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In memory of Flyin' Black Jackson
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File 125254169498.png - (84.69KB , 772x561 , whathowdidthisgethere.png )
40690 No. 40690 ID: 95484a

This is Blaze. Blaze is a teenage mutant ninja criminal.* At the moment, Blaze is concentrating very hard on a task of truly epic proportions.

*Well, he wishes he was a ninja. The rest is true though.
Expand all images
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No. 40692 ID: 95484a
File 125254179431.png - (88.58KB , 772x561 , iamnotgoodwithcomputers.png )
40692

"HA! 27 levels down, 3 to go. Suck it, hard mode."

Specifically, Blaze is trying to complete the Marathon Man achievement in his favorite video game, Shotgun Zombie IV, which is done by playing the entire game on its hardest difficulty without saving. He doesn't have much else to do, until his boss has another job for him.

He'd be watching TV, but a few days ago, some jerk calling himself Rastin replaced everything on TV with Full House reruns. Yuck.

He'd be on the internet, but a little after that, the same guy somehow replaced pretty much the entire internet with captioned dogs. What a waste.

So all Blaze has left is his precious videogames. However, he can play on confident in the knowledge that there's no possible way this Rastin character can mess with his offline videogames.
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No. 40694 ID: 95484a
File 125254187857.gif - (250.86KB , 772x561 , herewego.gif )
40694

Wait, what's that rumbling sound?

*CRASH*


...

[animated]
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No. 40695 ID: 95484a
File 125254191494.png - (83.70KB , 649x509 , HULK SMASH.png )
40695

GODDAMN IT! A blackout! There's always SOMETHING! Well no more! The line is drawn here! Someone is going to PAY for this!
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No. 40696 ID: 95484a
File 12525419452.png - (133.46KB , 772x561 , whoopsnowwhat.png )
40696

Whoops. Someone's going to have to pay for that controller, too. But never mind! Now Blaze is going to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

...But where to start?
>>
No. 40699 ID: f4963f

>>40696
Alright Blaze. You know the drill.

SHOW US YOUR STATS BITCH.
>>
No. 40700 ID: 902e24

Go and get your weapons!
>>
No. 40701 ID: 5821fc

>>40696
STAT ME!

Er... how old're you, what skills do you have (do you know how to shoot, perform first aid, tie knots, climb a barbed wire fence, make a pipe bomb), what useful items do you have in your house (a gun, first aid kit, pvc, nails, rat poison, gunpowder, bottles, gasoline, rags, etc.), how attached are you to having a future where you aren't dead or in jail... you know, the usual stuff.
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No. 40706 ID: 95484a
File 125254297487.jpg - (46.33KB , 645x638 , BQCC.jpg )
40706

>>40699

Although Blaze is not a ninja, he'd like to think he has the reflexes of one with his quick and deft movements. Unfortunately, this gives him a tendency to leap before he looks, which can get him in trouble.

This is somewhat mitigated by his "mutant ability," which is that he is made of metal, and therefore resistant to injury.

>>40700
Blaze is always armed. ALWAYS. Pictured is just one of his guns, a specially-ordered Smith and Wesson .44 Magnum. He's named it Vera.

He's also pretty good with explosives and computers, but he likes collecting guns more.
>>
No. 40710 ID: f4963f

>>40706
I say? Investigate the cause of the blackout.

I'm pretty sure rumbling houses aren't part of normal power grid flickers.
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No. 40726 ID: 95484a
File 125254545360.png - (125.25KB , 772x561 , itsdeadjim.png )
40726

>>40701
Blaze is 19, but he's turning 20 soon. He's a fully-grown adult, yep. He knows how to shoot, make explosives, build and hack computers, and juggle. The last one hasn't come up in a while, though, so he may be rusty.

Blaze is very attached to living not in jail. He's not real worried about cops, though. He's too smart for them. The MIB can be a pain, but he's managed to avoid them.

There's not much of use in the house. It's not even his, some people just abandoned it about when the zombies started coming around. Losers. Just enough food for a few more days, some really basic tools, furniture, Blaze's weapons stash, Blaze's coworkers... that's about it.

Oh, and that weird box his boss left behind.

