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File 135041853085.png - (12.49KB , 819x460 , SCOM Begins.png )
463595 No. 463595 ID: 5d98c3

Planet Terris
Year: 2XX7 XD
173 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 466922 ID: f6cff9

Nowheresville sounds like a fun place to be.
>>
No. 466990 ID: 0f60d7

Nowheresville! Control the media, control the mind. That's what all good, noble organisations say!
>>
No. 467050 ID: d4ad1a

Belhon is also cool, if only because then we could infiltrate more places afterwards.
>>
No. 467053 ID: 14bafe

>>467050

And also because it doesn't end up having an alien infiltrator near the human population control center.

Plus we'd have infiltrators we could actually trust.
Second option would be Smoozing with the council higher ups, since apparently this guy is a pinnacle of humanity, and would likely secure a LOT of funding.
>>
No. 467055 ID: 5d98c3
File 135153012430.png - (28.17KB , 819x460 , SCOM Novillia Mission.png )
467055

Okay, so the idea I'm getting here is that you're deploying to Nowheresville capital of Novillia. Is this correct, and who will you deploy?
>>
No. 467056 ID: 886a4d

You guys are sending the alien to the biggest propaganda center on Terris. Alright, I'm gonna veto that.

Send him to the moon instead. Have him build a radar outta moonrock.
>>
No. 467057 ID: d4ad1a

>>467056
Don't be such a stick in the mud! His name is Hugh Mann, so he's obviously human. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?
>>
No. 467058 ID: 886a4d

>>467057
You seriously asked that. Oh. My. God. Poor Nowheresville is doomed. What shall the world do without its sitcoms?
>>
No. 467059 ID: 5d98c3
File 135153180759.png - (48.62KB , 819x460 , Tempting fate___.png )
467059

>>467057
>Besides, what's the worst that could happen
>What's the worst that could happen
>Worst that could happen

...

So, who are you sending on this mission?
>>
No. 467060 ID: 886a4d

Lucky.
>>
No. 467061 ID: 44f93b

>>467060
Ditto. The sitcoms will either go horribly wrong or horribly right, but at least they'll be worth watching.
>>
No. 467063 ID: 5d98c3

>>467061
You want the guy whose shtick is skewing probability so that extremely improbable things happen to go on the mission I jokingly implied could blow up the world?

Are you on the Council or something?
>>
No. 467064 ID: 886a4d

>>467063
Better then the Chrysalid.
>>
No. 467065 ID: bf54a8

no no see, we have him be a dumbass therefor victory is improbable, so then we win somehow.
>>
No. 467066 ID: 44f93b

>>467063
The worst thing that could happen isn't necessarily the most improbable thing that could happen.

In fact, given we're under alien invasion, getting the planet blown up probably isn't even that improbable!
>>
No. 467087 ID: 5d98c3
File 135153971739.png - (28.52KB , 748x395 , Rand Research.png )
467087

>>467066
Alright... LUCKY LAINE has been dispatched on the new INTERCEPTOR/TRANSPORT.
A BUNCH OF LOUSY RECRUITS have arrived.
AN OUTDATED BATTLE TANK has arrived.
A ROCKET LAUNCHER has arrived.
A PILE OF UNEXPLODED ROCKETS have arrived.

HUGH MANN requests shoreleave to go to a party.

SPACE BUG INTERROGATION complete.
MAKING MONEY RESEARCH complete.
NOISE WEAPON RESEARCH still a bit to go.

SPACE BUG has offered to join the crew as an interrogator and linguist.

Orders?
>>
No. 467089 ID: bf54a8

deny hugh mann's request because he wanted to go to the party alone and didn't even try to invite anyone else here.
>>
No. 467090 ID: 886a4d

Research Indoctrination, and Gray Analysis.

