just because your a chocoholic doesn't mean your fat, I just wanted a common temptation
no let's change that to recovering chocoholic, still has a problem, but likely your not fat. It was a stage during childhood when you were fat and all the hippies teased you for it, and now you arrest, shoot, and punch them all the time now. but that chocolate, it always beckons.

-four fingers per hand and four toes per foot
-penguin-like limp
-mysterious and tragic past
-fondness for awful pink shirts
-tendency of hippies in your vicinity to end up becoming brain salad

Pathfinder Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)16:48 No. 324767 ID: 543375
File 131034171259.png - (98.35KB , 913x607 , 1.png )

You find a type writer.

Tack... Tack tack... Tack.. Tack... BRRRRING!

Tack Tack... Tack... Tack......

It takes you a minute to work the keyboard, but you still don't know how to turn off capslock.

Everybody has got some skills. What is our hero Superb at?

Two things he's great.

Three he's good...

four for fair....

Five he's average at...

>>324755

Needs to know the truth. Makes for a good compel. Other than the bum leg, I agree with >>324756 for the rest.

shoot, too late.

superb: SENSUAL SEDUCTION
great: SEXUAL ERUPTION

Superb: Saying One liners
Great: Aiming, talking
Good: Punching, noticing details, Cooking
Fair: Typing, Fashion

Can't think of anymore

Bum leg AND chocoholic?! NOOOOOOOOokay.

Superb at SEDUCTION.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)16:58 No. 324776 ID: 543375
File 131034231666.png - (100.09KB , 913x607 , 1.png )

Who'ss this Pathfinder hippie? If I find him I'm gonna shoot him!

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)17:00 No. 324778 ID: 543375
File 131034244270.png - (101.31KB , 913x607 , 1.png )

Almost there. Like a heaving dame on a cold July night in my bed.

>>324767
Superb detective.
Great shot, great lay
good drinker, good schmoozer, good with locks
fair fast-talker, fair brawler, fair interior decorator, fair fashion designer
average dietitian, average psychologist, average sword-fighter, average blacksmith, average construction worker

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)17:05 No. 324783 ID: 543375
File 131034274733.png - (104.38KB , 913x607 , 1.png )

Looking pretty jazz there.

Only a few more.

>>324783
Average Zombologist (Knows how to deal with Zombies)

Average Medic

Fair Dietician

fair: lockpicking, tinkering, appraising, hiding.

Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)17:10 No. 324787 ID: 543375
File 131034300095.png - (105.59KB , 913x607 , 1.png )

Yeah, That's about right.

Mack can do some pretty awesome stunts. What kind of stunts can Mack pull off?

Mack can hold his breath for 10 minutes.

>>324787
Shoryuken.
Hadoken.
RAGING DEMON.
Dragon Fist.
Sonic Boom.

>>324795

don't make him a Marty Sue, dude.

how about headbutts that make lockers cave in, like those guys from football teams?

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)17:21 No. 324800 ID: 543375
File 131034371404.png - (107.45KB , 913x607 , 1.png )

Mack presses a key on the type writer and it does something weird.

>>324800
Woah, the high score? Nice.
Also, he can do like six backflips in a row. Like Leon S. Kennedy.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)17:33 No. 324807 ID: 543375
File 131034443821.png - (126.84KB , 913x607 , 1.png )

Alright. I think we've got this. Just one last question? Who's our arch nemesis?

>>324807
HIPPIES. THOSE FUCKING HIPPIES. AND THEIR LEADER, ALBERT HOFFMAN!

Daemuck Fond, an English Baron and criminal mastermind.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)17:51 No. 324818 ID: 543375
File 131034546265.png - (170.25KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

The detective license is complete. Fairly pleased with himself, Mack deserves a nice hot cup of coffee. Mmmm. Delicious.

TAKE THAT COFFEE AWAY FROM THE PAPER.

...goddammit Mack.