>>40710
Blaze would love to investigate the blackout! To the TV. No, wait, the power's out. To the internet! NO, WAIT, THE POWER'S OUT. To the power plant! Better print out some directioNO WAIT THE GODDAMN POWER IS OUT.
>>
No. 40727 ID: f5cf76

>>40726
You're going to have to go back to the dark ages. This means maps and/or atlases. Is the car still in the garage? Do you know where the local library is?

Also, introduce us to your coworkers (assuming they have plot significance). They might have useful skills to aid you. Unless you're just going to leave them shortly, in which case screw them.
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No. 40761 ID: 95484a
File 12525488545.png - (109.28KB , 481x558 , fellowmutanthereiam.png )
40761

>>40727
No car. The boss took it after the last big job. Took almost everything else useful, too, and left instructions to be good, stay put, don't call, and don't open the box.

Okay, coworkers. Both of them are weird mutants too, that's why they're working together. First, there's Grim. He's creepy and boring, but good with a sword, and pretty imposing under the right circumstances. To other people.

He's also good at sneaking around, mostly because of constantly being surrounded by some kind of dark hazy somethingorother. Harder to see that way, at least at night.
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No. 40764 ID: 95484a
File 125254888788.png - (116.82KB , 511x559 , ihatedrawingfurries.png )
40764

Then there's Jaws. Jaws is some kind of werewolf thing. But not the normal full moon silver bullet bite you and turn you into another one werewolf, he's special. Not retarded-special, just always big and furry and doesn't actually try to bite people.

Well, maybe that kind of special too. He never talks or anything, but at least he's toilet trained and wears pants. Follows directions, too, and he's like some kind of tank when he does. Took a shotgun blast to the chest once and hardly even flinched.
>>
No. 40774 ID: ab91ae

Take GOTH and WEREWOLF with you. Proceed to the outside zone. We have some walkin' to do.
>>
No. 40778 ID: cd08c0

YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY BEFORE VENTURING FORTH.
Sounds like neither one of them like to talk. You'll just have to be the only one with a personality.
>>
No. 40909 ID: 95484a
File 125256078641.png - (124.66KB , 772x561 , stillcantdrawfurries.png )
40909

>>40774
>>40778
They might as well come along. They make good meatshields, if nothing else.

And yes, Blaze is well aware that he's the only one with any personality. It's a heavy burden to bear, but he manages.

"Hey, furball, gothboy. We're going out! See if we can do something about this bl-"

"Blackout. Yes, I assumed as much. I also assumed that you would take your usual measures, countermanding Psych's orders, in order to assure the continued operation of your precious electronics. Jaws and I are packing the usual supplies."

"Uh. Right. Well, you'd better-"

"I further assumed that, as you ARE countermanding Psych's orders to remain stationary, you would at the very least take some effort to ensure the security of the item which was placed under our care."

"What, the-?"

"The item which was, reportedly, the most important find of our last mission. The item which we are, at a later date, to be paid handsomely for if it is intact, and hunted down and gutted if it is not. The item which we are not, it appears, privy to information regarding. The item which our employer placed specifically under your care, disregarding the fact that you have an attention span approximately the length and volume of a gunshot. That item."

"..Yeah, I KNOW. I'm just telling you two to be ready."

Blaze really hates that creepy goth kid.
>>
No. 40912 ID: 95484a
File 125256084320.png - (130.59KB , 772x561 , whyisjawseveninthisquest.png )
40912

Blaze returns to the other room, and retrieves the box for Jaws's duffel bag. While he's there, he tries once again to determine if he's recently developed a latent power to make things explode with his mind.

He has not.
>>
No. 40913 ID: 95484a
File 125256086883.png - (137.27KB , 719x510 , manijustdontknow.png )
40913

Blaze heads outside, ready to take on the world, find the problem with the electrical grid, and...

...oh.

Blaze has a new theory about why the power has gone out.
>>
No. 40932 ID: 9e9b47

>>40913

Was there a thunderstorm? That can put the power out I hear.
>>
No. 40959 ID: efa41b

>>40932
Dammit, that's not even funny. Why the hell am I still lol'ing?
>>
No. 41027 ID: ab91ae

>>40913
Proceed to LIBRARY ZONE.
>>
No. 47501 ID: 95484a
File 125340199833.png - (62.74KB , 681x561 , heyrememberthisgame.png )
47501

>>41027
>To the LIBRARY ZONE

Blaze finds this acceptable.