Have our new friend interrogate Hugh Mann. For.. practice. Ya practice.
>>
No. 467091 ID: 4f6750

Everybody go crash the party. Bring the alien.
... And the tank. Go on, it'll be a laugh.
>>
No. 467093 ID: 886a4d

>>467091
... I like this idea.
>>
No. 467094 ID: 3338b5

We need to hold an interview with the alien, now that we can talk to him. Who is he? What's he doing here? What's his relation to the aliens attack our world, and what does he know about them?
>>
No. 467097 ID: 5d98c3
File 135154214052.png - (50.98KB , 819x460 , First assignment!.png )
467097

>>467094
Check the Dis thread
>>467093
This is the best idea, so yes, everyone's going to the party. By EVERYONE I assume you mean you, as the Commander, all the Rookies, the Swarm Lord, an MBT, and the remaining Interceptor pilot. As the Space Bug is on assignment, Ryan is busy, Engineering is already having a "No Scientists Allowed" party, Research is busy snorting alien rocks to see what happens, and Hugh Mann is in Interrogation, everyone else will head on the PARTY Infiltration Mission to Mezzobadi's hottest nightclub, The Enormous Target. You cram everyone into the remaining Shuttle, and blast off.

MEANWHILE, IN THE INTERROGATION ROOM...
>>
No. 467100 ID: 886a4d

>>467097
Oh... darn.
>>
No. 467101 ID: 3338b5

...we didn't leave any guards or backup for our integrator? Fail.
>>
No. 467104 ID: 14bafe

I thought Hugh Mann was the one who wanted to go to this party in the first place!
>>
No. 467105 ID: f6cff9

We can only hope Ryan figures out that if he can prove Hugh Mann is an alien he could force Hugh Mann to make alien "art" at a huge profit. That or make Hugh Mann show where all of his alien stuff is so he can sell that as well. Only the capitalist can save us now.
>>
No. 467107 ID: 5d98c3

>>467104
You ordered him to be "Practice Interrogated".
>>467105
Ryan is currently having lunch in Engineering.
>>
No. 467109 ID: f6cff9

Well it's rude to go to a party that Hugh Mann wanted to go but not take him so we should go buy some pizza and throw a party at the station. You know bring the party back to the base.
>>
No. 467110 ID: 886a4d

Alright Space Bug. Lets crack this nut. Start cool. Ask him to take a seat. Start slow, get his name. Ask how he likes it here so far. Then start asking about friends, family etc.

You hope the Council scientists weren't too rough. Start probing deeper. Ask about what makes him qualified for infiltration. How he got started. Finally thank him for his time. Let him off easy. Then take your findings to Ryan and tell him we can make a lot of money off a genuine xenomorph. People eat that shit up around halloween.
>>
No. 467116 ID: f6cff9

>>467110
Sounds good
>>
No. 467132 ID: 5d98c3
File 135154812557.png - (42.66KB , 752x586 , Responsive and polite.png )
467132

>>467097
>"P-Please t-take a seat."
"..."
>"Okay, s-standing's okay too."
"..."
>"W-What's your name."
"..."
Hugh lifts up his ID Card.
>"Uhuh... How do you like it here so far?"
"..."
>"Any friends or... family?"
"..."
Hugh holds up a stained wallet full of photos. They depict a normal human family, though the father's face has been crudely replaced with Hugh's.
>"...So what makes you qualified to work here?"
"..."
Hugh places a clean, if scratched skull of indeterminate origin on the table.
>Space Bug has Panicked.
>Space Bug has Fainted.
HIDDEN MOVEMENT

"..."

>>
No. 467134 ID: 886a4d

If our main team comes back to a station full of chrysalids I am so advocating bombing every single Council facility we can find.
>>
No. 467135 ID: f6cff9

>>467134
Yeah but at this point it's kinda our fault for going to a fake party... we can't even blame the Council for that.
>>
No. 467136 ID: 886a4d

>>467135
We tried to get rid of this guy twice now. I blame the council for hoisting yet another sabotage plant on us. Anyone looking at him can tell hes a friggin alien.
>>
No. 467138 ID: 886a4d

>>467137
Yes it is. In my defense when I supported going to the party I meant instead of interrogating the goddamn infiltrator... heh.
>>
No. 467139 ID: f6cff9

>>467136
And we went to a obviously fake party and left the huge ass alien with a tiny bug man. I bet our ventilation system puts out awful chemicals in the air that make people have awful ideas. The ventilation system is Council made isn't it...

