Killfist Mcslaughter

You are a cashier and wish to date a wizard.

Professor Meowiarty

Your objective is to steal Big Ben and defeat your rival Sherleaf Holmes

>>406069
upvote

Name: Lisbeth
Objective: Getting away with murder

Penny Cuddleblossom

Go through stargates to conquer fantasy /quest/ worlds in zany crossover events.

Sergeant Flufsky Cuddlefluff

Your objective is to take hill 904 with your squad from the dog people, allowing artillery to be moved forward.

>>406076
mite b cool

Mau Nyaan

Your objective is to be the most adorable thing in existence.

Mau Nyaan 2012/04/30(Mon)14:21 No. 406082 ID: c65650
File 133582087586.png - (105.08KB , 700x700 , professorkillfis.png )

>>406080
yesyesyes.

Your objectives are
>steal big ben
>get away with any and all murders
>date a wizard
>be the most adorable thing in existence

nom mousy toy

Mau Nyaan 2012/04/30(Mon)14:26 No. 406086 ID: c65650
File 133582121725.png - (114.80KB , 700x700 , mau.png )

>sneak sneak
first things first! ACQUIRING TARGET

>>406082
>be the most adorable thing in existence
Objective complete.
Now to find a cute catboy wizard. Where are we and where are the cute catboy wizards.

target is the Necronomicon. you must catburgle it to become the most desirable, adorable, evil catwizard to have ever existed.

>>406086

Find the man with the biggest gem in existence

I'm tempted to suggest dating the wizard first, since stealing Big Ben is a big operation and the help of a wizard would probably make that go smoother.
What kind of girl are you, and what kind of wizard do you want to date?

there is only one man who could make that building disappear into your possession.

you must seduce...

David Copperfield.

No no no, youère all getting it wrong. to steal a big building there is but one person she can seduce to ensure success. None other then the most famous thief in all the multi-verse. The person who once stole an entire mountain.

Carmen Sandiego

Big Ben is kinda big. You can't just slide it down the front of your pants like it was an iPod or something. You need either a wizard or one of those helicopters that lifts heavy things. And with the latter you'll want a wizard to make you invisible.

>>406307
Or you need to dig a giant hole under it, waiting for the right moment where you collapse the ground under big ben, and drive it away on you secret underground train you made for this purpose.

>>406270
>Lesbian theivery with Carmen

YES

>>406270
YES. VERY YES.
Especially with lesbian-ing.

Well hold on, we don't know if Nyaan is homosexual, bisexal or heterosexual. She hasn't lifted up her skirt and proved she's not a trap either. Plus isn't Carmen Sandiego retired anyway? I'm seeing a lot of possible problems here.
On the other hand with the thefts she pulled off Carmen Sandiego probably is a wizard. I also seem to remember her being fairly hot too. I don't remember what her sexual orientation was.

Mau Nyaan: Are you cute and adorable enough to seduce a straight woman? Can you do it?

>>406381
>Choices: Carmen Sandiego, Wizard
I believe you are forgetting one other important option for seduction.
Waldo
Or at least one of his contemporaries. I know he has a wizard friend he could hook Mau up with.

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/01(Tue)10:10 No. 406506 ID: c65650
File 133589220372.png - (90.82KB , 700x700 , notatrap.png )

not a trap but we do like boys

>>406506
>No underwear

holy shinnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh

Well that settles that. Now we need to steal the Big Ben. but the Big Ben's a big target, to steal it would be the HEIST OF THE CENTURY. And you know what that means.

Time to assemble a team of quirky oddballs, each the best in their field, having to break at least one of them out of jail, and at least one of them ending up being your true love. Recruitment of all but the one you have to break out of jail may be represented by a montage.

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/01(Tue)11:46 No. 406522 ID: c65650
File 133589801183.jpg - (34.90KB , 450x296 , maus11.jpg )

>>406520
???????

>>406325
I still think we need this

>>406270
This, so very much

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/01(Tue)12:59 No. 406544 ID: c65650
File 133590234166.png - (143.96KB , 700x700 , kitsunenyaaaaaa.png )

Kitsune is a wizard!

>>406544
Cute enough for my approval

I bet he can help you steal the Big Ben with magic! Where is he?