>>324807
He-who-dances-like-butterfly
A serial killer hippy

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)17:58 No. 324827 ID: 543375
File 131034588439.png - (202.30KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

Oops

>>324818
...MACK!
God dammit this is the last straw. You're too wild Mack! You're a loose cannon! I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no choice. I'm making you partners with Officer Gumby, taking your badge, and taking you off the Butterfly Case. You've given me no choice, Mack.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)18:06 No. 324834 ID: 543375
File 131034637335.png - (211.65KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

Shit. Let's make a backup of this before any more accidents.

Mack gurries over to his printer and puts the paper in the scanner bed and presses the copy button.

That weird green light light thing happens and the printer makes that weird mechanical noise, but instead of spitting out a copy, it clicks three times and a blinking E on the little number screen shows up. While this happens some mail is slotted though the drop hole at the entrance to his office.

>>324834
MOTHER FUCKING THING IS OUT OF PAPER!

Also, check the mail. AND PUT THAT COFFEE AWAY.

Printer could be empty. Check if there's paper in there. Then check mail.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)18:15 No. 324840 ID: 543375
File 131034690833.png - (194.63KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

Yeah. It's out of paper. Mack makes a little note to himself on the license and picks up the mail. Placing his coffee on the opposite end of the desk he fans through the mail. Two items stand out. An ordinary looking letter that doesn't look like it has any junk mail in it. It looks like this month's rent check. And a pink envelope that smells like perfume and is sealed with a kiss.

>>324840
Right. Before you do ANYTHING ELSE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BACK UP YOUR LICENSE. Use a Fate Point or something, just... just STOP. I can't bear to watch!

Also, open the Check, and then the Perfumevelope

check financial status. don't use a goddamn fate point.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)18:24 No. 324848 ID: 543375
File 131034748835.png - (213.20KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

Mack opns his desk and pulls out a large dull bowie knife and uses it to open the pink, scented kissy letter.

>"ALRIGHT YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I GOT YOUR ATTENTION NOW! YOU PAY UP YOUR FUCKING RENT THIS WEEK ON TIME OR SO HELP ME I'LL TORCH YOUR GOD DAMN APARTMENT MYSELF AND SAVE ME THE TROUBLE OF GETTING YOU FUCKING EVICTED."

> -Your Landlord.

Also Mack cut his finger.

>>324840
Burn it. Hippy poison.

>>324848
...Oh god, I can feel its' pain...

Anyway, check the OTHER letter. Make a note to congratulate your landlord on his creativity.

>>324848
I told you hippy poison.

>>324848
How much money have you got? Open the other letter in hopes it's NOT a bill.

Oh god, I'm facepalming so hard right now. Just...just don't touch your license, ok? Leave on the floor, ground...wherever you want. Don't even go NEAR that thing. Put on a band-aid BEFORE opening the pink envelope.

>>324856
We opened the pink one. The Other One is unopened.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)18:39 No. 324860 ID: 543375
File 131034834027.png - (205.69KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

Mack uses his license to catch the drips of blood anyway. He's gotta or he might bleed on his solid mahogany veneer desk. Priorities, man. Priorities.

The Other letter in the plain envelope contains a a single folded piece of paper, professionally typed and neatly laid out with articulate writing. Briefly summing it up:

>"Mack. I love you."

>"Sincerely; Professor Damsel"

This is a startling revelation. Also Mack is still bleeding. A lot. He should probably do something about that. I think he might have the skills to do it. What should he do?

>>324860
Mack, use your medical training to staunch the bleeding. Also, google "Professor Damsel+Berkeley". Also, that license hates you forever now.

apply a band-aid or bind it if it's that bad.

while you're doing that, think back on your encounters with Professor Damsel.

>>324860
Come up with a diet that will increase blood coagulation?

Get your first aid kit out and administer bandages and such.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)19:15 No. 324887 ID: 543375
File 131035053186.png - (218.85KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

>Medic Skill result: Terrible! (- - - - N)

Mack somehow manages to cut himself with a band aid. Also this license is a terrible mess! We'll need to clean it up later.

