Go after Roo- I mean, the party, you silly girl.

FOR THE LOVE OF PELOR, ENTER THE CAVE ALREADY.

Summon your familiar in preparation for entering the dungeon.

<3p 2010/05/20(Thu)00:47 No. 180140 ID: 543aa6
File 127434165868.png - (114.58KB , 600x600 , pause.png )

>You run to catch up with the rest of the party. It seems like there isn't much in the cave so far. It gets darker and Eli mentions something about a candle or something, but you glance at Rook who is looking right back, grinning, as if he knew what you were thinking about...
Rook: Shhh...

----------Paws------------

>>180140
If you want to tap him, slap him on the ass.

>>180141
Slap it! slap dat ass!

Nonono, it's quite simple. First you cast Emit Light on the weapons of the other two so they can scout ahead, then you're free to keep "accidentally" bumping into him in the dark.

>>180140
Slap that ass for luck and then plunge into the deep dank dark of the cave.

i get it.

by the end of the cave we will find a 5 star motel and a condom dispenser.

well since this turned into datequest, my paranoia kicked in and now i think rook is a crook that wants to steal our shit.

>>180194
Or an incubus.
After all, he seems to have used charms on Sarah.
Be wary.

>>180140
Rook is a Manslutcubus. We should probably dual class him into a berserker.

>>180140
I somehow had a feeling that this would end up happening.

Chick casters always go for the dashing rogues.

>>180057
I hope she isn't like this in reality. That's just givin' us tanks a bad name. T__________T

>>180250
>She just has a bat phobia. I don't know why she didn't mention it during all the cave talk.

Have Eli cast +10 STR on Rooks cawk.

>>180243
Hes hardly dashing. More creepy than anything.
Now that Ali on the other hand~

>>180265
Yeah, I do love that pony-tail. :3

Illuminate the darkness.

>>180282
/W MAGIC MISSILE!

>>180286
i am a part time grue and i approve of this message.

then accidentaly stumble everyone and grope away!

<3p 2010/05/20(Thu)20:08 No. 180476 ID: 543aa6
File 127441129225.png - (206.96KB , 600x600 , bluelight.png )

>>180282
>Darkness illuminated. Your thoughts are still clouded by the earlier... events. How did Rook know what you were thinking? It seemed odd, but you still trust him. Your thoughts are interrupted.
Aliandra: Oh, good job, Sarah!
Sarah: Yeah, thanks..
Elijah: WOAH WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
>You whip your head to the right with the rest of the party...

>>180476
We should ditch rook, he's creepy.

>>180476
He knew what you were thinking because you were staring at him, blushing, and drooling with a distant smile on your face.

Doesn't take a mind reader to guess.

>>180476
Rook was bluffing, you silly billy.

>STARE IN DISBELIEF

OK, theories! 1- Nothing out of the ordinary is going on and we just have really obvious poor control over our hormones. 2- We have really poor control over our hormones and our rogue is a mindreader. 3- As above, but he's reading this whole thread. 4- He has some sort of freaky magic mojo and is flat out projecting this stuff into our mind.

And independent of all those he kind of has an evil vibe going on. He's got those scrunchy evil planning eyes, he totally stabbed some bats to death, and it was his idea to go to this cave which has caused the other two party members to totally abandon us and he knows too much about it. So odds are like 80/20 he's a secretly some horrible evil monster who's planning to murder the other two and keep as as his love slave chained to the wall. So if it comes up, say no to manacles!

Don't use your new light to stare at Rook's fine, manly ass cheeks.

Rook is a mind reader.

Think about asparagus.

<3p 2010/05/20(Thu)20:58 No. 180514 ID: 543aa6
File 12744143329.png - (318.03KB , 600x600 , HULKSMASH.png )

>You think that he was probably bluffing you, but telepathically? If that's true, that skill could come in very handy later if necessary. To your left, a hulking ogre thing appears.
Ogre: -GRUNT- MASTER SAY KEEP BAD OUT OF CAVE. YOU BAD. MUST KILL.
>The Ogre stomps forward. Attack? Bluff? Say whaaaaaaaaaat?

>>180511
Yes, long, stiff asparagus shafts...

>>180514
Turn undea- wait, no cleric! Crap!

Um um magic missile?

>>180514
use a spell to blind him and then GANK THAT BITCH with your combined team might.
if its eyes are used to the dark, a blinding spell will be especially effective.

>>180514

Tank, attack the ogre up front. Rogue, sneak around and flank him. Healer, keep healing the tank. Sarah, cast some sort of damage on the Ogre.

LET'S DO THIS.

>>180514
What spells do you know?
Cast an illusion on him and make him think your all hideous hob goblins.

