Ultimate Ham Sandwich Quest: Tangent A.... TheOlderOne 2010/08/29(Sun)14:38 No. 223367 ID: 8a5a9a
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Greg would soon emerge from the bathroom, snagging his Super Exodus 364 and three of his favorite games (Ultimate Pajama Master: Sleepover Edition, Return of the Red Axe: The Red Axe Returns, and Frantic Tammy). After which, he'd make his way beyond the door, to the outside world.

TheOlderOne 2010/08/29(Sun)15:06 No. 223379 ID: 8a5a9a
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Greg's hand would nervously reach for the door handle. After all, he half expected his ex-girlfriend Jenny to be on the curb, just outside of her car and ready to spew insults at him. Which, in turn, would turn into a redneck-esque domestic dispute on her front lawn, followed by the arrival of the police and yet another short-term stint in jail.

With a bellow of, "Fuck it," he opened the door.

It appeared Greg had much more to contend with than his bitchy ex. Her house and lawn was for lack of better words, floating in the sky. An immediate glance around to area revealed that they're other abodes, some similar in nature to Jenny's house while others were vastly different. There also appeared to be houses and lawns well above him, all of which were beyond the reach of Greg.

After nearly thirty minutes of freaking the fuck out and hurling strings of profanity that would bring a prostitute to tears, Greg decides to take a peak over the side of the floating lawn.

TheOlderOne 2010/08/29(Sun)15:15 No. 223388 ID: 8a5a9a
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It appeared that there was another floating house and lawn underneath of him. He estimated that was three stories down from his lawn to the roof of this house. Greg figured he could jump it, but he risked snapping his legs and loosing 2, maybe 3 hearts in the process.

The young male would stand back up and edge his way back toward the door, contemplating his next move.

End of the Cut Scene.

>>223388
do it

find a log and throw it down. see how it reacts.

TheOlderOne 2010/08/30(Mon)00:16 No. 223521 ID: 8a5a9a
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>>223507
After thinking it over, Greg decided to find a log in his back yard to toss at the house below him. He searches the yard and discovers one out back, which he drags to the front yard and toward the edge. He musters up the strength to lift the heavy log over his head, tossing it over the side with a grunt.

He watches it miss the yard entirely, falling past the edge and down further and further, until it crash through the roof of someone's straw-thatched hut that was barely in his line of vision.

Greg quickly scoots away from the edge to keep any eyes from looking back up at the him. He rubbed the sides of his temples and yelling out into the sky, "Fuck.. FUCK!" as he paced about the yard, randomly kicking at the flowers in his girlfriend's flower bed.

>>223489
He thought about it again; making the jump over to the next house. After throwing that log and destroying that person's roof, he only felt a stronger urge to.

What if he had broken some kind rule to this strange, new place? What if the person he pissed off could fly? With that utmost basic principle of gravity being shattered, all reasonable logic was thrown out the window.

Greg decided to preform a test experiment, squeezing his eyes shut and believing that deep down inside, he had the capacity to fly. He jumped straight up, but vertical leap wasn't increased by any means.

Greg sighed and move to look back over the edge. No one in that thatched-roof hut was outside of their house cursing. The male postulated that he probably killed whoever lived their and strangely felt no sympathy. After all, the circumstances were just a little abnormal and the possible death or deaths involved with the miscalculated toss of the log was rather extraneous in comparison.

Greg bit down onto his bottom lip and continued to think the situation over. The more he mentally measured the distance, the more he realized he could make it onto the roof with one magnificent leap, but he wasn't for sure how bad the outcome would be. In theory, he could even crash through the roof, albeit its blue tiles looked sturdy and capable of holding his mass.

"What to do, what to do..." he says to himself.

TheOlderOne 2010/09/01(Wed)14:42 No. 224649 ID: 659788
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BLAH BLAH CUTSCENE BLAH BLAH

>>223489
Greg had spent what felt like days thinking over this action before ultimately deciding to do it. "If this is really my only option," he muttered to himself allowed, opening his front door as wide as it could go before walking so deep into the house. He mentally calculated it one more time before running full tilt, speeding through the house, out the front door leaping over the edge.

Everything slowed down for the male, his hair fluttering in the wind, his hand moving to hold onto his hat to keep it from blowing away. The roof was fast approaching his feet thinking to himself, I made it!.

Indeed, he did make it, but he landed square on his feet. He felt sharp pains in either of his shins and he doubled over on the roof, his free hand stopping himself from getting a face full of roof.

Greg loses three (3) hearts, leaving him with just one (1). His shattered shins drops his Movin' stat down to one (1), making his speed and agility match that of an indifferent turtle until his legs are repaired. The only thing he could do now is roll off the roof or maybe yell for help. He starts doing the latter.

>>224649
What's that, behind the tree?

TheOlderOne 2010/09/01(Wed)15:40 No. 224666 ID: 659788
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Meet Kelynn'nik Sot Hamelgara (Kelynn to her friends) as sixty year old Hoj female that spent most of her life thus far (nearly a third) in some kind of school environment.

It was their she learned an intrinsic, but difficult to master ability of her people. When a Hoj focuses their mind, they can increase or decrease the vibration of atoms and with decades of study, molecules. She particularly loved working with pure iron because of this, as she could easily melt and re-solidify the iron into any shape she desired, so long as it didn't have complex parts and she had enough iron to work with.