Damsel's Laboratory is across town and there is a Supply Store along the way that sells whiteout and paper. The Bleeding will stop in a few minutes anyway.

After another quick note, Mack rushes downstairs to his car. The General Lee!

>>324887
...I'm actually going to cry when he gets that whiteout. AND AT LEAST STAUNCH THE BLEEDING YOU FUCKWIT! You want an infection!? Steering wheels and door handles are FILTHY.

>>324887

the The General Lee? whoa.

proceed to the general store. and take your license with you. just in case.

You managed to cut yourself with a BAND-AID. And you're saying now that the license looks bad.

I...I don't even know anymore.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)19:27 No. 324896 ID: 543375
File 131035126298.png - (219.51KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

Stanching a slight cut seems a little extreme.... Buuuuut.... Ok.

Mack presses his finger against the hand rail outside that is hot enough to fry an egg.

>Mack: "Uh-uh. No way."

Mack presses his finger against the hand rail outside that is hot enough to fry an egg.

>Mack: "Fuck no."

Mack presses his finger against the hand rail outside that is hot enough to fry an egg.

>Mack: "I don't wanna."

Mack pressed his finger against the hand rail outside that is hot enough to fry an egg.

>Mack: "Ow! Now it's gonna blister."

Yes... Yes... Harness your anger... Your hate...

>>324896
Oh shit, the narrator is evil!

Whatever, just go... I can't take this wanton license abuse...

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)19:37 No. 324898 ID: 543375
File 131035187888.png - (221.90KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

The General Lee is parked outside, It's a marvelous beauty from a distance. The closer you get the more it looks like a spay painted Honda Civic with a Confederate Flag drawn on top with a bunch of sharpies. Some hippy is trying to put a flyer on the windshield. he can tell he's a hippie because he knows when he sees a hippy. Is it Hippie or Hippy?

>>324898
Sneak up behind him and whisper in his ear "The south will rise again."

>>324887

See, that right there? Good time to spend a point on a reroll. Four -s, fuck me.

>>324898
Shout angrily at the hippie.

>>324898
It's hippie. Also yell at him to keep his damn flyer to himself.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)21:19 No. 324932 ID: 543375
File 131035798937.png - (261.65KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

>Word Fighting Result: Fantastic!(+-++N)+2 for invoking Aspect, i hates them hippies1

Mack skulk up behind the hippy and suddenly bellows angrily into his ear, startling the hippie. His words cut like a dull knife on a finger. It stings like a mother fucker but doesn't accomplish much.

Turns out it's a meter maid and he says he still has to write the ticket once he's started in melancholic tone. Despite his stoic expression you've still wounded him and he's lost a slight bit of his composure and his cheap ball point pen as he wanders off to find yet more cars parked in a red zone.

>Obtained cheap Bic pen. It's slightly chewed on and is missing a cap. It seems to work.

Time to get in the car.

>>324932
Honk the horn like you always do.

>>324932
VICTORY AT WAR!

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)02:05 No. 324978 ID: 543375
File 131037512876.png - (262.45KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

Mack would love nothing more than to hop in and toot his magnificent novelty horn, but alas it's seemed he's locked his keys in the car. And tack welded the doors shut last night for the whole stock car experience sans the roll cage and the AC still works.

And the windows are up.

>>324978
Jack the car door open very slightly with a crowbar or something and then use a use a coathanger to lift-

>tack welded.

You dumbass.

Break someones window and steal their car.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)02:37 No. 324981 ID: 543375
File 131037704861.png - (405.18KB , 1321x607 , 2.png )

>Mack: "I ain't no thief."

Mack would never steal a car willingly. But he could just as easily break into his. Let's check Mack's Inventory really quick. What can we use?

>>324981
Well obviously you shoot it, bub.

>>324981
Obviously, use the gun's GRIP to smash the windows.

If you need me, I"ll be over hear banging my head against my desk over the fact that we failed to make "Common Sense" and "Not a dumbass" aspects...

...what's that thing in the middle?