Wait, was that an accidental direction switch, or did an orc show up from the left while everyone's freaking out and looking at something off to the right? If it wasn't a typo, than clearly this ogre is our friend and we should ally with it against the mystery Bad before it assumes we're on its side.

Unless of course it's Rook's secret evil true form, in which case it'd take a heck of a bluff check to convince it we weren't together.

Summon something to cover you until the tank gets in position.

Ogres are dumb. Tell him you're not bad, and in fact the master will want to talk to you.

Charming would be nice if you have that, but it's worth a bluff.

<3p 2010/05/20(Thu)21:22 No. 180534 ID: 543aa6
File 127441576049.png - (480.78KB , 750x600 , ogreattakz.png )

>>180519
>Rook had already hid behind a rock and jumped up to the ogre's shoulders to stab him in the head. Aliandra pulls out her sword and begins to swing at the beast. Elijah casts sparkly star healy spells on Ali and Rook while.. a cat jumps into the scene.
Ogre: RRRRRAGGGGGGGARRRRHHHH
Rook: Hit him hard, Ali!
>Sarah is muttering something with her eyes closed. She has put the blue flame down on a rock nearby/

>>180522
>Shhhh... I totes didn't feel like checking what I typed before so f u

>>180534

Keep Sarah covered until she finishes her casting!

Whose side is the cat on?

Aliandra, avoid taking damage to armor/clothing, as that is your greatest concern as a woman in danger.

If Eli has a chance during the healing thing, cast some buffs on Ali and Rook. Give Rook +damage and Ali +defense.

Rook's continued skills as some kind of crazy combat god putting the official tank to shame really do help the secret evil horror theory, particularly when it was the OTHER rogue choice who was supposed to have been the stab-happy one.

Also, KITTY! $#@% combat! Hunch over and hold your hand up palm up so the cat can come sniff your hand and know you're good people! Sure earlier theorizing suggests it's either also a secret evil monster but Cat > Logic dagnabit!

Have the cat jump down his throat and claw him apart from the inside!

>>180542
The other rogue wasn't more stabby, just more stealthy.

>>180546
And sexy. She was a lot more sexy.

<3p 2010/05/20(Thu)21:48 No. 180550 ID: 543aa6
File 127441732557.png - (416.89KB , 750x600 , mangle.png )

>The little cat morphs into a saber toothed tiger, knocking over the ogre and mangling him, ripping at his neck and tearing at his chest. The party seems impressed. Don't you just love blood?
Aliandra: Well you coulda just done that from the start.
Rook: Oh, I need my knife back...
>Sarah opens her eyes and smiles at her familiar. She beckons him back.

>>180550
Also Paused

>>180550

VICTORY

Distribute XP to everyone!

>>180550
Best familiar ever.

>>180550
Ask the cat to retrieve dagger once its finished of course. Then pet kitty.

That's some killer pussy
:3c

>>180550
Man, when I saw the image I thought we'd lost a party member. That would have been pretty brutal. But then I read the text and everything was happy.

>>180562
Well, its not like they aren't replaceable.

>>180550
Now, pet the kitty and give both Rook and Ali a peck on the lips as thanks.

>>180550
Awww what cute widdle death on four legs. Pet it some and listen to it purring in contentment, maybe ask Rook to cute out the best bits of ogre for treats.

Have the cat grab his knife and bring it back to Rook

<3p 2010/05/21(Fri)15:50 No. 180933 ID: 543aa6
File 12744822025.png - (330.33KB , 700x700 , tiger.png )

>The cat drags the dagger, back to its original domestic cat shape form.
Ali: So what's his name anyway?
Sarah: Tiger.
>Ali gives Sarah the eyebrows
Sarah: What? You think of something more original. Besides, it makes him feel like a manly cat. Who's a manly cat? Yes, you are, Tiger.
>Sarah picks up Tiger and hugs him as he begins cleaning the blood off of himself and Rook wipes the blood off the dagger and puts it back into his pocket.
Eli: So what do you think the ogre meant by his "Master"?

Proceed deeper into the dungeon, tank up front, very visible, rogue a bit farther up ahead than the tank, stealthed, everyone else behind.

>>180933
probably just the dungeon boss.

>>180933
Probably just someone who had bound the ogre to their will. They seem to have treasure they want guarded, so there should be something here worth taking.

Masters are people who have treasure. Too much of it.

hell yeah, redundant party members!

prolly a taskmaster, watch out for slaves and miners.

next time, get them ALIVE. we need info too.

Hey. Hey. We chose the Buff-capable healer so WHERE ARE OUR BUFFS

Clearly, our buffs are being saved for the upcoming boss fight. We've just had 2 random encounters that were over in one round without anyone taking damage. Keep on conserving that MP!

>>181077
2? You mean 1. The bats were in our IMAGINATION.