If you tip Big Ben into the Thames during a foggy night then you could just sail away with it.

After that proceed to float up to kitsunes place while standing on the clock face and say "AM I ON TIME OR WHAT?"

>>406549
This. Woo kitsune with your fine and elaborate punmanship

>>406549
absolutely

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/01(Tue)13:26 No. 406556 ID: c65650
File 133590398775.png - (114.89KB , 700x700 , messagehim.png )

well you have his AIM. what should we say?

"Did you cast a fire spell on me because I feel super hot!"

I put on my robe and wizard hat

"nyan"

All of the above.

>>406562
seconding this as the next response just to see how he responds

If this is true:
"Hey handsome, I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue and I'd be very grateful for your help pulling one of the biggest tricks ever."

Look, we're charismatic and attractive. We don't have to work too hard at the flirtatious thing, seriously. Something like, "Hey, I think you're a cool guy and I'd like to kiss you."

If he responds with anything questioning, you can just say "Listen, I could do the whole 'flirtatious banter' thing with you, if you'd prefer. I just thought I should put that on the table first. It's nice to be real with people. Are you busy right now?"

"I've been thinking of upgrading my alarm clock to something more stylish. Also are you busy?"

"I like big clocks and i cannot lie! Help me steal the Big Ben plz :3"

If no:
"Want to go chase some rodents together?"

Seriously, the straightforward approach is so baller when it works.
Gonna re-suggest something like "Because I think you're handsome and I'd like to kiss you and do sexy heists." with the same addendum if he seems hesitant as here >>406614

>>406640
Seconded.

>>406640
Remove the word "Because," I derped.

You're going to put it in England. On the north end of the Palace of Westminster.

>>406758
Nah man, put it on the south side!

Well damn, uh, I don't think we thought ahead this far. Can he teleport something that big, or at least make it invisible?

Depending on what exactly you mean by date a wizard, this might be something to try asking.
"Still trying to come up with a plan, want to bring over a lap for me to sit on and help me plan?"

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/01(Tue)20:55 No. 406776 ID: c65650
File 133593093322.gif - (361.95KB , 700x700 , maupurrfectday.gif )

(it won't loop for some reason, but animated)

If he can animate the tower and make it a living being then you can use your adorable charms to make it follow you to where you want it.

Sweet. Let's get rollin'.

Another interesting idea: Make it fly, turn Big Ben into your new airship, possibly your honeymoon cruiseliner if Kitsune is up for that, although it is a little early in the relationship to be talking about marriage: You haven't even had a date out or a weekend in bed with him yet.

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/02(Wed)14:36 No. 407115 ID: c65650
File 133599457758.png - (84.39KB , 700x700 , mauruns.png )

you start to run to Kitsune's house

how far is it to his place? you might need to procure some better means of travel.

Do you know how to hotwire a car?

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/02(Wed)17:32 No. 407244 ID: c65650
File 133600516877.png - (77.17KB , 700x1000 , tokitsuneshouse.png )

It's not a far jog. It'll take about 30 minutes or so

Uh, don't get hit by a car, and make sure you look your best when you get there. Try not to get distracted by things that look fun to chase.

>>407244

Get in shape! A 1.5 mile jog should not take thirty minutes

Take this opportunity to increase your stamina

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/02(Wed)19:44 No. 407328 ID: c65650
File 133601309093.png - (59.90KB , 700x700 , scamper.png )

>>407250

*sigh*
What did I just tell you not to do?

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/02(Wed)20:26 No. 407354 ID: c65650
File 133601561334.png - (100.51KB , 700x700 , mrow.png )

>>407335

I just told you not to chase things. Like what were you doing with that car.
Honestly Mau, if you can't control your instincts when you go on all-fours like that you need to walk upright on the sidewalk.

>>407356

Excuse me man. Did it ever occur to you that maybe she was running with the traffic, not after the traffic.

Some suggesters can be so racist.

>>407359
Actually no, it didn't. If she's talented enough to be running that fast I would be greatly surprised.

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/02(Wed)20:56 No. 407373 ID: c65650
File 133601741449.png - (85.88KB , 700x700 , mrow.png )

purrrr purrrr purrrrr

Kitsune! Go to Kitsune! What if he gets bored and leaves without you?

