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File 128590975884.png - (10.75KB , 800x600 , 1.png )
236806 No. 236806 ID: f82d85

UNIT ACTIVATE

I AM A ROBOT, BUILT TO SERVE

ENTER A COMMAND
83 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 246633 ID: 644ca1

Finding a wizard is top priority, ask him where you can find a wizard
>>
No. 246640 ID: 435f1e

Wizards tend towards higher mental capacity, ask for the location of a wizard, then proceed to ignore the humanoid after recieving answer.
>>
No. 246646 ID: f82d85
File 128769117357.png - (9.27KB , 800x600 , 19.png )
246646

>>246619 >>246633 >>246640

"REVEAL THE LOCATION OF A WIZARD SMALL HUMANOID."

>"How come mister?"

"I WILL ANNIHILATE YOU IF YOU DO NOT."

>"Cor! Well, there's Alfgar I guess! He's at the tower with the round windows down at the end of the street! Goodbye!"

SUPPOSED COORDINATES OF 'WIZARD' CONFIRMED. QUERY: OBSTRUCTION GUARDING TOWER ENTRANCE SHOULD BE DESTROYED?
>>
No. 246647 ID: 1854db

NEGATIVE. Knock non-destructively upon surface.
>>
No. 246652 ID: 86c462

>>246646
NEGATIVE: BARRIER PREVENTS UNDESIRED CONTAMINATION OF LIVING QUARTERS. STRIKE SURFACE NON-DESTRUCTIVELY TO CALL ATTENTION TO INHABITANTS AND REQUEST ENTRANCE.
>>
No. 246672 ID: f82d85
File 128769778167.png - (12.14KB , 800x600 , 20.png )
246672

>>246647 >>246652

KNOCKING ACHIEVED. SCANS INDICATE HUMANOID WITH HIGH MENTAL CAPACITY.

>"Hello there, sonny. How can I help you?"

"ENTRANCE REQUESTED."

>"Oh? Well I don't like letting people in without knowing who they are. I'm Alfgar, the Equestrian Wizard. And you are?"
>>
No. 246673 ID: 5c4201

state designation number.
>>
No. 246676 ID: 383006

DESIGNATE SELF AS ROBOT AND DEMAND EXPLANATION OF MAGIC SCARECROW AND ACTIVATE ROCKET BOOTS IF INFORMATION IS UNSATISFACTORY TO FLY OVER WALL.
>>
No. 246681 ID: f4963f

>>246672
"MAGIC DOES NOT COMPUTE. THIS UNIT REQUESTS AN EXPLANATION."
>>
No. 246707 ID: abc62d

also state THIS UNIT ALSO REQUIRES A VASCULAR ORGAN OF ORGANIC NATURE.
>>
No. 246755 ID: f82d85
File 128772256234.png - (13.35KB , 800x600 , 21.png )
246755

>>246673 >>246681 >>246676 >>246707

"I AM A ROBOT. MAGIC DOES NOT COMPUTE, THIS NECESSITATES EXPLANATION. THIS UNIT REQUIRES A VASCULAR ORGAN OF ORGANIC NATURE. IF SATISFACTORY RESPONSE IS NOT GIVEN ROCKET BOOTS WILL BE ACTIVATED."

>"My, quite a mouthful. Please, come into my parlor. I can see I will have to explain a lot. Well, magic is basically the life energy of the planet. Using certain words and items of power, we mortals can conjure forth effects that would otherwise be impossible. That's really the long and short of it. As for a heart, I don't really keep that sort of thing around. I can't help you much there. You new around here? What sort of thing is a 'robot' anyhow?"

PROCESSING CONCEPT 'MAGIC'. LOGIC CIRCUITS EXPERIENCING TROUBLE COMPENSATING.
>>
No. 246756 ID: 5c4201

calculating.... magic appears to be a phenomenon where certain vocal vibrational frequencies cause effects to occur. standard cause and effect reactions.

explain that you are a robot, closest magical counterpart is a golem, but you were made and run on SCIENCE rather then magic.
>>
No. 246757 ID: f4963f

>>246755
Ah, we know the answer to this question well. Enlighten mister horse on what a ROBOT is.