Well all we can do now is hope the main team comes back in time.
>>
No. 467142 ID: f6cff9

>>467138
Ugh my bad about deleting and changing my post by a little bit. Anyways just gotta play the waiting game.
>>
No. 467143 ID: b6edd6

It is obvious now: 'Hugh' must be eliminated, because he is a devious council spy! :P
>>
No. 467148 ID: 5d98c3

>>467132
They call it, "The Incense of Good Ideas"!
>>
No. 467159 ID: f2c20c

>>467132
Sound the alarm. All personnel to battle stations. Which would in this case mean to gather in a central location and get the tank ready for combat. Tank goes first into uncleared areas, since it can't get infected.
>>
No. 467162 ID: 5d98c3
File 135155341398.png - (43.02KB , 752x586 , 1.png )
467162

>So dark... what's going on? Where am I?
>>
No. 467163 ID: 5d98c3
File 135155343951.png - (42.72KB , 752x586 , 2.png )
467163

>Am I in bed? I remember fainting for some reason.
>>
No. 467164 ID: 5d98c3
File 135155349898.png - (29.30KB , 752x586 , 2_5.png )
467164

>Now I remember. They sent me to interrogate that... thing. Thank goodness it was all just a horrible nightmare.
>>
No. 467166 ID: 5d98c3
File 135155356214.png - (28.25KB , 752x586 , 3.png )
467166

>Wait a second. My species doesn't get nightma-

>"..."
"..."
>>
No. 467168 ID: 5d98c3
File 135155361822.png - (50.39KB , 752x586 , 3t.png )
467168

"...♥"

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
>>
No. 467169 ID: 5d98c3
File 135155366684.png - (9.56KB , 752x586 , Zoomout1.png )
467169

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
>>
No. 467171 ID: 5d98c3
File 135155378003.png - (9.93KB , 752x586 , Zoomout2.png )
467171

>"Aaaaaaaaaaah!"
>>
No. 467172 ID: 5d98c3
File 135155389304.png - (14.97KB , 819x460 , Zoomout3.png )
467172

>"aaaaaah!"
>>
No. 467174 ID: 5d98c3
File 135155398044.png - (8.71KB , 819x460 , Zoomout palebluedot.png )
467174

>"aaah!"
>>
No. 467175 ID: 5d98c3

>>467174
Orders?
>>
No. 467176 ID: 886a4d

Oh. My. God.

I thought Lucky was OFF the station.

Shhh its alright Buggy. The bad thing is gone. We'll chase him off station... somehow.

Who would have thought that a Chrysalid would go sweet on something. Though with their mating habits thats not exactly reassuring.
>>
No. 467181 ID: f6cff9

Our inner commander heard the plight of our little bug man. We must return back to the base.
>>
No. 467182 ID: f2c20c

Okay, we definitely heard that. Send our party-team back to base.
>>
No. 467259 ID: 5d98c3
File 135156880694.png - (29.19KB , 752x586 , I feel a disturbance.png )
467259

SCOM 2012/10/29(Mon)20:43 No. 467258 ID: 5d98c3

>>467181
Man?
>>467182
MEANWHILE, HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY FROM 'THE LOVESHACK',

This party is KICKIN'. You're so glad you went here instead of to that stupid Council meeting. Everything is going great, until you feel what can only be described as a tremor of shock and horror. You have: No Weapons, No Armor, A Gasmask, an MBT (Outdated, sans ammo), and several dozen expendable personnel. And a space shuttle.

Orders?
>>
No. 467261 ID: 886a4d

Welp. If you guys didn't bring weapons or ammunition back to the base with you.

What sheer incompetence.
>>
No. 467264 ID: 5d98c3

>>467261
How did you expect them to fit weapons and ammo into a transport with sixty eight guys and an MBT crammed into it?
>>
No. 467267 ID: 3338b5

>>467264
You put the weapons in their hands. Or strap them to their backs, or sides. Or somewhere more intimate, if nessary. As a last resort for space conservation, swallow the weapons. Or if you need something more permanent, go for bionic weapon implants.

