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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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418535 No. 418535 ID: 7acb8e

The Land of Spirits and Lore, named Ition, is a demiplane of limbo housing millions of souls who were judged to be unremarkable. Here they continue much as they did in life, working day after day until an agent comes and ushers them to the next level of existence.

The Rusty Codpiece is one of the Hundreds of bars where residents can drink their eternity away. Content to be boring in death, escaping the notice of the agents.
Expand all images
No. 418538 ID: 7acb8e
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However, unlife is just as fickle as life, and fate can still touch those who merely want to sit on the sidelines.
No. 418540 ID: 7acb8e
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???: AAAAAAAH! My friggin eye!
No. 418541 ID: fa9f7e

So, is that blue thing us?

Hi, by the way. Try to kill everyone you meet, if you can.
No. 418542 ID: d1e9bf

No. 418544 ID: 132b99

fate has chosen you!
No. 418548 ID: f2cd76

Manny? Manny Calavera, is that you? oh man, I missed you so much.

in fact fuck quests imma go play Grim Fandango again
No. 418586 ID: 6e44d2

Damn it, man, don't make me reinstall that game.

No. 418605 ID: 7acb8e
File 133878014369.jpg - (69.76KB , 646x553 , pull.jpg )

> The skeleton has a brief moment of anguished panic before he responds. No one in the bar is paying any attention, he takes a drink of cheap rum.

???: "Well great. I've got voices in my head and some sort of glass ball in my left eye. Murder isn't on my list of things to do so...."

> He Tries pulling out the orb, but doesn't have enough strength and grip.

???: "If you are in the damn orb then you bastards are stuck in there. There's no such thing as fate and the names not Manny. I'm not sure I'm going to give my name to some strange cursed flying baseball.

> The bartender partially materializes and yells out “Last Call. You deadbeats get the hell out of here.”

???: “Fucking puns. Guess that means my break is up, time to get back to work... It's been a while since I've talked to anyone so I guess if you have questions I can answer them or whatever.

> The skeleton stands up and gets ready to leave the bar.
No. 418621 ID: 132b99

so.. what do you do around here? and why?
No. 418681 ID: f2cd76

in that case, your name is Manny as far as I'm concerned.

who the hell threw us into you anyway?
No. 418750 ID: 7acb8e
File 133883751679.jpg - (58.10KB , 701x735 , bigsteppin.jpg )

>??? Has been designated Manny. Manny leaves the bar and walks out into the silent city.

Disadvantages: Manny has unremarkable physical, mental, and social abilities. He has also has no sense of smell or touch. He is unskilled and has a low aptitude.

Advantages: None.

Manny: “Eh, I'm a night guard for Bean Inc. Heh, it's a great job because no one bugs me and there's no fuckin' cameras. Lets me stretch my legs and drink on the job.
Don't know who lobbed this thing into my face. But, it's not like I could ask anyone anyway. Thanks to that bitch, Queen Mu.
Anything else?”
No. 418754 ID: f2cd76

who's Mu?
No. 419081 ID: a47043

We are many, or maybe not. Apparently, our reality is the most boring of all multiverse. We're here because that's what we do. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Who's this Mu bitch and why she isn't your bitch? And what's wrong with you, anyway? You're all functional with your fancy limbs and whatever, but you don't do anything with them. What happened before you got here?
No. 419422 ID: 7acb8e
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Manny mentally growls and his footsteps fall a little harder as he marches to his destination.

QUEEN Mu is one of the seven maidens who quote defend our realm end fucking quote. I guess she's not my bitch because F- er Manny knows how to treat a gal. That and she ripped off my bottom jaw like it was nothing.
No. 419424 ID: 7acb8e
File 133903798020.jpg - (60.66KB , 800x800 , Bean.jpg )

What do you mean I don't do anything with my functional limbs? I drink and I walk around an empty building all night.

Speaking of which., there's Bean Inc and it's weird Trapezoid windows.
No. 419425 ID: 7acb8e
File 133903807691.jpg - (91.82KB , 1045x841 , ALERT.jpg )

>Manny walks into the back and dons his security hat.

Well... see the thing about the dead, we don't remember shit about our lives unless we're reminded how we died. It's very traumatic, or so I've been told.

>As the guard patrols the building Manny hears something large and heavy hit a wall behind him. A door slowly creaks open.

Shit, SHIT! What the hell was that? What should I do?!
No. 419427 ID: 886a4d

Whats the procedure for a potential break-in?
No. 419430 ID: 132b99

dive into a side room
No. 419437 ID: f387a1

How much do they pay you?
No. 419507 ID: f2cd76

grab nearest blunt object.
No. 419942 ID: 7acb8e
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Manny: The procedure is to make visual contact for threat confirmation, then I'm supposed to race to a secure zone and pull an alarm.
>>Manny Dives into a side room and crawls under a desk!
Manny: Which would be great if I could remember where the fuck those are!
And we don't earn money around here champ, my job and station in the afterlife allows me free access to rank X comfort items and services.
Sure as shit isn't a high enough rank to deal with any potential thieves. Who in the hells robs Accountants anyway?!
Man... if they just would have given me a night stick....

>>Several Moments Pass.
Manny: Do... Do you think it's gone?
No. 419944 ID: f387a1

Scream as loud as possible, flip the desk, run.
No. 419945 ID: 132b99

i see four sets of eyes. a white pair and green yellow and red pairs. they are still here. so if you want to.. live? wait why are you scared anyway, what could they do to you? make a mess of your bones?
No. 419993 ID: 252e1b

Make a diversion, throw an object opposite of the door. When the intruder investigates the noise, run for the hallway and find an alarm.
No. 420056 ID: e894c0

why so scared? afraid he's gonna kill you?
No. 420513 ID: 7acb8e
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Our bodies are sorta held together by an extension of our will, in a way. When I'm not scared out of my damned mind I will tell you all about the second death, providing this works.
>>Manny tosses his cap away from the door and it lands with a soft whoomph. The skeleton hears nothing and a few moments pass.
>> Suddenly the lights flicker on!
>>Manny stands up and tries to flip the desk yelling silently at the top of his non existent lungs! But he lacks the strength to flip the desk, panicking he poses in the Worst Kung Fu pose in the afterlife!
Manny: “…”
Mysterious Strangers Do not Seemed Threatened.

Snake to the far right: “Is that supposed to be our missing security guard?”
Snake in the Middle (who speaks with an odd echo): “I don't feel very secure.”
Snake on the Left: “Blech, smells like cheap Bourbon.”
Unknown Medusa: “Hmph”
No. 420516 ID: 132b99

just stare at them until they explain
No. 420524 ID: f387a1

Now you probably wish that it were robbers. Good luck with your boss.

Wait, you can blame us. Yeah! It's not every day that you get a blue talking orb stuck in your eye socket. You have a headache. It's the fault of some nutjob who threw a bottle of cheap Bourbon and this damned billiard ball at you.

Make some puppy eyes and she'll totally buy your story.
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