicious, not to mention that there aren't any brambles readily available. And besides, how could I be roughed up without even seeing any of the invaders?

>Can't you just circle to some other road?
I am currently very tired, somewhat hungry, and the guards can see me. Circling around would be even more suspicious than bush jumping, especially considering that smoke is still visible on the horizon.

And besides, I want some information about the invaders. And lunch. Lunch would be good.

>I don't see why you can't just walk up and tell them that you are running (well, walking really) away from the giant invasion fleet that just wrecked the town you were in.
>Honesty is the best policy and all that.
>Why lie? You saw the invasion coming in and ran away. It's perfectly reasonable and there's doubtless more on your heels who did the same.
>Yeah, let's just tell them the truth. Obviously not the whole truth, but enough to explain your situation. The city was on fire and you saw warships on the horizon, so you did what any sane person would do and ran.
Well, yes, but I happen to also have this neatly packed bag of things, and the only way anyone would show up at this hour is if they left in the dead of night.

>What if you just say you are a theology student who was visiting the city to look up some texts in the city library...
Probably a bit too much information, but I can work with it.

I'l say I was in the city to see if I could scrounge up any information about a few items I inherited from an aunt. I wasn't expecting to stay for long, so I packed light, and I kept most of my things in my bag at the inn. I woke up to noise and fire, saw the warships, and valiantly ran away to get a warning out.

Yeah, that should work. It even explains why I'm carrying a gun, an enchanted sword, and you, Carl.

>Also how well can you see without your glasses?
Well enough that I could easily get by without them. I'm somewhat nearsighted, so I really only need them for reading things that are far away.

>cross-ref: Unchosen by the Gods, Dead God
>Perhaps you are chosen.
>ask the god of death
>ask the God of Secrets
I am fairly sure this isn't the case. The Dead God is most definitely dead. If they cared to answer, The Lord of Blood would tell me exactly that, while the Lord of Darkness would probably encourage me to visit the Dead God's tomb to see for myself. And I mean, what kind of God of discovery and secrets would she be if she just handed out answers to anyone who asked?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think you'll be going back in the pouch for this conversation. You're very distracting and I'm honestly not sure that I'd be able to keep myself from reacting to whatever you'd say.
>>
No. 480451 ID: 501984
File 135626645175.png - (4.10KB , 800x600 , black.png )
480451

...
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No. 480452 ID: 501984
File 135626651740.png - (61.24KB , 800x600 , 37.png )
480452

Well.

They bought my story.

A messenger has passed through already, and is taking the news all the way to the capital.

They didn't mention Javier at all, so news of his death probably hasn't reached this far yet.

This town is being evacuated. It's a very small town and it’s not really in a defensible position, so everyone has been busy packing their things. A caravan will roll out of town in a few hours.

The invaders are mostly human, with some demi-humans mixed in with the infantry.

They do, in fact, have better guns than us, but they are still of the magic variety. It's not good news for our rank and file troops, but organized priests and mages should be able to provide sufficient protection.

The major problem?


They have magic.

I'm fairly sure that the guards weren't supposed to tell me that, but one of them let it slip. They refused to tell me any more about it, and said that if I wanted to know more I'd have to talk to Reva.
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No. 480453 ID: 501984
File 135626661330.png - (44.88KB , 800x600 , 38.png )
480453

This is bad, Carl.

They have to be getting their magic from somewhere, and it's not as though they could just pull up to our shores and suddenly know how to use the magic of our gods.

They're either getting magic from something we don't even know about, or they have their own gods.

And if their gods operate anything like ours do, their presence would be required for their followers to use magic.

Which means that the invaders brought their gods with them.

This is how century-spanning wars start, and that's assuming we muster enough of a defense to hold back their initial assault.



But you know what, Carl? I think I'm too tired to even panic about this.

So, what'll we do first? Find this Reva and try to get more information on the invaders? Try to get some proper lunch before townsfolk finish packing? Help people pack their things? Something else entirely?
>>
No. 480455 ID: bf54a8

gods are needed for the big magic. you don't have a god and you can do some magic. so how much magic they can do is important. if they have someone that is about as powerful as a chosen then yeah, gods are involved.

for now though, get some food and help packing while asking for reva.
>>
No. 480457 ID: 2f4b71

>>480453
>Try to get some proper lunch before townsfolk finish packing?
Priority is food and supplies, then finding Reva. Chatting to the townspeople can wait until the evacuation has gotten underway.

>>480336
Molten things moving very quickly don't care for things like 'sharpness' or 'softness', and are more governed by Newtonian impact depth. Rule of thumb for EFPs is that penetration depth is a little under 1/2 the diameter of the EFP form (e.g. a 60mm EFP will penetrate 25mm of steel at range). Plate armour was about 3mm thick at it;s thickest point, but magic could allow someone to carry significantly more weight, so let's assume 10mm before sheer bluk makes it too hard to move. a 25-30mm diameter EFP should easily cause any Chosen to have a very bad day from a good 50m away. And small enough to be shot some distance from a large gun, and/or strapped to the head of a firework rocket.
Go Go Anti-magic Panzerfaust.
>>
No. 480458 ID: b608d1

Do think twice before going to meet this Reva. It might be wise to avoid the eye of authority figures while the blood is still fresh on your hands so to speak. You killing Javier might be totally overlooked in the chaos following the invasion, but it is possible that inquiries might be made.

I would recommend looking for someone handy to travel with. Maybe a brewer, smith, healer or the like. People with crafts that are in demand. Others will seek them out during the move so you might have a steady string of people passing by that you can question. Help them pack and travel with them and their family.