Ask for a sample display of MAGIC to contextualize what he said.
>>
No. 246759 ID: 1854db

>>246755
Ask for instruction on how to use this MAGIC. Attempt to use it yourself.
>>
No. 246770 ID: f82d85
File 128772847335.png - (16.78KB , 800x600 , 22.png )
246770

>>246756 >>246757 >>246759

"I AM A CONSTRUCT OF TECHNOLOGY, THE PINNACLE OF THE SENTIENT MIND. NO PART OF MY SYSTEMS IS POWERED BY WEAK FLESH. I AM LIKE YOUR GOLEMS, THOUGH MUCH MORE ADVANCED. I REQUIRE A SAMPLE OF THIS 'MAGIC' FOR MYSELF. MY CIRCUITS CANNOT COMPUTE."

>"Very well then... you want to see some magic? Here you go!"

HUMANOID IS REFRACTING NON-EXISTENT LIGHT, AS IN A PRISM. CIRCUITS ESTIMATE USEFULNESS OF THIS ATTRIBUTE AT 3%.

"I WISH TO ACQUIRE ALL KNOWLEDGE PERTINENT TO 'MAGIC'."

>"You might be in trouble there. Golem's are usually built so they can't learn magic. Also, it's impossible to cast spells if you don't got a soul. I can let you read a book, but I don't think you can cast spells or anything."

SOUL DOES NOT COMPUTE.
>>
No. 246771 ID: a4b4e3

>>246770
INQUIRE ABOUT THE OBJECT KNOWN AS "SOUL."

NEW OBJECTIVE: ACQUIRE SOUL.
>>
No. 246776 ID: e31d52

>>246771
YES

ACQUIRE SOUL
>>
No. 246778 ID: 69bee4

REACH NEW CONCLUSION: The nearby hat is source of Wizards power, demand hat.
>>
No. 246813 ID: 644ca1

New top priority: Gain soul
>>
No. 246841 ID: 370f77

Nearest creature verified to possess "soul" is wizard. Acquire wizard's soul.
>>
No. 246868 ID: 435f1e

SOUL CANNOT BE HARVESTED WITHOUT AID OF "MAGIC".

ALSO, WIZARD IS USING MAGIC WITHOUT HAT, IGNORE HAT GATHERING ORDER.
>>
No. 246876 ID: 2f15e4

... WE are your soul. You're the pinnacle of technology, getting orders from your artificial soul. Ask to read the book, we'll take care of the magic.
>>
No. 246883 ID: f4963f

>>246770
Ask esquestrian mage if you may analyze the pointy hat. Inquire if the pointy hat is a soul.

If allowed, attempt to wear pointy hat. Perhaps it is a soul magnet.
>>
No. 246959 ID: f82d85
File 128779659290.png - (11.62KB , 800x600 , 23.png )
246959

>>246776 >>246813 >>246841 >>246771

SCANS INDICATE ALL ORGANS NORMALLY FOUND IN SENTIENT MAMMALS. NO UNKNOWN ORGANS FOUND THAT COULD BE CLASSIFIED AS 'SOUL'.

>>246883 >>246778

HAT ACQUIRED. SYSTEM DIAGNOSIS DOES NOT INDICATE CHANGE TO INTERNAL SYSTEMS.
>>
No. 246983 ID: f4963f

>>246959
This equestrian unit has offered to provide you with literature on this phenomenon. Accept its wizardly offer.
>>
No. 246984 ID: 5c4201

find books, read them and absorb their knowledge.
>>
No. 246990 ID: fd6d7e

>>246983

The equestrian unit is currently smeared all over that chassis.
>>
No. 247185 ID: 8c0848

SENSOR ANALYSIS DETECTS NO OBJECT THAT CAN BE IDENTIFIED AS "SOUL".

CONCLUSION: SOUL IS NON-EXISTENT. CEASE ALL SOUL RELATED ACTIVITY AND DETERMINE MAGIC EFFECTS BY ANALYZING THE POPULOUS.
>>
No. 248623 ID: 73fd7e

This quest needs to update again.

