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A hero's dream Hero 2012/05/25(Fri)19:51 No. 416034 ID: bea00f

>„So… what exactly was step two of your plan? “

”Why would it need more than one step? “

>”Maybe because of the gigantic flesh eating rat people. ”

“That’s a problem, I admit, but we won’t solve it by overcomplicating my plans. One step plans worked out fine for me…”

>” …”

“… until a few weeks ago I mean.”

>”I noticed. ”

“… until my evil brother betrayed me, Hero, the rightful heir to the throne, imprisoning me in this hellish cave prison…”

>“… Yes, I kno… “

“Wait I’m not done… this hellish cave prison where I had to slay creatures from hell, battle death itself and keep my rugged good looks despite the missing hygiene products. All this just with the help of my best friend who has been captured by rat people a few minutes ago and I am going to rescue right now.”

>“I know… I’ve heard your story five or six times now. I was there for most of it. Maybe you should focus on that last part instead of telling me things I already know.”

“I’m not addressing you.”

>“You’re telling it the rats?”

“No… I’m just telling it in case any poets are around.”

>“…”

“You know… poets… hang around in caves a lot… to brood… or were that philosophers? Anyway, I’ll have to give this background Information or they’ll have no clue what’s going on and then they can’t retell my adventures. Like the adventure some days ago, when I, Hero,
The worlds greatest fighter, lover and heir to the throne, rescued you, the princess of Spain, from her distress, whereupon you instantly fell in love with me.”

>“That’ not really how I remember it…”

“Well, I can’t be expected to get all the details right at the moment; I have to focus on our current problem. I’ll make a plan to get us out of here in no time. Just relax, lean back and watch me singlehandedly outplanning those monsters.”

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>>	132b99.jpg Dark Spice Island 132b99 Suggestion 2012/05/25(Fri)19:53 No. 416035 ID: 132b99 none on the rocks, climb them!

>>	d5ee6f.jpg Lilac Chocolate Dreamer d5ee6f Suggestion 2012/05/25(Fri)19:53 No. 416036 ID: d5ee6f Have her flash them. Kill them while they're distracted. Rats are known for two things- hunger and humping.

>>	a407a5.jpg Calling Dust a407a5 Hated 2012/05/25(Fri)19:57 No. 416039 ID: a407a5 Stab, kill, maim, burn them all? Actually, fire might be a good idea after all. Beasties don't like fire, right?

>>	131de9.jpg Dark Honey Breeze 131de9 Googleshng 2012/05/25(Fri)19:58 No. 416041 ID: 131de9 Get yourselves between two of these rocks. They're nice natural choke points that will keep each of you only dealing with one rat at a time, rather than getting completely surrounded.

Hero 2012/05/26(Sat)17:04 No. 416197 ID: bea00f
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>”We probably should get somewhere between those rocks. If we reach a narrow passage, we at least won’t have to fight them all at once. Maybe we’ll be able to climb to safety.”

“No! Wait! I have a better idea. Let’s try the diplomatic approach. You strip naked and try to seduce them, and while they’re distracted, I’ll start a fire, scaring those simple beasts away.”

>“… I’ll just start heading towards the rocks, okay?”

“… yes, that might have been a stupid plan. You’re probably not able to seduce all those rat monsters. I’ll have to do that. You start the fire. …or maybe we should head for the rocks… Wait, I’m coming…”

Hero 2012/05/26(Sat)17:06 No. 416199 ID: bea00f
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“Hrrgl…”

“…“

„Oh, hello nice rat… person…”

“…“

“We don’t have to kill one another you know. There are other options. Like… love, you know…”

“…“

“We could just, you know, talk a bit, get to know each other and maybe form a deep friendship. That would be nicer then violent murder, don’t you think?”
“…“
“So… what’s a nice rat like you doing in this part of the cave labyrinth…?”

“…“

“Say… your father must have been a violent murder beast, cause he ripped out an angel’s eyes and gave them to you…”

“…“

“I, uhm… ahh… that fur looks great on you… but it would look even better on my bedroom floor…”

“…“

“Uhm… Princess! Are you still there? I might need a little help over here. Maybe just a few tips if you’re busy. Like how you would seduce a giant rat monster. I don’t think my lines really work here. … Hello? Princess? Someone…?”

>>	132b99.jpg Dark Spice Island 132b99 Suggestion 2012/05/26(Sat)17:10 No. 416200 ID: 132b99 flip forward and back kick the rat behind you then stab the one in front.

Suggestion 2012/05/26(Sat)18:54 No. 416211 ID: 656118

Are you sure you want to seduce them? I doubt you want to get into this kind of adventures...
Well, it holds you rather than just trying to kill you, so it is either rather intelligent (they make or at least use spears and necklaces) and want something from you... or one of these monsters that wastes vast amounts of time just snarling at its victims before trying to do anything else...
Well, in first case you should continue talking, maybe they get bored and explain themself... otherwise you should kind of fight for your life...

By the way: Any idea what they want? Did you do anything before killing them that made them angry? or do they just want to have some fresh meat...

>>	d5ee6f.jpg Lilac Chocolate Dreamer d5ee6f Suggestion 2012/05/26(Sat)19:41 No. 416233 ID: d5ee6f >>416199 Hit it with the sharp thing until red comes out

>>	131de9.jpg Dark Honey Breeze 131de9 Googleshng 2012/05/26(Sat)19:57 No. 416237 ID: 131de9 Princess? Try and make a break for it because your friend here is dead weight.

>>	f2cd76.jpg Apple Flutter f2cd76 Elephant Guy 2012/05/27(Sun)02:11 No. 416329 ID: f2cd76 slash behind, kick in front.

>>	0d7a83.jpg Purple Chanting Water 0d7a83 Winston 2012/05/27(Sun)03:29 No. 416339 ID: 0d7a83 Detach mustache and use as deadly boomerang.

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