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)07:20 No. 325025 ID: 543375
File 131039400776.png - (432.32KB , 1321x607 , 2.png )

Mack can think of several reasons not to use the gun to break into a car. Most of which involve State gun control laws.

Put we do have a handy dandy opening device right here. Let's put away out gumshoe writing utensils for a bit and take out the special skeleton key.

>crash!

The Spark Plug easily smashes the window. A quick glance around shows that there aren't any cops except the meter maid who rolling his eyes at you. Dramatically. Mack casually discards the spark plug.

undiscard that spark plug! you don't have a lighter, so you'll need that to light your cigarettes.

you don't seem to have cigarettes either. make a note on your license to buy some.

Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)07:58 No. 325029 ID: 543375
File 131039633662.png - (281.29KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

You can't light a cigarette with a spark plug! or at least you're not sure how.

Besides, that wasn't a spark plug. That was a skeleton key. unlocks any door with a window. And it's kind of broken anyway.

Mack makes a little note to pick up cigarette and a lighter as well and climbs in. The car starts despite being poorly taken care of and the horn beeps an enthusiastic but mono-tone version of Dixie, or at least if it would if he could afford the Dukes of Hazzard Novelty Horn. This one plays the Mexican Hat Dance.

The radio come one...

>Radio: "This is tom Brokav with a speshial report. San Diego, California. A Man in his fifties goes tot he doctor and says: "Doc, I'm having trouble pleasing my wife." to which the doctor replies "You should try the power of fantasy. Hire a sexy young stud to stand above you while making love. Make sure he's totally naked and spinning a towel over you two as you hav sex." So with the young escort in tow the man comes home to his hot, young trophy wife and they enter their bedroom with the stud.

>The Next day the man goes back to the doctor and tells him that is didn't work. The doctor then suggests that he let the oung stud have sex with his wife as he swings the towel. And so he does, and while his wife is having sex with the hot young stud she has her most powerful release ever, two which the man replies to the escort: "Ya see! That's how you swing a towel.

I'm Tom Brokav and this is NBC news."

>>325029
Lol, funny guy. Also New Bonus Objective: Acquire novelty spark plug lighter.

Elephant Guy 2011/07/11(Mon)08:35 No. 325033 ID: ec07dd
File 131039854565.jpg - (47.18KB , 131x132 , iseewhatyoudidtheregriffin.jpg )

>>325029

that's a Turkish joke. fucking Americans stealing our jokes.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)09:13 No. 325042 ID: 543375
File 131040082723.png - (39.94KB , 676x607 , Punch it like an ugly babby.png )

Some other stuff about budget cuts and what not from Obama comes on. Mack just changes it to a Boz Scaggs cassette and punches it like a bat out of hell.

>Driving Result: Good

He doesn't clip any innocent pedestrians this time.

Elsewhere...

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)09:32 No. 325045 ID: 543375
File 131040194761.png - (84.79KB , 914x607 , 3.png )

Our Damsel is in Distress! She's trying to fill out her license but she can't think of what else she's able to do. Also she's not sure who filled out her aspects. But she does have some nice legs, er "Gams."

Elephant Guy 2011/07/11(Mon)10:27 No. 325059 ID: eee669
File 131040522238.jpg - (81.72KB , 1024x768 , gymnastics.jpg )

let's get some gymnastics up in this bitch.

she's also good at, uh, siphoning fuel and other similar actions.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)10:36 No. 325065 ID: 543375
File 131040576795.png - (106.75KB , 914x607 , 3.png )

>Dame: S-Siphon-n-n-n-n-ning?

She looks flustered.

>Dame: It's e-embarrass-s-s-sing, but I-I admit. I'm p-pretyy fair at automotive r-repairs I- I guess. And g-gymnastics.

>>325065
Don't forget fair at HOT SEXINGS.

And Quantum physics. AND BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)10:44 No. 325071 ID: 543375
File 131040629088.png - (107.70KB , 914x607 , 3.png )

>Dame: S-sex!? I-I-I'm a v-!