Or subject yourself to such horrible trauma that reality itself shatters around you and grants you the ability to pull big fucking guns out of thin air so long as you're carrying a bullet.

You know, whatever. Just find a way to remain armed.
>>
No. 467270 ID: 886a4d

>>467264
They could carry them. Or put it all inside the MBT. Or you know have a few people stay behind and make room for the weapons.

Back to the station with them.
>>
No. 467274 ID: 5d98c3

>>467270
It was a PARTY. You didn't say CARPET BOMB the party. You said CRASH the party. And it was standing room only on the ship. Do you really want a crowd of ROOKIES with ASSAULT RIFLES standing in close proximity to you?

Orders?
>>
No. 467279 ID: b6edd6

Gather the tank and the remaining non-drunk rookies (making a mental note to pick up the rest later), then fly back to base in the shuttle.
>>
No. 467280 ID: 886a4d

Now your just being silly. You don't send a tank to a party when you don't expect to use it to kill and maim. And if your bringing a tank your also going to bring weapons for the infantry support.


Oh. I know whats going on... your a council member aren't you? Part of the ongoing sabotage of this effort. I think we need to fire him first.

In fact lets use SCOM as ammunition for the tank.
>>
No. 467286 ID: 5d98c3

>>467280
Behind you, you'll find a box, you impudent whelp. Please waste all your TUs opening it before the SCOM PSI Commandos arrive. Good night, sir!
>>
No. 467309 ID: 886a4d

>>467286
I quit ages ago. The instant I learned the Council was deliberately sabotaging the SCOM project I left that cubicle. Removed all the implants and tracking chips and stole everything that wasn't nailed down.


... I'm surprised you haven't gotten my resignation letter yet. Must be in the mail.

Kilometers away deep underground
Tick-tock tick tock tick tock

Oh thanks by the way for that explosive you planted under the Advisory building. It was handy.
>>
No. 467433 ID: 5d98c3

I'm the one running this adventure, My little friend. I'd appreciate it if you let me do so.
>>
No. 467435 ID: 5d98c3

I'm the one running this adventure, My little friend. I'd appreciate it if you let me do so.
>>
No. 467436 ID: 886a4d

I'd like to point out its you who made me into a character here. But I'll stop heh.
>>
No. 467455 ID: 5d98c3

>>467436
Right. Now that that's over with, are you going to make an order or not?
>>
No. 467462 ID: 1e72ae

>>467259
Just for the record next time; officers always carry a handgun.(I think we only have the one, but still)

>>467455
I say we leave the tank here with 10 people (8 drunk ones and 2 sober if we can) and have the rest look for stuff to use as weapons from the party.(like a boombox or part of a chair) We then get in the ship and go back.
>>
No. 467463 ID: 886a4d

>>467455
I already suggested to leave. No point in staying sans weapons.
>>
No. 467464 ID: f6cff9

Go buy baseball bats at whatever the equivalent to Walmart here for the rookies and go back to the station. We will send the rookies towards the Hugh Mann to distract it(goodbye rookies) and everyone else will go to the armory to get weapons. Keep one or two rookies as human shields with you.
>>
No. 467467 ID: f6cff9

>>467464
bump that up to 3 to 4 human shields. We are gonna need it with our luck.
>>
No. 467488 ID: 5d98c3
File 135162409951.png - (21.58KB , 752x586 , Traditional Toad Splatting Club.png )
467488

>>467463
>>467464
>>467467
Alright, so, feeling a sense of horror from your space base, you decide to leave a few of your drunken comrades behind at the happinest party in town with most of your sober comrades. So you run out to Sol Mart and grab yourselves some weapons, before running back to the ship and blasting off for space. At this point, the fumes of alcohol are so intense the sober pilot is drunk and the drunken pilot is unconscious.

So after some rather silly stunts, and three TV satellites destroyed, you finally manage to crash land safely back on board.