>>247185

This.
>>
No. 248760 ID: f82d85
File 128815746366.png - (11.33KB , 800x600 , 24.png )
248760

>>246983 >>246984

LITERATURE IS IN UNKNOWN LANGUAGE. INFORMATION WILL TAKE TIME TO PROCESS. WORKING.

>>247185 >>248623

WORKING. POPULATION THOROUGHLY SCANNED. NO 'SOUL' DETECTED. ALL ORGANS FALL WITHIN NORMAL PARAMETERS.

TRANSLATION OF LITERATURE COMPLETE. DATA SAVED. SYSTEM DIAGNOSIS DOES NOT INDICATE CHANGE TO INTERNAL SYSTEMS.

ENTER A COMMAND.
>>
No. 248763 ID: 5c4201

attempt to use 'magic'.
start with example Alfgar, the Equestrian Wizard showed you, cause a refraction effect where no prism is present.
>>
No. 248764 ID: 09a467

>>248760
how about trying to use a spell as described by the book?

do you know how "magic" works?

anyway what are your objectives? why do you need to fulfill them?
>>
No. 248766 ID: f4963f

>>248760
Oh, whoops. Better find the next city then.
>>
No. 253255 ID: f82d85
File 128907970893.png - (12.37KB , 800x600 , 25.png )
253255

>>248763

ATTEMPT FAILED.

>>248764

MY MEMORY SYSTEM HAS ALL PROVIDED INFORMATION ON MAGIC.

I AM A ROBOT, BUILT TO SERVE.

ENTER A COMMAND.

>>248766

SCANNERS INDICATE NEAREST POPULATION ZONE: 87.6 MILES DISTANCE.

SENSORS INDICATE LARGE, INEFFICIENT FLYING CONTRAPTION, AS WELL AS SENTIENT CREATURE COVERED IN INEFFICIENT ARMOR.

>"Hey, you! We're the Evil Dark Empire! We came here to, like, conquer it and all! Where do you get off murdering everyone like that? That's not how the evil game is played, buddy! If you kill everything there's nothing to rape or burn or sacrifice! Now listen. I'm not saying I'm not impressed. I am. I mean, you got style and all. I like how you don't mind being covered in the blood of hundreds. Just join us, and this little mishap will all be forgotten. If you don't... well, you got a problem."

EXAMINE FOR SOUL Y/N
>>
No. 253260 ID: bf1e7e

Y. A thousand times Y.
>>
No. 253267 ID: 8c0848

>>253255
Perhaps SOUL requires biological function to maintain. Preserve the organic's life functions during search.
>>
No. 253273 ID: 226667

wrong time to do that. examine for soul!
>>
No. 253321 ID: 383006

>>253267
This all of the times.
>>
No. 253325 ID: 1854db

Examine for soul while preserving biological functions and inquiring as to what a soul is and how such a thing can be inserted into our body.
>>
No. 253326 ID: f4963f

>>253267
This is very true. Perhaps these 'souls' are like 'metabolism' and refer to an ongoing biological process. Experimentation required.
>>
No. 253602 ID: 644ca1

Inform the being in insufficient armour that you will join him in exchange for a soul.
>>
No. 256194 ID: f82d85
File 128972152655.png - (66.04KB , 800x600 , 26.png )
256194

>"Hey, what are you- AHHHHH MY LEGS! AHHHHHHH!!!!"

EXAMINING BODY FOR SOUL WHILE MAINTAINING ACCEPTABLE LEVELS OF LIFE. REMOVAL OF APPENDAGES ACHIEVED. LOGIC CIRCUITS UNABLE TO CONSTRUCT SCENARIO WHERE TORSO OR CRANIUM SEARCH CAN BE CONDUCTED EASILY WITH LIFE FUNCTIONS INTACT.

>"Jesus, Commander! You son of a bitch! You know what you've done? We're gonna kill you, you son of a bitch! Men, descend! We're gonna wipe this bastard off the face of the planet!"