She stops.

>Dame: I'm not that kind of g-girl! No! P-please don't put that down! I-I-...

How many more double entendres can we cram in this bitch? Ha! Ha! Cram.

fine, be a virgin.

but you're good at handjobs regardless, due to many hours of training with Shake Weights.

>>325072
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Shake weights.

Also, a decent BOXER.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)11:03 No. 325083 ID: 543375
File 131040742423.png - (109.59KB , 914x607 , 3.png )

Let's just hurry this along.


All we need now are some stunts.

>>325083
Can punch a man's kidneys through his spine.

>>325083
Stuttering blushsplosion
I'm cute forgive me
Hidden genius
Where was she even hiding that gun

>>325083
*Half-truths
*SCIENCE~! (and making gizmos from nothing :P)

I second MacGyverisms at full force.

>>325095
MACGYVER! WOO!

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)11:54 No. 325097 ID: 543375
File 131041044081.png - (29.92KB , 914x580 , 4.png )

Damsel: "That's... okay I guess. I better not show it to anyone though..."

Quickly she photocopies the license in triplicate, laminates the original and stores it in a fireproof safe, keeping one of the duplicates with her.

>>325097
....I'm in love. Now, WAIT HERE. HOT DICKINGS Detective Mack is coming your way.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)12:21 No. 325101 ID: 543375
File 131041208668.png - (401.48KB , 459x632 , 5.png )

That's right! Mack is coming over! Now she's all flustered. She forgot she sent that letter. Panic time! Oh no! What should she wear? She can't see him in this strapless bathing suit! It's not professional!

>>325101
Lady. All your clothing is held on with duct tape. Also, I don't think Mack will care.

Wear that patriotic outfit.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/14(Thu)11:00 No. 326321 ID: 543375
File 131066642459.png - (86.41KB , 249x476 , 6.png )

>Damsel: "Now what?"

warm up, if you catch my drift.

Find the cure for zombie AIDS.

Find the cure for DEATH.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/14(Thu)19:16 No. 326428 ID: 543375
File 131069619126.png - (33.90KB , 914x580 , 4.png )

>Damsel: "Warm Up? A few stretches wouldn't hurt I guess."

Damsel attempts to do a few leg stretches

>Medicine Result: Mediocre (----)

She looses her balance and falls face forward, almost bumping her head and knocks over a couple glass beakers.

>Damsel "Eek!"

She lies on her back for a few seconds.

>Damsel: "Maybe I should do something else to get ready for Mack."

(-1 Composure)

>>326428
Careful, did you spill any of that stuff that was in the beakers on you?

>>326428
Is Professor your first name? Also, what the hell do you see in Mack seriously. He is a crazed supernaturally seductive maniac.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/15(Fri)02:54 No. 326538 ID: 543375
File 131072365801.png - (60.93KB , 914x580 , 4.png )

>Careful, did you spill any of that stuff that was in the beakers on you?

>Damsel: "N-no! Well.. A-a little bit of acid on the license"

>Is Professor your first name? Also, what the hell do you see in Mack seriously. He is a crazed supernaturally seductive maniac.

>Damsel: "My n-name is Damsel, b-b-ut I'm a p-professor of s-science at B-Berkley. I-I teach Theoretical N-nuclear Physics and P-pottery. A-and Mack has always b-been there for m-me a-and I-I... W-well, he's smarter than h-he looks you know?"

Meanwhile in the General Lee... Suggestion 2011/07/15(Fri)02:57 No. 326539 ID: 543375
File 131072386577.png - (460.05KB , 1321x607 , 2.png )

>Mack: "Come one you little fucker... come on! I almost got- Yes! Gotcha you little bastard!"

Item added to inventory: Treasure.

wipe that shit off somewhere you disgusting fuck.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/15(Fri)18:43 No. 326662 ID: 543375
File 131078060858.png - (282.97KB , 943x607 , 1.png )

>Mack: "Alright, alright. Quit riding my ass. God damn."