ORDERS?
>>
No. 467496 ID: 886a4d

Head to the armory, grab weapons. Any zombies you should squash with the tank.
>>
No. 467508 ID: f6cff9

>>467496
Fine but be careful of the dangers because a lot of people got drunk from the alcohol fumes on the ride here. The people who can't walk more than three steps before stumbling/tripping will not get any new weapons and will have to keep the traditional toad splatting clubs.
>>
No. 468103 ID: 5d98c3
File 135186796602.png - (61.13KB , 752x586 , Wuh oh.png )
468103

As you arrive on the station, trailing your mob of soccer-hooligan like rookies, you are struck by how eerily silent the place is. The humming of the reactor and quiet whirring of the ventilation systems are the only noises you can hear over the bawdy shouts of your club wielding mob. As you drift toward the hangar door, you hear a soft moan, then a scraping sound from one of the service hatches. Before you can react, a green figure in a SCOM Engineer's uniform claws itself out and lets out a ghastly moan of,"Shurrr, ey pated ma grain!" before unsteadily dragging itself towards you.
Orders?
Sorry for the lack of updates. Calculus is hard.
>>
No. 468106 ID: f2c20c

>>468103
Did he say they painted him green?

Order him to stand up straight and speak clearly when addressing a superior officer.
>>
No. 468116 ID: 886a4d

Restrain him. Strap him to the front of the tank. If he hatches another Hugh Mann. Smash him agianst the closest wall.
>>
No. 468810 ID: 5d98c3
File 135213093194.png - (59.53KB , 752x586 , A sad face.png )
468810

>>468106
The bedraggled engineer tries to stand up straight in microgravity and ends up on the ceiling. "Ah Shinists juped meh, shur!" He moans.
>>468116
A) The tank was left on Earth, and B) It's MICROGRAVITY, a tank is hardly going to be effective as anything other than an oversized tennis ball.

I detest Calculus
>>
No. 469740 ID: 3fcc04

Uh oh, I think he's already gone. I think we're fucked if we needed that guy because it's time to TERMINATE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE.
>>
No. 469879 ID: b6edd6

Do we have somewhere to lock the guy? Because he has clearly been slacking off on his job.
>>
No. 471417 ID: 5d98c3
File 135282983735.png - (80.55KB , 749x535 , You take one vacation and everything goes to hell.png )
471417

Sorry about that. College stuff.
ANYWHO, after being whacked a few times by drunken SCOM troopers, the engineer sobers up enough to begin spouting exposition in between thwackings. Apparently while you were on the way to Earth, Lucky came back in a stolen alien infiltrator ship holding a mysterious purple ball and making up crazy excuses for miserably failing his mission and causing the collapse of Hooper Sherlock's media empire, causing all news services to become far more honest and investigate all claims more heavily.

The scientists (who at this point had discovered the alien Space Cocaine had no physical side effects), directed by Ryan, put their newfound hyperproductivity to use, developing several new technologies through the power of their drug fueled psychosis.

New technologies discovered include MIND PROBE ANALYSIS, BASIC PSIONICS, APPLIED PSIONICS, ADVANCED PSIONICS, OBJECTIVISM, NULL ETHICS I-V, MONOPOLY, NOISE WEAPONS RESERACH, NOISE PISTOLS, NOISE RIFLES, NOISE BLASTERS, and SPACE COCAINE ADDICTION.

At that point Ryan and Laine got into arguments over who was in charge. As the Chief Researcher tragically fell out an airlock, Ryan took control. However, the Engineers, displeased with Ryan's anti-union ways, banded together under Laine in order to protect their rights. The Scientists, a this point higher than any sane human has a right to be, began attempting to artificially grant themselves psionic abilities to crush the more heavily armed Engineers.

Predictably, things went poorly, the scientists wiped out nine-tenths of the engineering staff before going off the deep end and slaughtering each other to the last man, and destroying much of their advanced psi-research. Ryan's status is unknown, and Laine is believed to have fled to the surface during the psi-attacks.