"Alright, guys. We gotta take care of this. To the library."

"Blaze. There is what appears to be an enormous machine causing massive property damage. Why would you go to the library?"

"See, Grim, a library is like your mom. Completely open to the public."

"..."

"Has people going in and out at all hours."

"..."

"There's extra parking in the rear."

"..."

"There's a special slot for deposits at night."

"..."

"I could do this all day."

"...I don't know which to be more irritated at, the absurdity of your insults, or the fact that you are completely neglecting to answer my question."
>>
No. 47502 ID: 95484a
File 125340204780.png - (211.29KB , 819x636 , morefunwithtablet.png )
47502

As stupid as he is, Grim raises a point. Blaze tries to recall why he had decided to go the librar-

"Halt, citizens!"

Blaze now recalls that he usually travels at night, to avoid MIB patrols. Oops. Well, at least they're not reaching for their guns yet. Now what?
>>
No. 47505 ID: 4553b2

>>47502
We got guns, right? Quick draw, shoot em down, keep on walking. Answer the question about the giant robot as you do this.

"See, it is quite simple. We don't WANT to deal with the giant robot. Oh no. I just want my video games to work again. This means taking over the local power plant, and I need to know where that is."
>>
No. 47509 ID: f4963f

>>47502
We're a gun-slinging metal mutant backed up by a swordsman and a freakin WEREWOLF.

Take 'em down.
>>
No. 47528 ID: 95484a
File 125340635572.png - (222.26KB , 819x636 , nightmareonelmstreet.png )
47528

>>47505
>>47509
Oh right! Violence. Blaze draws his favorite gun.

"See, it's pretty simple. The robot seems like a lot of trouble, and I just want to get my video games running again and teach those idiots at the power plant a lesson about how important it is they don't mess up."

BANG

"So I gotta know where they are, or I'm just threating random people. That's just stupid. Library probably has maps or something."

The other agent seems to be too shocked to do anything like avenging his now-dead partner. Should Blaze be doing anything about that one too?
>>
No. 47534 ID: 4553b2

>>47528
Just pistol whip on the way past. No reason to make a big deal out of it.
>>
No. 47536 ID: f4963f

>>47528
Let goth boy do cleanup. Nameless McMookFace isn't worth the ammo.
>>
No. 47593 ID: 95484a
File 12534124147.png - (210.66KB , 819x636 , notsotougharewe.png )
47593

>>47534
Right! No big deal. This guy's such a pansy, too, getting freaked out over a little shooting. Although, now that the adrenaline's worn off, Blaze can sort of see his point. It is pretty gross. Large-caliber bullet and all. You can even see that guy's ribcage and.. maybe his pancreas or something?

Sure is a lot of blood, too.

...

In an unrelated matter, Blaze suddenly realizes that he's feeling somewhat ill. Probably food poisoning, he shouldn't have had that pizza that got left out a couple days ago for breakfast.

>>47536
"Hey, gothboy. Take care of this. I think I saw.. something... over behind that house there."

Grim complies, although the MIB has a difference of opinion on the matter.

"Hey, now, look, I didn't see nothing, let's not be hasty about this I just-"
"HUURK"
>>
No. 47596 ID: 4553b2

>>47593
...Proceed to library. Feel pang of guilt for cruelty to mooks.
>>
No. 47640 ID: 95484a
File 125341948687.png - (227.08KB , 820x640 , abouttimeright.png )
47640

>>47596
Done and done. Although Blaze is still pretty sure that pang's just the pizza. Why should he feel sorry for them, right? He's totally a hardened criminal, and the fact that that was his first kill is completely beside the point.

Finally, the library! Blaze feels like he's been on his way here for forever. But now he's here, and he takes a moment to gather his thoughts. People are already starting to look at them funny. Based on previous experience, they've got about ten or fifteen minutes until the MIB show up and start waving guns around.

Blaze definitely intends to pick up a map to the nearest power plant, but he wonders if there's anything else he should look for or do while he's here.
>>
No. 47644 ID: 4553b2

>>47640
Map to power plant, and have Grim look for books related to giant orange magical crystals.