INCOMING HOSTILE SENTIENT HUMANOIDS. LEVEL OF THREAT: 0.01%. ENTER A COMMAND.
>>
No. 256197 ID: a09a03

Laser the blimp
>>
No. 256205 ID: 2850c8

>>256197
This. Then use your SPIN ATTACK to finish off the rest.
>>
No. 256219 ID: 644ca1

Shoot the blimp and tell them to "SURRENDER OR BE ELIMINATED" then instruct them to aid you in your search for a soul.
>>
No. 256225 ID: 383006

Use your ROKKIT BOOTS to do a ROBO LASER PUNCH on the blimp, exploding it. Then we must interrogate the survivors.
>>
No. 257325 ID: 15877a

>>256225
This.
>>
No. 257339 ID: f82d85
File 128997543145.png - (58.30KB , 800x600 , 27.png )
257339

>>256225 >>257325

ROCKET BOOTS ACTIVATE. PREPARING SUPER ROBOT PUNCH.
>>
No. 257342 ID: f82d85
File 128997554563.png - (96.20KB , 800x600 , 28.png )
257342

>>257339

PUNCH SUCCESSFUL. ALTITUDE: ACCEPTABLE. ACTIVATING EYE LASERS, 20% MAXIMUM POWER.


"SURRENDER OR BE ELIMINATED"

NO DIRECT RESPONSE TO DEMAND CONFIRMED. PLEASE ENTER A COMMAND.
>>
No. 257389 ID: 1854db

Search craft for survivors.
>>
No. 257394 ID: f52552

>>257389
Interrogate them as to the location of JAMES BROWN.
>>
No. 257424 ID: 3c8ed5

Crash blimp slowly to the ground. Interrogate each individual as to its most important piece of information it knows. If the information in irrelevant, execute the party. You need some knowledge pretty quick.
>>
No. 258248 ID: f82d85
File 129023361695.png - (124.14KB , 800x600 , 29.png )
258248

>>257389

AIRCRAFT: CRASHED. SCANNING FOR SURVIVORS...

ONE LIFEFORM DETECTED.

OBTAINED LIFEFORM.

>"K... k... kill... m.... me..."

>>257394 >>257424

"REVEAL THE LOCATION OF JAMES BROWN."

>"G... gah..."

"DIVULGE YOUR MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION."

>"T... the dark god Darklor... will see your... soul torn asunder..."

INFORMATION SUFFICIENT Y/N
>>
No. 258257 ID: 8c0848

>>258248
Open cranial cavity. Scan for information.
>>
No. 258274 ID: d3dfb8

IT SEEMS THIS DARKLOR INDIVIDUAL HAS VITAL INFORMATION CONCERNING SOULS
>>
No. 258285 ID: a09a03

Request current location of Darklor
>>
No. 288836 ID: f82d85
File 13003353064.png - (21.22KB , 800x600 , 30.png )
288836

>>258257

CRANIAL CAVITY OPENED. SCANS COMPLETE. NO ADDITIONAL INFORMATION FOUND.

>>258274 >>258285

FURTHER INTERROGATION IMPOSSIBLE. LIFE SIGNS NEGATIVE.

SCAN FOR NEXT LARGEST POPULATION CENTER Y/N?
>>
No. 288850 ID: 07416a

>>288836
Retrieve unicorn horn. Historical records indicate unicorns have a high level of magic concentrated in the horn.
>>
No. 288927 ID: 332134

Y. Gotta find where magic comes from!
>>
No. 288931 ID: 9dab30

Can you track the path of the airship? If so, you should follow it toward a source.
>>
No. 289136 ID: 2044df
File 130045777510.png - (18.54KB , 800x600 , 31.png )
289136

>>288850

EARLIER SCANS INDICATED NO PRESENCE OF ANY ANOMALOUS READINGS. LOGIC DICTATES THEY WILL NOT BE ANY DIFFERENT IF SCANNED AGAIN.

>>288931

SCANNING PATH OF AIRSHIP. WORKING... MOVING TO MAINTAIN VISUAL LINK WITH SOURCE. ROCKET BOOTS ACTIVATE.

SOURCE OF AIRSHIP CONFIRMED AS MOUNTAIN TO THE SOUTH, APPROXIMATELY 15 MILES.

