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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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File 134333852225.png - (15.06KB , 865x850 , devil1.png )
436555 No. 436555 ID: 99090a

Georgia has to be my least favorite state. It's hot, but that reminds me of home if nothing else. No, the worst parts are the humidity and the violent inbred morons everywhere. Trust me when I say there's a special place in Hell for their type.

Anyway; I went down to Georgia for a reason. I'm lookin' for a soul to steal. You see, I've found myself in a bind, because I'm way behind, so I'm lookin' to make a deal.

Now what should I do? I need to find some poor sucker with a soul to get stolen.
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No. 436560 ID: 8c9b35

damn, avoid playng fiddle
No. 436565 ID: f5832c

Make damn sure you didnt bring that fucking fiddle with you, that thing is more trouble than its worth.
No. 436567 ID: f793db

Find a homeless person. They would no doubt sell their soul for a house.
No. 436568 ID: e3f578

Strip Cluuuuub
No. 436572 ID: 0b766f

What kind of soul stealing are you into here?

Honest to god Faustian soul selling, all the riches, powers and pleasures of the earth in return for an eternity of damnation? Devil's catch soul selling, where you offer them a good deal, but then fuck them over somehow before they get to really enjoy it fully? Or is this just the spiritual equivalent of a smash and grab?
No. 436574 ID: b36412

Did you bring your golden fiddle?
Go find a homeless man and ask him to do a challenge with the prize being gold and the wager being his soul. Don't tell him it's a gold fiddle or a fiddling challenge until he agrees.
No. 436581 ID: bd5edb

Look for a politician. Or someone who uses tgchan.
No. 436586 ID: 99090a
File 134334041245.png - (22.51KB , 865x850 , devil2.png )

I can't say I haven't dabbled in all three of those categories before. So I don't quite know yet.

What, this shiny fiddle made of gold? I take it wherever I go, and why wouldn't I?

I am an avid fiddle player. Sometimes I just can't help myself. Sorry, no guarantees.

A man of my caliber hardly belongs in one of those cesspools.

Ah yes, the homeless and the destitute. Their souls ain't worth much but I suppose every bit counts. Why look, there's one of them now. They're not all that hard to find in Georgia, after all.
No. 436588 ID: f793db

offer him a house in exchange for a soul.
No. 436592 ID: 8c9b35

No. 436662 ID: 32f0e3

nah, the homeless are crazy and don't actually like houses. They pretty much just like booze.
No. 436663 ID: 4a328b

Offer him a sammich for his soul
No. 436932 ID: 6a1ec2

I bet that homeless guy is better at the fiddle than you are.
No. 436943 ID: 5c0329


this, but don't make the sammich too fancy. maybe some butter and cheese will be enough.
No. 436964 ID: e0fde8

Do people in Georgia even have souls?
No. 436993 ID: 99090a
File 134343891421.png - (11.68KB , 650x650 , devil3.png )

I highly doubt that.

Most of them.

"Hello there."
"You look like a hungry fella."
"How about this excellent turkey sandwich? I'll just need your immortal soul in return."
No. 436994 ID: 99090a
File 134343892741.png - (11.43KB , 650x650 , devil4.png )

No. 436995 ID: 99090a
File 134343893816.png - (8.27KB , 650x650 , devil5.png )

No. 436997 ID: bf54a8

you need to get a better grip.
No. 436998 ID: 735f4f

Might want to dial back our ambitions for a soul a bit. If we can not take on a hobo with a booze bottle. Do chickens have souls? Maybe a squirrel?
No. 437000 ID: 842d23

...that totally counts as him taking the deal, right? He accepted the goods after your offer. That's implied consent. The bottle head knocking was just a cultural thing.

I mean, c'mon, you're the devil. You've gotta have the rules written so that counts.
No. 437002 ID: bf54a8

point, you gave him an off and he took the sandwich.
No. 437003 ID: b85f8c

Don't you have like, dark majjiks or something? Chase down that fucker and make him pay for trying to rob the devil himself.
No. 437004 ID: bd5edb

This certainly would work in an American court. Call your advocate.
No. 437007 ID: 4a328b

I agree, he's signed a contract now!
No. 437036 ID: 14a1d0

Generally soul collection happens after death, so even if it does count, the hobo has to die before we can claim anything. Make a note that this guy owes you one (1) human soul and move on.
No. 437040 ID: 842d23

If has to die first, the only question is whether you wait to take you fee in due time, or if you're going the cursed deal route. You know, use your cruel irony powers to have him choke to death on the sandwich he sold his soul for before he can even enjoy it.
No. 437046 ID: b2112e

"By grabbing this sammich, you indicate your acceptance of this agreement."
No. 437055 ID: 6a1ec2


Unfortunately you already exceeded your cruel irony quotient when the devil got mugged by a hobo. No sense going over budget.
No. 437088 ID: d10f72

Well just don't gawk there! Tackle the fucker!
No. 437099 ID: 58396a


Open a sandwich kitchen.

Sell chicken sandwiches on Sunday.

Attract all the hobos.

The price? Their soul.
No. 437348 ID: 58e163

Hobo's clearly too hard for us.

We should find an investment banker.
No. 437383 ID: e3f578

You have the dudes soul now, whether he likes it or not. God wouldn't let that fly, that's technically stealing anyway if he doesn't "give" his soul away... wait I'm sure you already had that guys soul anyway now. So you have net zero souls and new -1 sandwhiches. Is that how this business works?
lets go get more
No. 437393 ID: 14a1d0

That's right. Have you even read the bible? According to that thing, you're gonna get well over 99% of humanity anyway. Why bother working for it?
No. 437467 ID: e3f578

Preemptive tl;dr "Jesus voids sins for wanting forgiveness once, so contracts are neccesary, but this guy doesn't even seem the type to do that, so we're actually have a good chance of getting his soul no matter what we do."
too long; just deleted, now to move on to something much much shorter
tl;dr for preemptive tl;dr "Jesus loves everybody except for contracted souls."
No. 437501 ID: 6a1ec2

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