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/02(Wed)21:01 No. 407375 ID: c65650
File 133601771645.png - (56.47KB , 700x700 , mrow.png )

>>407374
As part cat you have a rather poor attention span. you continue to run to kitsune's house

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/02(Wed)21:04 No. 407376 ID: c65650
File 133601784995.png - (73.71KB , 700x700 , mrow.png )

knock knock!

Don't forget to glomp him!

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/02(Wed)21:09 No. 407379 ID: c65650
File 133601816660.png - (51.71KB , 700x700 , kitsune.png )

"Mau! took you long enough to get here! come in come in! tell me about your plan"

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/02(Wed)21:13 No. 407383 ID: c65650
File 133601840130.png - (104.45KB , 700x700 , kitsune.png )

*glomp!*

"I haven't really worked out all the details yet. I was thinking we could make it fly and turn it into our airship. If we need more planning than that how about you give me a lap to sit in while we think?"

Let's see. You could sail it away on the Thames, you could float it away on balloons, you could make it come to life, you could shrink it and carry it off, you could use illusions to make the tower disappear while pretending to do any of the above to make everyone THINK you stole it.

Also mark him with your scent. Surreptitiously.

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/05(Sat)17:28 No. 408546 ID: c65650
File 133626408663.png - (102.61KB , 700x700 , imacat.png )

robber clothes! now how are we going to get to the big ben?

>>408546
Tell the government to install a giant solid-fuel rocket in its foundation, steal the trigger, then activate it and fly away.

Go on a cruise.

>>408546
Don't you need a STYLISH MASK to properly steal landmarks?

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/05(Sat)20:52 No. 408611 ID: c65650
File 133627633997.png - (102.98KB , 700x700 , imacat.png )

>>408609
??????

>>408609

No, you need a bright red trenchcoat and hat.

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/05(Sat)21:08 No. 408618 ID: c65650
File 133627730545.png - (14.17KB , 700x700 , imacat.png )

(can anyone tell me why music won't go into flash :I)
>>408614
??????

>>408618
Purrfect. Now you can be a master sneak thief.

>>408618
Nothing says stealth like bright red. Let's go.

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/05(Sat)21:25 No. 408623 ID: c65650
File 133627830768.png - (70.16KB , 700x700 , imacat.png )

nop!

well aren't you a petulant bitchcat

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/05(Sat)21:29 No. 408628 ID: c65650
File 133627859632.png - (154.01KB , 700x700 , imacat.png )

vroooooooooom

>>408628

Drive off into the sunset.

no silly how can you drive when you are on a bobsled

>>408628
Alright, now follow the fog. once you can't see, you're in London. Trust me on this.

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/06(Sun)15:33 No. 408948 ID: c65650
File 133634358256.png - (102.97KB , 700x700 , hug.png )

what? give hugs?

Didn't you literally tell him you were coming over to kiss him? And you haven't done that yet! At least nibble on his ears a little bit.

DON'T CRASH!!!

Please
She is a proffesional
She ain't gonna crash
If fact, let's make this riskier!
Fondle his coin purse!

woah woah that is super cute and all but aren't you like in the middle of the street in front of all the pedestrians ever? y'all should go do the smoochin' somewhere else like:
-changing rooms
-elevators
-in the woods
-outer space

Mau Nyaan 2012/05/06(Sun)18:54 No. 409074 ID: c65650
File 133635569602.png - (136.26KB , 700x700 , uhhhh.png )

uhhhhh

What come on you could have had a quick kiss without crashing into anything
I mean, it's not like a Moped is as fuck to crash or anything
Now get on with it!

>>409085
>I mean, it's not like a Moped is as fuck to crash or anything
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
At the very least get mr. wizard to polymorph the moped into a sweet auto-driving car with a nice big back seat.

>>409122
This seems like a good idea. These two are ready for the stage of a relationship where they're making use of the backseat of a car already it seems.

>>409287
A nice back seat is fine for makeouts, too. Ain't nobody gotta feel obligated to do nothin' too sexual.

Eyes on the road, AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Stop the moped, go play in the bushes >:3

>>409074
Stick to the plan, stick to the plan!

Name: Him'mler
Gender: Male
Purpose: To purge all the sub-koboldian filth from the land!