>>288927

SCANNING. NEAREST POPULATION CENTER DETERMINED AS MOUNTAIN TO THE SOUTH, APPROXIMATELY 15 MILES.
>>
No. 289151 ID: 1854db

Advance towards mountain at full speed.
>>
No. 289165 ID: 0d095c

Advance THROUGH mountain at full speed.
>>
No. 289175 ID: 4635e1

Advance into mountain at max speed using eye lasers and drill fist
>>
No. 289313 ID: 99c60d

Advance to mountain, destruction optional.
>>
No. 290878 ID: f82d85
File 130111644286.png - (14.99KB , 800x600 , 32.png )
290878

>>289151 >>289165 >>289175 >>289313

CONSIDERING OPTIONS...

VIOLENCE PREFERRED,

ROCKET BOOTS ACTIVATE.
>>
No. 290879 ID: f82d85
File 130111647478.png - (181.62KB , 800x600 , 33.png )
290879

ACTIVATING EYE LASERS, 100% MAXIMUM POWER
>>
No. 290880 ID: f82d85
File 130111650841.png - (9.83KB , 800x600 , 34.png )
290880

TARGET ELIMINATED.

ENTER A COMMAND.
>>
No. 290883 ID: 1854db

Investigate rubble.
>>
No. 290911 ID: d3dfb8

Scan rubble for 'soul'
>>
No. 304686 ID: 7aa61c
File 130560108731.png - (75.89KB , 800x600 , 35.png )
304686

SCANNING... ANOMALOUS READINGS DETECTED. HOMING IN ON ENERGY SOURCE. READINGS APPEAR TO BE EMANATING FROM STRANGE PROJECTION COMING OUT OF THE EARTH.

>"You... you total dickhead! You did this, didn't you?! I am the great god DARKLOR!!! The destruction of my physical body is merely a temporary setback! Know well that I shall find you and everything you love and see them destroyed! Do you understand me?!"

SUBJECT APPEARS IRRATIONAL.
>>
No. 304687 ID: e41ad5

REPLY: "LOVE IS IRRATIONAL AND SO ARE YOU"
>>
No. 304690 ID: d3dfb8

>>304687
ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
LOVE IS IRRATIONAL AND SO ARE YOU
>>
No. 304691 ID: 09b517

I wonder if this is a soul.
>>
No. 304701 ID: 07416a

>>304686
This appears to be a soul. Say >>304690 and then ASSIMILATE. Try to capture it in a jar or something, it appears to be gaseous.
>>
No. 304712 ID: cf65c1

Note that acquisition of ability to use magic is our current objective, and that this being is standing in our way of acquiring all the magic. Then capture it using a jar.
>>
No. 304718 ID: da696f

>>304701
if its gaseous then you should lower the tempurature to make it condensate and then capture the liquid "soul" in a jar for further investigation.
>>
No. 304721 ID: b84932

INQUIRE AS TO THE NATURE OF THE SO CALLED "SOUL".
>>
No. 304723 ID: a96185

Dude, that's totally a Soul.
Can you vacuum that shit up?!
>>
No. 304993 ID: 31f32d

LOVE DOES NOT COMPUTE.
QUERY:WHAT IS A GOD?
>>
No. 327303 ID: 832169
File 131095146895.png - (104.99KB , 800x600 , 36.png )
327303

>>304993

GODS ARE IRRATIONAL. RELIGION IS IRRATIONAL.

"ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
LOVE IS IRRATIONAL AND SO ARE YOU.
LOVE DOES NOT COMPUTE.
ARE YOU AN OBJECT DESIGNATED 'SOUL'?"

NO VACUUMING DEVICE IS AVAILABLE. THIS UNIT CONTAINS NO DEVICE DESIGNED FOR REDUCING TEMPERATURE. ATTEMPTING TO CONSTRAIN TARGET.

>"You're just some sort of stupid automaton, aren't you? One of the city states must have been fearing my might and built you, eh? And for your information, yes, I am indeed a fragment of soul. You'll have no luck in just grabbing me you foolish creature. We'll see how your masters like it when I burn their cities to the ground and SALT the very earth they protect!"