Call it a hunch.
>>
No. 47646 ID: f4963f

>>47640
Directions to the nearest pizza place. Obviously the last pizza we got is bad.

And Jaws is probably hungry.
>>
No. 47669 ID: 95484a
File 125342258733.png - (47.81KB , 496x535 , thatdamncrystal.png )
47669

>>47646
That damn furball is always hungry. As a consequence, Blaze ignores him until he starts making pathetic noises, and has the location and number of every pizza place in a twenty mile radius memorized.

>>47644
A GIANT orange magical crystal? Blaze doesn't even want to think about that. The palm-sized one he has is enough trouble by itself. He's been made of metal ever since he touched the damn thing, and can't get rid of it for the life of him. And since he's made of metal, he can't function in normal society, was forced to steal to make a living, blah blah blah ruined his life blah blah really pissed.
His two friends here have similar stories, probably. He's never pressed them for details, because they're boring and/or don't talk.

The one upside to being made of metal, besides being bulletproof, is that his hair sticks up without any product whatsoever. So there's that.

"Hey, Grim. While we're here, see if you can find anything about these magical rock things. I'll check out the maps. And Jaws, you... try not to eat anything that's not food. Should be some jerky in the bag, munch on that."
>>
No. 47740 ID: 95484a
File 125342765760.png - (206.13KB , 820x640 , timepasses.png )
47740

Blaze hates maps. Once they're unfolded, it's impossible to put them back. He's pretty sure they're made this way on purpose, and adds mapmakers to his list of people he's pissed off at. Speaking of...

"Gothboy. Find anything interesting?"

"A few things. According to fliers found on the back wall, both Ignometics and Paraply are companies interested in magical artifacts of all kinds. Paraply, as you know, has power backed by the MIB, and Ignometics offers a financial reward and mentions orange crystals specifically in their offering."

"Yeah that's great. Did you find anything USEFUL?"

"Possibly. This book may be tangentially related to the crystals, although its lack of internal organization would make it difficult to be certain at first glance."

"Yeah? What's it called?"

"'The Manual.' Second edition. Not the most descriptive title, but I hope it to at least be apt."

"That's... really, really boring, Grim. Well, tell me if you find anything interes-"

"This is the MIB! Come out of the building with your hands up!"

Oh come on! That was barely more than five minutes!
>>
No. 47746 ID: 4553b2

>>47740
You heard the man. Head on out with your guns blazing.
>>
No. 47759 ID: f4963f

>>47746
Crazy wolfman takes point. We have MEATSHIELD, may as well use it.

Then yes, gratuitous amounts of violence. It solved the last problem, let's use it to solve this one too~
>>
No. 52094 ID: 95484a
File 12540205619.png - (132.29KB , 820x640 , RightsowherewasI.png )
52094

Blaze calls out to the MIB.
"Okay, we'll be right out! Just a second!"

>>47746
>>47759
Right, violence again.
Right, violence again.
"Guys, quick, grab everything, stuff it in the bag, we're leaving. Jaws, when I give the signal, you go out the door, and left. Grim, right after, you go right. I'll lay down cover fire across the middle. If we have to split up, meet back at the house. Everyone ready?"
>>
No. 52097 ID: 95484a
File 125402062716.png - (137.06KB , 820x640 , Ohrightthisgirl.png )
52097

"One three, okay? One..."

The MIB man is talking.
"Ma'am? Stand back, we're in the middle of... my God, what happened to my backup?"
>>
No. 52099 ID: 95484a
File 125402070998.png - (147.86KB , 820x640 , Shesprobablyreallynice.png )
52099

"What're youuhgghghggurbl-?"
"Uh, two..."
>>
No. 52101 ID: 95484a
File 12540207667.png - (142.27KB , 820x640 , Imeanonceyougettoknowher.png )
52101

"Gburbl."
THUD
thud, ka-thunk.

"..."
>>
No. 52102 ID: 95484a
File 125402081799.png - (154.86KB , 820x640 , Butwhoknows.png )
52102

"Hey, boys! Miss me?"

"...Three?"
>>
No. 52105 ID: 4553b2

>>52101
She seems dangerous.