She had spent nearly a month in solitude researching a mysterious ore simply referred to in academic circles as "92", because a single atom of this ore has ninety-two electrons and ninety-two protons. Study of his ore is highly dangerous, as its known to cause slow and painful deaths due its exposure. Yet, she felt if she could understand or even master this ore, she could give her people the edge they needed in their on-again, off-again war with the Skulk.

Sadly, however, she's hit a brick wall. Kelynn's dissertation was fast approaching and if she didn't complete it she wouldn't be granted her doctorate.

End.

TheOlderOne 2010/09/01(Wed)15:51 No. 224668 ID: 659788
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>>224653
Greg rolls over to look at something behind the tree. He yells out, "C'mon, ya bastard! Show yourself!" It soon steps into his view.

It's a chicken; the dumbest, tastiest bird in the animal kingdom. Greg sighs and rolls over onto his back.

Oh lawds, and RM quest. One using RTP while at it, eww. Download some tilesets, willya.

Look for a way to get off the roof. Preferrably without killing yourself in the process.

TheOlderOne 2010/09/02(Thu)19:42 No. 225121 ID: 3a7766
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>>224680
Greg accessed the situation, looking about his surrounding to see just what he could do. The roof was slopped on all its sides, with the exception of the flat part he currently laid on. If he scooted on his belly toward the edge and grab onto the gutter, he could drop onto the ground safely, but only if something could break his fall.

Perhaps his new avian friend would be willing to sacrifice its life in exchange for his, but he'll have to use something to lure it over to where he was. From what he could see, there was nothing on the roof that would suffice, but perhaps he had something in his pocket that could work in either luring the chicken or perhaps be used for something else entirely.

Greg's inventory is as follows:
- A wallet containing 32 ents, a Driver's ID, and a "Clem and Slim's Fun Time Bar-cade Extravaganza" points card.
- Three matches
- One lucky marble
- One pair of golden handcuffs
- One Real Human Skull
- Two poorly animated "Pretty Canyon Ponies: XXX" movies
- Four Pretty Canyon Pony dolls; Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Peppercorn and Parsley
- One Super Exodus 364 gaming system with two Control Gloves (left & right), one sensor bar, one classic controller and three games (Ultimate Pajama Master: Sleepover Edition, Return of the Red Axe: The Red Axe Returns, and Frantic Tammy.)

>- One Real Human Skull
roll this down on your left side. Hopefully the inhabitant will hear it and you can call for her help.

TheOlderOne 2010/09/03(Fri)18:58 No. 225514 ID: 232a9d
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>>225126
Greg withdrew the real human skull out of his unusually spacious pockets. He aimed to roll it over one particular side, but it slipped out of his grasp and was sent in another direction. It didn't matter much to Greg however, as it still nosily bounced off the shingles, hit the gutter and spiraled down toward the ground below.

Kelynn'nik started to take notice of the sounds. She ignored them at first, but their was something deliberate about them. She closed her book and decided to investigate, exiting her study, going through the parlor and stepping outside.

Whatever made that sound was now playing second to fact that her home and the lawn underneath it was floating about in the sky. Kelynn spent nearly ten minutes running about her yard, peering over the edge and making wild conjectures about how this happen.

This amused Greg beyond words. He bit down onto his bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud, content with just watching her until she managed to calm down.

Eventually, Greg would bellow out, "Hey, Elf-lady.. thing. Up here."

Kelynn would look up at him curiously before accusing the strangely dressed man of her houses current situation.

Thus began a long dialog of where Greg was from, why he was on her roof (much to his chagrin, she stated he probably could have just used all of the garments in his house to fashion a rope and simply climb down) and in turn Greg learned of Kelynn and what she was studying (much to her chagrin, Greg explained that was Uranium and it could be used as a 'really big bomb' and a source of energy.)

Eventually, the conversation made its way to the topic at hand with Greg uttering, "Do you think you can help me off this roof, KeKe?" Kelynn wasn't found of the name, but she replied, "Um, sure. Just hold on a moment."

Control has changed to Kelynn.

metal ladder. Make one and fetch him. Ignore any voices that urge you to tear off your own clothes.

don't make it, just get one.

TheOlderOne 2010/09/04(Sat)03:41 No. 225747 ID: 11eed0
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>>225620
Kelynn had a strange urge to free herself from her garments and prance about naked without regard to cultural mores and values, though it was easily suppressed, regardless of what these inner voices had wanted.

She ogled the scandium statue at by her front door, contemplating turning it into a sturdy, metallic ladder to mess with Greg's head...

>>225622
..But ultimately decided that using the wooden ladder in her crawlspace would be much more sufficient. After all, it was a waste of a good scandium statue. She placed it on the side of her house and climbed up the ladder, walking up to Greg and looking down at him.

She inquired, "Do you think you can make it down the ladder?" to which Greg replied, "I... I don't think I can. I think I shattered my shins."

With enough time, study and focus, she could use her ability to repair his "shattered" shins and fuse the bones back together but this was a long shot for a number of reasons, the biggest being she didn't have the kind of training needed to deal with organic materials.

Conversely, she could use her some metal to forge him some metallic shins, but most (if not all) of the ores she owned had varying levels of toxicity and would probably kill Greg.

The only other alternative was to hope that Greg's legs were merely fractured and/or broken and to use a splint to help them heal overtime.