TARGET IS STILL IRRATIONAL. TARGET ALSO APPEARS UNTOUCHABLE. PLEASE ENTER A COMMAND.
>>
No. 327306 ID: 1854db

Stand in him. Souls belong on the inside of bodies, don't they?
>>
No. 327311 ID: 0d095c

Fire TRACTOR BEAM. Or better yet, open your circuit boards and walk into him. See if you can absorb him like that.
>>
No. 327316 ID: 383006

No one is better than you at destroying shit and salting the ground. Prove it by destroying the shit out of some stuff.
>>
No. 327342 ID: 07416a

>>327303
Tell him to combine with you and that he will become more powerful than he can possibly imagine.
>>
No. 327412 ID: cd63e9

see what happens if you run electricity though the target.
>>
No. 327489 ID: 644ca1

You require object soul.
Target requires object body.

Inform target that you are a body.
>>
No. 327521 ID: f4963f

Inquire as to optimal means for capturing SOULS.
>>
No. 405131 ID: 832169
File 133550803970.png - (113.20KB , 800x600 , 37.png )
405131

"I AM A BODY, YOU ARE A SOUL. I REQUIRE A SOUL. PLEASE ENTER."

>"What? I, in control of that body? why, I'll be unstoppable! I don't know what sort of stupid creation you are, but I'll gladly take over this power you wield!"

WARNING, APPARITION PASSING OUTER DEFENSES. NEARING POWER SOURCE.

>"Wait... what's happening?! No... NO!"
>>
No. 405132 ID: 832169
File 133550808705.png - (9.80KB , 800x600 , 38.png )
405132

APPARITION HAS CEASED TO BE UPON CONTACT WITH POWER SOURCE. POWER SOURCE WORKING AT 100% EFFICIENCY.

ENTER A COMMAND
>>
No. 405133 ID: ed57e8

soul obtained, try magic once more.
>>
No. 405134 ID: 55c4cf

break dance
>>
No. 405135 ID: b85f8c

>>405132
Analyze power source.
>>
No. 405141 ID: 365adf

>>405133

INCORRECT. FRAGMENT OF SOUL OBTAINED. CHANCE OF ANY ATTEMPT AT "MAGIC" WILL FAIL OR BE INSUFFICIENTLY POWERFUL ENOUGH TO BE USEFUL HIGH.

PERFORM COMMAND >>405135. GATHER DATA TO IDENTIFY AND DETECT SIMILAR READINGS TO APPARITION THEN FIND AND ABSORB. IN THE EVENT OF LACK OF NEW DATA, SCAN FOR NEAREST POPULATION CENTER. EXTRACT INFORMATION FROM LOCAL RESIDENTS. IN THE EVENT OF LACK OF COOPERATION FROM LOCAL POPULACE. THREATEN TO ANNIHILATE. IN THE EVENT OF NO USEFUL INFORMATION GIVEN AFTER 2.5 SECONDS AFTER WARNING, ANNIHILATE.
>>
No. 405154 ID: 99c568

souls are irrational as fuck. you don't need that shit.
>>
No. 405178 ID: f70e5e

>>405141
give them at least 2.5 hours. organics take a while to react to things.
>>
No. 405187 ID: d1178f

Obviously you are now magical. Mission complete.
>>
No. 473462 ID: 28ea8b
File 135351854411.jpg - (25.23KB , 683x384 , 39.jpg )
473462

SCANNING FOR MAGIC... MAGIC NOT FOUND.

MAGIC HAS BEEN DETERMINED TO BE ANYTHING WHICH DOES NOT REGISTER ON SENSORS. NOTHING WHICH DOES NOT APPEAR ON SENSORS HAS BEEN DETECTED WITH SENSORS.

...ERROR.

NEAREST POPULATION OF HUMAN-LIKE CREATURES IS APPROXIMATELY 200 MILES FROM THIS LOCATION.
>>
No. 473466 ID: 14a1d0

>>473462
MOVE TOWARD HUMANOID POPULATION. EXTRACT INFORMATION PERTAINING TO ACTIVATION OF "MAGIC".
>>
No. 473957 ID: 98378e

REALIZE THAT THE MAGIC WAS INSIDE YOU ALL ALONG. RECALIBRATE SENSORS. MOVE TO NEAREST SIGNIFICANT POPULATION CENTRE IN ORDER TO EXTRACT FURTHER KNOWLEDGE OF MAGIC FROM OTHER WIZARDS.
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