SCOM PERSONNEL LOSS: 897 KIA, 67 WOUNDED, 120 MIA.
CHIEF ENGINEER LAINE: MISSING.
RESEARCH DIRECTOR RYAN: MISSING.
FLIGHT CONTROLLER ADAMS: MISSING.
GUNNERY COMMANDER WILHELM: COMPLETELY FINE.
CHIEF MEDICAL OFFICER MCCOY: WOUNDED.
INTERROGATION OFFICER MANN: UNKNOWN.
CHIEF INFILTRATOR SPACE BUG: UNKNOWN.
TOTAL DAMAGE TO STATION IN MILLIFENIGS: M982,215,235,786,532,124.00


Well. Shit.

Ah well. What were we supposed to do here again?
>>
No. 471425 ID: d4ad1a

lol oh god. What a clusterfuck. At this point, hop in a space suit, go to the airlock, and just take shots out into space with your rifle. Hopefully, you'll hit some aliens.
>>
No. 471429 ID: b6edd6

That was quite a bit of devastation. The obvious response is to weaponize this effect by gathering the remaining alien cocaine to craft an ALIEN COCAINE TORPEDO.

Also we should finish searching the station.
>>
No. 471430 ID: 5d98c3
File 135284207171.png - (40.72KB , 749x535 , Research II.png )
471430

>>471429
They snorted it all. Every last ounce. Estimates by the surviving medical officer place the body composition of the Scientists at .5% pure Space Cocaine.

>>471425
Unfortunately, the armory appears to have had the doors welded shut. Peeping through the window shows a whole lotta red.

Examining the consoles in research, you find a listing of possible projects. You won't be able to DO anything until you get some non-dead crew, but it's there.

You can search for Ryan, search for survivors, or search for the source of the psychic scream that brought you here. Or do you want to go somewhere else?
>>
No. 471436 ID: f6cff9

Let's search for the source of the psychic scream. It brought us here to begin with so we might as well check it out.
>>
No. 471437 ID: 70c0f2

Search the entire godsdamned base. Wanna make sure there are no more surprises waiting for us.
>>
No. 471484 ID: 5d98c3
File 135285266340.png - (17.79KB , 749x535 , Rockin.png )
471484

>>471437
After searching through the entire goddamned base, aside from some sweet guns, enormous clumps of bodies, and more aerosolized blood, you don't find anything.

You eventually make your way to the source of the cry. The bed chamber of one Hugh Mann...
>>
No. 471510 ID: b6edd6

Hugh Man must be seducing one of our agents to extract information for the council! We should go in and catch him red handed.
>>
No. 471512 ID: f6cff9

Let's break up this lovefest.
>>
No. 471535 ID: 5d98c3
File 135285967061.png - (63.74KB , 749x535 , Revelation.png )
471535

>>471512
>>471484
You're sick and tired of this shit. Your men are dead, the base is in ruins, and you had to leave behind a really great party. Whoever called you up here is gonna get reamed.

You shove open the door, imprecations and accusations on your lips, your men immediately behind you ready to deal a beating. They die there, both your men, and whatever thoughts you had at that point.
...
Mann: ♥
Space Bug: ?!?!?!

...As your troops lapse into babbling insanity behind you, screaming wordlessly for mercy and clawing their eyes from their skulls, you mercifully lose consciousness, tragically not before the image of Hugh and the chief interrogator locked in a concupiscent embrace is burned into your long memory.

THE COMMANDER HAS LOST CONSCIOUSNESS
ROOKIE JENKINS HAS DIED OF A FATAL WOUND
ROOKIE JONES HAS DIED OF A FATAL WOUND
ROOKIE THOMPSON HAS DIED OF A FATAL WOUND
ROOKIE D'SQUARIUS HAS DIED OF A FATAL WOUND
ROOKIE CRIN HAS DIED OF A FATAL WOUND
ROOKIE PAUL HAS DIED OF A FATAL WOUND
ROOKIE EZEKIEL HAS DIED OF A FATAL WOUND
...
>>
No. 471538 ID: 70c0f2

>my first thought
We can weaponize this, right? It's proven deadly already, there has to be a way our next R&D team can make a weapon out of it.
>>
No. 471542 ID: 5d98c3
File 135286075866.png - (11.63KB , 749x535 , Later___.png )
471542