On the topic of new gods - If your 'old' gods suddenly appeared some time ago then it looks like some more might have simply appeared recently. Perhaps there is something that triggers a divine genesis or the beings known as gods are simply prevalent somewhere else and come to your world to feed on the worship of sentient minds? Who knows. You're also likely to be in very high demand. Your godless status would make you a great spy or infiltrator. I mean you could probably turn up at the enemy camp and just say you want to join the new gods because the old gods have forsaken you all your life.
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No. 480459 ID: 4ede1b

Tiddles, how can you expect us to know a dead god has a tomb or anything for a mortal to examine?

Also, I don't think the idea was that the Dead God is active so much as perhaps people being assigned their god is a bit more automatic and the God you were reserved for just so happens to be dead. Tomb might be a useful place to check-out regardless if new gods are invading.
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No. 480460 ID: 997ce7

>>480457
Point.

How much magic do they have?

And an extended war is very, very good. We're going to be war profiteers, remember?

We sell ourselves to the invaders as a disaffected former worshiper- after all, you wouldn't be killing their Chosen if you were on their side. We sell ourselves to your country as a loyal countryman with a grudge against only one guy and aghast at these invaders.

Then we sell them both tech and weapons. We'll see if we can get the tech to be better than magic and wean them off magic. Then the gods would be less involved.
>>
No. 480466 ID: bf54a8

also an idea, if you were theoretically encased in anti-magic metal, could even a god effect you?
>>
No. 480468 ID: 997ce7

>>480466
Yes, very easily? Anti-magic metal is very soft, and it wouldn't take much godly power to magically hurl heavy things at him.
>>
No. 480469 ID: 53688c

>>480460
Let's not go around telling people about us killing Javier. The fewer know about it, the better.

There are plenty of other ways we can sell our eventual merchandise to either side, should it come to that.
>>
No. 480479 ID: 4d3c09

nothing good comes out of doing things on an empty stomach.
>>
No. 480495 ID: a5c529

Man you people really need to figure electricity out, anyways, let's get lunch, better thoughts roll when the stomach is not distracting.
>>
No. 480496 ID: bf54a8

>>480468
when enough s gathered together it doesn't just make the metal itself immune it starts creating a null-magic ZONE.
>>
No. 480497 ID: 92c81e

>>480496
If there's one thing I learned from Magicka is that a wizard is never immune to rocks.
>>
No. 480504 ID: 6dc5a6

>>480460

Selling out to both sides could be extremely profitable but how the hell do you hide that kinda activity from the gods especially Nothe?
>>
No. 480525 ID: ec2e47

>>480496
Anti-magic is not anti-momentum.
>>
No. 480526 ID: beeca1

>>480504
Easy. The other gods. Get them to stop each other from seeing what's happening.

I'd assume that'd be fairly common in divine wars anyway, since no one likes having their enemy know their every move in advance.
>>
No. 480564 ID: 32e092

>>480525
And we can buffer our way out of any sort of zone by way of air pressure. Magic compresses a cylinder, pressure is routed to a barrel to propel a projectile or sabot.
>>
No. 480567 ID: 32e092

Get some food and make friends by helping pack. You don't urgently need to know more about the invaders; it's not really your problem, so long as you get out in time.
>>
No. 480575 ID: 252e1b

>>480453
I think you should take this opportunity to make some friends. Specifically, a smith or machinist. A small town like this must have one, and he must need help moving his heavy crap.

Smiths will be strategic resources in short order, it's best to be in good with them.

On that note is your bullet metal tin? Zinc? Antimony? C'mon man!

Also, while you've given us an interesting overview of the state of consumer technology, you haven't mentioned manufacturing or infrastructure systems like lathes, production lines, pump systems, power plants (as in prime movers, engines), power storage systems, and the like.
>>
No. 480578 ID: c82bfa

>>480453
Food is the most important thing. How long do you have food for? Get more if you can. A proper lunch, sitting down in a restaurant, is a good idea but not before you're laden with as much non-perishable food as you can carry. Dry rice, hardtack, smoked and dried meats. Vegetables are easier to scrounge, and in a pinch you're better off skimping on them than you are on carbs and protein.

After that, meeting Reva might be wise, and helping the evacuation effort would be noble.

Oh, and remember that even a dead god may dream, and death is not always more permanent than life. But there's no reason to assume that anything that's happened has anything to do with the dead god.
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No. 480591 ID: 66ff59

>>480453
what are you genre-blind? it's obviously the dead god leading the assault!

been in hiding mustering power all this time.

anyhow, how will the gods deal with this if the invaders don't belong to a specific god? how will they retaliate when they're out of the god's domain?
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No. 480627 ID: f2c20c

>>480453
I think we should speak to Reka as our first priority. Lunch can be eaten while traveling.
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No. 480631 ID: 68bbc5

Lunch first. You can't make a good plan on an empty stomach.
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No. 480663 ID: d2cff6

>have no magic

>magic must come from gods

>you specifically are unassociated with the gods, but still have magic

Yeah, so. Either A. You are coupled with one of the gods without knowing (or the dead god as previously mentioned) or B. having gods isn't a prerequisite for having magic.
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No. 480665 ID: d4ad1a

>>480591
Oh yeah, there you go. And only one not born under any gods can stand a chance against his armies, for some reason.
>>
No. 480667 ID: 521153

>>480663
Gods are a prerequisite for having magic, as far as we are aware. Being aligned with a specific god is only a prerequisite for getting magic directly from them. Mages, which our friend here is, manipulate the passive magical energy projected by the gods.

The issue is that an invading force shouldn't know how to manipulate the energy of the gods that are already here. They'd have to be using a different energy source to be even half competent. Which means different gods, or something else entirely.
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