Out the back door, avoid her.
>>
No. 52120 ID: 95484a
File 125402243166.png - (155.04KB , 820x640 , Notashurtasthatotherguy.png )
52120

>>52105
Sounds like a great plan. Couple small complications though. This is Blaze's boss, back from wherever she's been recently. Also, Blaze is not entirely certain that this place has a back door.

"Oh! Hey Psych. Thanks for the assist, we were just on our way out now, we're gonna go see if this place has a back door, so we can avoid the... bodies and such..."

"What, that's it? I've been gone all week, and no hug, no 'It's great to see you Psych,' no 'we sure missed you Psych'? And after all I've done for you. I'm hurt, Blaze. Really I am. I just don't know what I'm going to do with you three."

Great, she's acting sulky. Now what?
>>
No. 52122 ID: 43d730

>>52120
Compliment her.
>>
No. 52126 ID: 4553b2

Ask where she's been the past week or so anyway.
>>
No. 52128 ID: f4963f

>>52120
Breakdance for no reason!
>>
No. 52133 ID: 95484a
File 125402458073.png - (155.24KB , 820x640 , lolgirlslikecompliments.png )
52133

>>52122
"Uh.. sorry, you surprised me! I was just taken aback by your... stunning... knife skills?"

"Thank you! I've been practicing. A lot."

>>52126
"So, where've you been, anyway? You just kinda took off earlier."

"Great question! I've been out working hard to get you bunch a new job. And guess what? I did it! All you guys have to do is sign a few things, and you can all be working for Rastin like me by tomorrow."

>>52128
It just doesn't really seem like the right time for breakdancing at the moment.
>>
No. 52142 ID: 95484a
File 125402552170.png - (155.39KB , 820x640 , votingtime.png )
52142

"So, whaddya say, Blaze? You wanna keep robbing grocery stores for spare change, or do you want to stick with me, side with Rastin, and join the winning team for once in your life?"
>>
No. 52143 ID: 4553b2

>>52142
"...Didn't you just kill some of his mean right there?"
>>
No. 52146 ID: 95730a

>>52142
If you say yes, will you get electricity in order to be able to play your video games?

Find out. Your decision relies on the answer.
>>
No. 52159 ID: 95484a
File 125402843936.png - (153.80KB , 820x640 , Shelikeskoalas.png )
52159

>>52144
"If you're working for Rastin, and the MIB work for Rastin, didn't you just kill a bunch of your coworkers?"

"Sure! And now Rastin will know that I'm better than they are. Or were."

>>52146
"If we work for this guy, can we get the power turned back on? Shotgun Zombie doesn't work during a powerout. I mean, there's the PSP version, but it sucks like Grim's mom."

"Blaze, Blaze! You're thinking too small! Rastin's already promised me Australia, who knows what he'll give you?"
>>
No. 52171 ID: f4963f
File 125402946475.jpg - (136.35KB , 882x810 , Victor_Pissed.jpg )
52171

>Rastin's already promised me Australia
Back off, bitch.
>>
No. 52175 ID: f4963f

>>52159
Go for it, Blaze! What's the worst that could happen? BADASS CRIMINALS like us take chances as they come.
>>
No. 52176 ID: 9e9b47

>>52171

You're missing too much neck to run Australia properly.
>>
No. 52197 ID: f4963f
File 125403088024.jpg - (140.31KB , 882x810 , Or_Maybe_He's_A_Zombie.jpg )
52197

>You're missing too much of your neck to run Australia properly.
What're you talking about? It's just a major artery, a bundle of important nerves, and a section of my spinal column. Nothing major.
>>
No. 52206 ID: 4553b2

>>52159
Join Rastin. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
>>
No. 52220 ID: cd08c0

>>52159
Well, um, gee, I'da know, we, uh...
... HEY, we have two other guys with us. One of which is actually capable of talking. What does ol' Grimmy think about Rastin?
Or how 'bout Jaws? He can just... give us a thumbs up or thumbs down.
What do the sidekicks think?
>>
No. 91902 ID: 09f116

Join Rastin
>>
No. 107702 ID: d9faf1

Ask what job are we exactly signing up for?
Sweepers? Scrubbers?
If it means dying in packs to some asshole ADVENTURER, that may not be a wise career choice.

...Also, can we have New Zealand?
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