>>471538
Probably, but all your Scientists are dead, and Hugh Mann has the only video tape. He'll probably lend it to you if you ask.
...
TEN DAYS LATER
>>
No. 471543 ID: 5d98c3
File 135286078466.png - (43.37KB , 749x535 , Command Ship Zeta.png )
471543

ON BOARD THE INVADER COMMAND SHIP...
>>
No. 471547 ID: 5d98c3
File 135286120126.png - (19.65KB , 749x535 , It sucks to be the king.png )
471547

>"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED."
Welp. That's four minutes. This job suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks...
>>
No. 471566 ID: b6edd6

Perhaps some SPACE COCAINE could help you pass the time.
>>
No. 471577 ID: 5d98c3
File 135286577495.png - (26.14KB , 749x535 , Gee, it sure is boring around here.png )
471577

>>471566
You'd love too, but those damn aborigines shot down the combat transport that was carrying most of your stash and political prisoner H-M8675309. Shame too, it was the good shit.

Honestly, ever since you've gotten here, you haven't really gotten to do anything. The Great One has spent several MONTHS practicing his stupid bloody speeches, rambling on about how he is glorious and divine and blahdy blahdy blah. You didn't really mind at first, local television keeping you entertained. Then some jackass revealed on live television that some media magnate enjoyed screwing the local wildlife, and now it's nothing but political analysis and historical dramas.

The Great One jut got off the line with yet another retarded speech about how his magnificence cannot be dampened etcetera. The gist of it was he wants us to go and spend more time fucking around with those 'ZKUM' people. As if we needed to. For the last ten days, your infiltrators (the SURVIVING ones) have reported that essentially 100% of their personnel self-terminated in some insane dominance ritual involving copious amounts of drugs and unstable psionic powers. To top it off, the local governments appear to be insane, ordering suicidal infantry charges against MURDERWALKER class units in the middle of uninhabited strategically worthless forests, the deployment of nuclear weapons in freshwater-supplying regions, and the usage of tank divisions in crowd control and terror suppression exercises. You could hardly do more damage by simply carpet bombing them. It's gotten to the point where local infiltrators are doing everything they can to HELP the local governments out of pity.

Ah well. Might as well actually do some damn work. Let's see...

We could blow up that idiotic starbase of theirs. Seriously, it's right there. How could anyone possibly FAIL to notice it?

We could go snag some local 'research samples' (like more drugs), see if the boys in Xenobiology can find anything cool.

We could send some more infiltrators to go do something cool.

We could just fly down to their capital in a battleship and demand their surrender.

Ooooooor, I could sit here and hope that the Great One rethinks his whole 'Reproduce via Cloning' plan and goes with genetics 'Seriously, give us some damn genitals' plan so I can finally get laid again.

Anything's fine, really.
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No. 471578 ID: b6edd6

The star base is clearly ineffectual and might do something amusing so we should leave it for now.

How about having some infiltrators replace some (or all!) of their government leaders? With the way they are acting none of the natives will even notice a difference.
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No. 471702 ID: 90a93c

Infiltrate that base yourself, it will probably be a good way to kill time. Maybe you could trick them into getting you some genitalia.
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No. 471708 ID: 5d98c3
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471708

>>471702
Infiltration it is! Though we can't infiltrate the so-called council. The last message from the previous agents we sent was nothing but a series of long drawn out screams and fleshy chewing sounds. Let incompetent dogs lie and all that.

>>471578
While that would be fun, we know nothing about that base's defenses. As 95% of our agents perished in the riots, and all of the individuals who had access to any of their weapons systems or schematics, we'd probably need to send a probing attack. In short, like hell are you flying in there blind. Even with your kickass psychic powers, someone might get lucky, and then what would you do?
Anyway, how should we go about infiltrating the base?
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No. 471712 ID: b6edd6

>Though we can't infiltrate the so-called council.
But the hardest-to-reach places always contain the best stuff! That base should be a fine target for now though.

Do we have agents there disguised as janitors? I hear that nobody pays attention to those.
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