Of course, the important thing here is- A party of a fighter thief mage and cleric met up at a bar, wandered to a nearby cave, killed a monster, and thus far have not stripped both the monster and the cavern of anything of possible value! I mean, clearly there's an oversized vest, some tattered pants, big ol' boots, a morning star, and a single disembodied shoulder pad! You can totally sucker some generic level 1 fighter into giving you all his money to make himself look like some goofy cartoony RPG protagonist with all that! And even if ogre blood isn't a real spell component, if you filled a vial with some you could totally pawn it off as someone as a natural male enhancement potion or something I'm sure.

>>180933
Probably he was in an S&M relationship, and it was his partner.

That tells us little of the actual entity, so we should just assume it's a little girl until we get more evidence.

>>181175
I second this notion.

>>181175
This is now canon

>>181272
This is now the best quest.

>>181163
( This is good advice, will use later )
>>181077
(I am still learnin how to do fightan quests <:3c )

Right then! Finish looting the ogre's equipment and blood and then further into the cave to kill and loot an uh... 8 year old dominatrix?

<3p 2010/05/23(Sun)17:55 No. 182020 ID: 543aa6
File 127466253261.png - (124.47KB , 700x700 , rewards.png )

>You receive: 20 gold coins, a 2 handed flail in used but alright condition, an ogre loincloth, a key, 3 ogre toes, and some experience.
Sarah: DIBS ON THE OGRE TOES!
Elijah: I want the flail!
Rook: Let's uh, toss out that loincloth... ugh.
Aliandra: I'll hold the key in my item pouch and Sarah, you take the coins.
>Everyone takes the items they wanted and leaves the ogre loincloth. The loincloth watches as the party walks away. It cries for hours before dying a week later from malnutrition. Everyone levels up to level 2!

>>182020
Explore!
The cave, I mean. Not your sexuality. Cave floors are icky horrible places to do that, and they're all covered in bat poo.

>>182020
Do we get more experience from the ogre loincloth?

>>182020
Well then lets explore this deep, dark and dank orifice in the earth some more then. Keep going, who knows, maybe something will attack and rip off Rooks shirt.

>>182020
What? Loincloth coulda been an excellent strangling weapon for Rook. Person would suffocate willingly.

Do we have a spell book to consult for uses for ogre toes? Also, what's with Aliandra suddenly calling all the shots like she's the one who assembled this party? She keeps running up ahead of everyone too. And I bet that's not even her real hair color!

>>182023
Okay, this amused me.

Put Loincloth on head.

>>182089
Write "DO NOT OPEN" on it.

Continuity says we already abandoned it, so we should at least wait to obsess over it until we're on the way back out. Give the scent of ogre crotch time to air out a bit and all.

<3p 2010/05/24(Mon)00:32 No. 182202 ID: 543aa6
File 127468636131.png - (541.91KB , 900x700 , indacave.png )

>Y'all continue down the cave when Rook stops suddenly and kneels to the ground.
Rook: These are foot prints... they don't look human though..
>Aliandra gazes at the cave ceilings totally bored and wishing she were at ye olde mall. Elijah is too busy admiring his new weapon to care what Rook has to say and the only person really paying attention is Sarah.
Sarah: Well, we best be on our best look out then...
>Rook gets back to his feet and leads the party further into the cave, watching for traps, more footprints, and stepping lightly.

>>182202


Oh God. Elijah is going to flail himself to death. And not in the good way.

>>182202

Roll for a Perception check.

Look for traps.

>>182202
Let's follow them. Maybe the little girl has an unusual foot condition.

>>182202
Does Elijah even know how to use a flail without hitting himself.

Man, we totally should have grabbed that guy with the beard instead of this haughty bimbo. And she's flat too! She probably slept with the blacksmith to get a discount on that armor too. I hope the next monster we find rips her empty little head right off!

>>182213
wow, no, just no.


anyway, let's follow those tracks.

>>182202
Follow those tracks.

And prepare some sanity shattering spells, you know stuff that kills in such an awesome way that people who watch it doubt they're sane anymore, because there is no way such an awesome thing could have happened.

>>182202
Ali: Make sure Eli knows how to swing that thing. Nobody's wearing a helmet. If something panics him he's gonna conk someone, possibly himself, given his rear-guard position something could sneak up..

This is a terrible adventuring party. If you can't power through the boss fight, be ready to leave the useless ones and flee.

>>182202
I'm sure there are ways we could ENTERTAIN Ali~
Give her as a squeeze. When she looks at you point to rook.

Make sure Eli actually knows how to properly use his weapon, while following the tracks.
Also, inform Ali that it would be best if she payed more attention to what was going on, seeing as Rook may accidentally over look a trap.

>>185017
Get her attention with an ass-pat.

Is this quest still alive?

>>194941
I hope so.

Let's hijack this quest!

>>194978

Let's not.

wtb bumps!