>>409492
Wrong thread

Explode dramatically.

>>409602
Is there a boring way to spontaneously explode?

>>409604
Yes, into song and dance.
No musicals!

(sorry guys, I was taken back to rehab for a few weeks but now I'm back at the transitional house where I can use my computer nao. updates tomorrow I hope)

>>409619
I see someone's parents never had them watch "The Court Jester" when they were little.
You really need to see Danny Kaye in his prime.

>>417846
yay... I guess...

o.O

>>417846

Well that's better than being dead! Now, ONWARD!

Mau Nyaan 2012/06/15(Fri)22:35 No. 422900 ID: bdfc91
File 133982491547.png - (465.64KB , 700x700 , maummmmmm.png )

>from somewhere beneath you, something explodes, skyrocketing the two of you way up into the air!

The best defense against an explosion is to walk away from it with a swagger, but since you're already in the air you'll have to strike a pose. That way you should land in a safe and stylish manner.

High-five a skydiver on the way up.

Quick. Think about everything you did until now.

Good thing a cat always lands on her feet.

Flail furiously!

Mau Nyaan 2012/06/16(Sat)10:56 No. 423155 ID: 8ade5f
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>>422998

Does a fox always land on his feet?

>>423156
unfortunately, no. but they do explode quite spectacularly though!

>>423158
err, wizards explode, not foxes...

>>423163
Maybe he's a fox wizard

Mau Nyaan 2012/06/16(Sat)13:36 No. 423186 ID: 8ade5f
File 133987896051.png - (90.08KB , 700x700 , oops.png )

owwwwo looks like foxes aren't as agile. Kitsune seems to have a hurt arm

>>423186
well, at least he didn't explode, this time...

Give his boo-boo a kiss.

...also try to find out if it's broken. A broken arm requires a visit to the hospital.

Go into sexy nurse mode and heal the poor baby.
His bones will straighten out from that.

Mau Nyaan 2012/06/16(Sat)14:38 No. 423199 ID: 8ade5f
File 133988273604.png - (99.72KB , 700x700 , ohnooooooooos.png )

oh noes time to fix a booboo

>>423199
Cats lick injuries to make them feel better, right?

>>423199
The victim may have broken bones, bind him by straddling the patient so to ensure no further injury. Then investigate that his lower body works fine, doing the standard cough procedure.

Most importantly, do what it takes to keep the heart pumping regularly. You don't have any pace sensing equipment, so you're going to do whatever you can with what you have.

It's not visibly broken, it may be just sprained and if there's a break it's at least not too bad, and won't need setting. A sling may suffice to immobilize it, and immobilizing is all it needs to heal. A splint would be a good idea if you have appropriate materials.

>>423201
That's only for cuts and other open wounds. It has no effect here.

Use necromancy. It's the only alternative here.

Mau Nyaan 2012/06/17(Sun)22:16 No. 423729 ID: 8ade5f
File 133999660045.png - (12.00KB , 700x700 , necromeowncer.png )

>>423218
Necromeowncer it is

>>423729
What about nekomancy?

Use your powers to summon a SKELETON DOCTOR to help.
Ideally you would be using a skeleton that's not in use. Having his skeleton turn into a doctor and heal him would probably upset him.

Mau Nyaan 2012/06/19(Tue)20:14 No. 424240 ID: 8ade5f
File 134016205955.png - (12.20KB , 700x700 , deeeeeeeeeed.png )

>>423738
esplain

Use his body to summon the Skeleton Doctor. Therefore, the doctor will have to heal himself not to die again. Problem solved, exorcize the doctor. Or you could have a zombie boyfriend. 'Bit slow and with specific tastes for food, but immortal, ageless and extremely loyal.

Aren't kitsune already immortal?

>>424269
Then he will be DOUBLE immortal!

HOLY BASTET! BRACE FOR IMPACT!

woah woah woah woah, stop the car

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/big-ben-renamed-elizabeth-tower-queen-161556344.html

>>426299
The clock tower from the Palace of Westminster will be renamed? Nice. Queen Elizabeth II deserves this honor.

IT ALSO MEANS THAT TIME ISN'T THE SAME ANYMORE! QUICK! LET'S SAVE HIM BEFORE HE DIES AGAIN!